Tuesday Talks: How to Build the Perfect Lifestyle Dating Profile

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. A podcast by swingers for swingers. Where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. We are. Talking today. Do we have our new jingle? All right. So we have a new intro. We do. Track. It's not a Tuesday Talk track, though. Oh, it's just like an intro. It's like an intro. It's like the guitar sound that's at the beginning there. Yeah. So that's new. Yeah. We're working on new and improved things. We have a music team. Yeah. They are a team. Yeah. We got to step up. That's why I said team. You're like, we don't have a team. We have a guy. But he actually has a business partner. Okay. They're a team. They're a team. Yeah. Thanks, Joe. They're working on it. Yeah. Right. Okay, so what's today's Tuesday talk? Let's get right into it. I don't know. Let's go to the phone line and find out. This is Ange and Jay. Okay, so we're pretty new to the lifestyle. We've had two experiences in two years' time. They were both a result of going to our local club, and we want to try to expand our horizons by entering the wonderful world of dating apps. It's scary to even think about. I don't hear this topic discussed very often, so give us your best do's and don'ts of dating profiles. Just like in a job interview, it's so hard to sell yourself. So what should we talk about? What should we not talk about? Should we show face on the profile photo or not? What are the good apps? Any advice you can share would be so appreciated. Keep up the great work. We love listening. Thank you. Great question. Love her energy. Yeah. No, she's super. Spunky. I think it's the word for that. I thought that's a good question. I actually got to pick this one because you went to the bathroom and told me I get to pick, which I never get to. I like this one because we travel and go to events all the time. But that is not normal. And we forget that sometimes. We forget that, I mean, yeah, people go to events and stuff, but not as many people get to go to as many as we do. I would say most swingers rely somewhat on... dating apps to meet and connect with other people. And I think we could do a better job of remembering that. We forget sometimes. So here's my take on swinger dating sites. I think they are a necessary evil. Yeah. I do not think they are. I think all dating sites are a necessary evil. Well, I don't think they're the best way to meet people. Yeah. But I do think if you're new to the lifestyle, it's almost essential that you get on these sites. so that you can then find your community. Once you find your community, I don't think the sites are needed anymore. No. And let's not forget, me and you met on a Swinger website. Right. You know, somebody actually sent, I think they emailed us and said they wanted, like a good question was for us to tell our story again. And maybe one day we'll do that. But if you didn't know, Dan and I met on SLS, which is a lifestyle. Dating site. Dating site. Yep. Yeah. Okay. So let's get into the meat and potatoes of our question. All right. So the first question she asks is, you know, she's gone to a couple events. They've had a couple swaps, but they're trying to kind of, it sounds like, expand their connections in their area. So they're thinking dating sites, which I agree is a good way to do it. So they're just looking for some advice on how to do that. So I think the first step is, what apps should she use? Well, the thing about the apps is there's a handful. I mean, there's some that are more popular and some that are less popular. It also very much depends on where you're located. We're talking about within the United States. Outside the United States, it's a little harder for us to, because that's not where we are. We're not swinging, so it's hard for us to give direction. But it really can depend on where you are. I would say a couple of the big ones are SDC, SLS, Cassidy, 3Fun. Those are probably, am I forgetting any? No, those are probably the top four. Those are the top four. It can be, for instance, Cassidy is a lot bigger towards Vegas, California, you know, West Coast where SDC is Southern. Yeah. SLS can can also be Southern. It really, it could be like Florida has one, but Georgia has the other. It's, it's very hard. The really cool thing is most of these apps have free trials and like we have free trials to all of them with the exception of SLS, which is funny because we met there. So I'll make sure you'll, will you tag all those in the show notes? Yeah. So if you go to the swing nation dot info, they're all there. Click on recommended apps and products. You'll see almost all of these apps. Yeah. So, and I'm not, this is not because I want you to use our link. This is just true. Before you go and pay anything, I would recommend joining or maybe do one a month. You know, if you're kind of like, you don't want to get overwhelmed and kind of figure out what each one of them. Because, you know, they all have different features. They all have, you know, different things. But they're all kind of the same. You kind of get the same information but different ways. So, I recommend trying them all out to see which one you like the best. And then maybe going with one. They're not super expensive. Especially if you buy, like, a lifetime. If you're planning on being in the lifestyle for, you know, even if a year, I think it's worth it to buy as a lifetime. Like, we have a couple of lifetimes. Now, it's worth it to kind of have all, some of them, all of them, but that's a personal decision. Yeah. And I think you did, you touched on it. They are regional. And I think if you want to know basically the regions, if you're somebody from the Northeast, there's probably SLS country. If you're kind of in the South, Southeast SDC, once you start going out West Cassidy, if you're in a major metropolitan city, three fun works in most places. the major cities. But there are, like Lacey said, there are pockets. There might be, you know, a certain city out west that just so happens everybody uses SLS or SDC. So it's not universal, but those are the general ideas. And we always liked having all of them because even before we had the podcast and stuff, we still would travel occasionally, like with Dan's work. So we were going to Vegas, for instance, for like a long weekend. We would change our city location to Vegas to kind of see what was out there. You know, and even if we didn't really do it to meet people, even just to have conversations so they can tell us where the best clubs to go to, stuff like that, just so you have more of a pulse of what's going on in the lifestyle in that area. That's kind of why we found it beneficial to have multiple ones. Yeah, we found different clubs and, you know, even places like Paradise Valley and Georgia because we were just talking to people on the apps and saying, hey, we're here for the weekend. You know, we're looking to do some stuff. Is there any, you know, is there, any good lifestyle places that you would recommend. And, you know, if somebody that you're talking to on that app lives in that city or in that area, they can be a very valuable resource for, you know, where you should go out on a Saturday night to have a good time. So, yeah. So, I'll recommend at least trying all the free trials and then kind of going from there. I think 3Fun is free, isn't it? I'm pretty sure it's free. I don't know. I don't think it's free. I think it's the same thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. I got you. You can cut that part out. No, it's okay. So, okay. So, what's next? She asked, what should she put in her profile? Okay, let's talk about pictures first. Should you put your face? That is a personal decision. I think you and your partner need to have that conversation. What if somebody saw it? How would that affect you? I think that's something that you need to decide together. I will say, instead of taking a picture and putting a black box over your face, find a way to take a hot picture of you, like maybe turn to your back or like a side profile of your face. You know, I mean, it's not necessary, but I would much rather see like a sexy silhouette of a woman from behind than two people sitting there with black boxes over their face. Yeah, or some silly emoji. Yeah. So, I mean, I think take time, you know, and honestly, you can make it a date night, taking pictures, have dinner, or maybe take your pictures before dinner, and then, you know, and then make it turn into, you know, you've got lingerie on, you're taking pictures of each other. You know, a quick tip. If you want to take pictures by yourself at home, record a video. There's all kinds of softwares now that you can distract pictures from it or use a countdown. I mean, there's lots of ways to get sexy pictures. But I definitely think taking time to make those is important. Yeah, I think so for pictures. Yeah, face. I would say if you have any fears about somebody seeing it and you losing a job or getting in trouble, then it's okay to not post your face. Like Lacey said, some other way, you know, a full body picture, maybe with your head turned or from the back or, you know, a steamy shower silhouette picture could be your main profile picture and that's completely fine. But what I would say is some keys is you want pictures of him and her. Yes. There's so many profiles that are just completely her and no him. That's kind of a red flag. Yes. Current pictures. Him and her. And then as far as the face picture, I would say have those available at least in a locked, in a locked. So most of these apps have where you can lock a folder and then you can open it up to people, whether it's a passcode or you just open it up. There's different ways on different apps. But when you reach out to somebody and you're interested, I think a good way of reaching out is saying, hey, we looked at your profile. We found you intriguing. You know, we unlocked our pictures. If you guys want to take a look at our profile and if you're interested, reach out or, you know, reply. That's a good way of, you know, if once you see somebody you're interested in, unlocking your pictures for them to say, so that they can see if they're interested is a good way of corresponding. Correct. Yeah. Like Dan said, I think current pictures, full body pictures, you know, you obviously want to look your best, but don't hide who you are. Be proud of who you are, regardless of your size, your, you know, whatever. Just show it to them. You'd rather them know up front what they're getting into than it may be just being a face picture. And then you get there and maybe it's is not a good fit for them. So I just, I think honesty is the best policy, even when it comes to photos. Yeah. So I would say the public photos, some full body pictures, either showing your face or not showing your face, however you're comfortable. It's kind of what you want in your public profile. And then in your concealed folders, you'd want one that probably shows your face or, you know, you and your husband and, or, you know, your partner, uh, face folder. And then another folder maybe that has the naughty stuff. If that's what you want to do, you know, I mean, like it's not, It's not required that you put, you know, X-rated fit photos. It's definitely not required. But it is. I think we would be, like, lying if we didn't say it's not part of the lifestyle. People like showing off. Well, I think some people want to know what they're getting themselves into. I personally appreciate a good dick pic. I know some women are very anti-dick pic. I love it. You know, like, show me what I'm getting myself into. But I think the key is to not lead with that, right? So, you know, you would lead with, hey, we unlocked our face pictures for you. Take a look if you're interested, right? And then they'd reach out and be like, oh, you guys are, a cute couple. Where are you from? You'd chit-chat a little bit and maybe once things started getting spicy, then you'd say, oh, we unlocked our spicy pictures for you if you want to take a look at those. Right? And then at that point, you'd probably, if everything was lining up, you'd try to meet up or something. Yes. So that's kind of the flow. Yeah. You just don't go straight in with a dick pic. Yeah. Okay. What about what you actually write in your profile? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. For me, I would say my advice is to be honest. If the husband's bisexual, say bisexual. If the wife is straight and doesn't want to interact with women, put that. Don't lie. Don't try to make it like what everyone wants to see so that way you're more socially acceptable. Just own who you are and put it out there. I think in the paragraph that you write, I think being witty and charming is important. But I also think like saying what you want is important. Like if you, we have people calling all the time or write in and they say, we are really just looking for a female for my husband to play with. And I just want to like, well, you know, whatever. I'm just coming up with this scenario. Whatever that scenario is, this is the time to put that. I think it's much better to be open and honest right there than if you put you're a full swap couple and then you've been talking to this couple for two weeks and then you go, oh, by the way, I'm not going to fuck you. I'm not going to fuck her husband. We only want to fuck the wife. I just think like being open and honest and being super up front for me goes a long way yeah I think so in that paragraph some of the things I would recommend is say how long you've been in the lifestyle right so if you're brand new say hey we're branding the lifestyle we're you know we're just here exploring you know if you've been in the lifestyle for a while saying hey maybe saying hey we're an experienced you know lifestyle couple making looking to make new connections and then you know kind of the rough rules and boundaries right so we're a same room full swap couple you know we're a We'll do separate play. We do soft play. You know, we're only looking to play with females. You know, whatever those rules and boundaries are, some rough rules and boundaries in there. And then what you're looking for, right? We're looking to meet couples for full swap. We're looking to meet couples to become friends and then see where it goes. You know, we're open to anything. Yeah, like my wife, we're full swap, same room couple. My wife is super interested in getting gang banged. If that's something you're interested in and want to help us fulfill, let us know. I think all of those things are perfectly acceptable. I actually really enjoy reading other people's profiles. So if you're like a little timid about what to write, it's okay to kind of leave a generic for a few days and kind of read others. I mean, obviously, you're not going to copy them, but you're going to, you know, kind of see what other people are into, talk about it, kind of come up with your own version of it. I think it's super helpful. I do have a question for you Dan what some people put on there what they're not into and they're very blatant and very like we do not do this how do you feel about that I have mixed feelings me too so I don't like the profiles that say like we only play within our same race or that's awful think you know some of these things you some of the profiles are very proportion which but I I guess I would rather have them put that in their profile. And then I read that and I know exactly that this is not a couple for me. Right. So I actually almost don't want to tell people not to put that if that's truly how they feel, because I would like to identify them as somebody that I don't want to play with. Yeah. Like we have no single men on ours, I think. I think we say if you're a single male, we'll reach out to you. Right. And then we still get 100 messages from single males. But, you know, I think that's OK to say. Right. Say, you know, if you're a single male and we're looking for that, we'll reach out to you. Because truly, if we were looking for a single male, you would probably look for the profiles and pick somebody you'd want to message. The chances of us responding to one of the 600 single males that message us every month is pretty low. So it's more of just telling them you reaching out is kind of you wasting your time. But most of them don't listen anyway, so it's okay. But there are also ones that are almost rude in their messaging. Yeah, that's the ones I don't like. I guess that's what I mean. They almost come across as they're annoyed. Or entitled. I get saying what you're into and saying what you're not into. And that's okay. You have that prerogative. You don't have to be into it. It's almost like the wordy. It just rubs me. It's the tone of voice. If you come across as very demanding or condescending. If you don't have updated pictures, don't message me. I don't really like a lot of that. Again, I'm with you. I would rather know up front that that's that's who you are. So I don't message you. It's more of a turn off than anything. But I don't know. Yeah. There are some that are very specific. It's like all caps. Yeah. I mean there are something you know that I see some profiles that say like you know if your dick's not bigger than six inches don't message me. You know and to me that kind of stuff to turn off too. But I also like if that's your truly what you're looking for. I don't necessarily think it's wrong that you put it there. You're saying yeah same. I mean probably the people that's going to offend are people that's dicks. But it offends me a little bit. I know. I'm just joking. That was kind of a joke. But do you know what I'm saying, though? It's almost like... Like you're devaluing somebody with a normal-sized penis. Right. And I almost think you're kind of in this for the wrong reasons. But I also get it. It could be your fantasy. So it's hard to yuck somebody as young. But yeah, I do think there's some specifics in there. I think the general stuff is your experience level, your rules and boundaries, and then kind of what you're looking for. Anything else I should add? Also, your location, I think, is important. You do not have to put where you are physically located. Like, if you live in, I don't know, a city outside of Houston, like a small little community, you can actually put it to Houston or you can put it to Dallas. You do not have to put it to your exact location. Also, like we said, like I said earlier, if you're traveling, you can move your location to wherever you're going to go. Especially before so many events, we would So we kind of got lay of the land. We kind of could intermingle with the people, find out what's going on. And that was super beneficial for us. So definitely keep that in mind, especially like if you live in a tiny little bitty town, you don't want a whole lot of people around you knowing. Yeah. And then so some other when you're looking, once you get on these sites, some things to look at is how long that person has been on the platform. So you'll see some people have been on there for years and, you know, and then Also, there's reviews. So a lot of these sites, you can do like a, you can certify the person as real. And then you can almost leave like a little Yelp review of, yeah, I met up with Lacey and oh my gosh, she rocked my world and was amazing and so sweet and kind. Highly recommend if you get a chance to meet her, do so. So finding, if you're really looking for a couple and you want to make sure that you're not wasting your time, finding couples that have been on the platform for a while and maybe have a few, you know, a certification or a few good, you know, reviews. Those are probably the best. Yeah. And make sure you fill out the profile as much as you can. I think there's some boxes that you can leave empty. But the more information you give, it looks more like a real person. It doesn't come across as like it's 2 a.m. and we've got drunk and we're going to make a swinger profile and then never log back in. So I think there are ways that you can appear to be like really interested, really want to be there. And for in this case, she's been last up for two years. And it might be a new profile. You might want to put that in your profile. We've been in the lifestyle for two years, only been going to local clubs, wanting to expand to online. So not brand new, but. Right. And then like you said, if you take the time, write good descriptions, take good pictures. To me, that comes across as a real profile. The profiles you want to watch out for are the ones that have like one picture off the Internet of some random pineapple. And they've been on there for two days and they have no verification. and they're saying they're a six-foot-tall male with abs and a 12-inch dick. You know what I mean? Like, that's probably not real. Also, paid, typically if someone is paying, you're going to find that they're actually a person. A lot of the free profiles are the, you know, the husband did it without the wife's consent, you know, and she doesn't even know that she has a page. Typically, if somebody's willing to pay that monthly fee or pay that lifetime fee, They're really committed and wanting to be in it. Also, I think putting pictures up, like if you go to parties or go, like even if it's your local club, usually a lot of times they'll have the backdrops. Having pictures that shows that you have, you're active in the last, you've been going places, I think also helps show that you are real and you're real active in the lifestyle. 100%. All right. So I hope that helps answer your question on how to navigate the dating website. of the lifestyle. Again, if you're looking for a free trial to some of those websites, you can go to theswingnation.info, recommended apps and products, click on the Cassidy or SDC banner, the free fund banner, and get a free trial. Check some of those out. And good luck out there. Yeah, good luck. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. All right. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. We could actually use some more. So we kind of have run through, they always come in waves for some reason. So a few ways you can get a hold of us. You can email your questions to theswingnation at gmail.com. Theswingnation at gmail.com. We've also had some people email us like an audio file. That's a good way of asking your questions. Or you can call in. And if you want to call in and leave a voicemail, that number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. 1176. Okay. And you can also text that number and text your questions in that way. We'll get those. Or, you know, send us nudes or whatever. Right? Yeah. All right. Anything else? That's it. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, we have a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, You can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.