Photos matter! Plus showing you read the couple's profile matters a lot. For example our preference is for cut cocks and we get a lot of guys answering our profile who are uncut, ugh. Maybe SLS should add additional filters based on body type and cocks, LOL.
Also, PHOTOS MATTER! A lot of guys just can't take a selfie properly or just shows laziness which is sad as it works against them badly. Cognitive dissonance people!!
I don't think there is a one size fits all formula to most things that are as dynamic and ever changing as "swinging" and play. Just be authentic and honest. I've been in this long enough that I know random/meaningless encounters aren't for me, although they can be fun and exciting.
I truly seek out friendship, something people say but don't really exhibit in many cases. Don't focus so much on play. Just enjoy the experience of getting to know someone and having a good time doing whatever you all decide to do. Good energy during those first in person hellos can go a long way. Not putting so much focus on play takes the edge off. I just like to meet folks who share similar interest and let the rest happen organically.
It's not just black cocks either. This attitude sucks from ANY guy who thinks he's God's gift to woman because of the size of his cock. Color just adds another dimension.
I really have nothing to add to this thread but had to give a shoutout to @EdandBritney for that "bbc"/"CNN" exchange. Classic!
We got one the other day, and I quote..."How’s goin I’m defn interested you like bbc"
I mean of course youre interested or you wouldnt be messaging ... I told him "Im more of a CNN kind of girl" and he replied with a "What's that?" ... guess he didnt get the joke.
I guess another guy who thinks all he has to do is mention how big & black his cock is and the ladies will swoon over him.... We cant stand the the whole BBC thing, big pet peeve of ours.
~Britney~
I was planning to tell her that I wouldn’t be! No over-fingering!
BT
Try telling her that she's been a bit hard on the Beaver.
Oh, if it were as easy as a Joey Tribiani raised eyebrow and a How YOU Doin’’?, every SM could claim they’re successful.
I think it would be fun to give the ol’ Gee, Mrs. Cleaver, that’s a lovely dress you’re wearing role play a shot ... if I could find a willing Mrs. Cleaver, but I digress...
Deep thoughts for an under-caffeinated Tuesday morning,
BT
Single male reaches out in PM.
Single male has no photos, lack of profile info, and has a really lame intro.
A polite no, and constructive feedback are given to said single male, which seemed to result in a positive way at first.
Single male continues to message. Once every week or so. Despite no response.
Single male's last message, before blocking him was: "She is so amazing! Do you share her? Does she let you eat her ***?
Don't be that single male.
Dear Men, If you do not have a decently worded profile with at least some kind of brief bio and and what your into sexually don't bother. Also this is an adult site if you can't included some decent CLEAR photos including your face don't bother. If you have to be that concerned with privacy your probably not suited for this lifestyle. Everybody have a GREAT New Year!
Hotluv - I have to agree completely.
In fact if Mex opened his private gallery to me I doubt I’d look. His 2 public pictures are of his dick which tells me that’s probably all he thinks with. I have little interest in a guy mostly looking to “get his”.
~rabbit~
Hung,
That approach would not work with us. We don’t normally look for single guys, but if we were looking, your approach would be a bit of a turn off.
If a couple is looking for single guys, there is no problem sending a short and polite note stating your interest.
Opening your gallery pictures without also sending a note comes across as a little creepy, especially if your gallery includes any dick pics.
Honestly man, I usually try not to initiate conversation. I'll view the profiles that interest me and open my private gallery, if they're interested they'll message me first. If I'm interested I'm sure there's 15 other single males interested. I do not want to bombard the couple or female with another message.
We have found that 90% of the time if we contact a single male that it may take several hours up to days for him to reply . Which is fine as people do other things than sit looking at a computer. Yet when said male replies .. They expect us to reply right back . And if you dont see it for 20mins or a few hours. Then you get a bunch of lip about how we are not interested or wasting his time or that he is being played. So we block him and move on . The successful male doesnt bring this type of attitude into the life style . They bring concern for the lady and her mate to the table .She has walked away cut off contact with a male and will again due to their downing her or me . This isnt true of all single males by no means . But the ones that do act like this make it harder for the ones that do show respect and understand that there is life other than playing with them .
Dude, I opened your gallery and the first fucking thing I saw was your dick. I might answer an initial contact like yours with a single word answer, but I wouldn't be interested, because you don't know enough to craft an approach that will get me talking.
Apparently you never had teenagers. "How was school?" "Fine." "What did you do in x class today?" or any leading question generally gets a better answer. Same with strangers on the interwebs.
But your damn dick is showing in your public gallery, so it wouldn't matter what you wrote, you wouldn't be getting a response from me.
Lobo, exactly what Phoebert said. When we had email we responded to every message, including lame one liners like yours. You would have gotten a “thanks but no thanks reply”
Now, with messenger, since we don’t have an auto reply option we don’t reply at all. We even say so in our profile. Soon, people that send one liners will likely get an immediate block since we are tired of a cluttered inbox and with no history linked to a profile we haven’t been deleting messages.
You can’t approach this like a bar. It’s a fishing hole. You are dropping your hook in with no attractive bait. Each message mush be tailored to fit the person/people. You need to be personable, witty and a sense of humor helps. Without that no one will take your bait.
Btw, your profile name and pictures are not helping you.
~rabbit ~
69lobo69 if I got your IM and it was a basic hello I might not answer either. You didn't give me any incentive to answer in all honesty.
What am I looking for? Someone that says they noticed my profile and then proves they read it by mentioning something specific and how they fit with what I am looking for. A few comments about them and a picture if there isn't one in their profile that is open.
I just got that exact type of message this weekend along with several others that were not at all similar. I continued contact only with him.....the others got nothing or a no thanks.
69lobo - Online contacts are very different that in-person ones. Many couples prefer a message that gives at least a hint that you've read their profile. Your opening line appears to be a cookie cutter message that you send to everyone and anyone. It would work in person because there is no expectation that you know anything about the other person.
There is a reason we suggest Description include more vanilla things than sexy when reviewing a profile. It gives people a way to decide if you have things in common and makes it possible to create an individualized initial message. Some of the best first messages we've received have commented on our RV trip.
So while being respectful and polite in your initial message is great, you also have to make it individualized based on what you've read in their profile (or forum posts).
Good luck and have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
I'm also trying to learn something on this topic. I too am a SM and have been on here a while (using the old email system). So initial contact using IM. I try to approach this as if I were introducing myself to someone in a bar or park. I usually will say "Hello, I'm Doug. How's your weekend/day going?" Crickets. I have been told my one liner is rude (I do not send to profiles that say they are not looking for SM's). I understand that telling a little about myself is ideal which is what made shooting a bird great. In other words, I would never walk up to someone, stick out my hand and roll out a 5-6 sentence greeting. So what is expected with IM?
Ah that makes perfect sense. I will be sure and ask before posting about a meetup.
We agree. Sharing a story without names is not strictly against any rule - written or unwritten.
But it can lead some to question your discretion. Which is not what you want. Especially in a first impression.
"I didn’t realize it was against protocol sharing stories without names."
It's not, at least not in our mind. Apparently others may feel different.
Hi All,
Thank you all for your replies! It’s good to hear that being a gentleman with a vanilla approach will make you stand out. I will be sure and use what advice you gave me. I actually got a reply :)
I went ahead and cropped my photos and edited my Fantasy section (waiting for the staff to review). I didn’t realize it was against protocol sharing stories without names. Side note, those pics are mine and the story was a real experience that happened. No plagiarism here haha
Thanks again.
Mark
Your private photos are open to us. They're good. Whatever you do, don't ever add any nudes to that gallery. If you ever decide to add nudes, make another private gallery for nudes and only open them if asked.
One of my biggest pet peeves with messages is people who copy and paste them. It doesn't take much time to send something original.
If the couple you met is from this site, have them certify you. Also, unless you have their permission I would probably keep the details of your date to yourself.
I'm going to agree with the others - a short, well written IM that mentions how you fit what we're looking for would at least get me to look at your profile. Your profile and pictures are pretty good, although I'd maybe eliminate some of the detail in Experience, add some more vanilla info in Description and crop picture #1 to eliminate the person behind you on the left.
Good luck & have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
