Reporting from a sad hotel room

Transcript

welcome to the pineapple pinup the hot wife life on today's episode i'm coming to you from inside of the hotel room of what was supposed to be an epic night but i got stood up as happens when you're in the lifestyle so today instead of telling you spicy stories about what took place last night i'm going to be telling you stories of how it all began I'll see you next time. So today, instead of telling you spicy stories about what took place last night, I'm going to be telling you stories of how it all began.

So I guess I'm going to tell you about how it began, stuttered, began, stuttered, really, really began. When I was much younger, my children were too young. I was working at a company where I met a woman who we became very, very close and she ended up telling me about the excitement and action that was going on with her and her husband joining the lifestyle. She told me about going to events, hotel parties, and she invited us to come along. I told my husband about it, and he was intrigued. And he said, yeah, let's definitely go along.

So we invited my very best friend to go with us, and we coined her our unicorn. Completely oblivious, completely not really lifestyle aware. We went to this party basically to watch. Now it was a hotel party where they took over the entire floor of the hotel.

And we did this a couple of different times uh with the this same party um one time we all all three of the girls that were there tried the symbion that was there which was actually what got me addicted to a symbion and what sparked my husband buying me Symbian with all of the attachments because I love that man he knows me so we went to a couple of different hotel parties and never really did anything I think the most action my husband got was I sucked his cock a little bit and that was in front of our friends and it was a little bit awkward I think but anywho it was it was a lot it was a lot going on it was a lot going down so we didn't really take off in that environment.

So my husband and I had yet another conversation sparked by a Katy Perry song, and he had actually joined SLS from our original foray into the lifestyle.

and he found us a party a hotel party that was for it was a blacked out hotel party we had the entire floor we went there I was dressed in a little black skirt and a beautiful purple corset that I have since lost and I miss it every day oh and we were chatting and we were talking to people and a man came up to me and asked me if he could touch my breasts I said sure my husband came over while the man was touching my breast and said okay it's just touching it's just touching that was a cue to me that he was trying very hard not to freak out. And if I'm honest, that's why we did not continue.

We did not continue because I did not want to put my husband through that emotional crisis every single time somebody got close to me. And it was extraordinarily tough to get him what I felt was comfortable. What's interesting, though, is that I met a couple of people and I ended up speaking to them for a very long time. As a matter of fact, we're still Facebook friends with several of these people that we met back then. We'd attended maybe three parties throughout that time. And it was fun to meet people and it was exciting.

And unfortunately, it just wasn't the time time we did not have time to commit to the two of us because we had so much going on with younger children and it just did not work out very well so my husband and I kind of came to the well actually I came to the decision that I couldn't put my husband through this anymore. I couldn't put my husband through the anxiety and the insecurity that came with all of this. Now, that was me making decisions on his behalf that he did not need me to make. I jumped the gun because I felt his discomfort so heavily that I became sort of empathetic to his struggle.

and tried to take it on as my own tried to save him from that struggle but that struggle is actually kind of part of this it's part of this endeavor it's part of this because that is what he is trying to work through his insecurity his confusion in why this is such a turn-on and such a fear and how to balance the two so for me to step in and say we're not doing this right now this was not a good idea was me taking over his it was taking over his decision making process because of the fact that I basically stated flat out that I don't think you're ready for this that didn't have anything to do with me and that wasn't my emotional state i was fine he i was worried that i was going to lose him so i called a halt to it but here's the greatest part about this lifestyle either party can call a halt to it but we as women tend to take on the emotions of other people.

As a matter of fact, I went to a party, well, I went to a gathering yesterday and a woman told a story about having sucked a cock. She was not interested in sucking because there were expectations there. So she followed the programming of her female brain and went ahead and did something she did not want. And it ended up catastrophic. And the husband piped in thinking he was helping and ended up creating an even bigger mess of the situation.

But the thing is we as women tend to take things on that we feel like emotionally we're expected to take on without complaint and I gotta tell you that's real consent. We have to think about what we want more than what the other people in the room want. Because if we're just walking around being emotional meat puppets, what's the point?

The whole point of this is to find pleasure in everything in a group and if something is not your cup of tea not floating your boat you don't want dick taffy in your mouth then you gotta stand up and say i don't want dick taffy in my mouth you've got to stand up and say this is not working for me i there is no there is no arousal for me in this scenario but we as women tend to take stuff on that we're really not supposed to I went, guys, kind of check in.

Check in and see if she is phoning it in or if she is giving you everything she's got because I got to tell you that connection between your brain and your heart and your pussy it it's a real thing and it can take things to a level so high you would not even be able to imagine it we as women are capable of multiple orgasms we are capable of great stretching great there's so many things that we are capable of within our body our hearts and our minds that if you're tapping in you're getting the full show because of that of wanting that passion and that desire, I opened myself up to being put into situations where I was going to try and do things that were uncomfortable to me because I wanted, I was wanting or hoping for that emotional exchange.

And some of them weren't so great.

I'd like to talk about that oh of course you would hey I didn't even bite you on my I didn't invite you on my podcast to be shy that's true okay so so there come when you're a little baby kink and you're just starting out and you you know have a couple of really cool experiences and meet a cool person like pineapple pinup over here and they start telling you stories and it sounds amazing and then you get a little big for your britches and you decide to try a whole bunch of things and a scenario that ain't now looking back on it had red flags written all over it yes it did okay so she went out with uh call him johan yeah okay so we'll call him johan or johan johan sorry to all my swedish listeners.

All your Scandinavians. I'm sorry she's butchering your mother tongue. Oh God, I said tongue. Here she goes. So we were actually both friends with Johan. Yes. And he wanted to dominate you. Right. And usually I was the one that would dominate him. Exactly. So it was a switch situation. Yes. And being as you had not been submissive really before, you did not understand. And I'm speaking for you here, and I know that. so bear with it. Just grit your teeth and live through it. She does that, y'all. You did not understand, safe word, what it was for, and what it actually meant.

Because for some reason, you thought that that safe word was calling things to a halt not stopping for clarification so yeah i don't even think that we discussed a safe word which again first red flag um yeah but again i put trust in this person and let me just preface this by saying that this person in no way was doing any of this intentionally he was just as ill experienced in this as i was so it was like two baby baby kinks thinking they could be big girl big girl kinks some big boy kinks and it was a big ol' hot kink mess that really did i'm really sorry it really did some damage it did it did it broke a lot of trust it did and that is the danger i mean my hat's off he put a lot of thought into the scenario like he really was creative but as a baby kink it never occurred to me to ask him to lay out exactly what it was so that we could negotiate what was good what was a go what was a no-go out of that situation i was just told to be ready at a certain time what to wear and that was pretty much it yeah and now I know that when you have these situations that you have to get consent and negotiate not even I want to say negotiate but you lay out this is what I'd like to do mm-hmm what are you cool with and what are you not cool with what are your boundary limits what are your limits which ones are hard which ones are soft and I you know in my enthusiasm to try new things I completely didn't even acknowledge my boundaries or any of the things that we were we were doing even in the moment it was like oh this is different oh I feel like I'm living it out some sort of fantasy but it wasn't mine wasn't mine for sure um and it was very uh industrial it was very industrial it was like I felt like he maybe had watched some really like dark underground kinks at some point.

Or just the stuff from, what's that one? Ex-Hamster. No, not Ex-Hamster. Kinkster. BDSM-bler? I don't know.

It's a particular company company that puts out bdsm movies and they have like a castle in the beginning i can't remember the name of it maybe your readers or sorry your listeners will know um but uh it yeah it was just it was not at all emotional uh it was not at all hot there was no no orgasms for me for me there was not in a denial sort of wages no just there was there wasn't and he there was no checking in there and it was just you know you had a checklist in his head he was going by the check and again let me preface let me just reiterate that he wasn't he wasn't being like hateful or mean or anything like that and that just goes to show you that even though we were giggling at some points in it that the damage can still be done if somebody is giggling and kind of physically going along but you never had those conversations because giggling is actually kind of a fear response sometimes for people who aren't brats yes for people even people who are brats like I I know from personal experience when I'm in a situation where I'm not entirely sure a lot of times I will break out in nervous laughter yeah and you've got to you've got to recognize what you're what's going on in your body you got to speak up but eventually you did speak up eventually you said this is not i need i need to go so i mean actually i didn't um it we it ended because it ended he came you know and so then grand finale yeah the very not grand finale for me uh but you know it ended because he was really afraid that like somebody would walk in because it was his place of work oh okay and then we went back to the hotel room that i had gotten and proceeded to try to do different like a different scenario and it was just a it was a disaster the whole thing was a disaster and i didn't know it was a disaster now i well i probably deep down knew but i wasn't letting myself think it was a disaster.

Well, I probably deep down knew, but I wasn't letting myself think it was a disaster until I called you to explain, to go into detail about all the fun things that had happened, and you were like, that sounds terrible. That's not good at all. This makes me sad for you. Like, she was just like, and then when she said that, the floodgates opened, there was no aftercare. There was nothing to, for my safety, for my concern. I mean, literally there was just nothing.

And it was, it was a really hard to deal with that afterwards and then what do I do because I I'm an emotional cutter and sometimes like to beat myself up on things is that because it didn't give me what I was longing for which was that emotional connection almost that that daddy little girl kind of thing you know I like a pleasure doll myself I'm not really looking for someone it's gonna be the shit out of me right that's what I. I do plenty to myself. I don't need help in that regard. But I had searched and was talking to somebody else, and I was like, oh, I'll be passing that way.

Let me meet him in the parking lot. And that was awful too. And nothing sexual happened. It was just ick. And then we met up with Daddy Jay.

I met up with daddy jay based off of your recommendation for the care that i was going to need right um and it was so helpful but the damage had already exactly been done at that point exactly you'd had too much time to process or not enough time to process no you've had you'd had too much time to process between the trauma before the aftercare started to bring you down you'd had too much time to go through I'd already done the dip yeah that sub dip that much a real thing for Dom's to the Dom's have a crash as well so that emotional recalibrating mm-hmm is not gonna help as much past the dip and especially not the person who actually did the damage exactly right so it was like a band-aid a well-meaning and lovely band-aid and I appreciate that band-aid very much it was like a lifeline cuz I was like wait a minute I feel so weird and uh wasn't this fun and Teresa's like no It's okay, I've got a thing.

Pineapple Bennett was like, no. Yeah. Okay, I've got a thing. Pineapple Bennett was like, no. Yes, but. Anyway, so after that, you know, I had no interest in being in a submissive role for a bit. And it wasn't until I really started to connect more with pet that we started to switch. And that was definitely offering me a lot more of what I was looking for and culminated in one of the most amazing scenes I've ever had to date. That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome.

All right, we're pausing okay so today i'm getting one of my questions answered this is a response i got from we'll call him dave um hello in one of your more recent podcasts you asked about guys being so focused on their stamina at parties that they leave without having an orgasm themselves i thought i'd chime in first off i've never been to a sex party just an anonymous bisexual encounter and a bi mmf threesome but i've also but i've almost always been able to control myself and been able to pleasure partner several times not every time but who's counting I guess for me I get a lot out of watching others have orgasms I mean I really like watching others have orgasms a friend told me it's a version of compersion I looked it up and this definition fits maybe the guys leave without having had their own orgasm or are leaving with their own version of compersion and it feels and feel completely sated not sure if that's the answer makes sense or but that's what came to mind.

Compersion is related to sympathetic joy, which are wholehearted participation of the happiness of others. It includes positive thoughts, emotions, and sensations derived from knowing another person's gratifying experience, even when the experience does not involve or benefit us directly. directly. This is basically the same thing as the phrase I always use. Oh my goodness, it's gone right now. But compersion is a great definition for what it is that is going on. It's that mirror neuron. That's the thing I was looking for. Damn it. Um, this is mirror neuron.

This is feeling the joy that's happening within somebody else because you understand it. You understand it physiologically. And so therefore it's giving you a form of that same thing. So this is my, I really appreciate the feedback on that because it really did worry me. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of the Hot W life podcast i really wish that i had more to report from this hotel room but i don't and i honestly i hope you guys are all having fun out there reach out to me give me something and i will see if i can share it for you.

My email address is pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening.