Want to send us a message? In this eye-opening episode of Swinger University, Phoebe and Ed dive into the surprising connection between alcohol, swinging, and health risks. Explore how the social and uninhibited nature of alcohol impacts swingers, from parties to resorts and cruises, and why it’s everywhere in the lifestyle. Learn about alcohol s lesser-known classification as a carcinogen, its effects on health (like cancer risks and hormone disruptions), and how it can influence consent and decision-making in intimate situations. Discover tips for navigating swinger events sober, building confidence, and enhancing experiences without alcohol. Whether you re curious about cutting back or just exploring a healthier lifestyle within swinging, this episode is packed with insights, humor, and actionable advice to keep you informed and empowered. Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. We're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount. You're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Can swinging increase your risk of cancer? Whether you meet at a bar, smuggle alcohol into your room for events, or book an all-inclusive cruise or resort, alcohol is always readily available. Welcome to Swinger University. I'm Phoebe. And I'm Ed. I like doing the intro. It's fun.
You don't usually do that. I don't. I took charge. We're mixing it up a little bit. I took charge. Phoebe's on top this time. I am. I am.
so we came up with this topic because it's all over the news oh yeah you can't turn the news on and not see the latest story about yeah it used to be a glass of wine a day was healthy for you and it helped with your heart and your circulation and all that and yeah beer's not that bad and if you are going to have a hard alcohol drink you know you limit it to you know two drinks a week kind of a thing right remember the exact numbers yeah not the case but now yes they're really i guess campaigning for visibility on the the carcinogenic nature of alcohol which honestly I didn't know and there was a study that they did where 40% people surveyed knew that consuming alcohol increases is their chance of later developing cancer.
that came out i was shocked because i'm the other 60 i didn't know i'm like who knew who knew why didn't i know how did how did i not know i and i thought wow that marketing campaign is really getting squashed by you-know-who. Right. The alcohol lobbyists, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. And don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-alcohol, but I do have some interesting facts for you and some alternatives.
So, because it wouldn't be swinger university without some facts we all know that swingers love to party and we have a plethora of events meet and greets we go to adult resorts we go on cruises and it's it's just there alcohol is there alcohol is everywhere in everything you do any celebratory event birthdays weddings uh christening the bow of a boat like alcohol cutting a ribbon cutting ceremony there's champagne right so it's it's so ingrained in us and society and part of connecting with one another that it's just basically seen as normal.
And I made the choice for myself to stop drinking recently because of some of the effects that I will tell you about in a second here. But as swingers, why do we, why do we use it? Why do we like it? I think most of the time alcohol is a social lubricant.
Everybody talks about it being the uninhibitor and, you know, I'm going i'm gonna need a drink for this to like really relax and let loose or the great leveler do they kind of say that or just levels everybody they're all yeah i guess you could say that because if you're all drinking you're all on the same page if you're not you kind of feel like the third wheel which is a bit awkward yeah that would make sense in like a party situation like a really like We'll be right back. And if you're not, you kind of feel like the third wheel, which is a bit awkward.
Yeah, that would make sense in like a party situation, like a really like everybody's letting loose kind of thing. And if you were the one sober person, yeah, that would be pretty awkward. I've been at that party. I was that guy at that party. but i think for the most part sw, swinger events like to use alcohol as a way of kind of relieving tension. It's a nervous kind of a thing. You're not sure what's going to happen. You're putting yourself out there. You're trying to approach people and make a connection. And that's hard. Yeah. You're an introvert.
Maybe you're not good at closing the deal. You haven't been dating for many years. Why? Because you've been in a committed relationship or monogamous relationship for 20 plus years. And you just feel awkward. We feel awkward trying to flirt with other people we were both new to the dating scene when we met each other and we barely had our flirting skills honed in yeah i was i was pretty rusty i'll be honest um and you were still better than me well i i'm a a natural flirt. You are a natural flirt. I'm a natural flirt.
So if you kind of go through the list of events, you know, most of them are BYOB. Yeah. So there's an expectation like right there on the invitation that you're going to bring your own beverage, your own alcohol um we've met and we know a few swingers who are in fact non-drinkers um but for the most part i think almost everybody in the lifestyle drinks to some level or another yeah some people drink a lot um we've seen a lot of, you know, unicorns drunk in corners. Yeah. Very, very sick unicorns, which is not the best experience for them.
But if you go down the list of all of these, cruises, for example, they sell a drink package, several hundred dollars worth of drink package for that, and it's all you can drink. So you want to get your money's worth, right? Yeah, because it's expensive. So that's seven days of just hammering your liver hard. And the rest of your body. And the rest of your body. Because the drink package was at least $100 per person, right? Per day.
I think it was just under a hundred bucks uh if i remember right it was like 85 bucks per person but with a couple both people have to have the drink package so it's so it's an investment seven day cruise for two people it's you know it's a lot it's a lot it adds up very quickly because you can't share if you look at adult resorts like hito they're all inclusive all inclusive is meals and alcohol so the drinks are free flowing you can yeah you can hang out at the pool there's a bar you can hang out at the nightclub where the dinner is there's a bar.
There's the bar yeah there's a bar like there's alcohol everywhere at these events is it a good thing i mean yes no i don't know depends on what you want to want to use it for and your level of risk, I guess. We could use the same. We just did another follow up on STIs and you could use the same formula for you and your body. What's your level of risk? Right. Right. Do you do you want a long life? Do you want to just throw caution to the wind and say, eh, whatever, you know, live life to the fullest, I'll die later and I'll die happy.
Maybe you have a lot of cancer in your family and you have to be more mindful of your health. So level of risk is going to be different for each person. Yeah. And I think the other level of risk that a lot of people don't really talk about in the lifestyle is consent.
And with alcohol comes a diminished capacity for granting and accepting consent yes and we talk about it all the time because the community is not very good at it we'll just say it that way yeah and and alcohol doesn't help it doesn't help people to use their words and to know what they're talking about at the time that they're saying it. And I have been known to make decisions under the influence. I wasn't drunk, but I was buzzed and they sounded like a great decision. Everything sounds like a really good idea when you're drinking.
And while I had a good time, if I had been sober, I probably would not have chosen that interaction. Yeah. And I guess I'm trying to, I know somebody's going to ask me this question. Well, if you had a good time, that was a big deal. Because the day after, and it's not the hangover there there is some type of fallout usually for me. Meaning we you and I missed a connection or I said yes to something that I wouldn't normally say yes to maybe at all or with that person. Maybe I would only say yes with another person. Right. Right.
So things in the moment that seem okay, but the next day you kind of feel icky about it or not so great. Yeah. And I think that's the thing is that alcohol reduces your inhibitions and it reduces your ability to make really the best decisions. Yeah. It doesn't mean they're all going to be bad decisions, but yeah. Right. All right. So let's be Debbie Downer a little bit. Yes. Sorry. Sorry, not sorry. Because you need to know.
Yeah, I think think it's important to talk about i think it's important for people to start to think about this because this is new information like this is i know coming out and it's all over the place yes so apparently alcohol like i earlier, is a carcinogen. It is a class one carcinogen labeled by the International Agency for Research on Cancer. And the reason it is, is because it's metabolized into acetylhyde, which is a carcinogen. And that damages the DNA and increases your risk for cancer.
It can increase the types of cancer in your liver, breast cancer, colon cancer, head and neck, and esophageal cancer. I had no clue. None. Maybe if I had more cancer in my family and there was more of awareness, you know, swirling around my family with conversation about health and cancer and stuff, I would know this, but I don't have that in my family. So I've just been like kind of shocked by this information. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Some of the other stuff that's been Thank you.
just been like kind of shocked by this information yeah yeah for sure um some of the other stuff that's been coming out is that it it disrupts the hormone balance so it's really bad for women who are in perimenopause and menopause and you have an increased risk of hormone related cancers for the liver and breast and i remember you talking on a number of occasions where you got a terrible night's sleep because the alcohol was affecting your sleep. It was affecting your hot flashes. You were, your, your body was out of sorts because of it. Yeah. Yeah.
So I, I personally have, have stopped drinking it. I during. During COVID, we were kind of having a heyday like everybody else did because the world was ending. And you really didn't have to go anywhere. So, I was like, ah, you know, who cares about a good night's sleep? Whatever. They'll just deliver it. right but you know when you're not sleeping right there's weight gain your health starts to suffer your immune system is decreased. Your brain does not do its cleaning process at night thoroughly, which puts you at risk for Alzheimer's if your brain isn't able to get the cleaning process.
It's a dishwasher going on in there in the middle of the night. Yeah, they used to describe it as, you know, your mind needs to rest at night, right? Like it... The cleaning process, it's a dishwasher going on in there in the middle of the night. Yeah, they used to describe it as, you know, your mind needs to rest at night, right? Like, it gives it a break from, you know, processing all the stuff during the day. And it's, you know, recharging its battery, so to speak. Well, they figured out that it's actually also flushing toxins out at night. Yes, yes.
So, yeah, I mean, once again, science is is amazing we're constantly learning new things about the human body and all of this stuff right now you may have also heard in the news recently the u.s um surgeon general vivek murthy who is on his way out soon with the new administration administration so he's he's been on a uh speaking campaign and i was listening to him on npr today and he was saying that um the alcohol related cancer is the third leading preventable cause of cancer in the u.s wow yeah so i thought that was pretty high i didn't know that either so you could save your life basically or live longer yeah you just stop drinking it's 100 preventable now he's he's calling for congress to authorize a warning label on alcohol but the the alcohol lobbyists are really lobbying hard against that i'm sure this is not the first time it's come up but now now yeah and we went through this with cigarettes where for decades they had lied to the public about it being perfectly safe.
And it was actually healthy, right? And I remember in the 40s and 50s, they were like, yeah, even your doctor smokes Winston's or whatever. They did in the office, in the hospitals or in the waiting rooms. Yeah. And it wasn't until the truth got uncovered and people really started to realize, you know, yeah, that's not really true. And then they slapped the warning labels on it. But it took forever to get the warning labels.
And then it took forever to get the smokers off of airplanes and out of restaurants and all that kind of stuff oh my gosh i remember all that yeah yeah i had a very long flight to france with a chain smoker sitting right behind me that was that those were the days yeah so there's two perspectives on this yeah two perspectives you can take on this live your best life and go out with a bang right yeah you only live once I'll see you next time.
yeah two perspectives you can take on this live your best life and go out with a bang right yeah you only live once and yeah i i can appreciate that perspective we know people that have that perspective they're like yeah you only live once i'm going out with a bang i'm gonna live it up yep and the other perspective is increase your chances of living longer and you get to increase your quality of life.
So, you know, if you're, if you're looking at the blue zones and you want to have a really long life, you want to be an octogenarian, you want to live well into your hundreds, you know, maybe this is something you cut back on or eliminate from your diet. you know you do you really need it right i know our grocery bill has gone down as we've cut more alcohol out of the shopping i i do miss it i will say i like the little buzz that i get from a gin and tonic i um i i i will say as i've aged and progressed into menopause, my body doesn't handle the alcohol very well anymore.
Like you said before, it does affect my sleep. It affects my hormones. It affects my digestive system. Actually, I was doing a lot of of research i didn't even put this in the outline on your microbiota and it really wreaks havoc on on all the healthy organisms in your intestines it basically just destroys them yeah it's like a cleanser yeah it's like i'm sure it's not exactly like this but it's just like drinking you you know, rubbing alcohol. It is not like that, but yes, it is. It is alcohol, a totally different kind of alcohol. It carries COVID. Do not drink rubbing alcohol.
It will make you go blind, by the way. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Oh. Very bad. Yeah. So it's really, it's not the best thing for you but you know i do you know it's nice it's it's fun it can be tasty there are some really fun tasty drinks out there i love me a good you know whiskey or a good tequila and for sure i do i do miss beer yeah we were just looking at those hazy ipas that somebody was serving in one of the shows we were watching last night. Yeah. Yeah, it does taste really good. We've certainly acquired those taste buds, although your taste buds have shifted recently. They have shifted.
And now it doesn't taste good for you. Yeah. Still tastes good for me. I still miss a good drink, and I would say I haven't cut it out completely, but I have cut way back. Yeah. Way back. And pretty much we go out to a dinner with friends. I'll have a, I'll order a drink with that, but we don't go out that often. So it's not like it's happening once a week or even once a month. Yeah. And, and we did have a few glasses of wine over the course of a week, we'd opened up a bottle of wine, but I had to be really careful about what, what was going on for me that week.
Did I need a really good night's sleep? And what kind of healthy things can i do the next day to kind of repair the damage that i've already done to my microbiota so it's it's a you know there's a pro and con you there's some some consequences to that that you have to to do after at least for me so i don't anticipate partaking of any um drink package on any cruise ever not that we have i mean we don't buy the package if we wanted a drink we just buy it right and honestly now the adult resorts are looking less, even more because I'm paying for alcohol that I will never drink. Right.
Never drink. That's true. So it's true. I guess that's just part of it. Yeah. Yeah. So here's an interesting proposition we're going to throw out there. If you are concerned about your microbiota and your health and cancer and all of that kind of stuff, and you kind of think you might like trying playing while you're sober. Uh-huh. Which we did pretty much for the first five, six years of our open relationship. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't drink at all. Okay. Can we talk about October for a second? Oh my God. Yeah. I've been waiting for this.
We were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great The bottom line is we want you there with us it's 310 couples and like all their vacations they book up fast they really do their vacations are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to rwingerlinks.com and look for the LLV Sensual Voyage.
We hope you'll join us. So it's something to experiment with. Try it. Go to a house party and not have a drink. Keep it sober and see if your experience is better or worse and it's it may force you to be a little bit more present and be use different ways of shaking the nerves off or breaking the ice but that's also a good exercise too. Practicing your breathing, getting in the zone, having a good wing person so that you feel like you're supported, so that you're not out there all by yourself. And you're not because you're probably going with a partner. So think about it that way.
Working on your confidence, practicing your your closing statements when you're trying to close the deal. Yeah. And. about it that way. Working on your confidence, practicing your closing statements when you're trying to close the deal. And it's a nice, I don't know, we felt really awkward in the beginning in the lifestyle because we didn't know what was going on and we were trying to date other people and it was weird and awkward and we didn't know what to say. There's a whole bunch of things that were making all of the above.
And we just thought that the alcohol was going to make it way worse. And in hindsight, it may have made it better, but I don't really know. But what it did give us was a lot of good skills. Yeah.
We'd come home and we'd break down what worked, what didn't work then we go back out there and we give ourselves homework at each event yep and so it it was it was a growth experience for sure it was a growth experience for sure and i don't think i would have been able to do that if i was drunk or too buzzed yeah yeah so the challenge of course is going to be this is difficult at first if you want to venture into this and try it because alcohol is at every event so if you're at a social event if it's a super bowl party there's gonna be beer if If it's a swinger event, somebody's going to have cocktails there.
So here's some things to think about when you're having to cope with all of that. What do you hold in your hand? Because I think a lot of that is having that thing that you're walking around with. You can grab a soda. You can grab soda water. You could do a lime and ice. You could do a tonic. You could do a virgin cocktail. So you can do tonic water and lime is really good. Ginger ale is also really, really tasty as well. You can bring your own cup to the party. We have a couple of friends that just have water and they hold their water cup, their mug, whatever.
And that kind of keeps them, they like that, right? So they're even, it's like a little safety blanket, I guess. Sure, sure. And two, if you're carrying your own water around around you don't feel compelled to go get something from yeah some counter where oh look there's also yeah there's oh there's a jello shot right there maybe I'll just take you know just one just just one I think that was the last thing that happened with us at the party um you can practice saying no also because people are going to want you to drink.
It's part of the social thing, you know, feed you, drink you, make you feel comfortable, all the social things that they want you to be taken care of. So you can practice saying no, no thank you, or I'm good. Right. And you could explain to them why you're doing it. Or you could just practice your consent and say, no, thank you. I just, I'm just not, I'm not having anything to drink tonight. Or I've had, I've had enough for tonight. You could even say that. Oh yeah. I've had enough for tonight. Yeah. They're not going to know if you've had anything. No one's going to know.
They're not keeping count. Oh, I like that one. I've had enough for tonight. So remember, gonna know if you've had no one's gonna know they're not keeping count oh i like that one i've had enough for tonight so remember this is you're doing this to be kind to yourself you're doing this as a service to yourself and focus really on your progression it's it's not getting it right the first time it's are you are you working towards that goal of maybe not drinking anymore yeah it's up to you not perfection it's progression yeah Thank you. Not perfection. It's progression. Yeah.
Most importantly, your consent will be much better. Yeah. You will be present to be able to say, hell yeah, or no thank you. Which is great. Yes. No more like slipped and fell and landed on a dick. Right. And I will say your experience might be better, right?
Depending on what you're going after now if you're if your intent is to go after having a good party time right you want to get your dance on you want to get your flirt on you want to you want to feel the buzz and you want to just be in that space well you obviously you know if that's part of that right you can't really do that sober but I'll see you next time.
be in that space well you obviously you know if that's part of that right you can't really do that sober but uh you can dance sober and you can get your flirt on sober i did that for many many years and i had a good time to see but i'm a little different i get really high off my own hormones that are coursing through my body i pull a lot of energy i get high off the energy from other people so just the music and their vibes i just am abuzz so i really don't need anything um so yeah your experience could be better or different. Yeah.
Wait, let's think about what else could be different with your experience. How about your communication or your sexual experience? Can that be different? Absolutely. Just like consent, if you are more present in what's going on, you'll be able to ask for what you want. Now, you may be nervous about that or you may feel pressure about using your voice and saying no to something or asking for something.
but at the same time if you'd been drinking you wouldn't be asking for those things either so even though you're more you're less less inhibited, you're in a sense not going to be held back from just speaking your mind, you probably are also more easily going to go with the flow and just not say anything.
So learning to practice that I want this and this and this, and I don don't want that that's actually a really good thing and your sexual experiences tend to be better when you ask for what you want i agree because you are really taking control of your experience and not letting it just happen to you you can direct that by your consent in the beginning and ongoing through that experience. Yep. A hundred percent. I can't tell you how many times I've seen women or usually I'm focusing on the women because I'm always wanting to make sure they're okay. Right.
They're who have had too much to drink and they're kind of just laying there with their partner yeah and they are kind of checked out and i i know they're not having a great time they're just they're probably not even going to remember it yeah we've had experiences with people where after the fact we were like i don't i don't know if she's going to remember any of this tomorrow because she didn't look drunk at the time but i don't halfway through it you're like i don't know what's going on with her yeah and once again you will have your naysayers that say, yeah. Live your best life.
Which, you know, everybody's entitled to their thing. The really good thing about cancer is it's not contagious. Right. Don't need to wear a condom for that. You're only affecting yourself. But at the same time, you know, if this is, if you've been watching the news and this is something that's concerning you, something to think about. Yeah. Something to think about. You know, it would be nice if these big resorts had a – right, a catalog, a menu list of – The virgin drinks? Virgin drinks. Yeah, it'd be pretty cool.
that you could pick from i i like a virgin moscow mule it's ginger beer i guess you could make anything virgin you just tell them some things taste better with the the extra juice but there's a lot of stuff with especially mixed drinks that i mean you can kind of tell but you there's ways of fixing that too yeah so yes think about who is important in your life consider making healthy choices because this is something that can affect your health and you should probably consider it your health and and then and therefore the health of the others around you, right?
The whole, you know, put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Right. Because you have others to take care of, potentially. Be kind to yourself and realize that this is a struggle for a lot of people. And this is your own personal thing. So do what you want to do with it challenge yourself to more personal growth by staying sober and grounded give it a try yeah see if your experiences are better yeah and i it it's a good challenge i think to to be in that space where you stand your ground. It's going to be a little uncomfortable, but you will feel better about yourself. You will gain confidence.
If you're drinking because you're an introvert or you don't like social situations, you're awkward, well, you can change that.
You do have the power to change change it you don't need a substance to do that right right um although i will say because i am going to get some comments on for people that do like to use other substances like sure mushrooms or mdma or things like that that for individuals with severe anxiety and there are some some alternative substances out there for individuals that really they can't really function in society unless they they have some of these substances to kind of get them through the day so um there is that and i'm not i'm not shaming those substances at, absolutely, and there's a lot of research being done on the hallucinogenics for things like PTSD, and they can have an amazing effect on people's lives in terms of helping with that.
Yeah. And and using those are also I mean, and using any of this is fine at a party. Just make sure you really are dialing in your consent, that you're giving your true consent and that the person you're giving it to is really listening. Right. And that you can have that exchange for a good experience. A really good wrap up. Yeah. Don't forget your homework. Tell a friend about our show. We love hearing people being turned on to our show. So if you've got a friend who's interested or curious about the subject and they've got questions, absolutely send them to Swinger University.
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