My first shot at sex party planning

Transcript

Welcome to the pineapple pinup, the hot wife life. I know so exciting, two episodes in the same week. On today's episode, I'm going to talk about the pineapple pinup throws a party. I had a party. It was an actual event that we put up on our page and put in the events tab invited people had a there was a charge for coming it was Thank you. had a, there was a charge for coming. It was very, very last minute.

That's not the way I like to do things, but I was, um, partnered up with someone that I'm not entirely sure that I would ever partner up again with my personality does not lend itself to last minute function planning and my husband's relationship with me doesn't necessarily bode itself well to partially thought out ideas because he has whole conversations in his head with me about how he thinks something is going to go and what steps we're going to be taking to get to that point. And if I have enough time, I can get all of those details from his brain out his mouth.

But when I rush something and do something that should be a couple of weeks in planning in two days, it is a very high anxiety thing for me. Not necessarily for anyone else. Everyone else has a great time, but my Capricorn crazy doesn't really like that kind of short notice. I like to have a fully formed plan. I like to know exactly what we're trying to accomplish and give ourselves time to actually accomplish it. Call me crazy. But anyway, so I partnered up with a woman that is, she is ditzy. I mean, love her, but she's ditzy. She has these ideas. She wants to run with them immediately.

She doesn't have a fully formed plan and she just sort of throws everything at you, at the other person that she's partnered with, in this case, me. She throws everything at me and says, hey, can you get this done? And then my husband's looking at me going, there's no reason why we can't. And I'm looking at him going, this is not how I like to do things. But because of the fact that I am deep in my soul of people pleaser, I run around and do the things that have to be done.

In this particular instance, we had two days, we had a flyer, we had all the information on the flyer and I'm trying to get things done in a proper way. We finally get there. We finally get to the point where we have all of our ducks in a row. I have the way to exchange cash for the information as to where we are. I have ways to make sure that everybody's on the same page. This is the saving grace, 100% the saving grace. If it had not happened this way, I would have freaked out and probably never set up another party, but she rented the hotel room.

And that is a very important detail for what's coming. So she rented the hotel room and it was the perfect hotel room for what we were doing because we didn't have a lot of female participation as far as playing goes, which isn't really a problem because I play and she plays. And so there were, there was some variety there. Um, we did not have a whole lot of men show up, which was great. But at the, like, I think the party ended up being like 11 or 12 people all told. And it was kind of actually really perfect. Everybody came in stages.

It was a little bit less party atmosphere and more like a doctor's waiting room. But it ended up being just sort of like everybody had a great time. We were able to dedicate time to each individual person as they came in. Nobody got slighted. It was a really, really great party. I take that back. It was a good party. It was a fine party. It accomplished what it was supposed to do party. The details of the party were interesting. We had various and sundries arrive through the night and we had a great time. We met a lot of really cool people.

And I tell you that I'm in a wasteland and this is why I know that I am in a wasteland. There are plenty of people in my area that message me, but very rarely do I see these people out in events. Very rarely do I see these people actually attending things. So my problem with the wasteland is that it showed itself as being a wasteland for this party because of the 12 people that we had come to the party, the girl that does not play, and possibly one other one would be what would be considered in my zone. Those were the only two people that showed up in my zone.

Everyone else came from either the lower zone or the upper zone. And it was great. But it's not what I'm trying to foster. I'm trying to, well, that's not true. I am trying to foster a little bit more interaction between the upper zone and the lower zone because the upper zone has a lot of really, really fun activities. And the lower zone has a lot more lifestyle adjacent parties. Um, they're more into the kinks and less into the actual play parties. Very rarely will you go to a party in the lower zone where sex is encouraged. Most of the time it's, you got to wear clothes.

It's very, at least all the ones I have found. There was one down there that was definitely not that it was definitely a play party, but it was outdoors and it was mayhem and not my scene. And I think I've told you about that. So they do have them down there, but they are, you have to sort through a lot of non-playing functions to find the ones that actually are play parties.

So my husband and I are kind of dedicated to the fact that we are going to bring kink to our zone we are going to find a way to get people to come locally and from the outskirts so that we can all kind of figure out how to make the zone less of a wasteland so back to the party so the party I had Thank you. make the zone less of a wasteland. So back to the party. So the party, I had a lot of interest. A lot of people weren't able to show up because it was such short notice.

But we really showed that there was interest in this area to do things that were more active, more intimate, more play-oriented. Then we threw the party and everything was going great. And then the lady that I had teamed up with, she had a friend, a friend, she's from the lower zone actually. So she had a friend that she had invited up and he came and she was very impressed by the amount of cock that he carried around with him on a normal every day. And let's just say he's not a chicken farmer, but that's a lot of cock. He was a very well-endowed man.

And this is where, and I believe I've talked about this before, this is where drinking and partying don't really mix. He was a little drunk and didn't really, and very arrogant because he is not a chicken farmer, but has a lot of cock. So he's arrogant and doesn't really feel like rules of consent necessarily apply to him. He's touching people. He's basically trying to initiate something without ever stopping to say, Hey, is this cool? Now, I don't know if that was the drink or the arrogance, but it didn't sit well with me.

But because of the fact that he is well-endowed, the lady that I was with was like, oh, it's so awesome. And then she started doing things to impress him, doing things to show that she was down for whatever he said he wanted and she was going to give it to him no matter what her best interests were. This included having sex in a public elevator, having sex in a public hallway, in a hotel room filled with families and children. And this is why I was grateful she did not, that she rented the room and not me.

Because the last thing I need attached to my name was the conduct of someone so focused on people-pleasing and being outrageous that she couldn't see the downfalls for not only herself, but everyone involved. If they had looked at the cameras, she could have been, they could have called the cops. And if the cops came, there could have been a lot of repercussions for everyone that attended a party, which is not at all what the lifestyle is trying to do. The lifestyle is about giving you a safe space to explore your kink with your community.

it was beyond beyond asinine now mind you I I did fuck him once at the party it was when he came around for a second turn and I was looking at him like, um, excuse me, just because I, you're, this is a good rule to remember. Just because you're given permission once does not mean that consent is implied forever. Every single time you approach, new consent is required. It just is because you don't know what has changed in the last hour or two hours since you last played with that person. Consent is so sexy. Consent is so lovely.

I'm not entirely sure why you're not trying to get people to say yes to you all night long. Just ask. And then when they say, oh yeah, yeah. Oh, please. Yes. Doesn't that feel better than, why exactly are you touching me? What's happening here? Confusion is less sexy than consent. I just got to tell you. So gather your consent, boys. Gather it. And women too. Sorry. Didn't mean to. And everybody, everybody gather consent. Anyway, I digress. So the party, if I had had my druthers, would have been planned a week or two in advance. It would have been advertised definitely a week in advance.

It would have been something where people could plan to be there. That's why I like them two weeks in advance because you may have plans for this coming weekend, but two weeks you might be able to alter your plans. You might be able to give enough reason behind why I'd rather go over here than here. Two weeks in advance. That's my goal. A theme, a theme. I love a theme. I think a theme brings everybody, those that want to feel like they're involved in the full event of it will get on board with your theme.

And it gives them something to plan for, prepare for, and makes them part of the party before they even get there. I love that. I love how the thinking about it before the outfit, the theme, like all of it, how you're going to participate in it. All of that is very, very sexy. It's anticipation. And I love that. Another thing, um, knowing where we're going to be going and how people are going to get information about the party is very, very important. Knowing who's collecting the funds, how it's being collected.

And the problem that a lot of people have is that they say, oh, I'm going to pay at the door. And then they think that they're just going to get in and nobody's going to notice that they didn't pay at the door. My husband is very conscientious. And he knows that this was an expensive endeavor for the lady we were partnered up with. So every single person paying was important. We ended up doing just that. We ended up. He ended up turning away several people that came because they didn't think that the monetary contribution applied to them.

And it wasn't like we were asking for thousands of dollars. It was a very cheap party in comparison to all the other parties that were out there. So that's part of it. Your expectations about what you're going to do and how we're going to do it, it needs to be set up and it needs to be very, very clear. And I don't think any of the rules were clear. I don't think any of the, any of anything was clear because it was slapped together like, it was just slapped together like decoupage. But the party was fun. I'll give you that.

So a lot of my issues with the party were the fact that she had broken I'll see you next time. So a lot of my issues with the party were the fact that she had broken actual laws and put everybody in danger with that. The fact is, is that you're part of a community and unfortunately that means we got to protect each other. We got to be on everybody's team. You are allowed to live your life as out loud as you want to live it, but know that when you are in public spaces with an entire group of your community, that sometimes living your truth to as out loud as you want to be We'll be right back.

group of your community. That sometimes living your truth to as out loud as you want to be can actually have adverse effects for those around you. I had somebody write in and tell me about a time that he had gone to a party and they were told in advance that it needed to be street wear up into the party and then from there, whatever. But it had to be street wear so that because there was going to be a lot of press around, there was going to be other events happening in that hotel that may not mesh with this lifestyle.

And party goers would go down and smoke and right across the street is a line of press. and one man is wearing his Winnie the Pooh backpack and his middle school girl clothes. one guy is wearing will spank for pussy um There's a lot of leather and bustiers. And the press is standing right across the street. Now, I am not ever yucking someone's yum. ever. But when you know that there is something that is going to put the ability for the community to gather in a spotlight, because while we're not vampires, we're also not, not everybody can live their life on the front page of the newspaper.

Some people actually need privacy to keep it from their friends and their family and their worker and their coworkers and their bosses. Some people actually have jobs that require them not to put their face everywhere, not to put their kinks everywhere. So when you're part of a community and you want to live your life authentic, I'm not trying to stop that. I want that for you. But I also want you to take into consideration that some people aren't granted the same privilege as you. Some people aren't granted a get out of jail free card because they were found fucking in the elevator.

Some people aren't granted a press pass because they're wearing kink wear on the street. This is not a shaming situation. This is literally make sure that your actions are protecting not only yourself, but also your community at large. There's plenty of places where you can be authentically yourself that aren't attached to everyone else who is attending or participating. Live your truth, but keep your community in mind.

Keep your fellow lifestylers, kinksters, slaves and masters, whatever it is, keep them in mind when you do whatever it is that you're trying to do to seem edgy and to be out loud. We need to think about our community a little bit more than we think about ourselves. Okay, so I have a question today from the harp. So the question today is I'll see you next time. from the harp. So the question today is, do you have some, some special scenarios you and your husband plan to do? I know from reading further that he's talking about fantasy concepts, role-playing situations.

When my husband and I first started, we actually tried to make a date with a gentleman who wanted my husband to put a collar on me with a leash and then have my husband walk me into the room and hand over the leash to this gentleman. And then my husband goes sit in the corner and wait for whatever it was that was going to happen. And then of course the scenario is built from there, but the initial scenario was this handing over his property situation, which was very exciting to both of us.

He has fantasies of being in the closet, watching through the door, filming through the door and there's a, there's a little bit of a line when it comes to what's the difference between voyeurism and stalking. Um,ent is so very important that doing something where he's hiding in the closet and the gentleman doesn't know that he's there, that gets a little tricky with consent. Some of these role plays have to be Okay, so this is the grab bag of fantasies that we want to pursue. Are you opposed to any of them before we get started?

And then you can set up these surprise moments after they've consented to the concepts. Because even though they have it in their head that this might be the time that this thing happens. So we are, you're walking a tightrope, but you have garnered consent for the concept of the thing that you're trying to get done, but not giving them the time or place when it's going to happen. And again, consent is something you need to get every single time and blah.

But sometimes those kinds of scenarios can be set up in that fashion that kind of gives you that blanket consent because you're not, they're agreeing to come over. They're agreeing to, you know, they're agreeing to whatever, and they know that something like this could be possible. So they know that they're agreeing to come over could lead to something in this vein. That's all very roundabout to kind of prove two points at the same time. That role play, sometimes you need that element of surprise within role play, but consent means you got to have consent.

So it's a fine tightrope to walk, but you've got to make sure that everybody's on board. Um, especially if you have somebody that is, you're trusting to come into your role play situations, they need to be aware of what they're agreeing to. They just, they just do. Um, it might be a conversation you have when you're first getting started and saying, Hey, how do you feel about these particular role plays? Spell them all out and then give them the opportunity to contract it. Say this line item is not okay. This line item is not okay. This is a hard limit. This is a soft limit.

This is, I'm going to need to know in advance if this is what we're doing. That gives you the opportunity to at least have a chance to fulfill these role plays in a way that's moralistically probable, possible. Anyway, so I don't know if I'm answering the question per se, but, um, I'm leading into a PSA on my question, which is not what I'm trying to do. Um, my husband is not huge into role play, but there are scenarios where I'm tied to a bed and he tells me to put on a blindfold and then has somebody come in and service me. And I don't know if it's my husband or someone else.

And I don't know if it's my husband using toys. I don't know what's going on. And that's a scenario that we've actually run several times in our heads, but never actually gotten to the point where we've done it. There's so many things like that, that are my husband watching me pick somebody up in a bar. My husband, you know, those kinds of things, they're all out there and everybody knows them and everybody, but I think our kinks, our role plays tend to run, not to anything super spectacularly strange, but, um, that handing over the property thing, hot.

I don't know what it is about that, but it's hot. And I like it. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Pineapple Pinup Hot Wife Life podcast. If you have any questions, requests, suggestions, or just want to say hi, you can reach out to me at pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. That's pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. I hope you have a wonderful day.