Tuesday Talks: How Do You Swing with a Teen at Home?

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition. of Tuesday Talks. Where? Talkin' Tuesday. With Dan and Wasey. Dan and Wasey! Why do you always change the L? Wasey! It's like you put a W. I don't know. Okay. That's the Tuesday Talk voice. I didn't choose it. It chose me. Yeah. All right. So you have this week's question. Yeah. This came, what, via email? Yes. Okay. It says, hello, love your podcast. I have a Tuesday Talk question. Husband and I are fairly new, less than a year. We have a teenager. How do people with kids, especially older kids, go about taking more couple vacations and going to clubs, especially when you're never used to, and making these new couple friends while keeping everything private from your kids? Teenagers are more aware of things than when they were younger. While we never bring anyone back to our home or even discuss our private life out in the open, I'm always afraid they'll put two and two together and get curious about what we're up to. Any insight is appreciated. Thanks. This is from Kristen. Thank you, Kristen. So Kristen wants to know how does she start exploring this lifestyle more with her husband? She apparently has teenagers. She said teenager singular. A teenager. So what she's wanting to do is explore. I guess he's older now. Maybe he can babysit himself. Might be a girl. Might be a girl. Or whatever. Maybe she can stay home alone. So now they have more free time. They're not empty nesters. But they can go and they can travel and they can do things. and they're wanting to do that. But what they're afraid of is that they're tech savvy, smart teenager who are nosy, especially if it's a female. They seem like they're worse. I have a boy who's 16 and I could only imagine if he was a girl. Oh my God. But in the world of, you know, life 360 and, you know, GPS monitoring and all these apps and things that we use for teenagers and often we give them access to us as well. How do you keep This is a dirty little secret. So we kind of went back and forth if we were ever going to answer this, because the truth is we failed miserably. We outed ourselves on the internet, and then our kids found out. Mine was in middle school. Yours were about teenage years. They were probably high school, though. Yeah, they were high school. So we failed miserably at this, but I kind of pushed to do this one because I have a similar kind of situation. When Dan and I really started exploring the lifestyle, this is pre-podcast, pre-everything, my mom was like a teenager. My mom and me were very, very close. We still are, but we were very close. So anytime I went anywhere, if I went to the bathroom, she pretty much knew. This was so weird to me when me and Lacey started dating. You and your mother, but now she lives with us. But before, you guys talk on the phone five, six, seven times a day. I think that's a little much, but three or four for sure. So she knew everything. She knew every friend I had. She knew everything. So then all of a sudden we're going to like weekend trips. And you're not calling her. And I'm not calling her. I'm not. And she was like, what the fuck is going on? You know, she had a hard time. And so like, I kind of feel felt at the time, kind of like you are probably feeling. Of course, she didn't have Life360 on me. Thank God, because she sure would be Googling where I was. I was coming up with stories. I was like, oh, Dan's boss owns a condo in Atlanta, so we're going to go spend the weekend here. I mean, like, I don't even know what the fuck that was even. And we even had good excuses because we'd lived apart. Yeah. So us, like, meeting in Atlanta made sense. Yeah. But she was still like, well, what are you doing in Atlanta? Where are you going? Yeah. Who are you with? Yeah. She would ask all the questions. We would go out to dinner, like, with a couple, like, you know, like, that we met on, like, SLS. or something like that. And she would be like, I'm like, we're going to go have dinner with friends with friends. I didn't know what couple, you know. So I can kind of I can relate to this on that level. So anyway, I say all that we were discussing if we should even answer this. And I want you to talk about what you said, because I think you bring up a great point. Well, I think part of what the solution we came to when we were discussing this prior to recording was one is it's really none of their fucking business. Yeah. And so I we have friends and stuff that have told that they tell their children, like, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, right? Like, me and your dad or me and your mom are adults, and we're going to go out and we're having a good time. And this is even with their adult children. You know, they're like, if you look up Life360, you're going to do not Google where we are. You know, you're going to find out stuff about your mom and dad that you might not want to have. And I don't know how else to do it other than that. Like, especially if you're in a relationship with your teenage kids where they have, like, access to your GPS information, or even, like, how How are you going to explain going to secrets in Orlando or hedonism? Why are you at a, you know, you can. And here's, I guess, where what I ultimately think. I think you can lie to them and you can come up with all kinds of bullshit excuses. But at the end of the day, I think they're probably going to figure if they're smart teenagers, like most of them are. There's probably a pretty good chance that they're going to figure it out. Yeah. Right. So then if they figure it out, if they don't figure it out, they're like, what the what the fuck is mom and dad doing? Like something's up. So part of me almost thinks you just set that clear boundary. Like, hey, me and your dad are, you know, we're going out. We're having a good time. You know, we're consenting adults. We don't have to go that far. But we're just going out and we're having fun as a couple. I don't think you even have to tell them anything. I think you can say me and your dad have raised you basically. And we really want to focus on our relationship. And so we're going to start going out more. We're going to go. We're going to go dancing. I'm going to get cute dresses. I'm going to, you know, we're going to go. on weekend getaways we're gonna do some fun stuff so i just wanted to like tell you that so you know when we start doing things you're not freaking out but we just it's the new year you could say it's a new year's resolution we're gonna focus on our relationship i think i think it always has to be age appropriate you know like i don't think you go to your kids say hey guess what we're fucking other people you know to bring our relationship you know to spice things up i don't think you have to say that i think you can say dad and i i'm assuming this is The Mom Talking, are really wanting to focus on each other and kind of get back to where we were in the very beginning, kind of re-spark things. So we're going to do some stuff this year. It's going to look a little different, but I just want you to know that we love each other and we love you and we're going to have fun and everything's okay, you know? But like maybe you might, and you might even say, we might even go to a strip club. You know, you just maybe make it a little bit more innocent because their mind probably is not mom's fucking some big giant cock and a hotel room somewhere, you know, like you make it a little, you know, a little bit more innocent, you know, like we might go, I might go to a topless party, you know, or I might go to a topless beach or something like that. That's a little bit more socially acceptable than like full on fucking strangers. You know, I think you can kind of do it. Right. But you can do it age appropriate, I guess is my thing. But my point is, if they do have access to your GPS information or even like if they are that Snoopy, you know, they're going to find the pineapple. the pineapple shirt you have in your closet or the pineapple tumbler that you have hidden wherever you hide it. They're going to find that bracelet from Colette's. You know, like if they're really that nosy and that snoopy at some point in time, they might cross something to where they're going to find something that's lets them know exactly what you're doing. And so I think you have to say like what you're saying is we're adults and we're going to be, you know, exploring together. And if you go digging too deep, you might find something you don't want to find. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think maybe, I mean, frankly, it's none of your business. Like, I think starting out easier with, you know, like softer would be better, you know, but I will say just like side note, we have been public swingers now for like four plus years. And of all the things that we have gone through with like being coming public and just like all the shit, the one regret I have is we didn't personally. We told one kid. The other two we did not. They found out on their own. That is my one biggest regret out of all of this. And I'm going to be transparent. You do not have to be a public swinger for people to find out that you're a swinger. I'm on the swinger Reddit page and it is every single day that people are on there talking about how their family, how their kids found out. I was reading one the other day where they shared a Facebook reel. And they had their Facebook swinger site. They shared it from their swinger one? No, they weren't even connected. But for some reason, it pulled, like when the kids opened it, it said from. And the one kid, you know, when I say kid, it's like a 30-year-old, pulled the parents to the side and was like, hey, I just want you to know this came from that. And everybody's seen it. And so we just want you to know we saw that, you know. So like, you don't have to be a public swinger for people to figure things out. I know one friend that figured out her parents were swingers because somebody accidentally tagged them in a picture and there was a bliss crew sign in the background. Before they could untag it, the kids saw it and Googled bliss crew. There is a very good chance that your children will, if not figure this completely out, but they're definitely going to have suspicions. I think it's easy to hide it from young children. I think it's easy to keep it from your parents. But I think the difference with teenage children that are living in your house, especially if you're like our teenagers and you have each other on Life360 and all these things, they just have so much access to you, your stuff, your information, that it's going to be hard. Yeah, it's very hard. It's going to be really hard. And it's kind of like the story we tell people when they join OnlyFans. Because so many people join OnlyFans and they're like, oh, I'm going to do it and nobody's going to know. Or it's like, somebody's going to know. Well, shit. Somebody's going to figure it out. Somebody's going to know. And I think the lifestyle is kind of similar, especially if you are trying to keep it from people that like live in your house and are becoming young adults. I think they're going to find out at some point in time. And you know, our kids, I mean, not that they like think it's super cool. They don't think it's super cool that we're swingers. They think we're weirdos, but they think it's cool that we travel. Like for instance, we've been like on a cruise and they've like take like his daughter's taking a picture of us in the middle of the ocean and like send it to the group text. Like, Y'all are in the middle of the, you know, they think it's cool that we're always, they could always pull up Life 360 and who knows where the hell we're going to be that time. So, and you know, like, and again, my teenager knows, and like, we don't talk about it. It's not like a, it's like, hey, we're going, like, for instance, we're about to leave. This is, you're hearing this after New Year's, but we're actually filming it like a week before, but we are, like, we're going to a New Year's party and I'm just like, hey, we're going, you know, we're going to Atlanta for New Year's. He's like, Okay, like, I don't say we're going to New Year's for a New Year's party so mom can get dick down. You know? Yeah. Even though she probably will. Yeah. I just leave it very vague. And then, you know, we're like, we're going to New Orleans. We're going to wherever. And that's just kind of it. It doesn't have to be. Yeah, we don't talk about the details of what we're doing or why we're doing it. But we are very open and honest with our kids about where we go and when we go. And it's all on the calendar. They can track us on Life 360 whenever they want. And it could even be like a non-swinger thing. We treat non-swinger things the same as we treat. We could be like, oh, we're going to Florida for the weekend. It's never like hush-hush. It's all the same. It's all in the same playing field. So nothing is weird. It's just our lives. And that's just kind of how we live them. Yeah. And I will say, since you have been able to be honest with your especially your mother it's a nice feeling to not have to lie oh my god it's so nice like once we were outed i mean of course i was like devastated for like six months you know it took me a while and even now some days i still find struggles but overall it is the best feeling in the world to not have to lie to not have to come up with a cover story i feel for people that when i see like on the bliss cruises they're like does anybody know what ship we're telling people that we're on, so nobody knows. I'm like, thank God we don't have to do that because that is a nightmare. And I just, as much as there is some mystery and fun to like almost living like two lives when nobody knows you're a swinger, it's also very refreshing to just be authentically yourself. Yeah. So for what it's worth, I'm not trying to get you to out yourself. I'm just saying, if you ever get to the point where you can, it's a lovely feeling. Yeah. So I guess the ultimately, the answer, is one, there's a real realistic chance that they're going to find out. Two, if you truly want to hide it, I think you're still going to have to have the conversation saying, hey, me and your dad are going to be spending more time together. We're going to be traveling together. And when we do that, we're going to turn off our life 360. Because we want privacy. And it's really none of your business. But if you need me, you could text me and I will immediately respond. Like you're not, we're not going away where you can't get us, you know. So you could have that conversation and still kind of leave it vague and then, you know, try to keep it under wraps still. Or at the end of the day, you could say, you know, hey, me and your dad are going to start traveling and exploring together. And that's all I want to say about it. Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. Yeah. Right. So I feel like we kind of have, we don't have a good answer. And I honestly don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. I don't think. Well, I think in 2025, when you look at all the apps, all the different social media, all the different ways, everything is trying to connect. to try to fight that is so hard. Yeah. And chances are you're probably going to slip up at some point or you're going to have to like half do it. You know what I mean? Like you're not going to be able to fully enjoy yourself because you're going to there's going to be so many roadblocks that you have to keep in place to keep it quiet. You know, so I don't know. It's really hard. I think you can do it if you really want to. But I think you have to keep it in the back of your mind what happens if they do see it and have a plan for that. Yeah, we definitely have a plan and have like what you're going to say because getting caught off guard with that is it's the worst feeling ever, you know, being like deer in headlights. So yeah, that would be my suggestion. But I am excited that you and your husband are exploring in 2026 and I hope we see you at a future party or an event and best of luck with your teenagers and keeping that secret. And if you do decide to have those conversations, best of luck on those All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. All right. If you have a Tuesday Talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways that you can get a hold of us. You can email us your questions at theswingnation at gmail.com or you can call or text them. And that phone number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. All right. And I think with that, We're all full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. 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