Tuesday Talks: The Secret Formula to Flirting Like a Lifestyle Pro

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday, Talks. Yeah. Talking Tuesday. We did it. Lacey. Why does my name have a W on it? Lacey. Yeah. I don't know. Was it always why I say it like that? No, you did it last week too. Lacey. Last week as in we just recorded it. No. Right before this. I don't know. I don't know. All right. You ready for this week's question? Yeah. All right. Let's go to the phone lines. Hey, Dan. Hey, Lacey. I just want to start off by saying that I appreciate you guys so much. you've helped me navigate this lifestyle, me and my husband, and we just appreciate everything you guys do for the community. But I am a new mom. I had a baby about 10 months ago, and I am kind of out of my game. So we actually got a night out not too long ago, and we went to a swingers club that wasn't, it's like a swingers bar. It's not labeled as that. It kind of has a swinger name, and everyone that goes there knows it's a swingers bar kind of vibe. or anything like that. But we were on the back patio. I had one drink. I didn't have a buzz or anything. I feel like that could have helped me have a little more liquid courage. But there was a girl, my husband left me to get a drink. There was a girl who said, Hey, I love your dress. It's beautiful. And I could not even make eye contact. I couldn't even look up. I said, Thank you. And then like, I immediately looked down. I panicked in that moment. And I know you talk a lot about how to like approach other couples and be open. And although I was so excited and I'm very bisexual so I was so excited and I knew that that was like an innuendo to be like hey you are such a cat I picked up on that but I've been out of the game so long that I panicked and my husband when he came back I told him what happened and he was laughing at me and he's like it's okay he's like we've just been out of the game but anyways I just need some help navigating how to continue a conversation when someone's being a little flirty with you um I feel like whenever I start the conversation And then she gets cut off. But we got the gist of the question. I could feel her smiling through telling the story. It was so cute. And also congratulations on the baby. Yeah, it really highlights one of the things I like about the lifestyle, right? Like she's married, she just had a baby, and here they go to a Swinger Bar, which is funny that she said it's not a Swinger Bar, but everybody knows it's a Swinger Bar. Every town has that. Every town. Especially if you're in the lifestyle, there's that one bar in town that everybody kind of knows that's where you go. Yeah. But anyway, so she goes to the bar and then a lady hits on her. And then, of course, she freaks out and panics and doesn't talk back. But just telling the story, you can literally hear her giddiness in the story. And that's one of the things that, man, the lifestyle can bring you. I love it. That keeps you kind of like that energy and alive that I don't I don't think monogamous people get to experience. Yeah. And I think this can be applied to both sexes. So I think when you've been in a relationship with someone for a significant amount of time, we all know, I mean, like we care about our part, we love our partners, but there is that giddiness that you kind of like lose when you like share a bathroom with somebody. Right. You don't have to watch you poop every day. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So it's really fun to see that. And like you said, it is a super important part. First of all, we are not out of the game. We are very much in it. And I still do that. So it's okay. I think that, especially if you really find somebody attractive and you're kind of caught off guard. And in this case, it's not a swingers bar, but it is. So there's still that level of like, type situation, you know, even though you're in a swinger place, kind of. So I think that's, like, all okay that that all happened. For me, I think it's very endearing when someone is just honest. Like, in that case where you kind of, like, didn't know what to say and then you kind of took a minute, I think it's okay to take a minute and then be like, you are gorgeous I am totally shy and out of my game and you are adorable and I don't know what to say I think that's okay right that's like for me if I was to go up and like speak to a girl or a guy and they said that back to me then I would then in turn be flattered you know like that like that would make me feel good and so then it's just kind of and then you can kind of laugh that off and just kind of embrace that right because If you're the girl that approached her and you go up and you say oh my gosh I love your dress I think you're so beautiful and the person like puts their head down and walks away you're thinking I just struck out So if you like even if you put your head down and like walk away and then like give yourself a minute and then go back and be like I'm so sorry I just had a baby I feel like I'm out of practice thank you for loving my dress I love your jacket my name is Lacey how are you it's nice to meet you right or I think you're beautiful and I just didn't quite know what to say you know that um I think that's endearing and lovely you know I get that with I get this question a lot about girls because a lot of girls are like well I'm very interested in other females but I've never had an experience and I want to have one how do I like say something how do I start that and And you can, like, I love that. You can be honest. Like, if a girl comes up to me and is like, I think you're beautiful, but I've never been with a girl, but I think you're beautiful, and I'm interested, like, that is sweet and a turn-on for me. Yeah, it's funny. This is a little off-subject, but if a guy came up to me and said, Dan, I need your advice, how do I go hit on girls? Yeah. I don't know if I know the answer. Yeah. And this sounds silly, but it's because, In the lifestyle, I don't usually do that. If I think a girl is hot, I would, one, either tell you and say, I think she's really hot and let you go talk to her. So I'm your wingman. Right. Or maybe the furthest I would go is go to her husband and be like, oh, my God, your wife is fucking gorgeous. And I would let him talk to her. I very rarely or almost never go up to a girl and just say, oh, my God, I saw you from across the room. I think you're just the most gorgeous girl. Like, I just don't do that. That would be a little much. Well, I think you're the most gorgeous. Lisa's like, no, you don't think she is. I am the most gorgeous girl in the world. Why the fuck are you telling her that? You saw her from across the room? Let's talk about this. Maybe this is why I don't do that. Maybe we just learned why Dan doesn't do that. No, but I mean, like, that was an extreme case. But like, I do think, though, that you go and like dance with a girl. Like, if you think, And usually it's like we're doing this together. So like if you see that I'm into the husband and you are into the wife, we'll kind of like. Yeah. Yeah, I will dance together. Up on somebody. Yeah. But even then, I, and this is, this is like all the nuances that it's hard to even explain. I don't really usually dance up on a girl unless I've gotten a vibe from her that she wants me to dance up on her. You know what I mean? Like, not to say, I probably have at some point. There's probably some girl listening that's like, you danced up on me. And I was like, Get away from me. But for the most part, I want to feel some kind of energy where you're like inviting me to do that. So my answer would be like, if you think somebody's cute, go talk to their husband or go talk to have your wife go talk to her. That would be my answer. You know, you have a girls to girls are different. Yeah, 100% different. Yeah. Well, and girls to guys are different. You know, I don't I've had a million. That sounds ridiculous. I've had several girls who are super direct with me. And I almost don't know what to you do in some of those situations. Yeah. When a girl stops you in a hallway in a hotel or in the middle of a ship and is like, hey, I listen to your podcast. I'd really like you to fuck me. It's like, okay. Like, hi, I'm Dan. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know how to handle that. Yeah, it is a lot. Yeah, it is a lot. But I think just being yourself and being honest. And I think the more you practice it, the more it will get better. You'll never be an expert. I mean, at least we haven't become experts or at least I don't feel like we are. I am pretty socially awkward. Like if I like somebody, I usually avoid them and don't make eye contact. That's usually my approach. Yeah. Well, I have the wingman for you. So in this, it may be the answer to a lot of this lifestyle stuff about approaching and starting conversations and stuff is the wingman approach probably is the best approach, right? Because if I know you're super into a guy, I can go up to that guy and be like, listen, My wife is super into you. She's never going to tell you that. But if you are into her and you go dance with her, she would react positively to that. Unless I know you told him that. No, you would still. It depends. There's been a few people. There has been some situations where I've done that. Because it was very obvious. The guy approaches you and you still run away. Yeah, because I feel like we're totally off topic here. But I feel like. I forced it. Yeah. And I want the guy just to look at me and be like, oh, she's pretty. I would like to dance with her. Not her husband told me to go dance with her. I overthink the situation and make it super awkward. Yeah. I can see that. But the wingman approach is a great approach in all of this. And I do think at the end of the day, when it comes right down to it, what you said is correct. Just being authentically yourself. Yeah. Even if your authentic self is like an embarrassed. Well, like a little clumsy. a little like trip over, you know, like that is very sweet and enduring. And I would much rather like just from like a personal perspective, I would much rather somebody be like, you talk to me. I was super like, you're gorgeous. I didn't know what to say. I, you know, let's chat. I'm, you know, I would much rather that and then somebody walk up to me and be like, hey, let's go fuck, you know, or something like very direct. Very, like, aggressive. That is a turnoff for me. I would much rather somebody... Even if you're turned on by the person. Yes, yes. I definitely like the approach of, like, being sweet and kind and that kind of approach. Rather than the direct, hey, you're hot, I'm hot, let's go bang. But I'm definitely not the end-all be-all. Some people are very into directness, and that may work for some. But for me, that's just me. Yeah. So maybe somewhere in the middle would be a good thing. Well, no, I agree. I think even me, one, the directness sometimes is too much. Even if, again, you're attracted to the person. But I also think that being authentic and kind of, you know, a little goofy and cute comes across better than it appears you're running some kind of, like, game on me. You know what I mean? Like, it's a rehearsed, like, scripted. It comes across very authentic, you know? Not, like, rehearsed or, like, you've had this conversation with everybody. With a hundred people. Because you can kind of that, you know, if somebody walks up to you, you know, the whole like, oh, what's your tag say? Oh, made in heaven. Or, you know, like some of that like cheesy, like this is a scripted like thing that you've tried to do a hundred times. I do think the, especially if they're being shy and awkward and you can tell that's a reaction to you, that's really. Oh, that's flattering. Oh my gosh. That's like the most authentic you could be with somebody, right? Sure. Because then you're like, I just made this person lose their train of thought or like, Like, you know, like, that feels really good. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's it. I think being your authentic, vulnerable self in those situations will have the best outcome for you. Yes. And then I think the other good thing about the lifestyle is using your partners and your friends as wingmen. Yeah. And that's also a good, especially if you're a guy, because sometimes guys can't help. Guys have to tread lightly. Yeah. No matter who you are, you can be the nicest, most genuine guy. Sometimes you come across creepy. Yeah. if you go to direct. So, you know, using your wife or a friend as a buffer sometimes is good in that situation. But I got you. You got me? I usually don't, but I try. Yeah, I don't. You are not a good wingman for me. How many times have you hooked me up? What's this? What are those eyeballs? She's giving me the eyeball look. You've gotten laid a ton, a shit ton. But how many times has it been because you've gone up to a girl and said, oh, my husband. You're not lacking in the sex department. I do not. feel bad for you. Right. Okay. You're fine. So you're saying you don't do that kind of stuff because I don't I don't need it. It's what you're saying. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. So sad. Yeah. That's what he said. Anyway. But yeah I think I think that's some couples are very good at the. Oh. Running game together. Oh my God. It's like it's. Yeah. It's something to sit back and watch. Almost like. Too much. Almost like predatory. Like they're working like some kind of scheme together. Um, but then sometimes it's just like, just right. Yeah. So anyway, whatever works. Well, I think that line is, do you feel like they're running game or do you feel like it's authentic? You know what I mean? Yeah. And sometimes maybe they're running game and you feel like it's authentic, but in that case it doesn't matter. Some people just like getting it in. They just, they're there. They're having a blast. They are authentic. That's just who they are. Yeah. Um, so yeah. So anyway, I hope that helps answers. your question uh the bottom line is it's okay to be a little a little awkward sometimes it can be endearing yes uh and it really comes across super authentic and for us at least it's a big turn on so i hope that answers your question if you have a tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you a few different ways you can get a hold of us you can email us at the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail uh you can also send an audio file if you want to like record it four or five a dozen times so that you make sure you don't mess up. You can email us that audio file and we can play it that way. Or you can call or text us. And that phone number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. Okay. And we're running a little low on questions. So we'd love to hear from you. So please, if you're listening to this and you've had a question or maybe you just want to share a funny experience or maybe a lifestyle fail that, you know, something that you that is funny. It doesn't all have to be questions. We'd love to hear your story. Sometimes I think swinger stories are like some of the best thing about the lifestyle. Oh my god. That's my favorite. Like when you sit down and like tell me about the biggest shit show you've been a part of. That's some funny shit. And some people have great. I mean we have some good ones but there's some epic ones. So we thought you know if maybe you just have a story you want to tell us we'll listen to your story and we'll just talk about it a little bit and that could be a good Tuesday talk question or episode. So We've been definitely in the Dear Abby category here, I think, for a while now on Tuesday Talks. But people love it. Yeah, they do. People love it. We're here for y'all. Anyway, if you've got an idea, please email or call in. We'd love to hear from you. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners out there? I think that's it. I think that's it with that in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.