naughty -gras bead for dirty girls

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life, Swingers Pod. On today's episode, I want to, I'm going to go over the Naughty Grah party that we went to. I'm going to go over a couple of emails, questions I've received. And I am also going to talk about something, um, the way that we're being represented in mainstream media. Um, and then of course, there is one bit of business that I need to take care of. Um, for my friends in California that asked me the best app to use, it is going to be Cassidy, K-A-S-A-S-I-D-I-E.

That one is the best app to use in the Southern California area, according to my sources. resources. Saturday night, we went to Naughty Gra. It was a party hosted by Eating and Nevers, and we actually took my friend Scoot with us. She's been talking about, um, getting back into the life and, and she wanted to just catch the vibe, see what it was like. So we took her with us to this party and we were super early and by that I mean super early. We were the first ones there. Um, they were still in the middle of setting up. It was still them mad dashing through everything.

Um, so the nice thing is, is it gave me and Scoot's time to sit down and just chat. The theme was, of course, Mardi Gras. And the big hook was every time a female's caught doing something, every time the female's caught doing something naughty, she gets these beads. Now, as a pillow princess in her natural environment, when I lay down, those beads just started choking me. so as the night progressed and I got more and more of the beads, which they didn't work the way that everybody was kind of hoping that they would, because the guys didn't really start handing them out.

Um, they just at one point handed me handfuls of them and then, um, but I ended up having to give them to my husband because I was Thank you. one point handed me handfuls of them. And then, um, but I ended up having to give them to my husband because I was literally dying as I lay there and they choked the life from me. Um, so that was the general theme. And by the time the party started, the only females present were me, Scoot, and another young lady who didn't really appear to want to play. She was on her way somewhere else.

So she was sort of like using this party to get ready to go to the next party. It was a little strange. Um, and she spent a lot of time talking to my husband. So I'm not a hundred percent sure what her vibe was, but it ended up being for a very good portion of the party, just me. Now this is the start of allergy season. And I tend to get a lot of sinus migraines. And I had been battling one since the day before. And I had gotten rid of it. And then I got it back on Saturday. And then I slept most of the day to try to get rid of it. And I got rid of it.

But then it was one of those that was waxing and waning all the time. So, um, bear that in mind that I did leave very fucking early because my headache was back. My migraine was, and it was starting to give me auras and I was like, I can't do this. So, um, but I really did try to rally if that means anything to anyone. And it did mean something to my husband. So that is the only one I have to worry about. Right. Okay. This party, um, my old friend flame was back. Um, he had come to one of our parties.

The first party he ever attended was one of my, one, my husband and I had thrown and he had enjoyed himself greatly at that party. And what's funny is because of the fact that his first time at the party was with me, he somehow felt that protective instinct over me. I'm not entirely sure where that comes from. I'm not entirely sure what that stems from with Josh either, but apparently I bring it out in people. So he was, we played and, um, he actually is the one that I started the party with because I was like, I'm not going to sit around all day.

And this doesn't seem like a crowd who's going to really approach me. So I literally just grabbed flame and was like, let's go. So, um, i played with flame and then right after that, I played with this guy named D and D was playing with me at the edge of the bed. And I was starting to feel that thing where everything was becoming pressurized because I didn't have an escape route and I told him to pull out. And when he did, I sprayed him all up his chest and the wall behind him. And his reaction was the first negative reaction I've ever really had. He literally walked away.

It's like, I'll go grab a shower. I'm like, okay. Um, it was the first time I've ever had a negative reaction to squirting. And I apologize for it all the time because it's not really something that, can super control. And if I don't let it out, it starts to really like build up inside me and hurt. So that's why I tell people just give it an escape route. And because of the way that certain positions put me, it seals everything right up. And I need them to pull out so that I can get it out and then I can continue playing. But he literally walked away. It was very awkward. Other highlights.

There was a gentleman that I was playing with and I played with him and literally we were playing and he got super like, and of course I snatched his soul. Later in the evening, he came back and we were playing again. And this time a flame was next to me and I was holding his cock in one hand. And there was another gentleman on the other side of me and I will get to everybody eventually, but this was one of the moments. This was one of the moments when I was like, I don't, what?

Anyway, so he's playing with me and he's, and he's getting really close to the end and he is really like, oh, straining for it. And he literally says, I love you. And then that caused me and several people around me to pause. And then he said it again. Now, I'm not sure if this was in the throw of the moment kind of thing or if he was really professing some sort of affection for me. But literally when he said it the first time, Flame looked at me and said, what did he just say? And then he repeated it and Flame went, oh God.

And I'm trying my hardest not to emote, but I don't have a poker face. I just don't. I, if it doesn't, if it doesn't come out my mouth, it's going to show on my face. And I was a little like weirded out by the whole endeavor. Like what just happened? And I would like to say that that was the weirdest moment of the night, but unfortunately, I can't. Now, I may have mentioned at another party that I went to that there was a gentleman there who liked to romantically rub my face. And at that particular party, he stuck his finger in my mouth.

This party, he did not stick his finger in my mouth, but he was back once again, back to romantically rubbing my face. Um, and what's very funny is he is, um, I'm not entirely sure what country he's from, but there was another gentleman who was also Middle Eastern there. And he did the same thing, romantically rubbed my face. Only this guy didn't stop there. He did not stick his finger in my mouth, which I am grateful for, but he did finger fuck my belly button. And I'm going to say that one more time because what? He finger fucked my belly button. He would grab like rolls of fat on me.

And okay, listen, I'm a big girl. I know I'm a big girl. It's not a big deal. But when you grab my fat and wiggle it just to see how fat I am, that is so jarring and so off-putting that I'm like, what the fuck? I am not a, what the fuck? Stop testing my marbling, dude. And then after he does that, he sticks his fucking finger in my belly button and begins to in and out stroke it to the time of the guy fucking me. What? What the fuck are you doing? So awkward, so weird, and so just, like, I've been literally talking about it for days. I have been talking about it since it happened.

I went to dinner with my friend Scoot, and we talked about it the whole effing time. That in the, there were many things that she and I discussed, but that was one of the ones that Thank you. I talked about it the whole effing time that in the, there were many things that she and I discussed, but that was one of the ones that just threw me, threw me for a fucking loop. And I'm, and what? My husband used to at one time play in my belly button and I told him stop it.

I told him many times to stop and it took him a very long time, but he hasn't done it in a very, very long time because it is not something I enjoy. It actually kind of makes my stomach turn a little bit and then makes my stomach upset because you're playing basically with the umbilical cord area and it's like attached to things inside. And it, when you play in there, it just, it's gross. It's ooky. And there are people of course, who that is their thing. And I am not yucking their yum. I am saying that in, for me, that is not an area that I find even slightly erogenous.

I find that area to be the opposite of erogenous. So to have somebody play in my fucking belly button while I am literally holding two cocks and fucking another one is to me the most astoundingly weird thing. Like I, and what? It just like, and I had no comeback for it. I had no, it took me so off guard that I, the only thing I could do was stare at this guy. Like what is happening right now? So, um, but the night was, it was, it was a lot of fun.

Um, we ended up playing for like three hours and then I had to, I got, um, a combination of my sinus headache came back and because basically I had a gentleman who wanted me to, um, go down on him, but he wanted to lay on the bed and I was also laying on the bed. And so the angle basically put my face down. And when, I don't know if any of you have sinus troubles, but when your sinuses are already sort of, um, sort of at their max capacity, when you put your face down, it just brings all of that pressure to the forefront. And that's into, that's what ended up happening.

All of the pressure came to my face and it started to crazy migraine. And I had to go, go get some food so that I could go take some pills so that he could go sleep. Um, it was a, it was a nasty cycle, but, um, it ended up being the thing that shut me down. But I played, it was funny because, um, the guy Mario Van Peebles, he was back, not the real Mario Van Peebles, just the guy that looked like him. And then, and I actually told him that, um, I called him Mario because he looked like Mario Van Peebles. And he said, thank you. I will take that as a compliment. And I was like, you should.

and he, yeah, he was, he was a lot of fun to play with. And then, um, I played with the captain again and the captain is not a tall man, but there's something about really like, there's something about short dudes. They're like tripods. It's like, what on the, what the fuck are you packing down there? What? And it just, it, it sometimes doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but that's the truth. Um, at least in my, in my limited experience with it. Um, but it was great.

It was, um, it was a fun party and I really wish that, um, I had been able to get rid of the migraine, but I went back on, um, prolact, you know, like proactive medication to keep my allergies at bay to hopefully reduce the number of migraines that I'm going to have here in the future, but it was a super fun time because I got to, we went and had a sit down dinner, just like a silly little chain restaurant.

We went and had a sit down dinner and I got to basically download the entire night with my friend Scoot and talk to her about, you know, how, what she saw, what she, how, how she felt about the whole thing. And my husband also, and kind of, and I felt guilty for rushing them out of there, but at the same time, I'm, I'm not going to stay and suffer. But I did feel bad because apparently there was only one other lady who showed up later that was playing. And the ratios, I'm not kidding you guys. When you throw a party, you got to make sure that your ratios are right.

If you have a hundred people sign up interested or going or whatever, if you have a hundred people sign up and you have two ladies, the sheer volume of men that you're going to have come to this thing is not going to be sustainable with that kind of ratio. And it's not going to make for a fun party, especially considering that, you know, I got to dip out because I'm not, I'm not going to stay somewhere and suffer. Um, I am not that kind of a martyr. So, um, it was a super fun night. It was, I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of, I had a really good time being able to download it with my friend.

And there were, there were tons of guys there and it was standing room only. And my husband couldn't even stay in the room that I was in because it It was first, it was warm. And second, there was a gentleman there who was less than groomed. And I'm not saying that in to be mean or harsh. I'm saying that when you, the scent of you is noticeable from feet away, it is off-putting. It is off-putting to the entire party. And my husband couldn't even stay in the room and actually went and spoke to the party host. And then the party host was like, I don't want to, I don't want to deal with it.

So it puts things, just remember that, and they talk about it straight up front in the rules. They actually talk about the fact that there are showers in the room and they can feel free to use them, especially if they are having some grooming issues because nobody's going to want to be anywhere near them. So it ended up, so my husband was having a rough time with it. My husband was having a very rough time with it and ended up in the other room and wasn't even really able to watch me play very much.

So I had to recap the whole night for him as well at dinner and that actually worked out pretty well. So that was a lot of fun for me and I had a, I really did have a great time. Okay. I'm going to leave some names out because I don't want to necessarily put anyone on blast here, but I do want to share a conversation that I have that I had recently, um, with a listener. Hi, I've recently tried to bring up cuckolding to my partner a couple of times last month and I wasn't, wasn't being pushy. The first time was joking about it and she was going along with it.

Then I left it for a week at late, then left it a week later. She, I asked her if she'd ever be interested in something like that. Then it started an argument and now she's been staying with her, staying at her sister's. Uh, should I try to fix everything or should I try to find someone else who would be into that lifestyle? Now, this is my response. Unfortunately, I don't know if I can answer a question like that because, sorry, I'm going to jump out of that for a second and just put in a disclaimer. I'm not a counselor. I am not a therapist. I am just a lay person. Okay.

So take every bit of advice I have from that angle. I am just a lay person. I am just a person. Um, I do, unfortunately I don't know how to answer a question, that question. It sounds, that sounds like something you have to discover within yourself. That's exactly where consent starts. And it's what you need is consent as to what the best possible outcome is for you. That's where you need to start looking deep inside yourself to find out if she's going to make your life worse by being gone or make your life better with the opportunity to maybe revisit it later.

Then he responded, is the lifestyle you have worth it? Should I make up with someone who doesn't want the same things as me, but is still a great person? Or should I go out and search for what I've been longing for? I would love to be able to answer that for you, but that's a question you have to ask yourself. You have to ask yourself if there's a way to get through to this person that you find super special. You have to ask yourself if this is more important than that. And I can't answer that because my life is enhanced by this lifestyle, not impeded by it.

And then he said, it seems like it would never happen with her. And I said, then you have to go through your priorities and decide what you cherish more. Okay. The lifestyle is not for everyone. It's not for every couple. It's not for every person. And if your whole entire goal is to go out there and find a way to cheat without feeling the guilt, then that's something you need to look at yourself, look inside and say, what kind of person do you need to be with? and what's funny is I had another gentleman who sent me something. All right.

So what's really interesting to me is that I've been getting a lot of messages recently from listeners who want advice about this. And, um, this is something I got from another gentleman and I promised him I would try to get to this one. First and foremost, I recognize you're not a therapist. Sending this as I think it makes for good conversation, especially in the podcast setting. Many years ago, I was a heavy cheater. Unsure what I was seeking, but it was not my finest time in life.

I got caught a few times and my wife eventually became fed up and said, let's just make this relationship open since that's how you've been treating it anyway. She could have left me, but decided to stay for the kid's sake. 2019 to 2021, she played off and on and leveraged Fett at one point. One surprise to me is that she ended up with an ex-boyfriend who she dated in high school. We've been together about 26 years, so that gives you an idea of how long ago that was.

I was not okay with this, because I felt like it would be more than just sex, and there was also some hiding of details during their initial meetups. The rules of the lifestyle were not in play within the dynamic of my wife and I. Nowadays, I get it, rule number one is communication. Fast forward to the present day. More recently, I informed her that I would love to have a hot wife stag dynamic where she shares details, images, videos of her encounters. Now she's back on FetLife linked to my FetLife profile. To me, this is similar to what you and your husband do.

I get turned on by the details. However, she's very uncomfortable with making content to share with me. This has led me down a rabbit hole of feeling like she's hiding details of her encounters, not putting in the effort I would perceive as her trying and me feeling taken advantage of. With my long-term goals of us actually playing together with others, I'm very skeptical that that will ever happen. I know this is not a sprint, but I think I'm losing faith in the trajectory we are currently on. I do play as well. Yes, I do play.

So I'm getting something out of this, but I feel I'm not as playful as my wife. She met someone 24 days ago and they have met up three times and played twice just last night as the last time. My expectation of her going out was I would receive content during the outing. I did make her aware that she verbally agreed. Sadly, I got one picture of her last night. It's a rather tasteful shot of them in action. This morning I went to bed. I went to bed very upset and I didn't get the level of content I would have expected to receive.

I feel like this makes for a good conversation because I can easily view my expectations as unrealistic and also not asking for, and also as not asking for a lot. However, to my wife, I'm sure that this is asking for a lot. I have a play date this Saturday and I've been considering displaying to her the level of content behavior I'm looking for. Question for you. What do you make of all this? Am I going about this in the wrong way? Any thoughts, comments, concerns are all welcome. I can provide clarification as needed as well. All right.

So yeah, thank you for recognizing my role in this as a layperson. Um, the problem with fuzzily defined details, the problem with fuzzily defined parameters in this lifetime, in this lifestyle are that it's impossible for anyone to know what, whether or not they're meeting the criteria. If she sends you some content, it's what you asked for. It's what she agreed to. When my husband and I first started, he too asked for content and it was a barrier that I had to come to. It was a barrier that I had to figure my way over. Okay. Because I'm not a huge fan of filming myself.

I'm not a huge fan of taking pictures of myself. And I'm certainly not a huge fan of putting anyone else in the position where they have to tell me, oh, you look great. It was actually something that my husband did where he sent me a text message and said, these are the shots that I want from you. This is the content that I want from you. This is my expectation of what I will receive from you by the time you return. That was so much easier. It was a checklist. It was, it was something I could follow. It was something I could understand.

It was something that I realized what it was that he wanted and what I could give to him. Because in that moment, this is about getting the content he wanted. And he loves a good shot of me giving a blowjob, loves it. And he loves a good shot of me in the throws. Now, my problem is, is that when I first started playing away from him, I didn't have the same equipment I do now because my podcasting has brought me into a realm where I actually do have a lot of usable space. I have a lot of usable equipment that can work for getting the kind of content that he really truly desires.

But back in the day, I didn't. So there was a lot of POV shots, a lot of me getting fucked while filming my face because that's what I had access to. And then rotating the camera so that I was getting shots of us coming together. And it was very clearly defined between me and my husband, what he wanted, because the first couple of times I got to tell you, I failed. I failed to get the kind of content he was hoping for. And I failed to understand what he was looking for. Now I don't have that problem. I understand because we have clearly defined our roles.

My problem with this scenario is that you have waited a very, very long time to recognize what it is that you are seeking. And again, instead of clearly defining the edges of this, you've kind of left it vague. So I really feel like if you want her to succeed, you need to not set her up for failure. You need to tell her, I want a shot of something like this. I want to see you in this position. I want to see you doing this maneuver. I want to see you doing X. I want a video of the noises that he's making. I want a video of, and it doesn't have to be exactly that.

It doesn't have to be what I'm saying. Okay. It can be whatever you're seeking, whatever's going to make this content reach the level of your expectations. Because I got to tell you, as women, we spend a lot of time trying desperately to live up to expectations, whether it's our own expectations, whether it's our mother's expectations, whether it's our father's expectations, whether, but expectations, okay, the expectations of our children, the expectations of our spouse, we spend a lot of time. And I know that it's probably true for men, but I can't speak from a man's perspective.

I can't speak from that. I can speak from a woman's. And my problem is, is that I hate more than anything being set up for failure. If you have something that you need from me and I don't know you need it from me, I'm probably not going to be able to give it to you. So when you are disappointed that you didn't get the thing that you knew you wanted, that I didn't know you wanted, that to me is being set up for failure. If you want success from this, you have to, you have to go out there and say the things, all of the things you have to say, this is what I want.

And I'm not saying that to be in any way, shape or form, um, an asshole. I'm saying that because you get what you want when you ask for it. And it is the root of communication. If everybody lays their cards on the table and everybody has said their piece, this is what I'm looking for out of this. This is what I want. This is where I eventually want to get to. Then absolutely, 100%, there's no room for error here. Thank you. then absolutely 100% there's no room for error here. She is not set up for failure.

Now, I understand that you are concerned about her boyfriend and her boyfriend from high school. And I completely understand that. Okay. I understand. The thing is, is that sometimes women go for history because it is comfortable and it is easy, but she comes back to you. Now that is not to say that there is not some emotional connection going on there. And that, that is, I can't speak to that. That's something that she needs to speak to. And you probably need to speak to her about speaking to it.

Um, but with this, the fact that she grudgingly opened your marriage because of the lack of trust with you is probably something you guys need to get into because sometimes, and I'm not saying this is the case and I'm not saying this is at all what's happening, but sometimes when somebody has hurt you and somebody has broken your trust, there is the desire to get back at them. Just verify. Verify where she's coming from. Verify what she's looking for, verify that she is in there for the right reasons to maintain a healthy, strong relationship with you.

Because you guys, as you said, 26 years is a very long time to put into a relationship and a very long time to be together. And that being said, that being where you're coming from, you have some things to make up for and some things to, but that doesn't mean that you need to be punished for it. okay. You need to rebuild your trust with her, but that doesn't mean that she has a free pass to break your trust. Okay. So it needs to come back to starting the conversation that will get you both to the point where she's willing to trust you Thank you.

the conversation that will get you both to the point where she's willing to trust you and that you're being open about all the details and trust you to be open about the details of what she's doing. Because I don't know if you guys know this, but there's a lot of, when you're the one playing, there's a lot of anxiety of where the line is and whether you're going to be trapped by something that they didn't know they didn't want you to do. Clearly define the parameters to avoid all of this hurt and mistrust. Clearly define it. And that's the only advice I can really give you on this one.

I apologize for any missed sneezes, coughs, and throat clears on this podcast, this is a terrible week of the year for me. It is usually the start of allergy season. And then you have the time change, which means my sleep patterns are completely off. And as a lifetime insomniac, I am very, very cued in to my sleep patterns and I am very cued in when my sleep patterns are disrupted. So for me right now, I am, I am struggling.

I'm struggling through this because getting up at the same time in the morning that I would normally get up if it was an hour later just basically means my REM cycles are completely off. And my REM cycles being completely off has made it so that my brain can't clear the excess gunk and it can't file things away the way that it needs to. So me missing my REM sleep is creating a lot of emotions. And basically my emotions are getting to the, like they got to a point this week where I could not control them.

And when your emotions are in control and not you, it makes things awkward and uneasy for everyone around you. So I am doing my very level best to get back to even keel because even keel is where I like to maintain because it allows me to be fully informed and fully present in my emotional responses. I don't like being only partially there and only partially consenting to the emotions that I'm having. Um, that being said, um, I really, I really know that my emotional reaction to, okay, so let me kind of break it down. I saw this police procedural show.

Um, it was a fiction and they had a crime that occurred at a swinger party. Now this swinger party was more what I would consider a kink party because at the swinger parties I go to, there's not a lot of rope play. There's not a lot of strangulation play. There's not a lot of autoerotic asphyxiation going on. It's more straight fucking. There's not a lot of people who show up in gimp wear at the parties I go to. Um, there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of just all the things that they were depicting on this show.

And one of the things that they depicted is that this woman didn't actually die of autoerotic asphyxiation. What she died of was GHB. Um, it suppressed her ability to breathe, blah. Now I don't know about you and I don't know about the parties that you're going to, but the parties I'm going to rarely have heavy drug use. Occasionally you'll find somebody who's been smoking some weed but for the most part as far as I'm aware there's not a lot of there's not a lot of drug use.

As a matter of fact if fact, if you drink too much at these parties, they'll ask you to leave because being drunk is a, makes you not legally able to consent. So, um, drinking too much can get you booted. I can only imagine what being in a K-hole or doing GHB would force the host to do because you want to talk about the ultimate non-consent. Anything that puts you into like a coma-like state is the ultimate non-consent. Legally, you can't consent in that state.

And so for me, like, I need to, I'm feeling the need to bring some reality to the thought process of everyone out there who looks at swinger life as some sort of deviant behavior. Most of the time at swinger parties, it's not that deviant I mean the really I mean I'm I'm fucking guys. Most of the time it's straight missionary guys. Occasionally it's doggy style. Rarely is am I on top, but I'm a pillow princess in our natural environment doing things missionary and doing jobs, like working some hand jobs, doing some blow jobs. I am, I am basically a worker bee doing job after job after job.

So this is the reasoning behind what I'm actually trying to do here, because there is no such thing as a swinger party without consent. If you have been to swinger parties without consent, that is not great Um, one of the main things that the community is trying to preach is trying to get through to everyone who participates is consent is not only beautiful, it's abso-fucking-lutely necessary. So for me, the fact that the mainstream media, the mega networks are putting things on their shows to create some shock value, I appreciate what they're trying to do.

And I appreciate the fact that swingers have really come into their own and we have become very popular and we have become a topic of conversation, which is fucking fantastic. But they're still having to skew reality because we're not that weird. They're having to skew the facts to make it a little bit more salacious, a little bit more. And I don't ever want there to be some sort of moral panic around swinging. Because as far as I am concerned, swinging is an outlet for the kind of relationship that gives people room to explore their kinks in a safe, fun, consenting environment.

I don't ever want to have it out there that there's something immoral or deviant really about swinging. Because the one thing I will say about swinging is that it is consent driven, 100% consent driven. You have to have consent through every step of this process. And I don't know if I've said it enough, but I'm sure I've said it at least once. That consent is something that can't be, that you can't mess with in the swinger lifestyle. Okay. You just can't, you can't lower your ability to give consent because consent has to start with from within and be able to be given as we go out.

It starts from within you and then it goes to your partner. And then from there, wherever that may lead. And believe me, my consent has led to some amazing places. And I don't know that I could do it altered. And I don't know that I would necessarily like the fact that people were depicting it in that way. I do not know if there are any drug fueled swinger parties. And if there are, please let me know what they were like, because honestly, I just, I want to be, I want to be the person who soaks up the knowledge so that I can share it accurately.

But I honestly, I mean, I don't know how anyone gives consent in an altered state, especially something like GHB or ketamine. Those things don't allow for your mental faculties to be fully present to give that consent. So please reach out to me. Let me know if you've ever been to a party where they were giving hard drugs or where you were doing, everyone was doing hard drugs. Just let me know because I honestly want to, I want to be able to find out what the mindset behind it is. Because I'm a curious little bee. Thank you for joining me today on the podcast.

I know that I kind of go off the rails a little bit with this one but I am so glad that you are an audience member I am so glad that you are coming to listen and I just want to shout out to all of those people who went to privateadventures.net and said that I sent you, I really appreciate you. I really appreciate you helping small businesses that are trying to promote the kink life. And if there is, if you do stop by, please let them know who I sent you. Use the promo code PineapplePinup10. And I greatly appreciate everybody who has taken a look over there. Thank you.

And as always, you can catch me on all of my socials, which are in the show description. And you can also email me any questions, comments, things you want read out to PineapplePinupPod at gmail.com.