We have cooties!!!

We've had similar issues, it seems no matter what kind of content or lack thereof we post we're ghosted or just flat out ignored. This site can be terribly frustrating.

You're looking for couples, so in a head to head contest, your wife's boobs. The profile text has more to do with quality than quantity. Way more.

Thank you all for your replies. We just got back from Desire RM where we did a photo shoot. Lots of exciting sexy pictures that would really help our profile... but, what fun would that be? Since this profile wasn't doing anything for us, how about an experiment? We created another profile where we put all the new pics. To keep the variables to a minimum, the profile content is similar. Not the same, but same concepts, more or less.

The profile has been on for less than a day, and we got 15 new messages. But that's probably "fresh meat" effect, and the fact that we are popping up on New Matches feed for many people.
The real test will be if we begin getting messages from people who ignored or rejected ours. We aren't reaching out to anyone yet, just waiting to see what happens.

It'll be interesting to see if the profile text content actually makes a difference. A well-written profile with vanilla pics, or sexy pics and a barely literate write-up.... I wonder which will put better, my eloquence or my wife's boobs...

Kinkiez has been in the life style for only one year. They probably are having an average swap life. It's takes up a lot of time trying to meet couples. Hell, one must send out 10 messages just to get 1 or 2 replies. Go to 3 or 4 LS parties a month. Meet for drinks just to find out that they don't look like their pictures. It's too much work we gave up on it and now we just go to LS parties when we can.

Wow... LOL

"Maybe people should stop trying to attach labels to everyone else."

Maybe people that constantly tell other people to stop doing things should grip their cheeks, pull apart slightly and jump up their own ass.

"Maybe people should stop trying to attach labels to everyone else."

Maybe people that constantly tell other people to stop doing things should grip their cheeks, pull apart slightly and jump up their own ass.

On the smoking thing. An occasional cigar won't lead to you smelling like smoke unless you smoke it right before you meet.

"Definitively 'Bi'? You'll get different answers on that one too. But you definitely aren't 100% straight."

Most people from outside the lifestyle would consider many common lifestyle activities to be far less than 100% straight.

Participating in MFM, DP, DVP, etc.... Technically speaking you're participating in sexual activity with the same sex.

Maybe people should stop trying to attach labels to everyone else.

it certainly doesn't make you "bi curious" if you went all the way with them.

Definitively 'Bi'? You'll get different answers on that one too. But you definitely aren't 100% straight.

Regarding the smoking thing. You might not be "sucking down cigarettes at lunch" as you wrote but if you enjoy stogies and cigarellos, that's still smoking and many non smokers (we'll include us) don't want to be around the smell, bad breath, etc., that smoking tends to produce. It's not the sole reason people won't respond to you but it would be ONE reason why they may not.

Good luck in the quest.

thank you all for your replies.
In response to the bi question - we are basically straight but played with a bi/bi couple recently at Desire and went all the way in all the ways with them. Does that make us bi? Probably not, definitely peaked our curiosity. So probably should be bi-curious at this point, but it's a spectrum...

I agree that we need better and sexier pics. We travel all the over world, and have thousands and thousands of photos, but most of our pics are with kids and not very sexy... Hard to look hot hiking the Himalayas :) We hope to add many more revealing pics from our trip to Desire RM next weekend.

We do try to tailor the message to the profile... we aren't picky about reaching out but definitely selective with whom we meet. Well written profiles are what we respond to best, and try to mirror that in our messages.

Hopefully we'll get more action at Desire and get people to cert us for added credibility... and more revealing pics for greater appeal. Maybe that will move the needle?

Now look at cacpl 26's profile picture. WOW now that will get some attention. That is one sexy picture.

Their profile states that they are straight, but in the profile they are bi comfortable. So what exactly is bi comfortable to most folks. Are they saying that we are not bi but it's okay if the other couple is? We met a couple where both were bi. We told them that we didn't have a problem with that, but I "the man" am not bi and don't have any interest in a man. So I guess I would say, I am comfortable with a bi man with my wife. As long as I get his wife in my bed and he stay over on their bed. I don't know what their definition of bi comfortable is? Oh but I would recommend some sexy pictures. I like to see a sexy lady in her panties. That always get my attention.

The OP's profile says they're both bi comfortable but prefer the opposite sex. It says that now and when I read their profile a few days ago. I'm pretty sure they have been listed as straight and straight the whole time.

Oh....and just a tip. Introductory IMs that just say we liked your profile will work for some. Others will assume you didn't read their profile and blow you off (not in the good way) unless you include something that shows you read their profile.

So we suggest making each introductory IM specific to the couple you're reaching out to. Will appease those who want to know you really read the profile and doesn't offend those who don't care if you read it or not.

Hope that helps.

If you're looking for a silver bullet we hate to disappoint you - there isn't one.

Folks pass you by for a variety of reasons. Each as unique as the person or couple looking at your profile. Looks, age, smoking, drinking, an innocent word in your profile - who knows.

Bottom line is don't get frustrated and don't compromise who you are or what you're looking for.

Others have suggested getting out to parties, clubs etc. That's certainly a good way to meet more folks and help to get past the shallowness of online profiles. Check out what's happening near you in the hot dates/event section and give a couple a whirl with zero expectations.

That's our advice.

DNLB, I caught that as well. He must have changed it..

We have have been in the life style for 6 years. We have swapped with 5 different couples. We don't normally do singles. It's been hard to meet couples where all 4 connect. We send out 5 to 10 messages and get back 1 or 2. We found that a lot of couples was the lady to be bi. We live here in the south and some don't like us because we are an interracial couple. We had a couple tell us that we look to young and the lady likes older men. These days we just go out to the SLS parties and have fun with each other. Funny 4 or 5 years ago people was talking with us and inviting us to their parties. Within the last 2 or 3 years we been getting a lot of hate looks, and not invited to as many LS parties. Not sure what change. But that's ok we still meet nice folks. I think it hard for all of us to meet couples and connect. Think back to when you was single. It's hard for 2 people to connect now 4 has to connect. Sorry can't help out. Just go have fun at the LS events. A sexy smile from the lady makes it easy for us to go chat with another couple. No smiling, no eye contact we stay put.

Hot luvrs : I met your response to the OP, you mentioned bi males, But they show as him being straight?

DNLB,

Nope. Never was bi. We’ve changed my wife’s descriptor a few times since her preferences are harder to nail down.

Reading through the thread, I noticed hot lovers response and it made me wonder-did you change your preference from bi to Straight in an attempt to get more interest?

"We hooked up the old way - met at a party in college..."

Perhaps you've just stumbled upon the answer. Get out to some local events, clubs or meet & greets. Even if you don't play with anyone, ask a couple to provide a certified which just verified you are "real" and they met you both. Not everyone agrees with the cert thing but we believe it will help establish some credibility when you message others.

Since you like to travel, feel free to add New Orleans to your list of destinations, we would be happy to certify you. ;^D

Thank you all for your suggestions. We started dating in pre- match/tinder/bumble/jdate times, so this new internet thing is a little alien to us :) We hooked up the old way - met at a party in college, got drunk, and by the time (we sobered up a couple of years later) found out we were madly in love with other. My newly divorced friend is killing it at online dating, maybe we should take some lessons :)

Thank you all for your help.

A lot of good suggestions here. We joined 8 months ago and have learned that it is work meeting people. I can only add to not get discouraged. Of 5 introductory messages we send out, we're lucky to get one response. Then of the responses we get back, I'd estimate 1 out of 7 leads to an actual get together.
But once you starting meeting folks and attend parties you'll find your circle of LS friends begins to grow.

One more thing... Despite the new IM sucking (and not in a good way) try to stand out with your intro email, comment on specific things in there profile and things you have in common, and always have a face pic open.

Good luck

M

The whole no interest but not blocked thing? Yeah, that has never worked. The only way not to block someone is to show a sliver of interest.