Returning to the scene...

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast, I'm gonna, I have a question from a listener. I also want to talk about returning to the scene of the crime and I hit up a party. So I got a lot to get to. Let's start with the party. The party was a really actually excellent party. Again, the venue was not as great as it could have been because the rooms were separated and very far away. And the last time that I had been to this particular party, I had left early due to a conflict with another party goer.

And I left early so that it wouldn't spoil everybody's good time. And then it ended up spoiling everybody's good time. Anyway, not the point. The point is, is that I went and I did and I returned to this particular party because the woman throwing it is actually a friend of mine. And I didn't even get to see her this time. It was kind of weird.

But my friend Scoot came came with me and because of the fact that we're kind of close with this particular party thrower and she uses my notoriety in the area to drum up people to come she uses like she uses my name to advertise basically and she has us man the second room so that way there's somebody taking responsibility for the for each one of the rooms she's in one we're in the other and my husband kind of watches over everything and make sure everybody's having a really good time this party happened right before easter though so right before easter a lot of people are doing family stuff that weekend they're traveling,'re they're not close so it wasn't as well attended as maybe it had been in the past this party because i took scoot with me we had kind of mapped out we're going to be in this room we put down my waterproof blanket we hung out together um we had Jeff come by for a little pre-party snack attack if you will we played a little bit before he had to go get to work because he was working the other door and so Scoot and I were playing with him and we were playing with um my friend Z and my friend Z is such a fun guy then he Z and I started playing and it just like, it was rotating through.

I had another friend from a party down South actually come to this party. And I, it was kind of odd to see him out of his element because he and I have played multiple times together, but he's never really been to the Northern Virginia, Northern parties. So because he's not really been to the Northern parties, it was very interesting because he tends to go to more swinger-based parties rather than hot wife-based parties. So this was a little bit new and captivating, I guess.

He was having a little trouble, you know, running the ropes, but he and I played and we had a really good time and then we went to there were a bunch of people there okay so i'll tell you about x well actually we're not going to call him x on this one we're going to call him vlad the impaler because he literally took a poke at Scoot from both sides. Like literally she was giving him a blowjob and he pulled her head down and literally she almost Cosby sweatered the man. She almost like it was a and like run situation.

So then after that got kind of all worked out and she was back to normal and she was okay. he started going at her from the other end and basically tried to take out her tried kind of all worked worked out and she was back to normal and she was okay he started going at her from the other end and basically tried to take out her tried to take out her cervix with a missile shot and she's like i was impaled so we ended up getting we ended up switching i had been playing with z and she was playing with vlad the impaler and so he came over to me because i don't have a cervix.

He can rearrange my organs as much as he needs to because everything in there is all stretchy and ready to go. But even still, in order to get my liver to relax enough to move out of his way, I did have to use the wand. So was an important that was an important tidbit for her as well as for me I played with a lot of guys at this party off the top of my head I think maybe it was 10 give or take one or two I think I played with at least 10 people so Em and I were playing and a wall. He wasn't tall, but he was a wall. He had wide chest, wide shoulders. Like he was like, boom.

He was a granite wall. And the same thing could be said about his dick. he wasn't super long wasn't short either but it wasn't super long but it was girthy it was wide and he positioned me at the edge of the bed so that he would have maximum leverage to get where he needed to be. And apparently where he needed to be was under Niagara Falls. He broke the tap. He literally, the way he was fucking me, I was right on the edge of the bed and the edge of the bed became so wet. It literally dripped for like five minutes afterwards. It was insane.

It was like, how is there enough moisture in my body to create this kind of effect? And you're thinking to yourself, that's not, that's an anomaly an anomaly it happened twice he came back to play a second time and I literally thought I was going to dry out into a husk this man was just every single just ounce of fluid in my body was like I surrender I'm still dehydrated to this day it's been been almost a week. Anyway, it was, it was a lot of fun. It was so much fun playing at that party. But the end of the night, we're getting close to the end. Everything's wrapping up.

This was an early party because I'm sorry, when you're old, you don't necessarily want to be hanging out till two o'clock in the morning. Yes, I understand that sometimes there are parties that don't even get started until then. But in our little world, we start at six, we end at midnight, we grab a sandwich, we go home, then we can actually be in our beds in a reasonable hour. So it was almost time for it to end. And my husband was like, you know what, nothing's really going on. I'm going to go into this room, I'm going to strip down and I'm going to have her come in.

And he was going in there to do that just as Jeff showed back up. And Jeff was like, are you guys leaving? And I was like, not anymore. So I brought Jeff in and Jeff and I played while my husband was there. And my husband was doing all the great things. He was playing with my toes and he was playing with my boobs and he was kissing my neck and he was, he was doing all these really great things that helped enhance all the moments I was having with Jeff. And it was fucking awesome. It was phenomenal. And Jeff and I had, I mean, I was having an out ofof-body experience with Jeff.

It was like, it was, I mean, it was beyond orgasmic. It was cataclysmic, okay? It was not having just orgasms. It was also having climaxes. The climb, that type of thing. And it was amazing because after all night long I'd been having great fun sex just yay fun go yay fun and it was really a good time but then Jeff came in and Jeff has a way of connecting with me in a way that I, I still don't 100% like understand what makes it better, but it is. And he is just, I mean, he's awesome. And he fucked me so good. My Jesus, so good. yeah so I wanted to talk to you guys about Love Honey, my box.

Oh my God, my box. I'm very excited about my box. I'm very excited about all the things that I got. So far, I haven't had a lot of chance to use the things that I really wanted to try, which are the thigh and wrist restraints.

Okay, so these thigh and wrist restraintsints they're velcro and they clip to each other okay so you can clip hand to hand thigh to thigh you can clip hand to thigh and hand to thigh you can clip you know to a to whatever you want and it will that that one I'm very anxious to use and here's the thing because they're velcro and they're very very adjustable I can also use them on him and I might be doing that very soon you know do a little peg in action and do what I gotta do you know what I'm saying but trying it with a little bit of bondage, hot. I'm very excited about it.

I'm very excited about using these toys. And I'm so excited that you guys can go and shop. And if you use Pineapple 15 at checkout, Pineapple 15 at checkout, they'll give you 15% off your order. So pineapple 15 let them know I sent you all right so the terrible awful yeah the terrible awful it fucking happened and there's really no way around it I it happened now here I am and I'm a woman So I got inside my head and I was like, oh my God, I didn't do, I did a very unfemale. I did a very thing. I did a very human thing. And now I'm never going to see this person again. That's not what happened.

Okay. So I did the very terrible human thing, but he was like, I don't care. Come on over. I'm out of, he was out of town last week. So the fact that I was like, well, I'm never going to hear from him again, made it so that like that myth was perpetuated in my mind because he wasn't readily available to have me come over the next week. But that's okay because he called me this week and he was like, so come over. And I came over and he did not not acknowledge it, okay? He didn't blatantly bring it up, but he acknowledged it. We moved past it. And then we had an amazing fucking date.

We'll see you next time. he didn't blatantly bring it up, but he acknowledged it. We moved past it. And then we had an amazing fucking date. Well, I call them dates, but let's be honest. It's the end of the date only that I'm doing. We, I got there and we, I'm not even kidding you.

We fucked five or six sessions and it was fucking amazing i mean seriously the guy he and i are really really getting into a groove with one another we joke around we play we laugh but we're also but it's also very intense physical activity between the two of us it's physical and it is animalistic and it's growling and it's, it's a really fucking amazing time. So, and then of course, because I am who I am and I literally thought I'd lost the skill, now that I can fucking deep throat again, I am taking advantage of that. I am blowing minds left and right, my friends. Left and right.

This guy has a huge dick and I was able to swallow him to his balls and it was awesome. And I don't mean that in a braggy sort of way. I mean that in a way that any woman who's in a position like mine wants to be memorable okay I want people to know who I am because I spent a lot of my life being actually quite forgettable nobody can remember my name like I'm quite forgettable and it wasn't until I started getting older that I started to realize that sometimes it's just, sometimes it's just a thing. But in this particular arena, I don't want to be forgettable.

I want these moments to be something that like, they're in the shower, their dick gets a little hard. They remember the time that that girl went down. That girl with the stripe in her hair went down to her chin on his balls. I just want that. I just, I don't know why I want that, but it's, I love that. I love the idea that I am going to leave an impression beyond the moment. And I think that's a valid thing for somebody to want when we are basically running numbers with each other. Like we're running body counts. And I adore the fact that I was able to do this.

And I adore the fact that like, it's a sense of pride for me. And I'm sorry about that. I know it sounds like an egotistical thing, tall poppy situation, whatevs. But I very much enjoy the amount of animalistic pleasure that it brings both of us to be in this moment, to be in this feeling, in this heat and in this drive towards one another and this magnetic chemistry that is just, and I mean, seriously, that guy, he blows my fucking mind. He was, I was using my wand and I broke my fucking fingernail because I was using my wand and I was holding on so tightly. I broke my fucking fingernail.

So tragic. But anyway, not the point. The thing is, is that that kind of animalistic pleasure when my husband's at home waiting for me to come home and he's, you know, in his blue panties, just doing the dishes and making sure the dogs are taken care of. That to me is a very desirable moment. And having that, that it's just, it's fucking amazing.

And being a hot wife in this situation, when I'm off doing all of this fun, sexy stuff, and my husband's at home taking care of all the minutiae of our lives, I want to feel guilty about that, but I really can't because my pleasure and my, what I'm bringing home to him is his pleasure. So I am not getting tangled up in the guilt and inequality of it all, because I'm sorry, like for years, women have done the majority of the housework. So I'm not going to feel bad anymore. I'm not going to take that guilt with me. He did me, he did solid good work at the house.

And I was so happy when I came home and it was like, and then I, and I was able to have this time and he was so happy that I was able to have that time and fucking amazing, fucking amazing. And it's awesome to be in a relationship where I am central to his pleasure. My pleasure is his pleasure. And it is so, I mean, people, there's a lot of people who are out there and they don't understand the dynamic of what we're talking about. They don't understand what he gets out of it.

But my husband, when I come home to him, when I have been kissing and fucking and coming for another man, he is, he is every single emotion in the rainbow and all of the joy. And he is like, he's tired. He wants to go to bed. I've been, I've been out really late, but he wants to go to bed, but he still has a I'll see you next time. And he is like, he's tired. He wants to go to bed. I've been, I've been out really late, but he wants to go to bed, but he still has a throbbing hard dick. And he really is just so incredibly turned on by how much pleasure I had.

That is the thing that it's very hard to wrap your hand, your head around when you are not part of it, when you're not in the center of the storm, because it took me a long time and I'm right here. Okay. I'm right here. And it took me a long time to see what it was that he was getting from it and how incredibly joyous he was participating in that capacity, being part of the thought process, because I give him tasks to do.

So he knows that those tasks, as he does them, I'm going to be grateful when I get home that he did that for me while I was doing something for both of us, because whether or not he was there, he got something out of it. Believe me, he got a lot out of it. All right, really quick, I have a listener who has reached out to me.

so i'll start here i'm 45 and my wife is 45 um we've been together over 24 years but married for 20 we've been in some kind of lifestyle for most of our marriage well before that what we were doing was considered the lifestyle we decided to open our marriage throughout this, we haven't had the smoothest of times as we really were just winging it for most of our relationship. Even after our most challenging times, we had to maintain our vanilla family dynamic with only a few close family and friends knowing about our alternative lifestyle.

Since the pandemic, I have continued to learn more about the different aspects of lifestyle and found various communities. Our communication has greatly improved. We have still maintained separate play styles but now we share what we do. I go on I go to various parties and solo bull and she has friends with benefits. I would like to have a play dynamic where our interests meet, but we're not there yet, and she isn't ready to experience that. Recently, her interest in BDSM has been piqued by reading a lot of erotica-type books.

I'm into this type of kink and then some, but because we have never dabbled in it together, she doesn't feel like we can achieve the type of dynamic she's wanting to explore. She started talking to an old friend and discovered that he was a dom. For the past few weeks, their interactions have increased their dominant submissive relationship, has been hot and heavy to the point that she has set up a play date. I'm 100% okay with it, with all of this, and genuinely happy that she was able to explore her sexuality more. But here's my question.

How do I, as her husband, maintain an open mind about exploring into DS relationship? I understand that the more relationship evolves, certain things might become more challenging within the relationship, and I'm not sure what boundaries there should be. Holy shit, I'm sorry for the book I just wrote. I was just trying to give you some background so we could be clear as possible. I'm sure that there's so much I missed. Feel free to ask whatever you need to. Okay. So I'm going to just read through my responses and see if that helps anybody.

I asked what the rules of the relationship, what was the rules of the dominant submissive relationship? And then I said, I will be 100% frank with you. There are aspects of the DS relationship that do not necessarily lead itself to other relationships, but like any good relationships, there are boundaries. There are rules. There are guideposts. You have the most important relationship with her. So you need to set out boundaries as to where her extra BDSM relationship can come into your vanilla life. You have to know what you want and make sure that you're handling all of the decisions.

You're not handing all of the decisions over to the dom. You have to protect yourself. You have to protect your relationship and you have to give her the opportunity to make the choice to put Thank you. decisions, you're not handing all of the decisions over to the dom. You have to protect yourself, you have to protect your relationship, and you have to give her the opportunity to make the choice to put your relationship on the pedestal it deserves to be on. The thing is that when you step into something new, it can feel very exciting and very important.

And sometimes, especially when you're handing over power, it can feel like that's the most important thing in the world. If you set up what you expect and make that part of her negotiation with her dom, that's going to be the Thank you can do. Hard limits are very much a part of the lifestyle and she needs to know where your hard limits are so she can give consent. Important. This is an important thing that we don't, I've often talked about the fact that I'd like to do some crossover and I've actually started working on doing some crossover. Here's the thing. BDSM has become very mainstream.

It has become even more mainstream than swinging. We tend to look at things from a swinger centric point of view, but let's be frank. BDSM is way more accessible to the average American than swinging is, okay? because it still falls in with the parameter of one partner okay so it's a lot more accessible despite the it still falls in with the parameter of one partner, okay? So it's a lot more accessible. Despite the fact that there can be some kinky things to it, it still fits into the guilt-free lifestyle of monogamy, okay?

That being said, everybody who's ever read a book, everybody who's ever seen a show, anybody who's ever been involved in any sort of BDSM forum knows that there is a list of hard limits. There's a list of soft limits and there's a safe word. This is all very, if you're doing it responsibly, set down in advance so that there's no confusion in when you're doing the scene, sitting down before a scene, setting up your boundaries, that's all part and parcel.

So if you are in this type of open relationship, if you're in a swing relationship and you want to figure out how to incorporate, one of you is interested in BDSM. The other one may not be, but one of you definitely is. And here's the thing. I know exactly what she's talking about. I was interested in BDSM and I looked at my husband and I said, I don't think it's going to work because I just don't want to see you in that capacity. I don't want to see you in the person that takes over my whole entire life because I want to have a life with you. So he was not a fit to be my dom.

And I laid it out for him just like that. It's just not something that I really want to explore with you because I feel like it would be very damaging to what we have. And it's something that you have to kind of have a little mystery. And between me and my husband, there's not a lot of mystery. You have to not be 100% in the mindset of the guy who's swinging the flogger. You just have to not know. There has to be an element of danger there. Not danger in a bad way, but danger in an excitement way. Danger in a I don't know what's going to happen kind of way.

But if me and my husband got into it, believe me, I would know exactly what was going on pretty much the whole time because he and I are very communicative in that capacity. So anyway, let's get back to the subject here though. Knowing that somebody's not the right fit for dominating you, that's okay. You don't need to be everything to everybody, which is kind of why we open up our marriages, right? So the fact that she's got an opportunity to explore this kink is well within the parameters of what they have set up. But if you have somebody in your life where your relationship Thank you.

Saying things like, she has to be home by 9 p.m. She has to, like, this relationship has to be, like, it has to fit within the time constraints of our actual life. It has to, like, I can't have her arrested. I can't have her scarred. I can't have her bleeding. I can't have her, like, these are all things that you can say Thank you. have her arrested. I can't have her scarred. I can't have her bleeding. I can't have her like these are all things that you can say. This is not something I can handle you doing. And I'd like that to be part of your negotiation.

Because part of your negotiation between in the lifestyle of swinger, it's okay for you to ask for some things in her relationship with BDSM because this is the primary relationship. This is where the rules start. This is where the consent starts. And if you don't have consent from inside, then inside the relationship, then from there out, it's not, you're basically breaking the rules of your relationship. So taking the time to have the conversation, first of all, it's fucking hot as shit.

It's hot as shit to sit down and say to somebody, I really want you to explore this intimate, this very intimate, this very kinky journey. I want that for you. But this is how I see it affecting me. And this is how I'd like to mitigate some of that and talk about how, you know, I'd like you to be home on weekdays by like 9 p.m. so we can still go to bed together. I'd like to be able to hold you and talk about what happened at this play date, this BDSM date, this scene. On the same day, I'd like to be able to experience what you're experiencing. I'd like to be able to be part of this journey.

All of that is sexy talk. All of that is incredibly, and when you set up boundaries to make yourself comfortable, those boundaries can flex over time. They can evolve. They can get looser. They can get, but you have to have the respect. You have to have the consent. You have to have the us, and then you can have the them because the relationship doesn't work. You just become roommates. If you guys stop doing together, if that makes sense. And that's kind of what I was trying to get to with him.

I was trying to tell him all things are possible within a relationship if there's enough communication.

If there's enough communication and there's enough understanding, we can set down the right ground rules that make everybody comfortable and I think that's I think that's true of most everything it is a beautiful thing to want to explore all the aspects of your sexuality as long as it's safe sane and consensual okay I'm gonna safe sane and consensual you guys right now because I think it's important I don't want anybody running off doing something half cocked because it was part of your sexuality. No, safe, sane and consensual. Okay.

And in this particular case, consensual doesn't just require consent from one person. It requires consent from a lot of people and you have to gather those consents and you have to gather and you have to make all of it work so that there is nobody injured by what you're trying to do. Because without consent, you have injury and it's okay. I'm like, it is okay for my husband to sit down with me and say, I don't want you to do X, Y, and Z when you're with this BDSM guy. It's absolutely fine for my husband to say, I don't want you coming home with whip marks on your ass. Understandable, 100%.

I too would find that very disconcerting. So like, it's okay for him to have some boundaries for me in the relationship where I'm allowed to set up my hard limits and my soft limits in advance. Okay. It's okay for him to have some input on what it is that I'm trying to do because at the end of it all, he is my primary relationship. He is my primary responsibility. He is my primary reason for being out there for doing this, for doing all the stuff. And there are aspects of it that he's not super interested in and doesn't really want to be involved in. And that's okay.

And he's told me what those limits are. And he said, it's fine for me. Like, and we've had a whole conversation, like, it's fine for you to go explore that, but it's not something I really want to be a part of. And that makes sense to me because especially BDSM, my husband's whole role his entire life has been to protect me. His whole goal has been to serve up my pleasure. And he is great at the job, great at the job. But when he sees something that gives him an ick, even if it doesn't give me an ick, if it gives him an ick, it's okay for him to say, I don't want to be, I don't want to see it.

I don't want to be part of it. And I understood from a long time back that my husband was not the kind of person who would willingly hurt me even slightly to, so I would dance along the pleasure pain scale. That's not what he's, that's not what he wants to do. He wants to shower me in nothing but pleasure and nothing but joy. So for me, it was understandable what was going on with my husband and in my husband's thought processes. What I will say, negotiations, communications, consent.

There's a way to get through any type of relationship situation as long as the primary relationship that you are, that you're both willing to protect it, that you're both willing to do what you need to do to make sure that that stays solid. And a hundred percent, I will come back to it. He's my person. Okay. These other people are, they're fun and they're, I really enjoy them and I like them as people and all that good stuff, but they're not going to be the primary concern. He's going to be my primary concern because he's the relationship that makes everything else possible.

He's the one who keeps me grounded and keeps me solid, who keeps me sane, who keeps things like my lights on. So making sure that you have the consent in your relationship and making those hard limits contractually obligated is good. It's a solid way to approach this situation since it does happen to be a kink of a lot of people. It happens to be a kink that people are allowed to explore with a lot more societal grace than swinging. So get your kink on. Safe standing consensually, of course. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Pineapple Pin Up the Hot Wife Life podcast.

Remember, love honey, pineapple 15, get 15% off your order. Remember that you can check out my socials. They are listed in the show description. You can hit me up if you have questions, concerns, things you want to talk about. I am here. Whatever you want to talk about. And if you'd like to come on the show, just let me know. Thank you.