Single guys

“ I have never actually seen the appeal for single men to be here.”

That has been clear based on your posting history.

If you would like an answer, peruse the multiple threads that address the joys of MFM. Just because it isn’t something you would enjoy doesn’t mean there aren’t literally thousands of couples who do. And while there are a large number of guys who don’t get it and aren’t successful, those of us who embraced that dynamic had a lot of fun and made a lot of fantasies come true, for the couples and ourselves.

~Scamp

"BTW GGMM, though we probably aren't going to change each other's views on this, I do appreciate the civility of our back and forth."

No, probably not, but that's not really the point of conversation, at least not for me. Thanks for bouncing ideas around with me.

OH,

I agree single guys are probably better served pursuing sexual relationships in other venues than SLS for reasons beyond it being an unstable platform.

I've made similar arguments in other threads. I have never actually seen the appeal for single men to be here.

For instance, a (single) female buddy of ours showed us her message notifications. It totalled something near 200. Why in the world would you want to have to stand out in a pool of 200 people? Why do you continuously punish yourself by sticking around?

BTW GGMM, though we probably aren't going to change each other's views on this, I do appreciate the civility of our back and forth.

Discussing actual points raised vs the typical shit slinging in these forums is refreshing. You are a good egg in my book

He is SOOOO easy.. doesnt realize laughing stock of SLS single guys top award whiner!

Pass The Popcorn!

OH2NY2NC2022 - to prove my point you have a picture of your wife with a black man hovering over her about to have his way with her. Unreal.

On top of being a clueless whiner, you are also a racist?

who posted that to you. I must have them blocked

“ Scamp - to prove my point you have a picture of your wife with a black man hovering over her about to have his way with her. Unreal.”

Tramp’s bad. “I withdraw my question, your honor.” It’s all crystal clear now! Carry on.

Tramp

Maybe it’s just me, and I freely admit that Trampy is more than a little slow, but...

Does this OP not beg the question as to why an “...intelligent[,] financially successful[,] high quality[,] physically good[-]looking[,] charming[,] and confident single [man],” would bother with all the swinging battles rather than just continue to immerse themselves in all the “...easy sex...” ?

As usual, ole Tramp is confused (more than a bit).

Tramp

This isn’t a bus station, no need to announce your departure.

To paraphrase a common saying, if 99% of the people you meet/observe are assholes, maybe it’s time to look in the mirror.

~Scamp

Would you like some cheese with that?

I think he's on his fourth account and I kinda remember him doing a delete and flounce more than once. Whatever. Guy has some issues.

"Assuming women have a numerical advantage on this site and within the lifestyle at large vs dating sites (btw Pew research data suggests usage rates at a ratio of about 1.44 men per woman), women would have even less incentive to initiate.

In other words, the reason women don't broadly initiate: they don't have to due to a plethora of pursuers, would be exacerbated."

It's a safe assumption that the ratio of men to women on SLS is greater than 1.44. I picked Washington DC as a large, active metro area and did a search. Within 25 miles, among those ages 18-99 with paid memberships who had been on within two weeks, there were 915 couples (trying 50 miles gave me 1000 which I'm guessing is SLS code for "too many to count"), 732 single men (ditto) and 98 single women.

Women don't have to broadly initiate - I don't - but the plethora of pursuers is invisible to many married/partnered women, because as I've pointed out, it's mostly their male counterparts who do the initial on line work of sifting messages and profiles. In person, it's different. I know I'm female and that skews the results, but I also watch and empowered, highly sexed women, when they aren't also violating my fucking boundaries, are a joy to behold. Because in safe settings, women initiate the hell out of things. Because they have lots of choices and one of us can wear out four or more of you without breaking a sweat.

On line, it's an advantage to be a genuinely nice guy that likes women (liking to fuck them is not at all the same thing), live in a tourist destination, have game, and not be part of the cookie cutter parade of half naked guys with bathroom selfies. Sure, it doesn't hurt to reach out sometimes, but once you have local friends you don't even need to do that except sometimes for the sake of variety. Women talk.

Don't celebrate just yet...He may re-appear! He has ghost and re-appear many times before in the past.
I think the best thing for all of us is just to ignore him and not respond to his post! It's no fun when no one
is responding to you!

He took his one ball and went somewhere else to play like the flake he is .

He did say in another forum that he was going to see about having his credit card company reverse the charges because the product doesn't work - perhaps he's gone again. Although when I didn't see any of his previous messages I checked to see if I was now blocked and I could still get to his profile.

Or he's taken a page from RonKathy's playbook and has started deleting his posts after a few days.

GGMM, I don't see how your argument makes much sense as a counter to my assertions that a) women broadly don't initiate b) a passive strategy is a bad idea because of a. If anything, you seem to be making my case for me.

Assuming women have a numerical advantage on this site and within the lifestyle at large vs dating sites (btw Pew research data suggests usage rates at a ratio of about 1.44 men per woman), women would have even less incentive to initiate.

In other words, the reason women don't broadly initiate: they don't have to due to a plethora of pursuers, would be exacerbated.

OH2 - Having worked in a motorcycle around bikers from all walks of life, I can tell you right here and now you don't know if you have anything in common with them unless you talk to them. Everyone from the stereotypical Hell's Angel wannabe to the real badass biker gang member to multimillionaires ride bikes.

As for the muscular couples, it doesn't hurt to reach out if you find you have something in common. Again, having worked with plenty of serious competitors, they are more than just muscles. I've worked with plenty of doctors that are competitive body builders. Usually, they are the most chill and open people you'll ever meet. They take it physical fitness very serious and it's a definite motivating factor, for me at least, to get my head back on straight and drop that COVID 50 I put on. And I am doing just that.

" A guy with a hot wife, dressed like bikers , are not going to give me the time of day. Muscular couples are going to do it either. "

There's your problem. You've made that reality come to life by having that mindset. You gave up before you even got to the field. Instead of complaining about other people not liking you, work on yourself so you come across as likable and not desperate.

@OH2

So you have come on here for months using multiple profiles whining that you have had no success. Several current and previously single guys have posted the method that they have used that has worked wonderfully for them but you insist that YOU have all the answers.

No wonder everyone has stopped trying to help you.

What do you call it when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?

~Scacmp

OH2NY,

Rest assured I've lost an inch behind belly fat since I started my profile.
That was a dozen yrs and 40 lbs ago....

I always sign my posts “Scamp” so not sure why you are addressing rabbit.

That said, I have given you advice several times and you have rejected or ignored it so I’m not going to waste any more keystrokes on you other than to say, make your profile about what you have to offer, not what you want.

I guess OEC tucked tail when he realized that his generalization was just plain wrong.

~Scamp

That's not how the forums work.

Also, everyone here is either a single male or dealt with one as a female, couple or party host or attendee.

OH2NY2NC - why is it always about you?

MsMolly is responding to others participating in this thread. She's blocked you (or you've blocked her) so neither of you can see the other's posts.

You might be seeing very little of the conversation depending on how many people have blocked you.

"If this forum wasn't nonfunctional, I'd link to analysis that pours through dating site data that shows women send less than 3 first messages (no indication of who they send those messages to was given). What I am saying is a broad phenomena."

This is not the telling argument you might think it is, unless those dating sites are swinger sites. This is a really interesting subculture in that there is a large numerical imbalance between women and men, likely much larger than that found on any vanilla dating site. The imbalance is enough to create an environment where women have both more agency and a much wider pool to draw from than their age, weight and general attractiveness would indicate in a more balanced environment and that empowerment leads to some really interesting shifts in the social dynamic. That's a peculiarity that trips up a lot of men, particularly but not exclusively single men, because this is not how the world generally works.

Most couples profiles are handled by men, not because they're in the driver's seat but because their wives and significant others can't be bothered to do the grunt work of sorting through messages and profiles. I sometimes think that obscures just how much power women have in the lifestyle. It's a little more obvious at clubs and parties, where women are often the initiators.

I can only give my personal first hand experience when I started as a single male and it mirrors BT to a, well...T.

I was living in Ohio and when I first started out I did what seemingly every single got does, carpet bombed every local couple who were even remotely interested in single guys. I met a few but the percentages were ridiculously low.

I also was reading the fora at that time and saw the advise from an experienced single guy so I revamped my profile and mad myself available while not looking desperate.

I soon started getting emails from couples who were looking for what I had to offer. These soon turned into more opportunities and the good word spread and eventually, I stopped reaching out at all and had a full dance card.

Overeducated seems to be under-informed on this topic.

~Scamp