In this episode, we finally battle it out LIVE with all of our Suite-Talkers present about which play style we prefer: Organic or Planned! Which do you prefer?Do you enjoying knowing what s at the end of the rainbow or do you want to find out when you get there? Does knowing what to expect diminish the sexiness of the encounter?Take a listen and see how we and our Suite Talker Community feels about the situation!As always, thanks for listening!Be sure to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!JOIN US in Dallas, TX for PCAPEncore November 5 - 8, 2021!!Check out our show and MANY others on FullSwapRadio!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: [email protected] us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle. From newbies to longtime swingers, or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex-positive discussion.
Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself comfortable and join us in this episode of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my sexy chocolate husband yes i am baby proud to be that i will get it tattooed on my neck one day when we get a face tattoo it that says that sexy chocolate husband i hope not not a permanent one anyway Thank you. I am, baby. Proud to be that. I will get it tattooed on my neck one day. Or we get a face tattoo that says that sexy chocolate husband. I hope not. Not a permanent one anyway. We'll see.
You never know. Wild and crazy times in Vegas. So, folks, again, thank you so much for joining us in this episode. This is episode number 52. We are moving right along. We're really proud to be here. We're waiting for some of our sweet talkers to jump in and hang out with us always a blast when y'all get in here and start chiming in um for anybody who is this is your first time checking out living the sweet life podcast we do a live youtube and we will always welcome you all to jump in there and uh chit chat with us and give us your and your feedback.
It's always a good time, but y'all know how it is, man. So this episode is going to be fun. We have been waiting and teasing and teasing and talking about this organic thing.
And quite coincidentally, the episode took a life of its own organically last time because we started talking about a house party and we kind of deviated away from what we were planning to talk about so we're going to get to that tonight but first let me knock out some of this housekeeping feel free to email us at the sweet life podcast at gmail.com follow us on instagram at the sweet life podcast and follow us on twitter at Sweet Life Pod and YouTube. Always feel free to jump over, check out the YouTube live stream for all of my sweet talkers who could not catch us live.
You can also check out the podcast, all the major podcast catchers. We're having a good time. We're always having fun. We're always meeting and greeting new people.
And, you know, we're going to have a good time good time there hey sweet talking number one chiming in says hey guys hey guys how are you doing listen um i'm checking out your ig like on the daily basis and i do too actually i check out your ig as well yo she posted one i don't know if it was today or yesterday but those eyes you were just kind of like looking up at the camera like on the floor with your little legs all twisted and contorted that was sexy i was like wait is she she looking at me yeah that's for me i'm coming i'm on my way wherever you at but no um yeah man so that's right yeah check us out all the podcast catchers check us out on the youtube uh if you want to check out the live stream hit the uh the little notification bell and you will be notified whenever we go live um hey another sweet talker says howdy howdy hey with your sexy self yeah i'm gonna talk about you in a minute but um yeah man uh so yeah this life's been good for that right so go ahead and check out all of those places to catch us i feel like i'm tripping over myself here trist did you get it all i think so you're supposed to let me know if i did you did you got it all you was busy i was busy talking to our friends you know it's a hard job here uh-huh double double duty i got double duties i gotta say hi on the live i gotta be live right here Here we go.
You know, it's a hard job here. Uh-huh. Double duty. I got double duties. I got to say hi on the live. I got to be live right here in the suite. So I'm getting it done. You are. You're always getting it done, baby. That's all that counts. Nobody does it better. You know, I try. So before we get into all tonight's shenanigans, and I promise you I'm going to get this train back on the track because I'm tripping over myself a little bit.
Hey, Tribe Chat, NK Swingers checking iners checking in they say hey y'all hi hey what's up folks um how are you feeling y'all know what it is i gotta check in with the boo i gotta make sure she's doing well gotta make sure she's happy and in a good place to play tonight so baby how you feeling you know i'm feeling pretty great um yesterday i got to hang out with some of my friends i got to hang out with some of my friends i haven't seen in a while it was a mix of vanilla and lifestyle friends so that's always a great time it was great catching up with everyone uh we had a plenty of wine that's right you had a party yes it was a a girls only party that's right uh plenty of wine fun laughs it's always great uh when you're going through your lifestyle uh journey you meet new friends right and i totally forgot like proper etiquette yesterday i forgot to tell you that so i did not mention to my new friends that yes some of these people are lifestyle as well so because the question was asked later um it's like oh are these lifestyle people because it's kind of like you need to know like what the parameters are so you know what you can like say can't say or anything but majority of the people either were lifestyle or knew um about the lifestyle okay so but i just forgot to mention it so no anal no uh butt plugs in the goodie bags no butt plugs in the goodie bags no right right okay it's only a certain audience you can do that with yes that would get it and be like oh my gosh not clutch there pearls why did you bring this to the party now no none of those people would have been um it it all surprised actually one of the gifts was um an item that we reviewed it was the tulip uh vibrator the rose the rose rose right it's a rose vibrator and um i would like to say that that gift got kind of um the popular one that everybody was trying to get.
Apparently it has a great reviews and multiple people had it already in the group. So it's great. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, I had to drop in right quick, crash the party, me and the baby, crash the party, get some chicken wings and some finger food real quick yeah right oh sweet talker says she got hers talking about that rose and she loves it oh great so quick question was that first setting um a little too powerful for you what did what did you think of it is it is it loud is it um did you did it take a little bit of time to find the right setting to get you where you needed to be let us know because uh it took trust it didn't take you too long no to figure it out but you did have to figure it out it was a little intimidating off the jump right yes yes yeah yeah so um so how are you feeling me.
I'm feeling motivated and inspired to meet some new people. Because yesterday we went to a playground meet and greet down in the city. And it was phenomenal. Yes, we haven't been to a meet and greet in a while. Yeah, in a couple of years, man, for obvious reasons.
But this one, it was so was so dope to get back out i mean these people put in a lot of effort and they're very communicative they keep us posted on everything because things are starting to change you know as far as mask mandates and all that stuff but they kept us um informed at all times letting us know this thing's still going and i can only imagine what was going on behind the scenes of them trying to plan and coordinate and finalize all the details to get all these sexy bodies into this one room and good gracious they did i'm glad they did i'm glad it all worked out because i mean we were able to make some new connections we were able to um you know see some folks that we hadn't seen in a while um one of our sweet talker friends who was actually a guest on our show miss paradise and mr deep pendable were in the building and they were looking all hot and phenomenal looking like a whole sex vixen i'm trying to tell you it was a mix of old and new um shit we had our friends sid and dre from one of our older um episodes um they were in the building too and they are moving right along in their lifestyle journey those hotties love them yeah man it was a good good event man we got to get some drinks and just mosey on around once we dropped the baby off we thought we only had about a half hour to kick it oh my god we was gonna make the best best out of that half an hour we thought we only had half an hour we were in the car like all right so we just got to come in we just got to go we got to go we was like yeah i mean it was looking like it was only going to be a opportunity to just say hi to our friends and probably not even meet any new bodies but once we got in and they said no man it's not going to end at 10 o'clock we're going to keep this thing going it was like okay cool so we had some room some flexibility to make our way around and i think we still got it babe i think lock always still has it so he's sitting there like he's gonna met a friend she's just like oh you know i'm into ropes and he's like me too hey my name is lock how are you like let's let's talk about that how did you really feel about these ropes how how did you like it how often do you like it yeah all of that things and he's like and then by the way can i have your number look man luck is where preparation and opportunity meet so yes i was prepared for that opportunity absolutely yeah and it was great we ran into some people that we met at PCAP also at this party so it was great to see them that's right and they are hot we followed them on Twitter y'all know who y'all are y'all sexy as hell and they're going to come down to the next PCAP to the next PCAP yes speaking go ahead.
We had a great time. It was just overall a great time. It was just lovely to meet people. Some people we haven't seen in two years, actually. So it was great to see them hang out, you know, laugh. Oh, yeah, and Bedroom Bliss was in the building, too. Oh, Bedroom Bliss was in the building also. Those are the homies.
So it was great to see them too yeah so it was a an overall a great night the event itself was fantastic awesome with a whole bunch of sexiness the drinks were so spicy oh my gosh it was like a spicy tequila it was spicy yo yeah i wasn't expecting that so right a spicy tequila old-fashioned it was wild yeah it was a little different i just was not expecting it to be like spicy but i took that thing down i'm telling you but one of my favorite things was just watching you flutter around the room um we've gotten into this comfortable space of like divide and conquer and it's very very cool that's kind of what it was that's what you call it yeah i mean you went and go talk to a couple single men or at least one single male.
And then there was another guy. You was attracted to his pink suit. It was just like you were like a moth to a flame. No, I just wanted to compliment him on his suit because I can appreciate the effort that people can put into something. He wasn't the only one I complimented. He wasn't. And that's my point. Other friend, you know, that had the sunshines on their shirt.
Oh, it was right no it was like a smiley face that was within like a daisy or just like a flower but i just noticed the little details you know i mean because men need to know they need compliments too right and it was a plenty of chocolate baldness of men it was quite a few around there's quite a few of you guys like walking around like is it a bald night it might be a fault and i complimented the guy on his salt and pepper hair like i was just giving out compliments if you was looking for a compliment like at the event as a male you should have just came to me you was kind of because i was i was giving them you were now.
I was giving him out. Proud of you. Thank you. I try. I complimented our other friend on his gymnast pic. Oh, my goodness. That he sent. But I loved it. He didn't send it to me. But I got to see it, and I told him it was very lovely. Thank you for sending that pic. Oh, man. So, yeah, I mean, that was me. It was a great, great night.
And, you know more looking forward to more because it was good to see those people it was good to see some new people new people and new faces but like i said i'm in the mood to meet some people i mean i want to help out i want to contribute to the pot right because when you meet somebody you know you meet somebody and they and you ask them how do they hear about the meet and greet, and they'll say, you know, Sid and Dre invited us, or Nate and Liv invited us, stuff like that. I want somebody to say, Lock and Trist invited us. You know, I want to contribute to the pot.
Like, we got to bring some more sexy people. We got to keep this thing going. So, yeah, man, we're going to start looking around on these little websites and all that. I know I keep saying that, and, you know, life keeps getting the best of us.
I was going to say it realistically we're gonna do it we're gonna do it i i don't i don't know we're gonna but i i just like you yeah we'll see if that's gonna be realistic but it was great like i said you got to meet people you got to learn what nice nasty was um yeah that was i i got i got hip to that yeah he was like have you ever heard of a term called nice nasty i was like yes i've never heard that shit before but i'm here for it he was like now do explain you sexy woman that's telling me about nice nasty tell me how you could be nice nasty to me i say here you go putting on moves get them numbers good times good times i just sat back and just stayed in my lane whatever man let's catch up a little bit um nk chimes in and says guys y'all heard about the new settings on instagram you might want to check your settings to make sure you are not blocked from seeing some accounts on ig with not safe for work type profiles ah got it okay thanks omari the rebel we will check into that uh another sweet talker yep she says she got her rose yeah yeah and then she said it's a little loud the first setting i had to get used to um i was not ready for it to be that powerful see what i'm saying see that thing was tannic lit up huh babe now it was the rest of the go ahead it was what it was just really powerful yeah like i'm trying to last a little bit right no knock that thing out so we can get like three more no the rest of the settings are not for the faint i couldn't handle it all no i've only made it to level two that's We need to take some practice.
Mr. Dependable chimes in and said it was a great time. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Duchess Cashmere of the Cashmere Room Podcast. This queen has just stepped in the building. She said, of course you do. Hey, woman, how you doing? And somebody, everybody else say hey duchess and someone says i love me some tequila yeah me too that's spicy i do love a tequila he does he loves a tequila but that uh that spicy one got me that spicy one definitely got me um and uh it put a little surprise on me but it was okay it was okay um let's see what else go ahead uh let's see oh i just love I love it.
a little surprise on me but it was okay it was okay um let's see what else go ahead uh let's see oh i just love watching her move around the people we're talking about the meet and greet right um that just says like hi to one of the sweet talkers i was making a drink only in a margarita and they like the spicy oh no tequila only in a margarita now i can do that i can do the tequila in a margarita um but not like he likes tequila like straight up and i mean i just like it in things too it's one of my favorites all right sorry sorry okay well cool thanks for chiming in there sweet talkers it's gonna be a good night we're gonna have some fun however i'm gonna take a backtrack real quick before we get into the episode make sure y'all check out pcap encore it's going to be going down november 5th through the 8th in dallas texas and we are going to be there in the building we're going to be doing a presentation um of what we don't know yet that's going to be the fun we probably don't decide until we on the plane no i'm kidding no he's not we're not doing that that's not what's going to happen but no because we are definitely not we are already trying to narrow it down so that's not what we're doing i know look the boss had to step in so yes dallas texas november 5th through the 8th podcast hyphen a hyphen palooza dot com slash sweet life check it out hit the link and um see if you know if you got the time if uh all of the wonderful pool party if you like pool parties you know what i'm saying or if you like playrooms you know little things like that and shabari lessons and dope ass seminars i mean it's only a few little things like that and you get to hang out with us you forgot about that part with us if you interested in any of those things click the link yes come on through and the link's available in the link tree guys so um it's available at all times.
If you need to go to it, just go to the Linktree and the PCAP section. That's right. And don't forget you can find us on Full Swap Radio on Thursdays. We're on twice a day on Thursdays at FullSwapRadio.com. And Trish wants to say thank you to all the OnlyFans. And thanks to the OnlyFans. Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much for participating in the for participating in the only fans again if there's anything that you want to see make sure you send us a message um or purchase i gotta say that now um let us know but thank you guys for the only fans again that's also in the link tree if you're interested. That's right. That's right. Cool. So now, again, I know I keep getting us off the rails. I'm going to pull us back on one more time. So, beautiful wife, wonderful sweet talkers, are you ready to get into tonight's episode? Let's do it. Let's go.
go all right ladies and gentlemen thank you so much for hanging in there we are back with episode 52 man oh man again this is the topic that we have been playing around with for a little while we always fuss about it in the car or when we're going somewhere or when we just kind of like yeah when we're kind of sitting around or like when we're about to go out somewhere like when we're planning a date this always kind of rears its head and it's not necessarily contentious or anything but it's very interesting so we want to hear what you guys think about the myth, I believe, the myth of organic, organic play.
So it's a myth to him kind of kind of so the last time we talked excuse me the last time we talked to y'all we we were kind of in the last episode episode 51 we were kind of talking about the lifestyle not being linear going in a straight line going in a sequential order step one step two step three then you move on to the next level you know what i mean whatever that is and we're gonna make it and how um you can want something you can want to participate in a certain way or do a certain thing that night before a date but but your partner is really not kind of feeling that at all.
So for us, in the last episode, we talked about how we kind of organically modified our play style on the fly. And usually we don't do that. And I keep saying it wasn't on the fly because we actually already had a discussion previously before we even got to this party.
It had nothing to do with the party.'s just kind of that conversation came up again at the party right and we just made those adjustments based on that conversation you're absolutely right so tonight we want to kind of pick up where we left off so we introduced some of our conflicting thoughts on organic play and dating expectations so Trist I'm going to ask you I'm'm gonna ask all my sweet talkers out there when within the sound of my voice what does organic mean to you what does organic play mean organic play can be it's basically a unplanned event okay it doesn't have to be fully planned out like okay so we're going to have you know sex tonight sometimes it can just organically We'll be right back.
event okay it doesn't have to be fully planned out like okay so we're going to have you know sex tonight sometimes it can just organically happen like there's a vibe and it leads to sex or play or whatever the case is going to be that night okay so organic means that it's unplanned right kind of what you're saying i'm saying unplanned for the fact of that. We're not. It's not a preconceived notion that we're having sex. Hmm. Okay. And I know you're going to try to get me. So I'm ready. That's what it is. I'm staying ready. So whatever you got.
That's why I'm glad we're having this discussion in front of the audience because he gets friends. Yeah. Well, our sweet talkers. That's right. But because he we've not on the same page. We've. Yeah. No. We just see it a little differently. It's not that we're not on the same page, but as we see a little differently. So unplanned, you see it as me. Okay. How do I frame this? Like when it comes to organic, do I see that as meaning unplanned? Yes, I do. However, I believe that in the lifestyle, a lot of this stuff is planned or at least you're ready for it. You're prepared for it.
Um um now i think there are a lot of conversations that have to take place between you know you and your significant other and then you and whomever you're about to go on that date with um to to level set what may or may not happen you agree or no no because i think that i think you just described two different things right okay being ready for something doesn't mean that it can't organically happen so you're saying that oh you know that there's some type of planning that went in so that i can be ready just because you're being ready for something doesn't mean that we've had a preconceived notion a conversation that hey we're going to play so um you're right and but i'm going to call you out on bullshit because what you completely disagree with that notion that you just put out because we'll get to that too oh as far as you being ready for something because you always think that sex is going to happen if you bring a condom that's not the case oh.
Oh, okay. See, but that's exactly where I was going to go, but that's not the case. Okay. Anyway, so with unplanned, organic means unplanned, does it mean no expectations? Does organic mean you don't have any expectations for that evening, for that night, for that day, whatever it is, for that outing or that date? Yes. Okay.
So you don't have any have any expectations i believe that you're kind of just winging it and yes you're having a great night you're just enjoying each other's company yes but you're not packing a rubber or nothing see and that's what i'm saying to you like just because okay you're saying like oh i can't pack a rubber you can pack a rubber if that's what you feel comfortable with. But I'm saying that I'm not going into this date. Like, here's my deal. I want to back up a second. For lifestyle dating, right, I feel like that there are levels to it, right?
So if I'm going out, for example, with a new couple who I've never been out with before and this is our first time like going out, yes, I would like to know what is your expectation of this date? And I feel like that that is fair to ask those questions to know what you're kind of walking into on this date when you're going on a date new. And sweet talkers, please chime in. I could be wrong, but I feel like that you would know. Like, I wanna know what you're expecting, right? If you're expecting sex, for example, and I'm not, we need to have that discussion upfront.
And you're saying that if we have a discussion and we decide yes sex could be on the table that that makes it not organic right right yeah i believe that okay so in that scenario i probably will agree with you but i don't agree with you when it comes to other like when you've already built some type of relationship with people okay that it can't just happen organically okay we'll get to that and i'm not even saying that you've played with them i'm just saying built a relationship not even saying you've played before and then you guys just went on a date right i'm just saying built a relationship okay you touch on a lot of stuff that i got bullets for oh but no that's good stuff.
You got the ball rolling. So as far as like going another level of what organic may or may not mean to someone when you are going on a date, it does implied count. Implied but not spoken. Let me set the scenario for you, please queen and these beautiful sweet talkers. Now, if you have a date, going on a date, you set a date with a couple, is playtime implied here, right? If we set a date for 8.30, 9 p.m. on a Saturday, we're going to the house. We're not going out to eat.
We're going the house some hot tub might be involved hey yeah the hot tub's ready if anybody wants to get in swimsuit's optional right we're gonna we're gonna order like some appetizers no nothing with garlic or anything like that nothing heavy garlic you know we're going to keep it light finger foodie you know what I'm saying oh and we'll definitely be drinking and you know um and that's definitely open on the table right so with those kind of factors in there is playtime implied and with that impl those implications is it now you're setting the scene for something organic to happen or is it planned is that a plan what do you think we can't have dead air trist i'm thinking i'm literally trying to think well you'd think i'll catch up with the sweet talkers duchess cashmere says i I'm always prepared, even if I don't expect anything.
If all we hit. Yeah, if we all hit it off, I want to be ready. Love that. That's right. NK says, yes, I'm always down for upfront conversation. I believe personally as adults, life's adults, lifestyle or not, this should be the default. Yep.
default yep and someone else says nope it's not implied in that scenario oh right okay uh she she was responding to say that in that scenario of the late night hot tub clothes on clothes off is not necessarily implied fair fair um and someone else chimes in and says i truly hear both your argument uh they are both out both valid listen no wrong answer i need to win i'm kidding um duchess chimes in again and says condoms toys floggers everything my husband will always ask flat out that's what i like about him not implied some yeah she's also said in that scenario it's not implied nk also chimes in it says lol we need a comparison we need to know what does non-organic play look like like do you announce hey we smashing tonight we smashing right uh uh what oh my bad my y'all know what it is the contacts man like do you need to announce hey we are smashing uh we are smashing right and then finish off the strengths oh i mean maybe maybe some people like that yeah another sweet talker says uh last one says um you're going to have to say it straight up for us.
Okay. Okay. So I don't think when we go back to this type of scenario, is it implying that you're trying to have sex? It's kind of mood setting. It's kind of mood setting. It's kind of laying down the groundwork for an opportunity to happen for something organic to happen, quote unquote. Um, but this is this goes to my my belief is that, you know, someone's going to have to make the move. Someone's going to have to be ready. Someone's going to have to say, you know, hey, y'all down for this? Anybody, you know, what is it? Circle of consent.
Let's talk about what you're feeling, what you might be feeling in in this and does that equal planning if someone has that conversation because i know if i was to just break that out without having a conversation with you i would get my hand slapped for that right and why is that why would i get my hand slapped for that because i i don't never i don't want to put pressure like that on anyone true and especially not on you like i would never do that to you put you in an awkward position hey everybody want to have some sex and not have cleared that with you first yes or set that opportunity set that invite and not have the conversation of hey trist this is what i'm thinking you know we've been dating these folks for a while they're finally coming over we want to you know how you've been feeling about this and you know is this something you might entertain can um are you going to let the leash off me to maybe poke around and see how they feeling about it to see if something organically can happen or is it just you planning it right see and that's the thing i don't we're going to get nowhere with this because i still believe that organic play can happen because it's the same thing like if i'm out at a club for example and i meet a guy and we go on a date and i'm turned on by him whatever there's a vibe and we have sex that was not planned necessarily and that was organic i'm saying the same thing can happen in the lifestyle and you're saying no you're jumping side to side here tris because just a moment ago you said before you go on a date you need to reach out and have a conversation to find out what's going to go down what are they expecting right oh well yeah i do that with lifestyle people.
I be you know i discriminate so it's like you're jumping back and forth and i think that's what we're kind of exposing here is that there is no right or wrong answer there is no one size fits all for this it's um it's kind of like it just i don't know it's like you just play for what you feel for the opportunity like if you go out on a date and you're vibing, like that you said, you're vibing and you're chilling and you're having that, you know, a good everybody's a funky good time. And everybody's kind of leaning in, laughing and touching and all that. You never know what could happen.
But then on the other hand, you could before you go on a date, like Trish said earlier, you could have that conversation, you know, what, what are you guys kind of expecting? Um, you know, it's kind of setting the, setting the mood, setting the stage or setting the expectations of what may or may not happen. Is that kind of, yes, but that's still, even with that conversation, it still leads to some type of organic play.
Because that doesn't mean just because we had a conversation of what the expectation is, that that means that when we go on this date that we bought it is about to throw it down. Right. Because it's still for me has to be some type of vibe. Of course.
that happens even you know after that and i'm just saying like even even though if we don't play it i say on the first date or whatever the case but then we do plan a session on the next day then that's not organic right that's to me that's planning planning okay i think what you're trying to um a situation that you're trying to remove yourself from and make it clear You're trying to draw a line in the sand to say right here right now that if we go on a date nothing is promised that's i think that's essentially what you're trying to yes right and you don't have to say that is my point you don't have to say that because we we you and i know that that's the case yeah i know that but i don't want to i don't i don't want to give people false um what is it false hope i guess i guess if you would say that um and and be up front like hey what are you expecting so that i can evaluate at that time like if this is even going to work out as far as us going on this date because if you just trying to go on a date say hey i'm just trying to smash i'm not going on a date you know that's just i need to know right so we're taking that and making it very very personal so i think we'll do a better service of the people who are listening if we kind of explore the whole the whole idea of it you know what i mean of organic or planning.
And let's keep going. Let's keep rolling. Let's keep rolling a little bit. I want to find out if it matters to anyone, you know, a planned scenario versus something that just kind of falls in their lap. And let's catch up a little bit with some of the sweet talkers. I like both. But let's, yeah. I think you do, right? I do like both. Because I, and the reason why I say that, and we are going to get to the sweet talkers. The reason why I say I like both is because it can get stale sometimes, especially if it's repetitive people that you consistently go out with.
You don't want to get in kind of to that repetitive, like hamster wheel. Like we, first we go to the hotel and then we have sex and then we go to dinner and it becomes like a repetitive cycle, right?
So you do need that organic part to kind of keep it fresh where there is no conversation or expectation or whatever the case and we just go on this date and have a good time and then it just led into play but it wasn't like anybody was expecting that right so i like both but that's what no yeah i was going to say um in that kind of situation right where the hamster wheel is spinning right everybody's kind of caught up in this cycle of doing the same old same old i think the opposite would probably help i think planning would probably help i think I think, listen, hold on. Hit me out.
Hit me out. I think saying, hey, y'all, would y'all like to try this new thing? Would you rather, instead of this hotel, can we go to an Airbnb instead? Can we do a winery instead of going to the club?
How about we useDSM stuff anybody down for that because that's something you do have to clear you got to have a conversation about that that's a level of planning and I think that that's still sexy and I think you can have a very sexy conversation that revolves around planning your next episode to break that cycle to get out of the hamster wheel to say you know hey we got we're into this new thing are you guys into this new thing you know and try to broaden it out that way so yeah a little bit of planning might be kind of sexy in some scenarios but go ahead let's catch up all right so sweet talker says that hey i got a plan around my period so they need to know the expectations yes for sure see if i'm gonna go on this date i understand that uh another sweet talker says that it's easier to have the conversation in the beginning because i don't want people to get the wrong idea just because you're in the lifestyle doesn't mean i want to have sex that's exactly that's true uh that's that's me thank you um i don't think i don't think verbal consent takes away from an organic experience that was duchess that was that and i agree with that i don't think verbal let's slow down for that one that's a good one i don't think verbal consent takes away the organic experience that's saying like okay like we mentioned in the last episode um you know i got to play with that young lady in the room alongside her husband verbal consent was like okay hey you know we're about to do this thing do you want to and she said yeah you know fuck me or whatever that verbal consent it's still you know lended itself to that organic experience you know what i mean um me asking what she wanted or what she wanted to do it still had an opportunity to to breathe life into something organic happening right it did i agree with that part okay uh someone said right at dutchess cashmere i was just typing the same thing awesome and dutchess says the circle of consent is very sexy negotiation makes me wet i love the circle of consent i do i do i love finding out i love when it's like established hey okay we're about to do this thing what are your limits what do you want to do what do you not want to do what are you comfortable with and we have that quick little check-in with everyone involved you know if it's if it's about to be like a big orgy or if it's just like a couple's kind of situation everybody's good and everybody checks in i do find that pretty sexy myself pretty pretty exciting uh let's see uh now as we talk sex is it's better to know halfway through the conversation are we smashing or are we continuing to sip and chill i think knowing it can still feel organic okay so it can still feel organic but is that is that planning babe in your book if i were to do that if we're sitting around with the friends and we're we're kind of chilling and i whisper in your ear can i can i say to them are they ready to play what would you do how would you react again dead air no i know no it's not dead air because like it i'm trying to be like it depends on are you saying in general or is it like a new person i don't know okay for extreme specifics i probably would be like babe stop that's probably what would happen like that's exactly what would happen and i would have to go off of that like i would have to try to decipher what does that mean like babe stop like was it a flirty babe stop with a blush like are you blushing or are you like boy cut it out before i leave and it's like yeah i gotta try to figure out like cut it out but like stop trying to like force something and that's where we always bump heads yes because you say somebody has to ask yes and that's what he always says that that's forcing and and does that quote-unquote forcing a situation is that organic because if it because me trying to move the ball forward or trying to find out where everyone what everyone wants to do next that's not i don't think that's forcing it and i don't think that takes away from the organic nature of the play situation i think somebody just has to do it but you make me think that it's it's not organic if you do that like but somebody got to do it somebody got to say hey i just don't want to come across as like i'm i i'm just trying to smash you You know, like, oh, I had a great time.
But the whole time I was planning to smash, you know, like, I don't want to be that person, that guy. Even if I've had that in the back of my head that I was trying to smash the whole entire night. But you just don't want me to say it.
I don't know because I don't want to be I don't want to be that person i want to know you were lovely you had a great time and i did okay let me ask you this because i have an assumption what do would you rather the other side of the table initiate no if if if no okay fair fair reaction but let me let me try to qualify this a little bit more in that scenario where you have it in your head that i want to smash or whatever but you just don't want me to say it and if they initiate is that okay then how are we ever going to have sex with people how do we ever have sex with people if i can't say it and they can't say it y'all look i don't know how we done got this far i don't know why y'all listen to us i don't know how we got this far but we make it happen it happens oh you drive me crazy um catch up with some of these people because you making no sense to me uh i make perfectly good sense we've we've been this live in the lifestyle for eight years all right someone says so trist is vibing a part of the organic expectation oh is vibing a part of the organic expectation for you yes right total is actually mostly a part of my lifestyle experience but how you know you're on the same wavelength if you don't say nothing babe i just want to spill the energy in the air and then you just pull a titty out and no and then i just put on my charm i got this so okay then fine if you don't want me to say anything you don't want them to say anything you want to be the one to say hey let's have sex no no like no i don't know look everybody's just supposed to just pull their shit out at the same time and just start fucking i hope everybody's listening to this that's the way she wants it she wants everybody just start fucking magically no i'm just playing some type of charm i don't know don't just say hey no y'all trying to fuck no i'm not trying to no of course not of course it has to be something smooth right i'm trying to say i it was a lot of jokes in there i was fucking with you a lot i was busting your balls a lot okay but to bring it in for real in a situation you kind of have to have somebody who is going to lay on the charm lay on the pardon my the talking.
Yes. Someone has to do that. Someone has to be the kind of facilitator, you know, and find out how else does the circle, how else will the circle of consent happen if someone doesn't say, hey, y'all, let's have the circle of consent talk. Somebody has to do that. Yes.
you know and i i don't know where that comes in sometimes i mean you're right but i think that you i think this is where we balance you see it as being thirsty i but it's not it's just like okay we're all here we're all consenting adults let's talk about you know what we're going to do yes and you most of the time become the facilitator and when it comes to when we're in a foursome of play you got some friends who will probably disagree with that though in a foursome in any any and there have been situations with some friends where i am i'm in the back i don't say anything like i don't say anything with some of our friends who i have wanted to have sex with well if those friends ever listen y'all send me a text because i don't know what you talk about i'll explain to you later yeah most of the time you are the facilitator and i am not uh when it comes to foursome now threesomes yeah that's debatable because i think i'm a little bit more dominant at times with threesomes.
You are. And it's hot. No complaints there. Next topic. He's like, I'm not debating that one. Moving on. Whew. Gosh. It's so many things. Okay. We got a lot going on. Go ahead.
Read that that one so let's see um uh nk says but what is the classy way to spell out your intentions right how do you be honest in a conversation like yes trish we would prefer to clap cheeks later on shall we shall we just messing with y'all but yo that's exactly my fucking point that's exactly my point like what does she want do you want like naughty vulgar or do you want like smooth sensual somebody who's just going to kind of like beat around the bush to maybe not get there somebody i mean there of course there's more than just that dichotomy it's definitely a gray area in between those two things right you know where you can you know play playfully um you know work your charm and ask questions about what what you want to do tonight or whatever maybe even like a game right little games little icebreaker games sometimes get a little flirting started things like that maybe help for an organic situation to happen i'm gonna move on a little bit um man we've gotten to a lot of this stuff just um just by rapping so um you can go ahead okay so the sweet talker says that consent and talking about ideas and such can be also sexy, right?
Experience, not expectation. See, and that's what we're talking about. It says that I agree the talk is hot. It was talking about like the consent and ideas and things like that. And I agree with that. Like talking about it can be hot.
I think that a lot of my, I guess, hiccups come with first dates of getting to know people more so not as much i don't i don't have those type of questions as far as expectations or organicness when it comes to people who we've been out with multiple times and have kind of established relationship with because at that point i feel like i know you enough to kind of know what could or could not you know happen i can read you a little bit better at that point um when it comes to new people i don't know you yet so it's just i need to kind of like figure you out and and what you're trying to do sure yeah i don't think we've ever played on the first date no actually i don't think so i mean that's just our play style you know what I mean that's something for us now other people you know prefer they might prefer to do it on a first date and I wouldn't be objecting to it it's just that I mean man like I said that vibe is there and I'm feeling the mood, it's like it's Friday night.
Yeah, you just don't want anybody to ask for it. I'm feeling fine. You just don't want me to say it. I don't know. You're just going to be feeling it and bottled all up, all toiling on the inside of you. But then we go home and be like, yeah, you was feeling the mood. Yeah, I would have hit it that night. Well, God damn it. Why you ain't say something?
did yep my wife my queen so i think at some point everyone needs to be on the same page about the possibilities of a night right so if you are dating a couple um maybe first second third date whatever it is you're in the lifestyle you're going to have conversations about sex play styles um interests bdsm toys no toys do you like these things do you like voyeur do you have you gone to these resorts you're going to have a sexy conversation at some point maybe right um so i think prior to going on dates you you might end up having an idea of what those possibilities might be for that night let's go back to that scenario where you have the hot tub it's late night finger food you know all this stuff nude hot whatever all that you set the stage um i think people should be aware or talk about maybe the possibilities what do you think tris not necessarily expectations but you and I will probably have like a conversation of well what if this happened what if you know she comes and slides over to me and starts rubbing on my leg are we good there can that can we go further at that point right we have that conversation so that's going into organic play at that point right that's what i'm saying i think the word possibilities kind of uh i'm trying to you know find that middle ground okay and i think the middle ground is like exploring the possibilities of what will happen so you're not necessarily planning okay and you're not necessarily saying like you're whatever happens happens correct you're kind of open to the ideas of what might happen what do you think i think that that's fine that's the grade so for you tris is planning a turnoff no not all the time okay right because again like back to another earlier scenario like when we was talking about like if you got if you're in that hamster wheel and you're trying to figure out what's the next move to spice this thing up, maybe you have to have a conversation of planning.
That's my perspective of it. You don't think that. Or at least you said you didn't agree with that earlier. No, I don't agree with that.
I don't agree that we need to plan like a different type of play session, I guess, and do different things i mean i think that you can do that but i don't know i just feel like there's other things that should have been discussed before we got to the hamster wheel but this is me that's just me that's fair but i mean before we got to the hamster wheel is kind of a moot point because if you're in the hamster where you're in it now how do you get out of it and i think that only comes with a measure of conversation you have to talk you got to talk you got to use your words or you know or nothing's going to change you're just going to be sitting there or you're going to be uh ignoring them and you're going to start ghosting people and that's just not going to be nice it's not yes you're absolutely right because then you're going to start ghosting because you're just like i'm tired i'm bored and i'm bored of the same thing right so if you yes genuinely care about the people you like them whatever you know you change your shit up i agree with that let's do this thing hey y'all let's go to the fucking um i don't know let's take a trip somewhere but that's what i'm saying like when i'm saying not plan anything i'm saying not plan to actually play right let's just go somewhere that part can be about the planning doing something different but let's not plan to have sex you know what i'm saying like just say okay so we just know we're gonna have sex afterwards or something like that.
Like, that's what I mean. When you take some of that needs to be like a step back. So if you are like on this hamster wheel, I just want to go back to that on this hamster wheel. Right. The planning part could be doing other stuff, but not playing in the same type of sequence that you're doing before.
So meaning if we even go to a different hotel, don't just be we're gonna go to this hotel and then we just want to smash again right because that just puts us back in the same hamster wheel just in a different location that's what i'm saying but what i want to do is kind of like see what can happen or gain when we're just saying hey we're only going to go out and do x y and z and then see what happens and and see what happens and who knows we may go to a bar after that because we're just having a good time and then the vibe or whatever and didn't end up playing but that's not what was on the expectation of table okay okay cool does that make sense it does it does you're more uh that just goes to your whole thing about a vibe well see yes i am an energy vibe person and i don't know if that's great for people in lifestyle but yeah i mean i like the vibe it's you it's who you are it's what you like and that's fine there's no judgment on that if that's what you need to get your um get your gears going then that's what you need you know yes i'm a social swinger yeah all emphasis on social so like you just like like being social and then the swinging may or may not happen and that's fine yeah that's fine that's perfectly fine uh so let's see we put up hot dates uh-oh lost it i'm sorry that's okay you didn't do that okay yeah we put up hot dates that says no expectations no pressure if something happens then it happens but we have to have that discussion first definitely understand that.
Someone else says consent and talking about ideas and about ideas and such can be so sexy. I 100 percent agree with that. Let's see. Mr. Dependable says, I agree that talk is hot. Yep. And Duchess chimes in, says somebody has to take the leap for sure. Thank you. Somebody got to do it. Duchess, is that you? Do you take the leap? I want to know. Let us know. Someone else says, that would be hot if he asked and you consented. If someone asked you, I guess, and you consented. Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah, that would be hot.
Somebody might need to just go ahead and ask her you know what i'm saying and uh yeah we see what happens uh someone else says the best time we had was when we met a couple at the club we went out for drinks and then we went uh yep then we met up with them at the club again as an icebreaker to dance and drink. And we went to their house after. Exactly. And that's the kind of thing that we used to do. A lot. A lot of dancing, a lot of dancing, a lot of drinking used to be involved in our play.
You know, we would hang out and party, hit the club and then all sorts of switching and swapping on the dance floor. And, you know, people not knowing who's with who and everybody kissing everybody and shit just look crazy out in the regular vanilla public and then we just we're all jazzed up and all horned up and we go back to the hotel and that makes for some uh explosive sex yes um so when that kind of stuff goes away it's kind of like and and it turns into like uh okay meet you at the hotel let's get the fucking that's not That's not going to work for Tris. Nope.
I mean, it might work for me. Yeah. I might be here for it, but still. I said that with a hard no. Yeah, you did. And that's fine. And that's fair. And because I do want you to be turned on, you know, I want you to have a great time. I want you to be your sexy self. I want you to feel empowered.
And, you know, I want the experiences to be enjoyable for you you know so sweet talker says that so is trish gonna jump off and kiss someone maybe it depends on the boo have i ever come kiss somebody let's see i think the closest was maybe the really really early on when we went to trapeze and you and that girl was bumping booties like y'all was fighting oh yes i forgot about that y'all yes and and that was that completely happened out of nowhere we were like brand spanking new yeah we were brand new i don't even remember if we had a conversation oh no no yeah that was that was i think that was the only time yeah i don't think you would just haul off and kiss someone now on the other side of that i think someone may ask you to kiss yes i've seen that happen i've seen people yeah yeah yes you have Ha but you know i don't know if that's you i'm not i'm not putting you in the box.
I'm asking, I'm trying to remember. No, you're, you're absolutely not. I mean, you, you remember more than I did. So, all right. So another question says now the question I would ask is how do you get from the vibes to the verbal consent? So that's Trist.
That's a good question because like, I'm like, if feeling the vibe um i will have a conversation with you with me and ask you you know how are you feeling and if you say that you're feeling it then you know i kind of give you the the thumbs up the thumbs up to go what go do you think okay go do it exactly go it's more like is you'll be like so you're gonna ask him are we so are you gonna ask him it's not always so you gonna tell him that we like him are you gonna do it are you gonna tell like i'm like all right babe yes i got it don't worry you just sit back right i got the magic happen i got it it's probably how it happens a lot of the time not all of the time but some of the time majority of the time yeah yep or you know if i'm asking if i ask you and you say i don't care go ahead yeah it's fine it's cool it's fine it's fine i gotta make sure i get that it's fine or i'm good yeah at least three times like you sure you know that when i say that if i you know that if i'm attracted to a guy because what i say babe i don't know what he he he was real oh he was so cool i mean he is like a real cool dude i'm like oh he can get them draws i know what that means i don't know why that like but every time he catches it he's absolutely right i say this one line when i find a guy hot and i've been talking to and i would tell him he was real cool like he was for real like a real cool dude man nah for real man i was really feeling his vibe right he was he just laughs he's like he's so full of he's just like oh yeah she wants that she want him and then i'll ask did you get his number No.
God. Killing me. Killing me. We're going to break her out, sweet talkers. We're going to get Tris to feel that empowerment. Duchess, maybe she needs to have like a one-on-one lesson with you. You know what I'm saying? Teach her how to embrace her dom self. I do just fine in three ways. You do. You do. Just fine.
You need to do it on your own like get that shit be dominant let these folks know what it is what you want that'd be hot as hell i'm good all right so sweet talker says that i uh i agree that has always been me i always had to speak up yeah another one says i'm a vibing energy person too but how long are we vibing until we smash because going home going home and regretting you didn't play because no one spoke up yeah because that that has happened to us in the past but i think i've gotten better at that you have you have and and again back to our last episode episode 51 it kind of even evolved or changed to the point of like instead of both of us going home with regrets you just say you know what you go and do your thing yeah go ahead have the experience i don't want it right now you know yes so that's another little alternative for us and you know maybe some other sweet talkers out there might um find themselves in that same kind of situation one day where you know you're with your partner and your partner wants to do a thing and you don't want to do a thing and and they say you know what go for it go ahead i don't want to stop you I don't want to hold you back and that was brand new territory for us yep let's see Dutchie says that I love it it's so sexy love my husband to take charge in a foursome oh there you go yeah there you go do you like it when I take charge in a foursome or is it like shut up lock sometimes you can be a little bit too for trying to like you know talk through the stuff but most of the time you're pretty good about it i like to be clear you do but most of the time you're you do a good job you do a good job facilitating mr facilitator and someone else asked Do y'all feel that when you go out of town, you have to act fast on a couple?
Yes.
facilitator and someone else asked do y'all feel that when you go out of town you have to act fast on a couple yes i'll answer that one yeah like when we're at a resort what do you think tris at a resort yes because the clock is ticking but that doesn't mean also that you have to smash someone because you're attracted to them at the at the trips on the resort but we have yeah i mean because you are on a clock i think most people kind of feel that way like you're kind of on a clock but i don't have that type of pressure mostly when i go on vacation lock does here you go come on but hey i just don't stop all right so first things first let me be clear no there you there is no have to in this at all there's no have to you don't have to have sex with anybody right but yes when we're on vacation we're looking around and i'm going to say we and i don't mean the royal we i mean me and you we we mofo yeah so stop trying to throw me under the bus we be looking and trying to figure out what it is it's not saying hey we're going to smash them but we're moving around and shaking and seeing who might be good candidates to have sex with right we're checking out to see who the candidates are and then we figure it out from there um without any kind of like pressure i'm not like chasing down people because i know how you are if i went and go talk to them you'd grab me up and pull me away but no um yeah we are we're definitely scoping out the scene and figuring out who might be a potential um from day one and then you know just kind of play it from there no expectations if something happens it happens if we end up at dinner we end up at dinner um you know we kind of go we kind of live by that really right so sweet talker says have you have to feel pressure but if there is a couple and you don't have time to make it organic y'all know the couple disappear in an instant they will but for Trish that's kind of like well for me it's like shit yes it is actually yeah he's absolutely right but I mean but yeah I mean you've chased down some not chased him down I mean I know, I don't chase nobody.
No, you have closed the deal a time or two in the last seconds of the game. I have the day before people were leaving. You like to wait to the absolute last minute to throw on your little charm. It wasn't my fault. Killing me. But yeah, I mean, so it's all a learning game and we're all trying to have fun.
Even tris bust my balls about putting a condom in my pocket yes because i feel like you you're trying to like say oh i'm going to smash tonight how do you know that okay so i'm gonna i'm gonna pull that to a conversation that we've had with a few of our friends the past couple uh maybe about a week ago we were sitting around and we were kind of talking about this very topic because we wanted to get ready for this and wanted to hear their ideas and one of our friends put it so simply right it just made it so simple when it comes to their swinger bag he said that i keep the swinger bag with me pretty much at all times in case something organic does happen so that goes to my point with a condom in my pocket you just keep it in case something organic does happen i'm not saying that i'm making something happen she sees that shit as like a symbol of i'm trying right i'm fucking that's not the case i'm just keeping it there just in case because what is it what do they say you better stay ready so you don't have to get ready that and I'd rather have it and not need it than to need it and not have it you know what I mean so you got to keep one in your pot you got to just stay ready because you never know what's gonna happen but you see it as pressure you feel pressure if I put a condom in my pocket but you still do it you just don't let me see you do it and that's a damn shame because i just we should just be on the same page of like i'm just your balls as much anymore but yes in the past i used to think that you just automatically assume that you're going to be smashing yes no see uh someone else says you don't she meant to say don't.
You don't have to feel pressure. Oh, gotcha. For sure. And Dutchess says, yep. And then Mrs. Dependable says, I keep my swinger bag with me at all times. For sure. That's right. And then Dutchess says, stay ready. And we're going to end it on that note. Oh, nope. We got somebody else in before we end it. They said, we are the same. I'm going to keep the name blank. We are the same. Blank is easy going. Whatever happens, happens. And he is the one who counts missed opportunities. That's you. It is. That's us. God damn it. That's you.
And you would keep it for years and talk about it i remember that time so yeah i mean that's it though the moral of the story is stay ready i guess you know and things can happen organically they can and you were a big no it can that's not the case but i just you know, being prepared is still a level, kind of shakes up that organic idea. But I think that based on the conversation we've had, based on this conversation tonight, being ready does not take away from being organic. Thank you. Right. Yes. That's it.
That's all I needed was that little part of victory in this conversation because we always debate this. That's fine. I just want everybody to go ahead and hit rewind to the beginning of this conversation where Trish was just tripping all over herself. She takes both sides of this argument, by the way. So, yeah, y'all just have fun calling her out on her contradictions. That's totally fine. I'm okay with that. Like, I've had this conversation multiple times. So, I'm okay with being called out on any parts of it. That's right. And I still love you. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a blast.
Make sure y'all click the links in our link tree and take a look at PCAP Encore, November 5th to the 8th in Dallas, Texas. Also guys, we wanted to, we should have have said this at the beginning let us know any type of discussion ideas that you want us to discuss for like the panel for pcat that's right because we're still formulating ideas but if there's anything that you want to kind of bring up to say hey i'd like to see this in a seminar for somebody to talk about please let us know Send us a message on IG or any of our social media. For sure. Yeah.
Hit us up, especially if you're going to be in the building. So then it'd be kind of cool that we're talking about your topic and you're there and you can help us with it or whatever. It'd be kind of cool. So yes, definitely hit us up, email us, DM us on Twitter, IG, whatever. Let's talk about it. Let's come up with some cool little plans. What do you want to hear Locke and Trist go in on out there in PCAP? So, yeah. No, it's cool. I'm glad you brought that back up, Trist. So, without further ado, y'all, thank y'all very much.
We really appreciate all the sweet talkers chiming in, all of our regulars, all of our newbies. This is always, always a good time. We really appreciate y'all, man. This is like, this is y'all show. We just, we just put the microphones in front of our faces. That's all. Yeah. We'll do the dirty work. Right. So thanks again, y'all. We'll talk to you next time. All right, guys, stay safe. Bye.
Again, we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life life with us to everyone who couldn't join us live in the suite check out our podcast on itunes stitcher spotify google play and iheart radio be sure to subscribe rate and review feel free to email us at living the sweet life podcast at gmail.com you can also follow us on instagram at the sweet life podcast and on twitter at sweet life pod don't forget to subscribe to us on our youtube channel at living the sweet life podcast so that you can be a sweet talker the next time so do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests until next time keep living the sweet life.
