More couples with Bi men

As a bi couple, we enjoy meeting many open people. If a couple appeals to me, but not the wife, she encourages me to "Go for it" and try to hook up with them...as I have many times.

To everyone that responded maxed off my comment. I guess bi situational is the perfect way to describe it. Not attracted to same sex but given the right moment certain play can happen.

It would definitely be easier if we had more options and people would at least actually describe what preferences they had in their profile. To my way of thinking this just allows you better chances of finding a good match. If you want bi play but you list as straight you will mostly not find what you are looking for. I guess too many bi guys are scared of the reaction to being labeled as Bi.

Was invited to a couples house where he posted as straight and I intended to play straight, but soon he had his hands all over my cock. I was the first cock he sucked, and wasn't too bad. Got me hard before I fucked his wife. He cleaned me up good afterwards!

I suppose SLS could be like Fetlife where people have 27 descriptions on their profile.
Of course, then we could argue about what a poly, pan sexual, gender queer, rope bunny that enjoys impact play is.

Neat,

"Heteroflexible" we agree upon.

Admin is crap. So it won't be,

TNFun — Agree … but heteroflexible isn’t one of the available options.

NC Senior I would call that heteroflexable. Kinda where I am at. I love having all my options open.

It does get messy.

I used to list as "curious" because I saw it as a way to indicate that I prefer women. I've seen it often used to somewhat skirt the bi-male stigma.

Something like "heteroflexible" would probably be a better option.

Male half here. Hard to argue with all these points. For my SLS listing, it’s easy and obvious. I’ve never performed oral on another man but would like to try it once anyway. It seems to me that DOES make me bi curious. My wife is also listed as bi curious, but here’s where it gets “muddy”. She tried performing oral on another female once, found it “pleasant” — her word — and has gone down on 2-3 other women since. So at this point, it’s hard to call her bi curious anymore because her curiosity has been satisfied. But all of the oral she’s performed on other women has been purely situational. She hasn’t made it an objective in our hookups nor has she done it for EVERY woman since the first one. So is she straight but will play FF if the mood strikes her? Is she truly bi if she doesn’t do FF play every time? It seems to me that bi curious is a valid listing for some people, but there needs to be at least one more option for situations such as hers.

@Y - Saying what you are in your profile doesn't do squat when it comes to using SLS Search. That is the whole point in the declaring a preference.

Mayhem- yes, I understand it is just a tool.
But it is a tool that is not very good at selecting what you want.
It is not like age, height, weight, where you live, etc. Straight and bi is easy to describe. But when you are a straight guy that is willing to have sex with men, I think it is a mistake to try to choose straight, bi or curious and instead just saying you are straight but you are willing to have sex with men.
I will agree that after you try it, you shouldn't be listing yourself as curious. It shouldn't take 10 guys before you know if it is for you or not.
And, I have seen many definitions of Bi as you have to be romantically and sexually attracted to both sexes. And many gay men have told me there is no such thing as a Bi guy. They are gay, just won't admit it.
Which is also why I think you just say what you are , and are not into, in your profile, when you are between bi and straight

We can discuss what the term should be, but I think we can all agree that bi-curious is a limited/poor choice for most of the people that have selected "bi-curious". As a guess, maybe 1 in 10 that list that way are actually still "curious". As mentioned, at best, this is only a temporary state and saying that you will entertain limited bi play after you've experienced it doesn't make one fully bi.

IMHO, you don't have to feel romantic attachments to the same sex to be full on bi. Someone who is willing to kiss, perform and have oral performed, and for guys, willing to be tops and/or bottoms would be bi for all intents and purposes.

@Y - Again, this is just a tool to more easily help people find what they are looking for rather than putting someone in a box for the sake of it. The whole purpose of this site is to help people find what they are looking for sexually.

I guess the term I like is heteroflexable. That is probably the best term I have heard that describes me. I am romantically attracted to woman. With guys it is strictly sexual.

The problem with bi, straight and bi curious is people insisting that you fit into one box or the other.
If you vote for some Republicans and some Democrats, you can be an independent. Imagine politics if you had to choose only Democrat or Republican when you like both and you just noticed Libertarians?
A straight guy who has been with guys in some situations, would be better off just saying that that struggling with bi, bi curious, bi situational, etc.

TNF,

If you’re not attracted to men, you’re not really bi. And if you’ve engaged in same sex play, you’re no longer curious. So that term does not describe your situation on any level.

It’s no different than if there was a drop down menu with only a few choices for height or weight. It’s unlikely you’d ever be able to choose the correct number and would be forced into listing inaccurately.

Tnfuncouple865 - This is exactly why I list the Mrs as bi-curious too (i.e. lack of a better option). She is not bi. She likes breasts and maybe a little more in the heat of the moment. A truly straight woman may get upset if a supposedly straight woman asked to touch her breasts, just like a guy might if another guy asked to touch his cock.

I agree that the curious term is a temporary term but it's the closest thing available for alot of us. I am not attracted to guys in a romantic sense. I just enjoy having sex with other guys. Mainly with my wife involved. We both love to see the other pleasured. I am so happy that my wife not only is ok with me being bi but is turned on by it. What better way to cum together as a couple that to share things like this with each other.

"Pan" is nonsense, as there's only two genders.

There should be a pansexual option, cause thats us

I agree that bi situational would be a much better choice for myself and many others. But as others have mentioned and which is the norm for the powers that be of SLS don't look for any worthwhile user suggestions to happen.

Male half here! I’m exactly where Mayhem and MandC described … truly bi curious. I’d like to exchange hands play and oral with another man just to know what it’s like. My wife and I are actively looking for an actually single male — too many who say they are turn out not to be — to engage in an MMF (as opposed to an MFM) just to give me that experience. We’d also hook up with a couple that has a bi male, but my wife prefers to start with a 3some, and since she’s the one who’s offering this opportunity to me, well … ;-D I even changed my SLS profile from straight to bi curious in order to “put the world on notice”. I’ve joked that IF we manage to make it happen, I’ll then have to either change it to bi or change it back to straight … but it can’t stay as bi curious anymore after that!

Lots of good comments here but that will sadly fall on deaf ears to the powers that be to make any positive change the members would like to see.

As others stated above, one can only be curious once or twice, after that, you either like that particular action or you don't. Bi-situational, heteroflexible, some other term? IDK and I'm not suggesting there should be a dozen options to chose from, but "bi-curious" is definitively not a good descriptor for the many folks that fall somewhere in a gray area between bi and straight.

Mayhem,

You're exactly right. You're only bi-curious if you haven't experienced it yet. Then, you're no longer curious. It's like being "swinger curious" or "full swap curious". The choice of terms to describe someone's sexual situations on SLS are outdated, as has been pointed out to them several times. Virtually every other swinger web site offers users the ability to choose terms that are far more accurate.

We might suggest more accurate terms such as (as you suggest) "bi-situational" which obviously falls in between "bi-curious" and 'bi". To us, "bi" means that a person is sexually attracted to their own sex as well as the opposite sex. We know many people who are not attracted to their own sex, but enjoy play with someone of the same sex in the heat of play. We also know people who have zero interest in any contact with the same sex.

There's no choice if a person considers themselves "lesbian" or "gay" where a person would only be interested in activity with their own sex. SLS offers three choices, but not everyone fits into any of those buckets. With only three choices, there are a lot of gray areas within them that do not accurately describe the orientation of a lot of users. The choices are on a drop down menu, so the ability to choose the most accurate description already exists: just add a couple of choices and allow people to put themselves out there in a more accurate way.

JoJo2726 - Your situation is kind of exactly what I'd think "bi-situational" would describe. You know you're not fully bi, but you also aren't bi-curious.

While "bi-curious" is a thing, at some point you're not curious anymore, but you aren't full on bi either. It was a temporary state. Bi-situational is more of a permanent state and probably better describes 90% of the guys that list as bi-curious. They are no longer "curious".

I wish SLS would just change the word "bi-curious" to "bi-situational". It's a quick simple one word code change, but would make things clearer for a lot of people. For example, if most saw "bi-situational" they'd be inclined to ask "What situation/s?", but bi-curious implies that they don't know what they like so perhaps want to experience it all.

Having "bi-curious" as an SLS preference is kind of like newbies that use the word "new" in their profile name. Both are temporay states and both are mistakes IMHO.