Does saying no to a play situation cause issues? Do you ever feel resentment towards your partner? Take a listen and see what we and our awesome guests have to say!As always, thanks for listening!Be sure to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!Check out our show and MANY others on FullSwapRadio!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: [email protected] us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle. From newbies to longtime swingers, or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex-positive discussion.
Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself comfortable and join us in episode 62 of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist he is my sexy chocolate husband lock you know yeah i am and i'm proud i appreciate that babe proud to be your sexy chocolate husband lock comma lock and today ladies and gentlemen we have special guests y'all remember the brother y'all remember the guy infamous infamous brother that's right that's right but this time we got the sister also we got don and tina kicking it with us in the suite say hi y'all hi hey everyone yeah oh he put the sexy he put the sexy voice on hey everyone that's all right don and tina they know what time it is and y'all um no today's gonna be a fun episode today's gonna be cool we're gonna um just do a little back history on don and tina they're gonna share some of their story with us because um as y'all know they were very instrumental in um you know getting lock and trist involved in uh you know this whole lifestyle game so we're gonna just talk to them kick it with them and then we're gonna share the uh topic of the day with them also and they're gonna to chime in and we're going to have a nice spirited discussion on uh the power of no and the wonderment of yes i don't know about y'all but i love yes what about you tris which one's your favorite are you trying to be shady now that's a trick question yes yes i was trying to be shady now?
That's a trick question. It's not a trick. Yes. Yes. I was trying to be on your good side. Yes. So let's see. Let's knock out some housekeeping real quick. Email us at thesweetlifepodcast at gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram at thesweetlifepodcast and follow us on Twitter at sweetlifepod.
Thank you to all of our wonderful sweet talkers who are listening on all your favorite podcast catchers and thank you to everybody who is joining us on full swap radio on thursdays dutchess cashmere from the cashmere room podcast checking in what's good sis how you doing how you doing how are you y'all i'm trying to tell y'all y'all better get on this dutchess train because y'all going to miss out. Y'all going to be bandwagon later because she's blowing up. She's doing her thing. She out here interviewing with folks. I think she did some, you know, she's going live on Wednesday nights, man.
Uh-oh. And they go sweet talking number one. Girl, we're going to talk about you in a minute. Don't you even worry. Don't you even worry. But, yeah, man, for real, get on that Dutchess cashmere train, man. Oh, and let's not forget about Black and Kinky.
What's folks how y'all doing uh black and kinky podcast they doing some dope shit this year um for black history month check out their podcast it looks like they dropping out they dropping podcasts uh once a week during black history month a lot of good content check them out check them out i appreciate that work that's a lot of work for for sure for sure and let's see what else we got in this uh housekeeping um for all of my wonderful sweet talkers who could not join us live in the suite check us out on youtube subscribe uh and hit the notification bell and you can be a sweet talker the next time jump in the conversation find out who are who all these wonderful people we keep talking about are um and then uh give us your feedback tell us what you're feeling tell us how you know you're receiving this information that we're putting together for y'all it's a lot of fun you got it all out i think so you took a breath yeah okay okay all right guys i gotta say bye to you because i have to go to work see you guys on the live chat have a good night bye all right as trish distracts okay with the instagram so sorry guy you know i i do double duties you do i like to multi-task yes she says i'm good trisha looking good thank you girl uh looks like oh swinger help checking in hi Swinger help.
Make sure y'all take a look at their website. All the good. Trisha looking good. Thank you, girl. Looks like. Oh, Swinger Help checking in. Hi. Swinger Help. Make sure y'all take a look at their website. All the good information gets you right. And it looks like Black and Kinky said just edited the last episode for this month. Glad we got to join Sweet. That's right. That's right. Y'all doing some good work, man. Y'all be coming through for that Black History.
Last year, y'all um the little black history blurbs from all the uh uh the black podcasters we appreciate being a part of that that was pretty cool all right oh you thought i was leaving for a second no i was leaving the live on ig no i left the live on ig a little bit longer no she better not leave me going solo. No. Mm-hmm. I'm leaving Lauren's joint. So, hey, by the way, Don and Tina, we're going to go around the room tonight with the how you feeling. Oh, yes. We forgot we have guests. Actual guests.
How it works is before we get into all sorts of play and all sorts of shenanigans when we about to ride out when we looking good feeling good still got to check in with my baby to find out how she feeling so it could be anything that's on your mind anything topical uh or just one word i'm good you know what i'm saying so whatever it is but baby we're gonna start with our guests so don't be rude no i'm not i got manners lovely miss tina how you feeling tonight Thank you.
so whatever it is but baby we're gonna start with our guests so don't be rude no i'm not i got manners lovely miss tina how you feeling tonight i feel good i'm excited to like see you know how you all do your show like it's very impressive right now so i'm excited we've always tuned in so it's good to be on this side of the room yeah yeah i love it i love it yeah this is your first time in the suite yeah well welcome welcome thank you and brother don how you feeling feeling wonderful i love it man a few words right to the point so moving on to my dear sweet queen baby how you feeling tonight my turn okay we don't know where this is going to go so no like seriously before we had to do the show how i'm feeling and real real talk i was extremely exhausted you know it's that whole um i was telling my mother-in-law today you know we we just turned 40 um both of us are 40 he turns 40 in a few days whoop whoop yes so lock will be 40.
You see how I just turned 40. Both of us are 40. He turns 40 in a few days. Whoop, whoop. Yes. So, Locke will be 40. You see how I keep saying 40 because he wants to keep severing. I'm 39. No, I don't. You're 40. I've been 40 for a whole year now. So, I've told her that, you know, the things is we're still having fun, but that recovery is no joke.
Like, it's taking a little bit longer to recover the next day when you have days especially when you've been doing stuff if you've been staying up late you're partying you're doing this and you're doing that it starts to like catch up so yeah it's like you know i'm still a rock star but i i i understand the 40 part of it is like all right just my recovery is just not as quick as it was before. Just slowing down. But I'm okay with that. You know, I'm still keeping it sexy. Yeah, all day. All day. Yep, what else you got going on? Let's see. So Locke, let me tell you a funny story.
So this just happened this week. So Locke is, he's in a chat and he's talking to one of our friends asking him about about PCAP. Actually, PCAP, hey guys, make sure you check out PCAP for this year of 2022. It's going to be in June in Palm Springs. That's a quick plug. Go ahead. Sorry, but I didn't want to bring up PCAP without saying that. Make sure you check it out if you're able to join.
So story is Locke is in, he's talking to some, one of our friends in the chat he's asking hey are you going to PCAP and he keeps saying it out loud though PCAP and then our toddler starts repeating him it's like PCAP PCAP and she just kept saying it and I was like stop saying PCAP and he's like looking at her like what you want me to do i just said peak out i don't know what it means like she kept saying it though over and over again so that's yeah you could kind of hear her in the bathroom with the door closed peak cap cap but hey man you know it could be so much worse it could be so much worse you know she'll be saying orgy daddy Orangies.
Orangies. Daddy, Cochran. Yes. No. No. Stop. No. man. You know, it can be so much worse. It can be so much worse. You know, she'll be saying, orgy, daddy. Orgies. Orgies. Daddy, cock ring. Yes. No, no, stop. None of those. Watch your mouth. Exactly. And then the last thing of how I'm feeling like one of my friends, we joke around, we're friends now. At the time when we met, we were just getting to know each other. And we joke around about this particular meeting of that. That wasn't our first time meeting, but it was a party that we were at.
And it was during a time when people were telling me that, hey, you're a hard read. I just don't know what you want. So I was already in my own headspace with myself about that, like when people said those words.
So in this particular moment, at the time our friend just said that hey you know you're a hard read how am i supposed to know if you like me and to that i was like already kind of irritated hearing that my quick response was well i'm sitting beside you aren't i mean it is so much of a jerk thing to say guys i'm not saying this to say like oh my god like it was the best thing ever no that like hearing it back i was like dude i'm so sorry that i said that to you because that was so much of an asshole move so i'm gonna pull on the thread i'm so glad what made you say it that way i know you said that you were kind of irritable but what does that mean to someone if what you what were you trying to convey by saying here I'm sitting next to you because like what does that mean to you I think for me it just meant that I'm I'm spending time with you okay like if I wasn't interested then I wouldn't be investing time to sit down and have these conversations with you because I'm investing time that should signal that I'm interested and that's a better way to say that than to say I'm sitting beside you aren't I right yeah it was pretty asshole it sounds so much like of an asshole thing to say and I was like I'm so glad that you're just the most probably one of the most confident cocky persons that i probably know as a friend so he just kept on going like i'm going to be her friend we're gonna be friends we're gonna figure this whole whatever this is out and i'm i'm about that he was persistent yeah it was it was time well spent and uh definitely one of our best friends uh now so I get a good laugh out of it and I keep apologizing for it.
And I'm just like, I'm so sorry. That's such a, that was such a jerk. But so. And you know, he's going to hear this and you know, he's going to. I'll get the text in the morning. Yeah. Or probably latest. No, in the morning. I'll get in the morning. But like, so how are you feeling? Oh, me. I am. I'm, I'm recovering. I'm right back.
in the morning um but luck so how are you feeling oh me i am i'm i'm recovering i'm recovering so much like you you know once that big four zero hit you know you start slowing down a little bit but i'm feeling good it was all for good reason so y'all a little something a little something happened over the weekend people a little something awesome so y'all know our friend sweet talker number one guess what she was in town and came through and hung out with the sweet life yes she did sweet talker number one is just as dope in person as she is like online and in the chat and just yo this this queen is a live wire you know what i'm saying like she got so much energy her smile can light up a room like i'm talking about just as gorgeous in person as she is like on you know on your computer screen you know what i'm saying on your tablet or your mobile device yeah a big she's a tall drink of water too i was um we went out to uh we went out and i was literally standing beside her and i had on one of the higher heels yeah you did that that i wear and i'm standing beside her and i was like she still has me beat by at least three inches i'm'm talking about queen stature, you know, you know, just God, I was sitting there.
I was like, right, right. So a little info. Yeah. She came in over the weekend to kick it with some of her friends or one of her friends. And they we did a double date, man. We actually sat down. We had a double date.
And her her friend, gentleman friend, is just as impressive as she is yes i mean this guy tried to steal the show man like wow just an impressive guy charismatic yes um very charming really great energy yes man just a whole vibe they just a whole vibe together like you know they got the yin and yang combo down pack like you can just see how they work you can see their dynamic you can see his uh his confidence and um just his whole swag like and how he bought it you know what i mean he bought it to the table and you know it was a great dynamic that the four of us had i thought that our banter our back and forth was fun yes um everybody was engaged in conversation it didn't feel forced at all it was really really good time uh really getting to know sweet talking number one and we are truly appreciative that she took time out of her her weekend visit to the dmv um to hang out with us yes literal us then after dinner y'all know we gotta do a little dirty no we ain't we we didn't do anything bad but we went to the we went to the club we went to taboo social club out in catonsville maryland shout out to vicky and the squad up there um and we had a good time we took her to the club we did some dancing we got some drinks we introduced us to some friends you know just treated them with uh as much hospitality as we could muster you know um so it was cool we thought we had a really really good time and we can't wait to see her again absolutely shout out sweet talking number one we invited our friends yeah that's right that's right bedroom bliss was in the building bedroom bliss was in the building yeah that's right that's right they got to kick it with bedroom bliss uh yeah so and we had a really good time man everybody made good friends made good friends tristan and i we snuck off once the lights went out because it was a blackout night um and this is actually our first time playing in taboo and shit years years but it was just like one of the moments it was like come on girl lock was like luck that nigga doesn't hit we got to go downstairs he says no no i'm not taking i'm not hey this is a good example for the topic actually he's like no no it's not an option right now i didn't say that no that's essentially you didn't say that but she was like i was begging no you weren't begging you was just persistent you weren't begging at all you was just like so you was negotiating that's the good word yes it was negotiation i was like okay all right because tris is still very coveted she's like okay no i don't want to go i'm like all right look first of all kobe is not gonna crawl up in your vagina okay no real talk he said that yes i did like so kobe is not gonna crawl in your vagina i'm like and i was like but yeah i'm like okay how about if we stand in the middle of the room doggy style with your mask on this is a whole true this is an this is what happened and then it was like okay do i have to touch anything you ain't got to touch it just touch your toes just been over touch your toes that's all i need get low a little bit just give me five minutes but please no but yeah you yeah it was something and it kind of went like that and at one point he's like you know well we'll sit sit on top of me i'm like where no yeah so i'm behind her and she has like one hand she might as well had like the latex glove on on one hand bracing herself on the bed and i'm behind her and i'm you know my legs starting to get weak you know that 40 coming so so i want to sit down now and i'm pulling her back and she's like where are we going no wow his dick is inside of me by the way so we're having sex and i was like why are you backing up where are we going i want to sit I want to sit down.
I was like, no, I don't want to touch anything. And you didn't you didn't touch it i didn't touch nothing i'm serious but no that was that was fun that was a fun little first time um having sex with your mask on it was yeah that whole thing yeah you did didn't you i sure did i was i was serious serious about it oh good times so yes uh that's what happened uh down in in the in the fun sexy room whoo so but to your point it was was great seeing Sweet Talker number one. Thank you again. That's right. That's right. Thank you again for gracing us with your beautiful self. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
It was wonderful. Oh, she's saying hilarious. Yeah. No, it was a ridiculous scene. It was a ridiculous scene. OK, so without any further ado, my wonderful guests, are y'all ready? And my my queen are y'all ready to get into tonight's episode yeah let's do it let's go Thanks for hanging in there folks again thank you so much for joining us in this episode this is episode 62 jesus tris did you realize that we're going on year three of living a sweet life we've been up in the suite for three years i think they need to to come and change the sheets by now. Yes, change the sheets in the walls.
Maybe. In the walls. All the dirty talk that's happened in here. I know, right? We need a cleansing. Occasional sex, maybe. I know, right? Yeah, man.
But again, y'all, hey, listen, we're going to do a little background on Don and Tina, this beautiful brown couple here, the catalyst of of it all man i'm telling you there would be no lock and trist if it was no don and tina and i think that's like real facts that is yes 100 like i mean these folks um got into the game a very long time ago but they were instrumental in one informing us that this shit existed one yes that's first and foremost places you can go to and that's how they sold it and then two we always talk about the importance of having like a good lack of a better term tutor or guide or whatever mentors or whatever it is um they were ours know, there was never a time that we could not reach out, reach out to them, call them, text them, or whatever, I'm like, you know, hey, what does someone mean by this?
Yeah, what the fuck is soft swap, you know, stuff like that, and they hipped us to it, so how about y'all tell us a little bit about yourselves, man, how the hell did y'all get into the lifestyle in the first place so 21 21 um and don had mentioned so we were in our first apartment together we were just hanging out drinking and he's like a lot of drinking like hey there's this website called adult what is that af adult friend find it yeah yeah and i'm like okay well let's check it out so he he pulled it up and i'm like oh this is interesting wait about threesomes or something and you said huh i wouldn't mind being with a girl i did say that wow there's a site for that i know about the site oh man so he he pulled up the site and we're kind of looking through we made a profile and i'm like okay this is cool i like you know back down like getting sexy like this is fun we can dress up take some pictures so we're looking through looking for people and no shit my boss was on there my female boss had a profile she didn't have her face showing but you knew that I know that person he's like let's reach out to her and I'm like okay um living the sweet life does not endorse that behavior i would not recommend that as your first course of action no you go ahead let them have their life in fact i would say block so we sent a message i think it was just like hi and she wrote back back and instantly yeah she was like she didn't have my eye on you the whole time yeah i'm glad that we don't have to pretend no more right so we're you know we're talking online and i'm like hey there's this club you know that we go to y'all want to come and i'm like okay let's go check it out that's when we were introduced to taboo wow 2009 2010 wow man it was like 2009 way back i know it make it sound like y'all dinosaurs in the room i mean but the thing is you guys are uh a couple of unicorns Right.
A as a couple because you're you're very rare being so young 21 years young going into the lifestyle like the one the confidence that you had to have in your relationship to step out how did you feel that you guys were ready for something like that were you just being adventurous just like fuck it let's you know i have a fantasy let's go for it and we'll figure it out as we go along pretty much yeah pretty much yeah yeah it was like let's let's just try it out we you know this was before researching like knowing the rules knowing like right you know the etiquette protocol let's do it let's have fun so yeah speaking of knowing the rules so because you guys started so that was a while back now how did you get this information because it's totally different than it is now right you have podcasts now you have all of these other sites that you can kind of get information from i mean the internet right but then how did you get information how did you even find out i mean they had the internet i mean they had the internet right but i'm sure this stuff wasn't as easily accessible to get to right so how'd you do it yeah just kind of looking around on on search engines and and but the funny thing is the websites were very rudimentary like yeah just like text on the website right that's it you have a website and you got text and links that was it wasn't fancy no no no interface no nothing like that so like craigslist yeah pretty much damn thanks it was like craigslist for um lifestyle yeah man like like uh the terms things like that yeah and a lot of the rules were kind of like it was a trial and error okay yeah it was trial and error like we we are like oh okay so we shouldn't do this or you know so we would talk to other friends and it was just kind of like we had to learn as we as we go you know man and i think uh because we were so young people gave us a pass for that as well ah okay yeah so they're like oh they're young so they don't know what they're doing let's tell you know, kind of like training us in a way.
Did you guys have good mentors? Was the coworker a good mentor in that sense? I would say a bit. Yeah, she was a bit. I would say our best mentors was when we went to Hedo 3.
Like, that's when we met a 45, 46-year-old couple, and they basically guided us like you know we were friends with them on facebook we went to visit them down you know where we were so yeah yeah okay and hito three you guys brought that up that's not even around anymore how was that experience so yeah hito three was so cool like we so we actually made that trip to hito 3 and it's kind of a sad story but uh-huh dawn's friend you know something bad happened and we're like life is too short so i looked at dawn i was like you know what we're gonna we're gonna just do this we're just gonna go and that was our first trip out of the country by ourselves and we picked hito 3 and it was the best experience that we've ever had.
Man, we missed out on that one. Yeah. We definitely missed out on that one. And it ended up closing a year later but it was like one of the best experiences. The quad. The quad. Yeah, the quad. It's the quad. Four buildings surrounding a pool. Yeah. Everything happens.
In the and each each suite had showers that you can open up to the outside world oh that's tight oh don was in there all day i'm like what are you doing that would be loud that'll be him he'd be like just want to see me in shower i'd be like washing up looking he's like just look at me trying to catch eyes with passerby's that's creepy so how okay i got a couple more questions and we can uh kind of get into the topic one how was it being so young like you said you had a couple people would kind of take you under their wing but did you feel like vulnerable did you feel like you know hey whatever we got nothing to lose did you feel like uh you're the sexiest ones in the room like how did that feel i would say i you know i was young so i had a lot of insecurities because it's just like oh this is you know so many sexy people around but not knowing i was one of them like a lot of people were like after us because we were so young right fresh meat yeah so it's just like you know not knowing i was one of them like a lot of people were like after us because we were so young right fresh meat yeah so it's just like you know it helped me build up confidence and like like i love dressing up and it was just like oh we get to dress sexy this weekend let's do it right so it was it was really really cool it was really cool so so lock let me just say this you know how you feel when you're at one of those clubs or at a resort and you just see all these beautiful women and people fucking everywhere yep how you feel now as a 40 year old man get that charge imagine that no as a 21 i couldn't handle it i couldn't handle that's the way to paint the picture right there no i would not be able to handle it i'd be bouncing off the walls it'd be a problem flooded yeah oh man that's incredible just sensory overload yeah that's very interesting that's crazy and uh the last question i had was um as far as technology you guys mentioned you know there's a a site for that.
But guess what? Now there's apps for that, right? Yes. It's apps for everything. So the technology has obviously gotten improved. So you already kind of, you actually kind of mentioned it already. Now that I think about it, you were saying like you had to find on the websites, the websites are very basic.
So your recording process was probably what, like message every now and then and then meet up or um but the sites weren't very sophisticated so i imagine that was just a challenge and like now again i guess i'm kind of answering my own question really um now there's just so many communication uh channels or options like you know you got your your messaging apps your whatsapp your telegram your all that kind of stuff so it's right in the palm of your hand instead of really sitting down at a computer yeah yeah and that if you think about it that made it almost easier i feel because you didn't have so many things right you have one or two sites you go to you check check.
There's nothing there. I agree. You go about your day. Wow. You have to check all of them. You got to check all of them. Yes. Keeping it all balanced. I mean, you do a good job trying to keep it all. I'd be a hot mess. I don't know. It's too many things to try to keep up with. I just give me the cliff notes. We got our folks from NK Swingers. NK Swingers, Tribe Chat, checking in.
What's what's up folks hope y'all had a great weekend good to see y'all appreciate y'all jumping into the conversation and i think that was it i mean you guys have been in the game a long time you came up when you was like kids and now y'all got family and things are kind of changing for you now right so right now and this is going to lead us into the topic folks trust me i'm going somewhere with this so where where are you guys now as far as lifestyle so we're not active we still go to clubs to dance because i can't go to a regular night club like it's just no i can't do it right yeah right i still like to get really sexy to the point where it's like i can show my ass if i still want and not have to worry about someone trying to come touch me i can feel that we still do that but we're we're not like dating any couples we're not talking to any couples um don and i actually talked about it and we're just kind of like what are we doing right now we're just chilling yeah yeah just chilling right now loving each other and that's right learning after so many years still hanging out with old friends that we met in the in the lifestyle there you go which is probably still about half off yeah and the beautiful thing is you guys got started so damn young that you you could take a break you're still sub 40 right now yeah you know what i'm saying so y'all could come back at 40 and still be you know still kill it yeah by the time our little one is like older like we can jump back into it yeah it just wouldn't be a thing you know absolutely it'd be fun so yeah yeah well the doors are there they're waiting for you as long as y'all let us know where y'all gonna be so we don't be at the same time yeah no and y'all can crush it nobody wants that no but no so that gets me to the point of the topic right you guys had to ultimately have a discussion about where you wanted to be what did you want to do what does the next stage look like and maybe that wasn't easy conversation.
Maybe someone wanted something that the other person didn't. And in that, somebody had to say no. Yeah. Somebody had to say, no, this isn't what I want right now. And the other person had to be okay with that. So Trish, do you want to take us into tonight's topic with that in mind? Yes. So tonight's topic is basically does no no really no is no really okay and and what essentially are we saying with that is that is it okay to say no and your partner be cool with it right is your partner really cool with no say no someone chimes in and says. Hey, we appreciate that. We love you chiming in.
And let us know if you have any questions. Jump in with any more comments that you got. We appreciate it. Go ahead, Trace. I'm sorry. So I thought we would bring up this topic because we recently ourselves had a debate, discussion about is no really okay.
And that was a that wasn't actually a line that was said during the um dialogue of this conversation um and i just thought it would be important to bring it up like in the show because like we tell you guys we want to talk about all of it you know we want to talk about the good times we also want to bring up you know the things that happen in between when we have our hiccups because the point of our show is to give out our experiences to be able to help someone else right and we can put any type of information out there and that little bit of gem that may help another couple another person kind of get through their situation then i feel like we've done something for sure yeah right the good the bad the ugly man yeah if we just get on here and just always talk about the you know oh we went to this party it was great and then we hung out with these people that's not all the time in the lifestyle so and remember we always say the lifestyle is not linear so you're going to have these ups and downs and i think it's important that we also share the moments where even as podcasters we do not always have all of the answers or nail it every single time right and this is one of those times where we had that kind of like a static yeah and i thought it was important to share for sure yeah let's call it what it is tris it was an argument right it, right?
Hell yeah. It was an argument. It was a, you know, not so pretty debate where we didn't see eye to eye. No. And there are still things that we're trying to iron out with the perspective of it. We've come to a conclusion. Yes.
But it's all about like understanding the whys, know what i'm saying that actually help us to move along and to you know recognize when something like this is happening again and how to you know combat it in the future but go ahead tris i'm breaking away so i will set up the scene set up the scene girl so basically we went out that day with a group of lifestyle friends um we were hanging out that night um a bunch of sexy people a bunch of sexy people we were doing sexy yes We'll be right back.
a group of lifestyle friends we were hanging out that night um a bunch of sexy people a bunch of sexy people we were doing sexy shit yes we were doing sexy things we were we were tying up people and stuff all of the things um that in in theory would lead to a sexy night right um so of course we go to the the what i've called it the after party and i'm just setting up the scene some for you guys so that you can kind of, like, walk through this a little bit with us. Go for it. So we're setting that up.
And then we decide to go back to our friend's spot to kind of have, like, a little, what do the kids call it? A kickback. Yeah, we're just chilling. A kickback, right? And kind of everybody was chilling.
um for me what i just saw i could understand the cadence and we're kind of where this was going to go and kind of where well where it was going to lead right and i knew in my head i just was not in that space i wasn't in that space the energy space at all to do anything lifestyle where was it going to lead to an orgy like i can see it i'm out of the way you saw that shit coming like i think i'm an orgy professional well i wish you would let me know because like i'm sitting here like this is going to be an orgy which in in normal circumstances would be like cool because we've had orgies we i think we've become almost the orgy magnet expert almost right but the thing is i know we can have more experiences there's still room for growth i knew he was i can learn more he's like i can always learn more when are we going to do the next orgy sorry yeah so um so but just that particular moment i just kind of knew that where it was going to lead to I don't know what it was and nobody said it was going to be an orgy I just saw it coming and for me that particular night I was trying to back us out of it before it got to okay this thing is about to like happen you know clothes are about to start coming off I'm trying to back us out so I'm gonna pause you there and I going to tell it from my perspective how I'm going to get to that same point from where how you got there.
OK, so we left the the rope time session again. Everybody kind of, you know, juiced up. We went to another little party, too. That's right. We were very busy. That's right. We were busy that night.
So we left that other party and we were headed to the to the kickback spot we was about to go hang out and chill and i swear to you i did not see nothing coming i was just thinking like we're gonna go drink and we're gonna see somebody's new you know somebody's spot we never been here before we're gonna kick it we're gonna hang out with these cool folks or whatever whatever right so we was one second i'm sorry to cut you but you were i'm just wanting to give you credit you absolutely had no idea in your mind that this was anything that's right i had no prophylactic nothing you know i didn't even have my uh my swinger insurance in my pocket well actually you know i'm lying no you stay ready i was about to say that's not true i keep one in the wallet one in the chamber at all times he does but anyway so but it wasn't on my mind we just went we was kicking it or whatever and to me um i didn't see the writing on the walls again i just went in oblivious like hanging out these some folks we haven't gotten to kick it with we haven't been out in a little while we haven't we've had the baby for a little bit at this point i don't think we've done anything like just like hanging out and i was just excited to be outside i didn't want to go home and it was still before midnight i didn't want to go home y'all he did that he did not want to go home so uh the night progresses and people start to kind of start losing clothing start kind of and i started throwing out that signal and i'm like baby please let me just hang around let me just stay in this energy.
I'm feeling this energy. And that's the key, though. Here's where we get lost. Real talk. Where we get lost is my reading of the situation was what I imagined you always say you wanted. Yes. Which was the prescription usually for you. I'm not speaking for you. I'm just going off what I've heard you say and what I believe, right? And correct me if I'm wrong. Organic, energetic, and familiar. These are all familiar people. There was energy in the room and it was all happening organically. Like nobody was forcing anything.
I mean, they did blow up the giant air mattress in the middle of the room in the middle of the floor but i'm saying that still was not a signal to him guys that hey this is about to be an orgy when someone blows up a whole mattress and he's like it's not gonna be an orgy no i did not figure that out no no no he still had not figured like this is it really happened guys i forgot about that he still did not in his brain at that moment still was like i don't know what you mean that's not true hold on they blow up a whole bed give me second by the time the air mattress came out i knew what it was no no i did and i was like please god i don't want to go home now no no i was like look you don't have to put that we don't have to participate we could think of a creative way to make this happen with some sexy shit could just go down but i do not you know i i knew once the air mattress got blown up and i think i saw a pair of titties come out and i was snuggled up with someone he was and i was just like okay but the point is all right god you suck you're the worst crushing my hopes and dreams air mattress beautiful people and everybody's all ready and then tris was like you know she's ready to go that's the bottom line she was ready to go and I wasn't and we had a little discussion about it and ultimately um she asked the question you know well when can I say no then you know what I'm saying but go ahead so get to you how did that what happened yeah so the discussion led to and i'm going to ask our guests also how can i say no like and it'd be okay then and then it's like truly okay like right and and to lock's point he's like well you can always say no and i'm like not really right because right now if i'm no, you're upset and you're like, well, why can't we stay?
And I'm saying no to this particular thing. And I was trying to be clear about that. I'm not saying no, never, because we've had this experience before. We've had orgies. Cool. There's no, you know, great.
I'm saying tonight in this particular moment no it when is that going to be kind of like the okay right and then we just get into this whole other just like back and forth you know with the words so I'm gonna toss it over to the guests so what um why does no the word no have the potential to like cause a problem what do you think like what what is so sticky about that you know what i'm saying because we all say it no is okay i want to hear if you're not comfortable tell me no tell me no make sure you say yo no use your words and it's fine it sounds good but then when you actually get that no sometimes what could be the hang up there what do y'all think well for me it's more of like the person who is saying no have the right to say no they have the right to their feelings yep and saying no but then again Then the person who gets a little upset also has the right to their feelings yep and saying no but then again the person who gets a little upset also has the right to their feelings that's true but the no if it's no the no still overrides all of that it does yeah it does and i think in that night i made the point like But, you know, once we left the situation um it it was for me i said you know i i'm entitled to be a little disappointed you did say i forgot about that i'm disappointed because this is something again i thought was like the perfect storm and just because it didn't happen it's a bummer let me let me go through my process of processing that bummer and then i'll be okay you know um but that's okay i think disappointment is okay what do you think yeah i someone always told me this is uh an extra curriculum activity for our relationship right yes yep and you know it's it's okay to say no when you're not feeling it um and i've also been on the other side where it's like oh don you know i want to stay just a little bit i'm not feeling let's just go and i'm like fine yeah so it's on both sides but yeah this is extra to our relationship yep that person says no all right let's roll we gotta go let's figure it out next time yeah yeah i stomp my feet out the door but you gotta go so someone a sweet talker chimes in and says it's a trigger of defiance hmm let's see what do you think explain that yeah give us a little bit more let me let's think about what that means a trigger of defiance no it's kind of like like how i just said maybe like i say no and then i'm like stomping my feet or no is kind of asserting uh a sort of like he said defiance or the person says defiance like i i want to be here and you're like no you want to be defiant you're you're but it wasn't like no like no right like that it was just like no i'm not really feeling it but it was the worst was still no but it wasn't a no like no no if regardless of how it's delivered like you can do i mean delivery matters right delivery does matter but when you're saying no it it's for a reason yes it's for a reason and it's a reason that should be acknowledged and uh respected because you're uncomfortable for whatever reason you don't you're not in it and I'm never going to force a dick in your vagina.
I'm not going to do it. I mean, you know what I'm saying? And it wasn't less, it wasn't like be clear. It wasn't an uncomfortable thing. It's just, I just wasn't in the mood. Sure. It's all it was. And it just was that day. I just was not in the mood and I just wasn't there. And I don't,'t you know and i'm a firm believer of not doing stuff for the sake of just doing it oh someone chimes in and says no is a problem to someone who is spoiled the word no builds character it does it does when you're like raising a child you know what i. I'm saying when you're raising a kid.
Like, I think what they might be getting at is a problem. Having a problem with the word no shows that you might have some kind of spoiled tendencies. Yes. Right? Not necessarily.
And that's, I think that that, to my point of that, when they're saying that, I think that that was my problem with your reaction to it it's just that because remember i said to you that you've had situations and experiences you're taking this one thing and it's like oh but you're saying no but i'm like yeah but look at all of the things that you've done right right yeah and and i come comeback to that is always the same and i still say something yeah no please go for it it's funny right because we are all in something that is the society says no to yelp true we're the type of people that looks at no one says and say yes you could shove it basically yes we live in a defiant uh lifestyle absolutely and that's 100 true and that's why we love it because we're bucking the system man um but to what you're saying is like okay yeah you've had this before you've done this before yeah i this before.
Yeah, I've had cheesecake before, but guess what? I would like some more cheesecake. You know what I'm saying? But it doesn't mean I have to have cheesecake every time I want cheesecake. Correct. And that's the point. So someone else says no is no, regardless of the meaning of the circumstances, for sure. Yes. Definitely agree with that. So people might have problems with the word no because of what?
and a fear of resentment what do you think of that yeah i think so i think that you know saying being able to be comfortable to say no to your partner and to take on whatever reaction is going to come from that you know you got to be willing to be able to stand tall in your answer like what you're saying if it's no and then okay and be okay with how whatever you're going to receive from your partner um in that regard and yes it could be easily but come on guys let's say we're human right yeah every time we can say all day like oh they say no okay cool and it's just gonna be cool and we're just gonna just leave it's not it's not that way all the time and that's how we had this hiccup right any other stuff that we've said no for example we were on um we were invited to a vacation with um some friends a group trip a group trip with a group of friends um and for whatever reason a lock just wasn't feeling it he wasn't feeling the like the group setting and the groups that were going group of friends that were going on his trip and he was like i don't feel comfortable and yeah i don't think that we should go uh with this group and i was like okay like are you sure Right.
And he was like, yeah, I don't think that we should go with this group. And I was like, okay, like, are you sure? And he was like, yeah, I don't feel comfortable. And that was the first time, I mean, he said no to like other minor things, but that was the first time that I was saying the majority that I was a yes and he was a no. I would agree with that. Is what I'm saying. I agree with that.
Because it because it's more so the opposite uh sweet talker chimes in it says we had a similar thing happen over the weekend i had to say no because it was what it was late 4 a.m in the morning and i was tired and didn't feel like it yeah perfectly good reason to say no and that's kind of how it was that night it wasn't super late that night but you were tired it was just we had a lot going on in that one night yeah for sure and sweet talking number one says no for some may also feel like rejection that's true that's true about that one yep so just to chime in no please jump in you know don and i we've been in for a while i was going i was pregnant and you know we we have never full swap and that's one like that's one thing where people are like what like they will make us feel bad about it no we've done everything i'm just kidding swap and it's just like that's what we what we wanted in our relationship that's right yeah sometimes you know we're like oh my god you know he or she and it's just like this is what we are what this is how we live our life in the life yeah we're not going by anyone else's standards but there was one time i was pregnant we went to a club it's probably probably like three months four months pregnant and i just didn't want to dance like and it was just like women they were just like well your man's gonna get taken if you don't dance with him and and i wasn't drinking so i wasn't like in there but i'm like no and don got mad because i didn't want to dance with him and i'm like look got you i'm i wasn't trying to my pregnancy as an excuse as we did decide to go out but i'm like i don't want to dance you weren't in the mood yeah yeah like we can go home or you can we can sit and drink and talk or whatever you want but you know so that was that was a big like we we had discussions about that for a very long time because i felt like he didn't have my back you know what i mean yeah and i was very very sad yeah but he didn't have my back he didn't mean he like took these girl sides of like yeah you need to come dance with me you know because they're saying and i'm like dude i'm you know you tina you just reminded me of something that i kind of wanted to bring up when it comes to no right here we go tread lightly this is tough this is this is murky water here tristan i had a discussion about this and it came up for this conversation and another one before this actually from the uh friction party sometimes when it's like a definitive no and and we're going to actually get into a good example of no and how you can make adjustments yep and actually you know what i'm gonna get there i'm gonna get there too um does no not does no have to be no but when we're at no can we talk about a creative option and i know again this is treading lightly this is murky water like because no means no but i'm talking about a relationship dynamic in the lifestyle meaning if tris does not want to do something is there still a window of opportunity for me to do something and the answer is yes to that we've done that before yes like we've trist has been creative and finding ways to say you know what no i'm not in the mood but go ahead and i think sometimes um you know i appreciate that and i think anybody would i think anybody would appreciate having uh creative options instead of it being just black and white because again like don mentioned we're in a we live in a we're we're operating in a lifestyle of um defiance yeah of bucking the system of figuring out how can we still do things how can we be different how can we be creative and crazy and you know when when we were at that house party you want to tell that story or me no because it was definitely you know your decision it was my decision and you know in that moment i just wasn't in the mood to do the things out my mood actually was socializing i just wanted to be social that day that was my actual mood that night i wasn't you know trying to play or do anything we had sex we had our own thing but i wasn't in a mood so you know lock was like you know he was prancing around and he found himself in situation and was like you know prancing that was the word that came to my brain at the time sorry yeah no um he wasn't the image that came to my head i was just like skipping skipping around that's cool that's cool i like it sorry um but yeah i was like yeah you know you can go ahead and do your thing um if you want to but my thing is is that right sometimes and and even with that night we we talked about the same example also the night when all of this happened we also bought up the house party the thing is is that you've had this thing where i do say okay no but then you can you know you can go ahead and do the things that you want to do or whatever that moment is.
Sometimes it's going to be that. But sometimes, actually, we had a discussion afterwards. It's before Mexico. Yep. And my conclusion with this whole discussion, we had it right before we went on our trip to Mexico, is that sometimes it's going to be no and go ahead and do you and do the things or whatever this moment or whatever this is you want to do.
But sometimes it's absolutely going to be no like everybody needs to go home we pet we taking our stuff and going home sometimes it's going to be a firm no right and there is no moving past that part so and i think that that to me was a great way to explain it because no can still be you have that little gray where maybe you can give something depending on whatever the situation is. But sometimes it is just not going to happen. Yeah. And I think that goes to the whole linear thing. Like, you know, the lifestyle isn't linear.
We don't have to follow a prescribed step by step we define how we experience this thing together like we define that we define our rules and um what we want to do we don't have to be full swap situational with everyone we don't have to be you know same room same day same play whatever the fuck you want to call it you know we don't have to live by that or you know uh bdsm and we have a dom sub relationship no she's a dom and i'm more of a switch i guess i don't know what the fuck but we don't define ourselves in these kind of ways right and um we don't put that we don't put those labels on us uh in our relationship So when it comes to situations, it's hard to try to look at the situations through that same kind of prism of you don't have to do this thing the exact same way.
There's no prescribed way. No, I think not every time. Yeah. Not every time. Every time is not right. Because sometimes no is like, no, I don't want to. Let's go home. I'm not in the mood to be here. I don't want to see sexy shit. I'm just ready to go. Or sometimes no is like, go ahead, be sexy, and I'll frolic over here. Right. You see how y'all did that? You said I pranced. I said you frolic. I frolic. Yeah. And then there's nothing wrong with if you're coming into that situation and you have something in mind. Yep. There's nothing wrong with going to the car or going to somewhere private.
Yeah. And you're like, hey, I know I said earlier not right i'm not feeling it you know and just take it somewhere else like when you do it like you never do it around people that's right yeah no no because people we picked that up people yeah yeah that's a good point okay to walk away and discuss it and change your mind and have your little time out exactly that's right it says uh one sweet talker says that sometimes no shouldn't have to be negotiable. That's right. Right. It doesn't. It doesn't. Another sweet talker says that we negotiate our no by saying it has to be before 4 a.m.
I'm with you because I'm not like trying to be up all late at night and we still trying to figure it out. Read the rest. I will give people between 12 and 2 a.m. That's me. She's like, it's time to pack up and go. We ain't done by four. I'm high-fiving you, girl. Yes. Air high-five. Yes, because I don't know why people want to be up at 2, 3, and we're still trying to do something. No, I need to go to sleep. That's what she says. She says, I need my sleep. Yes. I'm not about to be sitting here trying to figure this out at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. The next one says what?
Read your partner's mood. Meaning, everyone should read the room. If the temperature is not right, there is no compromise. No compromise, right. Essentially, if you're trying to keep your partner happy. Right, right.
Yes, that makes sense says agreed yes absolutely and that's kind of where we was going to go to wrap it up really um with the advice that we received you know i had to call i had to phone a friend on this one like yo this is crazy like what's happening what am i doing wrong i feel like i'm messing up i feel like i'm being you know i'm in my feelings and you know, this is crazy, you know, blah. Right. And basically what they tell us is like, yo, listen to your own damn show, right?
Like you guys do a part of your show that you're talking about how you feeling, make that more, incorporate that even more into your, your discussions before you go out really try to have that conversation up front um so that you know have the awkward conversation up front you know hammer all that shit out in the beginning so that you do not have a problem on the back end because that's the harder problem to solve and they also actually laid out that same kind of parameter and with the um sometimes they set a clock they not a clock you know not a fucking timer but they have a time limit like hey look if nothing's going down by this time we're bailing yeah you know what I mean but then that just means to me like he just like time to go ticking.
Figure this out. Time to go. Let me just let me work. Let me work my magic. No. Of course not. Of course not. But no, I think those kinds of things are helpful. Right. Yes. Like really having those how you feel in discussions.
And we was having this discussion before we went to temptations at the end of 2021, where we had the overall conversation before we got on a plane like what do you want to happen what do you might be open to uh happening on the trip right and then there was the day-to-day all right what you feeling today you know before we go out and we met some beautiful people you're trying to go to dinner what do you think how are you feeling about this or possibilities with these people and you had those discussions and that way i'm sorry go ahead but still with the with the with thinking that things can change right it's not going to stay the same because we discussed it on the plane right and or you know or at the result when we got to uh temptations it's not going to just stay the same it could change and and i get that part like you can move as the mood changes or the energy whatever you want to call it then um as it changes right because you want to be able to give your partner that room to kind of change their mind right i just love yes so much does anyone else love yes let's clap it up for yes yes i love yes he loves yes yes is amazing isn't it the best stories come from yes but also what i'm telling lock is that sometimes it can be oversaturated of yes right if you just keep doing the same thing the same thing you always say yes to this one thing all the time then it gets stale and boring because you're just constantly saying yes to the exact same thing oh man we've been on that road yes so you like i love yes but also you know you want to kind of keep it fresh and not have yes be like the majority every time we have to do this thing because it presented itself and to us on a platter and we got to say yes quality over quantity huh yes i mean you can still be a hoe but you can be a quality hoe you know i'm just saying she said quality she did hashtag quality hoe somebody said 100 sweet talking in.
I love it. Do you think whenever yes becomes stale, that maybe it's just time to change up what you do? Change up what you do. Like just do something. Just do something different. Oh, yeah. That's too. Uh-huh. Yeah. And Sweet Talker number one one says i like to call that selective yes yes selective yes that's right you're not you're very uh judicious with your yes with your yes you just go sprinkling that shit on everything nope you know you just you save some of that hoe dust magic dust but it's so wonderful babe i love that hoe dust sprinkle me maybe that's Oh, sprinkle me. Sprinkle me.
Was it E-40 or something? Sprinkle me a hoe dust. Oh, man.
wonderful babe i love that hoe dust sprinkle me remember that's all sprinkle me was it oh man but no um i agree with you don like you know when it comes to saying yes and then yes get stale now it's time to start switching up and i guess that's how trist you know walked around and became mistress mistress oh i have to tell y'all something but i'm gonna tell you i'm gonna tell you on ig i'm gonna show you and i'm gonna tell you a teaser because i have something for them and i need to tell my friend first okay so i can't tell y'all first i have to tell them first so stay tuned uh.
Look out on IG for whatever Miss Trist is up to. I'll tell you the color is red. Oh, man. Love it. So, all right, Trist, do you think we put a nice bow on this finally? I think we did. Can we did this one? I think we did. Are you feeling better about your nose? I'm feeling all the way better about saying no. I'm feeling good about no, too, baby.
too i think we're in a good place there's not to say that we probably won't have this discussion again at some point but i think it'll be better right we'll know how to handle it yes and i think that's the point and hopefully somebody else will be able to handle a good no discussion also man like it's not the end of the world i think that was one of the points you wanted to make like no isn't the end of the world you know there'll be other vaginas other orgies there'll be other penises you can jump on all of them yeah but that's how you operate anyway like it's just the penis i'll get the next one it'll come back it'll be back around me on the other hand's like where is what happened to the vagina i'm never going to see it again yeah missed opportunity you must live in abundance man live in abundance i love it listen ladies and gentlemen this has been fun really appreciate y'all spending some time with us as always love our sweet talkers really appreciate y'all chiming in checking in giving us your feedback your comments y'all make the the conversation so much more fruitful and uh enjoyable really appreciate y'all so thank you again thank you always and we'll catch y'all next time.
All right, guys. Bye. Again, we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us. To everyone who couldn't join us live in the suite, check out our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Play and iHeart Radio. Be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Feel free to email us at livingthesweetlifepodcast at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Instagram at thesweetlifepodcast and on Twitter at sweetlifepod. Don't forget to subscribe to us on our YouTube channel at livingthesweetlifepodcast so that you can be a sweet talker the next time.
So do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests? Until next time, keep living the sweet life. Bye. So do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests? Until next time, keep living the sweet life. Bye.
