Pre Game... The party before the party

Transcript

Welcome to the pineapple pinup the hot wife life podcast. On today's episode, we're going to talk about the game before the game pregame. Why is it important? Tune in to find out. My husband and I often go to parties. These are usually held at hotels and when we go to these hotel parties several times I'm not going to say all the time we will get a hotel room of our own that we can use as a home base a place for my husband to escape if things are getting too crazy. A place for us to drag a gentleman caller back if there's no place to play over there. That's never really happened.

I'm not entirely sure if that's actually in the game plan but whatever. But most of the time what we use it for is pre-game. Now pre-game is Let's do this. Um, but most of the time what we use it for is pregame. Now, pregame is where we call one or two friends to come over prior to the party to play with us exclusively. This gives my husband the opportunity to create, to collect some content, um, snap photos, take videos. He is a very visual rememberer. He likes to relive those moments and by reliving the time before it can lead him into what followed after in his memory banks.

For him, it is 50% of what we do. That's why if we went exclusively party, we would never have any sort of content. That's why my husband is a huge fan of the pregame. I'm going to tell you a story about the last pregame that we had. Um, I had met a gentleman from a foreign country at the previous party that we'd gone to and he was scheduled to attend this party as well because he knew that I was going to be there.

We had mentioned to him that we were getting a hotel room prior to and that if he wanted to show up early we could possibly have a little bit of fun now this is something that I don't know if the party host really I know he doesn't know about it before we do it um occasionally my husband will out people by posting things on our social that alerts the party host that we are in fact pre-gaming and that has gotten me kind of burned a couple times at the actual party but this last time when we had this pre-game it was amazing um he was the one with a very, very long hello, and it was magnificent.

And when he came over, he and I fit together. He is tall. I am tall. He is narrow where I am not. Um, and he fits and when he's got an affectionate nickname, the Jackrabbit. And when he is Jackrabbiting away, um, it is the key to unlocking the entire watershed for the entire river valley. It fills up like, want to come fuck me? It fills up the fucking come falls. It fills the puddles and the ponds and the entire beaver valley. Um, it is really nice when he and I are together. I don't know.

I don of this particular kink is the ability to relive it and the ability to relive it comes through filming it and watching it again he really enjoys taking photos of me and taking videos of me in these moments because that is his way to hold on to these moments for a very long time I cannot stress enough that these are his moments I hate I'm sorry I'm a big girl I do not like to see myself on film and you know what I know that about that about myself. And so I don't do it. I know the negative self-talk. I know what I'm going to say inside my head.

And I avoid that because there's absolutely no reason to downgrade anyone else's memory of what happened by the way I'm thinking about the way I look. It is narcissistic, I know, but I'm not going to put myself or anyone else through what's going on inside of my head when I know that there's enjoyment out there for others to have.

so I avoid things that trigger the inner self-hating demon because whether we like it or not we all have one so I don't watch the videos but my husband does and he thoroughly enjoys them he thoroughly relives the moment watching the pleasure that I'm getting which mirror neuron straight into his brain and gives him the same pleasure we are very connected in that way because he has these pieces of time that he can relive. It's why cavemen drew on the cave walls. To capture moments in time. To tell stories through picture.

Technology has come so freaking far that anybody with a phone in their pocket can take these moments and capture them. So I am happy to be the star of the show that my husband watches. I am so happy that that is something else that he and I can do together that connects us so deeply. But you probably weren't here to hear about that you're probably here to hear about the jackrabbit. Um, it is amazing how deep that man can stroke. It is insane. Um, I am a huge fan um we spent probably 45 minutes together before the party even started. And then we hooked up again at the party.

I really don't think that this particular episode is going to have my usual flow because for some reason I am all over the place. I am in and out. I'm up and down. I'm not in that room. I'm not in that room, that pregame room. And I don't know why that is, but I can tell you, I did have a really great time in that particular pregame. And then to go to the party and be already warmed up and in the headspace and ready to go really helps. I am lasting a lot longer at parties than I used to because the pleasure is immense. The kink is enthralling. The connection to my husband is insane.

The depths of things that your body and mind go through when you're in the throes of this can't be described. Now mind you, the novelty of it does wear off. It's no longer novel to go to a party. What makes each party interesting is the cast of characters that show up, the different faces that come through the just it's so much pleasure and fun and it's a community and there's nothing better than having your community with you. It's just really great to have a community of people that you know, understand, are there for the same reasons. It's awesome. I don't know.

of people that you know understand are there for the same reasons um it's awesome uh but pre-gaming pre-gaming are the moments that are very pleasurable for me but I give those to my husband because that's how he captures time in a bottle. That's how he is allowed to have an entire week of that high, that kink life high. So I want to talk about the intersection of drinking and kink or drugs and kink uh there is a lot of social lubrication that some people need in order to do this particular to do any sort of kink.

I do know that the rules of consent when it comes to someone who's inebriated are very, very touch and go. So for me, I am not a drinker per se. I don't really do drugs. And I don't judge anyone else's isms. I do have a very hard time when drink becomes drunk and we're in a party setting where you are quote-unquote giving consent in a state in which consent cannot be provided. And if something bad were to happen, you would not be able to have any recourse. And because you are in an altered state, you're not really able to communicate to somebody else that something bad is happening.

Because you may not even be aware until the next day that something bad took place. Recently, I have been to a few parties where drink became drunk and it was a legitimate issue, not in a consent factor, but in just a hygiene or activity sort of behavior situation. I am scared when people drink too much around me. I have childhood trauma that I have may have mentioned a time or two that makes it so I don't feel safe when people are getting beyond drink. for me, it's got bad connotations for the women. It's got repercussions for the men. And for the party host, it's got legal complications.

I understand the need to quell the anxiety, but when you've gone past quelling and into dangerous behavior, it puts the entire thing at risk. The entire community at risk. Because if we lose our venues, if we lose our rights to play if for some reason something illegal takes place and the cops become involved all of this has repercussions around it and will seriously make the hosts consider not doing it again I recently went well I hosted a party and if my name had been the one that had rented the hotel room, I would have been extremely upset.

As it was, I was uncomfortable because some activity took place that didn't need to. There was no reason for these things that took place to happen, but they put everybody at risk. I guess my PSA for today is you are there representing more than just yourself. You are there as a member of the whole community. And if your behavior ruins it for the entire group. What kind of lasting impact is that going to have on you? I am not here to yuck anyone's yum. and I am not here to yuck anyone's yum and I am not here to cast judgment on anyone's ism.

My only request is that when we are in these situations where all of our rafts are tied together, think about not going rogue. And party hosts need to really consider whether or not alcohol is allowed at their, and how much alcohol is allowed. I do know that in clubs, there's like a two drink minimum, or I'm sorry, two drink maximum. You're given tickets, and once you've run out of those tickets, that's it. So, if this is something that's going to affect everyone, Thank you. So, if this is something that's going to affect everyone, tell me how you feel about it. Am I alone?

Am I the only one who thinks that this is dangerous? Am I the only one who thinks that this could have consequences? Anyway, if you have some thoughts or ideas, hit me up, the pineapple, sorry, pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. So today's question is from Jagged. What got you interested in kink? Okay. I'm an avid reader or I was when I had an attention span longer than a Nats, but, um, I was an avid reader growing up. I used to read all sorts of, like, mysteries stuff. And then I guess when I was about 13, I got a teen romance book.

And then that romance book led to smut books and then the smut books led to one-handed reads. And then one-handed reads led me to finding erotica online. Finding erotica online led me to a whole world of kink that I had not really considered. I started writing because so many of the things that I was, so many of the things that I was reading were written by people who were amateurs. And I didn't like the way they took the story. The story went in a direction that felt implausible to me. And so I started rewriting a lot of the things that I had come across.

A lot of the things that I felt were very good ideas on their face. And then they just took a turn in the middle. That was not where the story should have gone in my own pea brain, little head. Okay. Um, I then started talking. I had friends that were very into role play. Um, I, there was, when I was 17, there was a much older gentleman who was very interested in being my sugar daddy. this is all to say that I read my way in because I found the thing that connected me to my trauma, gave my trauma an outlet. And when I started writing, it opened up a whole new world to me.

And that is actually what led me to kink. I am a huge fan of erotica. I am a huge fan of anybody who puts their pen to paper and puts it out there for the world to see. And I give anyone who does that grace, despite the fact that in my P head, it did not go the way that I thought it was going to go. And therefore, the story stopped making sense to me. Um, that has nothing to do with the writing that has everything to do with me and my traumas. My traumas need to work themselves out in a very specific way. And that's what I found I could do in writing.

I could create the ending that the story needed. I could realign the trauma bits into a storyline with ebbs and flows and rises and falls and ultimately a conclusion. That's how I got started in kink.

Because when you immerse yourself in that way way when you read and you discover and you find the things that speak to you the things that make sense to you the things that talk to that little bit of unhealed scarring inside of you it helps you to smooth the edges it helps you to release the fear undo the anxiety and find a new way to process everything you've been through kink is not for everyone and as long as it is your cup of tea i love that for you i love the different things that kink can bring to life and i love the fact that it has allowed me to become a fully functioning adult, a fully functioning, fully present adult working through my own issues.

And mind you, I am not healed. I am not a poster child for, for mental health, but I'm out in the world and I'm happy and I take joy and I can be present and what more can you ask for I have bouts but you know what nothing lasts forever Here we go. I have bouts but you know what nothing lasts forever and I am so grateful that I found kink to help me work through the anxiety and the trauma and find a community on the other side because that's what we all need, right? Community, connection, understanding between humans.

And I really hope that on your journey that's what you're finding I hope you're finding kink that quells your anxiety and lets you write the happy ending that's all I want for everybody everybody. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of the Pineapple Pinup Hot Wife Life. I am really, really loving doing this podcast and I hope that you're getting something from it. If you have questions, comments, suggestions, please don't hesitate to hit me up. My email address is pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. Reach out. Let's touch base. Thanks.