Episode 006 - Swinging Thru Major Life Changes

Transcript

Speaker1: Living the Sweet Life is a podcast intended for mature audiences only. We'll be using sexually explicit language while discussing many different adult themes. So if you're under the age of 18, please stop listening. Also, please know that our thoughts and opinions should not be taken as professional advice. We're here to help answer your questions about the swinger lifestyle, from newbies to longtime swingers unicorns and poly triads we hope to engage you all and encourage sex positive discussions now that we got that out of the way make yourself comfortable and join us in living the sweet life Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us welcome to episode six of living the sweet life she is my beautiful stunning right hand co-host and wife the lovely trist and he is my wonderful charismatic husband lock i like that i'll take that well thank you beautiful hey look uh I'll see that. Well, thank you, beautiful. Hey, look, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us in episode six of Living the Sweet Life. We're having a blast recording these episodes with you and for you. Hey, you know, before we get into everything tonight, I definitely wanted to knock out some of the housekeeping stuff. First and foremost, I want to say thanks to everybody who has submitted reviews for us and gave us nice little comments on Instagram and Twitter. We really appreciate that. Please keep them coming. Let us know where we can make some improvements for you. And, you know, we want to let you guys know where you can reach us. Um, please feel free to email us at, uh, the sweet life podcast at gmail.com. You can follow us on Instagram at the sweet life podcast, and you can follow us on Twitter at sweet life pod. And for everybody that joins us on YouTube live, please don't forget to jump over and check out the actual uh podcast you can find us on itunes stitcher google play and spotify and while you're there please take a second to give us a rating and review we would definitely appreciate five stars but if it's anything less please just let us know let us know why let us know where we can improve for you um And I think that's about it babe did i get it i think you nailed it nailed it hey um so yeah tonight we are going to be talking about picking up the pieces i got it right picking up the pieces and getting back into the swing of things um through major life. Right. So what that means to us is, do you want to talk about it or you want me to do it? You can go. All right. Yeah. So what that means is, uh, you know, and, and a lot of these lifestyle podcasts or just when you're out and you're living your lifestyle world, um, or if you're just a vanilla trying to get into it you're curious about it you hear all the glitz and the glamour you hear all the sexy stories you hear about the parties you hear about the boobs you hear about you know uh orgies and drinking and all the crazy shit right all of the the glitz and the glam and the sexified of it yeah yeah but what people forget is that you know we got lives too right we we have a lot of we got a lot of things going on um we live our day-to-days just like anybody else and sometimes that stuff can derail your your sexy uh your sexy plans absolutely i mean because we are actually real people that have um a life and families uh so it's not always about um the glitz and the glam and a few episodes back guys we mentioned to you that we wanted to um kind of pull back the curtain on the lifestyle and what that entails is that we wanted to share with you our our experiences and how we got through those to continue to be in a lifestyle and also share some other experiences that we just have met other friends throughout the lifestyle that have gone through some things because it's not always about the party the parties are great and and all of those things but we also are real people that have families or just are just living are just living your day to day life. Right. Yeah. I mean, you got responsibilities, right? I mean, without all that stuff that, you know, uh, you know, that, that solidifies who you are, you know, you, you wouldn't be able to go out and do these parties and hang out and meet all these friends. Now let me be clear, you know, this isn't meant to be a downer. No, this is just a little bit like if you want to click on this episode and listen to some tips, you know, on some real stuff. Like when we first began this podcast, we always made a promise to you guys that we were going to keep it real. Absolutely. We were going to tell you what it's really like out here for us, especially, you know what I mean? But some people may be going through some stuff and they might find this advice useful. Absolutely. Because if we would have had someone kind of share with us just how they actually navigated through some of the experiences that they had, then it would have made a difference for us, too. probably would help put some things into perspective for us absolutely and just know that sometimes it's not really um just to help you out through your actual experience but just to know that you're not the only person right that has been through a certain type of situation is always great absolutely i couldn't have said it better uh so yeah man let's let's talk about this whole act two act one thing you I'm sure you guys have heard us mention um act two uh us getting back out there and trying to figure things out but let's talk about what act one was like what was that like for us in the beginning like when we first came when we first came into the lifestyle it was great it's party central we partied all the time we got sexy we went to resorts we were on the scene all the time yeah it was like 100 miles an hour man once we got wind of i can do what i can take my clothes off and party like i can drink like you're gonna just keep refilling this like and just tips okay cool keep it coming yes and it was it was great and it lasted for us for a few years and we were having an awesome time yeah we were having a great time man we we found our rhythm um we may have i think we did mention this in one of our very early episodes is that we have a blended family. Right. So not all of our kids live with us, my kids. Right. So my kids come over on the weekends or every other weekend. And in that, when we when we first started in our lifestyle journey, we were able to plan very strategically our weekends, our trips. We were able to really pinpoint where we were going to go have our sitters lined up we had it down i mean we had to the team we did we had our go bag ready whenever we dropped off the kids we were able to buck a ui right back out the door and hit a party or whatever i mean we we had the two worlds so balanced it wasn't even a game for us. It was great. We were able to be parents. We were able to party and still go to work and maintain our jobs. We did. Yeah, we were a little sleepy-eyed, though. Sometimes it was tough getting in there, but we did it, though. We did it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we definitely had the rhythm. had we were making friends we were traveling doing the party thing and then um you know stuff happens and then things happen and for us um not all bad things not all bad things i mean we both found new jobs and new positions and that's not a bad thing um but that was a kind of a change for us and And that didn't I wouldn't say for that, that didn't really derail us as much as finding when we found new jobs or just more of just adjusting to like what your actual schedule is going to be while we were getting adjusted to the new position. So I wouldn't say that changed us as much. But the next thing that happened was we moved. Oh, man, we did. We did move. Hey, Trish, you know what I'm forgetting, baby? What? I forgot to ask you how you feeling tonight. He sure did. He forgot to ask me how I was feeling. I did. I feel so bad about that. I always want to check in with you, baby. But we are going to take a pause and I want to know how you feeling honey you know tell me how you feeling i'm feeling i'm feeling great guys i i really am i was so excited to get home i was like i don't i was the warden tonight on the check checking the time right because we were at a wedding and i was sitting there like i don't care what what's going on. We have to leave this wedding by seven. Yeah, it was tough. It was definitely it was a four hour fiasco, man. It was crazy. I was and I was I was like, I don't care if they've cut the cake. We have to leave it. We got to go. We had to be back in time, you know, for the actual podcast and to get ready to talk to you guys. You know, to to meet you guys so we had to talk to you so how are you feeling a lot me i'm feeling great man i feel uh relieved that the that we are back indoors because that outdoor is no joke if you guys are on the east coast hell predominantly any part of the u.s these days we are suffering and a heat wave is hot as hell it was like 106 yeah it was crazy but uh feeling good man i'm always feeling better when i'm next to you so um hey real quick i you know i i know we did y'all uh jump around a little bit but i wanted to let our sweet talkers know that, or did you? You wanted to talk to them? Yes, guys. Tell them how things are going tonight. Things tonight, we're going to switch it up and do a little bit differently. We're going to actually open up the suite for our sweet talkers now. And you guys can feel free to post any comments or questions that you have. And periodically throughout the show will answer them perfect so i know we jumped around a little bit we're gonna get things back on track guys so uh yeah we were just talking about like uh once we had the new, then we had the move and that move was quite significant from where we lived before to where we are now tackling a good 20 miles to to anywhere. So our parties went from weekend party four times or more a month to they significantly decreased because our commute went from maybe 20 minutes at the least to 40 minutes at the max to double that when we move right so um we were able to still go out and party and basically how we tackle that what's that um we had to just decrease we had to decrease the amount of parties that we actually were going to per month because we were hitting it, you know, like four or five parties, whatever it was. If we could work it out in our schedule, we were doing it. But because we live so far, that commute came with overnight stays that had to either happen because it was so far away for us to travel back and we wanted to be safe or we had to decide not to go to the party because we just couldn't accommodate the time away right so yeah I mean you exactly what you're saying was that you know when we were when we were at the previous spot you know we had an opportunity to opportunity to just like go out, party and come home. Right. But then you move a little bit further. It became a game changer. It was like a decision time to like tack on another night to your whole situation. And with that comes a babysitter situation. And, you know, that's more of an expense and just more time. And you got to have another explanation on why you're coming home the next day it was just it was another stressor so how did we deal with that like you said I guess you did kind of explain it like we just had to like slow down on the parties right yeah we just decreased the amount of parties that we actually went to so we still party guys don't like we were still partying at that time it's just we had to just be very selective of the parties we actually decided to go to yeah very selective of who who got that time like time became very very precious precious right precious for us at that time so with that um we also have at this point we have kids on different levels right um what does that mean what that means is we have a kid that's about to graduate graduate high school that's about to go into middle school and then we have a baby brand new baby a brand new baby so we have kids also at different levels which makes it also kind of challenging at times um to kind of find babysitters uh so that is another life changer that can happen right so it's like on the one hand you can you can try to use the oldest kid as a babysitter you know and that only works but so much without feeling like you're putting that burden on that kid like all the time but i mean And, you know, drop a little dough uh her way and and she you know she'll be quiet you know because it goes to her little sneakers or her ice cream or whatever the hell she's spending money on these days but um but then you know you don't want to overburden them and you don't want to you know confuse all the kids and then their schedules start to get busy and it's like you're ripping and running trying to take care of everybody else and it's kind of like our needs get put to the back burner a little bit so what ended up happening is that we started being able to party less during the school year mostly because again our kids schedule starts to pick up during school year. I don't like the way this is going, man. This is kind of sounding like everything that happens, it equals less partying. Right. Well, yeah, not necessarily. It's just that we this is these are the changes that happen to us so that in the first couple of years we were able to do four or five parties and then it kind of decreased from there so basically the next thing that happened for us is that hey we had a brand new baby yeah yeah yep so we have a brand new baby not we had we have a brand new baby yeah and that also has its own challenges so but i mean what are some other things guys that maybe you guys have faced and while you're trying to get your party and lives together you know what I mean I know this lifestyle can can take up a lot of time you're trying to foster new relationships you're trying to hang out with new people trying to build those relationships enough that you can have sex with somebody new and i know that takes time for some people some people can get out there and just kick it and do whatever and then go back home and call it a day but some people uh don't have don't don't share that kind of enthusiasm really right like you gotta some people it takes some time to get to know people before you're that comfortable right absolutely so I mean um you know there are a myriad of things that can happen uh that can kind of derail your lifestyle journey you want to talk about some of those things maybe yeah we've we've known people that have gotten divorced um that were in the, and that kind of had to make a decision if they were going to continue to be in the lifestyle. Because how do you explain to someone who's brand new, that has no idea what this life is? You mean a new partner? Your new partner, right? Someone that's brand new, right? um how do you explain to them what exactly this thing is and are they going to be okay with it and then we've seen uh other people that actually have entered into new relationships and the new partner doesn't quite understand doesn't quite get it that's a hard sell and that also has its own challenges and can cause people to either not continue to be in a lifestyle they make that choice or it can cost them their new relationship because they still want um to be in a lifestyle so they're just looking for a person that's willing to accept that so here's something that always i always think about when it comes to like divorcing uh in the lifestyle right so who gets the friends you know what I'm saying like who who do the friends go to who do you go to in that because when when you're in the lifestyle you're you're meeting people as a couple you know I'm saying so you meet people as a couple and then once the once you split up like your friends are probably kind of torn between going between the male or female or whatever you know partner a and partner b and that's that's a tough decision right it is very rough i will tell you as um as we've been in the situations before um that we've known a few people that are divorced or just broken up and it becomes a very very awkward task to follow and we've always made to stay neutral yeah we don't choose but it's still very awkward it's tough it's tough just know that if you leave me i'm getting the friends okay you're gonna take my friends i'm taking the friends and we're gonna have to come up with like a club schedule right because i don't want to see you on this day you can't go on that day yeah i'm gonna be here next week right i mean could you imagine that right like you go through a divorce and then you you go on the same night as your ex to like the swinger club and you well you know what i think it depends on how long you guys were actually together and the um the type of relationship that you actually had so i think that some people will be cool with it could work and it could work out and it won't be a big deal but in our experience we have not seen anyone um make it out okay it goes well yeah that it goes well with that so yeah but um we got a sweet talker says awkward awkward absolutely absolutely it's very it's very awkward um but it happens it happens a lot we know a few people that have gone through the same situation and some people just decide not to do it anymore um and then other things can happen i mean you can move away right um and because of a job and you have to move so yeah you may decide hey i don't want to be in this lifestyle anymore or sometimes um some people have just because of work in general that they just can't risk um someone finding out about it so they just decide not to do it anymore right so here's another one when it comes to that relocating thing right um see uh we have some podcast friends uh that couple next door shout out to j and k who just relocated from this area to the west coast and but you know they are so popular they were able to have like a big welcoming committee pretty much of like the lifestyle community where they're from. Not all of us get that right. If you up and move like if it was just you and I and we move away with all of our kids, all of our baggage, and we have no real support system out there, no real sitters, nobody that we can really trust with our kids and everything that lifestyle shit will suffer yes i i agree that it would suffer and it will be hard um to do that and then that's when you just got to start sitting down just having some real talks yeah some real conversations if is this for us right or do we just need to move back home because i can't i can't deal with this right yeah so i mean of course some other factors things things that could happen like a job loss somebody could lose a job because again this this lifestyle it costs to get in the game man definitely does and it costs the party you gotta pay to play pay to play you always say that you do man you gotta pay to play so i mean you know priorities come in come come into play when it comes to like if you you lose your job so i mean obviously you want to keep the lights on and keep the kids fed you don't necessarily want to go out there trying to you know party to get naked real quick no absolutely not treat yourself though but yeah you gotta treat yourself treat yourself to a party every now and then. That's what I say. That's what I always say. Right. All right. And then what about, like, different life stages of your children, though? You know, sometimes your kids, like you said, our kids are at different stages. Sometimes your kids get a little older and kids get busy. It's amazing how busy you kids get. They get really busy. Like, they become a job they do yeah they do just become a job now but let's not scare people um block that don't have kids they're amazing like kids are amazing right and they're great they are a joy to uh yes to my life they are a joy to our lives yes but at the same time they become busy yeah very busy and they have very busy schedules and it can run your whole life just ragged i guess it's just all about prioritizing though right i believe so yeah yeah just prioritizing your schedule and try to balance you know uh we got some friends who have some very very busy kids um you know and it's always amazing how um how they they are a team and they they manage the kids busy schedules very very well and they still manage to keep each other a priority and it's amazing it's a beautiful thing to watch it's i can imagine how tough it is and i always give them kudos and still prioritize you know keeping it all sexy keep it sexy keeping everything sexy and because that's important right you you got to make time to keep it sexy that's right and then and that's what it is um so but guys we want to also uh start to talk to you about why so that that was our act one. So let's go back. How did we get to act two, man? What was that tough part in the middle? Oh, Lord. Yeah, yeah. So our act one, you listened to that. We was great. And you listened to some of it start to decline, but we were still partying. We were still going out and going on vacations and everything. But then act happened and it got really hard well not act two but the transition between act one and act two which was the pregnancy the pregnancy we got pregnant so what was that like for you it was nine months of hell it was literally it was a beautiful time baby it was wonderful it was it was wonderful guys i mean it was so great it was great no man that shit was hard it was not wonderful for me it was hell on wheels for nine whole months i think the first month i was fine when we first found out i was pregnant and it was great but then i got sick and i pretty much stayed sick for the entire yeah pregnancy i want to pause right quick when did we find out you were pregnant it was the I'll see pause right quick. When did we find out you were pregnant? It was the day after what? It was in February, but it was the day after partying. Yeah, it was the very next day. It was the very next day. Really naughty episode. We had a very naughty episode the night before. We were partying like rock stars it was after my birthday and we were having a good time oh man it was such a sexy night it was crazy and it was our last the last hurrah last hurrah had i known god damn it had i known then shit we had turned it into an all weekend fiasco exactly it was our last hurrah so basically what ended up happening was like i got sick and when i got sick um not only did partying decline but just our overall intimacy connection that we had physical physically right yes that's a good point that's a good point you made a good point physically declined yeah I just could not do it any movement like getting in the car was a task for me so any movement I couldn't imagine getting on top of you trying to ride you or you just thrusting me in any type of way it was bad news it was gonna be bad we didn't want that drama and so it was we just couldn't we couldn't do anything and it was hard it was one of the hardest um things that we had to do because we went from the peak of our just sexual right just drive right everything we were great and skirt it was going to a screeching halt somebody bumped the dj table yeah the dj table was like you know pump the brakes yeah turn the lights on and yeah yeah it was tough it was the party was over yeah we went through um we had some battles with like uh i know myself personally i went through some battles of some insecurity. And again, throughout that time, it was amazing that when you were building these relationships with lifestyle folks, those are the people that kind of came through for you. Not only lifestyle folks, but it was surprising that some lifestyle folks were still there. I was able to go out and get some drinks with uh one of my one of my dudes um just to take my mind off of things just to reconfirm that you know lock you're okay it's going to be okay there's light at the end of the tunnel you know she'll be back in the game it's going to be all right you know yeah because i mean one of the thoughts uh it will be well was it wasn't will be was that will we go back into lifestyle will she want to be in the lifestyle like after she has the baby yeah what will i our new life be like um if we didn't decide to do this anymore right so it really came down to having those conversations with each other i think the whole entire time so all the stuff that we talked about earlier in act one even with the moving the switching jobs and the kids on different schedules and all of that none of that stuff had come to us actually having a conversation with is are we going to continue or not right that did not happen until we got pregnant until we got pregnant I mean we make the pregnancy sound like it was it was tough and don't get me wrong it was but it was actually uh it was still a good thing for us and it helped us to actually focus on communicating and and put each other back as number one priority we were able to kind of filter out So let's go. a good thing for us and it helped us to actually focus on communicating and and put each other back as number one priority we were able to kind of filter out um everyone really it was kind of we was like on an island by ourselves you know but we did have some real cool folks that checked in on us and throughout the time and i'll get back to that in one second um but we were able to really focus in on communicating and finding out what each other really needs um and find out what if if trist wanted to continue in the lifestyle and then what would that journey look like after um but to go back to that other thought uh during that time you know everyone you kind of say you you kind of throw the title a friend around a lot right yeah but then during some real hard times that's when you really get to find out who those friends are whether they're lifestyle or not and and we had some really uh dope friends stick in there with us come and visit us rub uh tris belly throughout that time and you know just just treat us like we were actual friends and those are the friendships that are really meaningful to us and those are the types of things that we look for when we are in the lifestyle you know absolutely and and those are key points for us because not only are we in a lifestyle and you can party with friends and we can be sexy or have an episode with a friend or not but it's important when you're actually going through something where we actually had someone which was me at that time who was sick and a lot of people came through for us i mean they came over we you know they came to the baby showered they made sure to yeah they checked in on us are you guys okay um they some of the young ladies that um i've hung out with took me on a trip to the beach that's right they treated you to little mocktails yeah like cocktail they was mock i had mocktails and they made sure i was okay yeah and i was made you. I was the DD. I was the DD. See, that's the good thing about someone that's pregnant, by the way. I was the DD driver, and it was cool. So I still got to hang out and see people. It just wasn't in that realm, basically. So it's not like I didn't see anyone. I i just couldn't hang yeah hang out like that um but yeah so hey uh shout out to mr dependable 55 there says feel you thought about leaving the ls many times hey mr dependable if you wouldn't mind uh let us know what was your thoughts there why did you feel like uh leaving the lifestyle i mean um i know we we're talking about a whole bunch of different um areas here we'd be very interested to know what kind of triggered that thought for you and uh how'd you end up staying in there so yeah whenever you can just shoot us a little something we'll jump back to you so um yeah so i mean throughout their pregnancy we went through a whole bunch of like insecurities and i know i went through a ton myself you know i was feeling like the least sexiest guy in the world and i know it feels it feels like that's a very selfish thing to say because you know you're the one going through all the body changes you know what i'm saying um well you went through some too he started gaining weight i did i was i gained weight and he gained weight so it wasn't? Well, you went through some, too. He started gaining weight. I did. I gained weight and he gained weight. So it wasn't like you went through some, too, too. I did. Also. You're right. You're right. I did. I definitely packed on a few pounds there and it was it was hell getting them off. I think, you know, you lost all the weight and I'm still fighting my fight. He, I, he, he's no, he's fine. He's absolutely fine. Yeah. But yeah. So we went through that and then we had the baby. But I mean, hold on before we get there. I mean, we definitely during that time, we also had a fear of missing out, right? We had some good FOMO going on. Yes. We had some good FOMO. That can be a major thing when it comes to like lifestyle stuff. I mean, in general you always feel like you might be missing out or something and yeah and that can actually um put in some resentment um it could like put that seed in and you start and fill in some resentment that you're missing out because of your partner right it's all your fault you know and it's all your fault um We were lucky that we didn't have that. But it definitely I could see how that can start to spark build up. But I mean, the good thing during this time, again, we were able to manage how exactly what are we doing in a lifestyle currently? What were we doing? And what do we want want to change so it was a great break for us to start having those discussions with each other right and also at that time lock start listen to podcasts oh yeah i forgot about that little yeah you forgot yeah i mean that was he had to filter his time guys yeah i definitely did i mean i just had to keep myself busy I had to feel like there was some sexy stuff going on and you know I was listening to all the all the cool details and I basically just started from the beginning like with uh Swinger Diaries and just listened to each and every episode like in my commute while I was mowing the grass and you know it just kind of made me feel like the lifestyle wasn't too far away. Now I would try to get Trish to listen to some, she wasn't quite feeling it, you know, it depended on the mood of the day, you know what I mean? But, um, you know, it definitely kept, kept the interest in me. It kept me kind of thinking about things in a different way and then in that I would bring things to her so I mean if you're ever going through something like this I feel like you know podcasts or books or even like movies or whatever um those things that keep the keep the spark in your head or um it'll just keep your ideas fresh and that's kind of what it did for me right and also this also for the the person who's pregnant and just to not feel pressure that no pressure really helped me like you didn't feel like you were pressuring me to be like okay we have to get back into we have to do something while you're pregnant we have to do like it was i never felt that so and you think that was because of the podcast huh the podcast like alleviated that that stress for me it kind of like took well it took my focus off of you is that no you just didn't give stress to me okay as far as making me feel stressed out to feeling like i needed to do something to perform just so that you can feel good like you know maybe call over a friend i don't know but i didn't have that Thank you. needed to do something to perform just so that you can feel good like you know maybe call over a friend I don't know but I didn't have that so um so that worked out well for us and and literally guys you know some people are pregnant they you know they're they're great and they get their sex drive is awesome I was literally in that two percent realm that I just did not have the desire because I just felt so bad all the time. But then we had the baby, right? So she's great. She's healthy. She's wonderful. And then we also had a few months after that where we still were trying to pick up the pieces and reconnect because now we had breastfeeding and a baby my mind was blown like when it comes to that breastfeeding and the hormones that it takes away from her and she just doesn't have a desire because for me like once that baby came out it was like okay bet let's go clock is ticking right like what they say six weeks for her to heal up or something like that yes and then she starts working out and she starts looking all sexy and you're getting those pheromones it's like okay well um looks at watch uh let's go it's been six weeks uh i'm ready are you ready and and it just was not there for me so literally we had to start reading up on articles like what is going on and for me i was in that two percent there too yeah where i just was my body was not producing what it needed for me to feel a desire because i was breastfeeding and i literally felt that too i was in that two percent realm of women that it's you just got to wait until you're done and for the hormones to start to build back up. Yeah, man. That shit was hard. It was a tough nine months and then a tough another five months after that. Yeah. Yeah, it was tough. It was definitely tough. But we were able to go to our first lifestyle party when the baby was about three months. It was like three months after she was born. Yeah. What was that like for you, babe? How'd you feel? Oh my gosh, guys. Getting ready for that. I literally was only a couple of months later and I was not feeling secure at all. My boobs were massive. My butt was huge. my hips was out there i looked like a video vixen you know on 10 which was crafted by the gods great for him all natural yeah but i couldn't fit anything to go to this party i literally went through my whole entire closet and only one dress would fit and that's all you needed baby that's all you needed and right and i wore that dress and we went to uh we went to the club and just to celebrate one of our friends birthday and i remember just thinking like what are we doing here i was so nervous i didn't know what to do with myself I just didn't feel like my body was where it needed to be and it was just a hot mess for me in my head I mean I was playing it cool on the outside on the outside I was like hey I look good but on the inside I was sitting there like no this is you did though I mean you look great to me you know you look great and i was sure to to go out and buy some new threads for myself because i wanted to like i wanted to tear you up when we got home i just wanted to i really was just like this is gonna be it like finally i'm gonna get some ass like this is it i'm gonna get it so i went out and threw some new threads on, got some new boots and shit. I felt real good. Threw some smell goods on. Yeah, he was looking great. I have no idea if we got laid that night. I really don't know. I don't know if we did or not. I don't think so. I don't, probably not. I think we were sleepy. And we were sleepy. We were tired. Yeah, that was it. We left the party at like midnight.. Yeah, we yeah, we were sleepy. We went right to sleep when we got home. But you know, what happened with that, it took a lot of communication, even through that process, a lot of patience and communication. And we made it through that phase. And then we decided to start talking about our act, too. Right. But I want to find out from you guys, like, I mean, is anything ringing the bell? Have you guys had to go through any struggles like this? Are we off base here? Like, what do you guys think? Let us know. OK, so go ahead, babe. I mean, to in to cut you off honey just wanted to shout out our sweet talkers so we went into our act two and in our act two we decided to say okay we're going to get back into the lifestyle remember earlier in the conversation i said that some couples have these discussions like do i want to continue in the lifestyle this is the only time we came into that crossroad so that question was always yes okay so that was a very simple thing yes we want to continue in the lifestyle yes this is something we want to do was it that simple though was it really that simple to say you know this is something we want to do yes check check and moving on yes it was you knew the whole time that this is where you wanted to be absolutely okay cool yeah i mean i did too uh i just again i had my doubts on where you were because i mean like i said um when we talked about this yesterday um for us to go including other people into our sexual activities um for fun right for that recreation and then for us to go including other people into our sexual activities for fun. Right. For that recreation. And then for us to go from that high level to absolutely nothing was kind of disconcerting. It kind of made me pause like fuck the lifestyle. Right. I just want us to get back together. Right. I'm saying like i want us to find that intimacy again and then and and guys that was always a priority for us as well i know you heard us talk about a lot in this episode about the lifestyle but our priority number one and we've always said this in other episodes always each other so how do we get each other back on track that was a part of that conversation as well and will we continue in the lifestyle and both answers were yes um first we started working on us how do we get us back on track what are we going to do as far as getting our intimacy back to where it needs to be what did we do oh we started setting up freaky Fridays, man. Those were clutch. I heard about them on another podcast. I think I can't remember which one. I think it might have been Swinging Down Under or maybe even that couple next door. Not quite sure at this point, but what was Freaky Friday, honey? So Freaky Fridays were basically we alternated. so it'd be my friday or his friday and you would do the one thing that someone else came up with so we would come up with different creative things to do to spend time with each other and i mean it doesn't always have to be sexual but it doesn't hurt right no absolutely right right but it was definitely some it was