Deep in the woods

Transcript

Welcome to the Pineapple Pin of the Hot Wife Life podcast. On today's podcast I'm going to talk to you about a house party that we went to that was actually successful. I know, crazy. We went to a house party down south. We were invited by a friend who had been to a couple of our parties in the past and was very interested in having us come to their area. So they knew of this party and had us invited by the, you know, we basically touched base with the host and everything, and it took a while, but we got there, and we were heading down. To get there is a trek.

To get there is a lot of back roads, a lot of turns, a lot of dark roads that lead to gravel roads that lead to semi-paved roads that, you know, it was, it's, it's a hike out there. And we had, we were in the car and we were driving down there and I reached over and I grabbed my husband's hand and I said, if this is a murder party, I'm glad we're going together. Because you get that vibe sometimes. You get that vibe that we are going somewhere that part of you knows is not exactly the safest thing to do because you don't know these people. You don't know where they live.

You don't know what their goal is other than the fact that, you know, we've been told by a friend that they're a friend and that we're all on the same page. So we through and my husband was like I'm glad you glad to know you want me dead but I'm like uh but it was it was an interesting drive and so we got there and the house was fucking perfect for a party. Lots of acreage hidden back from the road. The house itself, the first floor was a no play zone, but it was open spaces, good flow. um, the owner's area that they didn't want anybody to be in was right there out back.

They had a screened in porch. They had a deck, they had a pool deck and they had a fire pit and lots of acreage to park cars on. So it was actually really well designed, really well I'm going to take a king size bed. The second one had a queen size bed. The first one had a king-size bed. The second one had a queen-size bed. The third one had two air mattresses. I'm going to say those were queen-size air mattresses. And the fourth one had two full beds. and the whole place was basically designed with areas that had seating for people to watch.

It had fans in a lot of the rooms that were operational. It was a lot going on. And the The house flow was great for moving in and out of areas and creating different vibes in all the rooms. It was a really good design for a party. So when we first got there, we met the hostess. There were two couples that were throwing the party. And it was a little confusing as to who was who, but there was a lot going on. So there were two couples that were hosting the party.

And so the wife of the couple that owned the house gave us the tour and she showed us around and told us where everything was and gave us, you know, the full rundown and she was very fun and funny and we were talking a great deal about what her plans were and, you know, how great the house was and all this good stuff. Then we were downstairs chatting and my husband went outside because it was getting a little, it was getting a little crowded inside.

So I went out to join him and it was chatting with more couples doing you know the meet and greet section of the party and then they did the rules uh we came inside they let us know hey this is where we play this is where this this activity is not allowed here make sure you're dressed when you're here. Make sure that, you know, and so it was, it was a starting gun, which is very helpful for me. Very, very helpful for me. And I got into a conversation with this couple. We had met outside and he kept glancing at me like, I know her.

I know her from somewhere and so at one point so we're over talking after the rules are read and she looks at me and says he knows you he thinks you're a porn star at which point I laughed really hard and said well I do have a lot of content so maybe and he said um and then I gave him I have uh basically made cards to show people the this podcast to basically give them an idea of what it is that I'm doing and how to find it and all that good stuff so I gave him a card and he wanted me to sign it, which is kind of flattering. I mean, seriously, it's kind of flattering.

I'm just a girl who talks into a microphone a couple of times a week. And so the fact that he wanted my autograph was kind of bizarre to me, but I did it because it was kind of fun and novel. And then we went and so, but we were, we had been talking and then I was like, you know what, I got to go. I'm going to head upstairs. So I went upstairs and I was wandering around trying to find anybody who was playing and what was going on. And I happened to run into this one guy. We'll call him the clock. The clock and I were kind of passing each other.

And so we finally just decided, hey, you want to play? So we decided we were going to play. So we went into the room that had the queen bed on a bed frame. Now, this queen bed on the bed frame was great, except it felt really rickety. It was like every time you moved, you could hear everything squeaking and kind of twisting a little bit. You could kind of feel it. Everything was moving underneath the bus. So it was like, okay. But the reason that this man got nicknamed the clock is because of the fact that he was very steady to the beat, every movement, every thing.

And so he was kind of one of those rock steady slow paced fucks and it was and it was great and I got him I literally had to get him to get me warmed up so I had to teach him him how to hook, and it was good. It was fun, and thank God they had multiple pee pads, I guess is the only thing to call them, but they're these waterproof blue pads that you can put down. And I put one down under my towel because I don't really like to stick to those. The back, the absorbent part can kind of, if you move around on it too much, can basically start falling apart and leaving pieces of it on your skin.

So I tried to cover that up. So anyway, so I'm in there and I'm using the towel and the pad in concert with one another. And then he and I decided to move on to other pastures. So I went back to the room with the two double beds. Now, the two double beds were memory foam. And memory foam is great for sleeping. Not so great when you are trying to fuck.

because here's the thing you're it's memory foam so it's constantly like altering and shifting to fit your body the problem is is that you're sinking and when you're fucking you kind of need a stable base you kind of need a stable spot to, to get power leverage from. And all the guys were complaining that it was causing their thigh muscles to just burn. They were getting toe cramps. They were getting, and so I, I went in there and I was playing with the guy we're going to call the Q-tip. And I'll get to why. But anyway, so he and I were playing and he was there with a woman and a man.

And they were both kind of encouraging him to ask me. And she ended up asking me if I would play with him. And I was like, yeah, sure, let's play. So I ended up playing with him and he was, oh my God, so powerful and so good. And he was getting me off and, but he kept, we kept having issues because of the fact that we were on this memory foam. So at one point he put me on top and I'm like, this isn't working because every single time I went to go to, you know, basically sit down on him, he would slide away and his cock was nowhere to be found every single time we fucking tried to do this.

So at one point we finally got him in that lasted all of about three minutes. And then it was like, this isn't working. So we kind of pulled a wrap on it. So we call him Q-tip because of the fact that when we were playing, he would reach up and rub his fingers in my ears. This was unprecedented. So I did not know what it was about. So he will forever be known as Q-tip. And then we, I left and I went and sat down and I sat down next to the couple that I had been talking with downstairs, the guy who knew me and the girl that he was with.

And she started asking me questions and she said, are you bi? And I said, you know, I'm not not bi. It's not what I'm necessarily on the hunt for, but it's not something that I'm opposed to either. So she basically asked me if I would fulfill a fantasy for her partner. And I said, sure. And he wanted a threesome and he wanted a real honest to God F F M threesome. Now I'm going to run through this because it was something that I kind of knew, but kind of didn't know. And so I'm going to kind of spell it out real quick, real here.

FMF, FFM, that is two females one male okay ffm means that there's a female as the linchpin you have to think of it like a v so the center letter is the one that kind of connects the other two so if you have an mfm then the males don't necessarily touch I'll see you next time. the other two. So if you have an MFM, then the males don't necessarily touch. If they do, it's incidental, but not planned, not what they're going for. If it's an MMF, then the males will touch and so will the female. Everybody's in there, anything is go. Um,'s the same as FFM.

So the females will touch and the females will play. But if it's an FMF, then the female touching is incidental. It's not the reason that we're there. So this one was an FFM for sure. This one was very much linchpinned on me. And it was kind of interesting to be the linchpin in that situation. And oh my God, was she talented. She got me to squirt by eating me.

Don't know how she did it really to this would not be able to recreate it but holy crap she got me to squirt while I was fucking being eaten so kudos that was fucking amazing and then um but she and I were playing with him and he was playing and it was, it was a lot of fun. And it was, and we took some time, we took a lot of time and it would, and people would come over and say, Hey, can we join? And he was like, dude, this is my fantasy. Can I just, can you just, we're not quite there yet. We're not done yet. So he was very much taking control of that aspect of it.

and it was great because it was so much fun it was it was great to be having this um interaction this interaction led to a lot of other things um with between me and my husband but i will i will get to that probably in a different episode i was fulfilling this fantasy for basically i was picking this guy's threesome cherry and it was a it was a really good time and sadly we finished up we were about to exchange numbers and there was a call to end the party so So, and I'll get into that more, but for this one, it was so, I mean, I was really upset because I didn't get an opportunity to exchange numbers with them, but we ended up finding them later and now I do have their numbers.

So um, that might be something that's re that's reoccurring. I was extra now I do have their numbers. So, um, that might be something that's re that's reoccurring. I was extraordinarily impressed by this party. Um, aspects of it didn't really work, but there were some, but the party itself, the people, I was upset that it ended so abruptly because there were a bunch of people there that I would have loved to have gotten to know better. And, um, there were, and the friend that had, um, invited us, we didn't even get to really like hook up or talk.

So that was, that was sad, but it was, it was a good time and we left. And then the, the big problem for us was that, uh, as we flew out of there, there was no place to eat. And as you know, when I am done, I like to get myself some sandwich and go and, you know, and eat because I haven't done that for a while at that point. So it was awesome. But Ken, I just want to say that it's very interesting to find yourself face to face with anatomy that you know, but you don't know, okay? I rarely find myself face down in a female's, in the female area, okay? I very rarely find myself face to hunt.

But when I do, it's always so incredibly interesting how everything down there is designed. And it was a lot of fun exploring, looking for the places that were going to make her crazy and giving her the hook that I know is really, really, but the problem is, is that I do have very long, sharp nails and I was very concerned that I was going to hurt her. Um, and I think that's part of, that's part of it all. That's part of everything.

Learning new terrain, new, learning new people and trying not to be, not to injure anyone is kind of something that I'm kind of adamant about because I know what it's like. So I don't know that I gave her everything, but I know that I got her off. So there we go. That's the plus. Okay, so this is kind of weird. I got a message from my favorite Dirty Talking listener in Minnesota who listened to my episode about Red when I had talked about making soup. And he was wondering what kind of soup I had made.

Well, that particular day, I just made a basic vegetable, chicken, rice, heavy on the broth soup. It was delicious. And it was a lot of fun to sit and talk to Red over a bowl of soup and enjoy it. But I would consider myself an amateur chef. I would consider myself to be somebody who really enjoys playing with flavor, who really enjoys being a foodie about this stuff. So if you're ever interested in a dish that I've talked about, please don't hesitate to reach out to me and I will tell you, I'll give you the recipe.

Because it is one of those things that I am actually learning to write these recipes down and make them part of a book, part of an actual book, a lasting remnant of me to my children, because for me, cooking is one of my love languages. The yummy noises are a reward for a job well done. That shared with me makes me feel validated. And that's a dumb thing to want. That's a dumb thing to say, but it's true. It's what it feels like. It feels very validating to hear someone appreciate something that you put some time and effort into, some artistry into, if you will. Because not everybody can cook.

Not everybody, I mean, everybody can cook, but not everybody is passionate and wants to do this. So some people are just doing it to fulfill, you know, sustenance require and legal requirements to feed the family. But some people are actually in their kitchens enjoying the art of it. And I feel like I'm one of those people. I enjoy the art of making food. I am horrible at plating. So I'm not actually talking about plating beautiful food. What I'm talking about is making food so good, you want to slap your mama. Like, ugh, so good.

So that's part of my journey right now is that because I am currently working on this podcast and doing this whole domestic thing, because I'm not being pulled out to go to a nine to five job, I am finding a lot more time in my kitchen to develop things like my soup recipes and my, um, my bread making skills and a lot of things that I wanted to do, but never took the time. I learned how to make a raspberry mousse that is so flipping good. But then I found out my husband doesn't like mousse. He'd rather just have the raspberry Cooley. I'm like, what is happening right now?

But there's a lot that I'm learning about myself through this journey, through the not working on somebody else's grind. I'm learning a lot about who I am and what I love and the things I want to keep doing and the things I want to keep being part of. It is amazing to me that I have this opportunity. Mind you, I'm still looking. Okay, so let's talk about why this party ended so abruptly.

This party ended so abruptly because uh somebody od'd there was a situation and the they were screaming for narcan and because of the fact that this host both of these uh the people who own the home work in a profession that gave them access to the Narcan. They had that available. But after that, it was going to be, they were going to have to call an ambulance. This person needed to go to the hospital. This person needed to go and get help.

So they were calling people to come, which meant that if we wanted to be in a police report we could stay but if we didn't want to be in a police report we should probably go so my husband and I were probably one of the very first people to pack up and just get the hell out because my husband and I are not there for drama I really hope that this person like I don't know the the status of what happened I don't know anything about it because um at some point it's not my business anymore um he was getting the help that person was getting the help that they needed and there was nothing I could do.

So we got out of the way. That is, to me, a very hard one. It's rough. Because when you are in these situations, you're not just you, You're part of a community. And that community, whatever you want to say about it, is your tribe. And when you do something that calls attention to the tribe and brings people that don't understand us into the mix. It's one of those things where it puts some negative emotion on the ability to trust what's happening. So I don't know if we're going to go back to this party.

Um, I would like to see these people again, but I'm not entirely sure if we're going to do that. And the reason that I say that is because it is hard and fast. My husband and I are not looking for dramatics. We're not looking for that level of party. We're not looking for alteration. We're looking for a night that we can fully remember, fully enjoy, fully go back and relive. that's our that's our goal And so being put in a position where we're now on somebody's radar is not something we want, not something we want to be a part of. And being on the radar is kind of opposite.

Because a lot of what my podcast is about is about shining a light on how completely fucking normal swingers are, how completely fucking okay it is to be a swinger, to enjoy sex, to enjoy ethical non-monogamy, to enjoy this, quote unquote, alternative sexual lifestyle. Because it's not as alternative as people seem to think it is.

It's really just people enjoying sex, people enjoying people having sex, people enjoying the sexual tension and atmosphere of sex um so when it comes down to it when you're at these parties and you're going for alteration it makes it so that now people who don't understand the lifestyle are allowed to scrutinize it, are allowed to pass judgment on it without any information other than the fact that the word swinger was used, or sex party, or something along those lines.

People who don't understand the lifestyle are going to have moments, are going to have questions, are going to have aspersions. and part of what I really want is for there to be some clarity that these are normal people who enjoy sex and want to do, I want to get some strange ethically in full view of their partner in full view of so that there's no secrets because when there's secrets you put your make yourself vulnerable secrets make you. Secrets are something that people can use against you.

And so the problem is, is that because of the fact that this lifestyle is very, um, very judged by the media and very judged by the world around, it makes it hard for everybody to live their life as loudly as I do. Because I'll be frank with you, everybody knows the only people who don't are probably blood related. And even some of them are probably in the know. not in the no, no, but like in the know, they know what's going on in my life because I'm not great at keeping secrets. I'm not great at hiding who I am. I'm living my life loudly because of the fact that I have that freedom.

Now, does everybody have that freedom? No, especially not in my area. In my area, there's a lot of people who cannot fully participate in this lifestyle visually, like they can't be seen doing, having, being, because of the fact that their livelihoods depend on them not being here, not being seen, not being. So when something happens like this incident, it puts a spotlight on people who don't necessarily want to be spotlighted. so that being said, I really hope this person is fine. And I really hope that they get, you know, that they got help, and that everything worked out.

But when you're going to these parties think about the alteration of you and what that does to your ability to consent and what that does to put your community at risk. That is the only thing I'm going to say about it because your business, but there's other people at risk when you have anything you want to talk to me about please don't hesitate to reach out to me at pineapplepinuppod at gmail.com. You can also catch me on any of my socials that are listed in the show's description. I'll see you next time.