Hi everyone, Were a same room full swap couple., This past week we spent a week with our couple partners in an Airbnb in South Florida. We started off same room for our first romp which is so enjoyable to all of us but master bedroom in the home we had rented was hot due to all the sexy activity in that king sized bed. After everyone was satisfied, we headed to the pool for a little skinny dipping and more sexy activities. . Later we all agreed to go play in separate near by bedrooms , door open because of the temperature in the master. We had the ac on 65 and fans on high but it wasn't enough. It was actually pretty arousing still being able to hearing your spouse moaning in ecstasy and we would stop, laugh and yell out to them and them to us. It was our way to check in with each other which we always do anyway. It turned out to be a fabulous week. I believe it is the trust that we have established with the other couple. If were playing with someone new, it would be same room only until we establish this level of trust. as i am responsible for the welfare of my beautiful wife. If were in a hotel, we'd rent a double queen room or a king suite so everyone had room to play. We agree it is personal preference and in our case, its the level of trust that governs our same room boundaries .
Full Swapping in separate rooms
Mayhem - completely agree and thanks for the guidance! 2 posts to delete lol
owcangrace - Sometimes what works better for others winds up working better for you. If the guy performs better in a separate room from where his SO is playing, it allows the Mrs to have a much better time, and that means we all have a much better time. It's hot for me to hear the Mrs and imagine what she is doing. Most times I can tell by her happy sounds exactly what she is doing, and imagination can easily be just as hot as seeing it.
BTW - You can delete any of your own dup posts if you like by clicking on the Del Post at the bottom of your post.
We adore each other and love fucking each other. We also like fucking other people. We tend to focus on those new partners and only keep track of each other for safety sake. Ao for the reasons mentioned where separate rooms cures nerves and make a better experience for both, we like it. Hell less distractions is nice also. Not to be argumentative but why not get absorbed into a new and pleasurable experience. Why not give your spouse that room to have their experience without you? Not to suggest our way is better than those who like to stay connected. By no means, I am suggesting people and likes are what works for you two.
on the performance issue, I have never had a problem but a couple of years ago I got viagra for playtime. it doesn't just guarantee there's not a complete failure - which i don't think I have to worry about, but you never know - but for me it guarantees round two: at least a good solid second post-ejaculation hard on, often coming a second time. and that second one won't fade for a long time, come or not. guaranteed 2-4 hours of solid hard on. truly a miracle drug. easily available. no reason not to use it.
We have been fortunate enough to be trusted by a number of newbies to be their first ever full swap. It is a fairly common occurance that the male has performance issues the first time, but generally first time couples not only want to be in the same room, they require it. The weird part is that you may not consciously feel nervous. I know I didn't, but things still weren't working.
Another thing I've learned and is it may be worth discussing this up front. A number of women would rather forego getting licked if doing otherwise means there's a risk of the guy not being able to stay hard when the time comes. I totally get how a guy wants to reciprocate if the woman just gave them a BJ. A couple options are that you can either do oral on her after, or you do that BEFORE she performs oral on you. That way she doesn't feel like it was one-sided for oral play.
Also, if you plan to use condoms, have one handy and ready to go. In most cases, once you get in there and going you'll be all set. It's just staying hard long enough to get to that point. Walking around looking for a condom, lube, a towel, or whatever are all opportunities to go soft and not recover. If you just never got hard in the first place, that's where Viagra can help and/or consider separate room play if it's an option.
Lastly, we are starting to learn to be more vocal about how play goes. If we're same room and I look over and see the guy is hard, I'll literally suggest he put a wrapper on it and give the Mrs what she's looking forward to. We have found that, for whatever reason, if I start fucking first it increases the odds dramatically that the other guy won't be able to get/stay hard.
Thanks for the feedback. It helps to know that what happened to me isn’t that uncommon. I’ll definitely keep the separate room option in mind the next time. I managed to satisfy my partner orally but still felt like I had let her down. Live and learn ! Lol
@Mayhem: Never hurts to have an insurance policy as "Stage Fright" happens to the male 1/2 of couples at times especially with same room. Diane has had to take the male 1/2 of a couple to a separate room to get him relaxed & going more than once. That's why we're fine with either same or separate room but usually prefer separate room with a new couple for the first time or first round of play as a warm up. :D
I had never had performance issues until we got into the LS. I found early on that generic Viagra is super cheap and works well on/for me. I only ever take it when we plan to play. If you Google "Sildenifil" or the brand I've specifically used "Suhagra", you'll likely find a number of places where no prescription is required for cheap $$.
I order the 100 mg pills and take half of one about an hour before we think we're going to play. Some people prefer Cialis. Another consideration.
Fascinating discussion. My partner and I are pretty new to this and just recently had our first full swap experience and it was same room. It was definitely a big turn on seeing her with the other guy but I did have some performance issues which really surprised me. I still think we’ll prefer same room in the future but I have a better understanding of the attractions of separate room now. Thanks to you all !
that7girl..would love to carry on our chat
"sneaky stabbin' cabin" -- love it!
Great story, Someonescoming. :)
We had a situation like that. Our friends live about 15 minutes away and like us have a house on the Central Coast. At their primary home, we would set up a video camera in the hall to be ready in case their kids got up. At the coast, we would switch rooms, and wanted to switch homes at one point but it never worked out. We have a nice travel trailer on the side of our house, and that's become our latest sneaky stabbin cabin. Kids go to bed, and she goes out there with him, or vice-versa. Surprisingly comfy and convenient despite that sounding a bit country lol.
We mostly do hallpass due to schedules. We have small kids, and it's never easy finding child care. But we also find separate to be less distracting in a simple couples swap situation. Of course, there are things we like that you need to be in the same room for (like DP, DVP) so we do same room for things like that. Early in our swinglife we felt we needed to be there to see the other having fun, but now we get nearly just as much enjoyment out of talking about it (and sometimes exchanging photos and videos) afterward. It's really no big deal for us.
We have swapped both ways both are fun. Same room is hot to watch each other and separate is nice w8a couple you know.
Yes, I was taught that it's part of LS etiquette to be available to the hostess for playtime. :-)
Waupaca wrote:
“ Also we have been attending house parties. We might make it a point to play with the host and hostess.”
Yes! Excellent idea, it’s only polite. You should all make resolutions to play with the host and hostess at house parties.
Note to self: host more parties...
As we continue to explore the lifestyle our preferences also change. We have recently played all in the same bed very comfortably, and had a great time. Made some new friends, tried a few new adventures, got worn out. lol We would only suggest keeping an open mind, need good communication between you and your partner. Remember each swap is a learning experience as well as great sex. We like to come home and talk about the encounter, compare notes, and incorporate something we learned from each meeting. ALSO remember to text the couple and tell them you had a great time. We have made it a point to let the other couple know we had fun. Also we have been attending house parties. We might make it a point to play with the host and hostess. We also follow up with a text thank you for the great party. My point in all this is there is more to this lifestyle than sex. There are a lot of fun aspects to this lifestyle. One more thought. We do this also with the idea of making it fun for the other couple. Drop us a bird let's chat, compare notes or leave your comments. M & J in Leesburg
That DNLB is exactly why I made my previous post, some just can't get over the fact that everyone doesn't think like they do. Discussion is great if done with an open mind but only becomes argumentative when not. And don't try to convince me otherwise dammit.
Don't try to put everyone in a box.
Why can't we do same house, different room on alternate days and if there's an albino involved we all gotta be in the same bathtub if we want without someone accusing us of insecurities or wife-stealing?
FFS, get over it, whatever it was.
And some couples just find it sexy as hell to recap their individual experiences when they get home leading to some mind blowing sex with your spouse.
Just sayin'.........
For us we wont go there. yet. We do same room for our mutual enjoyment watching each other with others, sharing the experiences with each other and for our own security and peace of mind. I think if we found another couple we developed a relationship with establishing a comfort level it might be nice to date her husband and return home to my husband and the same with her and my husband. Yet given the risks involved we prefer to be together to fully experience things together as we are there for each other.
Going back to "Come on people just accept that we as humans are all different from each other in some way or another and enjoy the variety.
We can explain our preferences until we're blue in the face …(or in my case the entire body)… but generally if someone is of a different opinion they will only hear what they want to hear."
As a couple we have evolved as most people have, it wasn't that long ago that we wouldn't have considered different rooms or lots of things that now don't even raise an eyebrow. Sometimes people chat, discuss, debate and argue to learn and consider other views as well as justify their opinion. Without interacting with people who think differently how are we to expect anything to change?
Don't try to put everyone in a box.
There will always be the "salesman" who wants to convince you that their way is the right way, but there are plenty who read these forums and gain ideas, whether they actually post or not. The numbers of viewers vs posters are exponential.
I believe if there was less of the attacking anyone who expresses a different view you would see a LOT more people asking questions, but they let the keyboard warriors keep them from commenting.
Mayhem,
I may have asked a rhetorical question in reply:
"How can you let your wife fuck only the same man over & over?"
Rhetorical - (of a question) asked in order to produce an effect or to make a statement rather than to elicit information.
A vanilla couple we know found out we were swingers. One night at a bar we were both at, the male half of this couple asked me, "How can you let another man fuck your wife?" That was also a rhetorical question. It didn't matter what I said because, in their mind, there was no justification for what we were doing.
In most (if not all) cases, it's a waste of breath (or keystrokes) trying to answer rhetorical questions.