WE NEED ACCURATE LABELS

"should be a trivial task if your site is built correctly."

I think I spotted the flaw in your argument...

CurEUs you nailed it with your response.

The use of labels allows people to more easily connect with others of the same mindset. People use SLS for many different things, from a quick hookup, to looking for a long term partner, to finding fwbs, to planning an event.

I see no downside to allowing us to use labels if we prefer. I'd like to see ones for gender identity, Sexual Preferences, and even things like being Dominant/Submissive/Top/Bottom etc.

Updating the current Straight, bi/bicurious to add in others should be a trivial task if your site is built correctly.

EastSide,
Too many options over complicate the search process? I disagree, as it has been very positive on other sites (yes, I spend time on other sites, not just swinging sites either). The time spent trying to filter, then getting mis-match results, because we could not allow people to identify as they prefer? A good search would allow multiple filter on/off vs. not allowing the varied identities to even be shown. SLS will never be the haven to LGBTQIA+ nor Poly minded swingers as long as they only allow profiles listed as M/F couples and singles, but perhaps they do not have the interest in such support? It's a far better site than many others out there for making connections, and I wish my friends in the LGBTQIA+ and Poly worlds had better than what is out there under some rather false pretenses.

I know it would be a big lift to change partner settings as the way the database is likely set up in the back ground, and having more than two would be a full rework, but I feel having better filters, dependent on better identity selections, should be an easy step in the right direction.

What proves it to me that the site is not LQBTQIA+ allied is the inability to have a same sex couple profile. Sure, those are rare, but they do exist.

It just proved what I have been saying for years. This community is not actually LBGTQIA+ allied at all.

CurEUS_Cpl,
Have you considered that too many options will over complicate the search process by creating hyper specific searches, resulting in few to no matches? It also does not reflect the fluidity and situational aspect of sexuality making it difficult for people to correctly identify themselves or what they are looking for. We cannot even get people to accurately record something as simple as their age.

OMG... Pass The Popcorn!

So here are some reasons for alternate labels. I hope you accept this as an alternative viewpoint and not a personal attack.

Asexual - yes, some people do not have the "drive" for sexual experiences, and yet they may be here as part of a couple/throuple/polycule.
Fluidity is a thing, for both men and women, and those that fall outside the old-school binary. This is real stuff in this enlightened age of sexuality. A woman that was straight 20 years ago, may actually relate to asexual now. As lifetime members, perhaps the ability to still be part of the community means something, and yet admins take offence to someone stating "my wife is not currently playing", relegating that couple to "single male" status with no recourse to have a couples lifetime membership reflect a couple, even when one partner is either taking a break or changed sexual orientation. It's a matter of community.

Bi-situational, in place of any other Bi or Bicurious label would be erasure if the existing preferred orientations are swapped out - those straight men looking for MM contact would be furious if the Straight orientation was changed out for anything not-straight...

The ever increasing LGBTQ+ community is a part of the swinging community, and the management here should recognize that. I spent years as management pre-retirement, and got involved with our corporate DE&I efforts to ensure everyone had the ability to be their full selves in the environment at work. I would suggest management here take that same consideration, to allow people to reflect who they truly are, bringing their full selves to play.

As for the complexity of labels, if this is built on a 'typical' data base, the field values should be a simple ENUM table listing options, where new options can be added. Restriction of options will only cause the feeling that some are lying, whereas it is the lack of identifiers that causes the issue to begin with.
Those reading this far may say "read the profile", and yet we all know there are so many that never read, and just click pictures they like to try and get some sex. We wont be changing that any time soon, but the site could take the high road to allow everyone the ability to express themselves at the onset.

" If you are asexual, why would you be using a site that intended for use to meet others for sex? "

I don't think the intended use is the only reason people use this or any other similar site. There are plenty that just enjoy being a part of this type of lifestyle...others are just voyeuristic, physically unable, etc.

There is a lot more to this than just sex.

Ahhh....this is where his rant in another thread came from.

Speaking for all bi women everywhere (because I appointed myself queen), "bi-situational" describes something that has everything to do with activity and nothing whatsoever to do with sexual orientation and is therefore not BI ERASURE.

Esperanza won't see this, like they won't see the suggestion, because they block or have been blocked by many regular posters. But whether they see it or not, their notions are on the fringe for the queer community and not even in the right neighborhood for the lifestyle.

<p><a href="https://www.swinglifestyle.com/profile/lookup.cfm?usercode=62678770">Esperanza911</a>,</p>

<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">your personal opinions should have NOTHING to do with making this site make sense for people in the lifestyle."</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">In this matter, my opinions are based on working here for over 20 years and listening to what all of you have to say. And I don't have final say. Multiple staff members and the site owner are involved in making decisions on the direction of the company. I'm just the one that generally responds to you here in the Forums. </span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">"</span><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">And BI SITUATIONAL IS BI ERASURE. Fuck this app for encouraging that fuckery."</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Another member (fellow swinger) made that suggestion.</span></p>

<p> </p>

Holy fuck Wayne, your personal opinions should have NOTHING to do with making this site make sense for people in the lifestyle. Isn't it bad enough the lifestyle is loaded with unethical liars and y'all allow it? The least you can do is provide actual labels actually applicable to real people in the lifestyle.

And BI SITUATIONAL IS BI ERASURE. Fuck this app for encouraging that fuckery.

"If you are asexual, why would you be using a site that intended for use to meet others for sex?"

We're new to this asexual thing, try asking the people on the other website that have listed as asexual.

Donkey fuckers and Str8 SMs who are insistent on meeting the guy half for M-M sex when we indicate the M half here is Str8 are why we've decided another label might be more appropriate. Not necessarily accurate, but appropriate- so they might understand why we don't respond or block them.

<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Gee, thanks. I think we just became asexual."</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">Actually, "asexual" was an orientation selection on another site I checked. I don't really understand that one. If you are asexual, why would you be using a site that intended for use to meet others for sex?</span></p>

Gee, thanks. I think we just became asexual.

<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">56? WTF? Is that Ma and Pa Kettle math again?"</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I just checked that site again. They have gotten rid of the 56 item list. Now you just select "Other" and can apparently enter any text string.</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:open sans,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I tested it for you Goodenuff, you can set it to "Donkey fuckers".</span></p>

"...56 orientation options..."

56? WTF? Is that Ma and Pa Kettle math again?

Donkey fuckers shouldn't be option- especially if they're seeking underage donkeys.

I admit I'm not sure what the age of consent for a donkey is,

<p>"<span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">I would think that a very simple improvement would be to just change the word "bi-curious" to something like "bi-situational". It's just a word change so would involve very minimal code changes and would be more applicable, since a truly "bi-curious" person could also be considered bi-situational."</span></p>

<p><span style="color:rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family:tahoma,verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:14px">That sounds like a good idea. It would be an easy update. We have considered other options as well, but we like to keep things simple. I checked some other sites and one had 56 orientation options!! And many of those options are not well-defined terms. </span></p>

"... whatever flavor of bi someone uses as a category will still require one to read a profile to see exactly what that means."

This is the key.

Whatever label people choose to slap on themselves has never been an issue for us.

A little communication always takes care of any questions we have.

I would think that a very simple improvement would be to just change the word "bi-curious" to something like "bi-situational". It's just a word change so would involve very minimal code changes and would be more applicable, since a truly "bi-curious" person could also be considered bi-situational.

Both words imply that they are willing to consider bi play under certain circumstances, but bi-situational gets past the whole "no longer curious" thing once someone has some experience with bi play. Bi curious also implies that one is actively looking for bi play and bi-situational does not.

In the grand scheme of things, most probably consider that bi-curious = bi-situational here on SLS anyway. Regardless, whatever flavor of bi someone uses as a category will still require one to read a profile to see exactly what that means.

Pansexual sapiosexual and other or even blank would be nice to have.
Also would be nice to allow FF and MM Couples to have accurate account settings.

The lack of same sex couples is unbelievable to me and sends a message that gay people aren't allowed on SLS.

How much money would it cost? I thought they had a coding team already. I do get some of their hesitation with making changes. If there are too many inputs when searching, finding each other can be more difficult because the searches become too specific. It is a challenge, but I do not think it is an unsolvable challenge.

As a side note, I'm not sure where JUDGEMENTAL ASSHOLE falls in the spectrum....

I'm just sayin'