We play in the same room only. We enjoy watching each other with the other person. Not to say we wouldn't ever play in separate rooms with our current friends it they wanted to, but would never do separate rooms for the first time with someone. I want to make sure my wife is treated properly.
we second Jim's post -- and will add a couple of thoughts. We often start with same room soft play to kind of set the scene and get comfy, but split when intercourse appears imminent, because 1) the wife is not a voyeur. She is "in the moment" with her partner and doesn't care to watch me and mine. 2) I find it very difficult to give full attention to my partner -- which I think she deserves -- if my wife is also active in the same room (although we sometimes do cross-hall open door play). 3) If we want to view sex as a spectator sport we will rent a porn flick. 4) Yes, we have done same room stuff when another couple wasn't comfortable doing separate, but frankly, we have found (in our long experience) that most mature cpls really prefer separate in any case, so it is seldom an issue.
Welcome to the forums, mcor. But wow, that was a post that reveals extreme mistrust. I doubt that is an issue for very many swingers. Swinging couples who don't trust each other won't make it very long in swinging, and probably not in their relationships, either.
People have all sorts of preferences that stem from all sorts of motivations. It depends on so many different variables that it's folly to generalize. In our case, for example, my wife just won't have an orgasm if there are others in the room whose sounds and actions are distracting to her. It has nothing whatsoever to do with trying to be sneaky about what we do. We also long ago gave up having "rules." We trust each other completely, so we know we're going home to our normal, routine, regular life no matter what we do with whom while swinging. What matters is our relationship, not whether she or I do something we usually don't when swinging. Swinging is all about novel experiences, and if two people decide mutually that it would be fun to do something, then go for it! Swinging is freedom, not chains that restrict what you do. As long as I know she's going home with me, and WANTS to go home with me, why should I care if she wants to do something in another room that gives her more excitement and/or pleasure? It doesn't hurt me, and besides, it only enhances the bond between us because of the gratitude we feel that we give each other the freedom to find maximum pleasure in a swinging experience.
Always remember that every individual has a different life experience and a different relationship and different preferences. Nobody's preferences are the "right" way or the "wrong" way. Just different. And Viva La Difference! If everybody were the same, we'd have quit swinging shortly after we began.
So tolerance of others' preferences is appropriate, and intolerance is not. I do think, though, that if your insistence on same room play is because you don't trust each other enough to play out of each other's sight, then you have a lot bigger issues than just whether or not you play in the same room.
Jim
First, let me say that we're comfortable with either same-room or different-room playing...whatever everyone is happiest with. Having said that, we've found that different rooms, with the doors open so everyone can hear, can be highly erotic. It's also much less distracting, allowing us to focus our attention on whomever we're with. She's had instances where the M she's with would spend so much time watching his wife and I that she'd start feeling slighted. We recognize that not everyone shares our preferences and that, for some, it can be a security issue too. Not to make a bad pun (I'd Never do That <LOL>), but "Different strokes for different folks!"
To each their own, and you're right- some refuse separate room swap but we both just find it too distracting. It's the voyeur in each of us I guess.
We can play same or separate room but it has always been same room. Some folks won't do separate and we really don't care either way. Also I can't say there has ever been a distraction issue. To be honest I get into it to the point I forget to watch Wifey getting nailed!
There's an issue of safety in meeting the first time.
Then in the bedroom he gets turned on seeing/hearing her giving & receiving pleasure. She likes seeing him perform, pleasuring another woman (knowing what it feels like). And she has a bit of an exhibitionism thing so she likes being watched.
When we have established a relationship we've both played separately.
As a single, naturally there are three of us together. A good share of the time, I am with the wife and her husband is sitting back watching or naked on the bed with us watching. Also, a good share of the time the wife is using both of us, either singly or in tandem. Yow!! :-)
However, sometimes, the husband will stick around for a while and just leave us alone together and go watch tv or something. I personally find that to be strange and it makes me nervous. I enjoy being with the wife alone and I can be more intimate with her, but I feel like I am cheating with his wife, or something....I guess. Don't know where THAT feeling comes from, but I prefer us all three to be there.
@tomanddiane
What about the 3rd round? lol
Agree 4play, we've brought it up in other forums- finding 4 people who all "click" is nearly impossible.
our fav is separate room play but we wont turn away because someone wants to be different from us. I have to admit though separate room talk afterward is always freaking hot!
Lost we have been doing the singles for a while now, really hard to find 4 people that all have the same attraction! Oh and I prefer chocolate ice cream but would like to sample your strawberry. I will even let you have the nuts... :)
Those are some very neat ideas. I especially like that second round thing. One thing that we enjoy is the chat on the way home and the interesting pillow talk that we have after separate room play.
We play either way. Same or separate each have their good points. While it is a turn on to see your mate playing with someone else, it can be distracting too. Especially when playing with new playmates, separate rooms gives you the time to concentrate on getting to know a new partner. You can always hear whats going on in the other room and that can be a turn on as well. We often have a second round where we all get together after a break and then play in the same room/bed. We have no jealousy issues. Don't know if thats why some couples insist only on same room or not.
It's a matter of what your tastes are and what turns you on. Most people that we've met are into same-room sex...being that they feel a rush from sharing the experience together ( I suppose). We started playing separately and prefer it. I like being watched, but not distracted by others having sex. While I LOVE having my husband in the same room to watch if he's not playing I truly am not interested in seeing him with someone. My concern is that we all have a great experience.
my wife and i recently had our first experience with full swap.(3 days ago). we did separate rooms. i can't imagine the performance anxiety i would have had if my wife and him were in the room with us. i was so nervous. and it's not like I wasn't attracted to her. she was beautiful. i guess for me the foreplay could start in the same room and progress to separate rooms. i really can't say that i prefer separate because we haven't done same. maybe next time.
lost you are so cool :)
We're with you about the seperate room thing. If another couple is good with it then great, but if not we're totally fine with same room. Most of our evenings are a combination of the two anyway. We start off in seperate rooms so each half can go at their own pace, but after "round 1" we end up in the same room so we can enjoy seeing eachother have fun and/or mix it up a bit more. We love seeing eachother play, but like the "go at your own pace" aspect of seperate rooms. Mrs.Catnip has found that other guys have fewer "issues" getting their stuff to work if they are just in a room with her as well - they relax better. Not that guys stop worrying about their wives just because they aren't in a room, but they seem to worry less and let themselves "be in the moment". We talked about this in another thread too, but fact is that in seperate rooms you can more easily have one couple spend an hour doing foreplay while the other half jumps in within 5 minutes, lasts 10 minutes, and then chats for a while... same room we find people tend to try to align themselves to what the other half is doing rather than just doing their own thing. Again, we love same room stuff, but like being able to do what comes naturally in the 1-on-1 connection too.
Yeah, I mean we are cool with whatever......usually if the other couple is same room its not like we are like fuck that, we only do separate LOL. But if you ask us our preferred way, it is separate room. But its like ice cream, I prefer strawberry...but I won't say no to chocolate either LOL.
When I play as a couple, its always same room.
Agreed. I'm greedy :0). Its why my husband and I have started discussing singles again lol.
It can be alot of fun same rm or same bed and yes she can be BI but not her preference and never try with str8 females but like the post said its all about preferences and of course what we insist on is respecting everyone limits and boundaries.
We like both if comfy depends on the other cpl. What we found out with same room is some cpls are so obsessed with watching each other its like having an audience or even worse they forget the other person and just watch. If its same rm and its a glance here and there or all same bed OK with us but if its all about watching then no thanks.
For us it's a matter of trust with the other cpl, and what all agree on beforehand. We find both have there own advantages. Yes, it certainly is a turn on at times to watch, hear and feel others on the same bed. But fully understand for some it can be a distraction. Also having your partner tell you about a separate room experience afterwards can be hot for us. We must just be to easy...lol
love how people say in the same breath, "I don't understand how...." and "we do it this way...."
is it that difficult to understand that people have a dfferent take on a situation than you......?
Separate room is all about preference and what the person or couple enjoys. Just like some people are bi and some ladies enjoy anal sex and some don’t. I happen to like anal sometimes, but I don’t watch TV during sex, but sounds like some of you might…lol..
Have found separate room with the right couple to be fun and exciting when planned.
we play with only one couple that insists on same room, have known them a long time, and they just want to watch each other fuck, and ..........ok with me, since we can join in if we want, otherwize, we love seperate rooms, wife really likes to do her own thing, biggbill
