Tuesday Talks: Can You Be Too DTF in the Lifestyle?

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and Lacey. Tuesday Talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note? That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. We are. All right. Are you ready to get into it? Yeah. You don't even know. You don't even know what's about. I was back in the office working. I could hear a little bit, but I don't know which one you chose. I could hear. You would listen to them. All right. Let's see. Hi, guys. Long time listener. First time caller. My question for you is, is there such a thing as being too DTF in the lifestyle? We're very relaxed and outgoing. couple, but safety is our primary focus. That being said, sometimes it feels like being too open could be a turnoff or scare others away. We love having a connection for long-term friends, but also don't mind a quick pickup game, so to speak. Where do you think the balance is between being down for a fun time and being too risky? Thank you for everything you do. He sounded so professional. Yeah. We know him. He's a familiar person to us. But this is a valid question. Yeah, he had actually sent that to us. And we were like, that's valid. Send it on Tuesday Talk. Send it through the appropriate channels. So I'm glad he actually did it. And he sounded so professional. I'm proud of him. Right. So his question is, what is the balance between being down to fuck and open to fucking and connecting? random people that you don't necessarily have a good relationship with and how do you balance that with still playing safe yeah so for me even though we are all like if you're at a swinger event you should be on some levels down to fuck like if you're there you know you that should be your intentions for the most part i mean obviously if you're new or something like that you know i get that but i would say the bulk of the people should at least be open to that idea but i still Well, I think that's true. I think I would assume, and this is probably a totally different subject, but I assume that you're probably right that it's maybe 80-20. 80% of the people there are at least opening to connecting in some way. Now, I would also say it's probably 50% or less actually end up participating in some type of sexual activity. So that means there's probably about 30% of the people that are there came there to engage and do something and probably just ended up not happening for them. So, but I still think that there is an art to the chase. For me personally, and I told him this when he reached out to us, I mean, we kind of chatted about it a little, but we did tell him to send it through, you know, so we could do it on the podcast. I think, like, playing a little hard to get, I mean, and not, like, not playing games, but to me, if a couple just walks up and is like, you want to go fuck? To me, that doesn't make me feel special. That makes me feel like they probably, are saying that to a handful of people and hoping one of them picks up what they're putting down. And that doesn't feel good for me as a female. And I know men have different perspectives, but I want to feel like out of all the couples there that like I am kind of the chosen one or of the chosen few. And if you're just like throwing that dick around to every single person there, it doesn't make me feel that way. And so it makes me feel less eager. to want to hop in the sack with you. Right. I think you can't, there are couples and I think we've talked about this on the podcast before that, I mean, you want to feel wanted and needed. And when you see somebody go up to 10 different people and say, Hey, you want to go play? And they get turned down two or three times and then they come to you. You're not, you know what they're doing? You know, like it doesn't feel saying that that's what he's doing. Actually, I know that that's not what he's doing because we know him personally. He's probably, you know, like just kind of putting it out there early on. with someone and he's thinking, is that turning them off? And so, but at the same time, so this is like double-edged sword. At the same time, we've all been there where we've chatted with a couple or a single or whatever for, you know, like an hour plus and then come to find out they're soft swap or they've never swapped or this is their first time and they have no intentions of swapping. You also don't want to waste each other's time. So, I do think there's like a balance somewhere, between basically walking up and being like, so, you want to fuck? Versus being like a time waster. Yeah. And now, so, specifically one of his questions, though, is the safety thing. So, you know, if you're going to clubs and hooking up with random people that you don't necessarily know, you know, you may or may not take the time to then have conversations about, are you being tested or sharing those tests? Yeah. You know, at what point? Yeah, because truthfully, the people that come up and be like so are y'all you know interested there's usually not a whole lot of conversation around STD testing and stuff like that I mean obviously once you get in there you're probably discussing your boundaries I hope you are anyway but just as a like an observer of those situations I'm not personally seeing a lot of those conversations that doesn't mean they're not happening but um I don't know I can think of one instance we were at Paradise Valley which is like a nudist slash swingers resort years ago before the podcast And we literally walked in. We ordered our drinks. And we turn around. And we're standing there holding our drinks. Like barely even taking a sip. And this pretty attractive couple came up to us. And, you know, they were young. That kind of skews an older crowd. So it was exciting to see like a younger couple. And they were like, so, you know, y'all want to go play? And we were like, we literally like just walked in and had a sip of our drink. We were like, maybe later, but not like right now. And like 30 minutes, an hour later, we see them walking out of the playroom with another couple. And it's like, okay. So obviously they were just here to like get it in and then be done. But at the same time, isn't that what we're here for? So I struggle with this. I'm not giving clear answers because I don't think there is a clear answer. Well, I think, I don't know. I think everybody's play style is different. And I think it's, you can't yuck anybody's yum. So if there's a couple that their whole thing is to go to a swingers club and fuck as many couples, as they possibly can that night. And that's like what they want to do. I have no issues with that. That's not necessarily somebody I want to engage with. But I don't have a problem. But on the flip side, let's say they fuck three couples. So let's say the guy fucked three girls if there's no bisexuality. How is that any different than us going to an orgy room and hooking up with three couples in an orgy at the end of the night? It's really not different. It's more about the perspective, the way it kind of makes us feel, the way it kind of looks. Yeah, no, I think you're right. I think when you go to a club and you walk around to everybody and say, you want to go fuck, and then you find one, and then you come back and do that again, and then you do that again, it just comes across as you're being like, like you said, like desperate or... Yeah, but if you're fucking three people, I mean, if you're fucking the same amount of people, but I get what you're, I mean, I'm playing devil's advocate here. Yeah, but I think the difference is in the other situation, that's a group of people that you know, you have established, you know, relationships, that you probably, you know, you probably had the discussions, you know, you know, if they're getting tested or not, you know, I think that's different than just grabbing a bunch of random strangers and going and fucking them. And I think it's, and I'm not saying grabbing a bunch of random strangers and going and fucking them. That's really a bad thing. We've done it. It's a lot of fun. That's just not a play style I would participate in on a regular basis. Have we done it occasionally? Yeah. Is it a lot of fun? Yes. Is that something we do every single swinger event? No, no. It's something we've done maybe twice in our life, you know? And to be fair, there are parties, swinger parties. I'm doing that in quotation marks because they're more like sex parties. There definitely are parties that are geared towards this kind of play style where you kind of come in, you make a connection, you go play, you come back out, you make another connection, you go play. So there are parties that are geared towards that. So if that's your play style, find your people. Yeah. You know, where I think for us, the lifestyle is more of we like the social aspect of it. We like the community. We like the dancing and the partying. And then the fucking is just like the icing on the cake at the end of the night. Yeah. Where some people come to these clubs and the fucking is the whole reason they're there. Yeah. And they will spend a whole night trying to do just that. I guess for me, and I'm not saying that anybody else feels this way, but like you fuck me really well, you know? And like I know that if we don't hook up with anybody at the party, I know you're going to fuck me when we go back. to the hotel room. You know, and it's going to be good. I'm going to come. It's all going to be great. So, like, I'm actively seeking, like, situations that we can hook up with people and experiences. But if it doesn't happen, I'm okay with that because I know that you're going to go back. But I also think if we went to a swingers club or, like, a Secrets and all we did is spend the whole time in the bedroom fucking random people, that's not, like, you'd miss out on all the rest of the fun. Like, a lot of the fun is, the pool party and the flirting and the making out. But that's also what we find fun. Other people might find the fucking. Right, and I'm saying that our play style is we like the lifestyle. A lot of what we like is the social aspect of it, is the community part of it, is the hanging out and having fun with your friends. And for us, the fucking is the 10% of that happens. That's the end of the night kind of thing. It's probably like 10% of the overall experience for us. Yeah. Where some people, maybe it's 90% of the experience is the sex. Yeah. And that's why they spend 90%, you know, 80%, 70% of their time doing the sex. Yeah. Or thinking it out. Yeah. And we've even, like, even at Secrets, we've had our friends, we're like, man, they're going to go fuck somebody, like, for the third time, they're going to fuck, you know. I'm like, I don't have the stamina or the, like, I'm tired. I gotta go lay down. Your pussy would break. Yeah. So I guess then my next quote, you know, he asked, where is that line? So for me. I think everyone is going to have a different line. Right. I think everybody's lying for different. But I think if I'm talking about us, and when a couple is too down to fucking, it's a turnoff for me, is when it seems like, one, they're desperate, or two, if you think they're being unsafe, right? So if I see a couple, and the dude is fucking three or four girls in the pool with no condom on, they could be the hottest couple in the world, and then they come up to us later in the night, like, hey, you guys want to go to the play? Like, no, I don't want to go to the playroom. I've seen you put your dick in like five different girls and not wear a condom. That's, you know, cool, great for you, you know, but that's too far for me. Yeah. And it's the same. If I see a couple, I don't care how hot they are, and like kind of like the couple you mentioned, and they're just going around the club asking anybody and everybody to go fuck them, it's probably going to be a no from me. Yeah. And I'm not judging necessarily what they're doing. It just, like you said, I need, I want to feel needed, wanted. I need some kind of connection there. So if I'm just, I don't want to be just a notch on your bedpost. Yeah. I don't think anybody can yuck that yum and I don't think me and you can say this is where that line is I think that line is different places for everybody yeah but for us we want to form a connection and at least some kind of friendship yeah most of the time sometimes we're in a playroom and we just want to fuck and if there's a hot couple there and they're down to we'll totally we'll totally do it but for the most part when we're actively looking to connect with people you know at in the pool or at secrets or on discord we want to get to know you a little bit. We want to, you know, what are your hobbies? We want to know that, you know. I feel like kind of, when it comes to like the STD question and stuff like that, getting like to know a little bit about people and like their play styles and stuff like that, that kind of gives you a window into a lot of that too. You know, you kind of know, you know, because then if you're like chatting with them, like, oh yeah, we have one couple that we don't use condoms with, you know, like, see, they're going to tell you what you need to know if you just spend a little bit of time. little time getting to know them yeah or even in the car you're like oh yeah we got tested last week you know this weekend before we got here you know and that kind of puts the pressure on them to say when the last time they got tested what you know like so if they don't answer that's probably like tells you what you need to know yeah right but i think if you see a couple or a single running around the club fucking everybody especially if you see them run around the club fucking everybody and with no condoms and things like that or fucking on the side of the pool with no condoms and things like that to me that's that's too far that's too dtf you're now you're you're being irresponsible right yeah and that to me is where i i would draw the line yeah um now i don't care how big of a slut you are like if we go to a if we're in the playroom and you fuck six guys before you get to me but every time you switch a con you know i know you're getting tested i've seen you wearing condoms i've seen the guys switching condoms you know when you switch partners like i'm good with that like it's not necessarily like oh you fuck too many people and that's a turnoff for me it's i want to know that you're being safe yeah and i want to know you're you're here to engage with me, you know, even if I'm the sixth person in life. Yeah, agreed. Uh, okay. So I hope that helps answer your question. I think it's a good question. I don't think there really is. I think that line is different for everybody. And I think, um, you know, everybody listening is going to have to figure out kind of where that line is for them. And I think even that line could be fluid, right? Cause I think for the most part, we wouldn't engage with random people that are just looking to hook up, but you never know on the right day, catch us on the right night. If you know, it was quite, Right. Night on the club and there wasn't a lot going on. You just walked up to us and said, hey, you guys, DTF, we might take that opportunity. For sure. I think it definitely is a flexible thing as well. All right. So if you have a Tuesday Talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways that you can get a hold of us. One is you can send an email, and that email is theswingnation at gmail.com. We've actually had a few people start to record their voice, but email it to us as opposed to calling in. So that's a good way to do it as well. And another thing you can do is just call us and leave a voicemail. And that number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. You can also text it if you don't feel comfortable. You can. Text it, send us some nudes, have all the fun. Yeah. We'd love to hear from you. Yeah. All right. I think that answers the question. It does. I think with that, in a world full of apples, Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail dot com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.