I’m gonna go out on the lemon and say that’s what the feature is for what’s the point of knowing who’s looking. I mean, what’s the harm in ignoring them or better yet being kind messaging them back letting them know you’re not interested. doesn’t really seem like a big deal to me. And by the way, hey I looked at your profile if you’re interested, please let me know??
Phoebert
Yep, this site (technology wise) hasn’t kept up with the times.
I have since tagged my private pics to open if your tagged as favorite. If I see a profile that viewed us and looks compatible I’ll check off favorite. If they happen to check another time after. The pics are now open. Kinda like a big smile , if they want more they don’t need to ask now - so if they are interested they will send the bird. If we are really interested we will initiate.
"...those question marks behind my sentences…those were supposed to be laughing faces. Not sure why they appeared as question marks after posting."
Because SLS forums can only handle the old fashioned emoji. ;-)
@BFW. It was humor re: the stock profile pic. As for those question marks behind my sentences…those were supposed to be laughing faces. Not sure why they appeared as question marks after posting.
It was humor re: the stock profile photo.
I have gone down that rabbit hole many times.
We look at profiles profiles and their certs. It is a rabbit hole. You check a profile from NY, they have certs from California
"You might want to tone down the circulation of your profile pic. Just saying…??"
Not sure what you meant by this....
@BFW. Thanks! Yours looks very familiar. I have seen it everywhere over the last 20 years.??????. I somewhat gave this some thought the other day after posting a reply. This site is primarily focused on the eastern part of the country, hence that wall feature, etc. even the Blog participants (which I enjoy reading) seem to all be from those geographical areas. For these reasons I think I know why we get those long distant views. Too bad because on some occasions, some real nice people do exchange, but distance is the killing factor. So. View on. Even passing clouds look great in the open sky. Oh. You might want to tone down the circulation of your profile pic. Just saying…??
I really wish someone would explain why you think I am taking a pity party approach.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
It was suggested that I join local groups. Every group in my area has not been active in three years. Please tell me how I am supposed to ask if anyone has any other suggestions or if I am doing something wrong while searching for groups , without saying all of the groups are not active and sounding like a pity party?
It was suggested that I try Fetlife. I did. I went to a munch last month and I am going to another one this month. I am meeting people, which is all I want. Unfortunately, most are into pain and being cut and getting bruises so I have a lot of people to weed through. It was suggested that I lose weight. I lost 38Lbs in 7 months. So far.
I try everything suggested and if you would rather I didn't post when I have negative results and only post positive results, I can do that. But I would expect you to then say I didn't take your advice about whatever because I never mentioned that I had negative results.
Again, I am not complaining about going to meet and greets or parties and nobody will play with me. I am trying to find a way to meet people and get to know them, so I can be invited to parties.
I do not see how asking what worked for you with finding meet and greets and parties and meeting people is a pity party.
@OCBJ "We get a lot of views. Mostly from 1,000 miles away."
I just looked. Your profile pic lured me in! LOL
We enjoy people visiting our profile that’s why we are on here to meet people who enjoy the lifestyle. We know that for us everyone is so far away but people do travel and being that we live on an island we might be lucky enough to meet someone visiting.
"pitty party approach to the lifestyle. That approach will always fail, be it in, or out, of the lifestyle. No one likes a “Debbie Downer,” "
Lol, pretty spot on. That has been explained to him in the past, but it doesn't seem to change anything.
@Y
“ Any advice for someone like me who would love to be in the lifestyle but can't find a way in? I'm honest about not being in the lifestyle, do you think that helps?”
First and foremost, you’ve been on this site for almost 3 years and looking back over your post it seems this is more a pitty party approach to the lifestyle. That approach will always fail, be it in, or out, of the lifestyle. No one likes a “Debbie Downer,”
I don’t understand your being honest about not being in the lifestyle while being on a lifestyle site. Perhaps you could explain that?
"We get a lot of views. Mostly from 1,000 miles away. Go figure."
With a default photo of a beautiful woman with an ass to die for, I seriously doubt that I'd ever be able to figure that one out.
If I do, I'll get back to you.
There are profiles we visit multiple times, and there are profiles that visit us multiple times.
Sometimes we like to see if they are signed up for an event where we could meet them. Sometimes we’ll be traveling to their area and we’re looking at couples to see if we might possibly meet.
If a picture looks intriguing, we click on the profile. Isn’t this part of the point of posting pictures?
Goodvibes- "The opposite is true of those who claim to be in the lifestyle and have no clue what the lifestyle is like, and are rightfully not given the time of day!".
Any advice for someone like me who would love to be in the lifestyle but can't find a way in? I'm honest about not being in the lifestyle, do you think that helps?
Yeah - but where's the puppet?????
"or maybe they think you're an idiot -"
Hey, I'm right here dammit.
If you post in the forums you'll probably have more than your share of views from people far away.
Could be they agree with you or maybe they think you're an idiot - but they're curious about the person behind the forum posting. ;-)
And I've made potential friends all over the US by sending a message in response to a forum posting. We jokingly say that when we're no longer caregivers we'll need to take another RV trip around the US to meet all the far-flung swingers!
We get a lot of views. Mostly from 1,000 miles away. Go figure. But, there is nothing wrong with thanking someone for stopping by. I doubt, unless people are traveling to the area, that anything will ever come of it.
I tend to gravitate to profiles that are well thought out, well written, and express what they are looking for in the lifestyle. For the most part the default picture along with their stats are the initial appeal. From there I will read the profile (you took the time to write it, so i take the time to read it). If there are similar interest I may or may not reach out and send a bird.
There are times where a profile is so well written, but the similarities differ. I will still reach out to compliment them on a well written profile, with no expectation of a response.
A few of those times a response was received and after several conversations we agreed more than we realized and things progressed from there.
Like many on this thread, there are folks with various needs and viewing profiles does not guarantee anything more than viewing a profile. If you are respectful, polite and genuine in your approach it goes a long way. The opposite is true of those who claim to be in the lifestyle and have no clue what the lifestyle is like, and are rightfully not given the time of day!
IMHO, looking simply means looking. If they felt there was a good match, they would reach out then, or perhaps save your profile for later when the timing was right. Personally I don't see why that is a drama to anyone, but as others said, if it is then turn off the WVM option and you won't be bothered by it any more.
Once again, people are different. I've had people view my profile, and I contacted them afterwards. Sometimes it's a "no thanks", sometimes it's "thanks for reaching out".
