Tuesday Talks: Cursed in the Lifestyle, When Nobody Can Get It Up

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. A podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl, and we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. Everybody's been calling me Wasey. With Dan and Wasey. Dan and Wasey. In person, people were calling us that and calling me that, and then somebody came in my TikTok live today and called me that. Because she loves being called Wasey. My favorite thing ever. She doesn't like it, but it's fun to mess with her. Welcome to the first episode in our newly renovated studio. So if you're watching on YouTube, you can see this. If not, then you can just hear us. You can go look at it on YouTube if you're listening while you're driving in the car. Not while you're driving, but you know what I mean. So what do you think? New and improved. We got three different camera angles. It's cutting between us when we talk. It's going to take us a few episodes to kind of get the style of the end. So if it's not perfect, Calm down. Yeah. Give us some grace. We actually have a sign coming in. Like, we've got to, you know, we've got to tweak it. We've got to look at it. And you'll know our schedule is crazy. So it's, we were kind of doing this on the fly today. Yeah. Well, we got motivated, though. We just did a Your Wifey episode. Yeah. Just released. Yeah. And our renovations were always going to be around that. We kind of, that was like our, I don't know, like our goal day. So we kind of knew that was coming out. and would put a lot of eyes on us. So that was our goal. Right. So we set the goal. And I think we recorded that back in what, like November or something? October. October, yeah. So once we went to their studio, we're like, we need to step up our game. Yeah. Which, I mean, I was very proud of the studio, like how we had it set up. But I just felt like we needed some new chairs. We just, we needed to step it up a little. So we needed a better, some better cameras. So it was a good motivator. Better cameras, better lights, better furniture. Yeah. But we got to, it's going to take us a minute. to dial it in perfectly. Yeah. There's still some adjustments that we need to make. Right. But it is Monday and this episode comes out tomorrow. So we just we got to do what we got to do. I was stressing a little bit trying to put all this together because I've never done this multi camera angle thing. So there's new software and stuff involved. Yeah. So if you're just listening to us and you don't really care where we're sitting or what we look like, thank you for being here and listen to us rant. All right. So let's go. This week's episode or this week's question is coming from. text messages. And that's because the phone was dead. So I'm using the iPad. So instead of waiting for the phone to charge to get audio, Lacey's like, I'm just going to pull up the iPad. I can look at the text messages. It's 745 at night. We haven't had dinner. You know, we are doing what we got to do. All right. So let's listen to this week's question. Hey, it's a long one. So but it's worth listening to. She she does a very good job of explaining it. It says, hey, Swing Nation, I'm texting instead of calling because my accent would absolutely give me away. any past partners to feel awkward or bad. This is not a roast. This is a slightly unhinged cry for help. My husband and I are newest to the lifestyle and I'm starting to think I have what could only be described as the swinger curse. For context, I came into this very excited, like new adventure, hot experiences, living my best life excited. I've even had vanilla partners who would provide references, like a Yelp page, five stars, great vibes, would recommend, So imagine my confusion when everyone else is having the time in their lives and I'm over here like, is it me? Am I haunted? Our first event was a secrets takeover with you guys. We met two couples and thought, group play, let's rip this band-aid off. For my husband, amazing. For me, a Netflix true crime episode. Everyone starts off, everything starts off hot, making out, chemistry, great energy. Then we got into the playroom and jumped right in. One of the guys starts going down on me and honestly he's doing a good job but he's having ED issues and just will not move. My husband and the other guy are trying to what's this word they're trying to rescue me and I'm stuck in quicksand because while I love oral I also enjoy options. Another guy comes over and I start helping him out and the guy between my legs is still just committed to the assignment. By the time it's over and the other four people had a great time I was the only one who didn't. So I very politely pat him on the head and say, hey, thank you so much, but I think everyone is ready to leave the playroom now. That was attempt number one. Attempt number two, another event. Everything is hot again and the guy is clearly into me. We're dancing, flirting, the energy is there, but once we get into the bedroom, my husband has an amazing time with his wife and the only thing this guy does with me is finger me. I think he was embarrassed by his ED. He kept saying he had tried everything and once again failure to launch at this point i'm like okay maybe it's just group setting so we try at home with an mfm this man has an incredible body amazing chemistry and total confidence until my until my husband walked into the room and poof gone at this point i'm convinced i'm cursed like the sage the house call a priest light a candle curse now we're getting ready to go on the bliss cruise and i need to break this curse before we board here's the that really messes with my head. I genuinely care about the relationships and the lifestyle. So after a few days, I follow up with all three men and they're all incredibly kind and reassuring. Every single one told me that it wasn't me, that physically I'm amazing and that this is just performance anxiety. And while I truly appreciate the words of affirmation, it somehow leaves me even more confused. So my question is, is this normal when you're new? Is performance anxiety really discomfort? Or do I need to start wearing a warning label? Because I came into this confident, excited, and ready, and somehow I'm the only one not having the amazing time, my husband is loving the journey. And I'm over here like, wow, must be nice. Help a girl out. That was a great story. One, I like her writing style. She is excellent. But two... Well, first of all, she sent a picture, so I know who it is. And we have a group chat with her. So shout out. Hey, hey, girl, hey. But yeah, so very well written. Loved that she gave us like the backstory and some more information. I will say that, yes, ED and performance anxiety is that common. I think it's way more prevalent in the lifestyle than people realize. Yeah. And I think it's actually it's very prevalent with people, I think, that are new to the lifestyle. For sure. And I think it's prevalent because they haven't realized yet. You know, you come into this lifestyle, you know, you fucking your wife, you maybe you had some sex with girls in college or high school or whatever. And you're like, I got this. I'm a stud. It sounds so hot to fuck all these girls. And and I've never had any issues with this. So you come in full of confidence. And what you don't realize is having sex in college or having sex in high school or having sex one on one with your partner is way different than having sex with people you don't know. in public places or even just the anxiety of, oh, I'm going to go over these people's house and fuck this wife real good. You know what I mean? I'm somebody that's been doing this for almost 10 years now, and it's an issue. I think the older I've gotten, the more and more of an issue it becomes for me. When I first started off in the lifestyle, I was a single male. I was a bull. I didn't use Viagra. I didn't use Cialis. I just would show up to random people's house and have sex with their wife and I'm not gonna say I never struggled but it wasn't never really much of an issue for me to the point where I thought I needed to do something about it but us being in this lifestyle now in our 40s and engaging with lots of couples I would say almost every time we have an orgy or a group sex type situation at least one person if not a couple people in that situation are struggling with ED every single time yeah and I want to go like I want to talk a little bit about some of the things that had happened and kind of tell her what I would have done. I'm going to be honest with you, girl. It happens to me all the time. Almost every single orgy, somebody can't get hurt. I also think there's like, and this might sound a little, what's the word? I don't want to come across as bragging. But because we do have such a large platform, I think guys... You give people extra anxiety. I agree, yes. Because, oh, I'm about to have sex with Lacey from the Swing Nation, and if I don't do a good job, she's going to talk shit. shit about me on the podcast. Yeah. So that's got to get in people's head a little bit. Yeah. So I think I even haven't added to that. And so there's been times where I'm like, what the fuck? So I've learned to take my own pleasure into my own hands, to be honest with you. So for the attempt number one, where the guy just went down on you the whole time, I would have given him like five minutes, maybe 10. And then I would have been like how you politely patted him on his head. I would have done that. And you don't you you did a very good job at the end. But I would have been like, hey, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna go I'm going to go get a sip of water. I need to go pee. You don't have to tell him it's him. I'm going to go see my husband. Because he knows it's him. You don't need to say it. Sometimes they know. And honestly, a lot of times, if a guy can't get hard, that's his wife's problem. That's his wife's problem. And you'll even refer him back to his wife. Yeah, I'll be like, hey Dave, let's get your wife over here and see if she can help you. Because if Dan's struggling, I'm not going to rely on that woman to get him hard. If I see that my husband is having a hard time, even if I'm getting my world rocked, I'm going to remove myself and go and help him because I'm his wife. I'm his partner. I know all the cheat codes to get that dick hard. And so I kind of just that. That's why I also say that's it's a little bit good etiquette, right? Because listen, if you're swapping, especially on like a two on two type situation, right? A full swap type situation. If you're swapping with a couple, and your husband can't get hard. And or your wife clearly is not getting fucked by a guy that can't get hard. It's almost a little rude to just like the two of you go to pound town. Yeah. And just ignore the other couple that is clearly struggling. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it sounded like her husband was her husband was trying to help her. But that wife should have came and helped. That's more of like a wife thing, especially like with Edie and stuff like that. I would have given him, you know, I'd give him an old college try, you know, let him try and see. Because honestly, sometimes Dan's stick won't get hard. If he goes down on a woman and kind of not thinks about it, that will bring it back up. Same with attempt number two. The guy was clearly into you and he just wouldn't work. I mean, honestly, I'm going to give you five, ten minutes. And then after that, I'm going to go join my husband and the wife. I mean, I just am, you know, I'm going to take my own pleasure into my own hand if there's a want. Sometimes I don't even mind that I'm not getting fucked. If there's a wand, I'll go and sit on your face, like Dan's face while he's fucking the girl. I'll just, you know, like, and I don't mean that to be rude, but, like, I'm here to, you know, I want you to have this guy to have a good time, and I'm here to help, but at some point, it's beyond me, you know? And then her third, where it was an MFM, and they brought the single, it looks like a single guy into their house, and then the husband walked in and pooped. Yeah, that, That also happens. In that case, there's really not a whole lot you could have done. That happens. We've played with single guys, and the guy just could not get hard. Dan's even, like, walked out of the room to try to, like, kind of give that guy a few minutes. Some space, yeah. What ended up happening is, to get the guy up, Dan ended up just, like, joining us. Because it was supposed to be kind of, like, me and the guy. And Dan ended up joining us and, like, going down on me. And the guy kind of watched Dan and I. a few minutes and that kind of um that got him excited i think once the pressure all the pressure was off of him you know i mean yeah then it was able to work and that's how it is for me like if you are if my dick cannot get hard and then what naturally happens is everybody tries to help right i've even had two or three girls come over right and they're once kissing me and two are sucking my on my dick and but in my head it's like everybody Like, you know what I mean? So you're kind of, it almost like doubles down on the, um, the performance, the anxiety part of the performance anxiety. Um, and so it's never going to get hard in that case. What I like is when people stop paying attention to me and really like what you're saying, like if the girls go and start having an orgy with the other guys that are there and I can kind of sit and watch and enjoy it and people aren't like, there's no pressure on me to perform. Well, often then that's when I'll get hard again. And like you said, a lot of times what I'll do is like start pleasuring a woman orally or something like that. And because the focus isn't on my dick, I'm not even really thinking about my dick. I'm just thinking about like, oh, this girl is coming in my mouth. How fucking hot is that? Then that'll work. But I really think for me, removing myself from the center of attention is usually what helps me. Yeah. And so because of that, I kind of remove the guys from the center of attention. You know, I give them, you know, a little bit of time to try and see if it works. But I'm not going to suck a soft dick for 30 minutes. I'm not going to. You know, I'm just not. And maybe that's bitchy. I don't know. But I just feel like after so long, find your wife, figure out what's going on. You come back to me if it works, if it doesn't. That's okay. We can still be friends and we can still do other things. I've played with plenty of guys that couldn't get hard and we've done, you know, like they fingered me. They made me squirt. They went down on me. I mean, obviously they change it up. This guy seemed to stay down there the whole time. But I've ended up having just an amazing experience without their actual dick. And so that would be my advice to men if this happens to you. Because it happens to a lot. You can still have a good time without your penis. You know. As far as you, do I think you're a curse? No. I think it's just you've had an unfortunate. A series of unfortunate events. Yeah. You know, I think maybe staying away from playrooms. Maybe getting several couples and going to a room. And honestly, that's why I like several couples in a playroom and not in a playroom like in a like like a secrets room or a hotel room because let's say there's three couples if two of the guys dicks work probably one or not. And so you just kind of interchange out. That would be some advice. Also maybe finding people that have been in the lifestyle for quite a while that they have kind of conquered a lot of the fears that are... And I bet if you're newer, you're probably attracting newer couples. But finding people that maybe are on Viagra Cialis or maybe even have Trimix, which I do happen to know a guy who is... And she also said that her fuck it list was uncircumcised penis. So I do know a guy who can get hard, who takes Trimix and has an uncircumcised penis. Just saying. You know a guy. I do know a guy. Oh, good. Good to have references. Like her. It's like Yelp review. I can give Dan a good review. So yeah, I do. I think you're on the right track. And I think that it's good that you care about these relationships. And I think it's just going to take some time. And you're probably now in your head. And that's probably not helping the situation either. So I think on Bliss, we can remedy the situation. Yeah, and I think it's all those things. One, it's not her. It's 100% not her. And I do think, realistically, Edie in the lifestyle is more prominent than most people realize. So it's not surprising to me that she's tried three times and experienced it three times. And she's just very fortunate that her husband is not one of those men. You know, I think if your husband was struggling with it, you would probably be a little bit more sensitive. Not that she's not sensitive to it, but like I can get where she's coming from because there's been many a times I've been sitting over there twiddling my thumb and you are dicking down a girl, you know, and you are just going to town and having the best. And I'm over there like, save me. You know, so I can totally relate to her. She's very, and that's a good thing that her husband is not struggling, but it happens to a lot of guys. Yeah, sure. It certainly does. So, yeah, my advice would be it's not abnormal. It's more normal than you think. Welcome to the lifestyle. But yeah, you know, it goes back to this is why ED medication is such a prominent thing. And, you know, if it, I would suggest to any guy to try ED medication. And if you try ED medication and you're still struggling with performance anxiety, then, you know, taking that next step to TriMix is not a bad thing. And that's, you know, we've talked about that a little bit on this podcast where I've recently started to use TriMix a little bit in certain situations. And I'll tell you what, that stuff works. It's not something to mess around with. Don't be getting all drunk and crazy and then try taking it, right? It's a very serious drug that can cause very serious side effects. But if you are somebody that has been trying to use other medications, for a while now and have not had any success with them and you want to enjoy the space I think Trimex is a great option for those types of people and it definitely it's like Viagra on steroids so it definitely works so yeah that would be my advice and yeah get to know some people get to know people that have been in the lifestyle you know maybe find an experienced couple that's been doing this for a while I'm telling you you're gonna have a good experience eventually it just it takes a while to find your your tribe so to speak and honestly Honestly, it took us years to find a core group of friends. Even now, even after all these years, there's still some of them that struggle. Like I said, there's been times where I've struggled. Nine out of ten times, I'm good to go. One out of ten times, it doesn't happen. I've even had girls be like, oh, is it me? I must have done something wrong. It's like, no, I promise you, you did not do anything wrong. It could just be that we're in a playroom and there's a bunch of people watching us. For that night, that reason, just like... or whatever. You know, there's a million reasons why those kind of things can't happen. But the reason is not you. Yeah, I agree. But excited to go on the cruise. Yeah, we'll see you on the cruise. I have a feeling you're going to have a good time. Yeah. All right. Anything else on not being cursed in the lifestyle? No. And experiencing ED? It's something I think if you're in this lifestyle for more than a week, you're going to either experience it yourself or experience it with somebody else. It's very common. Yeah. And it happens. And it's just part of this. But I promise you, it's not you. And you're going to have a good experience eventually. Yeah, you will. So that's it for that. The only thing I can think of is we do have an event coming up in March. Electric Pleasures, our Atlanta takeover. We still do have a couple of rooms left for that. Almost sold out. The host hotel room is almost sold out. So if you want to come party with us in March, March in Atlanta. Go to swingersociety.net. Get your tickets before the room sells out. People keep every time. Last Electric Pleasures, we had people messaging us the week of saying, hey, can you get us a room? It's like, no, I can't. I can't kick somebody out of their room to put you in a room. So go book it now. For sure. And then after that, which we have secrets, it's been sold out for months. But the Bliss Cruise, we're about to go on the February Bliss Cruise. But if you are, you know, we've been It's been like a topic of conversation lately. So if you are like, I need to figure out what this Bliss Cruise, I want to go to Swingers Cruise. There is one in April that still has rooms available, which is pretty uncommon. Even the November one is about to sell out and they have the two beach parties for April. So I'm pretty excited about that. And we have a smaller group going. So that's kind of fun too. So if that's something that you're interested in, you can go to swingersidey.net. And of course, any of our other events we're going. to the sanctuary in Utah in May, Naughty in New Orleans. We've got a Hedo trip coming up. All the things that we do, you can check out swingersociety.net for all of those. And if you have a Tuesday Talk question, we would love to hear from you. A few different ways you can get a hold of us, you can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com, theswingnation at gmail.com, or you can call or text, and that phone number is? 9723027716. One more time. 9723027716. Okay. Well, I think that sums up this episode. I'll look forward to seeing you guys again soon at the next Electric Pleasures or Swinger Society party. Excited for Bliss Cruise next week. We've been nonstop. If you've been following us on socials, it's been one event after another after another. So I'm excited to get on the ship and kind of chill for a few days. Four. Four days. It's not very long. Chill slash have naughty sexy fun. Yeah. With hard days. All right. Well, I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, we have a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our You can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.