My Birthday planning

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's episode, I'm going to talk about how I'd like to celebrate my own birthday. I got incredibly spoiled on my last birthday and it was great because the whole thing was a destination. We went to Las Vegas for my birthday and we visited some of our old haunts because we were originally West Coast kids and we did a lot of gambling. My husband set up spa treatments for me. I was spoiled rotten and it was amazing.

But before we left, we were having some issues with our plane and my husband set up a one-on-one greet, uh, birthday celebration with my friend Jay, which was amazing. We met in a hotel room, um, near where, um, Jay lives near the airport. And we, he fucked me six ways to Sunday. It was amazing. It was fantastic. It was a water slide. It was all the things. And then we ended up flying out and flying back and we ended up missing a lot of our trip because of the fact that we were having a lot of issues with the airlines.

We were originally supposed to be in Vegas like five and a half days and we ended up being there just under four, I think. So a lot of the activities that we had planned that were lifestyle activities really didn't have a chance to come to fruition. So my next birthday, I would really like to do something very similar to that, something destination-y, but something a little bit more lifestyle, a little bit more lifestyle involved. Uh, maybe, um, a swingers resort or possibly a swingers cruise. Um, my birthday is a little rough for cruises because my birthday's in January.

So it's a little chilly. And especially considering that I probably would want to go north. And I don't even know if they have swinger cruises that go north, like to Alaska or Canada. Um, but it's something I'm probably going to look into my idea of the perfect birthday would be my husband and I away from our normal life away from our normal activity, doing things that are solely focused on hedonistic pleasures, Eating great food, drinking great drinks, having fantastic sex. What's not to love? I mean, seriously, does that not seem like the ideal birthday for anyone?

Now, this coming year is kind of a milestone year. And while I am not looking forward to turning the clock on this one, I am excited for the opportunities that my birthday is going to bring me this year. I'm excited for the opportunities to explore even more of my sexuality and even more of our dynamic within our community. And I really want to go someplace where we can have fun and have a lot of fun and have a trip to remember. And I would really, really like to do this sooner rather than later. So it's something that I'm probably going to do a lot of research on.

And don't worry, I'll clue you in as to who's doing what and where they're doing it too, because I really think that part of being in the lifestyle is having opportunities to explore it without the fear of discovery. Um, so many of us have to live a life that where we're worried about what people are seeing in our community and what people are seeing in our family. And you know, it's, it's one of those things where there are eyes constantly on you and getting on going to a place where you're insulated and it's you and your community and that's it.

You and the lifestyle would be, I think, really freeing for a lot of people, especially myself and my husband. Even though we're not really keeping a great lid on the lifestyle, so many people know about the lifestyle because that I'm in, like in my world, so many people know about the lifestyle because of the fact that I do this podcast. So it's not, it's not like I'm out there keeping secrets, but having a place where you can truly just immerse yourself in the lifestyle and not worry about what if so-and-so finds out or blah, would be such a relief, I think, such a freedom.

And that is why I am going to really look into these getaways, these places that we could go and see what's out there. And of course, share it with you because what's the point of doing research if you can't talk about it on your podcast, right? So that would be kind of my idea of a really great birthday would be isolated in a place where we could be free to be whomever we want to be and not have to worry about anything else. So I'm seriously considering finding a cruise or finding a resort that we can go to. And of course, traveling means passports.

I don't know about you, but passports are the bane of my existence. We've been through this a couple of times where it's very difficult to get your passport unless you have to go somewhere. So I do have a tip for you when you're getting your passport. So if you apply for your passport two weeks before you have to travel, they'll do their best to rush it for you and get that to you. Um, it's really, really important, uh, when you're trying. for you and get that to you.

Um, it's really, really important, uh, when you're trying to get your travel plans laid out to know if you're going to be able to do the traveling. Um, but I do know that if you're two weeks away from your desk, from your departure, they do a very good job of rushing it. And that might just be my personal experience, but it's happened twice for me now. Traveling in the lifestyle is something that I would love to hear more about. So if you have any stories about secrets or hedonism or the bliss cruise or anything like that, let me know. I would love to hear about it.

Good and bad, because here's the thing, whether you're in the lifestyle or you're out of the lifestyle, it's all still life, right? And life has its ups and downs, just like everything. The lifestyle has its ups and downs. So I'd love to hear every, every kind of story. Just let me know. You can hit me up at pineapple pinup pod at gmail.com. So I've been emailing with the listener. We'll call him a, uh, for a little while now. And he reached out to me because he just wanted to comment about how much he liked the show. And I thank you so much for doing that. I really appreciate it.

I can't tell you how nice it is to hear that considering that I'm alone in my basement doing this into the void. So I really appreciate hearing from you. Um, so anyway, he had written me that he really loved the latest cleanup story at the end of my last, at the end of my episode that I did. And he was commenting that he and his wife are in a similar stag vixen situation. She has had really just one other partner, his, uh, his friend that he's had for like 15 years and they have been, and he's been their bull for a very long time.

And how he actually got that started was he had basically been having a conversation about blow jobs and then kind of got them to flirt with one another and then kind of convinced her to give him a blowjob and then she did and then it was off to the races. Obviously, we all lead busy, busy lives and he can't be there for every single escapade that goes on, but she loves to send him risque photos and videos and stuff like that to include him in the play. And I think that's really important. I think that when you're in the lifestyle, it has to be conscious, including your stag, including him.

If he can't be there present, if he can't be present with you, include him in some way, send him dirty photos, send him dirty texts, tell him this is what happened. Um, reliving the whole thing, um, can be really hot. I know personally that my husband checks out all my photos, looks, replays all of my videos. He does this constantly.

It's because he really, truly enjoys reliving those moments, reliving those moments where he felt that stag feeling, that feeling that's a little bit of mixture of jealousy, a little bit of mixture of like a lot of desire and a lot of pride, um, that his vixen is giving this man so much pleasure and he's giving his vixen so much pleasure it's a very weird um mixture of emotions that kind of go through a stag's head and i know that I am really not the right person to describe it, but you kind of can start to understand what it is that they're getting from it.

They're getting that adrenaline rush of jealousy. They're getting that visceral desire that seeing people having sex will do and having that moment where he can feel what that bull is feeling in that moment, because he's been there and he's felt that and knowing the kind of pleasure that his vixen is receiving because she tells him, she gives him those same verbal, emotional, desirous cues that he's known her to give for years. Um, I love the fact that this couple has found a bull.

He is actually looking to explore variation, but he's not sure how to approach that with her because she just, she's kind of a one bowl girl. Um, which I'm going to get into in my next segment. So today's question, I actually have two from CC, but I'm going to split them up. So I'm going to call her Cece. My husband and I are new to the lifestyle and trying to find our place. So a little background, he's expressed a desire to see me have sex with another man as a stag dynamic. We have come to find out this is more common than neither of us knew.

We are both listening to a few podcasts and trying to learn more before pursuing it. We also both visited two clubs. One was okay and the other we did not care for. We didn't participate with the others, though at one club we did occupy a space to ourselves and enjoy the experience. On a side note, search for your anniversary location. I've heard great things about secrets in Orlando. I don't have any personal experience there. My first question is in regards to wrapping my head around the idea as I have zero interest in having sex with another man.

I slept around plenty in my younger days and I love having a satisfying monogamous marriage. I'm trying to be open to the idea and we've had a lot of conversations about it, but I have not said yes or no yet. Our sex life is great. And I don't know if I was a firm no, if he would be okay with it and we would move on, but he would really like for me to do it. Any on any advice on how to get past the hurdle of not wanting to have sex with another man in order to please him. I just don't share the fantasy. So I have many reservations about it. Okay.

I'm a big advocate of the lifestyle being right for everyone. If it isn't your thing, you can't force the issue. It can cause resentment, regret, or worse. Um, that being said, if you're on the fence about it, there are a couple of different ways that I actually suggested to try. You can experiment with faux, um, toy play, like I did with in that episode with, um, Eric, uh, the toys, um, try having sex with a blindfold, giving you the illusion that it might be somebody other than your husband might spark some, some possibility there.

Um, go try going on a date with somebody you find interesting, but not a sexual encounter, just a dinner date that you can have an interesting conversation with and see if it gets your juices flowing. The most important thing, I think, to get you in the headspace, one of the things that really, really helped me was I wrote about it. I wrote down a fantasy. I wrote down something. I wrote a story that sort of bled into and, but see, I'm also, I wasn't a hard sell. Uh, so, but writing a story, um, writing it down a fantasy can actually open up your mind.

And it doesn't have to be like Shakespeare. It can literally be, I went there, he did that. You can literally, it doesn't have to be a great story. It just has to be something that opens your mind up to the possibilities. And what does it do to your body to think about those things in details? Because when you engage your creativity, your mind, and put it through your hand or hands, if you're typing. It can be extraordinarily, it can make you very empathetic. It can make all of those feelings that these characters in your story are feeling bubble up within you.

They call them one-handed reads for a reason because one hand is very busy diddling and the other hand is very busy turning the page. So putting yourself in a position where you don't have, you just kind of have to get your brain thinking along those lines and see what it does for you. And if it's not your thing, do not force the issue. Do not put yourself in a position because that can be even worse than saying no. Saying yes when you don't mean it will give you regrets. And nobody wants to live like that.

And nobody wants to be responsible for the fact that that's, that you feel badly at the end of an experience. So I really don't think he wants to push you into anything you're not ready for. And I really don't think that you want to be pushed into something you're not ready for. So see where you can go with a few things that might trick your brain into seeing a different alternative. But if it's not for you, 100% consent is beautiful. And the first person you have to get consent from is yourself. So never let yourself be put in a position where We'll be right back. beautiful.

And the first person you have to get consent from is yourself. So never let yourself be put in a position where you say yes, but you mean no. It's too important to your mental health. It's too important to the lifestyle. It's too important to your relationship. Making sure that you are on board with everything that's happening is vitally important. Anyway, I hope, I kind of hope some of that helped. And if it didn't, I apologize, but I really hope that you find the right outlet for you and your husband and your relationship. And it may not be this, it may be voyeurism.

It may be talking about what you're seeing and having him explain what he's getting from it. That may be enough. It may be great just to have, just to have those conversations where you are exploring the deep, dark recesses of each other's fantasies, the deep, dark emotions that are being brought to the surface by a fantasy that you dared speak out loud. there's something very very hot about knowing what turns somebody on. And there's something very, very hot about someone knowing what turns you on and using that against you or on you as the case may be.

Um, I honestly believe that it is so much more than two people. It's okay i really believe that the lifestyle is maybe not for everyone, but explore your kinks, explore your fantasies, speak your fantasies to your partner and see what happens. See if there's some element of his kink that can match an element of your kink, because deep down inside, we all have kinks. No matter how vanilla we seem, we all have kinks.

We all like, some of us like toes, some of us like hands, some of us like fooling around like teenagers in the back of a car, whatever your kink is, the only thing that you need to do is access that, access that and let it shine and your relationship will be better for it. And if his kink doesn't match your kink, that's okay. Find when you guys can do together. It sounds like voyeurism is pretty high up there on the scale because you guys seem to enjoy it. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Pineapple Pinup podcast, the hot wife life.

Um, I really have appreciated all the people who've reached out to me and I have more questions from CC and I probably have more information that I can share from a, but, um, the suggestions that I've gotten as to where to spend my anniversary have been great. I've had one couple mentioned that I should head out to Denver or that area and see what that could look like because apparently they've got a pretty happening scene out that direction. And having been through Colorado but never stopped there for any length of time, I'm eager to explore.

If you have any suggestions, reach out, let me know. Pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com.