Tuesday Talks: Is Talking in the Playroom Rude? BDSM vs. Swinger Etiquette

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. A podcast by swingers for swingers. Where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition. of Tuesday Talks. Yeah. Talking Tuesday. While Lacey takes a selfie. No, I was TikToking. You are doing good. I'm proud of you. Listen, you asked me to do this and I've been doing it. So sometimes you're going to have to be on camera and I'm going to have to catch a little behind the scenes. Yeah. So you want to play. Lacey has been doing vlog posts on TikTok. Yeah. So if you don't know, for the last four years, I've basically posted every single TikTok of Lacey that exists on the internet. Yeah. And here in the last week, you've started doing your own vlog post. Well, so you have been trying to get me to do this for like years. We think that people will relate to me more if they actually got to see me behind the scenes. I think people see this like perfectly curated me in makeup and hair and the cutest outfit possible and pointing and mouthing these words and think that that's just what. It's all you are. That's all I am. And the truth is, is that that's a very small. part of our love. I mean, it's definitely a part of it, but it's small. So you have been really encouraging me. Oops, it's talking while I say that. You've really been encouraging me to do some more day in the life, just so people can kind of see the true me. And it just so happened that I've started ADHD medicine, so I'm a little bit more focused. So I think it helps, honestly. So yeah, so if you want to follow Follow along on TikTok. It's at Miss underscore Swing underscore Nation. So that is the page that you can see. And, like, honestly, not all days are great. Like, I already have, like, been teared up. And you can just see, like, real. Like, it's everything from, like, me and my pajamas with bedhead to, like, mixing my sourdough starter to today we went and toured Hotel Takeovers for a possible event later in the year or next year. So, I mean, you see a little bit of everything. Yeah, so go check that page out. All right. Sorry, I was trying to catch a little bit of the podcast while... Yeah. That's how that... That was why that came up. That's why that came up. She was recording over there. Yeah. Okay, are you ready for this week's question? I am. All right, let's go to the phone lines. My husband and I are more active in the BDSM dom-sub lifestyle but love going to swinger events because they're sex positive and we love the atmosphere. is it not the same in the swingers world we were having sex on the big in Diamond Club, and the two couples swapping literally right next to us finished, and then they started talking about their mortgage rates at a normal volume while still on the bed. Is it rude to say something? We just didn't know if the norms were different in the swing world versus BDSM world. Thanks so much for your time. Bye. All right. So that was a great question, and if you didn't hear it, it's the recording that came out. Oh, okay. I think it was her phone got cut out a little bit or something, but what she's saying is they are typically in the BDSM They engage. They must go to dungeons and things like that. And they like engaging in kink, but they also like having sex in front of people. So they enjoy going to swingers clubs as well as BDSM dungeons. And so they recently went to Trapeze. And in my head, I was thinking Trapeze, which one? It must be Atlanta because they mentioned the Diamond Club. So they were at Trapeze Atlanta. It sounds like they were having sex in one of the group rooms. are swapping beside them and then when they finished they started talking about mortgage rates which are important. They are. Maybe not at a swingers club. But probably not in a playroom. So she's asking is that normal? Yeah. And I think my answer to that question. Well I think she's asking is that normal because in the BDSM world. Right. Like comparing it to the BDSM world that is not allowed and you will very quickly be asked to not do that. To leave or to please be quiet or whatever. Yeah. the case may be. Okay, so I have been to a few dungeons. You've never actually, well, other than at Swingers Clubs, have you ever been to just a pure BDSM dungeon before? No, I have not. Yeah, I think I've been to like two or three. I don't have a lot of experience with that, but I can, one of the things I do distinctly remember is they were much more serious about all the rules, like before you could even go into the space. I mean, they sat you down and like gave you a class if it was your first time there and they talked about all the rules. Swingers Clubs sometimes will walk new couples around and do a similar thing. But this seemed much more stringent. And then they are very serious about when there is a scene going on, respecting that scene and being quiet and not getting too close. And, you know, they have like dungeon masters, but then there's also other people that are like almost like dungeon monitors. And so they take that very, very seriously. And I think rightfully so. And we've talked about that on the podcast here before is, you know, a big difference between swingers and BDSM is, a lot of times the things that these BDSM people are doing are downright dangerous like they're suspending people they're tying them up there's you know sometimes there's hooks and things involved hitting and yeah there's impact and so I think that's why even though we're all sex positive we're all consent positive um I think because of the nature of what they're they're doing they take it much more seriously I think in the Swinger realm, because mostly what we're doing is having heteronormative, sometimes bi-sex, but not dangerous sex. We're very serious about consent, but a little more relaxed maybe on some of the rules as far as in the space. And so I think because of that, it is a rule that you should respect people when they're playing and not be a distraction. Is that a rule? It is a general rule. I would say majority. I have no. The only time I personally have ever heard of that being like a policy or rule is in. You know, they're very serious. You know, is very in Jamaica is very. It's almost like a different style of playing opposed to like an American playroom. But I've never to me. I've never I've never heard of that rule in an American type situation. Yeah, I think it is. Maybe a rule. isn't the right word. Maybe good etiquette might be a better. A hundred percent. It is good etiquette. Yeah. Um, I will say though, I am the world's worst at that. Uh, and maybe because for me, uh, sex in this, it is become so normal. It is not like a taboo thing to sit in the, to sit in the corner and like, like do something else while other people are having, that's not uncommon for me. So I have found myself easily just talking, about everyday normal situations and forgetting that we have caught ourselves and it's the same type of thing where we we'll go to a playroom with a couple couples we'll have a little orgy we'll get done and we're just kinda sitting there talking what are we having for dinner are we going to Waffle House after this I mean like we've literally caught ourselves and say hey guys let's get out of here and talk so we don't distract these other people I'm very bad about it and I've tried really hard you're bad about you'll have a conversation you'll try to start a conversation with people in the orgy with us during the orgy. Yeah. I don't know. Um, I do think it is definitely good etiquette to not do it. I do understand, um, how it happens. I guess her question is, should you say something? I mean, that's a personal choice for me. If having that quiet space is that important, maybe open playrooms might not. And then this person that, that sent this question, and might not like that answer. And I can understand why. Because coming from the BDSM world, we should all just be respectful and we should all just not behave that way. But the truth is that there will be people. Unfortunately, there's usually some alcohol involved. There's heightened emotions. There's just stuff going on that you really can't control someone else's conversation. And so having that space where it is quiet and you can really focus on what you're doing is important maybe a more private area which also gets what she's there for I get that what she's there for she's there to be watched and seen so I mean and maybe in that case she does say something because she wants that open space yeah I think it definitely this is me figuring this out as I speak just FYI you know this is not something I sat here and thought about before so it's kind of why I would this is what I would recommend doing one familiar familiarize yourself with the rules of that that particular space. So if, you know, a lot of spaces will have rules listed for playrooms and some of them might be, you know, please keep quiet or, you know, please, you know, no talking, you know, in the playrooms and stuff like that. So if that is a rule for that space, I think it's a little more acceptable to make a correction if there is a problem. But I don't think there's any problem where is if you and your partner are having sex and somebody beside you is talking about football or talking about mortgage loans. for you to say, hey guys, like you're just being a, you know, not trying to be rude here, but you guys are. The mortgage is killing the vibe. Yeah, you're just distracting me a little bit. And I think if you said that in a nice way, that couple probably is just. Like, oh my God, I'm too long. Right, they're just not paying attention. Yeah, yeah. And they probably aren't meaning to be distracting to you. And so if you said something like that, they probably would get up and take that conversation somewhere else. And I think that's perfectly okay. Now, if you said it in like an aggressive, rude way, you know, you could probably get, a different response and you could say it in the nicest way and if they're just the wrong people you could probably get the wrong response but i do think it's not a hard fast rule to not talk in playrooms except for in certain ones um and i think it is good etiquette i think everybody listening and if you're a swinger or if you're engaging in public playrooms i think it is good etiquette not to have loud conversations particularly not to have loud conversations about things that have nothing to do with what's the task at hand i went and looked at trapeze website more So because I was just curious if that would actually be a rule and it does not say that that is like a rule it does say there might be additional rules like posted there yeah I don't but I don't think I've ever seen that I do think it is an etiquette thing though for sure and I think it's if it's something that's important to you you know you can either say something or just remove yourself from the situation if it's yeah and I can also think so because we're familiar with Trapeze Atlanta especially the Diamond Club there are two large play spaces or at least there always was one is like in the front of the diamond club where all the seats and all the social stuff typically happens it has seats all around it too so i mean like seats around it too i can see like taking a break well in that front one you're definitely going to hear people talking because you're right there like the bars yeah and the back one it's probably a little more uh personal a little more quiet but you are right there are still seats all the way around it that are meant for that kind of voyeur thing and i can see like if somebody is like putting their shoes on over there and And they're like, obviously mortgage rates is different. But if you're like talking about like who's driving home, who's getting the Uber, who's, you know, if you're having those, I can totally see how those conversations can happen. And I almost think that if you're around the wall, it's a little bit better than if you're like laying on the bed. Like if you're laying on the bed and someone's actively fucking next to you and you're like, so who's calling the Uber? You know, that, that is definitely rude. You know? Yeah. Even that to me is more accepting than talking about mortgage rates. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think as a lifestyle, we could do better. I could do better personally. And I think this was like a good reminder to do better. I think there is a lot of things that the lifestyle can take from the BDSM world and apply it that would make us as a community better. And this is definitely one of them. Yeah. No, I do think because we are more of this social party kind of environment as swingers, then you really are like a hard and fast. This is where sex happens and only sex happens. We're a little more liberal in some of those. Yeah. So I hope that answers her question. Hopefully she's not mad at me because I'm like, maybe try and try to move. I actually forgot that she said she was a voyeur. So that would, that would obviously not be the correct answer for that. But if you, if that's not your thing, but being distracted is a, it's a top priority to not be distracted. I can understand why playing, you know, in a more private area might be beneficial for you. Yeah. So I think, yeah, The answer is not good etiquette, but not uncommon. It's okay to say something if you do it in a polite way, but it's not really a hard and fast rule. Yeah. Also, I don't know. Also, you don't know? I think of, like, drunk, ridiculous people at a lifestyle club, and you just say it to the wrong macho guy who's like, fuck it, you know. Yeah, you have to read the room a little bit. Yeah, you have to read the room. You maybe could tell that. I mean, the truth is, is if you're not drinking, a lot of the problems that we talked about here is not going to happen. So, again, learn from the BDSM world. Agreed. Okay. Any other advice for her? I think that's it. Okay. Now, speaking of trapeze. Yes. We're actually headed there. Yes. So, every year around Christmas time, me and Lacey like to do a toy drive. We do. And we donate those toys to a local organization. The last couple of years, we've been doing Toys for Tots. I believe that's who we decided on this year as well. Yeah. So, we kind of start. Let me just, because we have a few minutes. Let's start back. I think this was four years ago. I was trying to think of it. This might be their fourth year, maybe. Yeah. We were going to a lifestyle hotel takeover, Lifestyle Connections in Charlotte, North Carolina. They do a toy drive every year. They ask everyone to bring a toy. They donate a ton of toys to their local in that area. I don't think it's toys for toys. No, it's not. It's similar. It's like a local one. Anyway, so we were going. And this was, you know, like when TikTok and stuff was really kicking off. And so we were like, let's, let's talk about on TikTok and maybe people will donate. And then we can, we'll actually just match whatever people donate. You know, obviously we were going to buy toys and stuff too. It ended up coming out. We got several hundred, I think like a thousand or two. We can go back. There was actually on the podcast where we told the owners that we had brought that many toys. And they like cried and everything. So you want to go back to that. And so that's kind of, how it started. And then we've just kind of kept it going. And we've kind of associated it with different clubs throughout the year. So kind of whatever club we're going to or we're hosting at or something, we kind of. Try to donate locally. Yeah, we try to donate locally to that area. This year, we were trying to keep this year a little like low key and calm because, you know, our lives are crazy. We do not need to add any more crazy to them. So what we're going to actually do, is we're going to do it at trapeze atlanta and it's not a takeover it's not anything crazy we're just going as dan and lacy the host of swing nation and if you bring a toy you get half off your entry which is pretty good because trapeze is a more pricey club as it should be they deserve it they they it's an awesome venue they can pay it it's worth it trust me but if you can get half off or bringing you know a new toy that's amazing and so so far i think So let's talk about us raising money. So we have a GoFundMe. Right. And essentially we pay all the fees associated with it. Swinger Study does. And then we match up to $1,000. So essentially we take all the money from the GoFundMe and then we match up to $1,000 and we go shopping. And we actually bring toys to Toys for Tots. Instead of just like writing a check, which would be easier, we want to make sure that they're actual toys and they're good toys. and that, you know, they're going to go to kids. So that's what we do. We do it every year. You'll see us make TikToks and videos about it. Not because we want, like, praise. Really, we want people to be able to see that, like, what money they gave was actually, like, cashed in views. Yeah, we've gotten a little criticism for that, that we're trying to, like, get views off of other people. But really, it's just so, because there's so many internet scams out there, we want you to know that when you give us the money, look, here we are at Walmart buying the stuff. Here we are bringing it to Toys for Tots. Here Toys for Tots are taking it, just so you have a very clear recording of what actually happens. It is not. I mean, like, because of the people that have been so supportive of us and followed our journey and saw this and have loved to donate, because of y'all, we're able to be a small part of this. Yeah. Well, it's actually twofold. I think it's, one, we're recording it all so that everybody sees what's happening. But two, we're then putting that content out that says, hey, look, see what these swingers are doing that's amazing for their community. So it really helps then spread that, hey, swingers aren't just about sex and partying. They give back to the local community. Yeah. And it really helps shed that positive message as well by putting all that content out there. Yeah. Just trying to show a different side. I think people think we're just these terrible, awful people. And the truth is we're just, we're, we're them, you know, we are the normal people. We just happen to like to sneak away and have hot sex occasionally. Yeah. Who doesn't like hot sex? Okay. So if they want to donate, they can go to these, You'll see the toys for talk. We put it right up front. Click the toys for talk, go fund me, and go make a donation. And again, me and Lacey will personally match up to $1,000. No, Swinger Society will match up to $1,000. Right. Yes. I know, but you said personally. Swinger Society will match up to $1,000 of that money. And then, if you want to bring the toy yourself, you can come party with us at Trapeze Atlanta. December 13th. So, December 13th, it's Babes in Toyland is the theme, which is the perfect theme for bringing toys for Toys for Tots. Yeah, it actually really is. I've got to come up with an outfit because I looked at the calendar wrong and thought the theme was Grinch. So, I've got to scrap that. Friday night is the Grinch. So, if you want to come for the weekend, you do the Grinch Friday night and then Saturday is Babes in Toyland. All right. So, go make a donation and then come party with us December 13th, Trap Bees Atlanta. Can't wait to see you there. And please, send us an email. Call in. We need some Tuesday Talk questions. If you need that phone number, it is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. Shoot us a text with your Tuesday Talk question. Call in. Leave us a voicemail. We could use some more questions. We'd love to hear from you. Yes. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.