Show notes
interview with my husband
Transcript
I really hope this works because today we have a special guest, my husband. Hello. You guys are actually going to get to hear him speak. We are getting ready for a party. The party is going to start in, what, an hour? Yep. Okay, so two hours. Okay, so we're about to start two hours from now. And today was prep, a lot of prep. We, actually the prep has been going on for a while. We've gotten pretty good at this. We got a kit. We got like a murder kit, except it's for parties. Okay, so we, in our kit, what do we have?
um curtains, disposable cheap ones to go under the mattresses so the liquids that leak don't go into the mattress and you get fined. Very important. We got a couple of Bluetooth speakers, one for each room. We found fancy ones that link together so you don't have to have two cell phones to power the two speakers. Lube. Lots of lube. We got two giant bottles. Industrial lube. The little bottles tend to walk away but the big bottles don't. Yeah. So we have and then we have condoms and then we also have the lights. Yes. Those were good to find the black Thank you.
to walk away but the big bottles don't yeah so we have and then we have condoms and then we also have the lights yes so those were good to find the black lights we found a set of four black lights everybody looks better in black light everything glows better yes um what also in there we have uh trash bags because it's very important clean up after yourselves we bring extra towels extra towels for sure hotel towels run out quickly you want to have padding between you and the mattress exactly um but all in all i think that's oh we just bought some things to go in it we bought the wipes yeah so that we could do a quick so that people could do a quick easy cleanup in between yeah um but so far we're like we brought some snacks and stuff but yeah and now we're here and we're all set up and we had a pre-typed message that we sent out to everybody any every one of our attendees they basically went over the where the party was the room number of the party and all of the rules for the party yes it just made it a little bit more efficient copy and paste copy and paste happy days so um we are expecting.
Should be a pretty heavy turnout. 28 to 34 people. Depending. Depending if everybody shows that actually confirmed. Nice. So we should have a good turnout.
Eight women to, what is that, 24 20 22 to 24 men so that should be good we have a special suite that we're holding it out that's like a two-room suite with a kitchen yes it's got a living room dining room kitchen area so that there's a place where people don't have to play or they're not in the play there are two bathrooms and a total of three beds and worst case scenario the um the sofa pulls out into a bed as well so if things get really wild go over the edge exactly because that's the best part about being a girl you can just bend over something so um everybody has a few questions that they kind of want to know from you okay um how long did it take you to convince me to do this like one minute oh no we talked about it for a while before i finally agreed several several months several months where we were talking seriously about it um where i actually expressed my um i expressed my actual fantasy versus the play we were doing and the fact that it could be real um and then uh basically went from there and it was a couple months of saying this is what I want and disbelief.
Oh, skepticism. Yeah. Let's not say disbelief. Let's just say skepticism. Okay. Okay. So what has been your takeaway from all of this? What has been the highlights for you? All of it, honestly. It's extremely exciting. It's something I didn't even know I would like the way I liked it.
Um, when we had dabbled before at parties like um it i was more scared and with my new found we only live once thing i kind of let down my guard and and just embraced it and um Um, and it's been great so um i think that you're getting um in a just sexual way very satisfied and and getting to have a lot of fun and adventures it's um i'm getting satisfied i still get to have all the same amount of time that we've always had and made for each other um our fantasies even though we're out actually living a lot of them we still have fantasies in bed every time we talk nothing has gotten more boring or oh i'm just having sex with you this time or anything like that um all the things that i was always afraid of is is has not been yeah and uh as a matter of fact i think our sex has gotten better yeah because we talk so much more absolutely and we say things so much more boldly yeah it was always hooded before it was always like part of the fantasy you don't want to turn anybody off um so that's always been you know in in parts of sex or for both of us right um you know you had a lot of things you were into that for a long time i didn't have any idea and this was not even in the realm of a possibility for a long time even when we went you know to the club or to the hotel takeover party and things like that it still was just the slightest little dabble and you know we would message somebody and then giggle and then nothing yeah and then you know my side backed out of it and then giggle.
And then, yeah. And then, you know, my side backed out of it. And then, you know, I voiced concerns and you ran, you ran away once, once I voiced any concern at all.
exactly the last time because it wasn't worth it wasn't worth the relationship to do this versus lose a marriage and family and the whole deal so but now that we've kind of gone back and my life changes and my position in life have changed that's that was what 15 years ago almost it was yeah we were in late 30s i think and it's a lot different now that I'm in my fifties and, and you're at least that, um, but it's a lot different now that I'm in my fifties and, and you're at least that, but it's a lot different.
It's a lot different to have a different perspective in life that we've done the just get along to get the kids through and, you know, you don't want to make waves or do anything too risque and we did all that the kids have grown and moved out and eventually they'll stop using all our money and um but they've they moved and and became adults and so that allowed us to have our adult time and i think we're going in full force and and it's been great it's been great i agree yeah it doesn't mean we don't have issues but that's true but we've uh we work through them and go from there and we always have said that no matter what there is an absolute stop button to the whole of this.
It would go away in a moment's notice if it meant the relationship. And that's, you know, at least until we settle our relationship issues at that point, it would be full stop.
And with that comfort mixed with, you know, you only live once, I think it's gone well and we've taken a couple of breaks yeah like not long breaks i mean a couple of months here a month there yeah but we took those breaks for the health of our marriage for the health of ourselves yeah for the physical health for the physical health yeah that was a great thing it's just it's just part of life so exactly But it's still the fantasy.
I mean, it's just part of life but it's still the fantasy it is not a lie the only porn that I've watched in probably over a year now has been porn of you but but that's that's what I you know that's what I masturbate to that's what that's what is my fantasy is what's happening so um and get to watch that back and all that it's it's been I mean obviously I'm getting a lot out of it and I believe I am. Yeah. And the other thing that this has really done for us is it's gotten us out of a rut. Because for a very long time, the only thing we ever did was sit on the couch and watch TV.
This is part two of the whole thing is I made a conscious decision that I was tired of what we what we were doing yeah we we we stayed home we really dedicated ourselves to raising children raising children and doing all that that bullshit and and neglected ourselves absolutely and our relationship yeah well i mean my relationship did pretty well but but i mean it was definitely with accommodation for each other in a lot of ways um to make the peace and keep the peace and we still had a pretty good relationship i mean we still were sexually active and and like to see each other generally um but but we just didn't go out we just didn't go out at all and we didn't foster a lot of you and me time yeah we fostered a lot of together time but it wasn't you and me time absolutely so ever since the adjustment in your attitude and your only live once philosophy.
We have become more, we've become more of a team, I feel like. I feel like we really listen to one another and really hear each other.
And there are still conflicts, obviously, because it's a fricking marriage, not a, and I love the fact that our relationship has bloomed in such a way that we are experiencing new things and finding new ways to be together and finding new ways to connect absolutely absolutely we are discussing um traveling because we would i would really love to travel and maybe find some lifestyle things outside of our area um looking at resorts and looking at you know clubs that maybe we could go to for a guest night or something like that we're looking for hotel takeovers hotel takeovers i'm so excited about there's one coming up in february that we're actually signed up for and i'm very excited to find out how that's going to go yeah because that would be amazing absolutely we could find those up and down the eastern seaboard once a month or once every other month it's six a year if we can find them um i i i like that idea because although i am um i'm a lawyer i'm um more on the stag side in the and even though we were I'll see you next time.
Because although I am a lawyer, I'm more on the stagged side, and even though we're not going to play, it's still a very energized area in the ones we went to in the past. Oh, absolutely. Because everybody gets to kind of let their hair down. You don't have to worry about driving home. You don't have – everybody there is full of sexual energy. Absolutely. And it's not, you know, packed in a hotel room. And, and I very, very, I really think it's a, it'll be a, another level for me. I'm kind of excited about that. I'd love to see, like, I'm so curious about how it all works.
And And I'm so curious about how it all works and I'm so curious about how people find their way into the lifestyle. I mean, I know how we found our way into the lifestyle, but I find it very interesting how other people get into the lifestyle and especially people who don't play together with their partner.
That's been kind of popular though yeah and so it's very interesting to me to figure out how did you get to this point together you know it's very interesting we just talked about that the other day because there's so many angles to it because for us um we talked about the fact that i was okay with you playing before I got home from work or um whatever the case was with people that I know and I'm comfortable with so it's not um you're safe and I have comfort in your safety because at the end of the day that is this thing and this thing that's my job um and it's something that I take seriously that you're cared for.
But if it's somebody that we're comfortable with, we were talking about that just the other day that just yesterday, last night, that if you, you know, found somebody to play with, and as somebody you are comfortable with, and we're comfortable with, that's exciting to me.
So, you know, we thought when we were first thing and you know kind of looking at that we were like well that must be everybody's thing but we heard from that the um the other person that was at the party the night that they don't even talk about it at all exactly i know it was um but it's it's really cool to see all the different people's perspectives and how they end up at the same place. They end up at the same destination, but it's just different ways to get there and different things. Different rules that are important. Absolutely.
And it just points out more that the rules are what it's all about at the end of the day. Absolutely.
it's all about whatever your own family dynamic rules are um within your relationship rules right to go in and play outside and the fact that even though there are rules that regular society think you're crazy to say you can just fuck you know 10 guys tonight and i'm still good with it but as long as that's our rule it still fosters i think that same um we're a team yeah so if our yeah if our marriage contract is you know one man one woman with the lights off you know missionary then that's But that's our rule that's our rules and as long as those rules are followed they still have the same comfort as a team together and if your rules are you know gang bangs are us then then let's do it you know because you follow the rules i follow the rules i did my part you did your part and we still have our time and the great the great thing about it is that our rules have adapted throughout time throughout the course of our marriage because when we were first married it was all one man one woman not through a sheet but you know we were this was not even part of the the vocabulary for us yeah it wasn't it was but we were we are a little bit spicier than one man one woman forever absolutely you know it's been toys you know it's been a lot of toys in our world a lot of toys in our world over the years it's been a lot of that and uh i mean uh the the excitement of toy shopping most people don't even talk about it but if you can toy shop together and show each other things and holy shit how is that gonna fit and you know i mean those type of things those conversations are extremely spicy um and i don't think we've ever toy shopped and not ended up going upstairs and you know fucking for 45 minutes i don't think that's ever not been part of toy shopping absolutely um and then you have the use of the toys and the you know laying toys out for when somebody comes home and having them on the bed you know there's all sorts of things that just build in so we've we started from there and we came a long way absolutely we came a long way but we're still heavily into toys nothing has changed like i don't think our life has changed it's's just enhanced.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. It's our fantasies are a little bit, little bit spicier and specific. They're real. And their names. Yeah. These are their actual people's names, you know? And yeah, I mean, those are, those have been very, very good additives. And that's what this is all supposed to be, is an enhancement of your relationship. This is supposed to be a sweetener, like you say. And it's a bag of sugar so far. Yeah. So that it's been incredible. I agree. Um, all right.
So what are the, what are the things that you have found to be not as good as you expected them to be the messaging trying not to have dead air um i i don't found any of it actually off-putting when we first started figuring out the way we do things um there were some rough times where with flakes and fakes yeah like yeah and there was there was some tough times with that but it was just us learning our own game absolutely i mean we we uh you had your social your first single you know by yourself date that kind of kicked it off which started from a session in the spa right um i said i can make it happen you know and i was talking about the fantasy and you saying I can really make it happen and and you did um it went from that and we we played down at the glory holes and they uh and that became very I mean that was a thing but then we evolved into we didn't like it that much right but but that was the first time you had somebody somebody actually penetrate you in front of me which we were very concerned about right as a as a myself individually was very concerned about this has all been very scary but just more of I don't give a fuck I'm gonna try it right I'm tired of holding back but it was very scary i mean for any guys that have are sitting there now like what if i you know what if i think negatively of her after and you know okay great it was sexy but what if i don't feel good about being with this person after for us it worked but but it's definitely a real thing it's definitely a feeling but we went and experienced it and it was amazing um i think that's a phenomenal way to kind of break the ice is that type of glory hole situation absolutely because it shows it starts it started off very just my mouth very much just absolutely he watched me give blowjobs for it was like through the glory holes we did that like two trips two times and then the third trip and then that was the theater remember we went on the couch and and i used toy on you in front of um a room full of people absolutely and they were uh that was like i've never seen it was like literally walking dead coming up to us with except with cocks out like oh touch me it was kind of freaky yeah but we you know we had we had figured out what ours was so it went through that phase and i think on that same trip we then went to the glory holes and the and that that was uh there's a room in the back of the theater that we went yeah well that was yeah that was after so we went to the glory holes and the glory holes there was a lot of gay activity happening um so they weren't really interested in you they were hoping that i was more ready to play um and so then we went back into the theater um and that was when the poor little man.
But he knew that we were going. He had messaged us because we had put it out there that we were going. So I think it's very important, especially if you're doing something like a glory hole, considering the type of crowd they usually get. Yes, bring your own toys. Bring your own accompaniments. Bring your own guys, because a lot of the glory hole is male-male. And it's kind of the, you don't know what's on the other side. Right. Kind of. At least you can fake yourself. And it's honestly because there's not a lot of women that are into that on just a random Wednesday evening. Right.
But that's fine. I mean, to each everyone's own, it was a very sexually charged area. But but the we had a couple different. And if you remember that the guy in the back of the theater room where the first time you actually had sex is we had hoped we were having sex a couple of in the private rooms in the glory hole, Erica, and it didn't work. One gave you oral and one you gave oral.
And it was amazing and it was a next level thing, but actual, you know, cock in vagina penetration, that didn't happen until that last time um and then we didn't go back again because we had such a the glory hole thing was was kind of off-putting yeah i was dressed to the freaking knives i couldn't get anyone yeah there was no cop coming there was no time and so when we went back to the theater that's where the straight guys were apparently and we went in these little back rooms that were so dark didn't see anything um but but that kind of added to it exactly um we were you know we were there so but it's gone all the way like from that progression and then we learned okay, okay, well, we didn't enjoy that.
We went to private meets, which given a choice, I would tell everybody, don't do private meets to start off until you get your game a little better. I would go to parties, but that's just worked for us.
And the reason that parties work for us is because of the fact that it was a target rich environment everybody knew what they were there for and we were able to from that find people who were very interested in actually meeting yes very much so they they um and i think it was very i'm not i not on your side, but to have people that were straight up into you where there was not even a question mark that sex together wasn't going to work. Like it was on the table. And we just, I don't know, maybe we're just too old.
We just were like, we don't have time for dating like like fuck that and we're weird because there's a lot of people that are like how could you you know how good and because i don't need it i don't need romance and yeah i need safety um comfort and that's why we adapted it's we may be missing out on people but it works really well for us in our area hotel parties literally happen every weekend and we found a party promoter that goes every other weekend so we're literally meeting 20 guys that all are at least interested in in what we're into um and then we if we find one that is actually you know that that is at least somewhat intriguing we go exactly and and we book another one um and private meets and and meeting even any any like our full-time bowl, it's been through, we tell people straight up, we don't meet one-on-one, and that's what our adaptation has been, and it's been awesome.
I cannot say enough how much the parties, okay, so I'm going to say something from my standpoint. When you are a BBW, when you are a big woman, there are a lot of fears that you're not going to be what they're looking for when they finally show up. So when we go to these parties and these men prove that they are attracted and want to play, it makes it so much easier to be comfortable in my own skin. Yeah.
And that's how actually that's why the parties worked in the beginning for me so well is because of the fact that I really felt safe in my attractiveness because there's always that fear I mean you're a woman and you grow up with a Barbie doll and you know what women are supposed to look like and that doesn't actually translate to the real world but it kind of you feel like it's translated to the world one way or the other. So and that the parties being able to give me access to people who were interested in fucking me and then they did fuck me and some of them were fucking awesome at it.
It gave me the opportunity to say hey let's see if we can't set something up with them and put it in a more casual, like in a more intimate setting a more less people, more details details the one on ones are where the filming comes from and uh and are you know all that and all that evolves from um but it's based on just having comfort if you're if you're not comfortable if you're not comfortable it's gonna suck absolutely um but you know you're also really not good at slow down it's not your thing so parties are real good for that as well because usually they say we're going to give the directions or the instructions at eight and by 802 you're naked and so you know that's kind of worked for you as well i'm on a mission mission.
Beth. We have little time. We're older. We want to go home. I need to get food. And we need to get fucked and food and home. And that's our quest for those evenings at the party. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And then fucked again. Fucked again. Exactly. Yes. We're getting ready for our party now. So we should go. We should go. Well, thank you for having me. Thank you for coming on. I really appreciate it. All right.
