Does anybody really want to play?

Isn’t manipulation the greatest!

My opinion on your question is that a lot of folks on here including ourselves love the idea of swinging but when it comes down to it we throw up road blocks because we are afraid of being caught, or does he want this more than her, etc. etc. My wife knows we have a profile and we actually read a lot of the stories. I am ready to take the plunge but she is not. We have soft swapped but I had to set that up in the context of sensual massages which worked for her and she did things she would never have done otherwise. For her it is the thought putting yourself out there for the world to see (and what would the people at church think if they found out) and the whole safety issue. I've met with several guys that I was trying to arrange to meet with us and a couple were really creepy but their profiles were really normal and well thought out. So I guess I would say you will just have to be patient. It took 7 attempts until we met with the first women. The other 6 were no shows. So we ended up with one that we liked and kept it up for a couple of years just doing soft stuff. We are currently developing a new relationship with another women now. I want to find a couple just by chance so it happens naturally. I know that is a long shot but I will keep trying to create those types of opportunities. Things like swim parties. Hot tubs, NYE parties where people get a little loose. Anyway best of luck. We did find one of our male friends here on SLS and that worked for about a year. Gave her a lot of pleasure. one problem I have is that now every time we go out and met someone new she asks if I've set it up on SLS or if it is truly random.

OP: It is possible to meet people online and we have had some amount of success doing it. Not saying it can't happen, but when we see "newbies" we tend to think that decreases the odds of actually meeting. Many get excited at the thought but when the rubber meets the road some just don't follow through either through fear or some other reason/s.

That can happen with experienced people as well, but at least you know that they have met and played and they know how they will react to seeing each other having fun with others. That is a big hurdle in itself. Just something to keep in mind when courting people online.

Though we have done the hotel thing, it just feels a little weird other than a party. Our preference is to have people over at our house or go to theirs. If nothing happens at least there is no hotel bill to split or pay for. If we feel comfortable enough to play with someone we generally feel comfortable enough to have them over for dinner and drinks and some play time.

Last night worked with a tourist couple. We love Vegas

We try to stay local , and not travel for a wild goose chase

We try to stay local , and not travel for a wild goose chase

Deutsche34, unfortunately yes, every 3rd-4th case is like that. To combat - keep communication simple: say hi, clear vital details, exchange face pics, set meeting date. Do not invest time or emotionally into conversations before meeting in person.

Ok well hot tourists couple was very strange. He was meek wimp bodybuilder and she was tall thin and a freaky dom. we said not thanks over lunch.

We just got emailed by a hot tourist couple that wants to play. It does still happen

I am also finding scheduling to be a bit of a challenge. I would prefer to find a local couple to make a connection with. But, I understand why people would want to stay long distance. Getting started is more difficult than I anticipated. Shesh.

Erotic: We as a couple who started by never playing within 30 miles of our town, we found it easy to deal with the many lifestyle folks in vanilla settings in platonic manners, but how the other person handles themselves will also determine our association to them in those vanilla settings, such as a short hug and a peck on the cheek or a handshake will definitely go further than a full on hug, grope or neck kiss, as examples.

You happened to mention exactly what I sent in an email this morning to a couple that wanted to meet outside of a planned party date we were both attending that got cancelled.

“In the past year, we have found ourselves very seldom getting out due to our schedules conflicting. We find meeting people at clubs or parties more advantageous now than before. Should something change and we end up having a day or evening to ourselves, we always enjoy going out with others.”

~Allen

I agree with what Rabbit said. Handling yourself in non-swing environments around others you may have had horizontal relationships with is one of the reasons why people may not like to play locally.

I think the local issue has more to do with the size of the local area. When we were in Fort Lauderdale, there was never any concern about playing with someone who is local. Why? Chances are you'd probably never see them out and about. Heck, my ex-wife moved 1.1 miles away and I didn't see her for 4 years! Here where I live now, there are a TON of people who are afraid to play locally. They fear that the person they hook up with may be a co-worker, teacher, or even someone they know. We do not have 6 degrees of separation, we have one degree. A co-worker got in an accident and I asked if she knew the person who hit her, she said no, but her best friend does. So when we find local people who are against local play we tell them we are not against local play, we tell them that if we see them out and about, we will not say anything. If they are still against local play, we wish them the best of luck. Everyone has their reasons and we are not going to judge that they are right or wrong, they are right in their own mind and that is all that matters.

But back to the question posed, do people want to play? Yes. But their agenda may not align with your agenda. You want to meet at a neutral ground and then go to a hotel if things work out. Have you thought about why people don't want to play that way? We know some people who are lucky to get out once every 6 months. They have choices and they can either go to a club and take their chances with a large group of people or they can meet with someone for dinner. What happens if there is no attraction with the people at dinner? They will think they just wasted their one night out per 6 months. At the club, they have better odds.

If you are adamant about your preferences for meeting people, stay at it. But I would not expect everyone to share those same preferences.

Good luck.

Well so much for Hot Dates. The couple was nervous as hell when we talked to them on the phone and they just canceled. Phony profile claiming lost of full swap experience.

Dont give up. We are meeting a couple tomorrow that we contacted on Hot Dates. Craigslist was great while it lasted.

Up until recently all our experience was at LS clubs as we wanted to keep our fun life separate from our vanilla one. Recently we decided it was stupid to have fun once or twice a year and decided to bring the party back stateside lol. We found the website and thought this the best way to meet couples as feedback we’ve gotten on clubs are that they are only fun if you go with a group. Right out the gate we met a great couple, hit it off and spent two Saturday nights with them. But other than that it seems like people want to chat but not pull the trigger? Maybe our profile is throwing up flags (we submitted it in the profile review forum so we’ll see)

Rabbit, very good advice, Thank You as well. I have been just reading for the most part but found that very helpful. I have been reluctant to post any questions myself since most of what I am reading is worthless information, but it is nice to see some glimpses of good advise.

Rabbit, good to know. Thank you! I had not thought about the "how did you meet" question. Good point.

Happens all the time. If they have no certs then they are not real or only one half of the couples is into sex and trying to talk the other half into swinging.

Still, Ignore anything and everything NutCal has to say. Most of us on here have him blocked because he is an opinionated, hateful and irritating troll.

We never worry about meeting local couples out and about and you probably shouldn’t either. After all, they don’t want to be outed any more than you do.

I ran into my boss’s secretary st the club once and Scamp (and I) ran into some long term clients from his work (that I had met at work functions several times) at a meet and greet and a couple of house parties. There was never an issue. We all said hi, chatted about mundane things and left it at that. No awkwardness and no sex or groping

Of course if they are with family or a group of friends you should probably just ignore them. If they catch your eye a quick smile is all that is needed as no one like to be put on the spot with the “how did you all meet” question.

~rabbit~

We get quite a few couples that make first contact with US, saying we’re hot and want to meet to play, but when we contact them back , they are always busy doing this or that. We don’t get that concept.

Fokker, thanks for the info. I have tried looking through this whole site and I am not able to locate much going on in my immediate area. Maybe my access is limited for some reason.

Ncal, do you not go to the grocery?

Living in a tourist town we get to meet a lot of out of towners. Oddly enough, we’ve made great friends from out of town and we travel to see them and they return often.

This weekend we have Naughty in Nawlins in town and have already met three new playmates (two couples and a SM) and plans for more.

We also have some locals we see somewhat regularly so we feel like we get the best of both worlds.

We get a lot of tourists, so we have the best of both worlds.

We are across the street from the airport, and within walking distance of three major hotels...

You dont run in swingers in the grocery store. Swingers are only swingers in private settings. There are many groups of meet and great types on meetups.

Groups that actually get naked and fuck others for fun..good luck finding them

Look under “Groups” in menu and choose your state. Also do searches with your zip.

As far as local vs long, well it really depends on your area. We had rotten loluck with just straight out finding couples and always preferred to meet people at clubs. It’s all a matter of your personal comfort preferences in our opinion.