We have fun with the Suite-Talker community about which swinger terms might be a bit outdated and may be in the need of modernizing. For example: SWINGER ! (We know...we used it in our last episode title!)Soft/Full SWAPVanillaAnd a few more!Feel free to let us know your thoughts!As always, thanks for listening!Tabu Sneaker Ball: September 17!Suite Bliss in Temptation Grand Miches: December 28 - January 2, 2023!Casual Swinger Week at Hedonism: April 1 - 8, 2023!Foambusters.com!Be sure to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!Check out our show and MANY others on FullSwapRadio!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: [email protected] us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
hey what's up sweet talkers just wanted to give you a quick little disclaimer about the sound quality at around the 35 minute mark or so you guys going to hear a little change in how things sound because our SD card on our recorder ran out but thankfully we were able to convert the sound from our YouTube into mp3 so you'll hear a little bit of a sound change but the content is still the same still a bunch of dope conversations and a lot of laughs we hope you enjoy the episode thanks living the sweet life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only we'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes so if you're under the age of 18 please stop listening also please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice we're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle from newbies to long-time swingers or if you're just curious we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex positive discussion now that we've got that out of the way make yourself comfortable in this episode of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my sexy chocolate husband and thank you again for joining us in episode 68 of living the sweet life man almost 69 and that's right we got to plan something naughty for that one um but yeah man tonight's gonna be a fun one we've been looking forward to this one this one's been in the burner for uh for a minute man tonight we're gonna be talking about outdated swinger quote-unquote swinger terms that we think it's time to retire in our humble opinion absolutely it's been a debate for a while for us talking back and forth i mean you know who are we to decide when it's time to retire some terms but i mean i think they should be up for discussion at the very least tonight absolutely you know i'm saying so we got some good stuff there um it's gonna be fun we hope to keep it light-hearted and have a good little discussion about a few of these things and want to hit we definitely want to hear some of your ideas um whether you are listening on a podcast or if you're watching us on youtube leave us some comments let us know some of the terms that you might be tired of hearing or that you think are a little outdated or played out or whatever we're just playing corny yeah right right let us know man right um and we're gonna we're gonna have some fun with it black and kinky lifestyle checking in early hey guys you know what's going on check out their podcast summer that's right yeah hopefully y'all enjoyed the summer hopefully i got a a banging uh fall and winter coming up i know right yeah wishing y'all the best man um appreciate y'all checking in check Check out their podcast, Black and Kinky Lifestyle.
Let's see. So, yeah, that's going to be tonight's show, man. So, yeah, we're going to talk about some outdated terms. Let us know if you have any. Feel free to comment on us. Let us know if we're wrong or right or whatever you're feeling on it. yes definitely join the live chat and let us know that's right that's right so let's knock out some housekeeping follow us on instagram at the sweet life podcast and follow us on twitter at sweet life pod Definitely join the live chat and let us know. That's right. That's right. So let's knock out some housekeeping.
Follow us on Instagram at the Sweet Life Podcast and follow us on Twitter at Sweet Life Pod. Also, thanks a lot to everybody who is listening on Full Swap Radio. If you are not, make sure you go ahead and download the app. Check out the website. Ton of content over there. Those guys are doing great things. Pretty awesome folks, by the way. The Suite Life is going to be taking over Taboo. Taboo Social Club that's located near Baltimore in Catonsville, Maryland. That's right. We are going to be having their first annual sneaker ball, man. We're hosting it side-by-side with Mr.
Dependable and Paradise. That's right. That's a beautiful, sexy couple, man. They're going to be celebrating their anniversary. We're going to be kicking it with them and they friends and our friends and hopefully y'all friends. Yes. So come on through. Come have some fun, man. Some of the sweet talkers kicking it with them, right? Man, we've been trying to figure out what we're going to be wearing. Yeah. So I took out something I think I'm going to wear. I haven't actually put it all together yet, but I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to figure it out. I still think I may do two outfits.
I don't know yet. Yes, yes. You know, that's a good question. You got to have the pregame sexy, you know, formal attire. Cute. Yeah, yeah, the cute thing. And then I may turn into the sexy. Yeah. You know? You're going to keep the sneakers on though right mistress i don't know you should keep the sneakers on keep the sneakers on i like your heels your heel game is fire you know keep the sneakers on in my in my fire yeah like lingerie please yeah give me give me a shot let me see what that look like let me see how that feel feel. Okay. You know? Maybe. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be hot.
So we got that. That is what? September 17th. So we only got a couple of weeks left, man. I know. We got a couple of weeks to figure it out. Don't worry. I know how to point, click, and add to my shopping cart. You're famous for that one. Get that shit done. To get it done. So next year, early 2023. Oh, let me not skip over the end of this year. The end of this year, we're going to Temptation Grand Meaches. Yes. That's going to be December the 28th to January 2nd. That's right. Going down to the Dominican Republic to get naked and hang out and meet some people.
Hopefully we're going to meet some of y'all down there and see the new resort. That's right. Brand spanking new resort. Their first new year's party. We going to be there and we're going to be there. And if you're there, come through, say hi. That's right. We're going to have our, we're going to have our masks. We'll have a backup masks. We will have the back for one of the theme nights. And y'all going to know who we are.
We'll make sure we do some Instagram stuff and let y'all know when we're gonna be out there and all that stuff as long as they got the wi-fi already i know there are so many unknowns i'm hoping that we have some friends going to october that they're still going so i can kind of know yes what's happening right right that's a good point that's a good point so don't forget about casual swingers trip to hito yes in 2023 april 1st through the 8th we're gonna be there we are going to be there we don't know when i don't know when yet yeah because i didn't do my homework assignment this week you didn't i will do it i promise i will do it we're going uh but yeah again that's what casual swingers they're going to be at hito april the 1 through the 8th.
We're also going to be joining on their trip. We just don't. We just got to earn our dates. The front end or the back end. That's what I call it. The front or the back. Which one you prefer, babe? The back. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. So, yeah, man. Okay. Yeah, that's all the housekeeping stuff.
Y'all know know where to find us thank y'all for everybody who pushed play on your favorite podcast catcher we appreciate all the listens we appreciate the loyalty we appreciate everybody jumping in the the suite tonight and uh thanks for everybody who's checking us out on youtube by the way y'all we got 500 subscribers on youtube YouTube's been creeping up. And we spend more time on our social media trying to do that. And then just the other day, we realized that we have actual people that's looking at you, which is good, right?
Because we do a live show, which makes total sense to actually look at the videos, right? Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, man. That's pretty cool. We appreciate all the subscribers. I appreciate it all. It'd be dope if y'all jumped in when we hit the live, but that's okay. I'm okay with it. Yes, definitely. Thank everyone for viewing the videos because we do a live show and we take the time to actually make the videos.
And everyone that listens online, if you're looking at the live feed now uh for the i call it the pre during joe um thanks everyone yeah thanks to everybody man and swingers help check out their website y'all swingers help they just what they are swingers help help um they say woohoo congrats hey thank y'all we really appreciate that we really appreciate it well we definitely appreciate all of y'all support y'all not gonna like this uh conversation swingers help Let's go.
they say woohoo congrats hey thank y'all we really appreciate that we really appreciate it uh we definitely appreciate all of y'all support y'all not gonna like this uh conversation swingers help but we're gonna have some fun y'all hope y'all take this uh with a grain of salt and keep it light-hearted we're gonna have a good time talking about um outdated lifestyle terms and all that so here we go but first y'all know what it is before we get into all the craziness all the sexiness all the naughtiness i always got to check in with the queen i gotta make sure she is doing fine make sure we in the right place right baby yes so trist my beautiful queen how you feeling i'm feeling you know creative and and just ready to go actually i'm about to go right now hey guys see you later join the chat on the live the the live link the it's in the link of the bio that's right that's right swinger help says they reaching for the tequila oh yeah okay now that's all said done okay so back to business how you feeling all right how am i feeling um so you guys have heard me talk about in the past uh some past episodes actually a few episodes where i've talked about uh me venturing out into doming and kind of liking stepping on people well i'm feeling frisky lately the last time i actually got to do any doming was in june and i know right that sounds like oh it was in june but to me that was a long time ago that was a while ago like it was it was a while ago you haven't stepped on any balls in quite a while i didn't step on no balls in june i did dom a unicorn but it was it was a female yeah that was so that was different that was fun but um i would like to you know get back into doming i'm I don't know.
june i did dom a unicorn but it was it was a female yeah that was so that was different that was fun but um i would like to you know get back into doming i'm feeling inspired what inspired you oh so we're watching uh well we're finishing watching the netflix series uh sex how to build a sex room is what it's called um which any building i like building stuff anyway so it kind kind of, it ties in with the sexy part, doming and building, you know, something. So all of it's kind of like hitting all of my. All your buttons. All of them. All your little fun buttons.
Give me all the tingles everywhere, right? All at one time.
So, but because of just that, and plus we've been talking about some other stuff um kind of trying to figure out some other things uh before we started watching the show and i was just like you know what i'm feeling a little dummy now like i i'm ready to do something i don't know what what is going to be yet but i am ready for the participants to come in yeah to open that door yeah like uh watching that show with you yeah it's been fun like uh because the creative juices are getting flowing we're getting inspired you're getting inspired and that inspires me to just be like yeah yes yes just take my money and do whatever like let's let's get it done yes we want to build a sex room now yeah well we have we've always had an extra room but we never knew what we were going to do with that room but now we think we know we're going to do some naughty i mean we literally paused the show and ran downstairs with wine glasses the baby was like by herself we ran downstairs to go like see the space like we had to see okay if we bump out this wall by like one more foot we could put a fucking cage like right here it's a mess right yes who needs this space in the laundry room what the laundry room we don't need all that space and we can put a door over here a little peephole over here it's a mess Needs this space in the laundry room.
Fuck the laundry room. We don't need all that space. And we could put a door over here. Yeah. A little peephole over here. It's a mess. Yeah, that shit was hot. It was a hot mess. That was fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun trying to figure it out. But, yeah, we're going to figure it out eventually. Yeah, we are. Because we've been having social events at home, you know, some of our close friends. And it would be easier to have a space space like a room that we don't have to keep setting up and breaking down and things like that.
And guys, they even have furniture that you can make portable, which is a St. Andrew's Cross, which is fire actually amazing that you can get them portable, meaning that you could collapse them so that if you do have, you know, you got to move it. Some some worker got to come do some work in that room or whatever it is. I could collapse that down and it's not a whole big deal. Like, why the hell do you have a big old ex in the room? Right. Or anything like that. But, yeah, so I'm feeling that. And then the other thing happened. So, like, it randomly mentions. My eyes got big.
He's like, oh, you know, babe, you got to have a spank bank. Now, do any of you guys on the live chat know what a spank bank is? Because I looked at him. I was like, what? Everybody knows what a spank bank is. He's like, yes. I'm surprised. You have a spank bank. You being in this industry for three years now, you have never heard the term spank bank no well while people are kind of figuring out what you're talking about oh see uh swingers help says that's more of a term for guys see because i'm sitting here like i don't know what that is i idea what you're talking about.
Well, what is it then? So a spank bank, apparently, is like you take pictures and videos and you have them in, I guess, a photo? Oh, look at that. Look at Duchess Cashmere checking in and says, I have one. Bam! Okay. Yeah, go ahead, Queen.
So maybe, you know, it's not just for guys, but I had no idea what else i'm so confused what you're talking about but yeah it's apparently you save pictures and videos so that you can come back when you need to get inspired or masturbate oh okay that's before okay okay yes bank all right that's right no i mean it's it's why you take the sexy pictures you take your sexy pictures because it's hot or your sexy videos it's hot it's i mean you're my favorite porn star why wouldn't i want to have spank you know a collection of you in naughty situations to uh pleasure myself when you are unavailable this is very true i guess it makes sense when you explained it but i was like just unaware that that was a term and check out duchess cashmere the griot erotica i got that right didn't i duchess don't forget to check out her podcast the cashmere room podcast she says it saves time searching for the right one god right.
Who needs the hub when I can just go to my photo library? I learned something. You know what I'm saying? I learned that yesterday, actually. I'd be remiss if I didn't say hello to our friends Red and Ready on Twitter. What's up, people? Hi, guys. Hot people. Man, we got a nice little crew here. We got a nice little squad in here tonight. Spank bank. All right.
I'm'm gonna build up your spank bank i guess yeah i need to i need to up my game because i had no idea so y'all heard that right so start sending tris naughty photos and for my spank bank that's right you are a mess all right so lot my dear how are you feeling well tris you know, I feel the same as you, but like on the other side of that. We were talking yesterday while we were watching the show and about how you were, they responded and said that we'll get right on that. That's right. Please send her everything. Love it.
About, you know, we were watching show and and all the cool little dom sub stuff that they were doing all the cool little um bdsm designs they were doing in everybody's houses and you were talking about how you were kind of feeling a little dummy right you you know we got some some folks on the line that we're trying to you know iron out the kinks and deep kinks, so to speak, and the details so that we can get you back in that space. And I mentioned to you yesterday that I'm feeling a little subby. You did. I'm feeling a little subby these days, right? Yes.
I haven't kind of climbed back out into that switch space, right?
I'm feeling this little subby kind of action right now and i have a very specific fantasy that i will share with you with you all i shared it with trish last night um so yeah it's a new fantasy alert we need to get like a sounder for a new fantasy alert so here we go new fantasy alert my fantasy is to be in a group situation um and i want to i want to kind of get completely just disrespected like disregarded like i i want to be this is this is bananas to me anyway i want to be in a group situation where we're very comfortable with the people that we're around you know maybe people we've played with before I like that comfortability.
I want to be in a group situation where we're very comfortable with the people that we're around, you know, maybe people we've played with before. I like that comfortability. I want to be in a comfortable situation where there's no expectation of play, but it could happen. Right. So that tension is in the air. And I just imagine myself kind of laid out on the floor.
Like, let's say we're listening to music or watching TV or looking at the stars or whatever it is and i'm just like laid out on the floor on my back chilling and a woman is like having a conversation with someone across the room they're just talking minding their business and as she's talking she just kind of walks over steps over my head and just comes down and sits on my face while she's talking without without breaking her conversation without breaking eye contact with the person that she's talking to just completely disrespected me just you know what i'm saying just come and just sit on my face and just make me just go to work put her hand on my head the whole nine and i'll know what to do at that point but i don't know there's something about just i don't know being in that position that just it's fire me up it's a new little fantasy i got yes so yeah we're gonna close out the new fantasy we have that yeah how'd that make you feel how'd that make you feel babe you know i think that it'll be good to see oh it'd be nice to see yes yeah okay would you laugh would i no i laughed when you first said it because i thought you were playing like at first definitely not it did i was like okay he said no i actually wrote my eyes and i was like and he's like you where do you wrote in your ads at and i was like because i thought like literally you were like messing around but um no i i mean i'm i'm here for it you know i'm here for you to get your fantasies fulfilled babe i appreciate that i think that that's still within reason it's within reason yes all right cool i like it i'm here for it and uh i'm waiting i'll just be laying around wherever we are waiting i'm just gonna lay on the floor waiting at dinner and see if anybody comes squat over me goodness gracious oh say it's the sweet talker says they just learned what a spank thing is it's not that commonly known babe it is welcome to the party y'all oh right all right then so without further ado my beautiful sweet talkers my wonderful wife are y'all ready to get to tonight's episode.
Let's do it. Let's go. I said you. Time it, man. I was looking. let's do it let's go thanks for hanging in there everyone we really appreciate you guys sticking around for the rest of episode 68 uh tonight again we are going to be talking about updating a few lifestyle terms for 2023 and beyond and again this is just our humble opinion y'all we just having some fun we're gonna kick the can around we're gonna see what's going on see what y'all thinking okay i just said and beyond isn't it like star trek or something don't they say that sure why not 2023 and beyond.
Isn't this like Star Trek or something? Don't they say that? Sure. Why not? 2023 and beyond. So, okay. How long has the idea of swinging been around? It's been around for a long, long time. We did a little quick research earlier today. Just some preliminary stuff. Just to be able to talk about this a little bit.
Been since like the 1950s that's about 70 years and a lot of these terms a lot of stuff that we're using it might have been there since the beginning there's no way to really kind of search um you know when did the term soft swap and full swap come about i don't know nobody really knows but let's just assume that a lot of these terms have been around for a very long time so it might need a little facelift we might need to start working on some different ideas and the thing is we don't have any solutions right now not for a lot of them but we want to get the conversation started we want to see what y'all think um so again yeah a lot of these these terms have been around even though some of the concepts have changed um but we still use the same terms and people are even thinking a lot differently now um so okay in one of our earlier episodes like bonus episode number one that was like may of 2019 long long time ago yeah we sound like babies we did we sound we sound young in the game and terrified to it yeah we listened to the episode today actually um i mean thank you guys for listening to the bonus episode we're just saying that we listened to it today and i was like oh my gosh that just doesn't that sound great no i mean there were moments i was just afraid to curse yes i could tell he was like really pausing yeah and i was like what in the world like i was like i don't like i don't like this episode that well i thought it was funny yeah i just thought it was more funny behind the scenes real quick side note truth be told we did a couple of pre-recorded episodes before we did that bonus episode and i cursed way too much he did and tris made me self-conscious about it that's exactly what happened so and then he was trying too much to like pull back i was like no just talk right regular i just talk like you normally talk yeah yeah so right okay so back to bonus episode one may 2019 we covered a bunch of commonly used lifestyle terms that we thought might have been helpful at that time.
We wanted our our future listeners to, you know, if we start talking about, you know, vanillas, we wanted to give like a little quick dictionary so you'll know what we're talking about. What happened? OK, so.
so let's go ahead we're gonna get started right out the gate with a big one and again swinger help we love y'all but it's the term swinger yeah so what immediately comes to mind trist when you hear the word swinger or swinging If I hear the word swinger somebody uses the word swinger i automatically think that they think it's like raunchy and dirty um and that people that are cheating on their wives or husbands and you just have an open marriage you know they make it sound so just dirty i don't know when they say it they're like ew swinger that's how it comes across when you hear other people use it that's not in the lifestyle right swinger help replies and says libertine help it does it's not as catchy so and i think that's the benefit of the term swinger you know in this case you know exactly what you're getting into right yeah you hear the word you know exactly what you're getting into swingers help you know you need help with this swinging shit you know who to turn to yes all right but we're gonna continue having this good conversation i want to have fun with this again we love y'all um hey we got some other wonderful sweet talkers joining in the mix how y'all doing hey guys miss you guys um so that term you know the term the whole concept of swinging has been around since the 1950s and it was like from what i saw it was a term used to describe how people would they thought that you were swinging from bed to bed and And that's how people still think about it.
That's what I was going to ask you. Is that true? No, that's not true. I mean, I'm sure it's true in theory in some situations. I'm not going to say 100% it is not true. That's not what I mean. Sure. That it is not true for the majority of swinging when you go to events and you go to resorts that's not majority of how it is yes you have elements that that are there right um you may have little small groups or or different type of parties that have those elements indeed right but that does not that's not swinging like that's that's not what every majority. That's not what everyone's doing.
Right. So, yeah, there are again, like you mentioned, there are people who enjoy going from bed to bed to bed. Fine. Yeah. Cool. Whatever. Not knocking your hustle. No. But we're just wondering if that term covers everyone. Right. That term covers. OK. OK. How about this?
What's the alternative here we have an alternative we got other um ways to describe people who are in these open relationships and open marriages and have this open free thinking kind of situation uh in in in their life right and what is that that's the e and m but i still don't so because even when you say open marriage what is e and m hold on okay take a step sorry ethical non-monogamy yes ethical non-monogamy that is the umbrella catch-all to people who are open uh have open relationships or open marriages who do not think in the i hate to say normal right in the historical whatever Thank you.
have open relationships or open marriages who do not think in the I hate to say normal right the historical whatever it is context of marriage and relationships yes and it still is not open that's what I'm saying because open is still a part of being E&M right when you're saying open relationship that's a that's also a different type of element that kind of falls under like the lifestyle right um with that so there's e&m is a newer term that you're that i'm hearing a lot more um that's being used however uh duchess says that she's uh prefers e&m yeah uh that's as much as i comment on at this time oh commit to at this time okay so but here's the thing i was listening And I'll see at this time.
Oh, commit to at this time. Okay, so but here's the thing. I was listening to a radio station the other day, right? And they just happened to mention the term E&M. And then they had callers call in and kind of like talk about, oh, you know, I'm in, me and my partners or partner, we're doing E&M because we just, you know, we want to be able to date other people and they understand that we have an understanding of what that's going to be like. And we talk about it and was very open and all of these things. Right.
And then the host says, oh, so you're basically a swingeringer and they're like oh no i'm not a swinger i'm in e and m like dude i swear to you e and m it's not a new thing and then the way that they were saying it is what i had a problem with because you're saying e and m is a is a newer term right we can use that as swinging. I like the new term. I don't like it for these new people, let's say that, that's using it like as if it's different. Okay. All right. So let's dissect this. Because you and I, we were having a really good discussion about it.
And we discovered that you don't have an issue with the term ethical non-monogamy no you have a problem with it with people replacing swinger with ethical non-monogamy but discounting the word swinger like it doesn't apply yeah it don't that that does not that's not what i'm doing that doesn't apply to me right it still, you're just changing the words. So, okay, let's go back to the beginning of this discussion then. Does swinger apply to everyone, right? Because we're saying the term came from swinging from bed to bed to bed. And we were just saying two seconds ago that that's not everyone.
So that person who called in on the line maybe thinking that way they don't swing from bed to bed right they probably feel they have an open relationship they have boundaries they have things that they have you know protocols that they you know rules and boundaries in their relationship so they feel like they don't qualify as that swinger right you can say that yes absolutely but i'm saying like in 2022 because you use a new term for something that has already been around and you're trying to make it sound so different so does the term have a bad reputation now swinger that is it's a swinger yes it still has the same represent representation that people think is like this dirty word, right?
But essentially, you're just saying that this E&M is a cleaner word, but I'm still doing the same exact thing as someone that's a swinger that's under that swinging umbrella or lifestyle umbrella, right?
But I'm just going to say i'm an em and that makes it all different well tris and there are a couple of contradictions happening in this conversation because you agree with me that swinger isn't everyone no i'm saying that if you want to use an old 1950s term right as far as swinging that's not what my definition of swinging is right that's just not what i look at as a swinger it's not that okay let's toss in the third one then the the big one the other Thank you.
my definition of swinging is right that's just not what i look at as a swinger it's not that okay let's toss in the third one then the the big one the the other big one lifestyle does that make you more comfortable the is if this person said if okay our lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy transferable if i'm i'm in the lifestyle it's not as dirty as swinger quote unquote and i want to make sure i did air quotes for my youtube people y'all people on the podcast i didn't see that but air quotes definitely over the word dirty right people perceive the word swinger to have that you know bed to bed you know no restrictions kind of idea but when you say lifestyle it sounds a little sexier it sounds a little classier you're holding your pinky up when you're drinking your drink yeah you're just dressing up this is the same thing though that's all you're doing but it and it's fine and i'm saying that i don't have a problem with lifestyle, E&M.
I don't have a problem with those terms. My issue only comes into play is when people feel like, no, I am E&M. I am not, you know, this, like, ew. But you are. We're just using a different term for something to make it sound cleaner. Let's say that. Let's say cleaner than a swinger. Right. The actual word swinger. Yeah. But you still, however. Trish, you bouncing back and forth in your logic, baby. I'm not.
Because I'm not, I don't have a problem with like any of them swinging lifestyle or emm right i have no issue with any of those terms being used for what you're doing because all of it is saying that you're not in a monogamous um relationship right right it's all saying that so we understand that they're all three saying the exact same thing but one sounds dirtier than the other yes that's all it is it's what i'm saying okay let's read some people's yeah so all right hold on yeah i'm sorry go ahead go ahead you got it says uh facts the same what i'm saying they are the same so uh swinger has a bad reputation to it and that's why more people want to use e and m-huh yep um another sweet talker says the definition has evolved it has uh it said they also say no because enum is an umbrella term that includes poly open swinging etc yeah exactly yeah the umbrella term that's right that's right and then another uh sweet talker responds and says um people say that lifestyle sounds like a cult how do y'all feel about that one does your lifestyle sound like a cult like a a crew that you got to get um sworn in you know i'm in the lifestyle lifestyle like how do you get a part of that i can hear that i can see that how do you do that uh and duchess says i like it because it's vague i like that right the vague the vague leaves room for interpretation yes um another sweet talker responds and says totally agree with trist People choose the words because of the connotation they believe exists, not necessarily because of the actual definition.
That's right. Yeah. And then Dutchess says, today can be poly, tomorrow a swinger. Ooh. Well, true. Poly people will tear your ass up. They shall. Them poly folks, man, they have it defined. They got definitions for every kind of situation. You got, what is it, table, tabletop? Thank you.
them poly folks they man they have yes it defined they got definitions for every kind of sit you got what is it table table top i don't even listen i ain't gonna get in no no i'm not gonna do that because i don't want them getting me that just says i know right yeah they're gonna get us if we go if we go about it wrong all respect to poly yeah do y'all thing but they do they have very very specific you know relationship dynamics and solo poly it's so many different variations to poly um you know and that i couldn't even get into that um and duchess cashmere also says that e and m is everything that's right it covers everything so people so if you go on like dating sites like straight up dating sites like what okay cupid and that's what these people are talking about right so you go on like dating sites, like straight up dating sites, like what?
OKCupid, Field, all that. And that's what these people are talking about. Right. So you go on there, everybody, so many people, E&M, like one of the first things you see in people's descriptions. So this thing is like, it's everywhere. And I think we're kind of shedding that swinger label.
You're kind of shedding it it's it's okay trish you kind of roll your eyes there but did i yeah so this wasn't intentional hold on but this is what the conversation is right what's the next what's the evolution of these terms the next evolution of swinger whether it's the same or not is maybe e and m it's lifestyle it's ethical non-monogamy it's whatever this generation might be comfortable with saying but it means the same the same thing you know for the most part right minus a few different variations or you know whatever it is but yeah so okay cool that was fun we did we did a lot for that one.
Okay. Oh, this is one more question though. And I didn't read this to you in our pregame. So which would you prefer to be described as if you were outed? Let's say living the sweet life got a million views, bam, just like that. And a million followers, bam, just like that.
And somebody says bam just like that and somebody says that this lady trist or you know that guy lock says something very controversial and we're on the news now they're going to describe us as something what would you prefer them to describe you as a swinger or an ethically non-monogamous couple it It's none of that damn business. You made me go through all that. It's none of your business. Just so you could piss on my description. No, I will play the game. So, I just wanted to say that. I'm like, why do I care? Fair. It's just a married couple. I agree with this. We're talking to you.
It's a happily married couple because that's what we are love it that's right yeah i don't think that what i do in my bedroom is your business like what if you if you have questions of course about the show and things like that we can talk about that but as far as why we're doing what we're doing is i don't need to explain that to other people love it like i don't i will explain to my kids that's what i was going to say next what about if you're coming out to the kids how would you describe it how would you tell your kids how would you define what you not what we are but what we do oh i would probably just say that you know this is the thing that we like to do for fun.
Um, but we really love each other. I don't know. I would be totally weird and just uncomfortable. I know. I know who would do all the talking. You would probably be the one talking. But in all seriousness, I think I would definitely I'm pretty sure I would say we are ethically non-monogamous.
I would say that the kid okay you know ethical we're doing it by the books like we're we're not cheating on each other you know and non-monogamous we have other friends and other partners yes i think it it it's nice and tidy easy way for a kid to like to understand to digest it yeah and just say that you know we're not this is not something we we do behind each other's back but that's right the term would be an easier term for them to get um let's say that exactly easier for them to get and look um sweet talker chimes in and says we did and we told the kids we were enm yeah exactly i think it's just it might be easier easier uh quick question sweet talker um was it easy that way I mean did they uh did you feel like that made it a little smoother conversation but I think you guys we we actually had this conversation with y'all before about um you know your relationship with your children and how you guys are really comfortable you have very open discussions but I feel like was that that final landing of the plane did that term help in any way yeah but i'm pretty sure there's so much more describe what it meant what it meant to us yeah cool and another sweet talker says consensually non-monogamous see look at that yeah consensually non-monogamous ethically non-monogamous i love it here for next one this is is an easy one this one should be short short and sweet the term vanilla i think it's just old you know like vanilla you're like oh they're vanilla it feels really dated and old when when you hear people say it right so it's just oh it's just people that aren't in the lifestyle they they just i don't you just they're not in a lifestyle do people still use it are we still using this do we still i don't think i say it actually as much anymore yeah myself i i just say that they they not you know they not in the lifestyle right right yeah i think that's it right i think you're either lifestyle or not you you know yeah i think that's it you gotta do with a wink and a smile yeah no no they don't know or they do know but i wouldn't say yes vanilla right i don't say the word vanilla i just say that they don't know or something like that i don't like all the time we use a word it just says oh they don't they don't know or i'll say lifestyle sometimes i think we still do use it every now and then like maybe even on the show i don't want to say i don't and then somebody back shit on episode 38 I don't want to say i don't and then somebody back shit on episode 38 i said i don't use it as much anymore i know i know but here's the thing here's what i mean um like when we're we would say to this crowd to this audience to the people listening and looking we would say to them yeah we were at dinner with a vanilla couple, right?
We would say that. So that's something we would say. Because we know that they understand what that meant, right? It's without having to go into a whole description about what we're saying about the person, right? But when we're around lifestyle people, like when we have went to the event a few weeks back and there was a family member there.
Who was uninitiated didn't right did i know what's going on i just walked up to you and i said look he don't know yeah that was it that was all that was said about it right there wasn't like a hand signal a big no it wasn't like oh vanilla it was just you don't know and you know what that meant so let me ask you this interest and audience Trist and audience. Is it still useful? The word vanilla? Yeah. I think it is. I think it's still useful. I mean, again, a little old. I like it's old. But I think it's so simple.
It's so simple, so quick, and so clean that, you know, it's going to be around for a little bit longer. Again, this one, I don't have any alternative for it. No, I don't know what you call it. I just, they're not in lifestyle. They're lifestyle or not. That's it. Yeah. Yep. Let's see. I'm going to catch up on some people while you're in. Thank you.
longer again this one i don't have any alternative for it no i don't know i just they're not in their lifestyle or not that's it yeah yep let's see i'm gonna catch up on some people while you yeah go ahead uh says that what happened to make you tell your kids about it oh they're asking about that okay they're ages 18 to 21 one of them had a relationship issue where his partner wanted to be part poly and he asked our advice so we decided to have a conversation with them that's yeah wow yeah that's deep yeah that's a whole big adult conversation ready for a poly relationship yeah i mean hey look no his partner i know but but you know but that's when you kind of brush off your shoulders and be like you know what i got this i got this i know exactly what that means i know all these folks i got resources for you i could tell you i've been waiting i've been waiting to have this conversation i don't know about waiting but uh this says uh no sweet talk it says we use the term vanilla to describe our actions oh i like that huh a vanilla vanilla night with a swinger friends is a thing for us oh a vanilla night you know i don't think there's that have we said that no vanilla night no no what do we call it when we don't when we know we're not playing what do we say nothing nothing no it's just a night i don't know yeah it's either we're not playing or we play we play you know that's cool though that's a vanilla night is good yeah i've never used it in that way and that's a good one i like it i like it all right a new way to use it so here is the one that sparked this entire conversation, y'all.
And some of our sweet talkers on here, y'all know where I'm going because we actually started this conversation maybe a couple months ago, really. All right. Soft and full swap. This one has started to annoy the shit out of me. I really, really, I'm done. I'm done.
I don't like it don't like it i don't okay here's the thing i don't like the noun form where we are full swap or we are uh i am soft swap you know i don't like the noun i understand the verb where you do full swap things or you do uh soft swap things i get the verb cool it doesn't bother me as much but the main part that i have an issue with is the swap so trish what's implied with soft and full swap in your opinion it's basically transactional right it is a one-to-one uh transaction it's saying that i am i want to do this thing so that you your wife and my wife have to do a thing and you and i have to do a thing that's the males right it is it is a one-to-one thing whatever that thing is um that's what's implied there right it implies obligation to me and that once I kind of sat and thought about it it's like a swap that means you know oh I know when you're looking for like a connection for a couple you're looking for opportunity I'm not looking for a one-to-one like Trish said.
That's the best way you put that, like a one-to-one. It is required of me to be with his wife and him with mine. Yeah. In order for anything to happen.
In order for anything to happen, for any of us to connect and to to be friends and to make something happen in the future we have to have a one-to-one divide or split equal share yeah it doesn't work like that all the time yeah it's it it doesn't work like that all the time like yeah that's so sometimes when i especially with women in a lifestyle right because there's so many women um in a lifestyle and there's not and i am not trying to like knock anyone but this is a common thing that every a lot of people say right not everyone but a lot of people say there aren't as many attractive males than it is to female right you have a common trope, yeah you have a lot more attractive females than you do males in the lifestyle and that's not a knock on anyone that's just what it is right um and the thing is is that if you're not attracted to the male however you know you want but your husband is attracted to the wife and they want to do something and maybe the three of them can do something i don't need to be in that mix to participate in that if the three of them have an understanding of what they want out of that i can just be there to watch and that also should be okay it doesn't have to be because he wants he's attracted to the other guy's wife that now i in turn have to do something with the husband who i am not attracted to and right this whole the whole idea of full swap soft swap the whole let me just take the full and soft out because those have purpose and i get that those show your boundaries and limitations in a quick word full means we're down for penetration soft means we're not fine cool I don't know.
because those have purpose and i get that those show your boundaries and limitations in a quick word full means we're down for penetration soft means we're not fine cool i understand that but the swapping part the obligation part is the part that i have a problem with and that obligation part leads into the another thing that we didn't even write down which is taking one for the team right you're opening the door for that kind of bullshit and And by having the thought that we have to switch, that you don't have to.
There's nothing in this lifestyle that you have to do other than be fucking respectful. Yeah, and have consent. And that's for consent. Other than that, you don't have to do anything. You don't have to do anything, man. So, yeah, that's the big one for me. And I don't I don't have an alternative yet. Yeah. We've been trying to poke this around with different friend circles, but we can't come up with an idea here.
But again, I just have an issue with the whole swapping thing, because there have been situations where Trista and I have played separately or she's given me the green light to play separately. And there was no obligation. There was no, we are a full swap couple. We are a soft swap. We just did a thing. Yeah. Right. And what did we say earlier, Trist? It's about how I feel that night. That night, that moment. That moment.
It's not about what I am or what my profile says i am because i could put full swap on there right all day long full swap we're a full swap couple but if i'm not vibing with you guess what we're not fucking no it doesn't mean you know like we might not ever get to that point nope as a couple with with a certain couple you know what i mean yep does that mean we're not full swap Yep. Does that mean we're not full swap? No. No. Motherfucker, that means we're not full swap with you. Yes, that's exactly what I mean. That's what it is. It's like we, it's more about what you're feeling that night.
Yes. What you're feeling in that moment. Not what you feel like you define yourself as. We don't have to put ourselves in buckets all the time, people.
Yeah, with different labels to try to figure out like is this going to work or not let's just go off of do we buy right first is there a vibe cool okay what is everybody comfortable with we always talk about the circle of consent like having those conversations what are you comfortable with if you have a conversation about what am i comfortable with we don't have to talk about swap like the word swap doesn't even have to be used because we're talking about what are you comfortable with we don't have to talk about swap like the word swap doesn't even have to be used facts we're talking about what are you comfortable with i'm comfortable with this and vice versa whatever the case you're having those conversations then you don't have to talk about the word swap let me tell you how that usually goes hey lock what are you comfortable with everything i'm good for the most part green light yeah for the most part yeah yeah let's see uh so sweet talker says that we think the idea swap is what makes other people not like the term swinging agree yeah yeah because that obligation yeah yeah and they feel like swinging and swapping are like, that they're hand to hand.
And that's not the case. Um, another sweet talk, Swinger Help says that, yeah, sometimes I just want to take a nap and leave the rest of them to it. You know what? I agree sometimes. Like, listen, man, Tris will leave an orgy and start cleaning i'm done like all the way like leave y'all go on or dancing by herself yes you go on i'm all done let's see uh no so we could talk sweet talker says that there's not a lot of attractive men that means I want to borrow your wife. Oh, man. Yeah. Damn.
with men that means i want to borrow your wife oh man yeah damn let's see uh sweet talker says that also what my partner does is not necessarily what i want to do in that moment see and that's also my problem that's a fact right not the problem with what we're saying i agree with that is what i'm what i'm getting at sometimes that lock wants to do something in that moment, but I may not want to do that in that moment. I want to stay and dance in the middle of the floor somewhere and I'm going to do that.
Or you might not, you just might not want that husband, that particular person that is with that person, you know, with the person that I'm playing with, you might not want that person. I want to, yes. You might not want for you to not want him. Yeah, it's definitely okay. Sweet Talk, it says that defining ourselves individually as situational takes the pressure off and sets everyone's expectations. Yes. Yes, absolutely. Oh man. Yeah, good stuff. So the next one, let's see how much time we got. All right, we're going to skip this one. Well, we're going to go through. Okay, okay.
We're going to go through this one kind of quickly, kind of quickly. Okay. Because it's quick. We're going to shoot this one down ASAP. This is the next one is by hyphen. Put in whatever thing you want after vibe right my question is are there too many by classifications who are they for you got by comfortable you got by playful you got by curious and the one that we heard and it broke our hearts was by necessary by necessary folks Thank you. You got by curious and the one that we heard and it broke our hearts was by necessary by necessary folks that implies that this person.
Believe that she had to be no not even implies this is directly what she said. She believed that she had to play in a bisexual manner with the other woman in order to get the party started in order for them to have a good time that night yes that was so concerning for everyone everyone in the in the audience we we heard this where at pcap one of the pcaps yes and everybody was like oh my god girl no you don't have to do that yeah again there's nothing you have to do And I know we spoke about this in another episode, but it's a lot of bi terms.
And the thing is with that, it goes also back to what we were just talking about when it comes to labeling yourself as a couple too, right? The bi's. My problem is, is that why when people, especially females, they'll come up and say, are you, you know, are you into women? Are you bi? And things like that. Right. And I'm going to tell you, no, because it's true. I'm not going to lie and say that, you know, I am a bisexual woman because I am not. What I am is in this moment and at this time, if you are some type of energy that I want to be in the mix with, that is what's going to happen.
That is as long as there's consent. But, yeah, that is what's going to happen. And why I keep it so basic is that I feel like somebody is so pressuring about the situation to know if I'm by whatever the case I just say no because in that sense you're not trying to really you know just let's see what this vibe is going to go let's see what you like and I like you just trying to get to oh well you buy so then you're right yeah let's go ahead and do this thing and and we can, you know, do all this stuff. And you are by woman, me, too. And that's not what it is. It's not about the person.
It's about the classification. If you fit this classification, we're the same. We're the same. And we're, you know, everything can happen and it's good to go. And that's not the case all the time. Right.
with majority of the things that especially I do i'm an energetic person so um it takes a a lot of energy for me to even go that route right so it's me the words buy with all of these different things afterwards puts a kind of like a um a label on you that people just automatically think that this is what you are and this is what you're going to do right someone says i'm enthusiastically bisexual and there are plenty of bisexual women i have passed up on facts right yeah sure no i mean i think the the issue that i have with these terms are is that're trying so hard.
Everybody's just trying so hard to find their place, to find their place in this lifestyle. And I think, Trish, you hit the nail on the head. It's just, you are what you are in that moment. You're a sexual person. Sex is going to happen if it happens. You're going to be sexual with whomever hits those buttons at that time. Maybe it's a guy, maybe it's not, you know, at that time, you know, so to classify or try to wedge yourself into a situation or into a label of being by comfortable, meaning what, what does that mean?
Like, I'm just, I'm comfortable playing if I have to, you know, or by curious. So I'm kind of thinking about playing with women.
i want to see what but that's things you can have in a conversation again so it goes back to the circle yes i agree you can have that conversation say hey look i am attracted to you um and it it would it be okay if we you know did something like you know maybe flirted a little bit and kind of see where this can go right what are you comfortable with in that regard that's a conversation you can have with someone instead of just assuming that or take the word in my label that i'm by curious or by playful to automatically think like oh right you know i met my people we good right so does a bi curious person get along with the bi comfortable person you know i'm saying like do those to fit it's way too much it's too much to think about right so you just are what you are in those moments last one this is a good one this one.
This one was, um, uh, given to us by one of our really, really close friends, um, when we were having this conversation. So this is, is two, uh, reconnection and reclaiming. This is deep. This one is really, really deep. So what do they imply trisis? So reconnection. And we've used this term before as well. But now when we had that conversation, I was like, OK, I need to think differently, differently about that term. Right. So reconnection. When you use it, you're saying I'm connecting back with my partner. You know, we're having a reconnection. But what are you reconnecting to?
We couldn't you. We couldn't. We couldnlying that you were disconnected in the first place. Correct. So is that true? No, because you you obviously gave consent to have whatever this moment is, right? This experience, whether you're you're in it as a group, you're doing something with someone else and I'm doing something with someone else or whatever the case. Right.
You give some type of consent for your partner to to do those things right so we didn't lose connection because there was obviously a conversation at some point that happened to allow these experiences right and so what are you reconnecting to and even in another in another sense right you're saying that, not you, but a person, when you use the term reconnect, you're saying that you were disconnected in this activity. You, Trist, say that you are very energetic, right? You're energetic.
So in that activity, there's energy being transferred and there's energy that I have that I'm receiving from you being in that environment. Like if you went out on a date, I'm, I'm energized by that. Whether I like it or not, I'm probably thinking about it. And then when you get back, I'm feeling like I want to hear the story. I want to understand. So that energy, that connection has always been there. It'll always be there. I'm not disconnected from you in any kind of way. Yes. And furthermore, the connection is what makes it ethical in the first place. Yes.
I think that without the connection,'s basically cheating yeah without the connection without the not even consent but yeah you can take the word connection and consent and we can try to uh use them interchangeably here whatever but i think the connection that we have uh during an activity is what keeps it in that ethical space if i'm disconnected from you and you don't that means you don't know about it that means you don't you're not connected to that energy you're not feeling that energy you don't understand what i'm doing you you have no parts of what i'm doing i might be doing something wrong if we're not connected yeah i think tell them what y'all think what y'all think about that that's my opinion so reclaiming reclaiming to me this one just sounds really really like primal right like she must have my seed in her.
Let me reclaim my stake and pee on a tree. Yeah, yeah. It's like a piss on a tree kind of thing, you know? She's gone and been with another get back here, woman, and let me, you know, let you know who you belong to. Stink my flag. I think that's like, for you, I'd probably get my eyes scratched out if I told you who you belong to. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Right. So I'm not reclaiming you one cause I don't own you. I don't own you in the first place. And then I didn't loan you out to a motherfucker. Like there's no insurance sheet. It's like, I rented you out.
Now I have to reclaim you. So whose insurance will you be using for this, you know what I'm saying, for this rental of my beautiful queen? You know what I'm saying? Like, there's none of that shit. Like, I'm not reclaiming you. I don't need to spread my seed back on you to let you know who you belong to and shit. Let you know I love you. Yeah. You know. Especially because I be tired. Sometimes I just be sleepy after. You know? You like this. Oh, you had a good time. Good. That was great. Go back to sleep. Or like if we're in like an orgy setting, right?
Or we're in a crazy setting or some shit like that and we didn't have time to connect during or whatever yeah and you know we're bouncing around bodies and everybody's tired and sweaty and there we go we you know he's like i'd be sad i don't have the energy to do that you know i love you young we don't necessarily have to like reconnect because we didn't lose the connection. However, you know, there there is a lot of sexual energy after these things. It is. Right. And I'm extra turned on. That's different. Like, I'm just super turner.
I'm super charged up by a sexy night and I want to have sex with my wife again. That's different. Yeah.
I'm not trying right i never lost you no that's just you just never lost still have some sexual sexual energy trying to get off right super turned on by something you did or something i did and something you know somebody else did is just hot i'm here for all that i'm here for some extra fucking yeah the reclaiming not doing it just because you feel like you have to do something close it out with your partner because we have to reconnect and reclaim our marriage i don't know and maybe i'm talking about both sides of my neck by saying yo are you stepping on nobody toes or nothing you know hands up you do what you want but i guess i just think is it i don't know again this is just our opinions about it right that we've been kind of going um in our friend circles have been talking about and it's interesting conversations to have because a lot of our friends also have been a part of the lifestyle swinger e&m whatever we're calling it um for a long time and it sparks a big conversations about this especially this one with the whole reconnection and reclaiming yeah um so yeah we're interested to see your thoughts yes quite frankly you know i love that part of our relationships with our friends when we're just sitting around and we're just talking you know we're talking and we're philosophizing yeah i'm gonna make a word up you just did that's right but um yeah We'll be right back.
with our friends when we're just sitting around and we're just talking, you know, we're talking and we're, we're philosophizing. Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna make a word up. You just did. That's right. But, um, yeah, you know, we're just talking about the philosophies and methods and all this and the different ideologies and all the ideas between behind, you know, lifestyle swinging, E&M, all that good stuff. And it really fuels us. It gets us charged up to come back out here and throw some ideas at you guys and hear your opinions. So that's all that we have.
Actually, we had a couple OLI, outside looking in, the term play. I think that's a good one. I think it still applies. It's a quick catch-all. It's fun. It's cute. It takes away the seriousness of what you're doing. Whatever. Fine. And then the term unicorn.
I still like it you still like unicorn magical creatures they are magical creatures but are they really hard to find these days not really not really right because again you log into any of these apps it's a ton of beautiful single women who are out here open right you know well done uh and on that note i'm not gonna i swear to you i'm not gonna live this term down for a while that's good so folks thank y'all again for joining us in this episode uh we really appreciate y'all we appreciate the feedback This has been great. Yeah. And if you weren't able to join the live chat, that's fine.
And you have opinions about what we're saying, please let us know, you know, send us a message or IG or the Twitter or drop them in the comments. Yeah. In the comments would definitely, you know, want to hear people's opinions about it. Right. That's right.
And if you have ideas about what the terms should be you know going forward let's hear it i love it well done tris and then yeah we can do some surveys and all that stuff with your ideas man let's do it hey uh we miss your face too i know thank you thank y'all for joining all right folks y'all have a good one we'll talk to you next time bye again we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us. To everyone who couldn't join us live in the suite, check out our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Play, and iHeartRadio. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review.
Feel free to email us at livingthesweetlifepodcasts at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Instagram at thesweetlifepodcast and on Twitter at sweetlifepod Don't forget to subscribe to us on our YouTube channel at livingthesweetlifepodcast so that you can be a sweet talker the next time So do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests? Until next time, keep living the sweet life Bye! to our lovely guests. Until next time, keep living the sweet life. Bye.
