Tuesday Talks: AI Catfishing, Fake Abs & Real-Life Letdowns

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and Lacey. Tuesday Talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note? Perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. Talks. We are. Talking today with Dan and Lacey. Wacey. Some lady on my TikTok said that she cracks up every time she does it because her name is Wacey. Her name is what? Wacey. That's not a real name. It was literally her profile name on TikTok. Nobody's name is Wacey. W-A-C-E-Y is how it was spelled. They're trolling you. Maybe. Have you ever heard of anybody in your life named Wacey? I don't know, but there's a lot of I've never heard of. I'm telling you. There's no way that's real. Okay. I'm going to. If your name is Wacey, please send us an email with a screenshot of your name on your driver's license. No. You can blur everything out. Do not send your driver's license. Just send us an email and be like, Wacey is correct. Dan is wrong. Wacey? Hush it. Hush it. They're messing with you. Okay. That's fine. I'm just telling you what was said. Okay. Okay. Anyway, welcome to the show. We have a really cute email Okay Yeah So it says Hi Dan and Lacey The catfishing thing is becoming an epidemic in the lifestyle we found AI is the new filter So many profile photos are using filters that change the way people look and cannot live up in real life Only now it's even worse The last three couples we met both used AI to not only make their skin and bodies looked completely different, but even dressed them in perfect-fitting clothing and put them in an environment that wasn't real, but looked real. We suspected a small bit of trickery, but never realized how serious it was until meeting. One of the couples showed him with the chiseled eight-pack, and her was what we could only describe as a princess. When we met in person, he had a belly of being six months pregnant, and she looked like she could have been a distant cousin of her photo. So now we're wondering, is it not worth the hassle of getting ready and driving anywhere to meet because these photos never match? And it's just as bad when you go to a takeover because we make our decisions to go based on who's attending, only to learn once again the pictures just do not match. Question is, how do you handle the in-person meeting of an obvious catfish? We've never said anything so far and always just have a few drinks and then chat. and then leave and ghost them. And how would you move forward? Do you suggest asking for a photo from today holding a spoon upside down etc? It's not a weird and confrontational. Isn't that a weird and confrontational way to start a friendship? The bad thing is trying to just go to an event without run up without any run up to build momentum is quite difficult itself. So we like the idea of breaking the ice online when it works of course. Signed Frustrated With Photos. Great email, by the way. Great email. Okay, so there's a lot to unpack in there. All right, so the first thing they're talking about is this rise of editing photos with AI. I think this is going to be an issue in dating, period, not lifestyle only. Like, think about Tinder. Think about Snapchat. Oh, yeah, 100%. So this is not just a lifestyle thing. This is across the board, for sure. a few minutes on photo editing and the use of AI or heavily editing photos in general. Okay. So full transparency. We use that kind of technology when we edit our photos. Yeah. More so like to take away a bruise or sometimes like I do get a little self-conscious of my belly. So sometimes I'll have you like just smooth that out a little. But in no way do we change the shape or the face. We don't add makeup. We don't add. We don't do any of that. Yeah. We do smooth a little, you know, but it's more of like, let's just take away the bruises because I just got fucked. Yeah. And I, and I have, I have mixed feelings about this. Right. So I think, you know, photo editing, I guess with AI is a new thing, but photo editing is not a new thing. Like, you know, uh, do you think it's playboy covers, you know, Victoria's secrets. Every time you put a female body or anybody's body up in a public place, um, it's being edited. Correct. But here's the difference. I think with the new technologies, it's become much more readily available to your average person. Correct. Where before, you know, you would get things edited if you hadn't done by a professional. Now, just about anybody can download some sort of editing software. And in five minutes, you could be a pro editor. That's the difference here. No, I agree. And I think to your point, I think some of it's OK, right? Because honestly, if you take a picture of if I took a picture of you right now, the picture isn't going to do it. You know, like the color isn't captured exactly right. You know, so some level of like color grading and fixing and maybe, you know, changing the lighting a little bit to make you pop. Like, I think that's okay. Yeah, I do think for us when I try to edit your pictures and post them online and listen, people can go look at our Instagram page and there's probably pictures on there. You're going to say that's over edited or Dan edited and I do all the editing myself, right? Sometimes you get a little carried away and I have to reel you back in and sometimes you post a picture. I'm like, why the fuck didn't you take that? Why didn't you fix that? So it's like A little bit of both. But what I try to stick to is what you just talked about. I try to fix the colors. I'll change the lighting a little bit. I don't make your boobs bigger. I don't make your ass bigger or smaller. I don't tighten your waist. I'm not editing your actual body. And I think for me, the hardest part is your face. And this is why some of these AI tools, you run it through the tool and it just does what it does. Right. You can't really. It doesn't give you a lot of finessing. And if you're not you're not really good at it and you're not doing it a lot, you'll probably just run it through there and throw it up somewhere because you don't know how to fix that. Yeah. And I think that's the thing is some of these people are just using these automated AI tools that just do it a quick run over and they do everything all at once. And they're kind of stuck with that picture. You know, I've gotten better, like you're saying, finessing it a little bit. So like, OK, yeah, it's maybe smooth. You know, it maybe removes some of the black under your eyes, but it didn't like make your whole face look like a plastic Barbie doll you know I mean so you know I don't think that's what he's talking about here to take up for this guy I think what he's saying is when people completely change their image and they're posting them on these dating sites and presenting themselves to be that way but then showing up and and they're not that way so I think what you're talking about and what he's talking about is a little different right so my view on what he's talking about right if you are taking your body and you have a beer gut and giving yourself six-pack abs, or if you are an A-cup or a B-cup, and all of a sudden now you have double-D boobs. You know, if you're doing that, one, I feel bad for you because it probably means that you have low self-esteem. And you don't have to be in this lifestyle. You know, there is someone out there for everyone. You don't, like, you don't have to try to be something you're not because at the end of the day, you're going to show up and you're going to disappoint them. You know, it's kind of like the guy who tells everybody he has a big dick and then he gets in the a room and it's just average. You know what? There's nothing wrong with average, but if he hadn't hyped it up to be this massive thing, he kind of made people have disappointment. You know, if he just wouldn't have led with that, it's sort of the same thing. Just be you, you know? I agree 100% with that. So, one, I feel bad for you because I think you have insecurities that you need to address. And two, I think it is morally and ethically wrong to do that because you are catfishing. You are essentially deceiving people. in the hopes to have. A sexual relationship with them, right? So the only thing I can think of that these people must be thinking is, well, they probably wouldn't meet me in person if they saw the real me. But if I can edit my pictures and lure them in and they already show up at the club or the hotel or the dinner. Well, they already, you know, we're already there. So they might as well fuck me. I don't want anybody to fuck me. That's how they feel. When I was single, I've experienced this catfishing thing, right? And I assume it works for these women because the hardest part is like getting to your hotel room, right? If a girl shows up and you're already there and you're like, well, I could either, one, be really awkward and be like, you look nothing like your pictures. Get up the hell out of here. Or you go through with it, right? And I think what these people are hoping, and this is the experiences I had when I was single, is, well, if I'm already there and I'm already in the room, they're just going to go through with it. I might not be exactly what they wanted, but if I can get 90% of the way there, there's a better chance of them going. that next 10%. Which is sad. Which is 100% sad. But if it didn't work, I don't think anybody would do it. So I think there is some level of this catfishing trick works. Because otherwise, why are people doing it? Other than just the insecurity. I think it's the insecurity. Now, so I guess let's get to his question now. Because he said, one of the parts he asked is, okay, what do you do if you show up to a date and the person looks like that? You know, do you say something? Do you not? Personally, I don't think you say something. I think those people are dealing with insecurities and you being confrontational. and be like, hey, you know, I showed up here and you look nothing like, I mean, will it give you some satisfaction? Maybe. But it's probably just going to hurt them more. And I'm very sensitive to people's feelings. And I can tell Dan does not agree with that. But I'm sensitive. You know, I don't, could you imagine if we sat down to dinner and some guy looked at me and said, you know, I was really excited about coming here, but you don't look anything like you do online. And we're going to dip. I would probably cry right there in the bar. So I think in this case, for me, I'll let you give your what you think. But in this case, for me, I think I would just, you know, like it was nice meeting y'all. We can be friends, but. I'm not feeling a connection here. I'm not feeling a connection here. That's how I would handle it. Is it right? Probably not. Should we probably be honest? And I think like last week, we talked about being honest and being able to communicate in the lifestyle. And I do think we should be able to do that. But I'm also not in the business of, like actively hurting people's feelings. So I think in this case, I would just take it as a loss. And yeah, I don't think and I guess I have mixed feelings about this too, right? Because I don't think you're wrong for confronting them and say, I don't either. Listen, you know, person, you know, you you clearly, you know, have deceived us and you know, like, you don't look anything like the pictures that you sent us online. And because of that, I feel uncomfortable now. And I feel deceived. And I think we're going to step away. But I would I hope the best for you. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. No. And I think there is a type of person that can say that gracefully with respect. I would just probably cry as I was telling someone that. So for me, it just doesn't work. But I think if you can handle, if you have the emotional intelligence to be able to say that to someone, I think that's awesome. Right. And then the other, I guess you either confront them directly or what you're saying is just sit through the dinner, maybe get to know them. Maybe they are still nice people, even though, You know, physical attraction is not everything. So there is something to be said for sitting through the dinner and getting to know this person and maybe getting to understand why they feel so insecure about themselves that they had to modify their picture so drastically and present themselves that way to you. So there's nothing wrong with that. I also think, you know, what he said is they just dip. Like, they sneak away. Didn't they say something about it? No, they said they just, like, leave and then they just don't talk to them again. They go some after the fact. I also don't think, like, I think might be a better conversation for maybe like when you get home. Be like, hey, y'all seem like really awesome people. But I'm going to be honest, your pictures do not look like anything that you like in person. And I really, you know, and you could probably come from like a sweet, kind place. Like, you know, I don't really think you need to do that. I think you are selling yourself short, kind of setting people up for different expectations. I don't know. The answer is we don't, we don't know the answer. That's the answer. I think treat people the way that you would want to be treated. We don't try to catfish people, so therefore we wouldn't have this reaction. But still, no, there's probably some deep insecurities there that we're not aware of. Yeah, I think we even still to this day struggle a little bit of where is the line between brushing up your pictures and making them presenting yourself in the best way or presenting yourself in a deceitful way. You know, I still, I don't know where that line is. I kind of wish we all could just take raw images and post them, but that's not the world we live in. Unfortunately. And I honestly, you know, I still do think that if I take a picture of you with even the nicest, newest iPhone, that that picture isn't necessarily an accurate representation of you, you know, because the color could be off. Well, to be honest with you, I don't think you're the most photogenic, and I mean this in the most loving, kindest way, and when we meet people, a lot of times, they'll say to you oh you're like way different in person than you were you know so i do think that that people are just not you know so like and to get to the second part of his question and not to make this a super long podcast but like his question this next question is what do you do how do you navigate this like how do you meet people online how do you go to hotel takeovers how do you do this the truth is for me is you can look at a picture all day long but i'm not going to know if i really want to fuck you until I walk in and meet you. You could be the most attractive guy there and I could walk up to you and you could be like not my vibe. You know you could just open your mouth and start talking and I could be immediately like this guy even though you are so attractive but I could just be like you know what it's not it's it's not vibing for me. You could also be a mediocre guy maybe a solid six five and in pictures I would be like I don't think so but then I meet you in person and you're funny you make me laugh you're you're just like you're out there dancing you're having a lot of fun and then i would be like absolutely i want to fuck you and that's why i mean my response to him is dan and i have really gotten away from looking at pictures online and i understand what he's saying about like he uses the rsvp list to determine where he wants to go we don't do that we don't ever look at rsvp a lot of people do but a lot of people do and it's not a bad thing i'm not i'm not criticizing you we look at parties based on the reputation of the party itself. For example, is it well run? Is there security? Is the hotel, if it's a hotel takeover nice, is it a nice club? You know, what rules, what standards do they have? You know, what's the price point? I don't want to go to the cheapest. They also don't want to go to the most expensive place either. You know, there's like a good middle ground. That's really what we use to find cool and awesome parties and also talking to our friends. Like if our friends went to something last year, like, On the way here, we were kind of talking about this, and Dan brought up Purgatory. In Texas, we've never been there, but we have so many friends. Right, but that is an event that is on our bucket list, and it's on our bucket list because we have so many friends that have gone and been like, man, that was an awesome party, or man, we had a good experience there. So I do think getting a pulse of your friends and getting a pulse from the community of, okay, hey, if I'm going to this city or going to this place, or I really want to do a vacation this year, where should I go? If you get involved in this community, a lot of that word of mouth is way more more important than an internet posting and how many. Listen, I know there are groups out there that fake their RSVP lists, right? There's ways to do that kind of stuff. And I'm not advocating for it. I think it's terrible. But my point is you can't, you cannot go off of just the things you see online. And also people are going to change their mind. You know, people might click it, but not actually have not bought tickets or maybe they bought tickets and then they're not going to go or whatever. So, you know, honestly, that's how we, and I can't give you, I can't tell you what to do. I can just tell you what we do. So that's what we do. We also don't really message people and meet them at a bar or something. If people message us, and let's just say they are the finest couple out there and they really catch our eye, if they message us and we do actually really want to meet them, we're going to be like, hey, next week we're going to be at Trapeze, or we're going to go to Tempted in Louisville, Kentucky, or we're going to be at Naughty New Orleans and we see you're in Louisiana. Why don't you come? Then that way, you know, we get to the party. They don't show up. It don't matter. Right. They show up and we're not vibing. It doesn't matter. We just don't put a whole lot of, like, stock in, like, we're going to go out on a Friday night. And even, I think, and I do understand that we are very privileged and we get to travel the world and go to these amazing parties and not everybody gets that privilege. So let me say, like. It's not the most cost-effective way to do this. No, but let's say you're in your hometown and you find a couple that you're kind of vibing with. Why don't you and your spouse say, hey, you know, it's Friday night. Why don't we go to our local bar and have a drink, just the two of us? And then I'll message that couple if they want to show up and just kind of get a vibe check. And if they show up, awesome. We can meet them. If they don't, that's fine too. Me and you are just going to have like a little date night, you know? And maybe you and your spouse go to dinner and then after go and have a drink. And then if they show up and they're, you know, your cup of tea, you can be like, hey, you know, you like your pictures. I'm vibing with you. You know, you want to set up a time that we can really get to know each other. I think that's a good way. I've also seen, you know, like I know you asked about holding the picture with a fork. I've also seen people do like live video calls or FaceTime. I agree that is not the easiest way to start a friendship. But if your time, like let's say you have small children and your time is limited, it might have to be something. Yeah, I know, you know, because we haven't done this for a while, we used to use kick. And there was when you took a picture with the kick app, it would say like it gave like a little icon or something that showed that you got it was taken with the app until it it wasn't AI or filtered or whatever and I think Snapchat isn't there a way now you can do Snapchat? I think so and there's a way to like hey before we go and sit down you don't have to do it like you can rush around the subject you can be like hey we don't need to go out very often and before we like really sit down and do you care if we hop on like a 15 minute FaceTime call and we can just kind of like see if there's a mutual connection so that way we don't have to to sit through an awkward dinner if it wasn't. I think if somebody approached it like that to me and I was really into them and I wasn't afraid to show them, I would be comfortable with that. You could almost do the same thing like we do with STI tests. You could take a Snapchat picture or take an unfiltered, raw picture of yourself and send it to them and be like, hey, here's an unfiltered picture of us. I just hate it when people catfish us. I just wanted you guys to know what we really look like. It would almost like you're basically pressuring them to do the same thing. Yeah, so I think there's like strategic ways to go about it without being an asshole, you know? Yeah. But you could also be like, hey, guys, we have a one-year-old and we only get one night out a month. And the last three people we've met look nothing like their pictures. So we're going to send you this live video of us so you can see that we are who we are. And like, do you mind doing the same? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And there's nothing personal. It's just we don't have a lot of time. And I think that's okay, too. Yeah. All right. Well, I do agree that this is an issue it is an issue all right so I hope that helps answer your Tuesday talk question if you have a Tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you there's a few different ways you can get a hold of us you can email us at the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail you can also send us voice files to that email if you've recorded yourself or you can call or text and that phone number is 972 9723027716. One more time. 9723027716. All right. So shoot us a text. Shoot us a voice note. If you've got a message for us, we could use some more questions. So we'd love to hear from you. Yes. We can't wait to hear from you. Sorry, I was reading. You know, I said I would respond to texts. Somebody was asking for a link. I was reading his text because you asked me for the phone number. Any good dick pics in there? You're looking at the phone? No dick pics, but some pretty cute... The thing is, is people want a response immediately, and we're not good at that. Somebody was like, hey, we're trying to get last-minute spring break plans. Where are y'all going? The truth is, we're nowhere. We're going to lecture pleasures. They're going to Temptations. They book Temptations, which... Jealous. But yeah, definitely some cute pictures. Oh, he's a hottie. They look like Temptation people. Yeah. They're cute. Yeah. All right, so shoot us a text. Send Lacey some dick pics. Send us your questions. We'd love to hear from you. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? No, that's it. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation dot net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time goodbye That's so hot.