We kicked-off the second annual Sneaker Ball by hosting the first ever Suite n Greet at Tabu Social Club!We recorded this episode in front of a live audience and we discussed their thoughts on lifestyle Myths, Misconceptions, and Bad Advice. We had a great group of people who shared some deep thoughts on the topic...but not without the laughs!As always, thanks for listening!Support the people who support this show:Shameless Care (promo code: SUITELIFE)Casual Swinger Week II (Hedonism II Resort, Negril, Jamaica March 30 - April 6, 2024)PCAP Miami 2023!Expansive Connection!Foambusters.com!Be sure to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!Check out our show and MANY others on FullSwapRadio!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: [email protected] us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle. From newbies to longtime swingers, or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex-positive discussion.
Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself comfortable and join us in this episode of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my sexy chocolate husband and ladies and gentlemen listen this is the first time you're going to hear that little intro you are going to hear it again in the next couple of minutes because, Tris, what do we have coming up in this very, very special episode? Our very first Sweet and Greet. That's right, man. The Sweet and Greet. And that was a spectacular event. That's one of the things I'm so proud of.
Like, we've done a lot of great things, but I'm really proud of that one.
So what is the Sweet and and great so it's basically we we put a filter out um asking if people wanted to volunteer to come with us to kind of pre-game before the actual sneaker ball that was happening at taboo social club that night so um we didn't want to get too crazy big and out of control so some people volunteered and we had some friends come in in town and they volunteered no one was on camera so it was all pre-recorded um but it was really nice to be able to hear um just people give it their like instant you know input we do that too on the show because the show is live obviously but this was just You got to hear their voices.
Yeah, you got to hear their actual voices and give their opinions. And they didn't know, like, all of the questions that was going to be asked. The way that we set it up was that we had people, we let them know ahead of time to write out some misconceptions or myths.
Or myths about bad advice or bad advice about being uh in the lifestyle but you'll hear that in the description um in the in the episode coming up but it was so cool um as you'll hear the chemistry was your favorite word tryst organic organic that's right i think somebody mentioned that too yeah it was it was organic it was fun it was honest and um it was on point like we really had a good time we had about 12 to 15 people down there and and down there i mean in vicky's vip lounge um right down there with the sex rooms so we had the nice little mood set even though it was a pretty deep topic but it was really cool and we're really appreciative as you'll hear um so yeah you're gonna hear that coming up soon we just wanted to give y'all a little intro to it i hope y'all enjoy it uh so stay tuned for that but y'all know we got to knock out a little bit of housekeeping um so the sneaker ball trist is all said and done how was it just sneaker ball was awesome like we had a really good time with sneaker ball they even threw in something like extra they had the pictures uh beforehand when you came in uh they also had kind of a a sneaker game where everybody was given these little small like converse keychains and try to find like your match i thought that was a good touch um on it yeah we're going to go into so much more detail in our upcoming uh live episode but just to bottom line it sneaker ball was so worth it and it was a great turnout and we cannot wait until next year which is september 14th 2024 yes so if you missed out this year make sure you check it out next year so i guess that's our first bit of housekeeping, September 14th, 2024.
Yes. So if you missed out this year, make sure you check it out next year. So I guess that's our first bit of housekeeping. September 14th, 2024. Taboo Social Club. Sneaker Ball. Third annual Sneaker Ball. Yes. What else we got going on? PCAP is coming up. PCAP is coming up and I'm still excited. I am pumped. Yeah. We just got off a Zoom call with all the PCappers or Libertine event people. And everybody is jazzed up, ready to go with our outfits. So I know if you're listening to this and you haven't gotten a ticket or anything like that, don't worry. It's going to be all right.
There will be other events. And we're certainly going to be promoting them. So just stay tuned. They're going to to be coming your way we'll make sure we get that information to you as soon as it's available to us and you can uh join one of those parties man because there's going to be a bunch of them absolutely and the last thing we got going on is casual swinger week we're going back to hito y'all already know know it's March 30th through April 6th of 2024. And that party is going to be lit. We cannot wait to get out there.
We're going to be talking to the hosts, the casual swinger folks, and we're going to be planning out the games. We're going to be planning out the little events and excursions.
And, you know, Trist and I, we like to do our own personal little excursions all over town uh but it's going to be lit uh hopefully you can join us yeah there's still open spots i think there's some open spots we just had some friends sign up recently as well that's right um to go on this trip this trip this year is going to be it's going to be different right because it's like now we're like hey we came back we're telling our friends like hey we had a really good time this is kind of what happened and these are people that have been on trips um with like other um groups and things like that so they're not totally like brand new and we came back raving about how much we had a great time and things like that and not because we're just trying to promote it because we're hosting or anything but it was just we really had a good time i mean listen full disclosure we weren't hosts last time no we weren't we had no reason we were just guests yeah last time yep so um you know one of the coolest things from the weekend with the sneaker ball was being at brunch with a bunch of people from the sneaker ball and them saying they're going to casual swinger week also yes and it was a lot of people yeah and that really warmed my heart so these people are trusting us and they're trusting mickey and mallory and they're trusting this crew and everything that we said and they're going with us on this trip so listen y'all we're gonna to have some legit sweet talkers coming down to Jamaica, and I hope y'all can be there.
Absolutely. It's going to be a great time. It's going to be a great time. So for everybody else, check out, don't forget to show your support on Full Swap Radio, all of the wonderful lifestyle podcasts over there.
And don't forget, if you're on any of these lifestyle trips check out our partners at shamelesscare.com where if you put in the code sweet life you get a nice little discount on all your little uh pre-game packets you know your std checks your ed medicine all that wonderful stuff that you might want to look into before and after going on a lifestyle uh vacation so absolutely check them out shamelesscare.com uh promo code sweet life so i think that about wraps it up y'all yes so go ahead sit back relax listen to the episode and let us know what y'all think and maybe next year you can join us for the sweet and greet that's right talk to y'all next time all right ladies and gentlemen she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my sexy chocolate husband and thank you so much for joining us in this live episode of living the sweet life yeah yes yes i'm cheering for us too yay now this is a fantastically special episode we are sitting in the basement in vicky's suite the the visit vicky's lounge it's vicky's vip lounge there you go that's it we're going to be politically correct.
We're going to be correct here. We are in Vicki's VIP Lounge of Taboo Social Club in Catonsville, Maryland, where we are doing the first ever, first ever, babe, Sweet and Greet. You like that name? Sweet and Greet. That's right. It's the Sweet and Greet. I got it right.
We got a live audience of some of our closest friends, and we are truly grateful toicky to everybody for taking the time out um of uh all their preparations for the second annual sneaker ball yeah who's excited that's right man i know i can't wait i got my outfit in the car i was just looking over pretty your outfit takes up most of the car it does it takes up a lot front seat, and I'm excited. It legit does. I'm glad we didn't get pulled over, but, yeah, no. I'm appreciative, baby. I can't wait to see you in it. But, listen, we are sitting here with, again, some of our closest friends.
These folks are beautiful. They are awesome, and we're appreciative of them taking the time out. And we're sitting here co-hosting with none other than paradise and mr deep handable that's right that's right clap it up yeah yeah i'm happy to be here thank you so listen man y'all know how it is before we get all into the shenanigans, all the craziness, all of our hearts beating out of our chest because we're upset about some bad advice that we got, y'all know I got checking with the boo and the crew. So, baby, how you feeling? I just told you. I was excited about my outfit.
I've been trying to get this outfit together for a month, trying to figure out what I was going to wear. And I was looking for something else in the store for something different. And I came across it. I was like, that's it. I'm wearing that. You're definitely channeling your inner Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Spoiler alert. That's what you said in the car. Yeah, you did. So I'm going to check in with my friends, too, man. Mr. Dependable, how you feel? Nope. How dare I? How dare I skip over the wonderful?
look spoiler alert yeah yeah you did you did so i'm gonna check in with my friends too man uh mr dependable how you feel nope how how dare i how dare i skip over the wonderful beautiful paradise ma'am how you feeling i'm feeling quite excited i'm telling you what you excited about i was so looking forward to tonight and then when you said something about a sweet and green beforehand i was like oh shit the day gets started early right if ever we needed another reason to start drinking early yes yes but here we are man uh and mr dependable how you feeling my friend always good to be here with all the lovely friends that we have that we've made throughout the year so i'm just happy to be here and it's gonna be a good great night yes that's anniversary night too oh yeah 18 years it makes us look i said the other day when we celebrated our anniversary and we're sitting there talking with some of our friends is here tonight.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, we're celebrating seven years. And they were like, oh, it's like I'm 20 and 18. And I was like, dang. Makes my seven sound like nothing, right? No, seven is the good hump to get over, though. It is. It is. They talk about the seven-year itch, man. But, you know, I'm rolling. I'm still scratching, baby. You're making me feel good. Wait, I don't know if that sounds sexy tonight. No, scratch that. We're going to forget that. Don't forget I said that. I scratched my itch. What itch? Where was the itch? Come on, man.
I'm come on man i'm stuck you got me stuck i'm sorry leave it there leave it there okay so how are you feeling oh yeah me oh man listen i'm just excited i am truly grateful for vicky for opening up the the sweet and greet uh the sweet for us this is awesome i'm pumped up we got friends uh in town from new orleans we got our local friends we got some new friends and man we got friends who ain't even here yet yeah but we are ready i'm excited the sneaker ball is going to be dope yeah i know everybody's pumped up man and um yeah i'm just ready to go i'm ready to get this day cracking yep all right i got part one part two so all right without further ado my beautiful queen my wonderful sweet talkers are y'all ready to get into tonight's episode let's yeah yeah let's do it.
Let's go. All right, folks, thank you all for hanging in there. Listen, again, tonight's topic is myths, misconceptions and just plain bad advice. So you might ask yourself, like, you might say something like bad advice doesn't quite fit in with myths and misconceptions. But I will argue that bad advice tends to come from myths and misconceptions, right? Those can kind of lead you down the wrong path. If somebody believes that, you know, every time it fucking rains, it's like acid rain, and they provide advice. Like, look, you need to wear, like, lead clothing or some shit.
Like, it's going to protect you you from that they're giving you bad advice off of something that they believe now why is that dangerous why is that uh problematic in the lifestyle why uh are misconceptions and uh just those those kind of thoughts troublesome i would say like for us especially early on i'm just using the earlier experience when we were new like like brand new to the lifestyle, and we came here. We came to Taboo. It was our first time coming.
And someone made it sound like that, you know, you're going to come in the door and people are just going to jump on you and try to take off your clothes.
So we were literally, when our first time came in the club, we were like arm and arm locked up like locked up like this yeah seriously because we thought that that was what was going to happen and for us we met the yeah exactly that's what we thought right we thought that because someone told us someone told us that so we were like oh this is what's going to happen and was quickly like dispelled yeah right we met the host couple that night um who actually taught us a lot mr mrs pasties yeah they taught us a lot early on in the lifestyle they introduced us to some people who we're still friends with like to this day they kind of like ran it through like this is this is this this is that right and then we looked at their cadence and how they were doing things and i was like oh it's not that bad they were the first couple that we heard say no pressure yes no pressure no pressure it's true it was like oh we were so disarmed like immediately oh yeah oh right yeah yeah um yeah no you're you're 100 right like uh oh go ahead uh paradise look how you're about to say something i'm sorry no no no i was waiting for you because i was just reminiscing back on our first time at a club go for it we won't talk about that first time yeah because one of the misconceptions came into play and i started hyperventilating and crying at the table oh no What was it though?
What was the trigger for you?
and i started hyperventilating and crying at the table oh no won't be no more you need people already you know it was just like what was it though what was the trigger for you so the thing it wasn't even really a trigger it was just walking around and i'm like 75 things in your brain at once yeah yeah they all come out at the same time so we were only about two years married And I was like so my misconception was you needed this when your sex life got boring oh right right well we're boring already like he ain't saying it is he just bringing me here because he's trying to tell me we're bored or what yeah that was one of the misconceptions and if he brings up me crying and hyperventilate Like, when i think that is a common one mr dependable did you have something to add there on that one he's like no she got it yes she does we did a lot of i did a lot of the research before and asked her a lot of questions and talked to her about it before we made the long drive to the club right so when we got there i kind of i was i think astounded a little bit just because where her mind was at right from feeling that i was trying to pimp her out to other people yeah and um like i was uh i was about to say i think that's probably one of the most common misconceptions is that, you know, when people bring up the idea of opening your marriage, you know, being a part of the lifestyle or even just introducing the words, it's like, oh, shit.
am i not enough yeah you know uh did we hit that stage of you know that stage in life already like god damn my titties are still in shape you know uh did we hit that stage of you know that stage in life already like god damn my titties are still in shape you know and you start looking down at your crush like shit god damn it it was one time baby there's one time i came early i'm sorry i promise it's not gonna be like this the whole marriage damn um but yeah i do i do think that's probably one of the most common ones and then the same one that you said like we did we truly believe that when we walked into the front door of taboo vicky that we were going to be walking over bodies yeah we did we had no idea what we were in store for yeah we did that's right you came in thinking that somebody was just going to grab you and start trying to fuck you yeah you overcame that yeah we were definitely like arm in arm but um yeah we quickly just made friends and walked around and it was good stuff yeah all right so the way tonight's conversation is going to work folks is that all of these wonderful visitors and friends um they have contributed some of their myths and misconceptions and just bad advice into a bag.
And we're going to start digging out these little things, and we're going to try to debunk them. I like that word. That was a good word to build out there. Debunked. They said that a lot in the last election. So we're going to start pulling those out. So, Trist, go ahead, baby.
Pull out the first one, and we're going to tear this this thing apart together let's see how we feel about it oh i know who wrote this let me see um oh they typed this shit up yes somebody did they homework right yeah most people most people wouldn't know that there are rules and a sense of decorum when it comes to the lifestyle. That's huge. How do y'all feel about that? I'm going to talk into the mic. Yeah, if y'all want to, y'all can definitely pass that around. Yeah. You can just take it out. I wrote that one. Or you can pass the whole thing if you want. Anybody can just. There we go.
Anybody can deposit their thought. Anybody can answer. Yeah. Okay. What was it again? Basically, there's a decorum.
There's decorum and rules um yeah some people probably think oh go for it i i completely agree that uh that there is uh there has to establish rules in order for people to feel comfortable it's not like we're all sex fiends and that right we can't control anything i mean yeah there's a lot that comes into play and if you don't have those rules a lot of people just don't feel safe absolutely and i think there's levels to the rules right you have your level uh your your rules and boundaries within yourself as a couple and then as the the person mentioned that there's a decorum amongst like rules of engagement when you're speaking engaging and talking and trying to introduce yourself and find potential play partners with other couples as well so what are some of those ideas what are some like um some boundaries that we have tris and then uh feel free to share mr um boundaries like for me or at least when we first started you know i mean i still have Thank you.
boundaries that we have Trish and then uh feel free to share Mr. um boundaries like for me or at least when we first started you know I mean I still have the same one sure so for me I don't like for guys or women to just come up and say oh I want to have sex with you that's great and then I'm like walking around and then I'll just walk away because there's still a decorum to that. Like there's still kind of like I call it dating, but not dating in a sense that I'm trying to actually be your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever it is. But it's still a certain of courting.
Let's say that courting, like courting, even if it's just for the night, a couple of hours or things like that. You get more for me from like if you just take it and just say hi how you doing a general conversation than you would by just telling me that hey you trying to do this tonight yeah and i'm like no i'm not i'm not trying to do anything tonight don't i know it like i've been shut down just throwing that shit out that shit for me. Like, I know it ain't going to work for you. You trying to do this? No. What about y'all? Paradise, Mrs. Dependable? What about the rules?
The old things with the fat head up in my face. I was sitting here kind of thinking, like, I can't think of anything off the top of my head i know rules our rules have developed and changed uh as we've we've grown throughout the lifestyle i believe um much like many women i think they like to be courted they're like some type of foreplay some type of interaction some type of Unlike most men, it's mostly a lot of times it can be more of the physical aspect. I know myself. I like foreplay. I like to talk a lot. So I can see why women would feel the way they do.
And there's nothing wrong with that. I also feel that I think all all of us at some point have some type of rules.
We've had that in regular life when we're just regular dating and uh i think things have changed a little bit from when we first got into the lifestyle yeah i noticed how even the club interaction has been and how individuals have more i think they feel if they paid for the entrance fee they feel as though then uh sex is automatically uh it's a part of the fee sometimes that's a lot of the misconceptions that come along with individuals and then they feel some type of way when they get to the party and then they leave and feel as though nothing was accomplished physically so um i think sometimes those are some of the assumptions i think that's about like setting your expectations reasonably also.
Like, I mean, some people, let's face it, like we all have some kind of expectation when we're going to a lifestyle event. Even if that expectation is, I'm just going to have a good time with my wife, right? Or my partner. I'm just going to, I'm here to have a good time. You still, you're setting your expectations. If you set your expectations too high, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. And I got shit to do with that. I don't owe you nothing. And nobody in the club owes you anything just because you pay the entry fee. That's how I see it. Any other feedback?
Any other comments on boundaries and all that? I'll jump in real quick.
So like our biggest thing is when we're like mentoring people is just communication is is key like you got to be able to talk to your partner and it's crazy how many people are afraid to talk to their partner about their sexual fantasies and sexual desires but that's like your teammate that's your life partner if not them then who so you got to be on the same page you shouldn't be afraid to talk to them about everything and just create like a judgment-free zone with each other where you're both free to share whatever it is to each other and from there that is like an establishment of rules in that communication yeah for instance we are um a uh we only play uh with together um with other people but in the same room sure um so that's just uh we don't know if that's gonna change it quite possibly could but that's what we're comfortable with right now and so there you go you know that's uh yeah that's an established rule that's just the way we are like we like being with each other like i like giving her a fantasy she likes giving mine but yeah and...
I like that, don't like these. Yeah. Yeah. And the other thing we try to mentor people on is just recognizing red flag behavior. There are certain behaviors where if there is a couple together and it's clearly a one-way street versus a two-way street where one person might be into it and the other person might be kind of in it just to please the other person. There's some baggage to that. That's a problem, yeah.
And if they're the people who are giving newbies like new advice well now you have someone there's good advice and bad advice there's people who's good at their jobs and people who are bad at their jobs and you never know who they are that's right so it's just recognizing red flag behavior just good behavior of people good attitudes and just like surround yourself with the right people and you're gonna have a blast hell yeah hell yeah sure all right speaking of bad advice let's see what else we got in there you got to cheating I wasn't cheating So remember that 18-year cusp. Ah, this one.
Just prepping your lips for later tonight. One of the myths that we heard was black people don't do that oh oh oh you mean like going like like swing any of it right right that's one of the things we had heard yeah black people don't do that one why do you think that is where does that misconception come from what do you think misinformation not having resources to understand that it could be anyone I mean even me before I was even interested in swinging watching stuff like real, all you saw were older white people and non-white people.
You were just like, oh, and which came to mind of, so do we do this because we're now bored because everybody was so much older? So by us being younger and black and brown, you're like, I don't see people that look like me in this life right right or when we went to hito but i think that that's um well because when we went to hito that's when we did see a black people. Well, when we were there and the first thing when the lady came up to the other individual and said, how do you talk to black people? Oh, wow.
Because we were pretty much the only ones there and everyone was kind of shy to talk to us. And so I said, we're just going to speak to everybody when we walk through here. I remember it. It was actually a couple that remembered us from our first club experience where I burst out in tears that we're not going to talk about anymore. You keep bringing it up. She came up to us and was like, oh, she remembered us and everything. And she was like, there were so many people that wanted to talk to you guys.
And she said the craziest one was a guy come to me and go, do you talk to a black girl well here you go i was for those in the back everyone listening let's solve the mystery here we go ready go ahead you say hi it's that easy that's it who are you here with there you go that that was for free that's a nice free tip right there really that's a thing but i think that that misconception um it that black people don't do that it's it's within us right it's within our culture that's actually perpetuated from our culture um we are typically culturally conservative black folks i was about to say yeah and here yep go for it oh yeah we're typically uh culturally conservative and it's we believe we perpetuate that same uh stereotype within ourselves by saying you know um it's like we're not claiming our sexuality we're we're ashamed of it it's it's a it's a religious component to it um i'm getting kind of stuck here no you're right absolutely so I think a lot of times as black people there is absolutely a religious component that comes to play in everything that we do and a lot of times there's things that we want to do but we shame each other and say hey that's some white people stuff we don't skydive right we don't base jump we don't swing we might want to but in and of ourselves we kind of we kind of shame each other yes right and then you get in and you're like yeah no and once you reach a point in your life where you're like i don't give a fuck fuck what anybody thinks.
Bingo. Yep. This is what I'm doing. Yeah. And then you realize, like, there's a lot of other people that are just like me, right? And they are hot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no, and I agree with you on that. It's just that, you know, there is a component where you just have to say, I'm going to do what I want to do. You know, like for me, it was just tell the story really quick.
But quick but for me like even at work we had to do this dumb icebreaker um where they said like three truths or something like that whatever the case and no two truths and a lie whatever right so I put this one particular thing and I told y'all about it in there because I knew because you think I'm black right that you just automatically think that that's going to be the truth right and it was very simple I just said oh rap music is my favorite I did that intentionally because I wanted to see like you're going to pick that as the truth because I'm black right and that's the thing and it's totally wrong actually I love rock and roll music that is my favorite i could tell you all about it from a to z all the way to the 70s all the way back i can tell you everything that's about that and then their mouth dropped i said because you have this like thing that you think that just everyone fits into this one box and that's kind of how it is in a lifestyle right like you have to be able to be your own person and say okay this is what we're going to do it doesn't mean that i you know am going to go to hell or you know i i don't i i'm not you know into the spirit or anything like that it's just that this is what i choose to do yeah and just move on but it is heavily barred up somehow all the time in our culture as it relates to religion well sweet talker right there so hi hello there i'm not going to be this to death too much but i agree with you all in terms of the self-infliction of that um belief one thing though is that i believe we're constantly trying to be the model minority in some ways so we tell ourselves certain things because historically we did not have power over our bodies in this country right and then we were seen as hypersexual so I think as a counter correction to that or overcorrection to that, coupled with religion, we have inherently said we don't do that kind of stuff.
Aside from other things we don't do, like skydiving, access and exposure. That is the one thing that we can control, which is our bodies at this point in our lives and so you raise your your children your women your your son your your girls your sons right to be model citizens right someone else's eyes although those are our eyes right we have suppressed our sexuality our sexual experiences our ability to have orgasms freely, all these things, right? And I think so much of that is historical, and then us trying to reclaim an image still. 100% agree. Thank you. Especially those orgasms.
Thank you. I'm telling you. You snapping? We snapping on that one? Yeah, that was a good one. That was good. Yeah, go for it. It's yours. My turn? Okay. You can't be friends with the people you swing with. False. We're getting that one the fuck out of here. It's false. Where does that one come from? What do y'all think? You can't be friends with the people that you swing with. This is one that I wrote down because it resonated with me, right? Early on when we started, we were like, we don't want to be friends with these perverts, right? We just want to have a second. Get out of here.
And I was reflecting last weekend. I was hanging out at a very vanilla situation last Sunday with some people in this room.
And the people I spend the most time with now, 10 plus years years later doing this are the people who I get naked with occasionally and we don't even do it that often right it's just like my network of people and and it's been growth for me because I can be completely vulnerable and open with my folks here I'm not hiding anything about myself even my oldest friends they don't know some things about me right and then with whole right so it was like it stood out to me that that was where we started we don't want to be friends with these people and now this is our our network man it's like yeah exactly man yeah snap that one up too i think that we have a lot of our friends i mean besides our childhood friends right a lot of our friends are swingers that we hang out with yeah like closest like the closest that we hang out with like often are our swinger friends it's not that we hanging out and we're having sex every time we see each other but it's just like hey you want to go out to the Waffle House or wherever it is yeah you're trying to go I'm trying to go too you know and I could have saw you naked like three weeks ago and it's's fine.
Like yesterday, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, like there are times when, you know, Mr. Dependable needed a break and just come over and just kick it. And just like we'll smoke or we'll drink and we'll just like vent and just like let life take its course. And I know there's some other sweet talkers that Mr. Dependable and Paradise will go kick it. They'll come travel far and wide to just come and hang out and play pool, you know. And I love that, man. I love the network of friends that we've created. I love the fact that, you know, that is not true. You know what I mean?
We did, like, start out believing the same thing that he said um which was you know that you can't be friends yeah that you that you can't be friends that that uh lifestyle people are like tools they're sex toys yeah you know we're gonna use them have fun have our good time and then maybe we'll see you around some people do that some people do do that yeah with that right some people that's what they do but i mean yeah we i think we start the same way where we weren't going to be friends with anybody right and then we next thing you know i got these we got our kids playing together exactly yeah yeah and i love that you at the graduations yeah i think a big part of the reason that we start off that way is out of fear because we're yeah you're afraid of catching feelings you're afraid of your partner catching feelings that one for me i felt like my friends before i got into this lifestyle the people who are my really good friends i love them i love my friends and in my mind i said but if i love somebody and i'm having sex with them then that feels like a romantic relationship it feels like it makes the love a different kind of love and i didn't understand how that would work how can i love my friends have sex with my friends but not be in love with my friends yeah feelings for my friends i i couldn't wrap my head around how that was going to work i still can't explain in words it works.
I just know it works. That was about to be my next question. Can anybody maybe put some words to how do you separate that? Can I jump in on this? No, I'm sorry. Yeah, sure. Anybody. I was going to say when my wife suggested this to me, I remember telling her, I got in this because I wanted to find new friends. That was my initial start with this. I didn't get in for the sex or any of that stuff because from how I started, from my experiences in the past of my lifestyle, I knew that my current friends, they were good, but they didn't think like how I thought. Yeah.
I couldn't talk to them about my experiences and all the wild things that were occurring with me and be able to, well, besides you. But I needed a little bit more from not being judged from, you know, my history of the things that I was doing.
So when I found this, I said I needed to get in this and find some new friends, some people that I can get along with and learn and become become closer with and relate and they understand that it's okay i think i understood in the beginning that you could love people in a in in a friendship way yep and love them and be okay with it and still interact and and share all these moments with these individuals and it'd be okay you know right when i started this that's how like when i first met you and i said i can see me talking to this guy that's my man talking from day one and then it turned into i was right with that oh okay go ahead we got to come so yes to put it to words so like this is one of my favorite words and it's compartmentalization yep like you learn to put things in a box so your friends can be your sex toys But then you can put that box away and they can also be like your best friends where yeah lifestyle with But you can also do vanilla stuff with you're getting invited to their family parties You're going to concerts together and there's no sex involved at all and like most of our really good friends I'm just like we really have vanilla friends anymore we just got married in the summer and like it was like 40% family 60% our friends swingers all of them we don't we don't we haven't had any vanilla friends and the biggest thing is like it's it's not just the sex it's the open-minded my mindset.
Where you can be yourself, and they're not going to judge you, they're not going to make fun of you. And if you have a problem in life, they're probably going to be the first people there to actually support you, because they actually really do care about you. Where you can have other friends where it's like, they might not be as good as a friend as some of the lifestyle people. They might be more of a fake friend. Can I jump on that?
Like, you're talking about fake friends i think um since we've been in the lifestyle together for what six years now right i think we have more genuine friends that are lifestyle a lot of people in this room than any of our friends previously um you know and and they were close people right and we love them but um i don't think we could be as vulnerable and open and just feel as close uh as we do with the people that we have currently in our life yeah and happen to be lifestyle yeah i understand say it it actually takes friendships to a whole nother level to a whole nother level it does something that is Something that is, I know you had something.
While y'all passing it down, I'll just comment real quick. It's like the love that I have for my wife. Okay, because we're talking about like how do you separate, you know, you were talking about how you separate those feelings of, okay, I love these people and I'm having sex with them. How do I separate that? If I'm having sex with my partner and I love her, where's the line, right? And it's just brand new. It's a brand new feeling. It's just something that you will never be able to describe unless you're there.
Like there people that um in our in our friendship circle that i have sex with and i love dearly but they'll never have the same love that i have for my wife no that's yeah i was yes and right so how do you define it uh for us this has been a conversation we've had a lot recently because we've started dating other people separately, experimenting with that. And I would struggle with, okay, I have sex with this person, I hang out with them, but they don't measure up to this relationship. This is my standard relationship.
If she told me tomorrow, like, we're done with this, I'm out, let's get out of here, right?
And so where it ended for me or where it is for me right now is there's not always there's not always escalation right we how we look at relationships we always want to take the relationship to the next step right whatever the next step is you start dating you're moving together you get married like whatever but sometimes you just have a relationship with a person and it's cool right there where it is yep and where we are now is enjoying being cool where those relationships are so yes right sex yes we're friends but we're not going to escalate to the next level right to get there's no more to go to we're just going to enjoy where we are yes yeah a revelation for me and i think it's still about being like i'm i am probably like i don't know i'm an expert at compartmentalizing like compartmentalizing emotions and all the things i i definitely can separate the two but it doesn't mean that i don't care about like my lifestyle friends or anything like that like if people if one of my friends really had a problem and you're like hey look i'm having this issue this that and the third and you needed me to come over i'll come over like like without a question i'll come over what do you want like what's going on and things like that and i will argue with you just like any other friend too if i had to right so i don't treat them like differently because i had sex with you yesterday like that's okay we did however now today is today and if you have a problem you know i'll come to you yeah so yeah i was just gonna piggyback kind of what you were saying for rick and i we've been in lifestyle for 32 years wow that's a long time wow but uh right yeah it's been a constant evolution the whole thing for sure we've gone through the roles where you know only same room okay different rooms are okay but always you know we have both at the play at the same night you know all kinds of different evolutions yeah but there's a difference i'm in love with my husband i love my friends but it's different i'm in love with him 100 i understand that yeah yeah it's like uh you know how the i know the love is different because there's nobody in this room or or lifestyle who could piss me off like her there's nobody like she knows the buttons because everybody else if they if they did the same thing it'd be like all right it whatever uh you know whatever they cool with blah but her it's like what the do you mean i don't understand you tell me please help me yeah so there's nobody so i know all the time so he's telling the truth it's definitely all right let's do another one go for another one i love Okay.
It says, once people find out that you are in a lifestyle slash swinger, they automatically internalize and assume that you are hitting on them. Yes. Or want some sort of sexual experiences with them. Yes. That's a good one. That is true. Anybody care to share on that one?
I haven't had women try to do that to me yet I'm still waiting for that moment I'll live through you guys so you know we've been doing this for a couple years now and we've shared with some of our vanilla friends you know hey you know you guys have a lot of good friends you guys have a lot of good time why don't you ever invite us out you guys go on these trips and we're like you ain't ready and so we kind of share that with them right and then i remember the first thing the husband said and these are our friends we've known for 20 something years and the first thing he said was oh because they know they you know he said oh i was thinking about that and he said um you know just let's make a pact we're we're never gonna it.
And I was like, bro, we're never going to have such a job. We're never, like, we would never, even if we introduce you to the lifestyle, like, you are vanilla friends. Yeah. We're not, we're not doing, like, our friendship is way more important than the lifestyle. But the first thing they think is like, oh, my God, you're going to try to, you know, and it's like, and then it changes.
like when now we're hanging out and it's changes a little bit because yeah they think it's this hyper yeah hypersexual yeah and you know and then we've tried to on some level like you know you try to mix you know yeah yeah co-mingle yeah you're coming you're like hey look uh-huh our lifestyle friends are just regular people right yes and then they're way over the top uh-huh yeah and our vanilla friends are like wait and we're like yeah and then we got to tell them like no no no it's we're just hanging out like we're hanging out and having a game night like we've done for 20 years like they think it's something completely different man who are you telling so we have um i think you're about to tell the same thing yeah yeah when we got in the when we got in the car, it was like, that wasn't that bad.
I'm like. No, not that one. You can have that. I don't know what that is. But one of my absolute best friends, my brother from another, his wife, they know that we are lifestyle. And they introduce us to some of their friends. And then they pull us to the side and it's like, don't fuck our friends. Yeah. Like, come on. Like, I know how to act. But if they want to, I mean, they grown.
he'll mess with them and say stuff like that right and i'm like no i was gonna bring up same people though yep i was gonna bring up we all uh were hanging out he was there we was all hanging out right and we're we're you know was out we went for drinks. You know, and we're all chilling. And everybody, majority of the people at the table, all lifestyle. Maybe I guess maybe two, three people weren't at this particular table. It is daytime in all the things of setting up the scene. It's daytime. We're having drinks. We're all like a. In a public space. In a public space outside, right?
So we invite his best friend and his wife, you know. Vanilla. Come hang out, you know, with us. We're going to go out for drinks. We have the drinks and all the things. We leave you guys to go home, and we're walking to the car. And it was like, that actually wasn't that bad.
And I'm what does that mean like what like what happened what wasn't that well you know it like all of those people and everybody was cool and it wasn't what did you think it was going to happen like we're in a public space yes everybody is is is is lifestyle what you thought was going to happen like everybody was going to be touching on each other and doing all the things no yeah i was going to exactly i was like no like literally she was like it wasn't that bad everybody was cool right i was like yeah it's kind of crazy for us because i think we thought we were being slick and our uh vanilla friends didn't know what was going on and in the several years, we had a very open relationship with a third person that some people, more of our network found out about than we intended when we started.
And no one batted the night. No one batted the night. They were like, hey, nothing changed. And so that was a revelation for us that our friends, folks that we thought would be like, oh, we can't hang out with them anymore because they didn't try to fuck us. They weren't thinking that. However, for your boy, I'm teasing because a lot of my vanilla female friends now are sliding up like, hey, what's going on with y'all? Y'all want to hang out on Friday night? It hasn't been as impactful as we thought it would be. Yeah, we got a mutual vanilla friend. Yeah, yeah.
You know I got my eye on her my eye on it you went out with her yeah our first rules when we got in it was when we started when we said we're not having sex with any of our friends that was do you remember that yeah our regular friends when we first started that and x's x's and regular friends oh have you broken the x's one oh hell yeah wow interesting no they said is it still a rule oh no no i said have you broken is it still no no oh oh no because uh it's the same way when i used to um in regular life when i used to have regular friends that used to try to come over to me all the time who were just my friends and i used to tell them i'm not having sex with you guys because it's too hard to find regular it's too hard to find right it's easy to have sex with any and everybody yeah that's not the hard part having a relationship with someone and it used to always mess things up so then i'm always one who's trying to keep my friends as friends because that's difficult i'm sure your sex game got better since then buddy don't worry i'm trying to think we've never had sex without i've i've never had sex with any i've never had sex with my friends don't no we've never had sex with friends no only lifestyle people that became our friends we haven't converted anyone no no we haven't converted no we gotta we gotta come there's yeah we've covered yeah no vanilla but like all throughout history there's always people who have like preset judgments or stigmas about people.
And just the same thing with swingers. Like that's what's going on right now. But just to show you like the same problem, different part of the spectrum. It's the same thing if you have someone who came out as being gay. And you have all the guys where they're not allowed to be on athletic teams. Exactly. This guy's going to try to. Right. Wow. Probably not. You're not my type, dude. Yeah. Yeah.
But it's all about just like for each one, each one reach one teach one you just need to have good leaders in the front and you just re-explain people and just teach them and show them okay it's not always about that like it just kind of blow people's mind sometimes that's what we're doing right now we're just telling a lot of something to go into that with the lifestyle so let me just piggyback on that in the lifestyle that happens as well so when you have like some men for example that are experimenting with other men for example that they didn't realize that that was a thing for example that they like and then all of a sudden they you know they have this experience and they come out and say it and say hey you, you know, I occasionally, um, like a little bit of a play with other med people assume that, Hey, they're going to, that means that they're going to try it.
Like if we're having a four way conversation and things kind of lead up, they're going to try to like, come on to the other husband or something like that. I'm like, no, the same rules apply. You have a conversation. Right.
And then okay these this is what it is this is what i like and this is the rules and that's it and everybody follows it regardless of like what's happening oh yeah what was that same thing with women yeah same with women yeah so i did not say anything about being bisexual to the lifestyle so then when i have vanilla girlfriends that find out like oh you're bi but wait bitch you ain't trying to fuck me like yeah because i don't like you so it's always this confusion of well you're trying it there why didn't you try with me and then i go are you bisexual and interested in me oh no no you're just supposed to come on to me and then i'm like if you don't get on out of here that's not how it works i'm gonna so it is a thing of if you if you're doing it there why haven't you tried it with us or are you sitting there thinking about me naked while we're just sitting there too i mean i am not you oh sorry shit he's like i might be my bad all the time anyway um um speaking of bi right uh i'm gonna jump in with another quick misconception that we heard at pcapping you guys have may have heard us uh mention this one in different uh in in different venues or forums or whatever but we were in a uh a workshop a seminar and a lady mentioned that she used the term bi-necessary and that's first time i ever heard it bi-necessary where she believes that in order to get the party started she had to act as if she was bisexual she there it was necessary for her to play with the girl to get the thing going that one broke my heart oh yeah that i felt terrible for her and everybody in there kind of just was like no no hell no that is wrong you know trying to make it a safe space for her without judging but let her know like you do not have to do anything that you're not comfortable you don't want to do sorry quick tangent but yes yep uh go for it that's how like my priest started off everything in church.
We're doing all this actual stuff. In the confessional, which is the original glory hall. From dinner to winter. And then the other half I learned in Boy Scouts. Thanks, everyone, for joining us. I got nothing else. You have your differences between your bisexual people.
Then you you have your trisexual people where it's like they'll try anything once you're kind of like discovering it maybe they're doing it or maybe they're just trying to do it to turn their partner on and you don't know if they're totally into or not but like it's just you gotta tell everybody just be yourself do what makes you feel comfortable never do anything that doesn't make you feel comfortable you can't go wrong can't go. Did y'all have something? Okay. Next one. Next one. Swingers just want an excuse to cheat. The male half of the partner pushed the female into the lifestyle.
Oh, yeah. That's another big one. That's an Odie McGoodie one. That is? Whoa. Speak on it. Oh, go ahead. What was that? I know it was us. I'm the reason we went in. Uh-huh. Yeah. and and the more the more you talk to when you talk to go for it say that again please i said i was saying show of hands how many of the women are the reason why we went into lifestyle i am right i'm the reason why we went in there i think it's so yeah of the crowd it looked like it was almost about half of the crowd said that the woman got it started.
And surprisingly, when you talk to more and more couples, you will see that there is a lot of women who are responsible for this. Yeah. It's interesting to doing other things there. Yeah. When I was laying in. Oh, it wasn't. No coercion. No coercion. Oh. No.
I was laying in lifestyle women run this whole thing like they control it all they everything happens yeah yeah i mean because if you leave it up to us uh-huh guys we're gonna be go all the time now is that another one though is that another misconception is that another myth that women completely run the lifestyle completely run the lifestyle? Do men have a say in it, right? You and I have been talking about this since we first got into this. I used to tell you all the time that women run this because at any moment if she says it's done, what are you going to do?
But if I did the same, if I said we're done, we're done, right? So you're saying you're going to that at some hell no that's like the panic button no no never push the panic button and then how we've been going through this for years when I always tell you have you washed their face who have you been following majority of this lifestyle journey following no as in we walk side by side uh-huh when he asked that one day, I don't know why you asked me. He said that, you know, what if I just said that I don't want us to do the lifestyle no more? I was like, I'm still going. No. I was like.
No, okay. All right. All jokes aside. All right. We're going to pause, and we're going to come right on front. What was it? It was a break. On front street. Hold on. Okay hold on okay yeah last year i called break oh yes i called break because we were just on a different beat i felt like i was going in there in the wrong direction um and you and i we just we weren't seeing eye to eye on a lot of things maybe i felt like i was going out too much and I had to prove to you. I was like, no, you come first. So we stopped. Oh, you're talking about the break. Yeah, that's what I said, the break.
That was a break. That was a break. But I'm just saying, yeah, we didn't quit. That wasn't not a quit. That was a break. But that was my decision, though. Yes, that was your decision.
So what I, and I'm only saying that to kind of dispel that myth is that it's all women and i feel like men do have some agency we do say you know um that we can claim we can our opinions matter our opinions matter what we want to do matters and yes we do have to abide by we do take care of the women we do make sure that they are safe and that they're comfortable and if they're not comfortable we're gone right we we do that that's our job to be the protectors but they also are protecting us as well whether we like it or not i know she is a lioness and she will scratch out anyone's eyes if i needed her to yeah and i And I tell them, too, like, that one's off limits.
Those types of things, you know, because I can see a train wreck sometimes, like, before it actually comes. So I'm like, no, not that one. Like, I don't care what you do and what happens, not that one. So things like that, yeah. You had something? Oh, yeah. Kim, please speak.
Oh, yeah yeah no piggybacking on the original question about having um that men are driving the force of pushing women into this all right yeah um so we met a couple at desire like a couple years ago and um we were at the pool you know you're getting people's origin stories and this guy guy he literally tells us that his he introduced his wife to the lifestyle as their honeymoon he booked a trip to hito oh oh she gets to hito and realizes that it's nude it's their hunt and so we're like what the hell like so she's she's crying she's like i'm gonna you know i didn't sign up for this like it was a whole thing so we're asking her like how did this work out you know it was a whole thing and he was like yeah it's either this is what we're doing or not he literally was telling us this right so so what you're saying it does happen and and i was surprised that this couple told us this story because i thought it was the most craziest thing ever but yeah he had been married like what it was 20 years they were older couple they were much older than us but yeah again they were at desire they've been going to pearl but their honeymoon was at hito and surprise honey we're at hito taking clothes off um no exactly that's not the norm that's not the norm no but it does happen it does and now that you mention that you actually reminded me of a story um that um that happened here it happened here it was uh for like a halloween night you remember that we were at the bar yes and um you know there was a guy like waiting behind us and he was like rapping with us and you could see like the the young lady his partner she was kind of like timid like kind of looking like a deer in the headlights ears swimming huh yeah because he kept trying to throw on me oh yeah wow and uh we asked was this their first time and he said yeah and she like, I didn't know we were coming here.
Yeah. You know, and she was terrified. And I don't know your experience with that particular couple. But, yeah, it looks like he surprised her. Hey, we're going to a costume party, get sexy, and then brought her to a swinger club. Yeah. I was like, I'm good. Yeah. He kept talking and kept trying to get her to come over there and interact with me. And I could just see the fear. You know how I'm always saying, are you looking at her face? Are you seeing what's happening? Right. Right. And he just was, he just kept trying to go. You know me, I'm not up into any of this. You got that one? Yep.
Let's see. another misconception is going to a sex club and assuming it's a free for all uh that a free for all if play is happening i was a unicorn in a threesome and a random dude or male came up and slapped his dick on me oh no and tries to finger me i had to check him quit and. Consent is key. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Orgies are not a free-for-all. No, they're not. That's another key here. A permission slip to enter. That's the fear that a lot of women that I hear when all of us have play with a number of people in the room.
And I know she expresses a lot of the fear of individuals just coming up and touching individuals without speaking trying to insert themselves into uh the yeah see i'll let you go to the situation yeah because first of all there's a there's a lot already going on in your mind with so many people around if you are not the person that is an exhibitionist if you're opening yourself up and you're out there playing around and there are people that think oh just because you're naked you're in the moment i'm in here too i'm just gonna stick my hand in here i'm just gonna stick my dick in a place i'm gonna stick my boob in a place without even talking to anybody right that shit is for the birds what do we use to to help that babe like in an orgy situation in a multi-couple situation we do a circle of consent how does that help what is it and how does it help um so what it is is i mean we you can do it if you just if it's just four people or however many people but especially when you get up to six eight you know and more you want to have is literally we sit down and in however circle whatever the case but we sit down and before there's any sexual activity going on we individually go around the circle and say hey what what are you into like for tonight in this moment right now not yesterday not last year like what are you into what are your heart tonight and what is your heart knows for right now because that's important because you can be talking about oh we got this rule that the rule from when you know and and what you may have been in the mood for two hours ago may be different from right now so we do that and we go around the room and that gives people the ability also who's performing performing not literally performing but that gives everyone an understanding of where like each person is that is that's within, that's going to be participating.
And I swear to Beans, whenever there's a night like that, that is the only serious moment of the whole night. No, it is. It really is. That is the most serious moment of the whole night. And then everybody gets back into it. Gets back into it. And then it's like, and action. Go back. We run a swingers group ourselves, and we often host- Plug them, plug them. Go for it. Oh, they're called the Panda Whores, and- Yeah. And- If anybody's familiar with the Panda Room. Holy shit, is that you? Oh, wait. Yeah. I got that one. That's us. Oh, shit. A little side note.
you know what they call a group of pandas no an embarrassment what one of the misconceptions that we have directed at us because you you know, in the panda room, it gets all it's pretty much a guaranteed orgy. But a lot of people think that that we only play that way.
And, you know, a lot of times people think that if it's not a big, huge bunch of us, um then they're we're never gonna like you know be with them right we don't even get like a chance with them because they have that uh that conception that conception yeah and i honestly thought that was the only way you guys played until i started seeing you guys yes and then to to piggyback on top of that like we've had it where inside like our orgies and stuff like that like I'll be with somebody else not her playing with her and then sometimes you get a guy coming in with like bad etiquette where he's just like starts like touching her or like hey can I like fuck her and I'm just like she's not it's not my body she's not why are you asking me she's asking her but after a while it's like in our in the panda room like we police our own and the thing is like the great thing about our group is like it's so big everybody looks out for each other so we're always looking out for consent things or someone acting out of pocket or trying to be sneaky and doing something they're not supposed to do so like that's right looking out for each other i love it man so we oh um we got one more comment and then we're going to take just two more and uh yeah we want to start wrapping it up we'll're going to click on that comment.
I think that leads to, I don't know if that's a different myth. I'm sorry if I'm changing. No, go for it, man. Let's go. But the idea that you got to play in a person's play style to be with them is something that I get annoyed about a little bit because people don't ask questions. For a long time, we wouldn't tell people that we full swapped because it felt like when we said that, it was like Thank you.
a little bit because people don't ask questions so yeah um for a long time we wouldn't tell people that we full swapped because it felt like when we said that it was like all right let's get naked yes going now right maybe we're there on that night exactly right and so what i've come to realize is that we do a lot of things which are small group now post-pandemic and there'll be four people in a room who don't even want to be touched uh-huh we're just as comfortable in that room and someone might have sex next to them but doesn't mean that you have to be in the same play space or have the same style to like hang out with people to be at the same event and so we really it's about vibes right i want to be around people with good vibes yeah and you might get naked with me but we might never touch each other and that's cool and we can have a great night that That's a good one.
I think that's a good one. That was a good one. That's great. He's like, no, because just really quick. But remember we were at a party and it was me, you, and Trist all in the kitchen naked talking. With chilling. Chilling. I'm telling you those are the best kind of parties. He's just like naked walking around drinking a sprite that's the best well we wanted to like you know make sure that we um were able to copy those nights to to be able to take pictures and that's how the panda horse started because we were like we are we're all professional.
So I would put on a panda head and take as many pictures as you want. Yeah. I love it. And then to piggyback on one more comment, we kind of circled back to an earlier one.
It's like the best thing about the Panda is like some swinger clubs and hotel takeovers, like they had a very cliquish thing and a very cultural thing where there was a black and white divide and there was a Ken and Barbie versus the rest of the the crowd sure like the best thing about like the parent is on top of being embarrassment it's like we're black we're white we're asian like everybody can come in sneakers part of our like personal mission statement is like we're gonna rip down like the old culture the old clique the way of doing things and we're to rebuild it a new way in a positive way and like that's one that we just kept our rooms open we've developed great friendships we're kind of the people who might have been intimidated to talk to someone else we can help bridge that gap like no they're cool here i'll come make an introduction with you i definitely i've seen your room i've seen the panel and you made it out alive no i just walked back and i was like okay but yeah no i was just gonna we're gonna do two more cars but that was one more thing i wanted to just say just real quick so that um people on our previous show or if you if you've heard me say it in person that i have a thing uh that i just like i i like to dom people and i like to particularly step on people occasionally however here's the thing is that when i said it like people were coming oh you can't do that to me i didn't say i was right that's the only thing i like i didn't say that i didn't say that i was trying to like some of our friends was like no no no no we can't we can't do that it It's like, I didn't ask you to.
Your shoes look very sharp. Yes. So that was kind of like a thing for a little bit, especially with some of our friends. They kept saying, like, oh, no, I don't want to play like that. I was like, I didn't ask you to play. Yeah, but so, all right. Let's see, one of the cards says that Swinger Red Flex, communication is key. Oh, wait. Oh, two-way street. They mentioned that.
Oh, talked about this and this is two-way street not a one-way street we talked about that yeah all right so go for this one he says lifestyle means you are bored at home oh no it doesn't it doesn't yeah we talked about that yeah we kind of talked about that one yeah let's let's do it let's do one more one more oh we got it a good one. All right, let's see. Bad advice. Figure out a dynamic that works for you and stick with it. Instead, couples could revisit rules and agreements regularly to talk about what is working and what isn't. That's right. It's like none of this stuff is set in stone.
It's not. If there's anything and i've learned trist is that um keeping an open mind is always the best keeping this thing kind of fluid we got boundaries and things that we know that we i'm not gonna say never but we got we got certain boundaries that probably won't shift that probably won't shift um i think protection is one of them, right? Yeah. You know, but then there are other things that we keep fluid. We're learning. We're always changing. Like, we discovered that you have a dom side, you know, and that's been fun. That's been fun.
So if we were closed off on a lot of that shit we would have never crossed crossed those those bridges man and opening the doors for you go for it and that's coupled with the communication because how would you ever know that she had that side if the two of you hadn't entered into a conversation right yeah 100 you have to be brave enough and vulnerable enough to open up that conversation have that conversation ask the questions or just come right out and say oh hey by the way i realized i have a dom side wait what all right let's talk about it that's new that's new to me let's talk about it and the key to being vulnerable is that how will the other person react to that approach it it.
If she had said, I have a dom side, and you said, that's it, we're getting a divorce, that's my, she would never be vulnerable with you ever again. But because you said, whoa, okay, let's talk about that. Let's explore that together. Exactly. Exactly. I appreciate that. Yeah, for sure. Go ahead, babe. I'm sorry. No. That's kind of how we got even into this whole lifestyle when she, as I was laying in bed watching TV and she just said, I'm interested in exploring my bi-side. And I just looked over and said, do go on. I'll turn off the TV. I'll turn the TV off.
You cannot scare the deer with these type of things. I just wanted to see what her interests were. And that's how that progressed. And much like even when we came from Temptations last year, we just started talking more. And I said, what are we really doing in all this?
Where do we see see ourselves what would you like to evolve into let's we we learn a lot of things late let's explore more let's talk more let's be more open and let's let's enjoy this to to the fullest extent of what we can do yeah i mean you know we we have mentored a lot of people through the years we've had many groups we've done a lot of different things so Let's, as we wind down these years, let's make it about us. Let's wind down these years. You know? I mean, you are old. But turning it about us. Let's make it about us as much as we can, you know? I mean, you are old.
But turning it back up. So I think that's probably a great way to wrap that up. I think that was well said. Thank you, everyone. Yeah, again, I'd like to thank Vicky of Taboo Social Club. And, of course, I'd like to thank all of the live sweet talkers here. We really appreciate y'all making time, coming through. Yes. Now go get dressed and get sexy. Yes, yes. Put in sneakers. Let's do it. Sneaker ball. Thank y'all again. Y'all have a great night. Talk to yes. But in sneakers. Let's do it. Sneaker ball. Yep. Thank y'all again. Y'all have a great night. Talk to you later. Good night.
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