Hitting the spot with G

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast, I get on the spot with G. Hi G, welcome to my podcast. Um. So tell me your current situation so we can start there. Well, first off, thanks for having me. So I am a solo bull in the lifestyle or solo third. I don't always like the term bull, but it's typically what's used. So I'm a solo guy in the lifestyle. I've been in probably about five years actively, but I've been, I want to say kind of like in the outer realm of the lifestyle, probably since I was like 20.

So in and out probably for like a decade, but really in it for the last five years. Okay. And what brought you to the lifestyle? So what, five years ago, I met this lovely woman on Bubble. And it was the pandemic at the time, obviously. So there's nothing to do but talk. So me and her spent hours talking and getting to know each other. And we were talking about various things.

And one late night FaceTime, we ended talking about our kinks and our sexual interest um and the various dynamics we've been in um and for me at the time uh it had been very very monogamous for one-on-one you know i hadn't really done anything too spicy uh oh i guess i should go back i am a pansexual which makes it a little interesting for me um so i told her you know i've been with guys i've been with bi folks they thems you know i told her essentially i've been around the block and then she's like oh well then you're not going to be surprised when i tell you about my life and she told me about her dynamic she was in a she was it she was involved with a with a dom and there were two other subs and they had their own little group chat.

And then they were, the four of them were dynamic. And from there we talked about what that meant for her, what that looked like to be dating other people because that dom was engaged. So he wasn't her primary partner. And we had gone essentially through this entire dynamic relationship for six months, nine months, I think. And then unfortunately she moved away. So we ended our sexual relationship, but kept our friendship. And from there I started to realize like, hmm, monogamy isn't really scratching the right itches for me, you know, not getting to the right spots.

And I decided to, you know, get back into the swing of things for lack of a better term, got serious on FetLife, uh, got onto some other apps out there and really started communicating and dating people in the lifestyle or just being involved with people in the lifestyle. Okay, cool. All right. So how do, what is your play dynamic? how do you meet people? How do you, where do you meet? Are you like, do you have a roster? That kind of thing. I do not have a roster. And that is for a variety of reasons, but I think primarily for me, it has to do with the way I meet people.

So I meet people primarily through the apps. I don't really use FetLife for i do have a fetlife page and an account um mostly they're just to show off my own adventures because i like to take pictures when i'm with people sometimes and we like to show them off um or for looking for groups um but mostly it's it's either swinger apps and this one app called i don't know can i plug an app i don. Sure. Go ahead. Okay. This app called Field. It's very popular in the DC area, in my opinion.

Actually, recently this year, I got off all of the traditional dating apps because I felt they weren't conducive to the type of relationships and dynamics I was looking for. So all the regular dating apps that people normally mention, I'm not even on those anymore. Right. So Field, I am actually quite, I'm actually familiar with it. I need to get on there and like utilize it more, but I know, I know that app. And the thing I like about Field is that it is very, it advertises itself as an ethical non-monogamous.

And so going in there, you know that everybody is either in a relationship or okay with being somebody who's in a relationship. So it gives you more, um, honesty from the jump. Absolutely. Absolutely. so what is your, so currently are you, do you have a hot wife? Do you have, um, are you in any sort of like connected? Yeah, a couple actually. So so actually the person I started off that I mentioned five years ago, we actually reconnected last November. And we are actually connected on the field app as friends with benefits.

There is a couple locally to me that I also met last year at the tail end that we have kind of been feeling each other out. We've gotten a little busy because the nature of the beast and the lifestyle is people do have their vanilla lives and they get in the way a lot um but outside of that typically i meet couples when they post a date night event so i'm not traditionally just shooting my shot into people's dms i have a rule just because of the way single guys have kind of moved in the lifestyle i don't want to to add to all those bad stories.

So I don't approach a couple unless they post a date night on an event or on a swingers app or any app. So traditionally, it's just I joined a couple for a date night or an experience that they're trying to cultivate. And then sometimes they circle back and they're like, hey, we want you to come back again. Other times they're just like, this is really fun. We did enjoy our time with you, but this is probably going to be a one-off for us because we can't be in the lifestyle as much as we want to be. Yeah, that's, that is one of the things that plagues a lot of couples.

So as a, as a bull, um, I do find it interesting how so many, um, bulls navigate the lifestyle. They navigate it in a way that seems almost nonchalant, but it actually, have you ever found yourself getting attached to, um, couples getting like emotionally invested? I would teeter on yes. So far, no, but I definitely would teeter on yes. Um, only because as I said, the, the couple in my area, they, they approached me radically different than everybody else has. So we met on an app and they were like, hey, our first meet is going to be a platonic meet. And we connected based on profession.

Actually, we all discovered we were in the same industry professionally.

And that was really nice because that established that, hey, we connect outside of just our sexual desires, right, which was was really nice um also because they're in the area and they're close to me we can connect on the community we can connect on what's going around going on around us um and in that case i was i definitely found myself like ah i like hanging out with you guys a lot more than i have any other couple and i like the idea idea of hanging out with you outside of the bedroom, which I will admit was relatively new for me because like you said, a lot of guys move pretty nonchalantly.

Um, and even for myself, if I'm only reaching out when you're, when you, you as a couple post a date night, it does kind of feel nonchalant. Cause it's like, kind of like I'm a stunt dick. I just show up, you know, we do our thing. Uh, I check in with you, you know, like we, we have our decompression afterwards and then I go home and we go our separate ways essentially. So I like that stunt dick. That's a, that's amazing. Okay. So when you, um, started navigating this lifestyle and And believe me when I tell you, I completely understand what you're talking about.

We're very close proximity to one another. So I understand what you're talking about when you talk about, because there's something about geographically desirable, Dick, that changes the game.

Um, when you have somebody who is close at hand that can be there and it's not going to take them two hours to get to you there's something really hot about that knowing that you could set up a date night that's not going to that may not be like that you can give a random Tuesday yeah and be like hey if I make dinner you want to come over and fuck like that you can give them a random Tuesday and be like, Hey, if I make dinner, you want to come over and fuck? Like that's, that's hot.

And that to me is something that is, um, one of the things that I've been really missing because I am in a wasteland here. Um, it very much makes it so that anytime I meet somebody, it's a lot of traveling for Dick or they have to travel. And it would be nice to have some, you know, next door neighbor Dick kind of thing. Just because it's geographically desirable makes things actually easier to do. It definitely does logistically. So that's, I find it cool that you found a, first of all, somebody you have something in common with.

Second of all, somebody that is close enough that you guys have the same issues and vernaculars when it comes to traveling to one another. And they, there's a lot more understanding when you come from a similar background. So I think that's fantastic. I myself would love to find somebody that could slot in like that with me and my husband. I have a roster. I won't lie about that. No shame in that. No shame in that. But my, my roster is comprised of a little bit of geographically desirable, a little bit of, um, a little bit of connection, a little bit of, you know, Oh, look, has a big dick.

So it just, everybody's got their own thing that makes them desirable to the roster. So do you have, um, have you, what is the craziest thing that has ever happened to you when you were doing these date nights? That's so funny. Oh, that's a, I don't even know. So the thing about being in a lifestyle though, is things stop seeming crazy to me. Um, I, I know. I mean, honestly, when somebody asks me that question, literally my, my go-to is somebody finger fucked my belly button. I remember I heard that episode. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be laughing But I just remember hearing you talk about it and i was just like that's interesting and then you talking to your husband about it i was just like yeah okay um craziest thing i don't really know honestly yeah i'm like racking my and I've done, I don't want to say I've done everything because I keep discovering new kinks as I, the longer I'm in the lifestyle and things I'm willing to try or experiment with. So, but I've been around the block. I've been around the block. So nothing really seems that crazy anymore. Exactly. Okay. So how about this?

How often do you find yourself signing up for like getting involved in something and then having it fall through? Um, Ooh, so that doesn't happen too often, at least the falling through part. I say that even though that happened literally this month and I won't be returning to that couple, unfortunately. So it doesn't happen too often, but that's also because I think I've tried to put in the front work to make sure it doesn't happen. By that, like I have, I don't want to say a cookie cutter intro message, but I have a pretty, pretty well thought out intro message when I reach out to people.

So, and I also don't mind talking in the DMs of an app or in a secondary messaging app for a while before I meet somebody. So I'm putting in the front work to see, all right, are we, do we really want to match? Or is it just, we both thought, you know, our pictures were hot and now we're just doing a quick little hour or two of sexting and then we're never going to talk again. Right. That's one of the things I'm really, really bad at. I'm really, really bad at the digital communication. I mean, that's not true. I'm great at it.

I give, I give great text, but I don't have the attention span to put in the hard work, to put in the detail oriented work. I am so easily distracted. And the thing is, is that, um, I'm going to be frank, being a woman in the lifestyle, I get so many messages. I get so many messages and that even a conversation that I started because of the way that the conversations are going, a lot of times I lose the thread because if I'm in there answering your message, there are probably five other ones that I'm also answering.

So for me, digital communication is something that is a sparkle, but not really a flame. And that's why, because of the fact that my husband knows that I'm terribly ADD, that he finds it easier for me to make a connection at parties and stuff. So like that I'm not able to squirrel off onto a thousand other things while I'm in the midst of conversing with this person. So that do you find that ever to be something where you lose the thread? I'll see you next time. conversing with this person. So that, do you find that ever to be something where you lose the thread?

Um, so a little bit, uh, so it's a little different, obviously for a single guy or just guys in general.

Uh, cause I've seen my, some of my friends messages and I'm like, Oh, you have so much more chaos happening on the DM side of your apps and various profiles than I do um a lot of the times so because i'm a pansexual a lot of the times what happens is and not even just that just because i'm a bull what i have is husbands reaching out sometimes and they're like getting really hot and heavy into the sex thing in the dm and it's just like but they're not actually setting anything up they just like the idea of talking about it and it's just like okay this is kind of fun but this is also a waste of my time a little bit because nothing's gonna come of this like yeah we're i'm enjoying the sexting but it's not leading to a date or even to a platonic you know drinks or dinner just to chat the reality of like, okay, if I do join you two, or if, if I do, if we do set up a sex date, like, what does that look like?

So exactly. So what does a sex date look like? I mean, just randomly off the cuff, if you're planning this, how often do you plan it? Or are you just sort of like the fit in of the plan? So it depends. Sometimes I am like the chief planner, but also sometimes it's just like the husband or the wife is planning it and I'm just the fit in.

I will say this, my ideal situation is when I'm planning it, we meet at a restaurant for drinks you know we chat flirt a little bit uh and then typically in my case i like to book a hotel that's within walking distance of wherever we're meeting um so that we can go back to said hotel without having to worry about cars or moving anything um as well so we can you know keep the energy up uh and then go back to that hotel room and then have our our date night there um and i typically do the hotel room because my track record has been most of the couples i deal with have kids and so when they do have the free time to be in a lifestyle it's a date night where they need to be out of the house because the kids are either at home with a family member or with a babysitter or whatever uh And also because, you know, general security, people don't always want you coming to their house, which I get.

So when I do that, a lot of couples just like it because it's like, okay, cool. We don't have to worry about you coming over here. We know where we're meeting. Typically, I try to pick like a restaurant that's not necessarily well known, but that's in a nice walkable area, well lit. People know it. It's not like, oh, I don't know that area. You know, where is this random bar? It's like, oh, I know that neighborhood or I know that, that, you know, development. So it's not a speakeasy in the back of a dark alleyway. Oh, how weird. Exactly. Okay. So what is your type?

What are you looking for when you're out there? So this is a good question. Because I've been listening to your podcast and I've also been like self-reflecting on what I've been doing in the lifestyle. And while I've been having fun, I would say as a solo bull, primarily I'm looking for couples, right? Because I like joining and adding to that dynamic. I like the hot wives or the stag vixen dynamic primarily. I will entertain the cuckold dynamic, but I don't really like the degradation part. Like it's just not my thing. I can do it, but it's just like that does nothing for me.

So I like the hot wives and the stag vixen dynamic mostly.

And I like joining them because it's like, honestly, I think i'm a little envious of that dynamic to be one to be the man who's that secure and like yeah my wife is gonna fuck another man maybe i'll join maybe i'll just watch or maybe she'll just go on a date with you and then come back to me first off i applaud any husband in that situation the emotional security and development it took to get there i know isn't easy because even myself i've had to deal with my own jealousy in the lifestyle um but secondly i'm just envious of that dynamic as a couple i'm just like oh wow you guys are really secure in each other and i recognize that there's probably a lot of work that went into that and there's a lot of time um but i just like being a part of that and just adding to their journey uh and i tell a lot of couples you know hopefully one day this is me like i tell the husbands like i really like what you've got Thank you.

I just like being a part of that and just adding to their journey. And I tell a lot of couples, you know, hopefully one day this is me. Like I tell the husbands, like, I really like what you've got going on here. And I want this to be me one day, which is also why I'm not on the traditional dating apps anymore. Because I'm like, I feel like a lot of you are monogamous and me dating you is just setting myself up for failure and disappointment. So let me remove myself from that. You already know it's a little bit of false advertising on your part.

And that's exactly, exactly the anti thing that we're all trying to do because it, we're all trying very hard to be as honest and upfront as we possibly can. And that is a main tenant of being in the lifestyle is that you have to lead with honesty because false advertising is just, which is why when you get catfishers, it's like, what are you thinking? I mean, I like that. I've been around on the internet long enough that I can identify catfishers pretty well, specifically catfishers who use porn stars pictures.

I'm just like I've been around long enough I saw that person's career start and end like I've been on the internet long enough to know who you're catfishing as like stop it the one that got me the one that got me was there was um it was a picture of a man, like a black man's abs stacked, like chiseled. And the guy showed up. He was not black. All right.

The only gym he'd ever been to had an ice cream shop attached to it like it was not this was not somebody who had chiseled black abs this was somebody who and i'm and then he sat there and he was like why don't you want to play with me and i'm like because you creep me out because it's a lie and like come honest because we're gonna know if you get so lucky as to actually meet up We'll be right back. creep me out because it's a lie.

And like, come honest, because we're going to know if you get so lucky as to actually meet up with somebody, putting a lie out there is the very first thing that you did is not going to end well. Absolutely. And that's why actually I don't get when I first started in lifestyle, I used to really, I don't want to say be ticked off, but, like, frustrated by all the verification steps or on the swingers app that they're like, hey, you got to get verified or you got validations. I was like, why?

And, like, as I've progressed further into the lifestyle and just I hear more stories, I'm like, all right, I'll jump through these hoops. I'll jump through these hoops. Let's do a FaceTime or let's meet on it or let's just have a platonic first date absolutely you know and if it doesn't work out off the platonic first date I'm not that mad about that so right I really wish that I could get into dating I mean I'm not I was never a dater even like before I just I first me it's very hard to sit down with somebody and, um, do small talk. I'd rather get to the, the flesh of it.

You know what I mean? And so because of the fact that I know this about me, when people ask me to go on like these platonic dates, I'm literally like, um, yeah, it is, it is actually pretty difficult because at least, I mean, I don't want to say I'm a newbie to the lifestyle, but like when you first start out, it's dating in a lifestyle is radically different than the dating we all know and grew up with, like through high school and early college.

It's, it's radically different in that, you know, at least for a bull, you need to have a relationship with both the husband and the wife, unless like the husband is absolutely not involved. And then even then you have to make sure he's still comfortable with you. That's his wife at the end of the day, even because a lot of people think, you know, the cuckold dynamics, the husband's opinion doesn't matter. And I'm just like, no, that guy has so much power over your relationship.

You don't even realize if he just starts telling his wife, Hey, I don't think this guy's safe for you, she might completely unplug from you. And you're just there. Have you ever been in a relationship where you found out that it wasn't an actual lifestyle, but it was a cheating thing? Have you ever found that? I haven't been in that relationship, but because I'm a pansexual, I'm also on Grindr. And that happens so many times where there's like a couple account and it's really just the husband who's suppressing his bisexuality. His wife is unaware of what's happening.

And I'm just like, oh, this is creepy. This is really creepy. Same thing happens on Reddit too, where husbands will reach out and they'll be like, yeah, I'm trying to get her into the life. So I'm trying to get her to be comfortable with this idea. I'm like, I am not the guy to convince your wife. In fact, I don't even like the idea of convincing your wife. I want her to be a fully fledged participant. To the point that a lot of the times now, I've recognized the red flag is when I'm only talking to one side of the couple, whether that be the husband or the wife. I like a group chat.

I want both parties to see what I'm saying. Even if it's just me and the wife flirting or planning, he should be fully plugged into what's happening. And I actually really like it when a couple's like, hey, let's get a group chat of all three of us going. I'm like, oh, absolutely. Yeah. Love that. Phenomenal. Right. My husband and I share the same profile on all of our apps. So I think with the exception of my podcast apps, my husband and I are on the exact same, like he answers a lot of the messages that come to me on FetLife. I bet most guys don't know that.

You can always tell when he does because he's like uh obviously he gets really sarcastic it is so funny to me when i go back and read his stuff he gets really sarcastic he's like oh so you didn't read our profile is that what i'm hearing what i'm hearing right now is that you didn't read our profile and i'm like dude and he's like yeah no you're not really gonna pressure my wife into doing something we she told you no already And I'm like, and he's like, yeah, no, you're not really going to pressure my wife into doing something. We, she told, you know, already.

And I'm like, that's kind of hot. That's kind of hot, babe. You know? So like for me, it's, it's got, um, I find it interesting that he sees all of the same things that I'm seeing and that he has an idea of what it's like to be, because most of our profile stuff is me. It's got very little to do with him. Occasionally he'll throw up a shot of himself or something, but most of the stuff on our profile is of course me because I'm the one who's doing all the playing and doing all the whatever. So for me, I'm like, he can kind of feel what it's like to be a female on FetLife.

He can feel what it's like to be approached by all of these men who are, and I'm never going to, I'm never going to fault anyone for shooting their shot. That is, it's a brave person who shoots their shot. And even if it doesn't work, you know, more power, but the amount of single word or emojis or like you are, you didn't run into me in the produce aisle. You ran into me in the FET sphere. So if you really want to get my attention, hey, probably isn't going to cut it. So what do you find, um, the most, um, what works the most for you when you're messaging someone?

Well, that's a good question. Um, cause I don't, like I said, I don't cold call too much. Um, I have been doing a little bit more this, this summer, uh, only because I'm just seeing profiles and I'm reading through them and I'm just like, I actually do. I am interested in actually meeting with you two. So let me try this. But like I said, I really curated like an intro. So like, I introduced my name, I introduce, you know, a little bit of my experience and the dynamics I'm interested in when I'm reaching out to a couple of accounts.

Also, generally speaking, I'm addressing both of them until I'm told otherwise, I'm addressing both of them as a unit, because I assume that both of them have access to the profile or to the account, in the same case with you and your husband on the Fed account. And like I said, when you're a third for a couple as a guy, you have to have a relationship with both of them to a degree. So you need to curate that and you need to address both of them equally as much as possible. However, I will admit a lot of the times I don't even get a response.

And that's something that single guys, I think some struggle with, like you're going to shoot your shot and you're getting it lost in the sea. Even if you have a really well curated message, there's no way of telling if you are one message that day or if you're the 500 and that's a very real possibility because sometimes uh because i have a instagram a spicy instagram account i like to call it and sometimes i'll shoot my shot and then i remember oh i'm probably just sitting in their request folder with a sea of other guys or other couples.

And I'm just like, okay, I can't be that mad that they didn't respond to my very vanilla question. Cause I don't open with something super spicy. It's typically very vanilla, very, oh, you know, if they're like in the DC area, I'm like, oh, are you, how long am I going to be in the city for? And then I'm like, oh, they didn't answer.

Cause I'm just sitting in their request amongst all the emojis and unsolicited dick pics and i'm like all right well move on so oh yeah uh unsolicited dick pics that is a it's gonna be my table it's gonna be my coffee table book one day you know i get it no because i i get them too and i just like, I didn't ask for this. Like, yes, I'm a pansexual. And yes, I've been with men. But like, you don't even know if I'm attracted to you. Why are you sending me your dick pic already? The one that kills me is this new thing that's come up is rate my dick. I've seen this.

And I'm like, uh, for me, I mean, like I'm an equal opportunity cock lover. Okay. I love cock. I love it. I love it all. Not something that I necessarily want to view in unsolicited situations, but it's one of those things where I enjoy playing with all shapes and models because every single one is different. And because every single one is different, just like every single vagina is different, it's going to hit differently. It's going to be something. And there are times when it's, you know, okay. But even bad sex is good. You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

So, I mean, but there's a lot going on there. There's a lot to, that happens in those unsolicited dick pics that you're just like, and the people who ask you to rate their dick, it's like, I'm never, I don't want to humiliate my husband who might actually want me to do that, who might actually be into that. And I don't want to do that because that's not the kind of vibe I want to put out into the world. I don't want to be somebody who is judgy. I want to be somebody who is curious, who is, okay, so that curves to the left. What would that do?

which position would work best for you to get to my g spot okay so i'm laying on my left side that that sounds like it could work you know that kind of thing so for me it's i'm also kind of a logistical like what's going to get me to my orgasm the fastest? So you, okay. So you don't have a type type. Do you have a type type? I will say historically it is white women. That's not through like my decision though.

That's just how just how it happens I think being a person of color in the lifestyle specifically for a woman is a lot more what's the word there's a lot more delicate because you really have to unpack and actually for guys too but I think a lot of the guys just overlook it you have to really unpack if you're being fetishized and it's really like i've seen some of the dms of like women of color in fat life and or just in general i'm like oh these are really people who don't even see you as a person they're just there for the sexual gratification of being with this race versus that race and it's just like oh i don't like that.

I don't like that. Not to say that there aren't people in my area who aren't white, who aren't in the lifestyle, but they tread a lot lighter and a lot more carefully. And so there are less opportunities to run into them. I will admit my area is, I don't want to say clicky, but very guarded, guarded. And the longer I'm in it, the more I realize why. The more I see it, the more I experience it. I'm like, okay, I get why when you have a group of people, or if you have a play group, why that group is so heavily guarded and protected versus, you know, just being out in the wild.

Because from, you know, the people who are going to fetishize you to the people who are going to scam you to, you know, the people who just are really toxic and unhealthy and you kind of realize you don't want to sleep with them, the people who fake their profiles. So. Amen. So, yeah.

So do you typically end up with people who are older or younger than you older uh it's definitely older uh actually i brought in the year with a couple who were grandparents and whose children were like only seven years younger than me and i was very proud of that fact i was very proud of that fact and i was like all right and the wife I'm just some old grandma. I was like, some old grandma, I'm going to put through the fucking bed. And we definitely did. And I had a blast. And I was just like, yeah, I don't care if you're older than me.

I do care if you're younger, however, because I recognize how I was earlier on in the lifestyle when I was in my mid-20s and didn't recognize all the red flags that were out there. So like, I'm very careful about people who are younger than me. I'm like, all right, hold up. How long have you been in? You know, what have you been doing? But yeah, traditionally I live with older people or older couples and I love it because they know what they want, which is probably why I can do the slot in as a third for them a lot easier because they know exactly what they want. They've described it to me.

We've talked about it. We've sexed about it. And then it's the night of and we're right there. We all know what we're doing and we're having a blast and we're going to have some great orgasms. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, I understand exactly what you're talking about. My husband and I, for a very, very long time, when we first started, we had an age limit. Nobody under 26 just wasn't going to happen because there's something about the fact that their prefrontal cortex hasn't fully formed that makes you feel a little predatory.

No, I get it all the like i i not recently but i remember when i made the change on all of my dating profiles and i was like nobody below this age and then as i found myself getting older and older and now i'm in my 30s i'm like definitely nobody below this age like yeah you might be hot i might like your videos and your your photos on fetlife i might even like your account but it. Probably like it's no, I'm good.

Cause there's, there's, and I understand that everybody has to start somewhere, but that doesn't mean that I need to take advantage of whatever it is you're working through in this realm. And I'm happy that people find their way to their kink very early in life. But I also understand that a lot of kink is derived from trauma. And I don't need to be adding to anyone's trauma base. For me, it's just, yeah, no, I'm good. Thanks. And the thing is, is that I talk a good game though, but if I'm at a party and somebody approaches me, that's true. I will ruin a life. Yeah.

I will admit when, um, I don't do this often, but when I'm, when I'm at a gangbang event, I I really, you know, don't ask too many questions in regards to like, OK, you know, what are your kings? I'm just like, OK, what's your safe word? Who's your who's your safety buddy? Cool. We got that. We're off to the races, you know, get naked. We're all about to have a good time. But also, I don't think I've been to a gangbang where there's anybody been too young or that's raised a red flag for me. Most of them are either at my age or older. So I, I, some of my early, early stuff was gang bangs.

Like people would set up gang bangs for me. Oh yes. Thank you. Twice more, please. Yes. I mean, seriously, a gangbang for me is one of those truly delicious events for a woman. It is one of those events where it is 100% all about her and all of the energy is related to her and her holes and her and it is so much energy that I feed off of it it I feel like a succubus really that I'm just like yeah, that's a great way to put it. So for me, I mean, I and I love a good party. I love the atmosphere that that creates.

And that's why I think my husband and I tend to find most of our bowls from parties because it is an it is a place and a time when everybody's let their guard down and they are like we're just we're just feeding an energy here we're we're going with this this and it breaks so much of the tension it breaks so much of the ice and it gives makes everybody puts everybody on the same page yeah so no those are good ironically for me i actually haven't been to too many parties i've been to gangbanks but like that's like the plan was the gangbang and we knew that was happening and every guy was screened or filtered for that um because i find for me one i'm actually a surprisingly shy person i know that's just's just funny being in a lifestyle, but I don't like big gangbangs.

So once we get past, you tell me, oh, I've got more than eight people coming. I'm like, ah, is this a gangbang for me at this point? Because I've been to a couple of big gangbangs, right? Where there's been like eight plus. I think the biggest one I've ever been to was 12 plus.

And then as the night progressed, i realized it was just the same five guys including myself in rotation like some of the guys would just like kind of stand there and be like oh do i get in how do i join and it's just like oh you know you gotta tell me you want to come in and i'll i'll either let you in or i'll finish and then you can go um versus the smaller gangbangs where it's like under five guys i know like that's a lot more intimate and like you said it's still focused on the life and those are really fun for me and i start to feed off that energy too and even after i've climaxed one or like three or four times i think the most has been like five i there's still like something going on in front of me that i can enjoy even as i'm taking my break and then i can just join back back in when I'm ready.

And I know that like there's space for me versus the bigger game banks. I'm just like, all right, there's like four of you who haven't joined in yet. And like me and these other five dudes are going to keep going until we can't go anymore. Exactly. And that's kind of, it's really funny. That's kind of the way a lot of the parties I go to are.

Like the last party went to there were so many people there but i literally only played with three of the participants and i mean mind you they were my guys they were my like they're guys i've all i've all played with them many many times in the past but it was one of those things where I kind of felt so like I had called my roster and left everybody else, but that didn't, but that wasn't. That wasn't something you were, yeah, that wasn't something you were trying to do. That wasn't something I was trying for. Yeah.

I think for guys, it's, it's a little bit little bit more difficult one because i've seen it happen some guys get stage fright right for a variety of reasons uh whether it's like oh there's a bunch of dicks in the room that i that like just doesn't do it for me and i can't mentally focus or uh i've seen this happen where there's just a big dick motherfucker in the room and you realize that like he's so much bigger than you and i'll say this to any guys listening there's always going to be a bigger dick there's just a big dick motherfucker in the room and you realize that he's so much bigger than you.

And I'll say this to any guys listening, there's always going to be a bigger dick. There's just always. The sooner you get over that mental hill, the better you will have, the better time you'll have in the lifestyle. But also in the case- Not every woman can take a dick that big. That's very true. The fact is that there are so many women out there who are intimidated, just as intimidated by a big dick as you are. So she's not looking and I, and I will be frank about this. We're not look all, not everybody's looking for size.

Some people, that's why I am a connoisseur of dick, if you will, because every single dick has its own attributes to share. And that's what you're looking for. You're not looking for, oh, he rearranged my diaphragm and now my liver is bruised. You're not looking for that.

So every teapot, every cup of tea has somebody who will drink it don't you should never be intimidated that you don't have the biggest dick in the room anyway absolutely something very smart about that so in your case for any guy who wasn't on your roster i could imagine it being difficult because there's already chemistry right so that's the other thing is a lot of guys guys looking in, whether it's their first time or they're just new to that group, or even if they've been a returning member, if they haven't been with that woman who's the center of the gangbang and they see these other guys who are, for lack of a better term, being more dominant, aggressive, and just going after it, they might be hesitant to just jump in.

I've seen that happen a lot of times. And it's also hard hard which is why like for me when i'm at a group you know yes i'm i'm going i'm doing my thing having my fun but i'm also looking around like hey you want you want to turn you want to come in because you kind of have to do that you really especially once you get past four guys you have to be hey you want to turn bro because some guys can nut and keep going other guys need can nut and they have to take a break. I'm kind of one of those guys who nuts. Okay.

I'm going to take five minutes, get a glass of water, maybe go pee, refresh, dry off, wipe a towel off of my forehead. And then I'm going to join back in. Right. But some guys aren't like that. Some guys are just like, Oh, this is phenomenal. I'm going to keep going. And they're going until like the Energizer Bunny. And you have, and if you're those guys, you know, you kind of have to look around and be like, Hey, do you guys want to turn? You want to get in here?

Like, and sometimes you as the guy waiting, you just, you have to put yourself in there or get close, you know, get, get close, get a hand, get somebody stroking on you. And then watch, she'll be like you, my mouth and next thing you know you're you're in that rotation of guys who you at first were too intimidated to join exactly i mean and there are guys out there like i i if you've ever heard the episode about the cannoli bogart and the punch bowl um he there are guys out there who are very selfish and don't look around and realize that there's only one female playing at this party.

I need to puff, puff, pass. It's just, it's just party etiquette. And there is etiquette to all of these parties. There's etiquette to how you approach a gang bang. You never, it's, especially if a gang bang is set up for a very specific woman to do, this is about harnessing her inner slut and working through her desires to be that center of the attention. So if you are taking more than your fair share of time with this woman, it's becoming about you and not becoming about this woman. And I don't know if you've ever seen how gang bangs are advertised.

They're advertised about the woman for a reason, because somebody wants to watch this woman reach maximum pleasure. And if you're coming to a gang bang under the impression that it's about you in any way, shape, or form, you're probably approaching it wrong. You're probably approaching it from a narcissistic point of view that you should probably curb before you walk in there. Because I, as the woman, am the narcissist here. No, it's, I mean, you're not wrong. When you're at a gangbang, it's not about the guys. It's about her. The guys are just there to help fulfill a role.

You know, for lack of a better term, we are the stunt dicks for her to fulfill this fantasy, to fulfill this moment. And, you know, you, like you said, you have to puff, puff, ass. I don't think I'm not stealing. Don't think I'm not stealing stunt dick. Totally. Feel free. Feel free. Co-opting it, bringing it into my lexicon. So, but yeah, no, I mean, my thing is, is that I have been in the lifestyle. I've been at gang bangs. I I've been at parties. I've been at one-on-ones. I've been through the gamut. We set up a hot date on SLS once and everything.

One thing that women don't really know is that in the lifestyle, pussy is power. Absolutely. Pussy is power. And you like, and I think that's something that women don't realize that they, they have, they don't realize the extent of the power they have over a situation because one no from her ends everything. What do you as a bull look out for? What makes you hesitate? Okay. Well, for me, one, even before close comes off, we're going to have a consent conversation. We're going to have a boundaries conversation. Um, whether that's actually not, whether that's going to happen via text, right.

Or our messaging app or the DMS, I'm going to ask you, what are your hard nose? What are your soft nose? Um, what is this ideally should end for you? Like, how should this event or date night go for you? Um, and then again, when we get in person, when we get to that hotel room, I'm going to, you know, or as we're walking to the hotel room, I'm going to reaffirm everything that you just asked, right? I'm going to also ask you your safe word eventually, either right before your clothes come off. Um, I'm going to tell you that I subscribe to the traffic light system, which is green light is go.

There are like three different yellow lights. You know, there's some yellow lights that are like, I'm overstimulated, slow down, but don't stop. There's a yellow light. I don't really like this. Let's change positions.

and then there's some yellow lights that are like i'm overstimulated slow down but don't stop there's uh yellow light i don't really like this let's change positions and then there's yellow light this is great but i might need a break and then obviously there's red light which is hey stop decompress whatever might restart might not um but that's just my system uh so we're gonna have those conversations has always been yellow light to me has always been a let's let's pause and have a conversation something's not right so it's a yellow light always meant conversation to me and it can that's why i said that's why i said yellow has like three three different three different like things because it could be you know hey we need to stop and have a conversation or it could be this is great i'm just overstimulated slow the fuck down which has happened somebody has used that with me before and i'm like okay cool we'll just slow down the pace that's fine what did that look like i mean what was what was overstimulated um well so we were having a threesome we were having a threesome with her husband and yes there was click clip play involved while we were penetrating.

And she was just like, Hey, I can't breathe. There's a dick in my mouth. There's a dick behind me. And both of you are either playing with my nipples and my clit. I'm overstimulated. It's great, but just slow the fuck down. So we did, you know, and she, she had a great night, but it was just like, okay, cool. Yellow light, slow down a little bit because I just need to catch my breath.

but there's also like you said yellow light where we need to stop um and i'm gonna have that conversation with you before clothes comes off so all of that is happening even before we get to me looking out for red flags then during i'm going to look at your body language i'm gonna look at are you wincing quietly and like trying not to ruin the vibe um also i'm gonna be honest i'm checking in throughout the night like throughout whatever we're doing i'm checking in i'm i'm not asking do you like it just to hear my voice i'm like i need you to affirm you do in fact like this and you want me to keep going uh i'm gonna ask you know are you okay whether that's in a sultry voice even in a gangbang i'm checking in with as, you know, my cock is potentially coming in and out of her mouth.

I'm like, how are you doing? You know, do you like that? You like, you know, all these words that people think you're just whispering sweet nothings. No, I'm actually checking in with you and I'm checking your response. You know, sometimes you're out of breath and you're like just nodding. OK, cool. I know we're OK. Sometimes it's a yes. Sometimes it's a fuck yes. And I'm like, all right, cool. We can keep going. And generally, I haven't had any situation where I've generally really had to stop.

Well, recently, now that I'm thinking back to my earlier days, there have been moments where I've been like, okay, I got to stop because you don't look like you're enjoying yourself. And I'm not one to power through somebody's discomfort. So it's really been like, okay, if you're not enjoying yourself, we're going to stop. Even if you say, No, okay, if you're not enjoying yourself, we're going to stop. Even if you say, no, no, I can handle it.

It's like, no, you're clearly in pain either because of my size or because this position, whatever's going on, you know, and either we stop and it's just not going to happen. Maybe we just both orally please each other.

And that's, that's the night ends or we just stop altogether and you know decompress to do some aftercare talk about what went wrong talk about why you were silently felt you could tell me you were uncomfortable and then we move on from there uh but generally i haven't had to really stop but those are the things i'm doing so like a lot of couples uh because i recently was with a couple in in june and they just moved to the stop. But those are the things I'm doing. So like, a lot of couples, because I recently was with a couple in June, and they just moved to the area.

And they were like, Yeah, he was really nice, you know, really sultry, whispering, sweet nothings. I was like, thank you. But I was actually checking in with your wife the entire time. I was like, you know, because it was it was kind of a for lack of a better term, a mini gangbang, where the husband got three guys to come over and we had a lovely hotel night and the focus was on her. And it turned into, you know, we were having a good time, but at the same time, I was just like, Hey, are you okay? You know, do you like having this big dick in you? And she's like, yes, I love it.

I was like, cool. I know we're on a good track. I know you're having a good time, you know? So things like that, you know, people think you're just whispering sweet nothing. So it's like, no, I'm actually checking in with you to make sure you're having a good time. Yeah. Because, um, one of the things that, that a lot of people don't realize is that, um, women will shut down. Women will stop talking. Women will, if they get uncomfortable, they'll, they'll go to some, they'll, it's a quiet place within themselves. Exactly. It's the fight, flight, freeze. A lot of women are freezers.

A lot of women are like, I'm just going to hold still until this is over. And then I'll, then I'll find my way out. They really will. The fact that you as a man, as a bull understand and constantly do the double checks for consent to make sure that whatever's going on, she's 100% on board with, because it's hard for women who are trying to do the things that are expected of them. Constantly living up to expectations. To put yourself in a position where you thought you were going to feel a certain way about it and then suddenly you don't. In the moment, you're not, yeah.

Having somebody who will actually stop, make make you focus make you say the words yes i'm good brings you back into and i i find that very admirable i find that something that most a lot more men could be doing yeah and let me say this to the male listeners don't be afraid to stop fucking i've done that before i've like legitimately stopped fucking, I looked somebody in the ad, like, I need you to use your words. I need you to say, yes, I'm enjoying myself. Uh, the little nod or the, uh, like, that's not enough. It's not clear enough. I need you to say yes.

Whether you add, you know, uh, you know, a yes, daddy to the end of that, or yes, keep fucking me. Those are irregardless to me, but I need to hear that. Yes. Right. Right. So don't be afraid to like legitimately stop fucking and just be like, all right, are you going to affirm that you're okay and on board or we go to stop here? Cause I'll stop. Yeah. My dick is hard. Yeah. I might give myself blue balls, but I'll stop. Yeah. I got a shower and a hand at home. I'll be exactly okay so i mean that is so to me, um, that is some very deep lifestyle knowledge that you have right there.

That is some information that I can truly honestly say that you're doing the lifestyle the way that I hope most bulls approach the lifestyle, looking for constant affirmation of consent. I find that ridiculously hot. Well, thank you. I think my partners would agree with you, at least the people who have been with me. Yeah. Ironically enough, like somebody randomly, like not somebody I was involved with, but the friend of somebody I was involved randomly called me Captain Consent just because of the way we were. We were at a dungeon and it was my first dungeon experience.

It was a private dungeon. And I just, you know, just kept asking, like, is it OK if I do this? Is it okay if I watch, you know, because since it was my first dungeon, I was seeing so many things for the first time. And it had really been the first time I'd been on that side of the lifestyle. I'd normally been with just, you know, the swinger side or, you know, the submissive girl one-on-one. And that was my first time, you know, seeing a St. Christopher's cross or to see somebody tied up and suspended as they go through an impact session.

It's also the first time I played with electrical stimulation. And that was very interesting. It's not as bad as it sounds, everybody. They trust me. It's more like bee stings. That's the way it always felt to me. It felt like bee stings. You know, I didn't even think of it like that. I just liked it. It felt like I was sitting in a massage chair. And it was funny because somebody was like, oh, or somebody who was watching me be stimulated was like, are you a centralist? Because you seem to be enjoying this a lot.

And I like in the moment, I was very quiet because I was like, oh, yeah, you might be right. This might have to be. And ironically, after that moment, I thought about it for like two to three weeks. I had to change my FetLife title. And I was just like, you know, being a bull is nice and that's still a part of me, but I am definitely a centralist because I saw it carry over into how I was interacting with couples and hot wives. And it's just like, yeah, this is my thing. So. That's awesome. Yeah.

My husband, whenever we did electrical play, he couldn't ever feel it he's more of a conductor so i would touch him and i'd be like okay there's a lot of electricity running through you right now but we don't like it got to the point where i was just like this just feels like i'm being stung by bees i'm not really there so this is it's definitely an acquired taste yeah no it's that's that's perfectly fine it's an acquired taste but wax play though wax play is like the hot and then the the way it hardens and then peeling it off all of that is such a uh i mean it plays with your nerve endings and it focuses you in the here and the now and it can't because it changes its natural state just in a short amount of time it's constantly reassessing what you're feeling and it is interesting for me that's so there's something really erotic about it i've never done it i've seen it and it just in my head i'm just like that's really messy and i'm not interested in that but a lot of people have described it the way you have and i'm like oh maybe one day and i guess that's like the beauty of the lifestyle is if you're not long enough you're gonna try it you're gonna you're gonna keep seeing it you're gonna meet a friend who's just like oh yeah i love this you you want me to walk you through it like in a safe controlled banner and it'll just take that one friend or that one person you're like uh i trust you all right let's let's walk through this let's try this i gotta tell you messes that's why god made shower curtains okay you're not wrong goto shower curtains are my go-to because they're like the shower curtain liners they're super cheap you can buy a bunch of them they fold up real nicely in your little suitcase you can lay them out have make as big of a mess as you want on top of it fold the whole thing up and throw it away i love self-cleaning.

Sorry. No, don't be sorry. I really do appreciate you coming on here because it is, I of course talk to my husband all the time and I get a lot of the perspective from his side. And I have had conversations with Jeff Jeff who is one of my favorite bulls but it's very interesting to get a perspective that's not that I don't have personal involvement in do you know what I mean yeah so because of the fact that I know he's not referring I know you're not referring to me when you have these, even though I'm a little jealous that it's not me, but you know, whatever.

Um, I do like the fact that these convert that having a conversation where I can dig more and not feel like I'm narcissistic about my digging. Do you know what I mean? It's like, so tell me how wonderful I was. Okay? Yeah. You kind of get a, for lack of a better term, an objective POV compared to the guys who have just been with you and you never know, like, are they being super nice or are they just remembering the best moments? Exactly. You know? Anything that you want to do? Anything that you want to try? Yeah.

So one of the reasons I know I'm a pansexual, because that was a journey in itself too. One of the things I really want to do is I want to be with a bi couple where the husband is also bi, or at least a bi bottom and interested in sucking my dick. I have sucked a husband's dick in a threesome with a couple. Very hot experience, but it's still on my bucket list of like, I really want the couple to suck me. Something about that power dynamic in that moment. I love power exchanges. So that to me is just a great one. Whether I'm the one in control or I'm giving control to somebody.

But the fact that we trust each other enough to exchange power is phenomenal. So in that moment for me, a couple sucking my dick together. It's just the idea of is phenomenal. It's phenomenal. Yeah. Now, now that's that's hot as fuck. And here I was thinking you were going to tell me you wanted to go on a cruise. Anyway, I'm just kidding. I was just kidding. I see the cruises, but they might be on the list. Again, I like the small intimate setting, so I feel like the cruise is too intimidating. Exactly. There might be too much stimulation going on. Yeah. Okay.

Well, I really appreciate you joining me. I mean, it's amazing. It's amazing that you would take the time seriously. as always guys head over to privateadventures.net to fuel all of your fantasies and get some creative inspiration for your next big adventures. Privateadventures.net definitely has a lot of new stuff going on. They have a blog. So if you're looking for more information about a specific topic, head on over there, take a look at what they're laying out. And as always, if you stop by, let them know I sent you with the promo code PineapplePinup10.

Thank you for joining me today on the Pineapple Pinup, the Hot Wife Life podcast. I'm so grateful to my guest. I really enjoyed having this in-depth conversation. And as always, if you need to reach me, you can find me at pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. You can check my socials there. My Instagram is listed in my show description. I am more than happy to take any conversation online if you like, and just reach out. I'll see you next time.