Trigger warning: I explore Race Play with a new bull

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast, I'm going to talk to you about a new bull, a new bull that I brought into play, and we're going to get into some stuff. Here's the thing. Um, I am not here to yuck anybody's yum i am not here to um tell anybody their fetish can't be a fetish um i am not here to tell anybody that their idea of fun or play is right or wrong. That's not my role here. My role here is to objectively take a look at my kinks and know what it is that I'm consenting to, okay? So I have a new bowl.

We had plans to meet for lunch, and then we were going to go and play. Now, everybody who has ever listened to my show knows that I have a problem eating beforehand. So I wasn't going to actually go have lunch. I was going to go and sit there with a soda or something and drink while whatever happened with him happened. So when it came to it, I was a little bit like nervous about going and sitting down and having a whole conversation and talking about things that I wasn't quite sure where, what was going on and where it was all headed.

So I decided to take a minute, um, and text him and find out what his plan was. Um, and it ended up being that he kind of wasn't hungry and didn't really want to go to the restaurant. So he wanted to see if maybe we could change our minds, which was fine because we had been texting. And in the scope of that texting, we had participated in some very deep conversations about what we were looking for. And the gentleman that I was meeting was looking for race play. I am for whatever gets everybody in the room hot.

I am for whatever gets everybody in the mood and on the trajectory and on the right path and fucking turned on as fuck. But there are certain things that I'm not going to be able to get over. Okay, I'm not going to be able to get over my own hangups in certain regards, because I'm not comfortable using the N word. I am not comfortable playing in that arena. I can play race play to a point I can talk about the big bat black cock and I can talk about how he's ruining me for my husband and how huge his dick is and I can talk all that but I can't go so far as to use slurs.

It's not something that I'm comfortable with. And I made it very clear to him that I wasn't comfortable with him. But if he wanted to use them, that was completely up to him and his prerogative. It wasn't going to offend me because I wasn't going to have to say it. So we had come to an agreement where, yes, we would play in the race play area, but we, I, I had limits as to what I was willing to do. And he was accepting of that and everything moved along great. So he came over and we played.

And for me, because of the fact that I had agreed to the race play aspect, the dirty talk coming out of this man's mouth was off the fucking charts. It was talking all about my wet vagina and how he was ruining for me for my husband and how he was going to turn me into a BBC slut and all these things that were just like really working for me. And it was like wet. It was rainforest wet in my room. It was so hot and so steamy and so incredibly just like he was getting fluids, baby. He was, I was squirting everywhere. It was, and I mean, I'm sucking his dick while both my hands are jacking him.

There was enough room for all three on that dick. And that was really, really, um, that was, that was really something. And he was aggressive and he wanted me to suck his dick and he wanted me to swallow more of that dick and he wanted me to really just, and he was next level with me. He was next level of like turned on and feral and primal and just fucking ready to go. And he and I didn't talk much before he got there or when he got there. We didn't talk much. We didn't talk much after. It was like literally one of those, we are going to burn it down and then bye.

And it really, I mean, it was great. And the part that really kept me in it was how incredibly turned on he was by the fact that I was even willing to dabble in it with him. And it was really fun and hot and I can't go, I can't tell you enough times. But it wasn't because of the fact that we were talking, it was because he was being so aggressive about how he was talking to me and he was being so aggressive about fucking me and ruining me. And it was awesome. So because I'm not here to yuck anybody's yum, it was something I had to come to terms with. Was this something I was going to do?

Was it something I was going to talk about with him in the room? Is it something I was going to to, um, play with? And the thing is, is that in that moment, a lot of things were coming clear. He was being fetishized for having a big black cock. He was being fetishized and BBCs and all these things are the way we fetishize people. The same way people fetishize me for being a larger woman who are BBW lovers. And so the fact that when you're being fetishized like this, when you're being fetishized in a way, it kind of turns you yourself into an object and not a person.

And sometimes when you play into that fetish, when you play into that fetishization, when you play into that objectifying, when you are part of the conversation about the objectification, it takes back some of the power and it gives you some of your power back. And the thing is, is that we fetishize that which we fear and I'm afraid of like, I'm afraid of being only a BBW. Um, I'm afraid that when people play with me. They're playing with me because they want to see my fat jiggle and they don't really care what's going on in behind my eyes. So for me, that's a fear that I have.

And I haven't got quite gotten to the point where I'm willing to fetishize it because I have been skinny. I have been thick. I have been fat. I've been all layers, if you will. And so I'm not really quite there because diet culture has really, really ruined me. But I could understand where he was coming from, where he had been, because he is a man who has a BBC, he has been turned into an object. And by then fetishizing that objectification, he is taking back some power and taking some control over how he is being, how the play is going.

He gets to choose, he gets to take some of that power back and stop being an object and start being the person. And he gets to play more of that. So I am all for anybody who decides to take their power back. It's kind of like the same reason why women fetishize rape. It's not something we actually want, but it's something that we have grown fears from and therefore our brain has fetishized it. And I don't know if that, there's a lot of things that play into it. This is just a glossy coat that I'm throwing over the top of it to kind of give it some understanding for people.

Because nobody wants to just be an object. They want to be wanted for themselves. They want to be wanted for their individualness. The things that they can't help are not things that they necessarily want you to want them for. They want to be wanted for the thoughts in their head. Nobody wants to be wanted because of something they can't control. They want to be wanted because they are an individual and a person and they're interesting and they have value added and they're an individual and they are not just this object that you have picked out in a store. We're not vases.

We're not throw pillows. We're not objects. We're humans. We're people. And because of the fact that we're people, we want to be wanted for ourselves. But when we're being fetishized for something that we really can't control, that's where it turns. That's where it twists. That's where it becomes a fetishization of who we are and we stop being people. So I can understand why he took other people's fetishization of him and turned it into a kink that he could then exert some power and control over and create his own world where that stuff was doing it for him.

And I'm not going to yuck his yum because as far as I'm concerned, He's taking things that his mind has grappled with and he has found safe, sane and consensual ways to fulfill those fetishes, to fulfill those fantasies. And as far as I'm concerned, safe, sane and consensual is all you need to tell me and I'm right there with you. If we're working out our demons one-on-one and believe me, he worked out more than just my demons. There were small villages that were crying because of the amount of liquid rainfall that was happening in my room that day.

So he was so incredibly turned on by this fetish that he had, by this thing that he had, that I was willing to play along with, that I was willing to go through with him and do the talking and do the, and it was so aggressive and like just filthy. Oh my God. It was so fucking filthy that it was just another layer because it was working both of our brains and it was working both of our genitals and it was working everything. And it was all coming together in this mad, crazy, deeply fucking hot exercise of madness that just was beyond. It was beyond. So beyond.

And I had a really, really good time. And my husband got the video and he also had a really good time. Um, it was fun and it was hot and it was intriguing. And it was, um, another layer of arousal that we agreed to in advance. And when you, and a lot of times, the thing that kind of bums people out about, let's go with domination. The thing that bums people out about domination is as a sub, you read these books and these people just give the sub what she needs or, well, I'm basing this off of books that I've read because they're designed for female subs, but take it however you want to.

So in these books, the dom knows this woman and he is able to see through all of her layers and know exactly what it is that's going to take, what it's going to take to ramp up her arousal and what it's going to take to get her to that next level and what it's going to take to push her into subby, into subspace, what it's going to do and how she's going to get there and how it's all going to magically come together and create this awe-inspiring orgasm that's going to give her that dopamine rush, and then the aftercare that's going to give her that, you know, that oxytocin to keep the dopamine fall off from causing a crash and all that other stuff.

And in real life, nobody knows what's going on in your head. In real life, you don't have an author who's speaking for both sides, okay? There'spathic connection so when you're in these sub sub domination things and you're looking for somebody who's going to dominate you and who's going to take you and who's going to uh it's not like that you have to conversations. You have to have conversations that are going to define what it is that you're looking for, what it is that you're seeking.

Because if you are seeking something, if you're seeking a specific thing that's going to drive your arousal up to that next level, wouldn't it be nice to give somebody that ammunition? wouldn't it be nice to give them that thing that's going to, the clue that's going to take them into the thing that's inside your head and be able to give that to you? Conversations where you discuss what turns you on are fucking hot.

They, and like, especially somebody who, like me, who's kind of empathetic and feeds off of that arousal from somebody else somebody who is a fantasy fulfillment slut because I take the energy that you've put into this thought and I build on it and I build on it and then we create this thing and it's fucking madness and mayhem and I did the I did the same thing with my husband over the weekend. He decided he wanted to start writing a story with me. And we were texting the story back and forth. And that fucking arousal was off the charts. It was insanity.

We went up and played and it was like the earth moved. So when we have these interactions where we're allowed to share what's going on inside of our brain that is making all of our little tingles tingle, and then we give it to somebody else and then they give us something back. And then that builds that a little bit more. And now it's become kind of a shared fantasy. And then we add little bits. We add little layers, we add little ideas. And then it becomes this fantasy fortress.

It becomes this fantasy that is so fucking rock solid that our minds are fully engaged, our fucking, just everything is working for the same fucking goal. And everybody's going to get off like, like fireworks are going off. It's the kind of thing that when you think about it is kind of hard to do because that's intimacy, my friends, that's being vulnerable.

That's sharing something that you have some reservation about because it's a fantasy because it's something that we don't talk about it's something that like we use to get ourselves more turned on well sharing is caring my friends and that's actually what leads so many people into the lifestyle is because when you're a cuck and you tell the truth and you say the thing it leads to the conversation that leads to the possibility that leads to the thing that could become the lifestyle which could lead to even more conversations and could lead to even more arousal and more fantasies and more things that we bring out into the open and share with each other to create this amazing endorphin, oxytocin, dopamine, oh, waterfall that becomes just, oh, orgasmic pleasure for everybody.

There's enough going on right now. There's enough going on that we should want to chase these orgasms together. We should want them. We should want to share our fantasies and build these fantasies and create these monuments to the mind and the mind-sex-organ connection. Okay, so not going too deep.

I started asking about, okay, so costumes have been kind of a really big thing this october and for me i did a couple of different harem costumes i did um actually i did three different harem costumes this this um this october and it was fun and i love and i have a couple school girl outfits that I got and I'm really excited to bring those out and I have just like these adorable little things that are so incredibly sexy but I have questions because my outfits were skimpy okay we're We're talking a bra and some sheer panels on the bottom. They didn't even come with underwear.

I swear to God, they didn't even come with underwear. I put out something and I'd like to get some actual responses. Okay. I'd like to get some people to talk to me about what is sexy. Is it a lot of skin? Is it some sheer? Is it just naked? Because it's so interesting to me how I cover up most of my body and I get a reaction and I cover up very little of my body and I get a reaction and I cover up none of my body and it gets a reaction. So this is something that I think we should all think about. What is it that our partner finds incredibly sexy?

My husband is incredibly turned on by confidence, by me being confident in what it is that I'm wearing. And occasionally he will look at something I'm wearing and say, no, that's hideous, take that off. Because he's opinionated, that man of mine. I like it. I like it when he tells me the truth about what it is that I'm wearing. But when I went to these parties, there were all kinds of different outfits. When they tell you something is a sexy cop or something is a slutty cop or like when an outfit is sexy or an outfit is slutty, there's a difference between those.

Sexy usually has more things covered and slutty has everything exposed basically. So is there a difference between showing too much skin where it tips into slutty or is there something sexy about the secret, the reveal, the kind of hidden but not really very hidden? I really am interested in how, especially, I'm sorry, but especially the male mind works around this shit.

Because we wear these costumes, women wear these costumes for each each other but the men's reaction is what tells us whether or not we did well I don't know if that makes any sense to you but there's something about the male reaction to what I'm wearing that clues me in as to whether I have accomplished the goal I was trying for or not, you know, because everything time and place, obviously time and place. But if you go to a party, what would you hope to see? Would you hope to see a lot of peekaboo? Would you hope to see a lot of just straight up skin?

Would you hope to see a lot of just naked? And I really am asking. So please feel free to reach out to me and let me know your thoughts on it, because I think it's interesting to assess how costumes worked and what we could be doing to enhance the everyday. I just, I find it infinitely fascinating. So hit me up. This week, wow, it's been a very busy week. And I am 10 kinds of excited because I am working on a new project that I will be revealing soon with a couple of friends. And I really am excited about it. I'm excited about it because it's giving me a lot of perspective.

It's giving me a lot of information that I didn't have before. I like it. I like, um, I like challenging myself and challenging my thoughts. So, um, as I move on to, I'm not moving on, sorry. Um, as I add to what it is that I'm doing and I get more education and more insight and more thought processes. Okay. So I had, so this play date I had, I really wanted to swallow his dick. I really wanted to, I want, I was hoping and like really trying, but it wasn't happening. And the thing is, is that I have in the past gotten very large dicks into my throat. Um, but I didn't get it.

Because I think I've lost some of my mojo when it comes to this. And I think that everything is a skill, right? Everything is a learned behavior or a learned talent. And when you lose that talent, it's a little bit of a bummer. But here's the thing. I don't know if I've got the ability to do it again. I don't know if I've got the drive to do it again, to learn it again. Because in my youth, it was something that I was eager and dedicated. And it was a craft, it was a skill.

And then once I had the skill, and I sort of like abandoned the skill, I still had the tricks, but I didn't have the deep throating thing because I didn't need the deep throating thing. So now I'm back here in the lifestyle that I am trying to be amazing and wow and wonderful. And I don't know. I don't know if I have, if I have the ability to open my throat the way I once did. And I don't know if this is something that basically you get ruined to as you get older, but I don't, I honestly, I don't know if I'm going to get it back. And I don't know about my ability to try to get it back.

And if anybody has deep throated, then stop deep throating and then start, tried to start again. If you've got any tips for me, please let me know. Because at one point I knew how to relax my throat. At one point I knew how to breathe through my nose. At one point I knew how to soften a little bit. but none of that works for some of the guys that I'm trying to fucking swallow. Because I'm sorry, it's like, it's like trying to move a Mack truck through the eye of a needle sometimes. It's not like, come on, man, that there's no way that fits.

Now, here's the thing, women for centuries have been saying, that's not going to fit. But then magically, women are the most adaptable creature. And it does, we find a way we make it happen. We're amazing. We're magical because we can take something that seems impossible and make it happen. We can take something that seems completely undoable and get it done because we're fucking amazing. So am I selling myself short, telling myself a story so that I don't have to work very hard to figure this out? Or have I really lost a step?

Have I lost something in a repertoire that I once had that I no longer have? Because here's another thing. Being on my knees for extended periods of time is also something that I'm not super interested in doing. Once upon a time, I could sit down there for 30, 45 minutes and keep fucking swallowing. But now I'm like, I'm old. Getting up off the floor is a thing. Okay. And so I don't know if it's just me being obstinate and not, um, and not keeping track of the skill. And if it's something that I can come back to, I don't know.

So if you have had this experience and would like to share some tidbits, I'd be grateful for them because a lot of it I think might have to do with my attitude. And if my attitude could change a little bit and I could stop telling myself it's something I can't do and start telling myself it's something I should try to do, maybe I'll get there again. Maybe I'll get that eager spark back to learn how to do it, to remember that skill, to focus in on that muscle formation and relax it and get it to open up again, breathe through it, try not to panic, all that good stuff.

But alas, we are born with the skills we are born with. And we learn a lot of skills along the way. And sometimes when we forget those skills, it sucks to have to relearn them. It's kind of like going back to Spanish class after you did Spanish class. Anyway, just thoughts. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Pineapple Pinup the Hot Wife Life podcast.

If you have any answers to any of the questions that I've posed today, please don't hesitate to hit me up at pineapple pinup pod at gmail.com also feel free to reach out to me on any of my socials i would love to hear from you um it is actually one of the things i really really enjoy about this um doing this um as always if you guys are in the market for some really high end toys head over to privateadventures.net and tell them I sent you by using the promo code PINEAPPLEPINUP. Thank you.