Tuesday Talks: Escaping the Clingy Couple—Vacation Edition

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and they say. Tuesday Talks, Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and they say. Ooh, how about that high note? Perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another Tuesday Talk episode. We are. and Tuesday. With Dan and Lacey. Woo! Like that? Yeah, that was really good. Alright, if you hear thunderstorms in the background, it's because it's raining and thunderstorming. It's thunderstorming. I'll try to clean that up when I edit the audio, but you know, sometimes you still hear that stuff. And we have three episodes to record because we're leaving for Hedo on Friday, so we gotta get this done. I don't know how long this storm's gonna last, so. Let's do it. Yep. Alright, are you ready? Yeah. Let's go to the phone lines. You have no idea what this question is? No, I didn't listen. All right. Yeah. Let's see. Hey, Dan and Lacey. Just wanted to say I love your podcast. And when my husband and I got started exploring the lifestyle, I listened to just about every episode you had. And that helped me tremendously. And we've been exploring for quite a few years now and loving every minute of it. My husband and I recently went to Desire Riviera Maya. Had an absolute blast. It was our first time doing an LS-friendly vacation. And we met a great couple the first night. And much to my surprise, we ended up in the playroom with them that first night. So great. Had a wonderful time. We were both really physically attracted to them and loved hanging out with them. However, the next few nights, It was almost like an expectation that we would hook up with them every single night. And we felt, I mean, we loved it. We had a great time. But yet, this was our first vacation at Desire. We wanted to explore and maybe meet some other people or maybe see what some other options were. But yet, we didn't want to just ditch this new couple that we had met the first night because we generally did like them. So do you have any advice how to go about that? We ended up, did meet another couple on our last night because the original couple had left home a day before we did. But had they been there the whole time, I don't know that we would have met this other couple. So any words of advice would be great. We are heading back to Desire in October. And I would love to hear what you had to say. Thank you. That's a good question. That is a great question. Yeah, that's a really good question. All right. So just to recap that a little bit, if you didn't hear, They went to Desire. On the very first night, they met a couple. Ended up in the playroom with the couple. Sounds like they had a good time. Sounds like they had a good time. Sounds like they even liked this couple. But the problem was now the couple basically followed them around for the rest of the time they were there, which seems like it hindered them meeting other couples and maybe engaging with other couples. want to be that other couple. So, I mean, I can see us even doing that. Like, if we didn't know anybody and we hit it off with somebody the first night, I could see us, like, seeing them in the crowd and being like, hey, you know, like, kind of naturally gravitating towards them. So, I think this is a good lesson for both sides of this. Well, and this isn't what she asked, but I'll even add this to that. You even see this if we know, like, a couple locally here. Yeah. And we went to somewhere like Desire or Hedo together. Yes. This happens. What happens to a lot of couples is that couple that they know from home is now attached themselves to them. We do it to other couples and other couples do it. And we have probably done this somewhat to couples that we know. Yeah, we have. Just because it's naturally we're drawn. We know each other. So first thing we're going to be is like, hey, you know, or we're going to, you know, leave our rooms at the same time to go to the party. Like, hey, are you ready? Yeah, we're going to head out. And then like unintentionally, you're like hindering each other from stepping outside of that friend group. And we actually get, like critiqued online because people feel like we stay within our friend group too often um but a lot of times this just happens uh not not on purpose it's just because it also makes natural to want to like gravitate towards the people you know right but it also makes sense that if you fly to jamaica you're in this resort with hundreds of new people that you don't know i think it's also okay that i don't just want to hang out and hook up with a couple that we know from our hometown that we could fuck them You have to fucking hang out with on any weekend, right? So I think, one, yes, that's your friend and you're genuine and you want to hang out with them and you want to fuck them because you care about them. But there's some side of you that's like, hey, we're on this vacation to meet and explore with new people, too. Well, that friend probably feels that same way, too. You know, even though we're all gravitating towards each other, they also probably think they should step out and explore. The question is, how do you do that? You have to be intentional. With what you're doing, I think it's even okay to be open and honest about it. We had a freaking blast with y'all last night. But tonight we want to see if we can meet someone new. This is our first lifestyle vacation. We kind of want to just maybe if we hit it off. Explore our options. But I think what works for you and I is we just like to do orgies. And when people say, why do you like doing orgies? This right here is a prime example. because you're not just with one couple. You can each go find a couple and then you have four couples to have an orgy with. So I think unintentionally that's what we end up doing just because it's super hard to divide your time. And, you know, why fuck one when you can fuck four guys? That's, you know, my advice. It's true. A big reason I think we are so into group play isn't necessarily that it's the best situation or the best sex you can have. I think it's probably better when you're like two on two. I agree. But because we have so many friends and we want to make new connections, you know, if you're only somewhere for two nights or even five nights, you know, if you have 20, 30 friends there, you don't have time to connect with all the people that you want to. So for us, group play is a way that we can do that. Yeah. And I can I can think of like cases years ago where we had friends and we were like at Trapeze Atlanta and they were like, let's get a big orgy together tonight. So I'm going to go find a couple hot couples and you go find a couple and like we'll meet back together you know and so I mean it doesn't have to be like an awkward conversation you know it could be it could be something like that but it also could be as simple as like the husband pulling the husband's inside like listen we have a fucking blast with y'all we totally want to do it again but this is our first lifestyle vacation and we're really like we're really here to explore and kind of have all these different experiences so tonight I think we're going to mingle but in no way does that have anything to do with our time with y'all last was a blast. I just wanted to be upfront and honest. And I think that always is going to be okay. And if they get mad at that. Or their feelings hurt. I would rather someone. I think it's actually okay if you say that they do get their feelings hurt a little bit. Yeah. I think I would rather somebody be mad at me for me being honest than like kind of ditch them. And then they feel like you didn't. Then they're mad because they feel like you don't like them. So that's just me though. Yeah. It's funny. You know, we've said this a hundred times. The answer to anybody's question in the lifestyle is always communication. Yeah. end of the day is always the answer so I think like Lacey saying being direct with them and saying man we had a blast with you guys but this is our first lifestyle vacation and we want to try to make some new connections and explore you know other other things I think it's completely okay to say that and the only other real way to do that is to kind of like try to ditch them right like oh they're at the pool let's not go to that pool let's go hang out over here instead and just avoid them which is awkward which is awkward and then they're going to think like oh they don't like us or they didn't have fun with us but you had a great night with them so to just say hey we had a great night Great night with you, but this is our first vacation. We're trying to, you know, see how, you know. We're in the lifestyle. There's things that she wants to try and experience or if I want to try and I want to experience. I just, I think that's okay. Like making, being honest. Okay. You know, like. Well, that's the truth because it's easy to say that. It is. But then when you do that, right, you go to this couple and you say that they might get their feelings hurt. They might get upset with you. And now, now you just, you know, maybe potentially what was, a blossoming friendship now maybe gets derailed. But if you avoid them, you're going to have the same issues. And then they're going to think that you didn't enjoy having sex with them. Well, and honestly, if this is a couple you don't really know, being upfront and honest with them and then seeing how they react to that is probably the best way to see like, is this a friendship I want to maintain long term, right? Because if you are upfront and honest with them and they do get upset and get mad and don't want to hang out with you anymore, well, that's probably not a couple that you wanted to invest time anyway because they clearly need more attention and time than what they do. But you are looking to give another couple. Yeah. And, you know, like one thing I think a lot of people that kind of lose in the middle of all this, we've done it before. I mean, but like we have to remind ourselves. At the end of the day, it's about you and I. Talking about Dan and myself. It's about me and you. So when we leave Desire, we leave Jamaica, we leave Secrets, we leave wherever we are. If we are good and we have a great experience, then that's really what it's about. Our relationship, how we communicate with each other. because we didn't fuck them two nights in a row. Well, that's on that couple. You know, as long as we communicated clearly, we were upfront, we were honest, and you and I are good, everything else doesn't really matter. I mean, that sometimes can be hard to hear, but it's true. It's almost like a huge life lesson that I think, you know, as we start to get older, you realize more and more that stop living life to make other people happy. It's okay to put your happiness first. It's okay to put our relationship first. If we pay $5,000 to go on a vacation, we don't need to spend every day trying to make this other couple have a good experience. So they don't get mad at us. Right. So they don't get mad at us. We should just go have our own good experience. And if they do get mad, then that's on them, not on us. And truth be told, we need to take our own advice. I don't want, I don't, a lot of times this, like we say before, this is a lot of therapy. A lot of these questions that y'all ask are very good reminders for us because we get bogged down. We get, you know, we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. We don't want to piss somebody off. And now with this platform that we have, if we turn somebody down, they may go online and tell everybody that we are stuck up and we didn't want to fuck them. Or, you know, like, there's a lot of reasons for us to then, you know, like, so we get it and we need to take our own advice is what I'm saying. I don't want it to come across that like, oh, we're perfect and we do this every time. No, we struggle with this also. So this is a great reminder for us. Yeah, I think the answer to the question is easy. I think executing that and actually doing that in real life is way harder to do than just saying that this is what you should do. Yeah. But I do think there's, you know, being upfront and honest is the best policy. Like Lacey said, you know, group play, right? Going to it saying, hey, tonight we want to try if they're coming to you and it's clear to you that they're trying to hook up tonight being like, hey, we wanted to try the playroom tonight or, you know, we were thinking about maybe trying to get a group together tonight and experience that. Maybe that's their thing. Maybe that's not their thing. But at least you're saying, hey, this is what we want to do. If you guys want to do it, too, you're welcome to come. But if not, this is what we want to do and go with that. And we do do a pretty decent job at that. No, we do a good job of that, I will say. We very rarely make specific plans with a specific person. We typically leave it open-ending. And honestly, there's very few times where we ever go to a playroom when someone's not invited. We don't typically do that. the merrier. And it is ultimately up to you as the individual person to be able to communicate who you want to play with and who you don't want to play with. Yeah. I think for us, the biggest, you know, when we go to public playrooms, we try to invite everybody and everybody's included. Where we get in trouble is when somebody invites us to their, like they arranged an orgy or something and they invited us to theirs, but maybe didn't invite other people that we're friends with. And then those people are getting mad at us. It's like, well, it's almost like we're inviting you to somebody else's party. You can't really do that. Yeah. Yeah. Same. It's always just hearing ourselves talk. I'm like, man, this sounds fucking complicated. It does. You know what I mean? Yeah. But we do it. Yeah. Make it work somehow. This is why the lifestyle gets messy. The lifestyle is drama. Yeah. And, you know, we always push back and say, oh, we avoid drama. And that's true. We do. We try to avoid it at all costs. But the truth is when people's feelings are involved and when you're trying to navigate multiple relationships with multiple couples. And you're fucking them. And you're having sex with them all at the same time. time, it gets messy. It gets complicated. It gets to be drama. Our drama is often, you know, shared on TikTok lives and stuff. And people get to see it first time. But no, this is normal. Like, you know, it might seem like this is a lot to talk about. It might seem like, oh, my gosh, it's worth it. But I think the answer is what we just said. Put yourselves first. Your primary relationship, the person that you're in love with, the person that you're living life with and living life If you said, if you're not honest, it usually just makes things more complicated. And the outcome ends up being worse than if you were just honest to start with. And, you know, you're going to not listen to us and you're going to try to protect people's feelings. I'm going to try to wiggle your way around it and not be honest and it's going to come back and it's going to bite you. Like it has us too. Right. And you'll learn from that and you'll grow from that. And that's why we say this is a journey and it really is. Right. And you're going to we're going to make mistakes. You're going to make mistakes. But just know you're not in this alone. We're all doing this together and we're all at least most of us are trying to do our best to protect as many people as we can to not hurt feelings. But still, you know. Yeah. I'm like the ultimate people pleaser. Like, I want everyone to be happy and everyone to like me. So I struggle with this a lot. I just, I don't know. I care about people. I don't want anybody to be left out or not included. And I just, yeah, it's harder for me. And it's going to be harder for others like that, too. And then there's going to be some people that are extremely direct and like, I got this. So maybe, hopefully you're married to them. Well, and sometimes it's refreshing, though. We've had people be direct with us and it's almost like, oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. Thank you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, okay. All right. I hope that answers your question. Great question. And I hope, I don't know if we really gave you the best answer, but being open and honest, I think is the key. And then maybe suggesting, you know, if there's things that you want to do, letting that couple know, hey, we want to do these things. And if, you know, if they can be part of it, inviting them. And if not, just say, hey, we're going to try this tonight. We'll see you guys tomorrow night. That's completely acceptable. All right. So if you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. We could actually use some more questions, specifically voicemails. We've been getting a lot of texts and emails, but we could use some more voicemails. And if you'd like to call in and ask a question, that number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. You can also text that same phone number if you don't want to leave your voice publicly, don't want it shared publicly. We read all the text. Or you can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. We need those questions to keep this going. So call, write, text. Can't wait to hear from you. Yep. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? No, that's it. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation dot net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time goodbye Good-bye.