Tuesday Talks: Bare Necessities, A Real Conversation on Ditching Condoms in the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl, and we are back with another rendition. Of Tuesday Talks. We are. With Dan and Wasey. That's me. Okay. I was waiting for a reaction from that. Better than that, I guess. All right. So you have got this week's Tuesday Talk question. And it came from what? A message? An email? A text. A text to the phone. Yes. From a guy named Wes. Wes. And he sent a dick pic, right? He sent several. Oh. How's it looking? It's a pretty good dick. I would prefer a little less hair. Oh, you need to trim a little more? Yeah, but I mean some girls. That's just my opinion. He doesn't need to trim from on my account. If he's getting action and girls love it, you do you. I wonder we've had, you know, we've had a little conversation about the bush is back. We've seen more females with pubic hair. I don't think I don't feel the same way for males. I don't feel like I just it's a lot. I don't. Yeah, I don't. Usually, if I suck a guy's dick that has a lot, I just cover it like my hand. Yeah. But you know, it's funny. I follow this like stripper on TikTok. A male stripper? No, a girl. And this weekend she was talking about she did, she grew a bush out and like shaved it in the shape of a heart and she got like tons of tips. So I think, honestly, that's pretty cool. I think like for that case, I would totally tip a stripper that had like a cool bush like that. Yeah. Well, I feel like, you know, because the girls were smooth for so long. Anything that's different. People are attracted to something that's different. I like things that are well taken care of. It doesn't matter if it's a bush or whatever it is. As long as it's tidy, I think that's okay. We got off on a tangent. It's got nothing to do with this week's question. No, nothing. Except for that you got dick pictures and he's got some hair on his dick apparently. Okay, but let's read this week's question. It says, when is it acceptable to go raw dog in the lifestyle? Where is it acceptable and how do You prepare if that's your plan. Thanks, Wes. All right. So Wes would like to know when it's acceptable to go raw dog. And if you're unfamiliar with the term raw dog, that's a kind of a graphic way of saying without protection. Yeah, I've heard bareback a lot. I've not heard raw dog a lot. So it's kind of funny. But I think full disclosure, this is the second time we've recorded this podcast. Lacey gets heated about this. Like some life events happened. And then we recorded this. And I like got pretty heated over the subject. And I really think it was more of like just life emotions. You just needed to release some tension. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I do. I feel very, very strongly about my opinions here. But I'm also going to proceed with caution because I don't want to come across like aggressive or judgmental of people that choose. to not use condoms. Hell. Dan and I were actually talking about it after. We've played without condoms, so I needed to slow my roll. Dan had to put me in check. And he did. And so I asked him if we could re-record because, like, in hindsight, it was probably a little too much. Okay. So let's get into it. So let's talk about this again. Yeah. All right. So the question is, when is it, say it again, when is it appropriate? Where is it acceptable? So I think the where, that's actually something we didn't, I got, we got went off way on a tangent in the last one we recorded. But that's a really good question because I guess if you, if this is something that you choose to do, would you think that like a play, to me, I think more of like a private situation is probably a better place than like a program. Oh, I don't think the where matters as much. Oh, you don't? No, I don't think it's like, oh, we can do this in private, but we're not going to do this. I think it's as long as you've made that decision, with the partners that you're engaging with, where it actually happens. I guess I'm thinking like orgy setting and like maybe like you have a partner that you don't use protection with, but then you use protection with other people in the orgy. That can be a little confusing. So that was my only thing. Like if this is something that you, like if you have a partner that you have made that decision to not wear protection with, to me it makes more sense to like go into a room and do it rather than like. If you really think about it, I mean, me and you have sex without protection in every playroom. Yeah. No, I mean, you're not wrong. Yeah. I'm just thinking out loud, I guess. Yeah. But I can see, I guess if you made the decision to not use protection with one particular partner for like a private reason, you would probably not publicly display that. I think like in orgy settings, if I'm engaging with a guy and he's not using protection with his wife, it makes sense to me. However, if he's engaging with other people without a condom. You might be judgmental of that. Not judgmental, but kind of curious. Like, you know, I need to be able to make the best decision for my body. And if you're using no protection with someone else and then coming to, I just kind of want to know. So I think in an orgy situation, kind of how we have our talks in the beginning about boundaries and stuff like that, I think that if you choose to do that, that would be a good place to share that. Okay. All right. Then I think that maybe is like the second part of the conversation, but what was the first question? When is acceptable? When is acceptable? Yeah, I guess we jumped around. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about that. All right. So let's just talk about this from our experience level, right? So if you're new to lifestyle and condom usage is coming up, right, you're going to hear us and several other content creators or educators say, always use protection, right? And I stand by that, right? I think that is should be the standard that in the lifestyle, we should try to keep each other safe. So that using condoms and getting regularly tested, I think should be Part of everybody's standard repertoire, right? That should be the default for most people. For sure. Is get tested regularly and use protection. All right. But now if we apply that to practical use, right? It's not always the case. I cannot sit here on the podcast and tell people all swingers are always being safe and always using condoms. They're not. Always, right? They're not. It's not happening. And separate from the swinger world, another world that we're very involved with, then we see a lot of non-condom usage and you actually had a recent experience with this yourself is in the content creator space right so it is very very common for content creators and adult porn stars to not use protection you just did a wifey scene and that was part of the agreement with wifey was that that was october but yeah yeah right that you would not use protection and that that was a mean you had to have a sit down real conversation about that and see if that was something we were comfortable doing one just for your own safety but But then, too, also because we have this platform and we talk so much about condom usage. We take it very seriously. So I didn't want to come across as like a hypocrite. And honestly, that's why we've chosen to wear protection in all of our content 99% of the time. We do have one or two cases where they're like the wifey. And we had another one where the female was very allergic to every type of condom you could possibly get. And we we made a decision. based on that. But 99% of the time, we always wear content. And honestly, we're very successful in the content creation world. We don't have people that think, oh, our content's not as good because we wear condoms. You know, I feel like we have still been very successful in still maintaining that as close to that 100% as we possibly can. Agreed. Yeah. So I think, you know, when it comes down to it, I guess let's explain. Why have we made that decision to stick with always using condoms? Even though we're getting tested regularly, even though when we participate in things like content houses, you know, everybody goes and gets tested before going into a content house. Why do we stick with condom uses? So I'm going to share the story. We've shared the story several times on the podcast. I think it's worth mentioning here. Dan and I had like our favorite couple. Every couple, it doesn't matter who you are, you always have your favorite, the couple that you always hang out with. And we had become This is prior to the podcast, everything. And I can remember one time him looking at you and being like, hey, man, we trust y'all. You don't have to use a condom when you fuck my wife. We're cool with y'all. We trust you. And so we just kind of rolled with it because we kind of felt the same way. We trusted them. We traveled. We've been friends for like over a year. She was in the medical profession. So somebody that you would think, okay, is knowledgeable of this. Yeah, and he was also a professional in his own right, in his profession. These were outstanding citizens, right? So we really felt like we could trust them. We knew that we weren't going off and doing anything that we weren't telling them about and some of that. So we kind of felt like there was this level of trust. And so we did that for a while. And our understanding was we would not use protection with each other, but we were using it with everybody else, right? Yeah, yeah. Or if, I think even maybe one other person, you know, like I don't. That's a trusted circle. Trusted circle, yeah. But not just, yeah. Anyway, so fast forward, we went on a lifestyle vacation with them. And we had not seen them in a little while. And then all of a sudden, we started watching them engage and play. And they were not using condoms, especially him. With anybody. With anyone. And was actively having sex with people in a pool where it was right in front of, you could see everything. And then we saw him going from lady to lady to lady. And these were not people that we would have probably engaged with, not judging him. I mean, you do you, you know, but like at least we're protection. And they weren't even people he really knew that well. No. Which was the more concerning part. Yes, yeah. So we kind of went back to our room and we made the decision. We're not, we never played with him again after that day. We just kind of made that decision. And honestly, it was a very big wake-up call. It was right about the time the podcast was starting. And so, and then at the same time, the podcast is starting, we're starting to learn about all of these STDs and STIs, and we're learning about, you know, everybody in the lifestyle says, oh, we get tested, we get tested, but we were actually, like, preaching it, and we were trying to spread that, and so it was, it all kind of happened about the same time, and I think the decision was just, we kind of felt burned. We kind of felt like we were taken advantage of. We felt like we could trust these people, and, like, we kind of saw how much they valued that trust. kind of firsthand. So that was the ultimate decision that led us to at the end of the day in the lifestyle. I can only trust Dan and Dan can only trust me. We still to this day have amazing friends, Daphne and Mike. They're our like best friends in lifestyle. We use protection with them every single time we play. It's not a matter of not trusting anymore. It's more of like you can only trust yourselves. You know, I agree. I agree with that. Yeah. And I think even on, you know, take that even a step further, you know, like you said, we've kind of dug into STDs and STIs and we've had in-depth conversations with different doctors and things here on the podcast. And I think it could be possible that everybody's getting tested and still not know if they have something. Right. So a lot of these STDs and STIs have like incubation periods. You know, I'm thinking about things like MGen. You might go out and you get a cleared test, but but maybe you don't have enough antibodies. you have already been exposed to something and you don't have enough antibodies in your system for that test to then pop hot you know or to to to recognize that there there is this bacteria in your body so there is a possibility that even with a clear test you know you could still have something and still be spreading it uh and that was you know hearing that from doctors was like i had no idea not only hearing that seeing it from our friends um beyond and not even our close friends like friends of friends because we have this podcast and because we are so and so frank and so honest about this we actually tend to find out when people test positive i feel like people trust us they come to us they know that we have a lot of people that we can help them get in touch with so they can you know get on the right medications and stuff so we tend to get reached out to and just watching people over the years kind of like how they've tested positive or maybe like one test positive but the spouse hasn't or vice versa it's just it's kind of been an eye opener for us and at this we just have kind of made the decision that it's really not worth the risk and and don't get me wrong we love our lifestyle friends we think they're amazing and we think they're great people but the truth is you really don't know someone just interacting once a month or once every couple of months we hope and pray that everybody is doing the right things but the truth is we just genuinely do not know and something else stuck out to me lately is someone i tend to like creep in the swinger reddit I like kind of seeing what people are asking what questions they have that kind of helps us like when it's time to come up with podcasts that we you know we need to record kind of like what are people worried about or what's issues and you know somebody I've seen several posts recently about like STD and STI testing and how like people are like we've been in lifestyle for 10 years and no one has ever asked us we do it because that's the right thing to do but we've never once ever been asked for it which honestly And lots of people were chiming in. It wasn't just one or two people. So many people chimed in and said, oh yeah, we've never been asked either. And so I just genuinely, I know that swingers do get tested. And I know that swingers use protection. But I don't know that they're doing it. The proper way. All the way. I think they have really good intentions. You know, I think they might go to the doctor and say, hey, give me a full panel. That doctor might not know what a full panel is. Not because that doctor is not smart, but because there's no such which thing is a standard full panel for STD, SAI. Well, and if they don't know that they're non-monogamous, what they're testing them for as a married person is probably different. Yeah, and then if you're not sharing it, you know, I mean, like, let's say, for instance, you pay $7,000 to go to Hedo, and you go get tested, and then it shows that you have something, but you know if you go, no one's probably going to ask for it. Do you just go anyway? I mean, there's just, there's a lot of, like, I don't know, We don't know these people. At the end of the day, even the people that we think we know the best, we genuinely don't know. And some of them, and we've even talked about this on the podcast before, some of them, you get an antibiotic shot two weeks later, you're good to go. It's not a big deal. But there's other, these infections that can affect your life, you know, forever. And is it really worth, like, 20, 30 minutes of bliss without a condom? And personally, from a female perspective, I can't even, I have to physically put my hand down there and make sure there's a condom because I can't feel, it doesn't feel any different for me as a female. So that's my opinion on it. Yeah. And I think something, you know, so that's why we've made the decision to always use condoms because one, you know, you can only trust your partner. And two, even with people with the best intentions that are getting tested regularly could unknowingly be spreading something. Yeah. Or even if, or if, if you don't know, them very well. They might get tested and then all the girls want to go out to the bar and start drinking and somebody ends up going home with someone and has sex and they're like, well, shit, I don't really want to go spend three or four or five hundred dollars to go be tested again. I'm just not going to tell anybody. Right. Because even when people are getting tested, it's not like the day of. Yeah. It's all these tests are days old or weeks old or months old. And that person could be like a really amazing person who just got drunk and fucked up that night, you know, and like that doesn't make you a bad person. That just means you kind of fucked up one night and that and then you've You've accidentally exposed an entire friend group because nobody wanted to use condoms. So, yeah. All right. So all of that is true, right? And that's why we make the decision to use condoms. That being said, you're still not 100% safe. No, you're not. Condoms don't protect against everything, right? Things like herpes can spread from skin-to-skin contact. Anything oral. There are several oral bacterias that can spread. We do not use protection for oral sex, right? Which is a risk. We understand we're accepting that risk, right? I think any time you engage sex, with anyone, non-monogamous, however you want to look at it, there is an assumed risk. And you just have to determine what level of risk you're willing to take. So you have to balance it out. Right. And so, I don't know. Maybe some people are, you know, well, we don't use condoms for oral anyway, so we're already at risk. They're not wrong. They're not wrong. And also, I can see, like, if you have a really close couple that you're, like, you know, they're your people and you, like, get tested and then go on vacation, together and you know nobody did anything else. I mean, I can I can logistically see why people would do that. I guess on the flip side, like I love having sex and I love having all of these fun, exciting things. But is it really worth like having herpes for the rest of my life? Not really. Yeah. You know, and so I guess, Wes, to answer your question is you have to assume you have to figure out where you want to assume that risk, like where you're comfortable with and who you're comfortable with. I personally feel like we've seen more and more non-condom usage lately. I don't know if it's just because we've done a few content houses or if it's just I've seen people in swinging situations like didn't even bring condoms and I've been kind of floored. And it's a little unsettling. And then seeing the Reddit post about no one ever asked for my test results. It's a little unsettling. But ultimately, the decision is yours. We're just two imperfect people trying to navigate this and give you our opinion the best we can. Yeah, and I do think that there is a way to do unprotected sex safely. Yeah, I agree. And wifey, I think, would be the example of that. Or even some of these content houses would be kind of the example of that, right? The best thing you can do is everybody goes out and gets tested. Nobody engages with anybody else and then goes to a content house. My issue is that is a lot of times these content houses, you don't know these people. You might think you do, but the truth is you really don't. you want to hope that you're all there and have the best intentions. You all really want to protect each other and stuff like that. But the truth is, again, you can only trust you and your partner. Right. You want to hope and assume that they're making the right decisions, but ultimately you have no control over it and you're just kind of at their mercy. No, I 100% agree. So can we wrap it up? His last part was if you decide to do it, how do you plan? So if I was him, if this is something that you want to do it, how do you plan? you really want to do. There is lots of places that you can go get tested. There is at-home testing. There is you can go and get tested and then have the results within 24 hours. I would say that would probably be in this situation probably be the best because if you mail that test off, you need to like not have sex with anybody else for like a week or two in order to get those results. They're not, it depends on where you use. All of them have different turn times. Something like I know my status or talent testing, you go and you have your test. like within the next day. Right. So it's a shorter window. Yeah. And I think for content creation and even for if you know if you're just a swinger that's looking to engage without condoms that is the best case scenario. Right. You want to try to narrow that window. Right. The smaller that window the better. So you go get tested you get your results quick and then you know if you get if you get tested get results and are at like a content house that weekend and there's only a couple days in there it's pretty it's less risk than it being weeks before you get results. Yeah. But some of them like I know like the state that we're in they give And sometimes we'll get those when we have like a month or so off and we don't necessarily need test results. Yeah. Like we'll do those just kind of like an in-between. And that can take, you know, like it takes like a week to get it to you. Then you do it and then you mail it off. And it takes like two weeks to get your results. That's a long period of I want to go fuck someone. So you just again, you're going to have to figure out what works for you and and make an educated decision. Right. And at the end of the day, that test is only as good as the minute you took it, right? As soon as you left that room and engaged with anybody else, it's no longer. And I've seen people see on Reddit where they're like, all a test is, is proof that someone cares about their health. They're willing to go and spend the money and get it taken. It really doesn't prove that they don't have anything because we don't know what they've done before it that hasn't shown up. We don't know what they've done in between that test and now. I think that's a really educated way to look at it. Yeah. So I think if you do make that decision to play without condoms, it's really about trust at the end of the day and doing the right thing. So I hope that helps answer your question, Wes. And I hope that maybe helps clarify it. If you are, you know, I think we could we could talk about STDs and condoms and all this all day long. I would encourage if you don't know much about STIs to go back and listen to the podcast we've done with like doctor store. We have so many deep dive into some of these different STIs and STDs because even I, Some of them are very confusing in the ways they spread and incubation periods. And, you know, if you've never heard of MGen and or, you know, oral, some of this stuff can spread orally and stuff like that. And I know that's some of this is new concepts to people, right? And so making sure people are getting tested for the right things in the right places at the right times is important. So go back and listen to those, educate yourself. And then, you know, the next thing I would encourage you is to kind of break the stigma that Lacey said. So what we started to doing is before we meet up with people, We'll just send our test results, right? We'll drop it in a group chat and we'll send it. Um, when we go and get tested, we'll take a picture of us with the band-aids on our arms, you know, the wraps on our arms and we'll drop that in a group chat check and being, and just kind of like putting it out there. Hey, we're doing this and kind of encourage people to do it. Yeah. If you make it just kind of part of your conversation, it doesn't have to be like an awkward, weird thing. Like, Oh, we're going to get tested. Like, Oh, that's awesome. And then they kind of give someone else a reason to be like, Oh, well, I probably need to do that. Yeah. Or we're going Friday. And then once your test results are like, hey guys, I don't know if we're going to hook up this weekend or what's going to happen. But just in case, I wanted to go ahead and send you our results. So that way, you know. Everybody feels safe. And then again, if you have results from someone, don't assume that that means a no condom. You always want to have a conversation. Yeah. No, 100%. Yeah. We have seen that. It happened to me. Group rooms where people try to slide in without condoms. Because they saw us at the testing facility. Right. Which I love that. we were all there but that still means you still have to wear a condom I'm sorry right yeah all right so hopefully that helps answer your question if you have a Tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you a few different ways you can get a hold of us you can email us at the swing nation at gmail.com or you can send us a audio file that way or you can call or text and that phone number is 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716 10-2-3-0-2-7-7-1-6. So how are we doing on questions, Lacey? We could use a few more. Yeah. Yeah, we could use a few more. Okay. So Lacey has the phone. I feel like last week I said we had a lot, and now I'm looking at it, I don't feel like we have a lot. Yes, I have the phone, but I'm not going to be... You're going to think... People are going to get mad at me because they're going to be trying to sex me, and I'm not going to respond to you. No, she's just not going to, yeah. No, I mean, I'll try to answer. I mean, I'm not. That's a lie. Are people trying to sext you up on the phone? Not really, no. Not really. I mean, the truth is, is I'm running some socials. So I have the phone. So I at least have to check it like once a day. And I'm seeing your questions like we've gotten. We got one Thursday of last week. We got two on Tuesday of last week. So they've all been really good questions. I don't know. Maybe I need to make Dan the graphic that says I got your question. Thank you. So I can quickly respond. I'm just. Yeah, I don't. I don't really want to like have it. Yeah, you don't want to get sucked into that. Yeah, I could totally see that. Yeah, I could totally see how that could very easily turn into an issue. And I don't I don't even have my notifications on on our social media because I don't it's a lot. It can become a lot. So it's no disrespect to anybody. I appreciate y'all. Thank you so much for reaching out. It's just I'm really I'm not going to chit chat. I love you, but I'm not. It's not personal. All right. Well, anything else for the swing? listeners? No, that's it. All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at TheSwingNation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to TheSwingNation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.