Tuesday Talks: Navigating the Lifestyle as a Straight Woman

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and Lacey. Tuesday Talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note? Perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And today, we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. We are. Tuesday. With Dan and Lizzie. I was talking to our audio guy. He's our friend. He's a friend. Yeah. And our audio guy. Well, he's volunteering. I think we're getting close on a Tuesday talk jingle. I'm ready. I'm ready, too. All right. So today's Tuesday talk question comes from across the puddle. Really? From down under, if you will. Is it across the pond or is it puddle? Pond Buckle Up. My husband and I have only been in the lifestyle for a short time and already I feel like I'm struggling to find my place. I'm straight and my husband and I play together and swap with other couples or play in group situations. He's straight too. It just seems like most of the couples that we have been meeting are in the lifestyle because the women have initiated it. which is great for them, but not for me. I did all of that exploring in my 20s and I can safely say I love men. I love flirting with them. I love everything about them. What I'm finding though is that the men can be really lazy, whether it's at meet and greet events or clubs, even on group chats with other couples. My husband, on the other hand, is a great flirt and he's really active on the group chats, which the women love. their wives are going to get jealous if they pay attention to me, or am I just unlucky? I guess I just want to know if there is any hope of me feeling desired and pursued by men in the lifestyle. Thanks, guys. And if you ever come down under, hit us up. Her voice is super sexy. And she's also gorgeous. She sent us a picture. She did attach a photo. She is very, very pretty. And I, you know, her question was, is there any chance of men paying her attention in the lifestyle? Well, there's like two. I'm shocked that that's not happening. Yeah, so her question is really two parts. So I think we should talk about her being straight first. And then I think we should also talk about the messaging. Because I think those are two separate things. I think we could probably pull three or four questions out of that. But yes, I agree. All right, so let's start. That's what I heard. So the crux of her, the first part of her question is she is a straight female. And so what she's found when going to these events is a lot of the females are bi and kind of have found their way to the lifestyle with the intention of exploring that. Yeah. So that doesn't work for her. Well, and I kind of want to comment on this, because I do get a lot of criticism. Well, not a lot. People talk shit, basically, and say that I'm not really bi. And the truth is, is I'm, like, not bi, but I'm not straight. If that makes sense, I'm somewhere in the middle. Like, I am not eager to, like, play with women. Like, I don't, I am straight. Like, what, like, I want the You know, like, at the end of the day, I want a dick. Now, if a beautiful female walks in, I can 100% appreciate her, be into her, want to kiss her, want to rub all over her soft body, and would even be willing to go down and vice versa. Like, that is a very minority situation for me. Like, I'm not just, like, salivating at every woman that walks in. And I think that goes for bi men and bi females. I think when you say you're bisexual, that people think that means you are into every person of the same sex. And that's, to me, that's not the case. That's why I don't like bi-selective language, because shouldn't we all be selective? Like, I'm not straight selective. I mean, like, I still have to be attracted to a man to fuck him. It doesn't, just because he has a dick, mean I want to fuck him. So that's why I personally don't like bi-selective, because we should all be selective, right? I agree, 100%. Nobody ever uses the term straight selective. Yeah. But, you know, but also, Also, there are some people that are like Dan and would like to fuck 80% of the women in the room. And then there are other men that might only fuck 10% of the men in the room. Yeah, but you're still selective, you know, because you're not fucking 100% of them. So I think that's important for me to say before I answer this. So because of that, I really don't engage with women very often, especially in like a natural place setting. A lot of my engagement tends to be for like OnlyFans and stuff like that. But that doesn't mean to say we have totally hit it off with couples and I've been totally into the girl and enjoy female to female especially receiving hey I'm always down for receiving I think it's just the range of females that you are attracted to is smaller is a lot smaller than the range of males you're attracted to so I can kind of relate to her on a lot of ways because I don't do a lot of female to female engagement and honestly when we are looking to swap with couples that's not really at our forefront either where there she is correct there is a lot of a lot of women that want to join the lifestyle because they want to play with other women and it's kind of like an easy in for the husband it kind of like he's like fuck yeah i get to fuck these women too so it kind of is like a win-win scenario yeah so it works um but i i personally have never found that like we don't have we don't make we don't find good matches because i'm not super bisexual do you agree with that correct now i do think if you were you know It's hard for me to think what life was like before the podcast, before all these friends. It's hard for me to remember back to the beginning times and how it was. But I do know that new couples coming into the lifestyle do do that for female bisexuality. And that does tend to be, I can remember back to having group play in the beginning and people being like, oh, why don't all the girls get on the bed and get started first? Well, I think when you're new or if you're nervous, That's an easier way of throwing, you know, like, girls, y'all start. You know, so the guys, which now we don't do that. We usually just start with our partner and then work our way out. Because I have gotten on to you so many times, I don't like it when you do that. Because I'm like, hey, what did, you don't know that I want to play with everybody. So me and you have had conversations. So now we just start with our partners. But I think there's a lot of couples that the woman is straight. It's, I do get the popular, like, the most of the women are bisexual. But there are still some. And I think most women are okay if you say, you know, like, and it sounds like she's not afraid of girls. She sounds kind of like me where she's been down that road. She just likes the dick better. And I get that. And so maybe, like, some light touching, maybe some kissing might be okay. But maybe, and I think that's okay to say. I don't mind touching. I don't mind kissing. But at the end of the day, I'm here to get fucked. Yeah, no, I think it's perfectly... And I think she's just had bad luck, don't you think? I mean, what do you... Yeah, I do think. So I think that leads us to the second part of this question, right? So then she goes on after talking about being a straight female to talk about how she's noticed in group chats and at events and things like that, that the men seem to kind of take a back seat and the females are kind of leading. Well, and I think in the lifestyle events, think that the females lead. And we and you were kind of talking about this before we started. And why do you think that? I want you to explain why you think that is. I would make an argument that that's the best practice. Yeah. That in lifestyle settings, in sexually charged environments, men are often viewed threatening. Yeah. And because men don't want to come across that way, they don't want to come across threatening. They don't want to come across pushy. They don't want to come across creepy. So me and I know a lot of other men will kind of almost step back and let the females initiate because it seems like it's a safer way to engage with other couples if you approach a female and say and say to her oh my husband really thinks you're beautiful that's way better than me coming up and be like oh hey babe you're such a hottie you know like yeah and so i think we kind of almost train ourselves to do that well and they've always i've always heard that like women run the lifestyle you know like think like on the surface especially people that are not in the lifestyle think that this is like a man's world that all these men have convinced their wives to be a part of this. When truly, it's the women kind of running the show. And I don't think you realize that until you get in it. And I think this is an example of that. I also think she talked about the texting. And in my opinion, there is always one better texter in a couple. There's one that's more socially active. There's one that maybe has a lighter job where they can text throughout the day. I think and I found sometimes it's the husband and sometimes the man and maybe in her case she's just found ones that it's more of the husband but like in our the women oh yeah the more of the women yeah more of the women like in our case it depends sometimes I'm really chatty and then sometimes I'm not at all and we found that with other couples too so I think I think she has bad luck well I think it does have to do with your scenario so if I think back like when I was retiring out of the military. I was very active in the chats and stuff because, you know, I had a few appointments to go to. I was, you know, but I didn't have a busy nine to five work life. I had a lot of free time. Yeah. Nowadays, where we're running four businesses and planning events and running social media and editing and posting, and I do a majority of that, I just don't have time to get into some of these group chats and talk to people. And it's not that I don't think the girls in there are sexy. It's not that I don't want to fuck them. It's not that I don't want to sense, you know, naked Snapchat, back and forth and see their boobs and their titties and all the things. I love all that. It's just that I get absorbed in work and other things and don't really have the time. But honestly, even if we're like both at home doing nothing, one of us is always going to be the better messenger. I mean, or texter or whatever. But what I'm saying is I think if you go back four years, it was probably me. Yeah. I think nowadays it's probably you. Yeah, it is. And it's not that my interest level has changed at all. It's that my work life schedule has changed. Yeah. But it also can be like sometimes, We talked about this before on the podcast. You could be at home done with your work day and you decide to message all of our friends. But I'm at the grocery store and I'm like, this motherfucker is texting everybody. So I'm not super active and slightly annoyed because I'm out doing stuff and you're at home. So I don't know. I think maybe what advice should we have? We've talked around her question. So now I guess we need to give her advice because I feel like we're all over the place. Is it okay that she's not bisexual? Absolutely. 100% it's okay. There's plenty of couples in the lifestyle that are still very much willing to engage with you even though you're not bisexual. I think it maybe limits your pool a little bit, right? Because anytime we add on some kind of additional descripting factor, it's going to limit your pool. So there are some couples where maybe the wife wants to be involved or feel involved. So she doesn't want to play with a female that's pure straight. So it's going to limit you a little bit. But I think there's still plenty of people out there that will engage with a straight, straight couple. We would be one of those couples. Yeah. And of course, we don't know the swingers scene in Australia. We don't. But here in the US, there is plenty of people that are still willing to swing. Especially in a group setting. It's perfect for that. Yeah. And maybe she's playing like on a two, maybe they're trying to do like couple swap. And that maybe that's where, you know, like maybe the girls start kind of. And we tend to do more orgy style play for these very reasons. So that way, if there needs, if girls want to interact, they can. You know, if I want to jump in, I can if I don't, I don't have to. And so that's partially why we love that setting. Right. So I think you just got to, in that aspect, you just got to find your crew that you can kind of, that you'll fit in with. Yeah. And she said she's newer. It took us a while to find like a group of solid friends that we traveled with and did stuff with. And I don't know if that's your goal because some people don't want that. You know, some people just want to have sex with somebody a whole time and then move on to, you know, not have that bond and stuff like that. It could take you up to like a year or more to really find, you know, of going to events, going to different parties, trying different things to really find where you fit in. Yeah. And I know like I'm assuming they're a full swap. Yeah. She said same room. Same room. I mean, like if you are really having trouble, maybe like hot wife situations where your husband is there, maybe do an MFM with your husband and then maybe, you know, I mean, the other way around would be like your husband and two women, but you could. Yeah, but she doesn't have to engage with the other woman. We've had you and two girls, and I'm not engaged with the other girls. So you might have to get creative here. If you really want to be in the lifestyle and you really want to make this happen, you're just going to have to work around it and find ways to do it. I don't know. The way she's described her play, I think she would be better finding a community. I agree, but I'm giving her options. Okay, okay. That is a good option. Okay, then another thing I want to touch on. Okay, so that kind of answers the Can you be straight? Right? And then the other question is, what about lazy guys, guys that aren't texting? Do people just not find me attractive? All right. We saw your picture. You're gorgeous. It's not that. So forget about that. Well, she did mention, like, are the wives concerned? Like, if she give, the husband gives her. That is a real thing. That is a valid point. Yeah. And there is, you know, everybody wants to be a hot girl, but there are downsides to being a hot girl. And I'll say, you know, we've been to events, we've been to parties, and sometimes I see that that she's like the supermodel. And I almost won't even waste my time because I'm like, that girl is outside of my, you know what I mean? That's a further shot than I'm willing to take. She's outside of my purview. I'm just not even going to waste my time. So there's probably some of that where people just see her and they're like, oh, she's way too hot for me. I'm not even going to try to approach her because why would you do that? That's stupid. You know what I mean? Or on the other side of that, the husbands could see her and be like, oh, you know, I want to fuck her. But if I give her too much attention, my wife's going to stab me. Yeah. And that's a real thing. And that's okay, too. Yeah, that's okay. And that's actually kind of sweet that in a fucked up way that he's, like, protecting the wife. So I guess, like, what can she do to kind of, like, work around that? Maybe ask questions, like, directly. Because, like, you're looking at me like I'm crazy. But, you know, like, how can she make this, like, better for her? I'm thinking. So you're saying how can she have connection with males? Yeah, I mean, is there a way for her to, like, make it better, make a better situation? And I think... Again, I think, you know, she's saying she's new to the lifestyle. I think you have to build those relationships, right? I can see if a hot girl walks into a room, even you, Lacey, sometimes when you see a really hot girl, you're like, and you see me kind of getting googly eyes, you're kind of like, Dan, I don't feel comfortable or like too much or, you know, like calm down. But on the flip side, if you see me with a guy that I'm super into, it... I like that, though. Maybe a little. There might be a... of jealousy. You're a liar. But there are times. You're a liar. I can think of times where I've seen you with a guy and I can tell you're like googly eyed over it. And part of me thinks like I'm happy for you because you don't get that a lot. Yeah. And so there. But yes. Sure. There is probably some underlying jealousy there as well. Yeah. And I'm sure that's the truth for most couples. Yeah. But what I'm saying is once you get to know this beautiful girl. Yeah. And you realize how sweet and kind she is and that she's not a threat. Yeah. We as a couple get much more comfortable. Correct. Bringing her in. Correct. And talking to her. So it's like. That initial barrier. You have to break through. And say. Hey I'm Aussie girl. And I'm actually a nice girl. I'm not trying to steal your husband. I'm happily married. I'm just here for a good time. Yeah. And once people kind of. Get that. Yeah. Then you're. A lot more people are going to open up to you. But there is that initial barrier. This is just a hot chick. That might be a threat to people. Yeah. No I agree. I was thinking like. She could ask some like direct questions. Like. What the problem though. Is if she goes. Right. If. So this is a scenario. Right. Aussie girl walks in. No. I'm talking about texting okay yeah there's that but what I'm saying is Aussie girl walks in super hot girl I am start drooling over you look at me and like Dan calm down and so I'm like okay I pull myself back a little bit and then she just walks up to me and starts flirting with me that's not a good situation you know I mean like you just put me in a super awkward like yeah oh man now I know my wife's already has a little bit of jealousy about you and now you're coming up and you're approaching me I'm gonna like run away because I'm afraid of my wife you know I mean but it's a little I'm being a little over exaggerated you know I'm about to say But you get what I'm saying, right? So she almost needs to get to know you. If she's into me, she needs to talk to you, get you comfortable, and then we're going to be able to flip. But really, it doesn't matter what you look like. That should be what we're doing. This is true for everybody. I think it is maybe, you know, more true in some situations. Yeah, no, we should always be doing this in every situation. It's exaggerated maybe in some of these situations. Yeah, but I think when there's like a threat because of that, I definitely think you have to. And it's not even really a threat. It's just that's how, that's human nature. to perceive things that way. Well, it's how we've been programmed. We all look at people and we do like a, you know, threat assessment. Like, hey, is this person going to steal my partner? And what's how likely? And could I beat him up in a fight? You know, like we just all do that. It just happens. We don't mean to, but it's part of interacting. And really, it's the job of getting to know each other and communicating to where you kind of can drop those barriers. And that's the key to the lifestyle. I'm glad you're here because I was going to tell her to like text like a husband and be like. Sliding through his DMs on the side. No. Yeah, that's a good way to get stabbed. Not on the side. Let me like. I don't think going, I think if she sees a husband she's attracted to, befriend that wife. I love you and you, that is, you nailed it. I would have given her bad advice. I think that's. This is why we're a duo. That's the best way. Ladies, if you see a man you want to fuck, become best friends with their wife. Okay. Noted. Right. All these bitches are going to be nice to me now because I'm going to fuck you. Well, I hope so. So I think that's the advice for them. that. And then as far as the, you know, people not approaching or chatting to her, are they not into her, that's your own insecurities speaking out. Which is, it's funny to see a picture of somebody like her and see how beautiful she is. And then hear her, like you can kind of hear her expressing insecurities. And you're like, why do you feel that way? You know what I mean? But we all do. So I get it. I'm the opposite. I don't like to text a whole lot. I don't have time. I just want to show up and let's just like fuck and have a great time. Lacey's like, come dance with me on the dance floor, make out with me a little bit, get me horny, then take me and fuck me. Yeah. And then I'll see you at the next event. Yeah, basically. Maybe send, you know, we'll chat once in a while. Yeah, I don't mind chatting. Send a picture next time you're in the shower. Yeah, I don't mind chatting occasionally. I just don't know. We have way too fucking many friends to be having all these chats all day long. I would be exhausted. So, yeah. I think we nailed it. Yeah. Right? Thanks to you, babe. You're welcome. Yeah. Hopefully that helps give you a little perceptive. We totally watched that and went wrong. But I think there's a lot of truth in there. They'll tell us. Tell us how it goes from here. And come out to an event. Come on a bliss cruise. We see a lot of Australians on bliss cruises. Hedo is another good place. Sometimes breaking out of your local scene and going to some of those bigger events. Sometimes it's hard to find your tribe. I really think the success in this lifestyle is being able to find a group of people that you can connect with. That you have shared similarities, attractive. to you enjoy doing the same things the same music it's really a building block for sexy orgies and fun I agree all right if you have a Tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you there's a few different ways you can get a hold of us you can email us at the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail.com she actually emailed us an audio file yeah which was nice yeah so you can do that or you and that's a good way to protect your phone number or two as well if you're not comfortable. I mean, we don't have enough hours. We're never going to share it, but people are weird about that stuff. Well, I get it, but we don't have enough hours in the day to track you down. Yeah. Okay. Or you can call and text and that phone number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. And we would love to hear from you and answer your Tuesday Talk question right here on the Swing Nation podcast. It's wonderful. Tuesday Talks is one of my favorite. I enjoy these episodes probably the most. You know, instead of having to try to remember what we were doing when I was drunk. Yeah. In New Orleans or something. Although those are, I like sharing those stories. Yeah, they are fun stories. All right. So stay tuned. And I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time Good-bye.