Anticipation: on the Cusp of Splash

Transcript

welcome to the pineapple pinup the hot wife life podcast on today's podcast i'm talking about splash mocha which is coming up i mean tomorrow i am jumping on the airplane and we are going I am very fucking excited. Okay, one thing that it is vitally important for anybody to know is that traveling while married is still rough. Okay. Traveling while married is hard even without the lifestyle. Okay. Even with all the communication tools that we know, all the communication tools that we have, Traveling while married is hard even without the lifestyle, okay?

Even with all the communication tools that we know, all the communication tools that we have, traveling while married is still going to be conflict. It's going to be, well, I don't know where the suitcase got left. Well, why are you packing that? What do you mean stay on theme? Like there's going to be a lot of conflict because it's a high stress time. And whether we like it or not, marriage and stress and all of these things kind of go hand in hand because you choose every day to be with this person and the conflict is born naturally from being human.

I am doing my very level best to mitigate it, but in addition to having my... I just got over Christmas stress and now we're doing this stress. And Christmas was fucking awesome. Christmas was incredible. I got to cook and it was, it was everything I dreamed of. It was, everything turned out exactly as I wanted it to. I was happy. I was a happy chef. And I was, you know, there, there are always things that are going to go wrong. And there are things that I didn't care about that did go wrong. And it was fine. Everything was good. And Christmas itself was really beautiful.

When you have grown children, it's nice to have them come over and feed them breakfast and do all the things that you've always done for them on Christmas since the time that they were ye high and believed in Santa. I am fucking jazzed about how my Christmas went. My Christmas was incredibly, incredibly drama-free, and I was very excited and very happy about it. So now that's gone, and all of the hours and hours on my feet cooking are completed. And now it's time for me to gear up for this traveling thing. And me and travel are, I'm good at it, but I'm also really, really bad at it.

I'm good at packing. I'm good at getting a lot into a little bit of storage area, but I'm also somebody who likes to overpack. I like to have too many things, too many options to wear. And it makes my husband a little bit crazy. It makes my husband a little bit crazy because he's like, why in the world do you need for three days, seven pairs of pants? Why in the world do you need for X 12? You know, it's one of those things. It's one of those things where my brain works differently than my husband's. And so therefore there's inherent conflict there.

And mostly it's just giving each other space to say, this is what I need. And there's no reason why I can't do it my way while you do it your way. And if it's frustrating for you to watch me, then, you know, kind of don't watch me. We have other projects we need to get complete before we go. And so there's some conflict around that too. So just because you're in the lifestyle, just because you are communicating probably better than you ever have does not mitigate being human. Being human is still going to be the number one thing that is a conflict between a husband and a wife.

Now, that being said, Splash Mocha. Oh my God, I'm so fucking excited. I am so excited about going to Splash Mocha. I can't even begin to tell you. This is the first time I've ever done a full legitimate hot wife takeover. It's not mine, obviously. It's just something I'm attending, but I have never been to a hot wife takeover. The ones that I've been to is a swinger takeover, a kink takeover. And so now I'm kind of super interested in figuring out how these all differ. Because the expectations when you go to each individual type of event differ.

It's different than, you know, swing ring is different than hot wifing and hot wifing is different than kink. Even though we're all, you know, bundled in the same basket, there's differences. And so because of that, I am super fucking excited to go to this type of an event, which is kind of what I would consider home base for me. It's something I am. This is how I do. This is what I do. This is how I live my life. This is this is the thing that I actually seek out on a daily basis.

So the fact that I'm going to be there with so many like minded individuals who are also all there for the mess and the sex and the fucking and the, like, I'm beyond excited. I am beyond anything that I could put into words.

I want to very much go take up space and make a mess and be a hot wife in an environment where that is celebrated in an environment where there's no there's no judgment it's just and also know that there is plenty to go around there's not a starvation of resources so there's no need for me to be um in my feels i am very much looking forward to finding that conglomeration of all things that is this and the party that it's going to create. I am so flippin' excited. I can't even put it into words.

And lately, my entire life has been about, even Christmas was fucking about packing for this sojourn. Even the presents that I got for my husband are going in the suitcase for our trip. A lot of the things that my husband got me are going into the suitcase for this trip. I am excited to have planned something, to have, to see it all the way to fruition. And I can't even wait. And the last time my husband and I celebrated on a New Year's Eve, neither one of us were together because he and I are both anti New Year's Eve and drunk driving.

We're just, we can't do it because of the fact that we have always had responsibilities to come home to and we weren't, we didn't feel safe being out on the roads. He and I have never really gone out for New Year's Eve. We've never really celebrated the beginning of a new year together in a celebratory manner. Mostly it's like, well, it's late. Let's go to bed next morning. Happy New Year. We're not really, we're not, we haven't been big celebrators. And for the first time in our marriage, we're going to be at a celebration on New Year's Eve.

And it's not something that we have to shy away from because of the fact that we will be in the hotel and there's no way to, for the danger to, yay. So there's a lot about this particular event, this particular time of year, this particular thing that is breaking a whole lot of barriers for me. And I am so ready. I am ready and at the same time terrified and at the same time so excited and at the same time super wet. I mean, I'm all in the feels, all in there. And I can't fucking wait.

It's going to be whatever it is, is everything I i hoped it would be if that makes any sense to anybody whatever comes of this whatever this takes on i am excited for the opportunity to go and that's what i want that's where i want to be that's where i want to live in that mind space great gratitude gratitude for this opportunityitude for a plethora of dick that's going to fucking be there. Jesus Christ. I'm like candy shop girl. I am going and I am going to dine on all the candy I can get my hands on and I don't fucking care. I don't care if that makes me a slut.

I don't care because that's what I want to be. I want to be that slut. And this is going to be something that I'm sharing not only with my husband, but with my friend Jeff. And knowing that I have people who are going to be able to recount the memories with me, who are going to be able to talk about the experience and have it live for a long time, these memories. Because my thing is, is that a memory, and I really thought about this on Christmas, a memory is something that is best shared.

When you are together and you are remembering moments from the past, sharing them with others, sharing a mutual memory brings so much fondness and laughter and joy. So I'm glad that I'm going to have somebody who can talk about these experiences with me and who is going to be able to recount things that happened and remind me of things that I forgot about and have it be more than just my husband. Because sometimes my husband and his reminiscent gene are absent. But at the same time, there are moments when his reminiscent gene is fully in effect and it's usually during the reclamation.

And I say that because that is his favorite thing to do. Recount the things, the slutty ass things that happened and bring them back into a relationship in that moment. I like the whole idea of having dinner and talking to people about, you know, my gosh, remember when we went to Orlando and we saw whatever it is we're going to see. God, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to find out what we're going to see. I'm so excited to find out what we're going to be part of, what we're going to be party to. And that can't be, my goodness, I just, I can't even, I can't, I can't, can't right now.

all right so we are as you know as you may be aware i am gearing up for splash and one of the things that i did to gear up for splash was to go and get tested because it's fucking important guys guys, okay? It's important to get tested because it's your health. It's other people's health. It's important. And if anything happens at this particular event, I want to be able to give people the reassurance of my testing.

And I took my tests and I have not had sex outside my marriage since, which is hard for me because one of the things that I truly love about my marriage is that I get to have sex all the time with whomever I want, and my husband encourages it. So this has been kind of a dry spell for me, and that's okay. I mean, everybody needs a dry spell because it brings you more anticipation when the dry spell is about to end. It brings you all of that delicious anticipation that is seriously coursing through my body like a fucking freight train right now.

I am so fucking juiced up for this adventure, And there's nothing about it that isn't that isn't tickling every sensation in my body. I am grateful to have this opportunity and I am grateful to be sharing this opportunity with my husband and with Jeff. So for that reason, I'm glad that I got tested. I'm glad that I went and found out that everything's okay with me and that I have, I am not going to infect anyone with anything and everything is going to be good. And that's something that I think that each one of us in the lifestyle owes it to everybody to be able to say.

If you have something and you can protect yourself or you can protect others or you can get it all cleared up, then at least knowing is half the battle. And then from there, you can take it however you need to. I'm just glad that I have, I feel like an adult. I feel like I'm doing this the responsible way. And I feel like I don't need to worry about what, there's certain things that I don't need to worry about being a lascivious slut, a total whore, because I have done the grown up work beforehand.

I have made sure that I am completely in the zone to be able to appreciate it and not have anything worry me from a standpoint of spreading something to other people. So I'm good. I'm checked. I'm there. And it is important. Now, a lot of times people do this. They'll go and they'll take a test a few weeks before an event and then stay out of playing for that period of time. Then when they show up, they know that they're clean. It's just the responsible thing to do. However, my libido has been like, let's go.

Here we are on the packing day and i'm like let's go and it's exciting though it's exciting to deny yourself something so that when you finally get it back it's so much sweeter and mind you when i say that i'm not getting any i'm still having regular sex with my husband so i think i need to re-evaluate I don sex is. I think sex is, doesn't matter. Let's not get into it. So I'm tested. I have, I'm packing. I'm getting my house ready for us to go.

And my list of adult responsibilities is going to be done by the time I leave here tomorrow so I can get on the plane and not have a single adult responsibility to take care of. I'm going to go and be completely free. I'm going to go and be completely free of my responsibilities. Okay. Here's the deal. I am working on my communication and my husband has been helping me with my communication a lot and trying to get me to focus on communicating what it is that I want.

And one of the things that recently happened is he listened to an episode of my other podcast, Swinger Hot Wife Life Perspectives, and that I do with Drew and Hopeful. And he said that in that particular episode about fantasies, I had not talked about mine. I'd obfuscated. I had misdirected. I had not done the thing that I am supposed to do, which is be honest. And I don't think I was dishonest.

I think that it's really hard for me to want things and talk about wanting things because it seems fucking greedy because I don't know if you know this or not but I get a lot of things from my marriage from my relationship i get so many things that it's an embarrassment of riches really is hashtag hot wife problems it is my life like it's hard to imagine my life getting better than it is and that is even though you know there's always stress and everything that. But my sex life is pretty fucking awesome.

And I like that my sex life is all about me and my husband and our relationship and this other thing that we do. And I love that. But there are fantasies, of course, because I'm a fucking human. I'm a woman who grew up in the time of mom porn. And I have always had these, you know, scenarios that I use at times to make me wet when I need to. So I'm going to be honest now and I'm going to tell you one particular fantasy.

And the reason I'm going to tell you this particular fantasy is because of the fact that I want to show you that just because you're having a lot of sex doesn't mean that all of it is fulfilling every single fantasy you have. You're still going to dream, even if you're getting a lot. You're still going to dream. You're still going to desire things. And as things go on and as things progress, things might move in that direction if you're open and honest about that desire. So here goes. And yes, I am delaying this because it is a little bit personal. Okay.

I don't know if I've mentioned it or not, but fantasies come from something, come from something that you are trying to deal with. Now, take with this, take that with a grain of salt when I tell you this fantasy okay so my fantasy is I come in and the man is, and it doesn't have to be my husband. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular. It's this man is sitting there and I have done something wrong. And he tells me, you know that you've done something wrong and you need to be punished for that.

And then he either takes me over his lap, depending on where this is taking place, or puts me over the side of the bed. And then he begins to spank me. Now, I am not looking to be hurt. That is not what this fantasy is about. This fantasy is about making amends for things that I have done. This fantasy is about getting, because when you live, well, nevermind. I'm not going to get into the psychology of it right this second. I'm going to finish the fucking fantasy because that is my biggest hurdle right now. Okay.

So he spanks me and it starts off pretty softly and then it builds and it builds and it builds. And here's the thing about when you build it, if you build it, she will come. If you just go straight for pain, she's probably going to react poorly. But if you build it softly and then build up to pain, that pain is going to morph itself into pleasure and it is going to be unimaginable pleasure for her. So this is why this is one of those things that I really am interested in doing for that reason. He spanks me and builds it.

And then when he's done, he stands me back up and I have to tell him what I did wrong and how I'm going to make up for it. And then I give him a blowjob. And that's my fantasy. That right there. Because, all right, so now I'm going to get into the psychology of it. Okay. So when you are doing things that are incredibly, like, I am incredibly fucking blessed to be living this life with my husband. Incredibly fucking blessed. And I can't say that enough times. I am living a great life. I'm living a great life, me and my husband together.

And I don't feel like I'm breaking my marriage vows because I'm doing it with him and all this other stuff but it comes down to I am experiencing things that I have been told all my life are not good I have been told all my life that I should not want them so I am experiencing these things while there is a lot of guilt okay So not a lot of guilt, because I'll be frank with you, the guilt rarely ever raises its ugly head, but occasionally it does. And this fantasy is about that.

This fantasy is about taking the punishment for enjoying the thing that I am enjoying so immensely, that I was told I should not enjoy. And I am taking that and I am making my amends. I am relieving my guilt, which anybody who comes from a religious background knows is part of the process. You can't be forgiven unless you have paid a penance. So for me, that's kind of what that is. It is the removal of guilt for the pleasure I have received. And I think the more I look at it, the more I skirt around it.

I know that what I'm trying to do is absolve myself of these quote-unquote lingering feelings of shame and guilt, and I'm trying to make amends for them. But here's the deal. I don't need to. That's why it's a fantasy. It's something I'm using to highlight those emotions that I haven't quite 100% dealt with, done away with, and I'm using it to increase my pleasure, which in some circles could be considered even more damning. But I don't, I'm not, I'm not shying away from the emotions that are in there. I'm not shying away from all of these things.

Because when you take it, when you take these moments and you live in them, live in these moments the residual emotions are just part and parcel with the full gamut of human existence it's what's gotten us here it's what's kept our race, like kept our human, humanoids alive for generations. So I like the fact that I use those wallowy emotions to create something that makes me even hornier and makes me even more, and it makes me feel a little bit more depraved. And I fucking love that. I love that fact, the fact that I can climb height after height after height.

I'm not trying to disregard the guilt that people feel, But I'm also trying, I don't feel like I need to dwell in it. So I use this fantasy to sort of deal with it. And I know that if I had this fantasy come true, it would do all sorts of things inside of my brain that would take me somewhere else possibly. And I'm not 100% sure where I would go. And I'm not 100% sure that I want to see where that goes. But at the same time, kind of a little bit. Because I don't know that fantasy fulfillment is what it's about. Sometimes fantasies are just great being fantasies.

And I may be saying this because I'm afraid of getting spanked. I haven't been spanked for a very long time. And getting slapped on the ass is not a spanking. I'm sorry, boys, but it's not. If you want to spank somebody, it needs to be more than a couple slaps while your fucking balls deep, okay? A spanking is a ritualized thing. It is a full commitment to an actual punishment for behavior and knowing what you're punishing them for.

Now, I live my entire life being a brat, so the number of sins that I've racked up just by speaking for the day is probably enough to get me punished, but not the point. But here's the thing. Having a clear and concise message of this is what you're being punished for. This is what you have done wrong. This is how I expect your apology to be delivered. And this is you're going to have to take these consequences for your actions, is to me incredibly hot. Don't ask me why.

Don't ask me to put it into words, but just knowing physiologically what happens, especially if you build the spanking correctly. If you build the spanking with light slaps, warming up the skin, building it a little bit at a time until eventually you are pounding the fuck out of that ass, it makes it so that it is a endorphin-inducing ride into sub space. And that's obviously something that somebody who has dreamed of, fantasized about being a sub is always searching for. Always searching for that dopamine endorphin hit followed by that crash where somebody gets to hold me through it.

I'm sorry. It's just like, I know I'm mixing a lot of genres here, but I don't care if it's my fucking fantasy, like it or not. Thank you so much for joining me today. And hopefully, fingers crossed, I will be putting up small tidbits throughout my stay at Splash Mocha. That's my goal anyway. But last time I had that goal, I forgot all my equipment and it didn't work. So here we go. Second try should be better. I'll see you next time.