The Date: Connection vs Fantasy Fulfillment

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast, I'm going to talk about the date that kind of caused a little bit of a stir on my last episode. I had a date. It was a random weekday. He came to my house and the goal was to literally fuck all day. That was my hope. That was what I was aiming for when I decided to do this. I was hoping to get a lot of time with him in my house where we could be uninterrupted and really just fuck fest. it started out with the hope that he would get there earlier than he did.

And he didn't get there until a couple hours after I had arranged for him to be there. I had thought that he would be there much earlier, but then life be life. And so he finally shows up and I, of course, do the hostess thing. I give him the tour, show him the house, show him my recording studio, show him, you know, basically things about me. And the tour ended up in my bedroom, at which point I lost all capability of hostessing. I was like, okay, uh, here we are. There's the bed. Let's go. Um, we started with him eating me and holy shit. Okay.

He's very talented, but the magic sauce with him was definitely his finger play. He fingered my ass and my pussy while he ate me. And oh my Jesus, it was good. It was so good. And I was a little bit like, and I did something that I don't know if, I don't know how to say this other than I said this at the time. And it was good that I did it. He started playing with my ass and my instant reaction was, I need to check and make sure that I'm completely clean. And that is because I am nutty about that stuff. Okay. And rather than be in my head and awkward about it, I said, break.

I ran, I got a wipe. I made sure everything was copacetic. I did everything that I needed to do to feel comfortable in the situation. Because the one thing I will say is that I'm great with aspect. I don't mind it at all, but I do have phobias. I do have phobias that there's, you know, a mess that nobody wants to deal with. So because of the fact that I have this phobia, because of the fact that I know that this is my MO and I will be in my head unless I verify it personally. I called a halt, did the thing, came back, and then I was able to enjoy the play.

I was able to not think about what was happening because for me, that's the most important thing. Saying, I need a second to group myself so that I can be fully here. I need a second to make sure that I have all of the things checked off my list so that I don't, I'm not constantly swirling out about something else that doesn't even exist. So I took a moment and I said, I just need a moment. And otherwise I'm going to be crazy all day. And that's a fact, man. That's a fact straight up.

So rather than diminish or put a pale on this moment, I took the time to say what i needed to say to get what i needed to get then we did um oh my jesus did we um he ate me and he fingered my ass and he fingered my pussy and he was getting me going and he was getting me going so well that I was like, Ooh, yes. Um, okay. And then things turned primal. Things turned very must get in, must conquer. and God. And see, that's the thing that I think I sensed in him at the party. I think I sensed in him an aggression that I was on the hunt for. I was looking for something.

I was looking for somebody who could fulfill a certain role. And I think that when I saw that in him, when I found that primalness in him, that made me more excited than I had been in a while, more aggressive about going after this thing and capturing it. Because I think that was the connection that I found. I think I sensed in him that he was going to give me the thing that I had been craving. Give me the thing that I had been anticipating, hoping for, searching for. And yeah, he delivered. So he fucked me.

And I know, I know from experience that a lot of guys are looking for the show when it comes to my squirting. So at the appropriate moment, I had him pull out. And when he pulled out, I mean, I drenched. It was, it was flood warnings. The dam was breaking kind of, and I ended up spraying all over my headboard, my pillows, my nightstand, him, myself, the footboard, because we were laying um, across the bed instead of up and down the bed. And it just, it was, it was ridiculous. It was so much, it was so much. And he was like, yes, this is what I, yes, this is what I came for.

And, um, so I ended up just fucking drenching both of us because it was so rough, so primal, so aggressive. And so, uh, there was a passion there that, um, that went beyond just passion. It went into craving. It went into, um, angsty, like, and for me i had been searching for somebody who would make me feel like that who would make me feel like my pussy was not just wanted but needed somebody who would, no, we're not, I'm not, we're not stopping. We're not, this is this we're full steam ahead. We're going to fuck and we're going to fuck until we drop.

That was the kind of thing that animal energy and that I was really searching for. And that I've been talking about searching for, for a while. And that was what I sensed in this guy. And that was what I ended up getting from this guy. And I don't know if that's connection. If I'm frank, if I'm honest, I don't know. All I know is that this guy had something that I understood on a level beyond beyond the chit chat. I understood that he was a Viking reader, if you will. And because of the fact that he was this energy, he was this alpha energy, I recognized it and wanted it.

And that was where my eagerness came in and my desire to have this thing I'm still troubled with the whole thing. Um, that I got a lot of feedback from my last episode where I was talking about connections and I wasn't sure if I'd made connection with this person or if it was just something else. And I don't, because I don't understand what people talk about when they talk about connection. When I put that out into the universe, I of course got some feedback and some of the feedback was very much like you crossed a line.

And even my husband was like, I felt some kind of way about hearing the podcast, hearing you say that, and I still don't know what it was that crossed that line. I still don't understand where it was. And my husband and I talked about it and my husband and I came to an understanding because I think I explained it a little bit more eloquently when we were talking about it together, because I am a verbal processor. I have to talk things through in order to get there. So anyway, let's get back to the day of debauch. Um, so he fucked me and just kept going. Fucked me.

And I was a disaster and I was soaking the bed and I was, it was Lake Monacom, fuck me. And it, there was flooding in the, in the lake. Um, we, we fucked for a while and literally, I think we did maybe three positions all day long. Um, maybe four, if you count, I'll get there though. Okay. So then we took a break and we just laid there on the bed and we talked. And then I started sucking him again. And then that led to another round of fucking. And at one point I got on top and I was fucking him and he was controlling even that. And that's to me crazy. Okay.

The fact that you can control me when I'm on top, what? That's nuts. So he was controlling every move I made and making sure that I did it exactly the way he wanted it done. And then finally I was like, I can't do this. I'm going to like, not going to be able to come this way. So he rolled me over and then he fucked into me one time and that was it. I was over the edge and I was spraying everywhere and it was amazing.

And then I had, at one point he had shown me some of his tattoos and they were very inspired by his viking heritage and he and so I started playing into that vikingness I started playing into that. Oh, fuck me. Like you just raided my village. Fuck me like a Viking. Fuck me. Like you are pillaging. And like I'm playing into this so hard that he was going nuts. And it was so, um, it was, it was so what I was craving at one point he put his hand on my throat and I instantly came for him.

And that's kind of something that I'm really trying to get to trying to get myself to ask for really, um, just a little bit of danger, a little bit of rawness, a little bit of, ah, because it's, it's something that you don't know you want it till you get it. And then when you get it, you know, you want it, but then it becomes something that if I ask for it, does it ruin it kind of thing? And if I ask for it, will I get it the way I need it? You know, it's, it's kind of, of, sex is so funny. Sex is so, if you ask for it, are you getting what you need? Are you getting it the way you need it?

Because they're not maybe as into it as you are. There's a bunch, there's a bunch of, um, nuance there. And the thing is, is that we as adults need to be able to say, yeah, I mean, that's what I like and be able to own it and be able to say, but the problem is, is when do you say it?

And if you say it in the moment and then they do it, and then they do it in a way that was like, I don't really want to to be doing this does it ruin it because you can totally see saying saying to somebody choke me and like I didn't sign up for murder you know like it's a thing it's it's honest to god catch 22 because you know you want it and you but how do you ask for it? And if you ask for it, are you going to get it the way you want it? It's, it's a lot. It's a lot.

And having conversations, especially with people who are going into a scene with you, having conversations where you discuss certain things before you get into the activity might actually help with that. But how often do you find yourself in a scene? Very rarely. I mean, I got to tell you, I fuck a lot. I fuck a lot of people and I fuck a lot, but rarely do I sit down and have the, this is okay. This is not okay. This is okay. This is a hard limit. This is a soft limit. If we're going to do this, I need you to go slowly. I need to be able to give you my safe or, you know, that kind of thing.

How often do you sit down before, because I'm not talking about BDSM. Okay. I am not talking about, um, domination submissive play.

I am not talking about things that are highly regimented, or I am talking about you've met somebody at a fucking fuck party and everybody is there to do fucking fuck and how do you sit down beforehand and say okay so as we enter this scene you know and the thing is is that a lot of times it's not really that kind of an atmosphere because if somebody puts their hand on your throat in that atmosphere there's going to be some monitors that are going are you okay which I mean god bless the monitors thank you every single one of you you're doing great you're doing great work you're doing what everybody needs you to do and at the same time if they come and interrupt you and take you out of it We'll be right back.

needs you to do. And at the same time, if they come and interrupt you and take you out of it and take you away from that moment that you've just found, does that work either? So here we go. This is, this is not something that you can find in normal, natural, like swing party play. So the fact that I had found this gentleman at a swing party was very, very, um, intriguing to me. And it literally made every single one of my eager puppy vibes tingle to life. Okay. This was me being eager more than probably anything else.

And the way that it sounded on my last podcast probably sounded like that eagerness had come from a spot that instinctively i had known and my instincts were correct that's how i'm gonna kind of word this one you my last podcast was literally recorded after he left he left and I was sitting there pondering the fact that my, I was filled with oxytocin and dopamine and all of those beautiful, beautiful hormones that show that I had a great fucking time. And that's kind of where that questions, those questions started coming from.

They started coming from my hormone hits, from my dopamine drip, from the whole thing. And going back to it, making sure that my husband and I understand where that came from was important to me. And so I did some research. I did some internal review and I realized that what it was that it wasn't so much that this person was my person. No, that's not what he was. What he was, was he was something that I had been looking for. And instinctively, I knew that that was the kind of experience I was hoping for.

That kind of experience that allowed me to be sort of dominated, dominated in a safe, non-structured, non-protocol kind of way. It allowed me to naturally submit to somebody that made me, that gave me, I guess, alpha energy. And that to me was what I'd been looking for. And I'd been looking for it for a long time and my eagerness for finding it and trusting my instincts and going for it. I think that was a lot in that showed up in my podcast that showed up in what I did and what I said.

Anyway, so eventually he, we went three rounds upstairs and then he, after the second time, he said, let's go one more round and then let's go hit your hot tub. And I was like, okay, cool. So we went one more round and oh my God, the man had stamina for days and it was really just fucking amazing. And then we ended up in the hot tub and we were sitting in the hot tub and we were talking and it's freaking two o'clock in the afternoon, bright light of day.

And I have screens that kind of surround my hot tub and nobody's around at two o'clock in the afternoon on a Thursday, but it was still so exhibitionist. It was still so like, it was a thing. It was a, we ended up, he stood up to grab something, his vape, I think he stood up to grab his vape. And then as he was crossing the hot tub, he kind of paused in front of me and went, well, this is great positioning and ended up fucking my mouth. And he fucked my mouth for a while because I love a good blowjob. I love being able to suck and worship a cock.

Just let it slide through every millimeter of my mouth. Use my tongue to press that vein along the bottom side as it heads towards my throat. Just all of that, just every morsel and the sounds that they make and the, and the fact that every piece of my body is of service to this dick is just, it's fucking outrageously hot. And then I got him almost there. I got him almost there. And then he was like, stand up. And he put me over the side of the hot tub and fucked me. And God, it was so good.

It was so good it was so it was outdoors and it was voyeuristic and it was exhibitionist and it was primal and it was raw and it was he was on that edge because I had brought him there and he now wanted me to be there capturing fucking usable for his dick. And it was so hot. It was like, it was an out of body experience for me. It was so good. And so, and really what else is there to say beyond the, I don't know, of it all. i got an email after my last podcast. So on my lunch break at work, I listened to your podcast and we were talking about your connection to this guy.

And you asked, I believe I should have wrote yesterday while I was still fresh, but the work gets in the way of our social life so much. I believe you asked, what does connection mean to you in the lifestyle? This is kind of fascinating. This kind of fascinated me because it's one thing about your guys' dynamic that is different in the aspect from us, since we have a stag vixen dynamic as well. Not so much the hot wife aspect where she goes out on her own. I'm always there with her and 90% of the time participate in the play. Although I may watch from time to time.

We also do play with couples, but that's more rare than our MFMs. It's simply because MFMs are her favorite thing. She loves the attention. So we do like a connection in our meets, and we have the kind of, we have to have some kind of intellectual attraction as well as physical.

However, for us, and we would never yuck someone else's yum, so to speak, but it's hard to wrap our head around the deepness, for the lack of a better term, that you have where you text and talk on your own to another man and the relationship in your story gets to what we would both consider red flag territory uh we are much newer than you guys to the ls um only about a year right now but when we got into the whole the whole reason was to see each other's joy when we play through that, we found out my joy really comes from watching her, hearing her sounds, looking into her eyes when she's having the time of her life.

Why this joy is more than me playing with another person is something I can't really explain. Maybe it's not dealing with the stress of making someone else outside of us happy and having to learn what this person likes or doesn't like, especially if they are not very vocal or use their words to say what they like or don't like. But this leads to the question of what happens if she, or I guess myself for that matter, just less likely, gets too close to another play partner.

So we have talked about this extensively and our decision was to put in preventative measures first, such as she would never text her bull, even if it was a regular alone, I would always be on the text as well. Of course she can say or flirt anything she likes, but if for any reason I felt like things were getting too serious, I can say, well, let's pump the brakes here and make sure that we're being careful. Haven't had to say that as yet. I think we're just so much on the same page. She would sense it before it happened and pump the brakes herself.

The next measure that we have in place is absolute veto power for both of us. If one of us doesn't like the person or the situation, we can say no, and that's the end of it, no questions asked. Of course, we will talk about the whys afterwards and assess. So all that is to say, I guess I feel like the territory you're getting into with this person on an emotional level appeared to be much more cerebral and, in my opinion, too deep. If there was a way, if it were us, we would step back and ask ourselves, why do we get, why did we get into this again? What is our goal?

Are we looking to make great friends with benefits and enjoy the pleasure we each have? What kind of connection do we really want? And when we do that as a couple, we agree that we don't want a deeper connection, though we do need somewhat of a connection that may, if that makes sense. For me, if I texted the wife of another couple alone, it would no doubt hurt her feelings. And that is the last thing I would want to do. This woman is my life and my world, my everything. And I feel that she's the same for me.

We would limit our connection before something could do harm to what we have in any way. Not that this is possible with how we play, just much less likely we feel something of the precautions we have put in place. Some background with us for context to all of this, we were both previously married. And for me, I had a wife that I found out cheated multiple times through our 19-year marriage, and I couldn't live with that. Also, we were actually in the LS when it happened, just dabbling at that time. But no doubt in it, we were purely couples at the time.

So she was cheating while we were doing this, but the lifestyle had nothing to do with it. And when I found out basically the pat, it was a pattern thing, no matter where we lived it, I was, um, so we moved around quite, quite a bit and I found out all that it came to happen multiple times during our marriage and in different places. Um, the relationship I have now with my wife is just so incredible and different. I feel I have the best wife in the world and we've been together now 21 years and married for almost 18 of those.

So maybe it's a protection mechanism for us to still have all the fun that intrigues us, but also safeguard our marriage, which we feel we don't necessarily have to do. But also since we are playing with fire a bit, we know how quickly the flame can go beyond our control. I know that was rambling a bit, and I hope all this makes sense and answer your question from a listener's perspective with a similar yet different dynamic. We do love hearing about your experiences in your podcast. Okay, so I'm going to approach this one. Just give you some of my also guardrails.

My husband and I have a phone that we share. It is what we call our play phone. And my husband has access to all of my phones, all of my communications, anytime, anywhere. This is not a, this is not guarded secret territory. This is very much he and I are on the same page and stay on the same page and honestly my connection to this gentleman as I may have explained in the last segment was probably coming across a little bit more um a little bit deeper than it probably was. He and I texted flirt.

It was flirt texting and saying dirty shit to each other to hype up the moment when he showed up here and fucked me. And it's not like we got into our hopes and dreams for the future, our building blocks of financial security. And we weren't doing that. We were literally tickling each other's genitalia via text. And for me, that in and of itself is kind of unusual behavior. I have not been great at communicating with people for a very long time.

And the fact that this guy spoke to something I knew, I knew in my soul, in my heart of hearts, something I was looking for, something I was seeking, something I had talked to my husband about seeking a million fucking times. The fact that I knew that he had it and then it ended up that he did. And I was A, right. And B, like getting this thing was to me, I was a puppy. I was bouncing. I was ecstatic and excited, but I don't think my husband has anything to fear that I'm going to run off with this guy because he fucked me and he fucked me well. He fucked me good. And then he went home.

And then you know what happened? My husband came home and I told him all about it. And I used all of that to get my husband off. I got him off hard using the information from what I had done that day. Because ultimately, I want my husband to feel it. I want my husband to relive it with me. I want my husband to know what it was that caused me to go full puppy excitement mode because it was something I wanted, something I craved, something I needed, and he fucking gave it to me. And I can't be sad about that.

And I cannot, in any way, shape, or form, deny that it was a connection on a level that I had been searching for, but not an emotional connection. It was a physical desire. It was a physical fantasy fulfillment opportunity. And the fact that I not only jumped at it and did everything I could to make it everything I needed it to be, speaks to the fact that my husband has given me license to know myself, to know what it is that I am looking for and go out and find it.

And the fact that my husband is strong enough and giving enough to allow me this opportunity makes me the luckiest fucking woman in the world, makes me without a doubt the like cake and frosting and eating it too. It is layers and layers of gratitude that I have for my husband. And he's also got layers and layers of gratitude towards me. And my relationship with my husband is built on the fact that there are no secrets.

There's nothing that's going on in my world that he's not fully aware of and fully able to go and look at and see if he has reason to feel a little ick, a little off, a little, is it something that he needs to be worried about? And after we spoke, because he listened to the podcast and he had his moment where I was coming off very eager puppy, very desirous of wanting that experience more. Did he have something to be alarmed about? Did he have something to be worried about? And I don't think he's worried anymore. I don't think that's what it is.

Because there are people out there who are going to be able to fulfill fantasies that you've had forever. And there are people out there who are going to be able to take you on a journey that you and your partner may not be able to take yourselves. And that's a good thing. That's kind of why we're in the lifestyle. We're not in the lifestyle to exchange recipes. We're not in the lifestyle to create lasting friendships. This is not what this is.

What we are here to do is fulfill some fantasies fulfill some desires to fulfill some kinks and god love us for fucking having those kinks and knowing what they are and going out and getting them and for that i say hooray and so i'm not worried about my relationship and i don't think my husband is worried about my relationship with him. I think my husband and I are on very solid ground because when something came up, when he had a moment of, he actually talked to me about it. And I explained my position. And from that position, he got the understanding of what I was eager for.

He got the understanding of what it was that I was seeking and I suddenly found. And for that, good on you, baby. Good on you. So yes, there are going to be moments when things come up that are outside of the purview of the rules that you had in place and things might hit differently at different moments. But the key is go back to the communication that started it all. Go back and talk about what it is that you felt so that they can explain what it is they felt and make sure that you guys are both still on the same page. If something is changing, if something is altering, it may be nothing.

It may be something, but take it, You know, take the time to figure it out. Delve deep, have the conversation, go further. Because when you go further and when you, it allows this thing that was really for me, fucking miraculous. Okay. It was for me so good and so fulfilling that I did not want my husband to take that as a bad thing. I wanted him to know that this was exactly what it was, a fantasy fulfillment moment for me. This is dangerous territory. But here's the thing. I am going to talk to somebody who started in the lifestyle and ended up in a polyamory situation because of connection.

And she's going to be my guest, um, probably next week. So just so you know, I am exploring this further. I had another listener email that I want to share because I thought it was so cool. Okay. So here's a little story for you. My wife left town Thursday morning. So I decided to go to a local bar that has decent pizza and at a good price. And the bartender, we'll call her N, she makes great old fashioned and Manhattans. So after pizza, she and I had a good time picking out bourbons and rice for my drink. I think I had about three in all.

And she started telling me about her favorite way to make a martini. And I was like, well, that's enough for tonight. But when do you work next? Saturday. So we agreed that I'd come back on Saturday. And when I first walked in to the place, it was packed because there was a concert across the street. And once it cleared out with the people, when all the people had left, there were three different guys, not all together, that were just getting on my nerves. So as I finished my pizza this time, Ann was walking by me on the outside of the bar.

And I leaned back and I stopped her and said, I'm going to head out. I'm just not feeling the vibe in here tonight. She agreed that it was definitely off and agreed that we should try another time. So my whole point of telling you this is that if I hadn't been listening to your podcast, if I hadn't, um, I may have tried to power through the situation and recreate the fun she and I had had, even though I wasn't feeling in. Instead, I left the off situation and enjoyed bourbon on my patio at home. Okay, let's talk about that for a second.

That's the best part about the lifestyle and the lessons that you learn. You really do know when it's just not there, when the thing that you're seeking is just not the vibe that's going to be had. I loved this, the fact that he took something that I had said on this podcast and established it in his real life as a lesson learned through something that I had been through. It's good to assess your surroundings. It's good to assess where you are and where you are emotionally when it comes to this, when it comes to doing this thing called life.

When you take the time to think about how do I really feel and where's my consent level and how much of this am I doing just because I'm trying to please someone else. It's great to stand in your own consent and realize where it's coming from and realize what it is that you were seeking. And if the end result is of powering through is going to get you there. And mind you, there are times when you shouldn't give up on something just because it feels off in a moment. There are times when you should probably power through.

But knowing what it is that you're striving for, and knowing when you're not feeling it, and when you know you're not going to get there, that's also very useful information. it's useful information for you yourself to make sure that as you go through life, you can be fully present. You can be fully present and not have doubt niggling the back of your mind. So same thing I said about when I took a pause in my play.

sometimes you do things to ensure that you can be 100% present and that you can enjoy the time that you're there and you're not trying to force something despite the fact that you're distracted by other things. I am so grateful that this person sent me this message and told me this story, because I think it's an important story to know that taking consent, taking stock of what it is you're looking for and giving yourself consent to do things can be anywhere, everywhere. It's not just a lifestyle trait. It's an everything trait.

Thank you so much for joining me today on the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot hot wife life podcast um please don't hesitate to reach out to me um you can reach me by instagram dms you can reach me by you can reach me pretty much anywhere you can definitely reach out to me on my gmail pineapple pinuppod at gmail.com. Reach out to me. Let's talk.