In this episode, we talk about one of the least popular lifestyle topics - cheating. Yuck! Have you known anyone who feels entitled to take certain liberties because they enjoy the freedom of the lifestyle? It can get a little murky if your rules aren’t clearly defined.Take listen and find out what the Suite-Talkers had to say!As always, thanks so much for listening!Enjoy!Check out AltPlayGround for an awesome lifestyle experience! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, REVIEW! We appreciate any and all feedback!How to stay in-touch with us:Email: [email protected] us here for info on upcoming LIVE episodes:Instagram: @thesuitelifepodcastTwitter: @suitelifepodFacebook: Livin the Suite Life (Tryst Loq Suitelife)Don t forget to SUBSCRIBE to the Livin the Suite Life Podcast YouTube Channel!
Transcript
Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle from newbies to longtime swingers. Or if you're just curious, we hope to engage you all and to encourage a sex positive discussion.
Now that we've got that out of the way, make yourself comfortable and join us in living the sweet life. Hello and welcome to episode 29 of living the sweet life she is my beautiful sexy co-host and wife the lovely trist and he's my wonderful sexy chocolate husband lock and this episode is being brought to you guys by our partners at altplayground.net guys if you haven't checked it out please visit altplayground.net they're taking the traditional dating online to new Thank you.
brought to you guys by our partners at altplayground.net guys if you haven't checked it out please visit altplayground.net they're taking the traditional dating online to new levels by implementing new modules and making it super user-friendly i'm telling you right it's like every week it seems like the people that all playground.net are adding something new to help you meet cool people find parties and just learn about learn about the lifestyle. Like, you got all these podcasters on there. You got all the podcast corners so you can check out our stuff and plenty of our partners over there.
You also got forums where you can participate in any kind of discussion that you could think of. I think I saw cool ones on toys, on sex toys and parties, all sorts of things you could talk about.
got your communities don't forget you can check out ours you can be a sweet talker on apg so check us out over there so you can interact with other like-minded people and don't forget they got the fun fun big wall and today's theme on the big wall is hashtag selfie so if you click on the the big wall you'll be able to see all sorts of sexy pictures sexy selfies that people have been posting um all day long and i don't know what the theme for tomorrow is do you know what it is for tomorrow trist no no but um hey i know i'm gonna log in tomorrow to check it out yeah that's right that's right so ladies and gentlemen make sure you go and check out altplayground.net.
It's super awesome. I'm telling you, it's a lot of fun. A lot of fun. All right. So let's knock out a little bit of housekeeping, folks. Like I said, you can always email us at the SuiteLifePodcast at gmail.com.
You can follow us on Instagram at the SuiteLifePod podcast and follow us on twitter at sweet life pod uh and let's see what else we got yeah man you can follow us on uh check us out on facebook if you're so inclined to do so at trist lock sweet life and for the beautiful sweet talkers who couldn't join us live in the suite tonight always check out the podcast you feel free to jump over to any podcast catcher and we will be there and while you're there make sure you subscribe rate and review we always need those man we need the the love we need we appreciate everybody jumping in but we definitely need somebody to let others know how dope you think we are and we appreciate that we certainly do we certainly do that's right and subscribe to the youtube channel too man so uh so you can always know when we're going live so check us out there so like i said man um tonight we're gonna be having it we're gonna have a nice wonderful episode on uh on cheating oh it's a touchy subject it's gonna be talking about the blurred lines between like having a good lifestyle uh adventure with your partner and you know maybe crossing some of those boundaries but before we get into that i know i gotta check in with my baby beautiful how you feeling tonight okay so guys i have a confession i think i'm getting a little bit comfortable with talking about things in front of our teenage, well, what do we call her now?
She's not a teenager, she's an adult. She is, she's not 20. Well, she's not 20. She's still a teen. So she's a teenager. That's right.
So we were on a family trip at the beach, and I ended up saying like, oh, this is great that we finally got outside and we went to the beach as a family but i would like to go to have some adult time at the adult beach yep you sure did you use the word adult and i used it distinctly said adult beach and just kept it going like as if it was nothing and our teenager turns around says you're gonna go to a new beach you i'm like how do you even know what i'm talking about all i could say was no you got stuck i got stuck i was trying to figure out how to backpedal guys back myself out of the conversation and i look her dead in her eye the teen i look her right in her eye and say tan lines are for suckers he did he said tan lines are for suckers that was his reply at that point it's like fuck it the cat's out of the bag man we're adults you know tris blew it yeah and then my reply was i'm grown yeah that's all you got that's all i had that's all i had i had to come back it was like well i'm grown then yeah you so you've been getting a little loose with the lips lately you you kind of fucked up last night too i did not really it was more just like a fantasy type of thing what happened you was talking about some guy we was talking about some actor um uh michael ealy yes i forgot why we was bringing it up but anyway i was looking at his picture on google and i said oh he's older than we are but i'll still hit it right in front of our team she was like mom you know mom gross yeah yeah i mean hey mama gotta get dick too i'm getting a little bit a little bit loose with the lips yeah that's all right though it's okay to be you know i feel like it's okay to have like adult conversations with her not necessarily telling her who you know who you bang but yes you know just having like that sexual kind of freedom uh per se we don't want her to feel like you know we're we're weirdos or like we're like super ultra conservative she already knows that we're not uh she's probably like a lot more conservative than us but i want her to feel comfortable in her sexuality too yes and in her sexual freedom like to have that kind of empowerment about her decision making when it comes to guys or women or whatever she's going to be into whenever she decides to have fun i guess yeah so hopefully it never comes oh come on how are you going to sit here in front of this microphone in front of these people and say that that's's my baby.
So, Locke, how are you feeling? Me? I'm feeling inspired, man. Listen, we have a wonderful group of like sweet talkers. We have a wonderful group of friends who are sweet talkers, lifestyle people. Right. And they can be very inspirational.
Right um tonight i'm talking about a married couple that we've known for shit seven eight years as long as we've been in a lifestyle really um who uh just like everybody else is going through you know their own sets of trials and tribulations and you know it's tough times out here with the covid and you know people you know family health issues and stuff like that right um and this particular couple uh they did something very awesome um i thought it was very cool so the wife has been going through um she's been hit pretty hard by covid not not health wise but like circumstance wise it affects like her job and all that stuff so she's been going through a lot of stress she's been going through a lot of stress with her family situation but the husband has remained uh like strong you know he remained you know pushing her through helping her taking care of the family, pushing and never complaining, never complaining.
Just just working hard and taking care of everything you got to take care of, staying funny, staying positive and just being that that rock for her. So what she did was and this guy loves to roller skate. Yes. Loves to roller skate. I mean, you should see him.
He's like ass uh incredible hulk type figure on skates but like as graceful as a damn gazelle like it's a beautiful thing to watch and to see how happy he is doing it but anyway so what she did was she surprised him on like a random tuesday thursday with the entire rink just for him, just for him, just just so he could go out and be a big kid and enjoy himself and, you know, no cares in the world. I guess it's kind of like her appreciation for everything that he's been doing, being that the guy and, you know, that person in the family that has been helping her through everything.
and it was awesome to see her do that kind of thing for him you see what i'm saying um again this is a beautiful couple that we respect and admire um and to see her do that was really inspiring and i and i i made it a point to put this in my how you feeling because so often in society society we are really quick to judge bad couples right we everybody got an opinion on a bad couple when couples like start fucking up no he didn't he should do this or she should do that and do this and you know you always got the prescription for somebody for a couple when they're fucking up right but very seldom do we take them take a minute to acknowledge a couple that's doing something great you know what i'm saying that's doing something great that we can learn from that you could take something back from and say damn how can i do something like that you know what i'm saying or uh how did they even get to that point of like just that vulnerability of saying you know what i'm gonna risk it i'm gonna do whatever it takes to make this other person happy i just think they deserve a moment so i hope you guys are listening um again we respect you guys we love you guys we admire that and and i just you know i i really took that to heart it was just like a beautiful beautiful sentiment it was yeah it was pretty dope yeah um hey what's up sweet talkers gotta acknowledge you guys thanks for jumping in there um one of our sweet talkers was commenting on trysts uh how you feeling said let let them learn the world from you yeah all right right and someone else says uh good for her this was awesome yeah yeah talking about mine but okay so yeah that's how i'm feeling uh so hey everybody we see folks waving uh saying hello all right so beautiful you ready to get into tonight's episode let's do it let's go all right ladies and gentlemen again thanks for joining us in episode 29 of living a sweet life yeah tonight man whoo we're gonna have some fun yes we're gonna try to have some fun right this is a tough subject it is it's kind of murky waters uh it kind of piggybacks or tail doves off of our last episode where we partly talked about the will jada hold that all that nonsense uh so we're gonna try to tie it in a little bit but yeah break away some yes so trish you want to get tonight started, guys, tonight we're going to talk about the subject of cheating.
So let's just let's be honest. You know, why do people cheat? yeah what do you think why do people cheat in the first place so people cheat because or a person can cheat because they are not getting a certain desire from their primary partner. Right. So it's just basic defining of cheating. Yeah. It's like you're just breaking them rules, man. Yeah. You're in a relationship, whatever that's defined as for you. Yes. And then you decide, you know what? I need a little something on the side. Yes. Whatever that could be. I mean, so, I don't know.
Maybe I'm getting ahead here, but is cheating strictly just sex? No. Okay. What we got next? What are you saying? Yeah. So, guys, I guess my question to our sweet talkers is, can you be a cheater in L.S.? Right. Can you be a swinging cheater? Like, hmm. And let's just not say in L.S., right? However you define yourself. So let's say if you're saying that you're a swinger, open relationship, or you're even into poly, right?
Can you still be a cheater right i think those all kind of fall under that umbrella so let's hang out in our in our space of uh the lifestyle yes the swinger space polyamory whatever all of that underneath this big old umbrella so let's hang out there so can you be a swing uh yeah a swinger and be a cheater so i think that when we're talking about enjoying the lifestyle or we're talking about swinging and all that stuff uh what are we talking about here we're talking about uh basically like an agreement between partners uh to open up your relationship right however many partners that is um you're talking about like another aspect of this whole swinging lifestyle thing is meeting new people yes right so you're opening the doors you're opening up the doors to meeting new people meeting new personalities being the possibility of like being swept off your feet at least that's what people fear anyway that's one of like the main fears that people have when it comes to like the lifestyle and then obviously we're talking about fucking right we're talking about having sex with other people so can people in uh yeah right so we're talking about um having sex so that that opens up the door what do you think uh what do you think sweet talkers and what do you think tris like when it comes to like opening up your relationship in that way does that that make you more susceptible to cheating?
Does that make you more vulnerable, you think? When you open up the door to meeting new people, do you open the door to the possibility of romance being, sweeping you off your feet? I don't think that you open the door to that i think that it's more so it's more so of people just taking advantage of the situation it's not that you open the door to those like elements to just come in freely right no um because that's what you have rules for right um i think that when you cross the boundaries of the rules that's what you have rules for, right?
I think that when you cross the boundaries of the rules, that's when you start having other things come in. So let's see. One of the sweet talkers says that, yes, if you break a rule, basically where I was going with that, that if you break a rule, yes, you can be a cheater if you break a rule.
If you play together as a couple and someone goes outside the rules, that cheating yep bingo yeah what else we got another sweet talker says that absolutely cheating is a portrayal of trust and it definitely happens yep and another sweet talker uh says before a couple enters the lifestyle you should have trust and be in a good place in your relationship so let's elaborate on that right yeah because you could be let's say that you are in a good place when you first start the lifestyle right and I think this is also piggybacks off of what Locke is saying um when you get into the lifestyle and you start having these other experiences you then open up Pandora's box right for yourself no idea at the time, like, you may have these hidden feelings about other things that may have made a mirror to your relationship to say, hey, this is what I'm missing.
And this is what's not in my relationship. But now I've had this fulfilled in the lifestyle. I want more of that thing. Okay. So your relationship could have been solid before going into the lifestyle and then you realize once you got into the lifestyle hey it could have been you could think it was right you think it is so i mean i think that what the sweet talker is saying and please chime in again if uh if if either one of us are wrong what i think they is that, you know, you have those you're supposed to have those pregame discussions like your relationship foundation should be solid.
You should have you should be going into the lifestyle with, I guess you can call it just the right intentions, because some people could use it as a means of satisfying those things in their head. they could say you know you know trista's just not fucking me like you know what i mean like as regularly as i want but if she if we open up our relationship then maybe i could you know uh parlay that into something uh another woman i can i'm i'm fulfilling these fantasies that i have that don't involve my wife you see what I'm saying? Yeah.
And I think that could definitely be like a bomb to your relationship. And I think, again, what the sweet talker was saying is that you're supposed to iron all that shit out before you go in. Absolutely. But what you're saying is that, again, correct me. You can start that way. You can start that way, but then you just start thinking that the grass is greener? Yes.
On the other other side like we've seen it happen with some couples that we like know in the lifestyle who um you know they're not married anymore because you know they they got caught up uh once they were already in the lifestyle so their relationship was solid before and then you know as they went on in the lifestyle to turn into something different and someone broke the rule yeah right yep so swinging does not i think we all agree that swinging does not eliminate cheating no it's not a free pass because you have this element of your relationship where you're essentially opening it up to other people but it's not a free pass for You just do whatever you want, anytime you want, with whomever you want.
So is this, is swinging a cure for a cheater? No, I don't think so at all. Right. I just think it may turn them into more of a serial cheater, but I don't think it's not a cure for your relationship. If you're a cheater prior to, you're still going to be a cheater afterwards. It's not going to fix that part. But it also is not going to eliminate the fact that you can become a cheater in the lifestyle. Because, yeah, now you have access to, it's like having a backstage pass, right?
You kind of have a backstage pass to all of this, you know, fantasies that you can fulfill um that you and your partner can do all of these extracurricular activities but still you can cheat yeah um okay we're gonna get there we're gonna we're gonna go down that road so to answer that question right let's answer that first question can you be a cheater in the lifestyle the answer we think yes yes right we think yes now how how does that happen um again we we're talking about a world of um of hedonistic um ideals right like you get to enjoy um other people you get to enjoy going out on dates um all that newness that you felt you started dating your partner you get to feel that like every week or every weekend or whenever you're starting to meet new people you get to go out and get all gussied up and smelling all good and you get you start feeling really good and you uh and other partners or other people start telling you oh my god you look great you know you look like you've been working out and you look so sexy and that shit can like uh really affect you if you haven't been hearing that at home yes right and you can start getting kind of like addicted to that to that feeling to that rush it's like that high uh-huh right you get addicted to the high of it and especially if you're missing that in your relationship right right we're gonna get to that too i think you got a couple of good bullets on that uh that we're getting up to so again how so we're talking about breaking the established rules We'll be right back.
your relationship right right we'll get to that too i think you got a couple of good bullets on that uh that we're getting up to so again how so we're talking about breaking the established rules so like what if um so what rule honey i wanted to ask you this what rule if broken would be considered cheating for me and you and i got a caveat this too bomber and bell uh i hope you guys are listening man we uh we checked out your last podcast and it was hilarious y'all gotta check them out bomber and bell for um um black and kinky damn it yes black and kinky lifestyle man they had a good little part what they were saying um i think bomber said something about uh if bell cooked a steak yeah for another guy that would be considered like a betrayal like of like intimacy, because it's something that she really puts her heart and soul into.
And he feels that in those meals. But if she did that for somebody else, it's kind of like, oh, my God, my heart. You know what I mean? Yes. So what do you think, babe? So for me, it would be a sense of being dishonest. okay like it would like a clear example with that would be that if you started sending text messages in nude pictures back and forth with someone, even if we already have an established relationship with them, like I don't care if we've had sex with them.
But if I don't know about those messages that are going back and forth and I happen to stumble upon the messages or someone tells me about the messages that is cheating that's a form of cheating right because you're hiding something at that point yeah yeah i think that's the key right that's the key there that it's something that you had to discover that's that bullshit if i had to find it oh you know and by accident or whatever it is if i find it and i didn't know about it then that's the problem absolutely yeah i mean and we we played around with this um this scenario when we were getting ready for the show like and and we were saying I asked you is it um is it that way like if I was sending uh pictures back and forth without like your your permission like to the guy in a relationship right to the guy and he and I are sharing pictures like of what's going on with our ladies like showing like our ladies in provocative positions um or whatever is that something that's like a line of betrayal and you told me no no right and i agree i agree i was just um trying to see what you want to say there because i mean i feel like that's just like but if i was to send those same pictures of us in provocative situations to the woman in the relationship that's that's the deal breaker that can be cheating if i don't know that you guys are talking on the side yes that's that's a rule breaker what if it's pictures of you i don't care oh like i want to know that you are talking to someone i don't need to know the conversation like i'm not that controlling i don't need to know blow from blow i sent a text message to so and so and it said this and that and it was at such and such time like i don't care about that part but if it's like kept in secret and i don't know about the conversation on the side happening at all then that's a problem i agree i agree and i put the shoe on my you know i put the shoe on the other foot like if it was you sending pictures to a dude um of you without me um i'd be checking my phone to see if my message did not come through like why am i it's like where am i what happened my phone broke what's going on here like why am i not getting these some of the sweet talkers are saying that before a couple enters the lifestyle you should have a trust you should have trust and be in a good place in the relationship we said that one someone says the cheating comes from dishonesty absolutely yes uh go ahead and your partner meeting someone without your knowledge can be considered cheating well we was gonna get to that one too yeah that was a good one yes okay so we have a no kissing rule i've heard of couples that have that actually um we have a no kissing rule and to find out he kissed somebody would be considered cheating and dishonesty dishonesty and sending new pics without my knowledge yes that's deep like the the no kissing rule um i think i think that as long as there is a rule right no matter what the rule is yep um if there's a rule that you know you don't want to see some woman like rubbing my head on my shoulders you know while we're fucking it's kind of tough to abide by that but if that's your sensitive spot like that's that's the intimate spot for you to be touching on me and somebody does that yes that's the rule breaker see and this is just goes back to my point like cheating is not about all the time having intercourse right yeah it's it's about just uh that intimacy right um i think we yeah okay cool let's keep let's keep the train moving all right and one of sweet talkers sorry just chimed in and says that we have a no anal rule and i only play submissive to my husband nice oh nice so if your husband uh found out that you were subbing for somebody else, that would be like that would break all the rules on.
Like, is that like a deal breaker for him? Someone else says emotional cheating. Yep. Yes. So so online and we started chatting. I need to know. That's right. Someone said that. Yes. Like, hey, I and I so and so online.
I saw so-and-so online today and we started chatting i need to know that's right someone said that yes like hey i and i so and so online i saw so and so online today and we started chatting um i need to know about that right right so it's like if uh shameless plug for apg like if i'm on apg and i meet a um i hit i hit up a nice little couple or something like that and a couple starts of stars, you know, pinging back and forth, uh, or, you know, that's something that Trish definitely needs to know about like ASAP, you know what I mean?
And the longer I keep that, the nastier that conversation is going to be like, you've been chatting for how long? Yes. Yeah. That'd be bad. So it's always best to like, somebody said communication is always key. It all comes back to communication. But, yeah, it does. It always comes back to, like, having those discussions. And I don't think they have to be hard. Uh-uh. Right? But sometimes they are hard, right? We talked about that in the last episode. Like, communication can be hard, like, depending on what you're talking about with your partner.
Like, if you're saying one partner is asexual asexual for example right they don't really like having sex or at all but the other partner is like i want to have sex how do you have that discussion like it's hard some conversations can be hard or say i like to be spanked but you don't like to spank me but so-and-so likes to spank me like that it could be a hard conversation to have yeah so it's all in perspective as far as what you think is hard or not it may be easy for us but it's not easy for other people to have very true that's very true yeah i mean that if you get in the long lines of that uh that whole spanking and dominant thing that could start messing with somebody's ego yep you know what i'm saying like you're saying i'm not mad enough to smack that ass right that i'm not hitting it right and it could start a whole different type of conversation or you could say or it can turn into a jealousy thing where the other person's like well you said that so and so when you had sex with them they hit you or the right spot but i can't so it can turn into something nasty that it doesn't have to be and put in and then insert that insecurity into your partner.
Yep. Right. Yep. And that brings me back to my other point is that why do people cheat in the lifestyle? Right. So when you think of the lifestyle for me, right, we had this conversation a few different times and it always comes back to me for me that the lifestyle like she and I had, we're enjoying a lot of awesome shit. Right. We get to go and be naked places. We get to go party and hang out on nude beaches and all this shit and have sex with people and beautiful people. Right.
naked places we get to go um party and hang out on nude beaches and all this shit and have sex with people and beautiful beautiful people right anything more than that any anything that i'm doing to try to get extra on that is just plain selfish to me and i feel like anybody who's like enjoying that kind of lifestyle freedom you have that freedom have that, you're enjoying that life with your partner, but you're still going out and tiptoeing because you feel like you're entitled now, just plain selfish. Yes, and he's said this for years. Like, he's been saying that for years.
I mean, that's just my opinion because I feel like, you know, at the end of the day, all you really got to do is just be patient all you got to do is just be patient you know be patient with your partner hang out you know and and play about the rules and you're going to have sex with other people you're going to be able to enjoy those cool things and you know but to trish's point it ain't always about sex so what is it baby? We talked about like some of those reasons there. Yeah, some of the reasons could be emotional needs, like one of our sweet talkers mentioned earlier, right?
It can be emotional needs and that can lead to cheating or it can be attention, that they're not getting that type of attention from their partner, but they're getting the attention from other people in the lifestyle um that they're being told that they're attractive right the other person can like now put on their cape and feel like they're superman and feel like all these people think i'm attractive but my wife doesn't think i'm that attractive or girlfriend doesn't think i'm that attractive Yeah. So it be that. It's like chasing that thing in the lifestyle can become cheating, actually.
Yeah. Like, when you go to lifestyle events, man, everybody's all dolled up most of the time, right? I've heard people say, like, in certain areas, some people, like, you know, she'll be dressed up, but he's not. And so you get that kind of kind of like dynamic going on in certain clubs. She's hot, he's not. Not even that, but it's just like, you know, just the appearance, just the way that they're dressed. You know, the women usually doll themselves up a lot. But let's just say, you know, across the board, everybody's dolled up. Let's just say that for this hypothetical here.
Everybody's all dolled up usually.
So you go to a party and you're hanging out and everybody's like complimenting you or telling you you look great you look great you get kind of addicted to that and in a lifestyle you can you can even build up this um this this persona right like a you can be a character like yes you feel great about yourself you're making all these new friends and people telling you you're sexy all the time so now you have this overly inflated kind of like feeling of yourself that you feel like hey man you know i'm not that bad like you kind of maybe and and maybe outstep your your boundaries there because you feel a little entitled um to that kind of treatment you feel like these people tell me I'm sexy.
So maybe the, the, you know, let me go talk to the coworker, my coworker and my coworker might tell me I'm looking good today too. So I can, you know, maybe reach out to this, this vanilla cross that line, man. They'll learn those lines get real blurry. Um, based on like that euphoria that you starting to feel, huh? Yes, absolutely. You want to catch up? Yes. So let's go back to our sweet talkers. It says that those conversations, convos are hard, but they happen. They need to happen. It could be worse once the action takes place. That's right. It could always get worse. Yeah.
If, you know, let's just take that one real quick, like for what you were saying. Would I rather have a hard discussion about, you know, spanking you? Or would I rather find pictures of you being spanked by someone else? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, the choice is clear. Right. Exactly. I'd rather have the hard discussion. It looks like another sweet talker are replying back to me. I agree, but at what point do grown people start communicating like grown people? Facts. And it seems so frustrating that God gave us this ability to communicate, but we don't actively put it into work. Facts.
I mean, yeah, we have the ability to to communicate but coming with that also comes fear yes insecurity um all your like emotional baggage that comes that can get unpacked in having those conversations you know you can you it's easy to be a robot and just say things but when you consider how the how that shit might make somebody feel it makes you kind of like start massaging the way you're going to say things the way you're going to deliver and again fear plays a major major part in lying yeah uh your your fear of consequences your fear of uh you know how many times have we heard this i was afraid to hurt your feelings you, right.
I was scared. I was scared that you were going to leave me if I said what I said. Right, right. So it's tough, but like you guys are saying, it has to happen. It's tough. It's hard. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, you're fine. Another sweet talker says that there has to be some underlying issues within that relationship, insecurities, and lack of emotional needs. Bingo. Right. And those things are uncovered in the lifestyle, unfortunately. Like, if you have those little fractions. It's going to be exposed. In your relationship, it will be exposed, like, in the lifestyle, right?
Because you just, it's like you have all these things that you're accessible yeah you know it definitely uh the lifestyle will put a magnifying glass over your relationship yeah you know what i'm saying you'll be able to really see what you got you can really see what you got especially when some um some sexy opposite comes up or you know some guy or even woman come flirting with tris it's gonna really you know show what know, show what I got, you know, show how I feel, you know? And then maybe also people, I don't know, you know, I don't even think we have a rule like this.
Do you guys have rules regarding emotional boundaries? How do you, I don't think we have one. Like we don't have, like, we've never talked about that. How do you do that?
How do you you put up an emotional boundary i think that's where one of our what what is trying to be prevented um in our sweet talkers relationship where they say no kissing that's something that's between them you know what i'm saying the kissing is an emotional thing yeah that i believe that what they're trying to prevent is what you're talking about yeah you see what i'm saying the emotional attachment emotional connection that intimacy that's something really personal and i don't want to share that with anybody else you see yeah at least that's what that's how i interpret that yeah um notice we talk it says attention feels good especially when it's not being reciprocated at home.
Yes. So that's the thing, right? And people can get in the lifestyle and they're getting all this attention. And then they go home and they're not getting that. They're going to go back to that thing that they're getting that attention from. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to go to that place that make you feel good, baby. That make you feel like you on cloud line. All right.
So the lifestyle, always go always go back to communication yes if your partner does something you don't like you need to say something you have to say something yep you absolutely do sweet talker says we like to have conversations after a party whether we play or not ask questions like what you liked what you didn't like um that i did or what happened right right yeah we have those too we call that the debrief the debrief right yes it's like we always have a debrief after a party or a type of situation just to see kind of like a check-in to see how we felt about um the events so what do you think the benefit of those check-ins are as it pertains to like cheating how do you think uh a debrief um or even a pre-brief can help you um prevent cheating or the the open that door so not open the door to cheating correct correct okay so i think that if you you can debrief to kind of just tap in to see what people are feeling right because sometimes you don't even know you enjoyed a certain type of escapade until it happened and there's like i actually like this thing like can we incorporate this into our relationship somehow right but you didn't even know you wanted that thing right and i think a good debrief will give you the opportunity to talk about those feelings of jealousy or those feelings of like satisfaction that you might have felt like, you know, it felt really good that those people told me that I look nice tonight.
Yeah. Bam. Automatically, you know, I'm taking in the data. You know, yes. Like, oh, shit.
Does that mean I'm not saying it saying it enough you know that opens that conversation up and um i think that could be very helpful in the long run you just planted a good seed of like protection you know yes uh for your relationship by having that type of conversation yeah absolutely i mean you want to feel desired by your partner at the end of the day because we always talk about how at at the end of all the escapades what's important is our relationship we are number one priority right that's a fact and we say that all the time so all the rest of is kind of extracurricular activity but we need to make sure still whatever made him feel good in a situation or made me feel good in a situation if we're giving that to each other yeah outside of the lifestyle right definitely okay so i got another hypothetical thing but what if it's something that i am incapable of right by like a woman maybe a woman does something for you that i i haven't done i couldn't i can't perform the way you, you know, rubbing your pussies together.
I can't give you that, you know, but you really, really like that feeling. You like that feeling, right? You know what I'm saying? Yes.
So that would, I think that could be something that we would talk about, address like a feeling of like, wow, she was able to get you to come by doing this thing that i can't give to you so how do we beat that that's a good example um what do we do there in that case we just discuss rewriting a rule like would it be okay if your partner played with a female and you just watched right right you know to kind of get that urge to satisfy that to satisfy that but it's all about again just saying those things like you gotta let me know i have to let you know how i feel about it yes and you have to let me know that that's something that you would like to continue to do and we find a compromise somewhere in between is that gonna be easy conversation maybe maybe not right maybe maybe not but it would be a conversation or like you know big dick harry come along with his tree trunk and i'm like oh shit yes oh boy she liked it what the fuck do i do now exactly but i think it's the same situation it's the same as you know if a woman was providing you with something that i just i't do, you know what I'm saying?
We find a way to compromise. Yeah. You just find a way to compromise without cheating. Yeah. So what else we got? Another one says, yes, attention does feel great, especially when someone outside the primary relationship validates our attractiveness. Yeah. That's that.
That's that little that newness, that euphoria that you feel when you're like you know hey you know when you meet somebody new and they're telling you all that good stuff about you it does feel good and it can be addictive uh someone else says yes we don't take play dates if we are in a disagreement that's smart that's smart that's damn goddamn duchess coming through smart that's a good one because you don't want to open up that door if you're in a vulnerable space of like if you're hurting, you're mad, you know, and then somebody comes along smelling all goddamn good.
That is, that's a recipe for disaster. So I like that one, Dutchess. That's a good one.
That's a good rule good rule i like that and the next sweet talker says that it's much better to communicate this than to be dishonest or and have to answer for it later yeah correct yep yes yeah man uh someone else says and that debriefing can be sexy yes right make it sexy to the uh yeah so the conversation flows better yeah i agree with that right it doesn't have to be like well you don't do this for me and they did that for me no let's talk about how you enjoyed it let's run it back you know step by step see y'all my beautiful wife she can talk a hole in your head on this show but it's like pulling teeth getting her getting some naughty details out of her in the car yeah you know i know like babe what'd you like about it it was okay uh-huh it felt good and he's just like just no i want the details give me a little bit more baby give me more yes but yes i think you're right i think you're right uh sweet talker i appreciate that one uh next sweet talker says exactly tris we've had debriefs where we've learned new tricks for the bedroom it helps it does it helps because like not to say okay like guys all right i'm not saying your partner is like a one trick pony right it's not that but you kind of know your partner after a while if you've after you've been having sex for a while can you kind of of know not necessarily what to expect, but you know who they are.
Right. So when you have any other experiences, it is a great way to kind of introduce new things in the bedroom to make it exciting because you still want that. You're for your feel with your partner, too. You don't want to just keep seeking that outside into the lifestyle.
also want to feel that when you are with your partner right you don't want to just feel like okay right foot left turn this way right lift this leg up now you know like you don't want that robotic like sex right especially after you've been together for years at that point you spice it up you gotta switch it up you know and if those if that switch up comes uh because you learn something new at the club or you learn something new with that that partner so what so what you know again we're saying this like it's easy but sometimes it might be hard to say you know whatever oh great example great fucking example if y'all listen to that couple next door man j and k check them out uh one in their early episodes they had um they had like one of their first or second like uh play experiences they were with a couple and the couple the guy in the couple um took a pillowcase and put it around the waist of uh k wrapped the pillowcase around and like hit it doggy style with the pillowcase.
And from that, you know, she loved it. Jay loved it so much that he adopted it and started doing it at home and to other play partners. Right. Y'all check out that episode and subsequent episodes where he really will tell you that he learned the pillowcase move from another guy. You know what I'm saying? There you go. From a play partner and put it in and people love it. So ultimately, who gives a shit? You got a new thing in your repertoire. Pull that bad boy out and use it. Exactly. All right.
Now Sweet Talker says that it also may teach you how to be, it also may teach your partner something new. Exactly. Bingo. Just like that, that pillowcase trick. Oh, yeah. Somebody heard that episode before. Somebody said, oh, yeah, that was a good episode. Exactly. Right, right. Some good tricks. Yeah. So moving to the next question, people. This is the meat and potatoes. Yes. How about this one? Can a lifestyle relationship survive cheating? So I think that.
We disagree on this all the time do we yeah well okay i was going to say that i think that if any relationship can survive um cheating like there are relationships period like lifestyle or not vanilla lifestyle whatever that survived cheating So therefore, I think a lifestyle relationship can survive cheating. Now, the way you might go about it might be different. That's that's where we disagree. Yes, because let me let me ask you guys this before I start giving all my cards away.
I'm going to ask you, do you think that it's easier to survive cheating or infidelity in a lifestyle relationship why because you feel like you get a pass not necessarily a pass but because you've opened your relationship up to these extravagant new things that you feel like it should be a little bit more forgiving that we just maybe need to like tweak a rule or something maybe that's kind of where i fall that's kind of where i fall i kind of believe that maybe there's a a rule tweak that might need to happen depending on the bomb that was dropped right depending on the infraction now i agree we agree on that part depending on the fractionraction of what was done yeah like if you go out fuck around get somebody pregnant come on man no no that's a that's a big time deal breaker in most marriages or relationships yeah but it also depends on okay for me it depends on this right so let's say you you did an infraction and the infraction was just very it wasn't a sexual infraction.
So you didn't actually have sex with someone, but you were having a some emotional interaction with the person talking to them on the side and things like that that I didn't know about. So you have a whole relationship with them on the side outside outside of us, and I find out about it. If you then, at that point, try to lie about what I found and then continue to lie to me about it without coming just clean, then no, we're going to be done. Okay.
Because then you're putting lies on top of lies that you've already lied about before okay and you're making it worse so let's see some sweet talker says uh yes it's possible someone said oh that's a hard question and another one says i vote yes um and someone says that's hard considering you have the freedom to do what you want and then you take more. Kinda. You kinda have the freedom to do what you want. And then you take more. Kinda. You kinda have the freedom to do what you want. Because in most lifestyle relationships, you do have boundaries. You got boundaries. You got rules.
So cheating in those circumstances, you took some liberties. Because, I mean, she sold me fucking this one girl. Why can't I go fuck this one? Or go back to having sex with this girl because we've already had sex with her before. And she and I were in the same place at the same time, you know, lunchtime, lunch date, you know, and we just had sex in the car. What's the big deal? Right? That's cheating. Big time. You know, because you didn't know about it. You know, because I didn't ask your permission or, you know, we didn't follow protocol when it came to that situation.
You know what I'm saying? So that would be let me clarify. It sounds like I did this before. No, I didn't. No, no. The way I was saying that story, it sounded like Locke was guilty of some bullshit. No. And it's just that like we've had like a few friends throughout the year. So we're kind of like meshing a lot of different parts of of situations together um that we've seen happen throughout the years and yeah it just doesn't end well right okay so does it open the door to conversations about your needs like finding like um oh we got a good one Let's see.
says no i believe there is no past because again there should have been communication and boundaries can't take that ignorant mile yep when you were given the awesome itch oh i like that say that line one more time let it come through yeah yes say it can't take that ignorant mile when you were given the awesome inch but recovery can happen i agree with that last part as well you know recovery can happen so the part that you and i mostly agree uh disagree on really is um that recovery yes when you were saying okay all right after all the dust settles you know tris has cheated and it's like oh my god my heart is broken we got babies we got a house oh shit you know all this shit oh it's terrible we've done you know we've gone through all this and we're trying to figure out the next step now since we are are living this, quote unquote, enlightened lifestyle, right?
When we don't necessarily partake in all the traditional methods of marriage and relationships, you would think that you have an open mind to maybe, maybe she just needed something. maybe that that episode where she cheated and did this thing was a cry out because she needed something, something that maybe, uh, I wasn't providing, um, you know, physically, emotionally, something like that. So then you, you start to question and say, all right, if she needs that, let's have that talk.
And maybe our relationship structure might need might have to change because it's all about how bad you want to stay in that relationship, how much you love that person, how much you want to keep your marriage or your relationship.
How badly do you want to stay in this thing is how much of a fight you're going to put up for it and how willing you are to reconstruct what that relationship looks like okay right so maybe uh maybe you start getting hall passes you know because you were looking for whatever it is that you were looking for maybe you know or maybe we go to like a polyamorous kind of situation. But then is that a circumstance where you're trying to use the lifestyle to fix cheating? What do you think? I think it can be seen as that. I feel like I put a lot out there. Yeah, I think it can be seen as that.
That is a way to fix something that was an issue. So you're trying to use the lifestyle to fix it. Yeah. Okay. Is it different because we've already been in the lifestyle and we know what the lifestyle entails and we know, you know, that there are other people out there, not necessarily like we're brand new to this and we're saying like we've been married and we've never done lifestyle stuff before, but you had, you, you cheated.
And then now, okay, now okay well maybe you just you can do that you know because i love you so much is that lifestyle fixing relationship is that what that is yes what do you think of it what do you think of that i just think that anytime you try to like use the lifestyle if you've been in a lifestyle or just getting into the lifestyle whatever it is to fix a cheating issue it's never going to work um i do agree with you however Thank you are in a lifestyle and you cheat um it just still depends on what that infraction is i do want to get back to that because if it's just like okay you were like sending nudes on the side right it's not not to say that's not wrong that's still wrong because you didn't tell your partner but it's not as big as of an infraction as you were in a gangbang in a you know in an orgy with this couple with your kids teacher and yeah or you went over this vanilla's house and you banged her out oh yeah that's different type of infraction right so there are certain levels to that they're still cheating it's just a different type of infraction yep that's all so with that if it was just like doing news or something like that yeah maybe you could you know tweak a rule and we can have that discussion we're not really using a lifestyle to fix anything at that point which is having an open discussion for why did you do what you did right and what are we missing can we fix it by doing a rule or do we need to take a time out altogether from the lifestyle and just focus on us yeah and i think uh well sweet talker chimed in thanks and they said lifestyle is no fix for a relationship on the rocks facts that's facts um but i was thinking that yeah i mean sure you can make adjustments to the smaller things the quote-unquote smaller things it depends on how you feel about pictures and shit like that you know for that that particular uh scenario that you presented but i think that there are some couples who are brave enough let me let me go ahead and use that word uh um to restructure after cheating right maybe they just decide to open their relationship again because how bad do you want this relationship how bad you know you got the kids and you got all this stuff people might just restructure i'm not saying that they're going to be successful in the lifestyle but they might start doing that right what just have an open relationship or just you know like start right satisfying that need that you have for women let's find out how to satisfy that i caught you cheating you know somebody's sleeping in my house right remember that video and uh cisco caught the girl sleeping with the other girl um maybe cisco and his girl had a conversation where on thursdays every other thursday she can go date that girl you know i mean it could work it depends on if like you said how bad you want it it wouldn't work for me but it can work it could it could so yeah all right um that's all i got honey what do you think man yeah cheating is always a hard one we've been trying to figure out how to do this episode for a while um and we were just trying to just structure it correctly that we can actually have these open conversations with our sweet talkers about your thoughts about cheating in a lifestyle because sometimes people think that there's no such thing in the lifestyle because you have this awesomeness but you can still mess up and cheat you can definitely fuck up um and i just wanted to say uh thank you to all our sweet talkers man you guys are hanging in there with us uh during the covid i hope you guys are all staying safe.
And if you're back out there having fun, playing around, make sure you are playing safely with some people that you trust. And if you're going to clubs and whatnot, send me pictures because I want to see what it looks like in there. I'm so jealous. Absolutely. No, we have, you know, we're missing the real world, right?
We are in a place where we're just like uh we're getting so much closer we're just hoping that you know um playtime is going to come back up sometime soon we're just hanging in there and we appreciate you guys jumping in hanging in there with us while uh you know the sweet life is is making it through the covid as well um yep and we have some exciting new episodes coming up soon we have also we're going to the beach we're going to gunnison yeah we are going to gunnison going to shake that naked ass yes we are uh while being socially distant we're going to social distance and drink and drink um we got like trish said we got some cool interviews we got some good stuff down the pipe.
Yeah, man. So we appreciate y'all hanging in there. And The Sweet Life is just going to continue to get better. We love y'all comments. We appreciate all the participation. You guys are making this thing rock. Yeah, just stay tuned and hang in there. And we're going to have some more people that y'all can talk to. Absolutely. And not just the beautiful Trist. We're going to have some more lovely faces to talk to. Yes. And, guys, also feel free to send us any type of subjects that you want to talk about. DM us. Send us that. We always look at the information.
Or if you have any sexy pics, we look at those, too. Oh, being naughty. You're being naughty again. Oh, yeah. Hey, shout out to one of my sexy sweet talkers for joining APG and posting. Yes. Yeah. Girl, you bad. Yeah, you bad. I've seen the pictures too. Girl. Ooh. So, yeah, y'all, jump over to allplayground.net, another shameless plug. Yeah, man. I think that's all I got. Thank you guys for joining. Thanks, guys. We'll catch you in two weeks. Bye. All right, sweet talkers. Once again, don't forget to check out altplayground.net for all of your lifestyle needs.
If you're looking for like-minded people, events, parties, or just a ton of resources, check out altplayground.net. See you there.
Again, we'd like to thank you for living a sweet life with us to everyone who couldn't join us live in the suite check out our podcast on itunes stitcher spotify google play and iheart radio be sure to subscribe rate and review feel free to email us at living the sweet life podcast at gmail.com you can also follow us on instagram at the sweet life podcast and on twitter at sweet life pod don't forget to subscribe to us on our youtube channel at living the sweet life podcast so that you can be a sweet talker the next time so do you have anything else to say to our lovely guests until next time keep living the sweet life.
