Mixing my kinks

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life Podcast. On today's episode, I'm going to take you into my mind. I'm going to take you into building a scenario and see how that manifests itself. How do you meld kinks i have a well-known domination submissive kink my husband and i participate in hot wife stag lifestyle but but how do you mix those two?

How do you mix a stag who wants to see his hot wife pleasured, but also wants to be there to protect her, while at the same time handing her over to a dom, a dom who has ideas of what submission looks like, what submission feels like, what acts are required for him to feel dominant, what acts are required when the submissive, aka the brat, decides to act out, what, at what point does the stag step in and say, stop it? Because his need to protect is part of his DNA. It's part of why he's there in the room where it happens.

So I've thought a lot about how do you meld these two particular kink trains of thought in a way that is organic to both. And the problem is that domination has always been in my vernacular. somebody who uses control of another person to amp up arousal, uses control to take someone like me out of their brain and put them into their body. How does that work? Okay. Okay, here's where things are going to get a little sticky, because I do not in any way, shape, or form mean to yuck anyone's yum. But for me, domination is not bullying.

And that's the problem that a lot of people find with domination is depending on how you do it, it either feels like domination or bullying or abuse. And these are things that are not far off from one another. They're not far off from it's just, it's a fine line. It's a fuzzy, fuzzy, fine line that we are all walking and we all have to balance it between two separate people. And at what point is your domination, my bullying? And at what point is your bullying, my abuse? It's a, it's a thing. And what if I'm a bully in that scenario?

What if my brat becomes a bully and that unleashes your abuse? There's a lot of gray area here that is very, very hard to navigate, which is probably why we should talk about it before we get into a scenario. We should talk about definitely when, especially masters, especially doms, especially daddies, we should talk about where our limits are before we start any scenario.

Um, and the problem with my hit and run style of setting up scenes, um, hitting somebody up, meeting them, fucking them and leaving without a lot of conversation or getting to know you, that can lead to things that have negative consequences. Okay. So let's backtrack just a little bit. My idea of domination is when a dominant is so focused on getting me out of my head by distracting me with small tasks that I can accomplish. so overwhelming, my thought process is that it shuts down the swirling internal monologue that's constantly going.

Somebody who's so focused on getting me to be present in the room by providing me grounding forces. That's basically what it's going to come to. That's how domination looks to me. That is what my sub, my internal little sub is looking for. She's looking for someone who will see her, stop her from doing all the things that she wants to do, and force her to focus on the here and now. I don't think that that is an unreasonable request for a sub to make of a dom. I just don't think it's unreasonable. I think that having them focus, there's a saying in kink.

the one who drives the arousal is the one who's in control that's why so many subs are topping from the bottom the one who controls the one who drives the arousal is the one who controls the scene. So if my submission is turning him on, I'm driving the scene. But if his orders are making me incredibly hot, he's driving the scene. He's in control. He's forcing the direction. And if nobody's driving the arousal, then you have a wasted scene and somebody needs to save word out of that.

Driving the arousal is the name of the game at the end of the day, because we are not playing kink games to get some sort of life-affirming prize. We're doing it for the pleasure. We are driving these scenarios are supposed to be about making the arousal reach that crescendo, reach that literal climax, guys, that point where you have created so much anticipation for that orgasm, that that orgasm basically creates earthquakes. It shakes through your entire soul. That's, and I could be wrong.

Maybe I, maybe my idea of kink is different than somebody else's, but I'm also talking about dom stepsub. I am not talking about master-slave. I am not talking about daddy-little. I am not talking about any of that. I'm talking about dom-sub when you're in a scenario where you have a dominant person who's decided to take the lead and you have a submissive person who's decided to hand over. Now, in any scene, the one who, submission is a gift, okay?

And doms need to know that since submission is a gift, should earn it you should treat it like it's precious because at any point that sub can call safe word and safe word is that's it that's's the end. The scenario stops. So, if she, or, sorry, if submissive has that power, Dom needs to know that every act that he is allowed to perform on submissive or sorry, every act that Dom creates and submissive submits to is something that was ultimately given by That is why it is very important for Dom to connect with sub. Know what's going on with sub. Check in with sub.

Whether it's emotional, mental, physical, it doesn't matter as As long as that sub feels that connection, it's going to make the scene that much more personal, that much more intense, that much more uniquely centered on one person or two people. I. centered on one person or two people. I have been in scenarios where I was just straight up bullied. There was no arousal. There was no thought of arousal. It was literally do this, do that, do this, do that. And now I'm going to come on you. That was 100% a scene for that person that had nothing to do with me.

I could have been a fuck doll for all that mattered. And there are, and I am not denigrating anybody who wants to live a fuck doll life. Believe me when I tell you, I get the appeal, but that's not what I was signing up for in that space, in that scenario.

But doms put subs in positions where they may not be able to say for it out, where there's like a gag in their mouth or they're tied up, something you have to make sure that before the scene starts everybody knows how this how the sub can call a halt I really wish that I could find the thing in my imagination and make it meld with the thing I have with my husband. Because both are equally hot. Having my husband witness my pleasure and have it build within him that arousal. He gets to climb that arousal mountain with me. He gets to go on that ride. and has even more delay to it.

His has even more delay from that climax. And so sometimes he goes up the mountain with me and is not allowed to climax and then comes down and then builds it back up again when we're alone. His kink is edging on steroids. His kink is watching it, not touching, watching it, then reliving it, and then reclaiming. He gets to go up and down that mountain more times than I do. But I'd really like a scene. I'd really like to figure out how to bring a dom scene into my hot wife's dad life to create that orgasm build.

Because I don't know if I've told you this or not, I'm not a hard sell when it comes to orgasms. So keeping me from orgasming would be so incredibly hard to keep me building and building and building without. It's so incredibly hard because I'm orgasming I don't know. incredibly hard to keep me building and building and building without. It's so incredibly hard because I'm orgasming all the time. And usually with some sort of water show. And at some point I'm so dehydrated that it's just dust and it's not dust. That's a total lie.

But the thought remains is that I'm literally dehydrating my entire self in these scenarios. My regimen before I go to a party, I have to drink at least 100 ounces of water just to make it through the night. And at the party, I'm usually pounding back waters left and right. It is dehydrating. It is dehydrating to do a party. So these are all thoughts that swirl around inside my head. At what point am I going to surrender, focus so much on controlling my body that I don't focus on anything else. Focus so hard on controlling that orgasm that I don't focus on anything else.

well I guess I haven't gotten anywhere today but I hope you enjoyed the conversation. So today I have my friend Jeff joining me. Say hi. Hi, Pineapple. How are you? I am good. Okay. So, oh, goodness. Take it easy. We're going to do the same thing that I did with Scoot. And I'm going to just basically ask you a couple of things. Okay. So my first thing, what brought you to kink? I think just the want of something without really wanting something.

I think I wanted to find a community of people that had the mindset that, you know, you can have fun and not have it be too serious so so you weren't necessarily looking for an emotional attachment correct yeah okay so you were looking for something fun variety exciting spontaneous and then you know yeah go about my day go about my week go about go about living the whole rest of your life. I get you. Okay. Um, what kink do you identify with the most? Uh, I think very much just open play kind of bull situations. Yeah. I think kind of, I sit in that, in that realm. Okay.

And what is your favorite, like, what's your favorite way to engage in your kink community?

Uh, I think in like my normal day to day life, I'm like kind of quiet, but when it comes to kink, i tend to be a little more spontaneously outspoken and see what attention that can kind of draw and kind of work from there like i like going to generally open play parties finding someone that you know to me looks attractive or interesting and seeing if i can spark up conversation or you know some kind of interest there and then move on from there and hopefully we play if we don't we don't but so as pretty Thank you. Thank Yeah. Do you have anything you want to add to?

Uh to uh no i think i can say you were kind of like an online celebrity to me like i had found your page via fet and i had been you know keeping up with the photos and the videos for a good while so i definitely become a fan of just like your online presence and realizing that you were local and kind of playing in areas that i typically played with or playing with party hosts that i typically played with i was like oh maybe i can get maybe i can get a chance i had no idea yes yeah i uh okay yeah it was i noticed the white streak that you i think it was like you would like to photo had noticed the white streak in your hair and I was like, Oh, that's kind of cute.

Clicked on the page, read through the profile, which most people don't do from what I understand. But yeah, read through the profile, understood, started to like some photos. And then from there, I just kind of kept following. And then the host that hosted the party kind of reached out to me and was like, Hey, I'm doing something for this person. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm there. I had some interest. That's awesome. Okay. All right. Well, that is brand new information for me. Okay. So we have obviously played many times. Many times. And thank you. It's awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

I do have a question. And thank you. It's awesome. Um, I do have a question. I had told, um, a story on a podcast about the time that we met up at that hotel and it was very hot. Like we were in like 45 minutes and both of us were like, okay, I'm tapping. I am tapping. Um, in that particular instance, you did not get to finish. And I do know that there are some guys that go to parties that also don't necessarily want to finish. So can you explain that to me? Like it, does that ruin it for you? Not always, no.

Like, I think some parties, depending on, like, the mood or the day, like, I kind of want to go there, I want to come for sure, and if I can come again, awesome. But then there's other times where just, like, the overall general experience is great, and if I don't come, that's, it's fine, you know, I can take care of it again later, but like, and that's the circumstance. Like I wasn't blue balled or anything like that. Like I, I gave it the old college try. It was hot.

So focus was hard, but we were both staring at each other and going, I think that we're dehydrating, just talking, moving through the steam that had it becomes the room oh my goodness and i couldn't understand it because my husband was like it's cooling down and you and i are both looking at each other going no it's not it's like 157 degrees in here two two turbines just powered up next to each other there's no cool air anywhere near here i honestly think that's i think that's you and i do create a lot of heat every single time we're together it's like okay well yeah oh dripping wet and not just from dripping wet So yeah.

Okay.

Now, um, you had met somebody at a party and that was um that was interesting to me are you looking for any sort of relationship like that or are you i don't think per se like if i were to ever like i think seek out a relationship any time again they would definitely have to be in the lifestyle, but I don't think per se, like if I were to ever, like, I think seek out a relationship any time again, they would definitely have to be in the lifestyle, but I don't think as of this point right now, I'm particularly looking for anything in specific, like with anyone, like I've found, you know, the person I've connected with now, and it's been like a fun experience to kind of plan things and go out and do those things but at the same time I'm fine with it being like minimum and not something super pressing so right you know so I like the fact that that dare I say relationship has given you the opportunity to do couples things and see it from the opposite side.

Yeah.

See it from more like our side, because normally when you show up at places with just, um, when you show up at places with just a single, like as a single, I'm sure that's got a whole entirely different vibe yeah and i mean for like the most part like whenever i've gone out with i guess you could say my partner now it's generally just been us kind of playing i think more recent parties like other friends have like gotten involved but for the most part it's just kind of us showing off to like the places that we go but we want to be in like a setting that's with like-minded people so i think that's really kind of why we've gone out I don't know.

to like the places that we go but we want to be in like a setting that's with like-minded people so i think that's really kind of why we've gone out and ventured out more and that is very interesting because as somebody who's sort of introverted this gives you an opportunity to be very extroverted and very on display yeah which i guess is the whole point of kink it's yeah the opposite of your life yeah it's complete opposite of me and i i want people to see i want people to enjoy what they're what they're watching so i think we tend to like go places and kind of put on a show so we've been to places where like you know the hosts have like attendants that are around to just kind of make sure everyone's okay and because my partner tends to get a little squirty we'll have people rush over with pads like hey yeah we got you we got you you're using up yours we've got some space okay brilliant thing yeah brilliant thing i found out at a the party that i hosted they put we put shower curtains under the mattress pad like so it was the sheet the mattress pad and then the shower curtain okay so it never got all the way through to the To the actual mattress.

The actual mattress. There you go. Okay. And these $1 shower curtains. Oh, yeah. They're cheap as. They're cheap AF. And there you go. And you've saved. They probably have like good like vinyl like tablecloths for like picnic. Exactly. Oh, man. That's really awesome. So just something like that is like the difference between getting $10 or $10 to $50 a month on puppy pads or whatever they can be. And the other thing is, is that, um, you're never going to run into a situation at the hotel where you're going to get charged for damage to the mattress. To the mattress. Yeah.

The pads and everything like that. They can clean. doing laundry constantly so yeah so just start investing in gifts gifts for hosts puts the um and the nice thing about putting the mattress pad between you know putting it under the mattress pad is that it's still kind you don't have to hear that crinkly crinkly so i thought that was effing ingenious so the next time you're going to a house party, you should definitely take a shower curtain. Okay. Helpful tips. Helpful tips. Food for thought. Okay. Do you have any questions for me? Honestly, not.

I mean, no, I feel like I tend to know a good dart about you. You do. You know a great deal about me, and that is because you and I actually talk. We communicate, yeah. We actually verbally and non-verbally communicate. So I just want to make sure, because I know that a lot of what I'm doing is living very out loud on this podcast, especially. And I know that you listen, and I love that so much. I do, I do. And I switched from Spotify over to Apple. Okay. That's all right. I stream there, too. Yep. We're good. It's just easier. It's easier. Oh, yeah. No, I'm absolutely down with that.

I'll probably cut that part out just in case Spotify is listening. Yeah, I figured that's why I gave it a gap in time. I was like that for editing purposes. For editing purposes. But yeah. So thank you so much for doing this. I really, really appreciate it. I try to listen weekly because, you know, I love you. And then I think what it was is like I'm always up super late at night. And I realized like, oh, it usually drops at midnight. What am I doing? Like I've been waiting for the morning as I'm getting ready for work. I could just listen to it like when it first drops. That's amazing. Yeah.

I'm going to try. I'm going to be putting out some hopefully bonus contents soon. I don't know, but I'm going to try. Who knows? Who knows? Thank you for stopping by. Thank you for having me. Hey, listen, guys, catch her when you can. This is awesome. Thank you. So today I have a question from a couple in Arizona. I'm loving your podcast. My wife and I are also in the lifestyle. Kind of curious how you handle men or women who want to enjoy you that are smokers. They stink and they go down on you and then your private parts smell like cigarettes.

I've had this issue multiple times with my wife and if we're at a function and we see people smoking, we basically say they cannot play with us. This is kind of an excellent question regarding what you're allowed to do. If you find somebody offensive, you can say something. We have parties in hotel rooms and there's a shower readily available.

Um, there, if the party planner wants to include some sort of mouthwash or some sort of, because they understand exactly what you're talking about when you're not a smoker and they come back with that fresh ashtray mouth it can be very overwhelming it can be something that is unpleasant because you are not in that category of people and I here the thing.

I understand where you're coming from and I understand that some people enjoy smoking and I am not here to yuck anybody's yum, but you are allowed to say no, not until, not until you've cleaned up because putting someone on blast because they're making you uncomfortable because of a smell, it's legitimately something that you're allowed to make that line. You're allowed to draw that boundary.

And if that is continuing to be an option and it's continuing to limit what you, where you're playing, maybe provide some sort of, um, breath freshener or some sort of toothbrush situation so that that way they're clean enough to not transfer their yum onto your yum and create a situation that's not Not tenable for all parties. Needless to say, it's okay for you to set a boundary. It's okay for you to set a line in the sand, a rule, and you're just going to have to, they're just going to have to be okay with it. You are allowed to say, this is not okay with me.

Um, but that being said, when you're in a party situation, make sure your hygiene is on point. Make sure that you are utilizing all of the resources available to you to make sure that you are as inoffensive as possible. Um, it is reality that we are bodies mixing bodies and sometimes bodies create odors or smoking creates odors and you're allowed to say, could you clean up? It would make me more comfortable.

And it's kind of funny because the party promoter that, um, I spend a lot of time with, um, he actually makes it a point in his opening speech that if your hygiene's not on point, get in the shower, do what you have to do because somebody there is going to put you on blast. Somebody there is going to say something that, no, you're not allowed to play with me. So especially if you're controlling the party atmosphere, bring a bottle of scope, say anybody who smokes, make your way to the bathroom and clean up. Just a thought.

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of the Pineapple Pinup Hot Wife wife life i am really really loving doing this podcast and i hope that you're getting something from it if you have questions comments suggestions please don't hesitate to hit me up my email address is pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. Reach out. Let's touch base. Thanks.