Send us Fan MailStranger Danger! Stanger Danger! This week we talk to a female listener who has found a new love for fucking vanillas that she randomly picks up. The problem is her husband and friends think she is throwing caution to much to the wind and putting herself in a dangerous position. You listen and decide for yourself. This week we also talk to a couple that is really getting into using household items as toys! Kinky fun to say the least, but they want our advise on things maybe they should not insert LOL. We also talk about the release of our brand new radio station FULL SWAP RADIO. DO you want to hear our other shows? Go to www.buzzsprout.com/181336 today! Visit our sponsors at: http://www.altplayground.net http://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com http://www.fullswapshop.comVisit us at http://www.fullswapradio.comVisit us at : http://www.krazykasbh.comYouTube : http://www.youtube.com/KasbhSend us emails at [email protected]: @TruthKrazyInstagram http://www.instagram.com/Krazy_Kasbh/Support the show
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth. I'm the host with the most and impatient goal and i'm here with the lovely lovely and one who won't start the fucking show miss amanda hey i will too hey what was that i did i started the show i'm supposed to say you used to be so i was like hey hey no higher hey i don matter. We'll go back and have you listen to shit to remember how. No, I just won't say it anymore. I don't have lines. No, yes, you do. You have like three fucking lines. That's one of them. We don't have any lines. Oh, my God. Yes, we do. Nothing's rehearsed. It's not rehearsed. We've done this 140 times. Literally. Cheater. Yeah. So for those of you just tuning in, this is season four, episode 140. Yep, figured it out. And, yeah, I'm Cole, and that's Miss Amanda, and away we go. Real quick before we get going, we've got our sponsors. I don't know where the fuck they are. That's awesome. Hey. So, number one, altplayground.net. Don't forget to sign up today. You want something new? You want something different? Groovy. Go check out altplayground.net. We're there. Hard to believe, I know. We're there. You can find this crazy truth. Altplayground.net. Just all kinds of crap. Big walls to write on and pictures to post and videos to share and events. And, yeah, check it out. Altplayground.net. All right. dot net all just all kinds of crap big walls to write on and pictures to post and videos to share and events and yeah check it out all playground.net also don't forget uh smart swingers read tits may sag balls may drop but a beautiful brain lasts forever so visit our good friends at asnlifestyle magazine.com sign up sign up today now remember they don't have subscribers just readers it's a free magazine as I got reminded I'll tell you that story in just a second 3 million readers every single month be 3 million in one great articles what not hey guess what you know you're going to find in February's issue what a guest author yeah I knew that already yep a place you can find ads for us in there as well. So great folks over at ASMLifestyleMagazine.com. And finally, you listen to the shows, you read the mags, be a super fan, and buy the swag. Speaker2: That's right. Speaker1: Don't forget to go to Full Swap Shop today for all of your needs. Speaker2: You know what? Speaker1: It's Sunday when we record. That means last night was Saturday night. Speaker3: Wait, what? Speaker1: Shut up. You were probably standing at your closet going, I need a cool kick-ass shirt to wear what should it be hmm hmm you know what if you go to fullswapshop.com you can have that cool shirt for next saturday and you know the decision will be made and it can have all kinds of cool stuff one of the many shows on there just saying anyhow so what we were initially talking about here before we went on the air oh by the way we do still do this in front of our secret secret facebook crowd on our secret secret facebook page that we still have because facebook took one of them down douchebags uh but the other one is so you can still check us out Crazy Classifieds don't tell the others I don't know if I would call
Speaker3:
Facebook douchebags when it was somebody that turned us in multiple times
Speaker1:
well yeah we have haters darn it just so you know
Speaker2:
haters
Speaker1:
we know who you are keep that in mind anyways whatever we just we just adapt we're like fucking cockroaches you aren't getting rid of me that easily but nice try so anyways if you want to be a part of it and part of our live studio audience listening audience I don't know. just adapt. We're like fucking cockroaches. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. But nice try. So anyways, if you want to be a part of it and a part of our live studio audience, listening audience, let us know and we will include you. We'll tell you how to join and whatnot because we can do that. That's funny. What? Is it bad that I can sell the ads by? No, that's awesome that means that means the message is getting through this is why that people like our show so what we were talking about before we went on the air repetitive so you remember that's right i'm like you know there's some ads that don't that's right but some of us know how to and some of us don't it's weird how that works out i'm in a really feisty mood oh boy you were nabbing there shit but i we won't even go there so one of the things now for those of you that are just listening this will make no sense so just block this part out for those of you who are watching okay so i'm a huge band guy whatever and i was fucking around with our microphone and i picked up our microphone your microphone my microphone and i've got it up with the stand short stand on the microphone and i said who am i and you just looked at me like i was clueless and all you came up with was some 80s band right yeah and you still have no idea do you no i didn't watch bands i could care less about them they just had a fucking look anybody i'm gonna tell you what video killed the radio star it is very very true this is a live one and there was just a fucking movie okay and how many freaking concerts are you under pressure are you under pressure anybody in our secret secret facebook crowd that can figure out who i would be imitating with a shorter version of that might just get something free i'll get i'll send you a free sticker a free uh crazy casbah sticker if you can before the show's over tell me who had a microphone to that with a microphone all the time all the fucking time all the time and the first guest came through at aerosmith no there was no scarves anyways uh but keep they have a short stand or a long stand they had a long stand this guy had a short stand their lead You just told me a long stand. They carry it with a short stand or a long stand? They had a long stand. This guy had a short stand. Their lead singer carried it with a short stand. They carried it with a short stand.
Speaker2:
Do it again.
Speaker1:
I've been asked to do it again. They always had a short stand. And in his movie, in the movie, there you go. Well, Leia got it. Yep, there you go. And you know what, Patrick? I'll send you one as well. Leia and Patrick both got it. Queen Freddie Mercury always came out and had half a microphone and carried a short one. Good job, kids. You guys get free stickers. We'll get them sent out to you. Weird Al.
Speaker2:
Really? Really? Jesus. Okay. All right.
Speaker1:
So we've got a fun-filled show for you. We're not as disheveled.
Speaker2:
That's right. Freddie Mercury.
Speaker1:
You damn well better believe it. I would sing like him, but I don't have enough teeth. He had extra teeth. It's true. That's why his jaw was different and had extra teeth. Just saying. Okay. All right, so here we go. Are we ready for the questions? What are you doing? Why don't I look over and you're dicking with stuff? Because you're quiet. So I was going to turn you up. Is that okay? Or do I need... Oh, fucking A. You know why? This is why I talked about having the microphone on. No, having the headphones on. But it's a hair thing. I said, do you want them? No, but it messes up my hair for the people that are watching at home. Maybe you don't know how to put them on. Maybe I need little ear ones. Maybe we need to upgrade our have little ear not in this room but we have and the cord is six inches long so i'll be pretty much smacked with my head against the laptop yep i'll just yell i'll watch i'll pay attention now and i will talk and enunciate like i know i should how about that enunciation i gotta practice i just booked another wedding tonight. You're a dork. Yeah. Really? I'm the quiet one? Little miss. Looks like I barely have a heartbeat on the lines. Okay. I wasn't in the microphone. We need a sound person. Somebody help us. Oh, you're loud. Fucking decide, woman. Mom and dad are here in the other room. Wait, we're not step-relatives. We can't have sex like that. That's weird. That's a porn reference. Okay. A whole genre of porn. The stepsister. Okay. She just wanted me to stick in the tip. Oh, my lord. Okay. Okay, you can get a sticker too jesse's i'll send you a sticker too okay so everybody wants a sticker now sticker sticker you get a sticker you get a sticker it's a scratch and sniff it's coming from amanda he wants to sticker i know i know i'm sure he does want to stick her anyways okay uh so questions talked. We talked about it. Questions. Anybody got a question? I like questions. All right. So I love our questions this time. They're really good. They are so fucking. We have never had questions like these two, actually. Oh, boy. No, that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Okay. So, because I did not... It's fucking old. Whatever. You did borrow my glasses. Shut up. This is titled Danger. And this is from Monica out of San Jose, California. California, yay. My friends in the lifestyle say I am being too risky. Okay, I like sex with adventure. I found a huge new turn on, hooking up with completely random strangers.
Speaker3:
Okay.
Speaker1:
So far, so good.
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
Seducing a guy at a bar, a at a gas station you get the point okay uh and you know where we're at i come so hard now but everyone's getting mad at me because they say it is dangerous i say it is my kink so i okay so i reached out because i'm going Well wait a minute that's not a big deal Well it goes a little deeper than that Oh Okay so my kink so i okay so i reached out because i'm going well wait a minute that's not a big deal well it goes a little deeper than that oh okay so what's what's going on uh the a list of places she's picked people up and had had sex with okay okay grocery store dog run okay i wonder how they did it sorry doggy style couldn't resist it um from behind they were they were out at uh they were at some sort of a wine she was at a wine tasting event type thing someone with appropriate social distancing i was told a wedding pretty much it's her new thing anywhere and then having sex random places. But she doesn't necessarily tell anybody that it's going to happen. So she has no backup. Okay. And she goes, the problem, as she said, I love it. She goes, my husband is getting all upset about it. He doesn't care that I have sex with other people, but he's getting all pissed because that I'm having sex with other people I don't understand so my question to that was well does he know and he doesn't know until after the fact which he's alright with it's the fact that she the one time the dude at the gas station was 1130 at night she went to put gas in the car and ended up being gone for two hours and he got all upset surprisingly enough so so really the question doesn't do this actually does not actually do that and now all of a sudden people on her page are like with one are all getting ready to drive to california to get gas the the question doesn't do this justice. When I reached out to her, the problem is that, you know, it was like she picked up a guy at a bar. She was supposed to be going with friends, ladies night out, all the rest of the ladies left. She stayed, picked up a dude at a bar that they've never been to before, didn't know anybody she's not telling it's she sees somebody right she wants to do it rock on and then she goes and does it but she doesn't understand that she thinks everybody else is being over the top about worried about you know her safety her safety when the reality of it is and so she's getting upset going it's a kink it's what i like because it's really turning her on yeah that was for the motorboat so the thing is is though i i can't side with her on this no you know there's one thing of you know if you're if you're at a gas station and you see
Speaker3:
somebody and you go okay i'm gonna fuck him hey i'm gonna go hit on this guy i don't know you know whether it's gonna go from there but you know i'll let you know okay so so here's the added
Speaker1:
here's the added part with this i ask her specifically i actually had multiple emails with her back and forth okay because i felt like i really needed to get an understanding of this
Speaker2:
I'll see you next time. That's the added part with this. I asked her. I actually had multiple emails with her back and forth. Okay.
Speaker1:
Because I felt like I really needed to get an understanding of this. I asked her where they were going and fucking at.
Speaker3:
In a car?
Speaker2:
Mm-hmm.
Speaker3:
In a car.
Speaker1:
In a car, behind a building, outside.
Speaker3:
Where you can get totally busted.
Speaker2:
No.
Speaker1:
More importantly, where you had nobody new where go find a dark spot and fuck so think about this for a minute so when i said to i use this exact thing i'm like so wait a minute so at 11 30 at night you went i said close your ass she goes a couple miles from my house to a park and we fucked in the park for two hours and your husband didn't know where you're at and you don't understand why people are upset. They're in life's problem. And right now, okay, for people listening, our page is lighting up. Not judging, but play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Absolutely. I could see why he's upset. She went for gas, safety issues. It's a dangerous kink. Communication's key. Yeah, another one. She really needs a backup, a safety, a friend. And that's the part where she is looking at this as like, by telling anybody, it's taken the thrill out of it. And she can't understand that it's just, she's all upset because it's not just her husband
Speaker2:
either.
Speaker1:
She's told some girlfriends, some other people in the lifestyle that are all saying the same thing, you're going to get killed and she thinks they're jealous.
Speaker2:
Nice.
Speaker1:
So, I mean, I don't know, I don't know what, what do you do you what do you she has a point that it's a kink i guess right it can be a kink but you can be smarter about it right and i don't think that i mean okay i have a thing for public sex. Wait, what?
Speaker3:
But I'm very cautious about where I do it. Yes, and someone knows where you're out in public doing it at. Right. You're not just randomly. You're not just randomly. Done a trampoline, you were there. Well, right, you're not just randomly. But I'm not just randomly going off. I don't it's not like I go run off and have sex with random people in random spots. Well, no, no. There's another factor here. In my opinion, I feel like she's she's thinking she is thinking like a swinger. That's great. Except you're not dealing with other swingers. Yeah. So you're not. You'd be better to set up a random meet with a swinger and pick them up and take them somewhere. Yes. Because that can still satisfy somewhat the craving it's just not a
Speaker1:
random dude that has no idea that you're going to hit on him and fuck him well yeah i mean granted there are some guys that are pretty fucking thrilled right now okay rock on okay there's gonna put uh go put live 360 app on your phone so so that someone knows where she's at that's a really good idea i didn't know that existed well i'm sure it existed but i didn't know about it yeah yeah well but I mean they're called I mean but something like that makes sense just so look this is how people go missing like because I have a certain phone you can go online and type in their website and hit track my phone and it will tell you where I'm at right right and which you don't know how to do it no I No, I usually know where I'm at. But your kids could tell you how to do it. Where's your mom at? Who's she doing now? Well, my thing is, okay, let's say you want to call your hubby. If he's all right with it, and he's getting just as excited about you fucking random people, rock on, awesome. So then go ahead and fucking call your husband and say, hey, we're going to, or text your husband, hey, just so he can kind of you know this is the color of the car or something so he can kind of casually from a distance drive drive by okay so todd on here just put on our page also just put uh an interesting comment she's also setting herself up for stds that was my first thought in the whole thing but well and and to be honest with you i never ask her if she used condoms all the time because ultimately okay this is going to sound horrible i'm going to sound like such a dickhead when i say this dick i'm kidding i honest to god really doubt i really doubt that or i would I guess that if she's not thinking about the safety of her life, I really question whether or not she would actually is taking the time to think about the safety of her vag. This is true. Unless she's always prepared, you know. I carry a condom in my purse all the time. Can't say I've used it, but I carry it in my purse all the time. Just like in high school, it's awesome. I didn't carry them in high school, are you kidding me? No, but guys all did. We didn't use them, but we like to have the mark on our stain. I don't see if I could get knocked up. It's all good. The bigger problem with it is, though, okay, and with the ST the stds is what type of people are you hooking up with because look the dude that goes okay uh we'll go ahead and uh yeah i'll go fuck you just randomly that dude maybe is probably not of the highest moral character just say the least either you know what i mean right i mean i don't know okay so there's other good points saying uh just because you know where somebody's phone is doesn't always mean that you're not hurt or know where you're at it's very true what's going to happen if if she runs into a psych psychopath or some fucking freak job you know what she ain't got to stand a snowball's chance in hell because if she runs into somebody who's looking to fuck with somebody looking to to hurt somebody and then she just comes meandering in and walks right into it then you start questioning what type of guy is she looking for or that turns her on to want to hook up with them you know is it it's not the dude in the cardigan sweater rougher type or is it you know not stereotyping shit but they're out there you know or is it the meth dealer on the corner hey let's go to the guy who's got the family truckster out there and the bow tie yeah i'm thinking that's not the dude she's fucking banging that's not the dude that's gonna say yes well maybe it is i don't know you don't know that you don't know what she looks like i don't know if i i don't know if i what i would do if somebody just walked him go you want to fuck you'd be like uh huh well i mean it'd be kind of like well hold on serious are you hot well i mean i don't know i would like to think of 48 years old i would be like a little smarter than that but then i also have seen me i know this one guy looks just like me with enough cocktails but sure let's go fucking bang one out not to mention okay wait what you do that so so on top of everything else here's what's here's what's really gonna be funny she's not going to get mugged or raped or anything, and that's not funny. That's good. Or she's not going to get an STD, and that's not funny. That's good. She's going to walk up to the wrong dude, and they're going to fucking nail her ass for fucking, like, fucking... Damn near prostitution. Prostitution. They're going to be like, you know... What they'll do is be like, hey, why don't you take a little bit of money for it? You know, here, why don't you take a little bit of money for it? And yeah, yeah. And if she does, then they're going to fucking nail her ass for prostitution. Very true. It could be an undercover cop. And you know what? How hot will it be now? Maybe she'll fuck the judge. I don't know. But how hot will that be standing with your name? How much fun would it be to call your husband to let him know where you're at, which was jail? Why are you in jail? Well, so there's this thing see uh you know yeah so uh and and here's the other thing there's a degree in that and mike has a good point too there is silly respect for the other person i understand occasionally it's your kink you want you know your husband's okay with it you get off on fucking random guys but if you're doing it all the time, and anywhere you go, it's like... It's careless. You know what? I think today, I just feel religious. Let's go to church. What would Jesus do? Him! Him! That's what he would do. Him! No, I don't think that's... It's careless. It is careless. Not shaming. I'm not going to kink shame. And everybody has their thing.
Speaker3:
But just because I like outdoor sex doesn't mean I'm going to go have it every chance I can get it. It's fucking cold out there. I'm not doing it in snow.
Speaker2:
Okay.
Speaker1:
Well, good to know. Depending on the season will determine you're off in this house. You're going to fuck outside.
Speaker2:
No.
Speaker3:
There's only certain places I've done it. I don't just randomly fuck outside.
Speaker1:
Why can we not kink shame? Here's my ultimate question with this. Okay, we shouldn't kink shame, but if it's a stupid kink, I mean, can't we kink shame stupid shit? I mean, just a little bit? Apparently, I'm getting this look. I'm getting this look like,
Speaker3:
how am I going to edit all this out of the show? No, because I can't say it. No, because... Well, because it would be kink-shaming. So I keep my mouth shut. Okay, well, we can honestly admit that we fucked random people one time outside of the There's a lot of kinks that we don't get into or necessarily agree with but it's not our place, it's not our bodies, it's not
Speaker1:
us. But if it can end up being a taxpayer's fucking legal fees for a public defender. So it can outdoor sex. Right, but a murder trial costs more. I mean, I don't know. All I can say is start watching the papers in San Diego. Here's the deal. Monica, I know you listen to the show and i know this is not the answer that you wanted to hear i know what you wanted smart about it you have to be safety that we you know that we agreed with you look these people are fucking getting pissy with you because they give a fuck so so that's a huge part of it they they care if they didn't care they'd be like just go fucking bang anybody right just go run amok uh angela has a good point aren't there safety measures in most kinks that's very true that is if this is a kink most kinks have a safe word where everybody's involved and they know when to stop guess what when someone's raping you or murdering you or whatever because they're not involved and you go yell like kumquat that's not going to mean anything they're not going to stop that's true the other person doesn't know yeah and and again when when you are dealing with vanillas when you're okay i'm going to put a blanket statement on kinks in general here when you are involving vanillas with a kink Thank you. okay i'm gonna put a blanket statement on kinks in general here when you are involving vanillas with a kink i'm gonna change what the definition of that means i'm talking even a swinger that it's a kink they've never done before they're vanilla in that kink right kinksters versus non-kinksters you cannot assume anything do not assume they know what's going on they're new they don't know they have to you have to teach them they have to be taught yeah you have to teach them you have to make sure they understand the safeties and everything else so i mean okay so here's another thing another thought process
Speaker3:
there are a lot of people that call things a kink when it's not on the kinkster level right you know what i mean like okay it's a turn on for them i get it in that more like a fetish yes but you don't know all the realms of the kink world yes yes i agree it's like a lot of people that want the consent not consent but they don't know what all is actually involved in the non-consent
Speaker1:
I'll see you next time. You don't know all the realms of the kink world. Yes. Yes, I agree. It's like a lot of people that want the consent, non-consent, but they don't know what all is actually involved in the non-consent. Yeah. No, that's exactly it. There's so many. We have known people that have been in kink and kinksters for a long, long time, as long as we've been swingers, if not longer. Mm-hmm. And the levels of kink and any one given kink like you can't just say spanking and like say well there's a kink spanking yeah there is a kink that's spanking but talking to people that are into spanking there's like fucking that's like a 20 mile list of how far that goes what is you know for us those of us that are uneducated in it we go spanking spanking your ass no that's not even that's not even the fucking tip you know and you bring up a great point consent non-consent there are people out there that like that as full-fledged, full-rape-type feeling. And there's some people that don't want it anywhere close to that kind of level. There's all kinds of levels. And you've got to know, I almost think that maybe what Monica has is a little bit of a consent, non-consent type thing. But you have to let the other person know. Well, I think maybe Monica should do a little bit of a consent non-consent type thing but you have to let the other person know well i think maybe monica should do a little research on what she's trying to reach or go to classes or meet people that know to research this i'm sure there's a name for this type of kink research it and find people that are educated in it that can tell you probably better ways than us to get the feeling get the excitement of it being a stranger with it not with it still being safe if you're gonna take this step and this gets you off and yeah if it's role player whatever then you need to you know you need to go from there now kenny has has a good point. Remember, she's the one choosing who. She probably already sized up the person. Might not be the best thing. Also depends on the neighborhoods. And you're exactly right, Kenny. We hope that she's not letting her. It's like a dude not thinking with their dick. You know, I'm hoping her fucking clit isn't taking over her brain. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Apparently. The other challenge is this. Okay, when you look at, and not everybody's a serial killer, obviously, but when you look at serial killers, okay, research it. You can't necessarily tell just by looking at them. you cannot you cannot fucking just go oh yeah that that dude's a serial killer i i saw a fact one time it's like every person in their lifetime will walk right past someone that is going to commit a murder seven people in your life you will walk past them that are murderers that you don't ever know i mean so the thing is is that that's therein lies the problem once you think when you take an environment that you do not have control in but you believe you have control of it you're fucked because you don't and I know that that's part of the excitement. Some people jump out of airplanes to get that. Some people drive fast cars. Somebody, everybody has their own thing to get that rush. But the rush is the fact that you do not have control.
Speaker3:
The only time I've done anything even vaguely sporadic like that is a certain person. Hold on. No, stop it. But he used to be lifestyle. Yes. But not anymore. So it was more like texting you. We're going on it. I think something's going to happen. I'm really not sure. I think something's going to happen. And then it was like, i'll let you know yeah yeah but i'm texting you going i think this is gonna happen but i also knew the guy so and it was it was at the safety
Speaker1:
of your job and what was it a random place at 11 30 at night well i did okay so what about the vanilla vanilla one outside the bar that doesn't. We were both drunk and doing things.
Speaker3:
No, no, at work.
Speaker1:
Oh.
Speaker3:
It didn't go into sex, but.
Speaker1:
It was still at work. That's the difference.
Speaker2:
It was still.
Speaker3:
I'm not going to get murdered at work? Is that what you're saying?
Speaker1:
Well, probably not. I mean, I think statistically it's less. I think when I worked in that industry, there was a better chance that I was probably going to get murdered there, you know, because being in the car business as a salesperson or a finance manager, but a pissed off customer. But no, I don't think so. There was still some control. No, she did not give me the aids that she likes. Okay. So, you know, I don't know. Monica, pull your head out of your ass just a little bit. That's what I'm going to say. They care about you. Think it through. Do some research. Find a better way to scratch that itch. And if that itch continues and it burns in your pee, see a doctor. All right. Let's take a clean.
Speaker2:
That's what you did.
Speaker3:
I know. You said scratch that itch and you did your finger.
Speaker1:
Well, because it was, her cooter's itching. So find the spot and rub the ripples. Rub the ripples.
Speaker2:
Rub the ripples.
Speaker1:
And now it's all wet.
Speaker2:
Cush.
Speaker1:
There was a candy that had like a juicy center. Back when you were a kid, you put it on a commercial with suck, suck, bite, and it was a gush.
Speaker3:
It was called gushers.
Speaker1:
It was gushers. So it was like the, it was, you know what? From no more squirters. If you read into the show and you're a squirter, we have questions about squirters. We're not going to talk about squirters anymore. You're a gusher. Cush. Because you can make a cool kush sound does it make a sound i've never heard a sound i heard one because when the girl squirted all over your face you're like ah that was a sound i mean it wasn't it wasn't a hot sound and i It was horrible. You were underwater for a second. That was kind of funny. No, it wasn't. Is that a cum bubble? Wait, what? That was horrible. Gush. Otherwise, it sounds like Pokemon. Squirtle, squirtle. I forget what the big turtle was. Wartortle. Wartortle. So that motherfucker. Why would I know that? I don't know. I had to know i had to learn them or gusher or squirter that's when you graduated from a little dribble that was another commercial by the way hopefully all these commercials will reach out to us and send us money okay hey so uh midterm commercial here this is really important midterm mid-roll this is a mid-roll that's like my stomach but in a commercial format mid-roll anyways uh hey so get ready kids it's coming you're gonna see it everywhere it's not just a mood uh it's more than a mood it's a lifestyle full swap radio that's right. FullSwapRadio is coming. Gush. Coming soon. Not fast enough. Someone needs to stimulate her a little harder. You're going to see it. You're going to want to hear it. We're obviously, it's our radio station. We're super excited about it. And we've already got, oh, 20 or 30 shows going to be on it. So so all your favorite shows fullswapradio.com uh all of your face not your facebook all of your uh podcast and sex positive needs radio shows are gonna be all over it can't wait so fucking excited and finally don't forget to check out our website www.crazy k-r-a-z-y casbah k-a-s-b-h at no.com look at-K-A-Z-B-A-K-A-S-B-H No, dot com.
Speaker2:
Look at our shit.
Speaker1:
I was waiting for you to do that. Fuck, 140 times, still can't figure it out.
Speaker3:
No, you can't.
Speaker1:
All right, let's move along to the next question. Shall we?
Speaker3:
We shall.
Speaker1:
I wanted to sing out the Queen song.
Speaker3:
I wish I knew what they were. I don't know in this time.
Speaker1:
Fat bottom girls. Yeah, that's my song.
Speaker3:
We all know that.
Speaker1:
Is that one? Yes, it is, and don't go any further with that. Bicycle. Don't shut it. Don't shut it. At least I get on a bicycle and ride. Get on your bike and ride. Get it. And if you don't, I get to watch you pout. It's awesome. Okay, so this next one is from. I don't pout. Depends which bicycle we're talking about. The one with the bell on it or the one with the one at work. Anyways. Okay. Let's move along. Shall we? This is from Will and Tina. They are in St. Paul, Minnesota. Okay. Okay. We love the lifestyle. It's caused us to really open up sexually. So our question is different. Neat. It does not involve anyone else, just us. And I was like, sweet. This will be fun. We've started using toys and creating toys. What are you doing over? I look over and you're rowing your titties. Toys and creating toys what are you doing over i look over and you're rowing your titties uh toys and creating toys uh wow okay no let's do it for somebody okay we love we we have started using toys and creating toys household items uh it is a game based on what we grab and take into the bedroom. We use these different things. Well, we use these different things well we use these different things on both of us we don't want to be on an episode of sex sent me to the ER anything we should avoid really important for Will as she uses them also she say what kind of toys if you'd quit fondling your tits while I was reading the letter he loved it though I'm glad do you want me to check that out again focus don't touch my notes they're household items it's a game they're basically so they're creating toys with household items it's a game so whatever they bring in so yeah that can send you into the ER I mean come on okay now first of all before we go anywhere in this question see the guy that fucked the camp stove we watched that one rock on to hear that the fucking lifestyle has opened them up This is like in four years of doing this This is the first time we've got a question A sex question That does not involve an issue with another couple Okay so I get this email I don't know how I got signed up I'm pretty sure I signed up for it But it was on sex education And different whatever okay so it talks about male orgasms female orgasms just different topics and one was about toys and it says do not use and i laughed because i'm like oh my gosh i never thought of that do not use household stuff and food like cucumbers and cell phones so they'll put it on vibrate and stick it up there and it will vibrate i'm like going i'd rather have a dildo that vibrates to stick it up there but i also dated a guy that after we broke up he went to go he was in some medical training he became like a respiratory therapist whatever but he had to do a clinical thing at an er right he goes you would be amazed at the things that people get stuck and i'm like no i was really vanilla really vanilla and i'm like no and he goes oh this guy came in with two potatoes shoved up his ass and they were stuck and had to have them surgically removed i'm like oh boy oh we We've known people that use actual sex toys that the ends have broken off and gotten lodged and they didn't know how they were going to get them out. It's a serious thing. Yes. Okay, so we're going to crack jokes as this goes through because it's funny, but it is a serious thing. It is serious. Look, there's a reason sex toy manufacturers carry a lot of insurance because seriously you can have something fucking break come off fucking a curling iron has on it for external use only and that is because somebody not necessarily the girl somebody shoved it somewhere it was not originally supposed to be that is that is correct look okay rock on that you're doing game stuff that's cool when it comes to food items sugar free yes because it will cause yeast infections yes that i That I didn't really know until later.
Speaker2:
Fresh. Later.
Speaker1:
Fresh vegetables. You don't want one that's getting kind of moldy and ready to break. Well, I wouldn't think. I mean, I don't know. I mean, okay. And I'm going to show my complete and total fucking absolute stupid ignorance here. And this will show how much of a straight cash.
Speaker3:
I've heard powered toothbrushes. That was also in the article. It was about electric toothbrushes, not to stick them up your vag.
Speaker1:
If it operates with electricity, don't fucking stick it where it's wet.
Speaker3:
Even battery, well, okay. Battery-operated household items aren't intended to necessarily get wet,
Speaker1:
where dildos and vibrators are purposely made to not get to to handle wetness of a small variety okay all right okay i'm gonna show i'm gonna show how much of a fucking straight guy and how ignorant i am with this a little bit okay because the first thing i thought of was well i don't know what what could or could not create a vacuum i'm thinking in terms of going up up up your butt could create such a vacuum it sucks it up that i have heard the stories we have our doctor friends we know other people that if you use something too small your body the muscles of your butt and it are strong and sphincters muscles whatever if you use them too strong too small and if it gets it can your muscles are contracting and shit and it's basically your butthole is going to reach out and grab it and pull it back in there that's not how this works but you know what I mean it's one of those things where if something or lube and you if you it's slicked up and you aren't paying attention it goes up too far you're going to end up at a doctor right okay i will say this the one thing i do know is if something gets fucking lodged what you're trying something it gets out of hand. Don't, look, go to a doctor.
Speaker3:
We watched one episode of sex, whatever in the ER.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker3:
The sex edition.
Speaker2:
Right.
Speaker3:
Where someone had a dildo, not dildo, I call everything a dildo, but it was a vibrator specifically made for orifices.
Speaker2:
Yes.
Speaker1:
Lodged up the guy's ass. Yes, because it was lubed up. It got away from it. It got too far up there. And it got sucked up and he had to go and try to get it out. And he goes, no, I wasn't playing with it because he was embarrassed to admit that he had been playing with a vibrator. Yeah. And it was like, no, you know what? They've heard it all. You can tell them. Plus, you should tell them. I them i don't know how it got the worst thing you can do is try to start fit fishing around yourself so okay so before we go through the things of not to use look if something happens go get have a doctor get take care of it go into the er i'm telling you right now if if if you start fucking around with your intestines and you perforate a bowel it can kill you yeah okay so it really you know i mean all joking aside if something happens go get medical professionals to do it because i'm telling you it's not a thing of well we'll just hook something onto it and just give it a yank i mean you can fuck some shit up just like as if you take and put something with sugar and it gets in a woman's vagina it's going to create an issue you you don't did you really just say vagina i did i was trying to be all medical sugar in the veg no whipped cream in the veg so the or okay here sounds something stupid air yeah okay so you know it's cute to crack a joke or play with the whipped cream cans you know the spray ones but you don't want to fucking stick that and shoot air into a woman's vag that i know that can kill her okay so i mean i mean yeah you had to like fucking you had to think this through a little actually this is by do people do not play with food people actually do whipped cream inside people will do in it given to their own devices yes people are dumb okay they get caught up in the moment amanda we watched a show where a dude stuck his dick in a fucking camp stove hole because he's fucked up. So, yes, people will do, I mean.
Speaker3:
It was funny.
Speaker1:
It was funny he was carrying it around with a towel over it. Look at most of the sex toys. Dan's talking about be careful with clothespins and stuff like that. We've all seen pictures where people have clothespins. I've stuck a clothespin to mine before they were pierced. Good job. I took a picture of it and sent it to you. Fuck off. You know I did that the point no and it hurt and i won't i'm like a hell no i won't ever do that again but you see that kind of shit all the time people you can fuck shit up so the thing is is i don't want to bash him for finding and being creative but it's like you hear about people uh light bulbs this is this is you can Google it. Fucking light bulbs that people have taken and deep-throated a light bulb and had to go to the ER because, guess what? It broke? No, it will go down, but it won't come back up because of the shape of it. Yes. They've done the same thing with putting that in different places, that it will go one go one way but it won't come back out the other why would you deep throw the light bulb there are people that have stuck it up look we're kind of all okay there are people that swallow swords there are people as people i love the shelter life as people sometimes we turn like two-year-olds we find a hole and all of a sudden we start sticking stuff in it i don't know why people do it look have you ever picked your nose you know not to pick your nose you're 49 years old have you ever picked your nose of course you've picked your nose i pick my nose all the time you never know what kind of winner you're gonna find you're sitting there next thing you know your hands up your fucking nose i don't know why you do it it's just you do it because it's a hole is there a hole so people do stupid shit so when a couple's out have i tried a cucumber yes i've tried a cucumber i try to carrot yes i've tried to carrot were they fresh yes were you being very careful you wascally what's up doc you have the right shape shampoo bottle in the crunch okay see you're proving my point now you're proving there's this lamp and it would fit just perfectly I was in a crunch and I wanted to get off in the shower and I'm like that's kind of the right shape they don't do do it. How many shampoo bottles come in the size of a cup? You'd be surprised. You know what? You know what? I am now on a mission from God to have a Casbah line of shampoo, and the bottles are coming in the shape of a dick. Absolutely. So when you're in a crunch, so now those commercials where the gals in the cycle, oh, oh, when she's washing her hair, those will be so much more realistic when she's actually washing her hair with one hand and banging herself with a bottle in the other. Oh, my God. I guess it was pre-lubed.
Speaker2:
It's all right.
Speaker1:
I'm not judging. I'm just saying.
Speaker3:
I'm just saying that I've tried it. That was way before we were ever in the lifestyle. So I didn't have dildos. No, you didn't. No. Don't act like I would have deprived you. I was like, you know what? This is a good Christian home. There will be none of these sex toys around here. Well, you know, I'm sorry. No, not quite. Mother Mary, what would she do? Have I looked around going, God, I really would like something different. And then I go, I can't find anything. Move on. How many different things are there? It's a stick. It's a curved stick. It's a vibrating stick. You know what? You look around. No, stop. Pause. Oh, Lord. You look around the house and see how many things are perfectly round that would be willing that would be able to get you off i'm not talking about looking around the house i was talking about going and buying sex toys but actual sex toys there was one time what was it we were talking about something and someone said that they would go to menards and pick up like the like some type of a cleaner a brush a bottle cleaner or something that had rubber on it and they said they absolutely loved it it worked great yeah yeah you yeah you can go yeah look here's the deal if you've got if you've got some guts if you got some courage all you really need is a test tube and some bees shake those fuckers up and just no what was the first the first dildo someone when i first started working there had to tell me about it and thought they'd get catch me off guard that's a lot it's not cleopatra and it was like a like a cactus stick with bees in it or something probably or honey or like the honey the uh honey the the fucking they look like wieners on a stick out in the Nile. I don't know what the fuck they are. They use those. But it was like hollowed out and then they put it I'm like going okay you're not going to get me to react to that but sure. Yeah whatever. So I'm glad we're answering these people's questions. We're doing a great job answering them. We give ideas. Holy shit. So what you need to do go to your neighbor's to do make sure it has a good handle on it if you're gonna try something no seriously just go slow and think about it before you stick it up anything if you're gonna stick it up your ass or stick it in your cooter or stick it down your throat think for just a minute what happens if this won't come out yeah well it's all external or internal stuff but there is some stuff that you can get to do sensual play right yes like what is your finger in me well you love absolutely you absolutely love feathers oh i love feathers that would get you off in a heartbeat. No, it would put me to sleep.
Speaker2:
Look, if you tickle me, like a nice tickle, if you really want to score points with me,
Speaker1:
you won't get fucked for like six hours because it'll fucking fall asleep. But if you really want to score points with me, tickle me. You give a full body tickle, I'll love you. Yep. It's all good. You know, but if, you know, if you're, you know, I don't know, I mean, it won't get me off, but I'll be really appreciative of it. Get your attention. It'll probably get you a free breakfast. You tickle the right spots, it gets you off. It doesn't get you off, it gets you ready to go. It gets you ready to go, but yeah, if you tickle me, a tickling me will relax me more than a fucking massage will. Why are we talking? This is not what we're supposed to be talking about at all. This is not helping people. Well, the only reason I say think about whether or not you can get it out. If you put something in your throat and you can't get it out, remember, you can't breathe. So think that through. Just have some. If it could break. Don't stick it in your cooter. Don't stick it in your ass. Yeah, I wouldn't suggest any break. You know any you know because look your muscles are strong you don't have any clue what a little bit of a clinch can just totally bust if you think glass hurts a piece of glass a shard of glass a sliver hurts in your finger it's gonna hurt like hell in a pussy well you think about the glass dildos the glass dildos are solid glass they're not hollow yeah no. Yeah, they're not hollow. Not in the least. And here's the thing. Again, yes, handle. Make sure you have space, room, you know, think it through a little bit. Go slow. Go slow in, go slow out, you know, because you don't want yanking, just ripping and tearing. Next thing you know, half your intestines are piled out on the bed with you. And that's when shit gets weird. I mean, if somebody's stuck an ice cube, you know, yeah. There's some stuff, you know, it'll melt. There's no sugar involved. No, that would be Kool-Aid. I don't get food to play. I don't get food to play. It's gross. I've had somebody stick, like a boyfriend in high school, stick an ice cube on my clit, and I about threw a fit. Okay, that's one thing. I went to a party and had a sugar-free popsicle. Yes. That was miserable. But you participated. I did not like it, but I did participate. You did participate. And there was a guy there to warm it up between times. Yes. But like other foods, it's just sticky. I mean, here's my thing. I don participate. You did participate. And there was a guy there to warm it up between times. Yes. But like other foods, it's just sticky.
Speaker2:
I mean, here's my thing. I don't, look, I don't want to waste Cool Whip on your cooter.
Speaker1:
You know, just give me a spoon and I'll eat the Cool Whip.
Speaker2:
We can fuck and I'll eat Cool Whip afterwards. That's fine with me.
Speaker1:
I mean, you know. Very true.
Speaker4:
Although, do you remember one time we tried it?
Speaker2:
Cool Whip?
Speaker1:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
This is before we started to work into like being,
Speaker1:
We'll be right back. Very true. Although, do you remember one time we tried it? Cool Whip? Yeah. This is before we started into being, we weren't swingers yet, so we weren't shaved and clean and all that bunch of shit. And that just is a sticky fucking, but now you're just licking like hairy Kool-Aid. I shaved before we got in the lifestyle. Not before we did the Cool Whip thing you didn't. No, probably not. And that was just like a hairy fucking a hairy fucking the 70s bush going well that was that was just like hairy fucking cool whip it'd be like taking the spoon having a cool whip on it dropping it on the floor because we got dogs that should pick it up and eating it i was just like that was fucking gross and then we were and then we were both just sticky it was like okay let's go take a shower That's good. Honey? Really? Honey's fun is sticky. I, that's good honey really honey's fun is sticky that now you better be careful doing we have somebody to put honey be careful outside because remember if you're in some parts of the country you'll attract bees that'll hurt i don't know if i could do honey if you're in other parts of the country, you'll attract a bear. And if you can sprint, if you can sprint, you, you want it. Now that could, you know what? Monica, from our first question, should try that. Smear honey all over her cooter and her butt and all over and go in the woods and see if she can outrun a bear. That'll give her a rush. Rawr. Okay. I'm such an idiot. I've tried chocolate. Who did I try chocolate? Like the... Takes a while to get it all off. Yeah, I can see that. Somebody tried the liquid, like, Hershey's syrup. Who did that? Was it you? Wow. I'm sure glad it was memorable. Yes, it was fucking me. Well, I don't remember, but I'm, like, going..., I was somewhere and some random person poured chocolate on me. Have you been hanging out
Speaker3:
with Monica? No, I was thinking maybe a previous boyfriend like a long time ago. That's why I can't remember. You didn't
Speaker1:
even used to suck dick and previous boyfriends are dumping food on you? They can
Speaker3:
lick it off me. I don't care. I don't remember getting my pussy eaten either.
Speaker1:
How many boyfriends previous in high school were fucking licking your vag with or without candy coating on it? Oh my God, you still have to go as an M&M now. I don't think any. I don't think any. Yeah, now you're going as a blow pop. He might have been the first one to give me oral. Imagine that. But he did the ice cube thing, so maybe that was just on the belly button. Great, he just spit on you. Neat, that's hot. I didn't compensate for something. Human s'mores. Fucking rock on. That would be hot as hell. Somebody's getting... So we bring in the creamy marshmallow. No one is putting anybody else over the fire without signed consent form. That's all I'm going to say.
Speaker3:
At Crazy Summer Nights, it'd be fun to do a food thing as long as you have a way to clean yourself off because that would...
Speaker1:
It's called the power washer. Okay, so if we're going to do that, we need to put a note. We're not bringing the dogs. Because I figured for seven nights, we'd bring the dogs. We've done shots off of people's bellies. I'm not bringing Willie if we're doing a food day because that's 140 pounds of he'll outrun your ass. No, I'm good without that. We're good. I just wanted to shut on somebody covered in peanut butter i won't let him lick you but i'll let him shake so you'll just be covered it'll be like your peanut butter peanut buttered and furred instead of tarred and feathered mike say he'll be the the heat rock on look i'm just gonna videotape shit that. All I'm doing is documenting this shit. I'm not even a swinger. So all you guys know, I'm not actually a swinger. This is all just one big documentary that we're going on. It's like some sort of weird experiment that we're running. There's some people that are listening that would disagree. I don't know. Not me. There's a couple that's seen you in action. It's like a Call of Duty thing. Forgot the guns. Oh, shit. Peashooter. Ping. Here's what's funny. Okay. I never want to have a golden shower. That's never getting that in my life. But you know what? If you pee on yourself, you're not sticky. And most people are like, yeah, I'm not in the golden showers. When you talk about fucking goobing food all over them, they're like, fuck, yeah, I'm in. Very true. Really? And we're going to do it it let's do it let you know what all right i like the idea of s'mores and everything and we'll do that but let's not be pusses about it like anybody can just do one course and do dessert okay let's step the fuck let's raise the bar oh good god let's crazy casbah this shit the way it's supposed to be. Okay? We're going to do like fucking, we're going to do like candy corn. It's probably dog hair. Yeah, probably. We're going to do like candy corn. We're going to do the whole meal. So we're going to start with like gravy and dressing. We're going to stuff you full of dressing. We're going to pour gravy all over each other. Some mashed taters, cranberries. We'll you have to work your way mashed potatoes be fun mashed potatoes and gravy be fun for wrestling it it would be as long as it's warm it would be i'm just picturing people just slathered and you just picture people just slathered and fucking walk around slathered in gravy and fucking like a bun stuck to their head and like the cream, green beans. Everybody has it like the holidays, you know? The green bean casserole. Casserole. That's nasty. That people smeared and that shit all over them. When I get to start with this, it's just going straight to fucking dessert. See they can over engineer the fuck out of it Kiddie pool wash station We can do this right We can do it an all day thing Start with breakfast I'm just going to dump syrup and milk all over you Hey you know what You want to tell me that every woman wouldn't like to get That's what the syrup is for Fuck no syrup sugary Not if you get it sugar free here's the thing you know what how about we fill a kiddie pool full of rice krispies we'll dump a whole bunch of milk in it let girls get in there snap crackle pop there you go those three little fuckers are trying to get in my vag and here i was thinking eggs be nice andimy. That would be what the sausage would be like afterwards. Nah. All right, well, you know what? It's almost time to fucking go. Oh, my God, it is. Okay, well, with that note, I'm hungry and we got to go. You have three minutes. So, Ken, shout out to our sponsor. Well, by the way, Will and Tina, I hope that helped because I have no idea we didn't answer
Speaker2:
shit.
Speaker3:
I don't know if we actually helped or not. It's food for thought.
Speaker1:
This is why we get paid the big bucks.
Speaker2:
It is. All right.
Speaker1:
So, hey, don't forget altplayground.net. Sign up today. Find us there. Find us here. Find us there. Find us everywhere.
Speaker2:
We're like, where's Waldo? There we are we are on alt playground dot net don't forget to read so when your tits are sagging your balls are drooping you're still reading asn lifestyle magazine three million readers can't be wrong sexy sexy fucking swingers uh and remember you've listened to one of the shows you've read the mag so buy the swag be a super fan go to full swap shop today tonight and buy some fucking shit uh jesse you guys send me uh address make sure i send you a sticker and uh if you want to find us places you can find us at crazy class of fuck nope you can find us at crazy casbah.com you can find us on youtube you can find us on twitter at truth crazy you can find us on instagram you can find parts of amanda on porn hub and on only fans uh you can find parts of me probably on the corner begging for money and uh yeah and you can send us emails at crazy k-r-a-z-y dot casbah k- K-A-S-B-H, at gmail.com. Hey, dude, it's the only way we know how, the only way we want to, and the only way we ever fucking will. Why? Because we don't give two fucks.
