Red White & Screw Part 1: Fright Nights at Universal & Hot Nights at Secrets

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. A podcast by swingers for swingers. Where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. Today, we are back with another exciting episode of the Swing Nation podcast. We are. And it's secrets. Everybody's favorite episodes. Everybody loves these episodes. They always start out slow because we have so many days leading up to it. I guess we get always just to do Friday and Saturday, but... I think... You gotta tell the full story. You gotta get the whole story. Yeah, you gotta tell the full story. This might take two episodes. I don't think it'd take more than that, so... Stay tuned. Stay with us here. Okay. Okay. So, let's just jump right in. Let's do it. Okay, so, after Dallas, Dan was like, I'm not... No, Houston. After Houston, Dan was like, I'm not driving the whole way in one day. Yeah, well, so, rewind a little bit. If you're just listening to this, I herniated a disc in my lower back. I spent like three days in the emergency room. So when we drove to Houston, that was too much. No, yeah, you're right. It was after it. It was right after it. So it was just too much. So you were like, we're not doing that again. So we typically get to Secrets on Tuesday, like late. We typically drive the whole way there on Tuesday. our only day at Secrets is Wednesday. Because Tuesday is essentially just our travel day. So in order to get there on Tuesday, we had to leave on Monday. And you gave me shit. You were like, why are we leaving on Monday? And I was like, remember? You were like, oh, I'll be fine. I was like, absolutely not. I had like cleared our calendar, did everything to like make it work. So we left Monday. Yeah. My back is feeling better. I might be able to get back to, Let's not push it. That's how we get there, babe. You just want an excuse to leave a week early. No, no, I don't. So we ended up leaving like Monday afternoon. Yes. Like four o'clock. Yeah. We actually did a much better job of not procrastinating this trip. If you know us, typically we are loading our trailer that has all of our supplies and everything to go to Secrets or any event for that matter, like the night before. I actually had us like in pretty good shape. Yeah. I was pretty proud of us. Yeah. We were loaded up and ready to go the day before. Yeah. So we really just had to like get up. You had to finish some work. So we left, you know, early afternoon on Monday. We drove till midnight. I think I'm not sure where we stopped somewhere in Georgia on the other side of Atlanta or something. So we woke up Tuesday morning and finished driving. We got checked in. I think we ended up getting there like at six o'clock at night because we We didn't leave the hotel till like 11. Yeah. Like we slept in. Yeah. Once we got there, I didn't put this in our notes, but do we talk about it? What? Our friends that got in a fight. Oh. I mean. So we're not going to say who. How about that? Okay. We're not going to say who, but we love you. Yes. As we're pulling in to town, we're in a Snapchat like group messaging. And we're like, they're like, hey, do you want to go? There's, you know, several couples here already. Do you want to go have the Italian place? I'm like, sure. And the husband was like, okay, well, I'm going to go fuck this girl real quick. And I'm like, okay, go have fun. You know, I'm assuming his wife knows, right? I mean, why wouldn't she? And then we're literally like, like, we're checking into secrets and we get a message and she goes, oh, you you are. That's news to me. And I'm like, ha ha. I think I literally put like ha ha in the chat because I'm like, shit. You know, like surely this is a joke, right? She knows. And then I hear nothing. It's like crickets. And I'm like, oh, you know, I didn't really think a whole lot of it. I thought like surely she knows. Like surely, right? Yeah. So we pulled in and we literally like, we didn't even park the trailer because we usually park the trailer on the side. We just like dropped the back. There's a few things that we threw in the back. We were opening it up. As we're doing that, here comes a woman, butt-ass naked, running down the back side of secrets. We're like, what the fuck? You went and peeked in the room. I went and peeked in the room. They were having a very visible disagreement. Visible. He was in a corner. He was naked. His dick was very hard. And he was getting a lesson or a, what's the word? A stern talking to. Stern talking to. Yeah. And as I'm peeking in, they look up at me. And I'm like, oh, shit. You know, so I'm like, I run off. And then this poor girl is like, and her husband, her husband wasn't in there, but I guess that's, or maybe he was. I don't know. I don't know, yeah. He was totally cool. Yeah. And he was like, she was like, well, Well, at first I thought that was their thing. And then I realized that she was actually not okay. I just got up and left. And we were like, here, we're not even a part of this. And we're like, that's normally not like them. They're super good. They're super good. And she's just like, she's a little freaked out. Fair. As she should be. I would have been too. So we're like, okay. So anyway, we dropped the trailer. This is our welcome to secrets. We were like, Literally, I was like, oh shit. Shit's about to hit the van all weekend. I will give them credit, though. They really bounced back. They really did. So the rest of the story, what happened is apparently they were all in the pool and were planning to have an orgy with a couple couples. Yeah. And then he left to go take ED medication or whatever and somehow ended up starting the orgy without his wife. He thought they were all coming. Right. It was a miscommunication. Yeah. And. We ended up having a pretty heated argument, but somehow rallying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm actually really impressed. If that was us, I don't know if we've been able to recover from that quickly. Especially if people had seen us. And what's funny is I text Daphne and Mike, and I was like, oh. You know, that's who I tell all the juicy gossip to. I was like, oh, shit. This is how our weekend started. I'm like, it's going to be one for the books. I just know it. So that was our Welcome to Secrets, you know? So we get in, we unload, And then we're like, so I guess we're going to Italian? So anyway, moral of the story, if you're going to have an orgy with people, make sure your wife is there before you start that. Yeah, don't put your dick in someone's vagina unless you can see your wife. If that's your rules. If that's your... They didn't seem super clear on that. Yeah, I think that's the problem. That was the problem. But we were like, so are we going? And they were like, yeah, we're going. And they still went that too. It was them and two other couples and then there was a single guy that we're all friends with. The Italian place is still good. Speaking of the Italian place, somebody came up and said they were so excited. They finally got to go. They've heard us talk about it. They sat there for 30 minutes and nobody ever greeted them. But they were super sweet. They were like, I think it was just one lady working and she was busting her ass and I just think this was too overwhelmed. I will say, I almost feel like we should call her now. I know. Before we come. I know. Because I think our group, that restaurant has gotten such a following now that they're getting swamped now when our group goes. And I don't think they're ready for it. No. And they make everything to order. So even we went on a Tuesday night. And it was, I don't know, probably 10 of us, 8 of us, something like that. And it took us probably two hours. I mean, by the time we had appetizers and, you know. But she might have been the only one there that time. She might have been cooking the food, too, to be honest. Anybody else? Me neither. Other than her. And I know that DoorDash was coming in and taking food too as well. Now, was there cooks in the back? I don't know. But we never see anybody else. So if you do go and it is busy, just know that she's trying. And it's really good. She's the sweetest person. I wonder if you order it to go. It's quicker? Yeah, I don't know. Probably not. Probably not. But at least you're not like, I don't know. Maybe DoorDash. I'd rather have it there and fresh. Me too. I know. I'm just trying. So anyway. We'll call her next time. Yeah. And it was the night of the drag show, which we love. We try to go as often as we can when we're at Secrets. The last time we were there that we went to the drag show, it was outside because they were redoing the club floors. So it was back in the main club. The club. We love Twyla and April Fresh. They're so sweet and they're always so welcoming. We've kind of become friends with them a little bit. Yeah, they're so welcoming. One of them. One of them. I was like, whoa, Dan. That was quite entertaining for me. She called me out, though. That's what happened. And you were like, I'm not going to have that. You can't call me out and then have me not. Like, participate? Right. It was fun. I love going with people that have never been or not been in a while. It's like a lot of fun. It is. And we made a TikTok or like a video or took pictures. And I'm telling you, if you want to feel like the smallest girl in the room, take pictures. Oh my gosh. In the picture. I never realized how tall they were until that picture. Well, it's because they're like. In heels. Yeah. They're probably in the highest heels you can think of. And they're already tall as it is. So anyway, I love the way I look in that picture. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. It was small. Okay. So after that, we called it early. We were pretty tired from driving all the way. So we woke. Oh, wait. Forgot. No, that's Wednesday. Never mind. Okay, so we went to bed and then we woke up Wednesday morning. We are partners with I Know My Status, also known as Talent Testing. You hear us talk about it on the podcast. People, I think, are a little confused by that. They are. Do you want to explain that? Sure, yeah. Talent Testing is a company that if you're in the adult porn star space, you've probably heard about. But if you're not in the adult porn star space, and you're just like a swinger and you're like, what the hell are you talking about? What is it? Well, they do all the testing. So they do all the STI testing for the porn industry. That's talent testing. Yeah. Well, they've opened a new brand that's called I Know My Status, which is basically the reason it's a new brand is if you don't want to be associated with porn, if you don't want, you know, if you don't want somebody to see your test results and think you're a porn star, it's a separate brand. But it's literally the same people. And that actually is really important because they are some of the best in the industry at testing. Yeah. You know, if you think about it, the adult porn industry, takes STI testing very, very seriously because they should and they can get sued if somebody catches something on one of their sets. So it's nice to know that you have that level of testing with I Know My Status. Yeah, so it's literally the same labs, the same people, the same type to test. So their slogan is like, fuck like a porn star because they essentially test like their facilities in Vegas. We've never been. We're supposed to be going at some point. But like all of the most famous porn stars that you've watched, on your phone in your bed, you know, laying at night, they all go there. That's where they're all tested. And so it's really, really cool. And we feel super honored to be partnered with them. The really cool thing, and we actually got to learn a lot this time, is we've been to Miami, we've been to Orlando, but this time we got to go to Orlando and get our testing. And then we got to actually follow the samples, like our literal samples and everybody else's that had tested that day. We got to follow them to the airport and actually watch them get on the airplane. And these airplanes, it's a private plane, essentially. They go from, like, Tampa to Orlando to Miami every single day. And that's how you're able to get your test results. So we tested on Wednesday morning around 9. We had test results when we woke up Thursday morning. Right. They ran the samples that night. Yeah. And that's standard. That's not, like, We didn't get special treatment. That was how it worked. We actually even saw other people that were friends with that were going to Secrets that were there. So if you're going to Secrets, even if it's not for any time, it could be for anything. The cool thing is if you go in the day before, you can get your test and you'll have the results and you know your status. Yeah, it is really handy that they have that location right there by Secrets. And I can tell you, I don't know how many of our friends or just people that I saw walking around. It's like a badge of honor. Yeah. When you get your test, you know, they have that ace wrap and theirs is like branded talent testing. And so everybody was taking pictures of their talent testing ace wraps and posting it in like the Discord server and stuff like that. It's nice to see. And it gives you a warm feeling knowing that, hey, all these people are actually getting testing. They're getting testing by, you know, an agency that we know and we trust and we know they're getting the right test. So I think, you know, as hosts of that party, it was really nice to know that so many people there were taking it seriously. For sure. So basically, go back to our day. So we went, we were tested, we made a couple of TikToks and filmed some video in the lab, which I mean, not in the lab, in the like medical office type situation. And then once the pilot and stuff got there, we followed with the test results. And so if you see on some of our, we still have more videos that haven't been posted, but you'll see we've interviewed the pilot. I got to sit in the cockpit, take pictures. It was really fun. And to hear, like, and the pilots are, Like these young guys that are like that's their job. They just fly these samples around. How cool is that? It was nice to hear you know the one pilot was like you know well one I get to fly around all day which is my dream. Yeah. But then two he felt like he was helping people you know. For sure. And they fly around not only the STI test they do different you know they're a blood lab and they do different you know they probably are testing for all kinds of viruses and they're doing studies and you know he's helping overall for more than just the porn community. Yeah. But super cool story to hear. Yeah, they were really nice. After that, we went to the Mexican restaurant, which is on the same road as Secrets, which we haven't talked about in a while. But it is a really good Mexican. It is, yeah. We used to talk about if you go back to like our pre-Italian. That was our go-to pre-Italian, yeah. But it's really good. Yeah. It's just right down the road. It's like Caddy Corner. It's across the street in Caddy Corner. Right. Down by the Wawa, down that way, yeah. So we went and had Mexican, just you and I, which was nice. We came back in that, a little bit, mainly because we were going to Universal, to Halloween horror bullshit. I was going to say, why do you sound so angry all of a sudden? Okay, so let's tell the story. So somebody was like, hey, let's go to Halloween horror nights or whatever. And I was like, okay. I thought it was going to be like riding rides at night and like spooky decorations and fall snacks. The bulk of our friend group was confused on what Halloween horrors is. I thought we were going to have fall treats. I thought I was going to have a candy apple, maybe like a corn on the cob, a corn dog. They had all that, to be fair. Where? I never saw one caramel apple. I don't know about that, but there were snacks. No lemonades. There was lemonades. No hay bales to relax on. There was hay bales. There was no hay rides. None of that. All right. They had typical universal food. Yeah, I don't think that food changed much. It was churros and popcorn. Yeah. And cheeseburgers. Yeah. So anyway, so when they asked, I was like, yeah, okay, let's go. You know, I'm always down for doing something different. Right. Closer to the time that we got there, we found out that no, this was a fucking haunted house. Like one after another. Like, and apparently you're supposed to be an expert because like everybody, when we got secrets, they were like, so do you know what your top houses are? And I'm like, what? Yeah. I'm like, okay. So one, there's haunted houses. That's a problem. I haven't went to a haunted house since I was like a teenager and they were like church haunted houses. Yeah. Like, and there was some religious trauma there. You don't like scary things. I don't like things that jump out. Not only do you not like it, it seemed like half the group didn't like that. Um, yeah, I just, I don't like being scared for fun. I'm not one to want to, um. So, so explain what, It is Halloween Horrors at Universal. It is Haunted Houses. Yeah. So what they do is they take, and it's actually some of the rides, but it's really like a lot of the, I guess there's like stage areas where they shoot films or movies and stuff like that. I don't really know. And they turn all these areas into haunted houses. And when I say haunted houses, I mean, these are people that are dressed up in like professional makeup, professional outfits. These stages and these houses they make are, I mean, elaborate. Very elaborate. Yeah. There's animatronics coming out of the walls. This is high-tech, the best haunted houses I've ever been to. But for the most part, I don't pay money to get scared the shit out of. That's not a fun time for me. I would have rather been in the pool. Also, it was like 100 degrees outside and humid. And every haunted house that we went to, the line was at least an hour. One was like pushing two hours. We ended up doing two haunted houses. That's it. And then we had dinner. And that was basically our experience. And we were at the park for five, six hours. Yeah. And the problem is I bought some cheap-ass Amazon Halloween shirt. And it did not breathe. I literally... Okay, so another thing I need to add in. I've started testosterone. Shut up. Florida was exceptionally hot for some reason. I don't know if it was, there was a rain every day, which is kind of sometimes will make it not so hot, but the humidity was real high. And I'm from the deep South. I'm used to humidity, but I don't know if it's the medicine I was on or what, but I could not handle the heat this time. Lacey may be experiencing a little like pre-menopause moments. You've definitely been going into the heat flash type of realm here lately. It's like a heat from the depths of the devil himself coming up out of my pores. It's like, and like, I can't, I cannot tolerate it. Like before I'm like, I don't like being hot. I'm bougie. I don't want to sweat. This is a different level of hot. This is like, I might murder somebody if I, I physically have to remove myself from the situation. So I was kind of miserable. What did you think of it? I had fun. I didn't like the long lines. You know, I would have probably paid for the speed pass. They skipped some of the lines and stuff like that. Yeah. A lot of people told us. We were in a big group, so it was kind of hard to do that. There are also people after the fact said that you can book some kind of VIP tour. RIP. Huh? An RIP tour, which I guess is a VIP tour. But anyway, they like tour guides take you around and they skip all the lines. I would have done that. The lines were a problem because we were there like six hours and we only got to do two of the things. I also felt like they were kind of the same. Like we went through two different ones and like the decorations were different, but they were kind of felt the same to me. Yeah. But they were good. I mean, they, they, I mean, I'm not a scare easy kind of guy, but they jumped me a few times. I was scared of the employees that weren't even dressed up. Lacey went through the Halloween Horror House with her eyes closed, holding the person in front of her. Yeah. And then still somehow getting scared. You refused to even look at anything. Yeah, that was the second one. The first one I tried. You tried to look. And I was like, I'm done. No, I did. I looked the whole time. And then the second one I was like. I don't think you looked the whole time. Okay, I looked 75% of the day. Second one, I was like, fuck this shit. I'm in survival mode. Let's just get there. She literally, I mean, she would have walked into the wall had she not had somebody guiding her. Yeah. The gentleman who was in front of me. And I still think you got scared somehow. Yeah. The guy in front of me was a trooper and probably had my makeup all over the back of his shirt or what was left of it that I had to sweat off. And I'm behind Lacey. So she's holding this guy in front of her. I'm behind her. And as we're going through, I'm like. And he's coming through. He's like, woo! I'm trying to scare her a little bit. And then at certain times, I'm like, okay, babe, we're all out. It's over. And of course, we weren't. And so she like opens her eyes. No or not. I was so mad at you. I was over it. It was fun though. Yeah. Now I will say the best thing I liked is the people on the street. Yeah. So not only is there. The people on the street were really cool. So not only are there haunted houses that you go through but they've decorated the streets of Universal with there's like they call them like scare zones. Yeah. So there's like certain areas you walk through where there's people that are again dressed up in decorations and stuff and even when we went and got the hamburgers there was people carrying around like They were scaring people carrying around fake food trays that had body parts on them trying to scare you while you're waiting in line for your hamburger. Yeah, it was just nonstop. I don't like the chainsaws. There is a fear in me that feels like if there's a chainsaw coming after you, you should run. I know logically there is no blade or whatever it is on there, but I can't convince my mind not to run. But I did like the people in the streets. They were, I think because we were out in the open. and I was so close off. You weren't like sourced through a tunnel? Yeah. I could look at them and like really see their makeup and stuff. I really like that. I will say I did not ride one ride and I did not have one fall treat. But I did get a t-shirt. Yeah. You did get a t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. So it was interesting. I would do it again. If I did it again, I probably would pay the upgraded fee so that we could do more quicker. And I would do it in October. I bet it's worse though. The closer you get to Halloween, I bet the busier it is. The temperature. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was just so hot. Yeah. Or I would wear tank trot. But if you are a Halloween person, and if you like being scared and things like that, I would assume this is probably one of the best places in the country to go for that. I thought it was going to be like, Mickey's not so scary Halloween. It was not. It was the vibes I was with. They were full scary. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so we did that. And then we came back. And I mean, like, I immediately had to get in the shower because I just felt disgusting. And Daddy Mike and Daphne got in around midnight. We had not seen them since my dad's funeral. So since like June. Yeah. So it was super exciting to see them. We ended up staying up till like three o'clock in the morning just chatting. Yeah. I will say this is the first Secrets without Harley. Aww. And it was a little sad. It was sad. Yeah. If y'all don't know, their dog passed away and she was a big part of the squad, the group. So we miss her. Mm-hmm. She's usually in the room crawl. So if you've ever been to the room crawl at Secrets and walked through, you've seen her. She passed away. Anyway, that's sad. So that was Wednesday. You want to take a break and then do Thursday? Yeah, I think now's the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. And then when we get back, we'll get into what happened Thursday night. Lacey, if you're going to be a swinger, you need to be a responsible swinger. I agree. And part of being a responsible swinger is getting tested on a regular basis. Yeah. Now, something I didn't know is not all STI, STD testing is the same. That is correct. Not every family doctor fully understands how you should be getting tested. That is correct. What one doctor thinks is a full panel, another doctor may have a completely different version of that. in the lifestyle and engaging with multiple partners, what you should be getting tested for is probably, if you're not telling your doctor that, what you should be getting tested for is probably different than what they're thinking in their head. Yeah, because they don't know your lifestyle. Or even if they do know your lifestyle, there's a, like, for instance, there is a new one called MGen. And we just recently met a doctor at a lifestyle party and said that she had never even heard about it. And so she was awesome that we had educated her on that. So a lot of these doctors, they don't know it all. Right. So if you are going to participate in the lifestyle, you probably need to get tested from people that are meant to do this. Yes. So we use I Know My Status. We do. It's the same people behind Talent Testing. It's a company that tests all the porn stars. So they're used to testing people that engage with multiple partners. They know all the latest on what STIs are coming up and spreading. and they track all the stats. I mean, they know how to test people for STIs. They're the experts. They are. And if someone that you engage with, you know, if they have used I Know My Status, they can actually give you a QR code and you can scan it and you can see their results right on your phone. So you can confirm everything that they're telling you. Yeah, 100 percent. So please, if you're getting tested, get tested the right way. We recommend using I Know My Status. You can go to theswingnation.info. Recommended Apps and Products. Scroll down to the I Know My Status icon and you can get a discount off your first test. But please, if you're being, if you're swinging, if you're engaging with people in the community, please be safe about it. Go get tested. Yeah, because we want you to fuck like a porn star. For sure. Lacey, the question we get asked on social media and TikTok more than any other question is how do I find lifestyle people, lifestyle events, lifestyle parties, lifestyle cruises? Yeah. Lifestyle People? I think I already said that. Yeah. In my area. Basically anything lifestyle you need. How do I find it? You need to get on a Swinger website. And SDC is one of our favorites. It's really big here in the Southeast U.S. for sure. Yeah. And it has all the clubs listed. It has all the parties listed. You can find information on cruises. You can find our podcast on SDC. Yeah, you can. And if you want to try it completely risk-free, we have a free trial link for you. We do, yeah. that free trial link. If you go to theswingnation.info and scroll to the bottom, you're going to find some of our favorite products and brands, and you're just going to click that link and go straight there. All right. If you guys want to find lifestyle people in your area, go sign up for SDC, completely risk-free, and see if it works for you. I agree. All right, guys. Go check it out. Lacey, one thing I don't leave home without when going to a swinger event is, that has Viagra and Cialis in it. So that one, you can be ready whenever, but also it's got that dose that you can take as you're getting ready to go to the playroom and you need that to kick in. So I love it. I mean, I used Hedo for the first time and that combination. You've kind of pretty much switched to that, haven't you? That's basically what I use all the time now. So if you're looking for ED medication, if you're new to the lifestyle and you're going to an event, you might want to get some and have it just handy in case you need it kind of thing. And the really cool thing about Shameless Care is they don't set you up on a reoccurring plan. So you're not going to get all of this ED medication that you have in your nightstand built up. When it's time that you need more, you'll get an email from them and they'll ask you, hey, are you ready for another round? And you can respond back. Yes, please refill it or no, I'm good right now. Thank you. So it's really cool because you don't end up with all these extra pills and spend a bunch of money that you're not, you know, you don't need to spend. Yeah, and my favorite part is you don't actually have to go into an office and talk to your family doctor or a military doctor. You can do it all right online from the privacy of your home. You just go to the website, you fill out some forms, the doctor reviews it, approves you, disapproves you, and you move on from there. So if you would like to get some medication, you can go to theswingnation.info, click on the little recommended apps and products, scroll down to the shameless care icon, click on that, and that's going to take you over there. There's some discount codes there for you so you can get a discount off your first order. But I highly recommend if you're going to some events or parties, go get you some lifestyle insurance. All right, guys. Check it out. All right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. Thank you for listening to our sponsors. We love our sponsors. We do. All right. So when we left you, we had just got back from Hollywood. Halloween horrors. Horror is right. And spent all night talking to Daphne and Daddy Mike. And that brings us to Thursday. So Thursday is like our official work day. Yes. We started unloading at 10 a.m., which is really early. I don't know who picked that. Well, we have to start early because, you know, we roll right into it after that. I know. It's like the calm before the storm, like a hurry up and wait. Like, we do everything, and then we get there, and then we have to wait, and then we, like, hurry up and do everything. It's just, I don't know. It's hard to explain. Well, I would say Thursday has become its own animal. You know, it used to be Thursday was just set up, and we didn't really do anything, but now Thursday is, I mean, it's pretty much a full day of, you know, of things. Well, it used to be nobody was even there until Thursday, and now we have, like, multiple people there on Tuesday. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. It's eventually, somebody even made the comment, like, it's going to be a whole week before we know it. Yeah. Which is funny, because people keep adding days, and we do surveys after every event, and several people are like, can we go back to two nights only? And I'm like, wait, people keep adding, which Secrets does require us to do. We have no choice. It has to be a three-day event to do a takeover. So what we hear you, and we do get that people, it's like mixed. Some people just come in Friday and Saturday because they have to work, and that's all they can get away. And the other people make it a whole damn week vacation. Okay, so we unload at 10 and we got everything set up. It was really hot. I feel like the DJ stuff has just become its own animal. And I feel like where before you were like a major part of set up for other stuff, you are like contained to the DJ stuff now. True. We need an official roadie. We do. We do. We're working on that. Yeah, we're working on that. We're probably going to move in that direction of having a couple of roadies, or maybe almost like dedicated roadies. Because I think the production side of things is just going to keep getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, I mean, it took us every part of two plus hours to get everything set up. Now, I will say, shout out to all the people that help us every time. And it's not always the same people, but it's generally the same people. Some people come and go. And honestly, if it wasn't for y'all, we would, I would, well, we would get it done. It would just take us like six hours instead of two. So like we really appreciate y'all. We realize that a lot of y'all are not getting paid. We're just there to help. Listen, it's hot as fuck out there. Like you think Florida in September? No, it is still hot as a motherfucker out there. It is like I was dying. A couple of times I snuck to the room for like three minute breaks. What? I was literally like drenched. I didn't get no breaks. I would like go for like a couple. Listen, Depths of hell, heat. I was not surviving. Is that Florida or is that the menopause? I think it was a combo. I think it was a combo. Yeah. I spent most of my time setting up the DJ space. So this time, we actually brought all of our own DJ equipment. So if you've seen that, we got LED walls and lasers and we actually got our own speakers and stuff now that are pretty nice. And so we actually put all that into the stage there that's under the Tiki Hut, which made a pretty nice setup there. Yeah, because I've even heard people say, like us compared to iCandy, which we're different. We're friends. We love iCandy. We love going to iCandy parties. I think we both offer something different. People said that they really like the vibe of iCandy because you could either go in the club or you couldn't be outside, you know, because the club, some people are not like club people or it might just be too packed in there. So I really was excited that this time we were able to move it outside into the Tiki and offer a little bit more for the people that maybe don't want to be in there. Yeah. I think that was a nice, nice vibe. Yeah, and that's all, Dan. That's been your, like, 2025. It started late 2024, but that's been your whole thing. It's been a slow progress. I mean, we don't have endless supply money, so you had to, like, work. Slowly, yeah. Yeah, work towards it, but you've done a very good job. Thank you. You're welcome. So, after we got everything set up, we went back and rested and cooled off a little bit, but really, it was, like, by the time we, like, you didn't come in until, like, two, I think. I don't think I got to rest or cool off. I think I got maybe to come back and change and shower real quick. Yeah and then basically that's what we had to do. We had to roll right into meet and greet games. Yeah meet and greet. I mean actually I went to the pool for a little bit. I rested but then went to the pool for a little bit. Okay so I ordered us dinner. We had Jersey Mike's DoorDash. That's our what's the word I'm looking for? Pro tip? Pro tip DoorDash? We DoorDash. We don't have time. Like a lot of people, and this is where the problem, somebody said they waited 30 minutes. A bunch of our friends were going to dinner to the Italian place and waiting for like hours. So it's like 10, 15 people would go in a group and that's just, they get overwhelmed. And so we just, as much as we want to go and eat with our friends, we just don't have time. So we door dash or we, I will order groceries and have like turkey and cheese. So if we have to grab something quick, we will. So this night we had, Jersey Mike's. But we got ready for the meet and greet. So let's talk about this year's meet and greet games. We did the bingo cards, which we've done the last few times. People seem to really love those. That one always goes over the best. Yeah. So it's essentially, if you've never been, it's like a card and it has like all of these different things. And it basically forces you to talk to people to ask them what they've done. And it could be something as simple as like how to threesome. It could be go to Hedo. Are you a content creator? Have you done airtight? So it makes people talk to each other. People seem to really like it. I like that game too. Because you do have to go around and talk to people and ask them what they've done. And then when you talk to somebody and you're like, oh, you've sucked two dicks at the same time. Now you know, like, oh, this girl's a little dirty. I don't think people are paying attention to that. I think they just want to win. I think they're like, two dicks, sign here. I think it's a mix. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's a the male versus female thing. But if I go up to you and you're like, yeah, I've sucked two dicks, like I'm mentally noting that in my head. I always try to find people's and I always try to pick the hardest thing. Yeah. Because I've done a lot of it. It's like they're like, go find Lacey. She's the biggest whore. Basically. Yeah. And then after that, we did speed dating, which super proud. Normally we have to like pull people over. Yeah. So many people want to do speed dating. Yeah. Do we do two rounds? I don't remember. But we definitely had probably our best speed dating turnout. I don't think we did two rounds because I think it rolled right into the drag queen bingo. Yeah. So the drag queens apparently on Thursday. I think because the first round was so big, it basically took the time of two rounds. Gotcha. So they used to do bingo on Thursdays. I don't know how to say this without being ugly or being rude. It was like a little older couple. They were precious and sweet, but it didn't really Like, grab your attention. Right. Does that make sense? It makes perfect sense. So some, I guess somebody got the great idea to ask Twyla Holiday to host it. Now, she's not Twyla. She's, how do you say this without getting canceled? She's the male form of Twyla. Right. She's not in drag. She's not in drag. Right. Okay, thank you. But still equally as funny. Yeah. Oh my gosh. He is, like, hilarious. I don't know where he comes up with this shit. So anyway, we, they did, like, several grouped our meet and greet games in with the bingo, which thank you. We did do it. Secrets did. But it really worked well. I think before the bingo and our meet and greet games kind of like clashed a little. It just didn't go together. It 100% went together in like just kind of one rolled into the next. Everybody was like sitting at tables and chatting and getting to know each other. So I thought it was like the perfect opportunity. But the way it worked is, you know, because everybody was doing the speed dating, everybody was in the Tiki Hut under the, you know, under the Tiki Hut sitting at tables doing the speed dating thing. And then basically the bingo started. Everybody's sitting at the tables. So they just went around and passed out bingo cards and just kept going, which really made it feel good. It was fun. And then they were giving away free drinks. I don't know. It was Justin was the bartender and he was not Justin. Is his name Justin? I don't know the bartender. Anyway, there's the bartender was really nice. He actually came up to me and was like, I really like y'all's which made me really proud of our friend group. We have a good reputation at Secrets. Yeah, they like us. With the staff. Yeah, they like us. So that was it for the meet and greet games. After that, we switched to the DJs. And we had three DJs at Secrets. Four. Four. I forgot about you, baby. No, thanks. Yeah, we ran four. Was that a real life? No, it's okay. You can forget about me. Well, I was thinking I was... You know what I mean. Right. I don't really count. I'm thinking three new. I said new DJs. You count, but you've DJed at Secrets. Okay. Officially. Fair. Yeah. No, this is good. So it was myself. Yeah. Juan Deepa, who you know about. He was at Houston. He actually has DJed at Secrets before. A little bit. Not much. He kind of like helped out a little. Yeah. And then Justin Time, who you know, he does a lot of the splash events. He actually had a lot of sets at Naughty and New Orleans. And then we brought in a new DJ. Well, she's not new. She actually is like a real DJ who DJs for a living. She's one of the few like full-time DJs that does it every night that I know about. And her name is Sophie. Yeah. Which, okay, so let's talk about Sophie. First of all, she is like super fun because she is a girl. And she played all of the girl songs that we like love to sing along to. She called it Girl Bop. Oh, she came, she was first. Yeah. And it like, was exactly what the party needed. She had all of us girls out there singing. It was like very few men out there. It was just like all of us girls. And it was like the perfect like icebreaker to the icebreakers, you know? Yeah, I agree. And then Justin came on after and he killed it. He is awesome. Him and his wife are just so precious. We just got home from Splash Fort Lauderdale and they're just like the sweetest things ever. They really are. I mean, just so precious. And then, Who DJed next? You? Me, Justin, and Sophie. We kind of all took turns. Oh, okay. And then Juan was like, I guess, the headline. It was a great move. That's one thing that we got a lot of feedback after Secrets. They really liked the music. And the cool thing is because Juan Diva is very EDM, where Just In Time is more hip-hop. And you're kind of somewhere in the middle, I would say. So I think it really gave something for everyone. Like if you could just kind of hop. And that's really what I did. I was also dying of a heat stroke. But in between those times, I would like dance a little and then, you know, cool off and then dance some more. Right. So to be fair, it's really the first time we had what I would consider a dance party on Thursday night. You know, usually we DJ by the pool. And it's more like people are just kind of meet and greeting and talking. But nobody's really dancing. It's just kind of like a meet and greet. where Thursday under the Tiki Hut, it actually got pretty packed out in there and was a pretty good little party. I think we've always wanted Thursday to be that. It's just kind of hard to get people to dance. Pool fight. Yeah, when they're. And we get a lot of requests for doing like a pool party at night. That's a very hard thing to do. To like people to be partying in the pool at night and dancing. What if we did a foam party? I've thought that for years. Thursday night. I've thought that for years. I have to think about that for next time. Yeah. But so I thought Thursday was the best Thursday that we've had at Secrets. I feel like it's really been community driven. Y'all, every time we do a Secrets, y'all tell us in the surveys what you like, what you don't like. And we seriously take that to heart. Because like before, we didn't do meet and greet games. And then people were like, more meet and greet games, more music. We just keep adding and keep Like, last time they were like, we want the merch tent to be open. So this year we had the merch tent open. Because some people can't come on the weekends, but can come on Thursday night. So when we send out the survey, if you have things that you really genuinely think that we can improve on, we would 100% love to hear that. Because I think thanks to people telling us, we've gotten better. Yeah. Because we didn't just think of it on our own, you know? We're learning here, guys. I did all of this. We learned as we went. We have never claimed to be lifestyle throwing parties experts, but we just learned it as we went. I agree. Okay. So at some point in the night, I was like, I'm too fucking hot. I'm going to bed. Okay. And I was like, Dan, I'm going to bed. You're like, okay. Well, I knew I was going to the room. So I went in the room, I showered and I ended up like laying there. It was like, I knew, I think you had to shut down at like two or something. Music goes till two. At one something, I was like, what if Dan is out there and he's falling in love with somebody else? Which is ridiculous. I was not, did not take any gummies. I mean, I probably had like a drink hours before. So I text you and I was like, I miss you. Come fuck me. And then all of a sudden you showed up. I didn't even see that text. I know. I was like, I texted you. Did you get it? And you fucked the shit out of me. And then you went and then you finished up, turned the music off. and then came back. Yeah, so about 1 a.m. the party had died off. Most people had went to go fuck. And so what I did is I just put a playlist on and I was like, you know what? I could kind of use a good fuck. Yeah. So I went and found my wife. You did. You fucked the shit out of me. Yeah. I saw it. So that was our Thursday. That was Thursday. We have 20 minutes left. What do we do? You want to get through Friday day maybe? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. So we woke up. I had to get up pretty early Thursday. Friday morning, I'm sorry. Wings of Glory was there. And we try to schedule. If you don't know who Wings of Glory is, they are our photographer that we hire to do boudoir sessions during Secret. So you can do them in your room. You can do them in their room. They're pretty awesome. They also take pictures. They shoot our party. They shoot our party. So we use a lot of it for promos and stuff. They've shot us for our podcast cover photos. I don't want to say there are photographers, but they are our photographers of choice when we need professional photos done. Yeah, like if we need something upcoming, we hire them. Like the picture that you're seeing on your phone or your screen in your car, they take that. So we have their pictures framed in our bathroom. We just, we really like their work. Some of the best boudoir photographers, you've had several people shoot you over the years. They're our favorite. They are by far our favorites. Yeah. So we try to shoot with them whenever we go to secrets. For some reason, this time we just didn't have it lined up. She had texted me the night before and was like, hey, I have this really good room and I need somebody for this, like a couple for this certain shot. Are you and Dan free? I'm never going to turn down photos. And I was like, I will make it work. So she wanted me to be in there at like 10 or something like that. So I get up, get completely ready. And I'm like, okay, let's go. And you were like, absolutely not. I can't go. I can't go. And I'm like, oh my God. So I go by myself. And I was like, Dan said he can't come. She's like, okay, well, let's just figure, we'll figure it out. So she took some pictures. And then like, she kind of showed me what she had in mind for you and I. And I text you and I was like, I need 10 minutes of your time. And so you ran down there. Literally, it took 10 minutes. Yeah. And which, we haven't put the pictures on our Instagram because. We just got them like yesterday. And they're a little risky for our, for our page. We don't want to jinx it. There's some in there. I'll use some of them. Yeah. Wings of Glory boudoir. You can go check them out. They're really good. So after Dan left, I stayed back and took some pictures and made some reels and TikToks and stuff with several of the other girls. Since I was already in makeup and everything, I just jumped in a few things. I was probably in there for about an hour or so. I came back after that and got ready for the pool. And I've hung out in the pool pretty much all day Friday. I had a great time Friday. I didn't mind the heat as long as I could be in the water. That was fine. I could have done a better job of mingling, if I'm being honest. I tend to not stay around. Like, I moved around, but I could have probably done a better job. You were much better at mingling than I am. That's per the standard, though. I mean, that's the usual. I'm a little bit better. at putting myself out there to people we don't know than you are. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually spent a fair amount of time in the pool and actually got a few complaints. People were pissed off at you. I didn't do enough pool games. Yeah, I know. So I have mixed feelings. So this is my take. But but I also I have heard you and there was multiple people that put on the reviews that there was not enough pool games. So I guarantee you there's going to be more pool games the next time. All the fucking pool games. But here's the problem here. And here's my take on the pool games. Right. I like pool games and I actually enjoy pool games. But what I do think is sometimes they can kill the vibe a little bit. Yeah. So I feel like if the music is going well and people are dancing or even just mingling and talking and the energy is good, I hate to, like, stop that to pull all the attention to me to play a pool game. Yeah. If you know what I'm saying, right? Yeah. Now, if it's, like, the energy is low, I feel like pool games are important because they can bring people together and kind of give people a thing to do. Here's my thing. Energy is... You can, like, the vibe, that's, like, all in your perspective. Yeah. Like, some people want it to be a knock-down, drag-out party. They want people fucking on the side. Like, people want, like, all the things. And you may, on the other hand, just be, like, enjoying the cool, laid-back, everybody's chit-chatting type of vibe. So, I think the problem is you're never going to make everyone happy because some people want it to be wild and crazy, and some are okay. They, like, want to be able to sit and talk with a couple. Right. to know them. So I think in your defense, you're never going to make them happy. You did only play one technically game. Each day. Yeah. So you did the babies. I did basically one game and one sexual act each day. Where typically I probably play two or three games and one sexual act. So there was less this time. Yeah, there was. Than typical. Yeah. I feel like there was less last time too, but my dad had just died and everybody felt bad for us. So I think everybody. Nobody critiqued it. gave us a pass last time well i know like for uh eye candy for example they don't play any games but because they they like the energy they like the music the vibe yeah they're you know so i try i'm trying to balance in the middle well and also there was a sexy squad dancing and bringing lots of energy which we also got critiques on that some people didn't like that i thought they were awesome i thought they were you know we also got there was a comment made about the diversity i thought i've never seen a male sexy I was really impressed you know when we first started going to Secrets the Sexy Squad was definitely like a huge part of Secrets even the bartenders they were part of the Sexy Squad they were dancing they were hanging from rafters and stuff and yeah I can remember when we first went to Secrets like five years ago there was some girl I don't even know what her name was Siren Siren yeah and if you remember Siren she would hang from like the cabanas yeah and she'd do all these like sexy I mean this girl must have been like an athletic like an Olympic athlete I mean some of the moves She never stopped. But then over the years, it seems like COVID happened. Yeah. The sexy squad kind of went away. And I felt like I was really happy that we got there. And I saw them the night when we did the drag show. Yeah, they were out there dancing and helping. I loved it. And I was just so proud that there was guys and girls. I don't know. I feel like we're never going to make everyone happy. But we do listen. We do. Where we can improve, we always will try. More games next time. More games. They're going to get more games, like it or not. Yeah. Then you made a gazillion girls come. Yeah. But I think that's part of the vibe, right? So usually what we do is we play a couple of games during the day. That's just kind of fun. And then towards the end of the day, people usually get turned up around three o'clock-ish. That's usually when I'm ready to go in. Yeah. So that's when I start breaking out. toys and let people have a little fun. So we broke out the magic wand. Yeah. And a bunch of girls came up poolside to use the magic wand and people were. You started with me. Coming and squirting and it was good. Yeah it was good. So at some point we went in because it was room crawl night. And that's going from the pool to room crawl is a very hard transition. Yeah. You have to like for me I didn't drink it all Friday just so that way I could like. I can't be wasted in there trying to like... Which Daphne and Mike, we no longer... Host a room. Host a room officially. Now we are in the room with Daphne and Mike and we... Co-host-ish? No, I mean it's really her. Like she picks out the decorations. She picks out the themes. Well, you've helped. This is probably the least you've helped with her. The last few times I have not helped at all. But in the past I would help. But I've tried really hard to like let her do it. And she's gotten... Because I've let her do it, she's gotten... really good. And I'm very proud of her. Um, but I try to kind of let it be hers and kind of be the assistant, you know? Um, but she did a whole redneck theme to go with. I love the wanted posters. Yeah. And so if you see the, like the, um, they say wanted, but then you're also in a lineup. So, but if you see any of those pictures, that was actually our room. That was the room crawl. And she made. Right. There's like a wanted backdrop, but then you hold up the sign of, what you're wanted for, and it was like eating ass, like taking all the dicks. Yeah. So it was pretty funny. It was pretty funny. I sent one to my mom so she could see like my outfit, but I had to be very careful. I chose the America one instead of like eats ass one to send to my mom. But she, so, and then she made cigarettes out of pretzels, and it looked like an ashtray. I want to, yeah, she did an excellent job. She was in her room all day. She never came out to the pool. Which I kind of feel bad about. I do too. And I know that the other group that won, I've heard they did an amazing job. I was really proud of Daphne. And this is my give her a second chance. Are you campaigning for her right now? Well, she feels like a little. Are you campaigning for her? Because she's never won. And she works really hard. And she feels like people don't vote for her because Because of you. Because of me. Right. And that makes me sad. Can't a girl just want her best friend to win something? Golly. But she worked really hard. Yeah. She did. She worked really hard. Now I will say. I didn't see the other one. I'm sure they were all lovely. Right. And I was going to say. I think next time we need to try to get around to them all. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like about every other year. I mean it depends. I tend to stay in there. This time I was. I did a whole sleeve of fake tattoos for this night. So I was like putting fake tattoos on as I was. greeting people. But it was fun. I really enjoyed it. If we go out to all the rooms, we get to see all the rooms. But we might miss people that want to meet you. But if we stay in one spot, probably more people get to see you. But then we don't get to see all the other rooms. So it's kind of one of those. Yeah, we kind of do a little bit of it. I try to change it up. So at some point, there was this lady. I want to talk about this because she calls us mean girls. And that hurt your feelings. No, it triggered me. Okay, I get called. mean girl all the time and well not all the time occasionally and it pisses me off because i'm the opposite of that like i really genuinely don't like i feel whatever the other i'm like i don't want you to be upset like let me fix it so anyway there was you are a people pleaser yes there was this girl who is beautiful very attractive um but she partaked way too much in she was drunk she was not just drunk she was obnoxiously trashed now okay now Now, she probably got away with a little bit more because she was as hot as she was. I mean, let's be real. Drunk girls can get away with a lot more than like a drunk middle-aged man. Right. You're saying like as far as like hanging on people. Yeah. So she was in the room and she kept, it was like we were, the room crawls from six to seven and we were trying to wrap it up because really we need to be out there like at eight. Well, I had to be in the club at eight to open DJ. Yeah. So we had like one hour. Had the shower change, get ready. Yeah. I don't think we had even had dinner at this point so we were trying really hard to like wrap it up right but politely not be like get the fuck out of my way yeah yeah we you know we're not gonna and we were watching the clock to make sure it was anyway she kept calling people in to take a photo I think she's drunk yeah um we were taking photos she was I don't know what she was doing there was a lot going on yeah so and then she was like you better thank me you better thank me because I did this I had everybody and we're like I'm like For what? You know, I didn't say that to her, but in my mind, I'm like, I'm trying to get everyone out here, and you're pulling people in there. And I don't know. Well, at some point, our friends, another couple, saw what was happening and knew that I was not going to be mean. The mean girl, right. Yeah, to this girl. I wasn't going to be like. You need to get the fuck out. Yeah, I would never do that. And they were like, hey, what do we need to do? Can we help you get this girl out of this room? You know, they were being good friends. And I guess she thought we were talking shit about her, which really we weren't. We were not saying. You were discussing how to get her out of your room. Yes. Because she was belligerent at this point. And they could barely stand. Honestly, they came to the club that night and I was shocked that they were able to put clothes on for the theme. So she looked over and she hears us. She was like, let's go. Those are mean girls over there. And I was like, oh my God. I was like here we go well then our friend said some words but it got a little and then the girls like she was like no we're just trying like it's over there they need to get ready they need to eat dinner we're trying to like help them let me help you help you know help them help you to get out so in a way the girl ended up leaving and I don't know I don't think she even remembered the encounter probably the next day because she came up to me and was like so you want to talk about it and I was like What? She was like, how hot you are? And I was like, oh, okay, yeah. I thought, oh, God. You know, but it just, like, really hurt my feelings, like, because I was like, no, we're not. Trying to be mean. We're actually being really kind to you right now because we're not being like, lady, you're trashed. We couldn't even tell her husband to take her out because he was equally as trashed. Yeah, true story. It was just a little bit of a nightmare. And to be honest and to be fair, there's one at every room crawl. Yeah. It happens every time. Every single year, people get shit-faced. And so my advice to you is if you're listening to this and you're going to Secrets in April, don't drink every drink in every room. Maybe pick one liquor and maybe stick to that and maybe do every other or every couple. And you can say no. You can walk through. Lots of people, as they're walking through the room crawl, say no thank you. And that is 100% okay. You do not have to partake. The room crawl gets people every year. It does. And we've had friends getting serious. Some people are not allowed to do the room crawl because they cannot handle, not from us, but they made that choice themselves because they cannot handle it. Not good at self-discipline of saying no to alcohol shots. No. So that was it. That was the end of the room crawl. We finally got our door shut and we had to pull our blinds and we were like, okay, nobody opened. And I think I basically had 45 minutes to eat, shower, change, and get to the club. Yes. Yeah. And thank God we ate because Dirty Diana, who also works for us, she hosts taco night, carne asada night. And she feeds like half a secret. You pay her $10. So if you're eating her food, you better be paying her because she has to buy all that meat. I can't imagine how much that is. Anyway, she, well, we didn't pay her though. Maybe I should Venmo her. I don't know. But she always is like, let me feed. She like brings us food, but she fed us. I feel like a... I told everybody to pay her. Well, they better pay you. We just eat the leftovers. Yeah, we eat the leftovers. But anyway, so thanks to her, we ate. So I guess you want to end it there, and then we start next week with Friday's Club Night. I think that's the way to do it. Y'all, we have a lot of fun. This was a good secret. It was a very good secret. Yeah. All right, so stay tuned for next week. Can we give them teasers? What's the teaser? Okay, let's see. A couple things. that you have to come back and hear the story. Okay. I somehow dressed in men's clothing at some point. You end up in the men's bathroom at some point. Yes. Someone tried to fuck me without a condom. That happened. What else? I don't know. Dan wore a mullet. Well, that's normal. Daddy Mike wore your mullet. Yeah. I had Daddy Mike running down the thing of secrets saluting people. It gets crazy. So stay tuned. Yeah. For the second half of Secrets. Yeah. Next week. Yeah. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. That's so hot.