Tuesday Talks: Not as Experienced as Everyone Else? You’re Not Alone

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. A podcast by swingers for swingers. Where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and Lacey. Tuesday Talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note? That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. Tuesday talks. We are. Christmas edition. Yes. It's week of Christmas. It's not a Christmas question, though. No. And we have our Christmas shirts on. Yeah. We look Christmassy. I got one that says they're the naughty ones. Yeah. There's only one of one of me in here, though. Yeah. It's meant for two girls. Well. It's meant for your family. Your mom sent it to us. It's meant for the family. But I see what you did there. That work. It works that way, too. All right. Yeah. All right. With this week's question, we're actually going to take a text. We are. So this came in via text to the phone lines. Yeah. And you're going to read that for us. Yes. All right. Hi, Dan and Lacey. I have a Tuesday Talk question for you from my wife. Hi there. We love your podcast and Tuesday Talks and have listened for quite a while. We've even had the pleasure of meeting you two a couple of times on Bliss. Although we have attended several events in a local club a few times, we have actually played very little with others. My husband and I have been as a matter of fact I've only had sex with two men and a handful of women. My husband was my first. My question is how do we deal with feelings of inadequacy sexually and how am I viewed from the perspective of how much more sexually experienced and skilled people. I've had mixed reactions from people but mainly it seems like most don't want to take the time to go slow and have and give the reassurance and compliments that I would need to feel comfortable and confident. Thank you for what you do. Hope to meet you again in the upcoming events in 2026, which they sent a picture which really helped because we have met them several times and they are lovely. They're very sweet. I actually am pretty attracted to him. I think he's a cutie. I didn't look at her, but I would assume that I'm attracted to her. Yeah, they're a cute couple. I like them. They're really nice. And they always come up and speak and they're really nice people. All right. So to sum up her question, it sounds like they've been together since they were young. And they haven't had sex with many other people. Specifically, she has not. I think she's had two men and a handful of women. And so she's asking how that affects her in the lifestyle. And it sounds like... She's felt like... People don't want to take the time to, I guess, engage with her because of her inexperience. Yeah. Which, let me offer some reassurance to you first. So many people are like this. We have met so many people that have, like, their husband was the only person they had been with or maybe had been with, like, one or two people before they got married and then were in a marriage for 20-plus years. And so you're definitely not the only one in this situation, for sure. Actually, hearing that, I think the lifestyle is the perfect place for a couple like that. Yeah, for sure. Because, you know, my previous relationship, I got married at 19, and I did not have a lot of sex. And I think there was, you know, part of me almost was like, shit, I missed that. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I never really got to explore my sexuality. I never really got to get wild and crazy. You know, I got married at a very young age. And, you know, obviously that relationship didn't work out. But if you're in a happy relationship, but you just feel like you never really have got to. Like you missed out on that part. You're like, I never really got to explore that much sexually because we got married at such a young age. I could see a couple having a conversation about that and being like, yeah, I didn't either. Like, I love you. You love me. Let's go do it together. How fun would that be? Kind of jealous of that. No, I think these are all very valid questions. And I kind of have two different answers. Like, I kind of, because let me just say this. Let me just, like, rip the band-aid off. She's right. Not all people are going to be sweet and kind and want to give you all the things that sounds like you need to be with someone. Let's just be honest. Not everybody's going to do that. Well, yeah, I have mixed feelings. And that's okay. I don't think everybody is required to give you that. I mean, I think everybody's at a different level. And some people are sweet and kind and 100% are willing to, like, do all the things to make you feel comfortable. And other people are there just to have hot fucking sex. And they want to have hot sex and then move on. And a lot of times when people are newer in the lifestyle, it's not that simple for them. You have to take your time. you have to kind of build to it and even once it's done a lot of times they're in your room for like four or five hours after because they don't know how to like go yeah does that make sense i mean that in like the nicest way possible i feel like just like it's just it it's all brand new and they're not sure what to do no i agree i think new couples because we are trained in society that sex requires attachment um that there is some type of when somebody has sex with many people, they do get this kind of where they want to attach. And I think that's okay. I think it's completely normal for new couples to do that. I think it's completely normal for new couples if you don't have a lot of sexual experience to need to build chemistry, to be able to build trust before you engage with somebody. I think that's completely normal. So I agree with you. I think everything that she's saying is very normal. And I think there are people in the lifestyle that are willing to put in that, maybe what we would consider extra work, to have that kind of connection. And there are people that, specifically like you said, avoid newer couples because they don't want to put in that extra work. And I don't think that makes those couples bad. And she didn't say that, obviously, but just for the sake of the conversation, I don't think that makes those couples bad. I just think she's going to have to find the people that are willing to do that. So for my advice, and me and I have not spoke, so I don't know what your advice is, but I would say find another new couple. That would be somebody that also maybe hasn't had a lot of partners. And you can, like, especially like on a bliss cruise, because since we know they go on that, if you meet somebody early on or even make connections before you get, you know, you can search through profiles and find somebody that's similar, you know, and say, Hey, we're new. Y'all are new. We really would, you know, we require like getting to know you a little bit better, a little bit more connection. We're just not ready just to jump in the bed the first night. I think that might be a really good way to to find somebody kind of on your playing field if that makes sense what what I'm curious what your advice would be no I think is general advice to new couples I think they need to find one or two things right they need to find either what you're saying a couple that is also new that you can kind of battle buddy up with and kind of go on a journey with together and kind of take those initial first steps together right and so you're kind of exploring you're finding a couple that you know you connect and you're kind of exploring the lifestyle together with them. Another way of doing it is finding an experienced couple that you know and you trust and having them almost like be your tour guide and guiding you through the steps. Would you think it's easier to find a newer person or like a mentor? I guess I'm thinking like bliss because we know they go in that. I don't know. I think it would be hard to find like a mentor type. I feel like we've been that for several couples though over the years. Yeah, but it's happened organically, you know. Well, I'm not, I'm not sure you're saying they have to do it on like the next bliss cruise I'm just saying in general I think something like a bliss cruise is a great place for them because it is multiple days that gives them gives her opportunity to get to know somebody you know maybe a night or two and then you know move into playing so that way it's not so I don't know rushed you know or this might be an unpopular opinion rip that fucking band-aid off yeah no go plop yourself in the middle of a playroom and that you can have sex without emotions. I mean, that could be controversial for me to say. But the truth is, is that some of our friends, like I think of one in particular, what is their name? Farmer and Kay. They just went to their first club and had an experience. They were kind of similar situation. And I don't want to give away their whole story, but like they just jumped into the deep end and didn't look back. And that worked for them. I'm all for taking baby steps, but at some point you have to jump, you know? No, I agree. I agree. Does that make sense? And I'm not, and I'm not, because we all, we are very much for baby steps here. Like we talk about it a lot, but at some point you're just going to have to just be like. Well, it sounds like they've been in the lifestyle for a while, right? So it's not like they just joined last week. It sounds like, you know, they've been on multiple bliss crews. They've been to several parties. It sounds like they've been around for a while. So, you know, to what your point is, If you want to learn to swim, eventually you've got to go in the deep end. You can stay in the shallow end all day long every day, but eventually you're going to have to go in over your head to actually learn how to swim. And that might be something like they do to get, you know, like, okay, tonight or one night on the Bliss Cruise or local club or whatever it is, we're just going in, you know, whatever happens, happens. And sometimes, and personally for us, sometimes when you do that, it's you've ever had. You know, that like don't know anybody's name. You just go in, you have set, you just, and you leave and it's just, you leave it all there. There's a thrill to that. I'm not, I'm not going to deny that. Yeah. Now another take, like if you look at what she said, part of what maybe I read into this is she almost feels like because of her inner experience, people are avoiding her. Yeah. And, and I think what we read into that is it's an emotional thing that she needs to build that trust and and so she needs some kind of emotional connection to get to that sexual level and i think that's right i don't think it's just that she hasn't had much sex so people are like you're you're probably not good at sex i don't want to fuck you right to be honest with you i think she needs to be confident i think she's been having sex with her husband for how long she said she'd been married for 20 years she's had a lot of fucking sex just because you haven't had a lot of different partners doesn't mean that you are less than you know like you need to know what you're good at. You need to, you know, everybody's got that thing. Think of what is your favorite position, your favorite move, and just own it. You have to like, you can't rely on other people to build you up and make, you've got to kind of know what you're bringing to the table. I'm going to be honest. I don't personally think that I am the best at sex. You know, even though I have an OnlyFans where I fuck all the time. Like, I don't, I don't think that I am. You're a semi-pro porn star. Yeah, I am a bend over and take it type of gal. You know, like, I also don't feel But you know what? I'm still a fucking good time. Yeah. And I still have a lot of fun. And I've never, you know, and even though I'm been 90% of the time I'm bending over and taking it, I don't feel like I'm like less good at sex than you're at. You know what I mean? So like, I feel like she needs to like know what she brings to the table and own it. Yeah. No. So why I brought up the, you know, her saying that she doesn't have much sexual experience and maybe that's, she feels like that. I think it is a confidence thing. I think in this lifestyle, specifically for a female, you can have as much or as little sex as you want. And if you feel like you're not getting enough, it's probably because it's more of a you thing. You're not asking for it, or you're not engaging, or you think you're putting barriers there that probably are in your head and not actually there. But I promise you, there are guys at every single event that want to fuck you, and if given the opportunity, would totally do it. They don't care how much sex you've had, how little sex you've had. Guys are just happy to have sex. Guys will let you bend over and let them just... I mean, guys are never going to say that's bad sex. I've never heard a guy say... Unless it's like a hygiene issue or something like crazy. For the most part, every experience is a good experience. Yeah, everybody's just happy to be there. From the male perspective. There was something else I was going to say about that. Well, she said she gets mixed reactions from people. I wonder, is she telling people that? Because like, I guess that's my question. I'm all for being like honest. You know, like if you're nervous or having, you know, whatever the case, I'm all for being like, hey, I'm new. This is my first time. I'm a little nervous. I'm all for that. But I guess I'm wondering how people know that you don't. They must be putting it out. Yeah, they must be putting it out, which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing. But I would lead with, hey, I'm super inexperienced and I'm probably not going to be very good you know i mean i well we've seen we've seen people lead with that kind of stuff like guys lead with hey just so you know i have a small dick and i come quick yeah like that's the first they just say that's you out of the blue before you really even talk to them and it's like whoa yeah you know like so i think there is a a way to tell somebody hey we're newer you know i don't have much experience without maybe coming right out the gate like shooting yourself in the foot yeah because the truth and i don't think it's a bad thing from my perspective um i like newer couples yeah i like new girls that haven't had a lot of sex because I feel like I have superpowers, right? I know that I'm going to do things that if you haven't had a lot of sex that you probably haven't experienced and it's seeing you react to those things or seeing you, you know, if you've only had sex with one or two guys, I don't even have to be that good. Just you having sex with a third new guy is going to be exciting to you. So I don't even have to be that good to look like I'm a rock star. You know what I mean? So I really feed off somebody that's new in the lifestyle and hasn't had a lot of encounters. The thrill and the excitement that they get from having sex with somebody new. I feed off that energy and I love that energy. And so I view that as a positive thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think for girls, especially you can get away with that because a lot of guys love that role. They like to be. There's a lot of guys that are a little bit more dominant and they have no issues kind of taking the reins and putting you how they want you and doing, you know, all the things. I think that's a very easy like kind of space to be in for a female. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you're newer to this and you don't know. Oh, come here. Let me show you. Let me show you how to do it. Let me show you how to take that dick. Yeah. I'm all about that. Yeah. So, I mean, I feel like our answers are kind of all over the place. But I think, you know, I think it's a lot of good information for sure. Well, the truth is there's no right answer, right? So, we kind of laid out several different paths for her. So, one is find a couple that's also new, go on this journey together with them. Another answer is rip the Band-Aid off and just jump into the the deep end and start swimming. Another answer, you know, I think going into the, this is probably not as big of an issue as you think it is. You've probably built this up a little bit in your own mind. Which I can get. In general, lifestyle, males specifically, but even couples, they don't really care how much experience you, they just, we're all here to have a good time, right? And so nobody's really judging you. It's probably you kind of getting in your own way and getting in your own head about it. And you're probably making it into a bigger deal in your own mind than what it actually is. to everybody else, which is what we all do. Yeah, we all do it. I'm the queen of it. Right. So no hard answers, but I hope the conversation at least helps you. Yeah. Have some more experiences if that's what you want in the future. Yeah, for sure. All right. So I hope that answers this question. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get ahold of us. You can email us at the swing nation at gmail.com. Or you can call or text. And that phone number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. We could definitely use some more questions. I also was just looking through. I haven't got back to a lot of people. So there's been a lot of people texting us. Yeah. Sending us dirty photos. And I have not responded. So I'm going to put that on my to-do list to go through and respond to all you. Yeah. So if you're thinking about texting us, now's a good time because I'm about to go through. and talk to everybody. You're going to tell everybody Merry Christmas? Merry Christmas. Here's Lacey's vagina. Whoa. You know. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Here's some new pictures. Maybe not the vagina. Let's be a little classier. Just boobs. I got some good Christmas boob pictures I could send out. That would be a nice thing to do. Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'll do that. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? Well, I was going to mention our first hotel takeover with Electric Pleasures is coming up in January. So like right at a month away. It's January 23rd and 24th in Gulf Breeze, Florida. We are completely sold out, which yay. Thank you all for making our first Hotel Takeover sell out. Almost a month and a half, almost two months ahead of time. We do have day passes and the Overflow Hotel is literally in the same parking lot. It's like you walk across the parking lot. I could not believe how close it was. If you were on the fence about wanting to go, there's definitely options. for you. So you can still be a part of the very first Electric Pleasures Hotel Takeover. Maybe you were being hesitant, right? Because you're like, this is a new brand that Dan and Lacey are kind of launching. I don't know if it's going to. It's sold out, right? So it's going to be. It's already going to be a banger party. It's sold out. So you might as well jump on the bandwagon and come party with us. And let me be honest. I did not go and tour the hotel with Dan originally. I can't remember why I couldn't go. But when he told me Florida in January, I was like, you're fucking crazy. And that's kind of our relationship. Dan dreams it up and I think he's crazy and it usually is successful he's usually right and I have to you know eat my words well we went to Florida on Sunday this is where so yesterday that we're recording this on Monday like so three days ago as you listen to this if you listen to it when it goes live it was 80 degrees and the property y'all is so pretty I mean it's right on the water this we were there at sunset it was so There's a nice Italian restaurant on property. There's an outdoor bar. There's seating. There's nice landscaping. It gives secrets vibes, but an ocean instead of, or is it on the bay? I don't know. It's on the bay side, I think, but it's on the water. Yeah. It's got a little private, beautiful beach. But yeah, it has a little beach and everything with sand and everything. So I was sold and pleasantly surprised. And I, if you've been around for any time, you know I'm a hard one to please. So I was pretty impressed. And now I'm very excited. And I hope the weather stays warm. Right. So go get those day passes. I, you know, I might eat these words, but I'm not going to be surprised if that overflow hotel sells out. Yeah. Right. It's not a very big hotel. So in the way you get the information for the overflow hotel is when you book the day passes, we send you the booking information for the overflow hotel. So go get your day passes. you'll get the overflow hotel information book that it'll basically be the same as if you're on property or you're literally across the parking lot it's so close and come party with us at our first electric pleasures we're super excited we had a lot of big things in store i think it's going to be this is going to be something like different right it's not it's not the same old hotel takeover um it's going to be something different we've we put a lot of time and energy into it um i'm excited to let everybody see what this brand is going to be because i think it's i think it's going to impress a lot of people. Yeah, I think so. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? No, that's it. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, we have a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.