Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks – Managing Anxiety in the Lifestyle| Episode 51In this Tuesday Talks episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy tackle an important and often overlooked topic in the lifestyle—anxiety. Caller David and his partner, Random Girl, reach out to ask how Lacy manages her anxiety while navigating non-monogamy and how Dan supports her through it.Lacy gets real about her personal experiences, sharing the challenges, coping strategies, and mindset shifts that have helped her embrace the lifestyle with more confidence. Dan offers his perspective on being a supportive partner, communicating through anxious moments, and creating a safe space for both partners to thrive.Whether you’ve dealt with lifestyle-related anxiety yourself or want to learn how to better support a partner who does, this episode is packed with honest insights, practical advice, and real talk about the emotional side of swinging.Have a question for Dan Lacy? Call in and be part of the next Tuesday Talks!- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers. We'll be right back. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, Speaker1: interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with Speaker2: us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your host northern guy and southern girl and today we are back with another rendition of tuesday talk we are talking tuesday yeah it's for wendy she loves it she loves it oh does she yeah remember oh yeah she loves it when we do that i love it too it's just for wendy yeah you don't love it you always you make fun of me every time no i don't okay um you have no idea what this i was in the back working my little booty off okay well are you ready for this week's tuesday talk question all right let's go to the phone line hi dan and lacy this is dns atx i'm david and i'm random girl if y'all can remember when that was it was very great to meet y'all that night we have a question for talk tuesday we were wondering stephanie has got um some anxiety and we heard your podcast about anxiety We were wondering how you cope with it or how Dan helps you or what are some of the things that you are looking into to better help yourself and maybe other people in the swing nation. So once again, very great to meet y'all that night and we hope to hear how this works out. Thank you. Speaker1: Thank you. Speaker3: Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Have a great day. Yeah, so a question from, was it David and Stephanie? Yeah. Where did we meet them? Slash random girl. Yeah, he said her name was Stephanie. Where did we meet them at? That sounds, I can remember somebody telling me their name was random girl, but i cannot place where it was well i think i think she's saying her name is random girl because i think we referred to her as random girl we did on the podcast so when was the last time we referred to somebody as that random girl on the podcast oh yes um dallas yeah she was a random girl that oh i feel bad yeah that was not a bad thing to call her yeah well the funny thing is i i listened to this recording yeah and i was like not stumped but i'm like no you did better than i did i was like who is this and then i'm like i think it's this couple yeah i know exactly who it is now and then actually they messaged us on yes on the swinger society so i went and confirmed that that was the name the username they say is their username okay cool yes so it is indeed i was i did recognize so you don't remember dan basically like fucked her in a playroom like rant we say random girl because she was just like some random girl that just happened to be there did we talk to them at all We said hi, right? We did. Because remember they said they got their outfits at like Party City on the way there? I do remember that conversation. Yeah. So we had a little conversation with them prior to the plane. Because they were like, we just decided we were coming. Maybe they were there for work. It sounded like they're from Atlanta maybe or ish. No, they're from, not Atlanta, Houston. Oh, okay. I thought I heard Atlanta. No, Atlanta. Or no, Austin. Austin. Oh, okay. So, um, but yeah, they were not, they weren't planning on coming and decided last night because they went to Party City because they were like, everything was happening for South. They had good outfits though. Yeah, they, they pulled it off. That's what I said. I remember telling them, you did a really good job for Party City on the way here. Yeah. Okay. Wow. This, this question like kind of made me tear up just because i'm having like a rough day you know and i don't know why but it like made me like a little emotional thinking about anxiety no just like life i don't know like life is really crazy right now and i feel like anyway it's like a whole nother story for another day but so because i'm like barely holding it together and then somebody like basically like pausing to ask like me how i get through it and how you know even though it's not about i'm not upset because i'm anxious anyway i'm rambling but you know what i mean i'm just having a rough day gotcha okay so to talk about your emotions or your feelings you're saying yeah yeah it's kind of a little little triggering but not in a bad way I'm just life is just kicking my ass okay so let's talk about what do I do um I noticed since like Christmas my anxiety around like my outfits and stuff like that leading up like the my my appearance has really been worse lately honestly because I feel like I've put a little weight on and so I'm putting pressure on myself and it's kind of been like this journey I also feel like my parents have been more they require more of us where before you know my like main thing I thought about was what I was going to wear the next winger of it. So I was like trying things on and I was doing seven now because life is just hard. I'm like throwing things together. Yeah. I order something. It comes in. I put it on for a second. Okay. It zips. It looks okay. That'll work. And then I put in the basket and then I open it back up the night of the event and put it on. And then like the last few times I've like hated my outfit. I've hated the pictures like after I saw, which all that does is just caused me to have anxiety for the next event because I'm like, oh, I don't want to look like that. Like I don't want to be unhappy when I see a picture of myself. I also am like working on on men like personally i'm working on being okay with whatever body i'm in at that point i'm like i've talked about this a little bit on some of the podcasts but like i'm 40 at what point do we give ourselves just a fucking break you know like at what point enough is enough and we should just be happy with whatever well i think that's important i think we need important. So I think we need to pause for a second, right? So they're asking, you know, they say they acknowledge that you've mentioned that you deal with anxiety or that you struggle with anxiety. And they're kind of asking some of the ways you cope with it. But I think overarching, just to address that, this is something I think everybody, and specifically females, but I tend to notice it more, but I think everybody struggles with in the within the lifestyle right so everybody in the lifestyle has insecurities yeah everybody there's something about everybody's body or something about the way they look that everybody you can self-critique yourself correct to death correct and this it doesn't go away and it could even be like for guys it could be like performance so the two things i notice with guys more than anything else is height in their in their dick size or if it can get hard it seems to be the two issue then i think part of it then yeah worried about their performance and like women it's probably like our appearance uh are people gonna wanna you know stuff like around yeah weight i think that kind of can be lumped in in appearance so i think everyone struggles i think I think overall the lifestyle is very accepting. I've talked about this on the podcast. People have wanted to fuck me at my biggest and at my smallest. So me going into a swinger event, I'm not worried about that. Let's just make that clear. I know that I'm going to be desired and wanted and I know I'm going to have a good time. But on a personal level, I am working towards acceptance of my body regardless of the size. And that is something that I'm really this year trying to focus on. Up until like the last few weeks, I had not weighed myself because I was like, the scale doesn't matter. It shouldn't like put me in a good mood or a bad mood. I should be happy with the body but now i but i sound like a damn oxymoron because now i am i've noticed that the last few events i've been a little heavier and i don't feel comfortable in my skin so like i'm trying to balance that uh because i'm not taking care of myself because i'm stretched too thin that's the the truth. So I'm trying to balance the I feel confident in the skin. I love who I am. I love my body and thank my body for, you know, being healthy and making me be able to go to this event, but also feeling sexy and confident in what I have on.
Speaker1:
So that's where I am. Well, I think that's everything you just said is kind of key to this whole anxiety thing is i think something that you have done or recently is you realize this is a self-imposed thing right you realize just that this that when i get anxious or i struggle with anxiety about my outfit or my body or the way i look that it's not it's not that i'm not making you sexy. It's not that other people don't think you're sexy. This is a, I have security insecurities that I need to deal with on my own. Correct. I think that's step one. And then step two is realizing, I think part of that journey is then saying, there's no nothing, there's no magic wand, right? I can't go get a surgery. There is a magic wand. I can't go get a butt lift. I'm not going to go get a tummy tuck and then magically being fixed. Now those things might help in the way you, your self image, but they're, they're also probably going to create other issues that then that if you are a person that just struggles with insecurities, they're going to trigger other insecurities within yourself. So I am on a journey to find that happy medium between being accepting of myself and confident in the body i am and it's funny that we this topic is brought up tara who is a good friend of ours who we work closely with she helps with our only fans something that she texted me this morning somebody commented on one of her i think it's a video of her and i and basically like my wife won't go to swing your events because everybody looks like models and she doesn't feel comfortable. Basically implying that Tara and I look like models and it's our fault that his wife won't go because she feels insecure. But last night on one of my videos, somebody said I had saggy titties. And I remember telling you, I said, oh, that's it. I've got to get my boobs done because somebody on TikTok said my titties were saggy. So I'm also I don't want to say, oh, because I'm in the spotlight, I have a different standard to uphold. But also I'm getting conflicting information there that also fucks with your head, too. So like all of this to being said, I think that's, I think all that is very important moving forward. So I am trying, I am working on being more comfortable in my skin. I'm doing some like I'm I want to lose a little weight I want to be healthier um so I'm doing things that's why I'm weighing myself now I'm trying um I'm doing no Dr. Peppers except for one a day you know I'm trying to do things that I know will set me up for success. Like, for instance, I feel more confident when I tan. And so you and I just had this conversation at the house. I was like, hey, I went to the tanning bed today. And you were like, oh, you went without me. And I was like, listen, if I'm a little heavier, but I'm tanned, I feel more confident, you know? And so you're better off just letting me go tan, even if you're not there, because I'm going to be more confident at secrets. And then in the long run, that's going to like help you. So I'm doing things. We have secrets and we leave two weeks from today. So I feel like it's like crunch time. You know, I've been working, but now it's like the last little bit. So I'm tanning. I am, I am, you know, eating better. I'm trying to be healthier overall. I've also learned in the last like six months, there's parts of my body that I'm a little insecure about. So I've been like dressing my body, not just wearing whatever is cute. You know, does that make sense what I'm saying? Like two piece, like I'm a little insecure about my tummy and two pieces are adorable. And I love two pieces, but I know I feel more confident if I wear something that like covers it or is like higher waisted. So dressing my, like setting myself up for success at the event. So doing all of these to feel good and if I feel good I tend to have less anxiety also another thing that I think I can that I'm doing or have done is I communicate with you how I'm feeling and that's something that we've learned throughout the years would you would you say like if or in you recognizing that I'm struggling and and like hey i see you're struggling is this okay is you know are you are you okay what can i do to help you well no i think that's important so i think just realizing that anxiety is a thing it's going to always exist no matter if you're the skinniest hottest supermodel or you know if whatever your body type is it's all uh this is a you thing right it may not even be a body type thing that's causing you anxiety it might be one of the other things that you know stretch marks scars you know it could be your teeth there's a million different things that you could be insecure about so yeah it's not just your body but overall body image uh but yeah as far as this happens right so we're getting ready to go to the club at night lacy puts on an outfit and i can just tell you know by her demeanor that she is that this is a triggering event for her that she's starting to deal with her own anxiety about her outfits and stuff like that and so what i found that helps is just speaking that into existence saying baby i can i can tell you're anxious right now right there's like and sometimes she maybe she'll snap at me and be like oh if i had your fault because we didn't you didn't give me enough time to get ready or you know like this is what married couples do like they try to blame each other for things and so i'll just speaking like i can tell right now like you're dealing with anxiety take some deep breaths you look beautiful what do you know what do you need you want a different outfit you need to you know new shoe like you change your shoes do i need to or like even not making me feel not rushed it's helpful like i'll sit down or hey i gotta take a poop i'll go in here and you got plenty of time you know just something to like sometimes i just need to walk away and not yeah because i feel like if he's ready and he's standing there waiting for me to walk out the door that kind of creates like a panic in me so all of those things are super helpful um and i'm also trying you know i've tried on my outfits like six times already and we still have two weeks and to be honest with you i ordered like six outfits from amazon babe don't get mad at me i have a huge amazon return because i know amazon's super easy to. So I'd rather like have three or four things, get the right one. And then, cause like as soon as I return it, they credit our card back like immediately. So it's not that big of a deal. So I've definitely stopped. I'm really trying out. I don't know if it's going to work. Time will tell and I will come back and give you an answer. But you know know, I'm just trying to, like, pre-plan for all the things that have made me insecure, anxious, whatever you say, leading up to the last few events. I've really taken those into consideration and have tried to, like, pre-plan to not hit those. Yeah, yeah. That's the only thing I know to do, honestly. And I think with time, hopefully the more I practice this self-love, the more I practice just loving who I am and my body, I think that hopefully this will get easier. But we're coming into our busy season, like after this, then we have Bliss Cruise and it just... Hedo. We have so much coming up in the next few months. And honestly, my parents are not going to get better. They're just going to get worse. So I'm going to have to prioritize myself and, you know, and making sure that I handle and make sure I feel confident going into each thing. So that way it's not a disaster. No. And I don't, one other point I'll make and cause we're short on time is another thing that really helps is i'll see lacy and she'll be struggling with her outfit and she won't want to go and you know i'll eventually get her out the door and we'll walk into a club and then 10 of her friends will be like oh my god i love your outfit yeah you're so beautiful oh my gosh you look so hot it's like a weight like she just kind of like yeah it's almost like walking out of the room she feels comfortable it all just goes away yeah walking out of the room always helps just forcing myself to go also bring a change of outfits you know that's helped me like i can think of tempted back in december i hated if you hate your outfit you get in the laundry quicker yeah i hated like i i changed outfits like three times and finally by the third i was perfectly fine you know i just and always maybe throw in a little black dress because even if you absolutely hate like it let's say we got tiki coming up you hate your tiki outfit when it's time to go fuck it who gives a shit throw it out put on your favorite little black outfit and just go because at the end of the day nobody really cares nobody really cares if you have a tiki outfit on or if you have a cute black romper nobody cares we're just happy you're there and happy you're having fun right and that's the reason i say that is i think as a community if we realize we're all struggling yeah and we kind of make a point and effort to when you see somebody walk into a club or you see somebody you know raise them up i think yeah i think that helps everybody oh it does yeah and and husband and wife each other sometimes like if dan says you look beautiful i'm like was you supposed to say that you know but i think it's still important to hear it yeah well see i don't want to go aside no but you've done that to me where like you walk out in the outfit and i'll be and you're like well how i look like oh you look beautiful and you're like that's it i just look beautiful. I don't look hot. I don't want to go to a side note, but you've done that to me where like you walk out in an outfit and you're like, well, how do I look? I'm like, oh, you look beautiful. And you're like, that's it? I just look beautiful. I don't look hot. I don't look sexy. You don't think I'm gorgeous? No, I have to tell you. You're not trying to fuck me? And I'm like, babe, I think you look good. What the? No, it's the last event. I have these. I had stilettos and then I had comfortable shoes. Well, I knew we were going to be there. It was like Miami. So we were going to be there at five o'clock in the morning. And I was kind of over it. You know, I was like, fuck it. I'm wearing the comfortable shoes. I don we were going to be there it was like miami so we were going to be there five o'clock in the morning and i was kind of over it you know i was like fuck it i'm wearing the comfortable shoes i don't even care and i'm like try my outfit on i'm like okay i'm walking we're literally walking out the door we're running late and dan goes i didn't even ask him i didn't even say do these shoes look good i did not i said he said do you have any other shoes and i swear like steam came out of my ears i was like are you fucking kidding me i was so pissed yeah so just don't say anything guys don't don't say that you're gorgeous oh my god let me fuck you just those just stick with those words i was like i'm wearing these fucking shoes yeah but anyway all right right out of time i hope that helps answer your question i don't i don't know if it does or not but just know that we all i'll deal with it and um the more you can kind of set yourself up for success plan your outfits um you know encourage each other both in your partnership and and uh your friends around you in the lifestyle and know that you're not alone this is something that everybody deals with and it's okay.
Speaker3:
All right. If anybody else has any more Tuesday Talk questions, we could really use some questions. We didn't have many, did we? We didn't have many. No.
Speaker2:
So I want you to email us at theswingnation at gmail.com, theswingnation at gmail.com. You can email us there or you can text or call us and our phone number is? Uh, 972-302-772 phone number is uh 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716 and you can actually text as well whoa somebody sent some text whoo good text um it is dick pics and a butt plug.
Speaker3:
Baby, we're on.
Speaker1:
You can't show that on the camera. Sorry, I was reading the phone number, and I was like, oh, we have some texts.
Speaker4:
Whoa.
Speaker3:
I wasn't expecting that. I'm going to have to blurt that on YouTube. Okay, so you can call or text us.
Speaker1:
You can send us dick pics if you want, apparently. Whatever. We don't care. Go ahead. Send the dick pics. We're not offended. So, yeah, please. We could use some messages. And also, that couple is going to be at Naughty New Orleans. Oh, awesome. So, we'll get to see a random girl again. That's great. And speaking of shameless plug, we are taking a group to Naughty New Orleansleans um so if you're thinking about going it is one of our favorites i mean outside of like hito and bliss it's definitely up there as far as like one of our favorite events of the year so if that's something you're interested in you'd like to join us you can go to swingerside.net and click the link just click on my my face and it'll take you right to the event and you can sign up and be in our group.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
I actually text Bob today.
Speaker3:
I'm going to try.
Speaker2:
I think he's going to come on the podcast.
Speaker1:
Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker3:
Before Naughty. Yeah.
Speaker2:
He's the owner of that event. So we're going to try to get him on the podcast to talk about Naughty in the Orleans.
Speaker3:
Awesome. All right.
Speaker2:
I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
