My Normal....

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast, I talk about my Sunday afternoon tryst, the various apps that are out there, and how to find your tribe. As a special treat, I read a little bit of the erotica I wrote. Let me set the scene. We had spent the weekend doing all kinds of vanilla fun. We went to the casino. We went to dinner. We spent time with the dogs. We had been doing a fully chillax weekend. We went to the grocery store, like got our freaking laundry done. These were the kind of activities that we were up to that weekend.

And it was a nice break because the weekend before my husband had spent in the hospital. So for me, it was nice to have a weekend that wasn't overly planned. And that was just sort of like, go with the flow. That being said, I got a text message from Josh saying that he was going to be, he was asking me what I was doing. And I'm like, I'm just chilling. I actually had to go and do some work for like a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon. So I got a text from him right before I was supposed to leave. And so I basically let him know, hey, I have to be gone for a couple of hours.

But why don't if you're going to be hanging around the area, I'll be back by this time. So I got back and he texted me and I'm like, you still in the area? And he's like, yeah, on my way. So he came over. So you have to see how this was flowing. This was flowing so very organically, so very last minute, so very, we've already spent a lot of our energy for the weekend. This was not going to be crazy fuck time. This was going to be something much more um low-key So we ended up going to, so he ended up coming over and we went upstairs.

Now, mind you, I had been dressed all day to do the work that I was going to be doing. And when he showed up, I was still in the clothes that I was going to do. And I looked adorable. I looked literally like a pinup girl, hair in a ponytail, a halter dress with, that was bright red with white hearts on it. It was adorable. Um, and so all day long, I looked super cute. So he came over and we went upstairs and We'll be right back. on it. It was adorable. Um, and so all day long I looked super cute.

So he came over and we went upstairs and it was, my routine is kind of, of blowing them used to be like on my knees, but there's something that Josh has started doing where he lays down on the bed and then I crawl up on the bed and I give him a blowjob from that angle. And I really work to get his cock all the way into my throat. Even though I haven't done it yet, I'm still working on it. I'm still trying and striving. And so I spent a great deal of time really slobbering on that knob, really looking to get that man meat all the way down my throat. And let's cut to the chase.

I wasn't super successful, but it was high time for him to get started. And I looked around and I had no condoms next to my bed. So I had to get up from my bed and go into the closet and find my gross of condoms that I had bought from privateadventures.net. And if you go over there, please use my code pineapple pin up 10 to let them10 to let them know that I sent you. So I went in and I got my gross of condoms and I brought those out. And because of the fact that I am old, kink in your fifties is different, man. It's different. Oh my goodness.

I had to put on my glasses to read the packages to find out which ones were the ones that weren't going to strangle his massive dick. Because there's nothing worse than putting on a condom that's too tight and having all of the blood flow, all of the work that you've just done, wilt and wither away. So I had on my glasses, he found a condom that was going to work. And then things had started to deflate on his end. So I crawled back on the bed. Only this time I was wearing my glasses, my hair in a ponytail. And I was sucking his dick.

And I looked up at him and I said this must be what it's like to get a blowjob from a librarian and he said yeah it's super sexy and he wasn't being sarcastic anyway so he so I'm giving him so I'm getting him back we're getting ready he gets the condom on and he looks at me he says how do you want it saying that to me is like setting me loose Let's see. I'm giving him, so I'm getting him back. We're getting ready. He gets the condom on and he looks at me and he says, how do you want it? Saying that to me is like setting me loose in a candy store and saying, what do you want?

And I looked at him and said, I don't have a lot of energy, so let's just do it regular. And I laid down on my back and I grabbed my wand. Now for any of you who don't haven't watched sex in the city, the Hitachi magic wand is a back rub, um, is a back massager. It is long about, it's about 12 inches long, maybe 14. And it has a bulbous head on it. And then it has buttons on the front and the buttons turn it on, change the level of vibration, or you can do a patterned vibration. There are two different buttons that you can choose from as far as like the vibration.

And the Hitachi magic wand is notorious for being the best fucking vibrator any woman has ever used. I have owned in my lifetime a minimum of five of these when they burn out, when they break, when they break, I go and get myself another one. And when I feel like it's starting to go, I get myself another one. And then I have two, which my husband then leaves one of them at a party. That's a story for another time.

Anyway, so he so I I have my Hitachi wand and I have him and we're going straight missionary and it is great and then I had I asked him to kind of sit up for me so that I can use my wand because we're not going to be expending a lot of energy. We are going to try to get to the finish line just naturally. And because I like the finish line so much, I like to do laps around the finish line. I like to do multiple finishes at the finish line. I used my wand because, I mean, hello. I know exactly the route I'm trying to take to get to that finish line.

And I know that I'm going to have a much, I'm going to have many, many more orgasms if I do it with my wand. You've got a huge cock inside and a wand on the, and it just makes it all dreamy. I used my wand, and it worked exactly as prescribed. It worked exactly as prescribed. It was brilliant. It was beautiful. We fucked, and it was awesome. and we kind of both finished up and he sat up and he goes and he kind of giggles and he tells me I think it's funny that we're doing it just regular but but we're using toys. And that stunned me for a second because for me, regular is using toys.

Regular is we're going to get in, get, because obviously being a woman with a to-do list, there are times when I'm just like, we need to get this done so that we can go to sleep. We need to get this done so that we can go feed the dogs or go do whatever it is we have to do. So I use my wand to make sure that everything happens that's supposed to happen because, I mean, it's like Chinese food. Nobody, everybody gets a cookie before the meal ends. It just, that's it. Everybody gets their cookie. And for me, I know what, I know what that wand can do. I know what that wand is.

I know what that wand represents. And my husband has absolutely, like, my husband's always the one like, where's your wand? So for me, that's completely fucking normal. But it turns out that maybe that's not. Maybe it's not normal and maybe it should be. Maybe we should be normalizing the use of lube without making a woman feel like she's a dried up old spinster. Maybe because scientifically they have proven that women orgasm better with lube, okay?

In my particular case, that's a dangerous, very slippery slope because of the fact that I produce so much liquid, it tends to turn into a slip and slide with Dawn on it. But normalizing things like using lube and normalizing things like using a wand, normalizing things like using a cock ring if you want to, normalizing things that enhance your sex, just on a baseline, should be our goal, our key. Because it says nothing about the person that you're with if you're using a wand. If you need exterior clitoral stimulation to get to the finish line, to get your cookie, fucking grab a wand.

It's got nothing to do with your partner's inability to get you there it's not that but we're trying for maximum efficiency we're trying for maximum pleasure because if we're we're spending this time for this pursuit why not make it effervescently perfect? Like, why not make it pleasure? No matter what form that comes in, we need to normalize the use of toys in our sexual encounters. Because there is nothing better for a woman than interior and exterior stimulation because we're not built like men. We're different from men.

We have so many sex parts outside of our body versus where penetration happens okay it is without a doubt, the most brilliant thing to introduce your sex life to a little bit of vibration. The thing is, is that there's a lot of, there are a lot of women who need you to go down on them before you fuck them, because that's the only thing that's going to wake their clit up enough to come to the party. So it's a personal journey, obviously, but I think that we need to talk more about normalizing it, making toys a part of every sexual activity, every sexual encounter, because it's good.

Anything that's going to bring the pleasure game higher, let's go there. Let's figure that shit out. Anyway, that's just my thoughts on that one. Recently, I had somebody ask me how, where my wasteland is. My wasteland is actually in the continental United States in the state of Virginia. And I know that many, many of you are actually struggling with the wasteland of your own. Uh, the one thing I have recently noticed is that there is an uptick of people in my area who are starting to show, show themselves, um, come out of the woodwork as it were.

And I think that's kind of what you have to do. You have to pay attention and you have to go find your tribe where they are. Okay. So that means you've got to search the apps, whichever app is working best for your area. That's what I recommend. Don't, don't go on just one. If you're finding nothing, I had somebody mentioned to me that he had looked on FET and it was a bunch of fakes and posers in his area. And that is something that is always a possibility. Okay. But not everybody on there is probably going to be a fake and opposer. Okay.

The thing is, is that the, the approach that you take can jar people, can take people and move them out of the situation. So if you want to meet people who are in the life, sometimes you got to go real vanilla to do it. Sometimes you got to show up at a munch. Sometimes you got to show up at a dinner. Sometimes you got to show up at a meet and greet. I myself met Josh at a open mic night. Literally, he knew I had mentioned that I was going to this open mic night near his house. It was like five minutes from him.

It was really funny because he walked in the door, honed in on me, walked straight over and sat down next to me. And it was too loud for him to talk to me. And I was literally like, hi. And then I knew that he was trying to talk to me the whole time, but we had to take off because we can't do weeknight things too terribly late because we actually have this whole thing we have to do called getting up in the morning to go to work. And we have dogs we have to take care of. So we were taking off and I told him, come on. And he followed me outside.

And we talked for a minute and we exchanged numbers. And I said, let's chat more. And now he comes to my house probably once a week, if not more to fuck me. There are times that you are going to have to find patience to find the right fit. And And I know that FetLife isn't for everybody. FetLife is not for everybody. That's why there are so freaking many apps out there. Field, Cassidy, there's Fet the dating app, which is, I don't think they're affiliated, but it's a fetish dating app. And there's so many different ways to locate the people you're trying to find.

There's a website called Swinger Social that you can get on. And they throw, that one has hotel takeover parties. A lot of these things you're going to see in a lot of different areas. And the reason why you're going to see these things in a lot of different areas is because they're going to where they're going to find the tribe. That's just how it goes. That just is how it happens. So don't give up hope. Look around, do some research, find out what works in your area because people around you are probably really fucking kinky.

And I don't know if it's just me finding out, finding that out because I'm so open and vocal about my own that people feel safe sharing theirs with me. I don't know. But living out loud has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever given myself. The ability to say, this is who I am, this is what I do. This is, and the fact that my husband is right there with me, because I'll be frank with you. The only opinion that I really care about is my husband's. I don't want to do anything that's going to cause him distress. So I am allowed to live my life with that loudspeaker. Okay.

The loudspeaker that says stay within the parameters of not causing my husband any distress, which, you know, basically means keep it from blood relatives and other than that we're fine because again his opinion is the only one that matters to me I don't really care if somebody judges me for who I am for the lifestyle that I lead I don't really care. I'm not running for office. I'm not out there. I'm not out there to do anything that's, that's anyone's judgment is going to be able to prevent me from doing. Okay. I love the fact that I can live this life.

and I know that that's not true for everyone. I know that it's not true for people who have very sensitive jobs and blah. I know that. Okay. But why? Why not? why not find a place where you can be vocal about who you really are and what you really want? Finding that safe space to do that should be allowed for everyone. I don't have any listener questions today so today I thought I'd do a reading of something that I wrote a long time ago um well not a long time ago This one was probably, this is probably a couple years old. It's called The Telltale Trail. It was my office chair.

It always ratted me out. No matter what I wore or how many times I tried to keep myself under control, there was always a wet streak on my chair. My dripping pussy always told the tale on that stupid lie detector of a chair. Every time I played prim with my boss, telling him that I wasn't hot for him and his constant dirty talk didn't turn me on, my chair would tell the truth. He would linger by my desk after hearing my denial just so he could laugh knowingly when I stood up. The humiliation at being caught in a lie was even more of a turn on.

Sometimes I would leave my desk to go finger my drippy snatch in the bathroom because he was such a jerk about how funny it was that my face cunt could tell such huge lies, but my regular cunt always told the truth. He had started teasing me because I had a wardrobe malfunction. My shirt button popped off, leaving my cleavage exposed. My bra, struggling to contain my large breasts, was pushing the unrestrained fabric so wide that it looked like bald men were having a cage fight in my blouse. From that time on, he would make comments about what a tease I was.

He would ask if my other clothes had to work so hard to stay on. Or he would say that I didn't need to ruin my clothes to get his attention. He was fine with unbuttoning them himself. He would comment on the size of my breasts and the width of my ass because it was plain to see that I needed both or I would topple over from being top heavy. He would comment on all that jiggle and shake I was hiding in fabric and how much he would love to see it set free. My boss's name was Ryan Wiley and and for a long time it was just teasing and dirty innuendo. But then, this time, it wasn't.

I remember the way he slid onto my desk in the same usual way, casual and entitled. He sat there drumming his fingers under the edge of my desktop. You know, I've been making a lot of jokes, but every joke has a kernel of truth in it. For example, I think you're a slut, and you really were trying to tease me. You get hot when I play with you, and I think it's time that you get over yourself and start being my little office secret. I'm married, I said. Then you better tell him you're going to be working a lot of overtime on your knees. Ryan stood up and headed back to his office.

That night, I went home to tell my husband I was going to have to find a new job. I know that it's a bad time to be looking for a job, but my boss is making it difficult for me to stay there, I explained. What is he doing? My husband asked. He wants me to start servicing him sexually, I told him blushing. How do you know? He told me today. He's been verbally harassing me for a while. Really? And you think he wants more now? Yes. He told me today that he was going to have to start working overtime, that I was going to have to start working overtime on my knees. He said that? Yes.

That's fucking hot. My husband said, taking me by surprise. Do you want to suck his dick? Um, be honest. I've thought about it, but I stopped before doing anything because I am your wife. Well, as you said, it's a terrible time to be looking for a job. I think you need to do as he wants. If you give it to him, maybe he'll get bored and leave you alone. Are you serious? Yes, I think it is important that you do this. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Make sure you get photos and videos in case he starts messing with you.

Well, we will have proof and you can send them to me and I can store them in a safe place. Um, okay. Are you're on board with me fucking my boss? You think he'll go that far? The eagerness oozed off of him in palpable waves. Yes, I think he is going to make me his little office slut. Well, that's good. More proof. And you are all right with this. I'm fine with it. As long as there's video and photos. The next day I showed up at the office and the door to Ryan's office was open. I went to the door and gently knocked. Ryan looked up from his computer and smiled broadly.

Are you ready to work that overtime? Do I have a choice? Of course. You can always leave, Ryan smirked. Fine, then I'm ready. Get in here and lock the door. Take that shirt off and let me see them jugs. Let me put down my purse, I said, gesturing toward my desk. I walked over and pulled out my phone, putting it on video record. I headed back into the office. I took my shirt off, closed the door, and sat, and when I set my shirt on the chair, I angled the phone so it would capture as much as possible. I removed my bra, letting my huge tits swing free as I turned back to him.

Oh yes, my little whore, he said, pulling out his hardening cocked. Get over here and do your job. That's your new position, executive cock assistant. I wandered close and he pointed to the floor and I knelt before him. He raised his arms and waited for me to assist. I unbuckled his pants and grasped as his huge cock swung free. He grinned and grabbed my head, forcing me to take that cock into my mouth. I don't remember much of the first time. He liked to push his cock so deep that he couldn't breathe and sort of had the room blackened at the edges.

It took some time for me to get used to his girth and length. Luckily, he let me practice three, four times a day. Every time I sent the videos to my husband, he would send me back a thumbs up emoji.

But that first time when I came home, my husband grabbed me as I walked in the door and pinned me against the wall and fucked me hard while he licked every corner of my mouth such a good little slut he grunted while he pounded my pussy his hand around my throat made me think of that darkened edges of the room from sucking Ryan's cock is he big his cock yes his cock is huge and he chokes me with that big dick oh yeah I saw you passing out on out on that knob. You like that black fuzzy place, don't you, slut?

My husband was squeezing my throat and I was fading and coming and coming to and feeling and fading and coming at his will. He spurted his come into my abused pussy as I faded out again. As I came back, he was holding me tight to his chest and breathing hard. You did good today. It was like that for a while, but last night my husband said I have to figure out a way to get Ryan to fuck me. I guess I need to get better at my job. thank you just so much for joining me today on the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. I really hope that you enjoyed today's episode.

If you want to support the podcast, you can like, share, subscribe. You can also reach out to and do some shopping on privateadventures.net. I'm using the promo code pineapple pinup 10 to let them know that I sent you. Thank you so much. If you have any questions, if you have any comments, if you'd like to share something with the audience, please don't hesitate to hit me up pineapple pinup pod at gmail.com. Or you can reach me at any of my socials on which are listed in the description of the show. I'll see you next time.