Completely new. Best way to get started?

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Whoopeeeeee!!!! Another single male!!!!

Hi and welcome. There's actually a section called Better Profiles and I'd suggest you start a thread there and then see what the harsh but constructive group mind suggests.

However, for a quick improvement, you could lose the first two lines in Looking For, all the all-caps words, and that nonsense boilerplate in Additional information that is just taking up space.

Hello all. Been in lifestyle for decades and was wondering why I’m not getting any inquiries on my profile. I’m open for comments and suggestions to improve it.

Hello....I am actually new as well..Was just reading and checking into things..
I will say I am married..22years..Professional Drummer..Ride Motorcycles..etc.etc..
This new part of my life adventure is strictly for me...
I have a lot of things I want to explore and enjoy before its too late!!
Anyhoo... Thanks for listening!

It’s been so long I don’t remember the rules for the Atlanta club if you are even near that town, but here in Memphis the swing clubs don’t have a “single male night” as typically the club(s) are open only on Saturday night. SM’s pay a significantly higher admission fee to gain entry and they are restricted to the downstairs bar, dance floor and other social areas where most flirtation occurs anyway. A SM can move up to the play areas if in the company of a couple or a woman. Violate any of the listed rules and the security guard will throw you out on your butt.

if you go to a club it is hard because you have to go on single guy night.... you won't get the real effect

Loveitslow - you can also check Tools > Lifestyle Definitions

I did notice some important ones (FMF / MFM) missing and I was very surprised when I was new to learn there was a BIG BIG difference between MFM and MMF. There is a true learning curve to the LS. Ask away - many regular forum posters have been around long enough to be able to help.

loveitslow, what acronyms are you wondering about?

Like Paws, I too am a Single Male, and being new I am a bit inhibited with being with a couple, but that may be just because it is foreign to me. I would not mind looking into this a bit more, but how to get started is the other question. Further, what do all the Acronyms mean? I tried to google them, but to no avail.

Thanks MsMolly and ShePlays.

That's more than kind of you guys to say. I'm sure that Paws and we can find time soon to have a few laughs and share some stories. We're practically neighbors, and the school year is about to be over for me in a couple of weeks.

Tramp

If you go back as recently as one year ago and even less, you’ll find plenty of baiting and trolling of others, although usually while teamed up with their southern counterparts. I even have correspondence of some conspiracies being taken in cellular text. You and anyone else can put them on a pedestal but I call BS.

Lady N Tramp Quote: Might I suggest that maybe one weekend we all could hook up for dinner somewhere just for the purpose of sharing a few laughs and a lot of information?

L-n-T are well known to these forums. They have poured a ton of time an energy into an ongoing effort to help those who ask it, completely and unselfishly insofar as I can see, and I have read much of what they have written to share.

You are also going to find that there are no end of knuckleheads out there, many claiming vast experience, offering stories that I find quite questionable, and opinions that I find to range from the useless to borderline insane ...

I think you do not risks by socializing with L-N-T

Lady N Tramp Quote: Might I suggest that maybe one weekend we all could hook up for dinner somewhere just for the purpose of sharing a few laughs and a lot of information?

L-n-T are well known to these forums. They have poured a ton of time an energy into an ongoing effort to help those who ask it, completely and unselfishly insofar as I can see, and I have read much of what they have written to share.

You are also going to find that there are no end of knuckleheads out there, many claiming vast experience, offering stories that I find quite questionable, and opinions that I find to range from the useless to borderline insane ...

I think you do not risks by socializing with L-N-T

GGMM I appreciate your opinion. I will almost certainly take them up on it.

Allen, depends on your definition of "start." Mine was the first moment I opened the door to a club; no research could have prepared me for what happened after.

Paw5105, I'm glad you're here asking questions and exploring things before you make any sort of move. I would like to point out that you received the rarest and kindest sort of offer from Tramp: a chance to practice your company manners with and ask questions of an experienced couple, without any desire or expectation for anything else. I hope you take them up on it, because it will shorten your learning curve by a factor of about a hundred.

Hey Paw, welcome to SLS. Just be honest to yourself and be determined to enjoy the lifestyle, there are lots of folks here with different wants, desires, needs, curiosities, frustrations and some of us are just down right weird. Not so many single women as there are couples looking for a young guy to play with, don’t be shy or intimidated just have fun.

Hollyblue, I agree. My current picture I threw in there to have something, but I am planning on getting better ones up over the course of the week for sure. I do my best to be respectful to the people that I contact and am honest about who I am and where I am at. I will definitely be patient. I don't expect much right off the bat.

Allen, I do agree that I need to continue reading up on it. I have a bit, but my knowledge is hardly extensive. I had thought about meeting up with some folks, or even going to a meet and greet event that I saw, but I think I should probably wait a bit on that until I know a bit more. Thanks for the advice.

Lady n Tramp thanks for offering to talk with me. I may be interested in doing that, but need to take a bit of time to think about it. Maybe we could get in touch privately here to discuss.

Welcome to the forums, Paw5105.

Like the others, I believe that you're off to a good start. There's a great deal that I could say, but I'll keep this very short.

You aren't looking for women over 50, and Lady doesn't generally look for men under 45, so that part might well be a no go. However, you seem like a genuine guy wanting to inquire and we are very close to each other. Might I suggest that maybe one weekend we all could hook up for dinner somewhere just for the purpose of sharing a few laughs and a lot of information?

Just a thought.

Tramp

“The good news is that some of us didn’t know what we're doing when we started.”

GGMM: Fixed it for you.

I generally agree with you, yet we googled stuff for months, and read a library worth of material before creating a profile and then asking questions, which seems just the opposite for the majority

OP: May I suggest a visit to the Successful Swinging forums and read read read. Google will also be your best friend to answer the majority of your questions, even though it sounds like you are on the right track.

Good luck!

~Allen

You're off to a great start. Would suggest getting the best photos that you can. Set the timer on your camera rather than take a selfie and you'll get some better shots or have a friend help with your vanilla ones. Wear a nice shirt for a few pics to go with the others that let people know a little more about you. Also, if discretion is a big thing you may not want all of your face for your default pic.

With contacting ladies and couples just simply be a gentleman. Be conversational and try not to brag (which you probably won't do). We all are looking for people who are who they say they are. Be yourself and relax as much as you can. With online contacts you may need to be patient as it may or may not take a while to find interested people.

Once you get to your first meetings never budge on what your boundaries are. All of us have different things we will or will not do. Be sure to communicate well so that the single or couple understands what yours are and be sure to ask plenty of questions so you know theirs. None of us will be a good fit for everyone. You will fit into what someone is looking for and someone else will fit into what you are looking for. Don't give up on that. Be patient and take some time to learn the local community that you are in and it'll be worth it. Good luck.

Thank you for the advice! I just signed up last night, so my profile isn't even close to done. After I finish, I will submit it though. I didn't realize that there was a place to do that here. I also need to scan for posts on etiquette when approaching or messaging folks. I want to make sure that I am respectful and do things the right way. I am looking for me eat and greets or events for new folks. I'm sure there will be something. I don't think I am ready to just throw myself into a club though. Regardless, I will do my best. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit intimidated by all of this, but it should get better with time. Also, the community here seems really nice and very helpful, so I am already feeling better!

The good news is that none of us know what we're doing when we start. You can certainly find people on-line, where it helps to have a good profile, good photos and the ability to actually determine who might actually be a good fit before you start emailing. I'd suggest submitting your profile to the Better Profiles sub-forum if you haven't already done so.

I am a big fan of clubs, groups and meet and greets, especially the latter, which allow you to work on your social skills in a no pressure environment. Not every m&g welcomes single men, but many do and I'd suggest going to as many as your schedule allows. Clubs too, although that's a more bruising environment and it's tough to go alone. Some clubs allow unrestricted numbers of men on select nights, which makes your odds of hooking up low but also allows you to get a feel for the environment.

Hey folks. I am completely new to this. I have been interested in this lifestyle for a while, but was always a bit too nervous and shy to get involved. If I am trying to start getting an idea of what this is all about and whether or not I enjoy it. I am assuming that looking for folks online here would be difficult, as I am a single male. Would it be better to go to a club, join a group, etc? Basically, I have no idea what I am doing......