So, what's the Lifestyle, anyway?

Transcript

Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice.

We're here to help answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle from newbies to longtime swingers unicorns and poly triads we hope to engage you all and encourage sex positive discussions now that we got that out of the way make yourself comfortable and join us in living the sweet life Thank you.

hi guys so we decided to do this bonus episode to kind of describe some of the terms that we're going to be using so that you understand what we're saying um whether you're new to the lifestyle or you are not in a lifestyle at all but you need to kind of know what we're talking about when you're listening to the podcast and you're going to hear these terms. So we're going to kind of walk you through some of them. All right. So let's take it away. Lock. Cool. Yeah. Just like she said, you know, it's not an exhaustive list, but it's just a few that come to the top of our mind.

Uh, so obviously the first one i think you should understand is lifestyle the lifestyle in general right like uh what is that when when you hear the lifestyle you hear swinger and all that stuff uh what are we even talking about right we're talking about a form of ethical non-monogamy right this that means people that's just uh they're not tied to the norms that have been placed in front of you. It's sexual activity that takes place from both singles and committed couples. It can be like social swinging or just hanging out, meeting people, and then whatever happens, happens.

Or it can be kind of like recreational, like this could be your thing that you do, like you could, you and your significant other can enjoy going on vacations and going to parties and and having sex with other people right or whatever um and you know a lot of people use it to enhance their relationship um but it's definitely not a fix to your relationship so i'm gonna keep it at that right yeah it's definitely not a fix to your relationship so i'm gonna go ahead and pass it back to the lovely tris well maybe we should just go into the next one babe oh my vanilla oh vanilla vanilla right vanilla is the exact opposite right vanilla is like people that don't participate in the lifestyle people that you know um conform to uh your your normal standards of monogamy you know you get married or you date one person you stay with that one person bingo boom that's it pretty much and that is a vanilla oh can i talk about flipping vanillas though yes yes right so flipping vanillas is is a is a cool little activity that some swingers like to participate in, which is just like, you know, hanging out with a vanilla, maybe at a bar.

It's not necessarily a lifestyle scene. And you see the vanilla couple kind of like giving you some signals and then you you're trying to introduce them to a lifestyle scene. You're trying to maybe pull them into a little something that they're probably not even ready for. Correct. This is true. Yeah, blow their socks off and they kick them out your door. This is true. You can go home now. You can go home now. This is very true. Right. So the next two terms I am going to talk about, let's go to the first one, is the exhibitionist. Basically, the term speaks for itself.

an exhibitionist is a person or a couple that enjoys putting on sexual acts for other people's pleasure so sexy and we used to be this at the beginning actually we used to like putting on acts and having people watch us and having them get turned on by what we were actually doing right yeah what was my favorite move in front of everybody used to tell me i was showing off pick you up in the air yes he did there's a funny story about that that we'll go into later one day one day but yes moving on the next term is a voyeur a voyeur is basically the opposite of exhibitionist a voyeur is a person that likes to watch um sexual acts go on also sexy shit it's also sexy so i would actually consider myself a voyeur like for example i don't enjoy watching porn on any type of form of video dvd vh want to watch it on but I like watching it in person yeah I enjoy it I get I get turned on by watching people actually do sexual acts in person yeah um right because like you said before uh because anything could happen right you could see somebody squirting or you could just see like other people might join into that particular group that you're watching or whatever.

It's just pretty awesome. I just love it. Yes, it was the first time I've actually seen someone use a strap on in real life. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. All right. Oh, go ahead. So the next term, you can go into it. You want me want me all right so the next one on my list is play um and we always talk about play play this play that right you get to you hear this term a ton right and it's always a kind of like um people trying to figure out how to define it and wonder why you're calling it play when you're doing some serious stuff like this right right?

You're having sex with your partner. You're talking about having sex with multiple people and you're calling it play. Play is, is having sex, right? It's any kind of sexual act. Um, we use it as kind of an escape from your day to day. Uh, it's, it's having fun. It's, uh, it's, it takes away from all of the serious nature of the sexual acts that you're performing. We kind of just use it just to bring levity to the situation, right? Like I wouldn't call the stuff that I do with Trish at home playing. I would call it like making love or having sex or something like that.

Or sometimes we are, um, going a little harder than that, but I wouldn't call it call it playing but i would call anything outside of our relationship playing right absolutely yeah um but yeah okay so yeah that's playing um you want to go to the next one you want me to take it yeah you want to take the next two because it kind of goes with cool so yeah you have different types of play right you got a soft swap and full swap, so you can hear this a lot, but soft swap is pretty, anything, any kind of special play that doesn't involve pinnacle, and it kind of, it covers a lot, I would say it covers a lot of things that they know, I think we talked about how it's kind of contradictory when it comes to just Thank you.

I think we talked about how it's kind of contradictory when it comes to just women. Yes, absolutely. Um, soft swap is not just women. Yeah, it's not just women or women stuff. No, it's not. We met a couple one time and we figured that out. We found that out that the wife actually wanted to do soft swap, but with her husband and another man. Oh, right. You're talking about like male on male, uh, soft swap, right? Yeah. It's just anything that's, um, that's not penetration, right? That's how it's defined. Right. Um, yeah.

So yeah, it's male on male male on female female on female um as long as it's not penetration anyway um and toys toys are used a lot um in this particular play style so then on the other side you got full swap and full swap is bingo bingo penetration right right it's uh you know it involves oral sex and any kind of penetrative sex uh you know anal double penetration double vaginal penetration whatever the case may be if you're sticking something in it's full swap all right so i'm gonna go ahead and pass the next one to you what you got so my next one would be polyamorous. That's a big one.

It is a very big one, and we're just going to hit it at a very high level because I, by any means, am not an expert at this. Right. But I can go on that we've met a few couples throughout the years, and this is my, I guess, my viewpoint of the things that we've learned from them. So being poly is basically having an intimate relationship with more than one person that is non-monogamous. What that means is that you can be, basically, you can have a very emotional connection with multiple people. Right. And you guys have an understanding. And I'm sure it's way more than that.

Like I said, we're going to hit this at a high level. But the couples that we've met throughout the years actually have been the woman is actually married to a male and they have a boyfriend. Who has the female has right the wife has a boyfriend right that's right and and actually in all of the situations that we've been that we've met that that's all that we've been exposed to yeah thus far so um that's what poly means right right so it's back on me yep back. Cool. So we're going to talk about a little bit of what you're going to see at the clubs, right?

Or what kind of clubs you might be looking for. So when you're going out and you're trying to find your way, most likely you're going to go to like a swinger club. And there are different types of swinger clubs, right? Some of them are on premise or off premise. And we're going to give you a little bit of lowdown on that. So on premise club is a club that not only has like all your regular club atmosphere. Like, you know, you got your dance floor, you got your bar, you got all this good stuff.

You got a well lit like social area where you got people meeting and greeting and hanging and shaking hands and exchanging numbers but an on-premise place also has the bedrooms right you got the little playrooms bingo yeah got them playrooms man you got all sorts of different playrooms where you can actually have sex on premise you got it right not so not so difficult right so you got uh you might have a bit just add into that really quick and it's not as sleazy as you think it is it depends on no yeah it's been some definitely been some classy joints that we've seen um yes so it's just not like everybody's going at it on like this bed that keeps being reused over and over again i mean that's pretty much exactly what it is it's not but they change the sheets you know they clean it and this is that yeah but um yeah so you have like an orgy room and you got like different themed rooms you got like a room with a stripper pole and they got i think it was like a cd joining this you can bring your own little cd so they probably need to step that up a little bit like an mp3 let me hook up the phone that up yeah but i mean you know it's still dope um a lot of on-premise places give you like maybe like a time limit when you go into the room you gotta sign your uh sign your name or your club number and you get to go in and bring in whoever you want leave the door unlocked whatever the case have your fun and then uh leave out of the room or whatever and clean the joint and um ready for the next couple but yeah um so that's on premise and off premises obviously the direct opposite where you have to you know it's probably uh more along the lines for a meet and greet where you go and you're kind of meeting people.

It's like a bar, you're hanging out and everybody's kind of being social and playing around and flirting and touching and feeling. But no sex is allowed on on premise, probably due to some zoning or some kind of laws in that particular county or whatever. So, yeah, that's on premise, off premise. All right, babe, what you got?

so we're going to talk about the two terms that kind of actually go well together it's unicorn and a manicorn so although unicorns are beautiful creatures people are not creatures but unicorn in the lifestyle is basically a rare find unicorns are basically a single female in the lifestyle that is not in a relationship with anyone. So she is not in any type of committed relationship with anyone. She's just interested in being in a lifestyle, but she doesn't have an actual partner. Unicorns are great.

You can, I mean, they pretty much just can do whatever they want yeah um very they can be very picky they can be very very picky they can be selective if they want i mean that just comes with the territory it's a supply and demand type of thing it is and it's definitely a low supply of unicorns right right that's the hard part that is very much the hard part the next term is going to be a manicorn. Now, there is not a low supply of manicorns, unfortunately, in the lifestyle. You can find those. They're not as rare as unicorns are. But manicorns is basically the opposite.

It's a single male that's not in a committed relationship or really attached to anyone. He has no strings attached and he's here to, you know, whatever your pleasure should be. Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, both are here for, um, for fun, right? Like, I mean, just like the rest of us, we are here to have some fun and play with each other and, and just enjoy the lifestyle together. But you know, there's a, the unicorns and manicorns or single males are people that just kind of jump in and out of a couple's relationships, you know, at the couple's choice, right? That's absolutely right.

Yeah, they're just trying. They're here to have fun, too. They're here to make their, make fantasies come true, whatever. That's correct.

Super me or you it'll be you honey just a side note the unicorn that we met one time told my husband here that she wanted some of his big black cock that's what she was looking for it was hilarious i thought it was the funniest thing ever but yeah these are yeah we have stories for days but i can't wait to get some of these next definition the next one is uh orgy right like um we always talk about orgies man everybody comes you know has the like the fantasy or not even fantasy but just like the image of like a bunch of bodies just like laying on the floor and i'm sure there are people who have seen these um these massive orgies with a lot of people just having sex and just kind of like rolling around as one big group but what's the bare minimum that qualifies as an orgy what was your guess so i thought it was four but i was wrong apparently right i mean i wouldn't even say wrong i mean that's just your opinion.

But I saw it as like five or more. And it kind of makes sense to me, right? Like, if you have four, theoretically, they don't necessarily have to be two couples, do they? No, they don't. I don't know. Not really. So this was out for debate. It is pretty much out for debate there. So however you choose it is either four or more or five or more people having sex, engaging in some kind of sexual activity. So, yeah, absolutely.

So moving on to our next term, guys, we're going to move on to a term that Locke and I have actually came up with in our beginning years in a lifestyle called crash and burn. Did we come up with it? Well, we came up with it after the things we ended up seeing. All right. So we just kept saying it. All right. I'll claim it if you claim it. I'm not going to leave you. I'm claiming it. Claim it. All right. Just claim it. Go for it, Mama. So crash and burn. Crash and burn is a term that lock in myself, we use a lot when we refer to couples that are new to the lifestyle.

Basically what that term means is that a new couple presents themselves to the lifestyle. They come in and they're so excited, like a boy, they just got his, his first, you know wet willy or lost his virginity he's like super you know excited and amped up like the energizer bunny and he's going to try all of these new things that are coming so they come in they're like oh my gosh i see boobs i see around. I see, you know, penises walking around and it's great. And everybody's walking around freely and they think that it's lovely.

And then what happens is that they don't vet their actual relationship and they don't bring up what is my absolute yes.

and what is my absolute no that i am willing or not willing to do they don't do that so they go 90 miles per hour and what ends up happening is that they try all these things their relationship isn't always ready for right right but they do it so fast instead of building up and then their relationship suffers hence the term crash and burn because they end up breaking up boom yeah i mean well said you're absolutely right um yeah i got nothing else to add on that man like yeah people just get into something they didn't they're not ready for man getting over your head it's typical um we've seen it happen um yeah and it's it's pretty sad to see you know uh some people just come in young wide-eyed bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and the next thing you know we we we're sending text messages to uh nothing to no one no one it's you know getting no responses back so i mean it happens but you know um hopefully our our future podcast will will alleviate some of that stress on some newbies man absolutely yeah so so what we got we're gonna move on to our next term which is quite a big one it's me last one let's take it home we're gonna bring it home with the little bdsm right we got uh bdsm is an acronym for bondage discipline or domination sadism and masochism right uh and bondage usually refers to physical restraints that's like having sex or getting some kind of sexual gratification out of tying someone up or being tied up usually some handcuffs or some rope play and rope play is actually a very beautiful thing when you see somebody do it and do it well and really care about it is a beautiful sight yeah it was hot man like we saw a good friend of ours kind of like tie up his listen I'm not even going to get into all the terms the technical terms I'm just going to say her his partner or whatever he kind of he tied her up and kind of turned her into like a little suitcase and i said i want to be a suitcase yeah you did and that shit turned me on but yeah it was so hot but uh yeah it was it was pretty dope it's a beautiful thing to watch um so that's and then you got uh domination right domination is um is tied one hand with, uh, submission and that's giving another person power over you.

And you know, a lot of people are into that. A lot of people are into being told what to do or, or whatever, and when to come and when not to come or how to come or being humiliated or whatever. Um, that's what they into. Cool. Uh, then you got sadism. Sadism is getting some kind of sexual pleasure from inflicting pain and humiliation or whatever into someone else. And masochism is the exact opposite. You're a person that derives pleasure, sexual pleasure out of being spanked or humiliated or whatever.

Again, this is wide wide umbrella that covers a lot of deep deep things um we've been to like parties and we've seen um a lot of people doing some some pretty cool um activities in this world that we're we could talk about at a high level but we definitely can't give you the ins and outs but we're going to work on that and we're going to see if we can put some stuff together for you for future episodes i think it's interesting like uh lock just said we went to a party and there's definitely some things that we took up out from that party um that we learned actually that night about the uh bdsm community yeah man we got to see some pretty dope shit i mean we got to see one of the coolest guys in the world right like i mean we walk in this place it's a house and quick story right yeah quick story quick story we we walk up into the house and all we hear is pow and you'll hear a woman moaning in pleasure and we go into the room we can see in the den, there's a woman kind of like bound from the ceiling and the floor, legs spread, arms spread.

And he's and the guy's just like working her over with some kind of flogger. And she's just taking it in, taking it, taking it. And then, you know, when they're done their their show or whatever, he lets her get down.

And she she's instructed to crawl out of the room on all fours crawl out of the room and you would think that this guy is just like some badass and he's just like you know yeah flexing his muscles after he's just laid this incredible um this is this this force on this this small beautiful woman he comes over to us and just like hey man thank y'all for coming to the party right yes and we were both looking like hey it's so nice to have he was like the nicest guy in the fucking world he was awesome he was such a sweet guy he was so sweet so nice and then uh yeah i mean but then he made it you know made us feel comfortable and we got to chilling and and we found our little spot on the couch and just kind of curled up and we literally just curled up like a fly on the wall i just watched took it all in it took a all in of everything that was happening around us definitely a dope experience but i'm gonna go ahead and let you tie this one up babe I hope this helped you guys out a lot to kind of just know what we're talking about when we're referring to different things that may happen in the lifestyle and we're going to see you guys in episode three yeah see you in episode three thanks again we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review us on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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