Krazy Truth about Swinging.#351 Mixing Swingers and Vanillas at the Christmas party

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host with the most, Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and not really tired, it's just the room, Miss Amanda. Yeah, but I am tired. But she really is, so it's not really a lie. I'm always tired. And sometimes she's said over the last eight years, hey. Oh, I do. Yeah. For those of you on along at home, this is season eight, episode 351. We're quickly closing in on the end of the season. Are we going to have a drunken episode? No, I'm not drinking. That's true, he's not. I'm just drooping around. So we're going to have, we're closing in. We're probably two more shows out till the end of season eight. We haven't picked up for a ninth season. So there you go. We can keep her involved. So. Sorry, we've been delayed. It's been a little bit weird, but a bit crazy. It's going to get crazy over the next couple of weeks. So, you know. And we know it's Wednesday, but he was in a phone meeting, Zoom meeting thing yesterday. It was only supposed to last half hour and it lasted an hour. Yeah, I ran a scotch long. I'm like, yeah, you were talking to people. It's almost KWN time. So that explains a lot of why that all is. So a quick shout out to our sponsors, asnlifestylemagazine.com, motorbunny.com, discreetanddirtyco.com. Yeah. So there you go. We're the three. We've got a bunch of stuff in the works, a bunch of stuff coming around. Yes. A whole bunch of stuff. Actually, there's all kinds of big shit on the horizon. Some of it will probably hit before this month is over. Some of it will hit next month in the early part of 2026. Some of it will hit right after KWN. We're booking travel schedules out already. We've got dates, which is super fucking exciting because two of the three Exoticas that we go to are within fucking close range this year. We'll still be gone a week at a shot. But the nice thing is we'll only have a fucking, you know, six or eight hour drive home versus a fucking 28 hour drive home. So that's always exciting. Well, I mean, you can tell it. So we found out today that they're still having Chicago in April. In June, they're having Minneapolis. Yep. So that's nice and close. Woohoo, six hours, that'll be a nice drive home. In October, they have New Jersey. And then in December, they're moving it from D.C. to Miami. Which way to go that one because I'm busy. Yeah. Which is a lot better than frickin' Miami in July. June, July. Yeah, absolutely. So that's super exciting. It's also exciting because we're close to people that come to all of our stuff. It's just a change of pace is always cool. So it's exciting. A new city is exciting. We've done years, years, and years, Years ago, when we were like, wow, Castle wasn't very big yet. We... No, it was... I know we were still having KWN at the comfort inn. Yeah, we were only like the second... It was only the second year of KWN. There was a big convention that we went to in Minneapolis. But it was almost going to be snowy. No, it was over Easter weekend. Yeah, but it snowed. Why don't you remember it snowed when we left? Yes, I do remember it snowed when we left. So yeah, so we're super excited. No, we're super excited to be back and be there. So that's awesome. We're ready to fucking roll. So cool things with that. So all kinds of cool stuff. There's going to be more stuff coming out about Crazy Winter Nights because obviously that is 58 days or 57 days away. So we got all kinds of cool stuff coming out about that. So watch your emails, watch all your stuff. Shit's coming. Rooms are filling quick, which is always fun. I like that. Anyway, so yeah. We have to pay. Yeah, the less I just stress. There's one less gray hair. Yay. There you go. So that's kind of what's going on here. But yeah, end of the year, we did make the decision. We are doing a ninth season for sure, quite possibly a tenth. But we're to the point now with Crazy Truth About Swinging. It is a year-by-year review. Well, seriously. Well, no, no, because last year, was it last year or the year before? It was like, you know, I think we'll go to every other week. And then we didn't. And then we didn't. Yeah. But it was just like, and then we were going to do the other show with Bethann, honeybee, whatever, whatever she wants to go buy. And then that kind of. Well, things got busy. It's just been crazy. It just got busy, and then it got put on the back burner, and it just. Yeah, and then, but like every show, Every TV show, everything has a shelf life. And so our show is no different. We're a damn long-running podcast at this point in time. On Full Swap Radio, there's only one that's running longer. So it is. It's a year-by-year basis. And it's like, okay, so yeah, you know what? We're going to go ahead. We're going to do it. We're going to do it another year. And then we'll reevaluate from there. And so we'll keep trying to do it close to weekly show. Yeah, who knows? So the Bell's palsy is still in effect. Yes, we have to point that out. He's frustrated. It's going almost a month. No, it is officially tomorrow. Tomorrow's the third, right? Yep. Today's the third. Today is one month. And the last time we had it, by this point in time, you could hardly notice it. And it has not gotten any better at all. So... If he sounds funny, you know why. Yeah, driving me insane. Parties when I'm wearing my sunglasses, otherwise, true. So, yeah. So, nothing more fun than watching Cole blink like a fucking lizard. So, yeah, that's driving me insane. So, it's like, that's been, it's been less than motivated. Take off your sunglasses and demonstrate Cole blinking. So, there you go. So, yeah. We've gotten some of your taste back. I have gotten some of my taste back. All of it? Not all of it. Nope. All of it, okay. I'm not just, you know, based on how stuff squishes in your mouth. How about pain behind your ear? I don't know, because I take drugs now every night for it. So during the day, it doesn't hurt. You don't take them to grab a patent for it? I don't take it every night, but there's times. So, yeah, so it is what it is. A lot of people have things worse. It could be worse. It's just one of those things when you know that, you know, there's no guarantees that we'll ever go back. So it's just, it is what it is. No, and, you know, to get into a neurologist, you can't get in until March. There's nothing they can do. So it's just a matter of, But it's more of why it happened twice in one year. But next week you go to an infection control specialist. Yeah. But again, there's nothing they can do. So it's just a matter of just writing out. Give us more drugs to take the swelling down. Hope that this actually isn't permanent. Anyway, so make sure you come up and kiss me. No, he doesn't. It's still a soft kiss. Soft kiss one side doesn't work. Oh, shut up. Anyways, so. Does your tongue still work? Half of it. One half licks lower than the other. So, just, just, I don't know if that's true. I feel like, I feel like they show those goats. That's how I feel. Oh, my goodness. Like St. Bernard. I'm glad we're bearded. It actually works as a slobber cloth. So, there we go. Anyways, don't do that. Your face will freeze that way. I didn't believe him. Can't tell I jacked off too much. Anywho. So, uh, you know, it is, it is forever entertaining the swinging world and the challenges that, uh, become presented within, within the, the swinging world as a whole. And, and, you know, uh, the holiday season is without a doubt. I believe the holiday season is one of the biggest times of year where the swinger world and the real world collide. One, there's a shit ton of events around the country anymore around the holidays, right? And then plus you have all the vanilla stuff. And look, if you watch the page, like our full swap page, Pineapple 101, the amount of stories of shit that sounds like It started at a Christmas party. I mean, it's insane. But it really starts to collide. And part of the reason I think it collides is family and all that is a stressor in life. So the need to blow off steam is huge, which the hobby is lifestyle. That's a great way to do that. Darn it. Darn it. The challenge is when you're going out to meet and greet some lost steam. And there's Christmas parties all over. There's people that don't ever go to bars or whatever clubs that have a higher chance of being there or seeing them out because they may be there for a Christmas, office Christmas party or for a family or something along those lines. And I think that what's really funny is that there's a degree of additional stress that goes into the lifestyle during the holiday season. can be more intense, right? Because there's a degree of sexual intercourse with them, as far as that goes. Don't close that, put 200. Can be a sense of, you know, it's different than just your co-worker friend at work, because you might not sleep. Just type in 200? Say, I'd be willing to do 200. It's that you wouldn't necessarily, you know, fuck your co-worker at work. You might want to, but you might not necessarily. to do that. You know what I'm saying? But people want family, but their relationship is tight like a family situation. So how do you mix the two? How do you make sure you don't piss somebody off? Right? Because they thought their relationship would be as close enough. You can't send me a fucking Christmas card. You can fuck my wife, but you can't send me a Christmas card. You know, does that make sense? Right now, I've got her multitask. Fuck. So it's like, so it's thrown at everything. It's thrown completely off. Well, yes, because I can't type. Okay, so I have menopause brain. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I can't focus on more than one thing right now. Okay, awesome. There you go. Now go ahead and close that. Of course, I didn't type the G and shit because your keyboard doesn't have letters on them. Right. Come back to knowing your keyboard. What I want to know is, so what I was just saying, because you didn't hear a single word of what I said, dealing with the relationship and how to like Christmas parties at your house and things like that how do you deal with that how do you have or is it a challenge because I think for some people it is a challenge to like because there's so much shit going on it's hard to have multiple holiday get-togethers right so you want to have a get-together with friends in your neighborhood swing your friends that are close how do you deal with that how is that an added stressor because I think that's a very real thing um I'd be paranoid Okay, let me back up. It depends on if alcohol is being served. Okay. So if we're going to the party, pretty good fucking chances of booze. Okay. So I would be paranoid even though I would, if I would say, I would try to say, you know, vanillas will be present beyond your best behavior. But when people will start drinking, that gets thrown out the window sometimes. Okay. And I was hoping you'd say, wait a fish for it and got it. Got it. The thing is, is actually, that is, that's kind of a great point, because isn't it funny? We, think about this for a minute, think about if we reverse this scenario, okay? Instead of us giving the fucking warning slash lecture slash whatever to our swinger friends, what if we went to our vanilla friends and went, look, there's going to be swingers here, don't egg them on by acting like getting all dry. and doing something stupid. I mean, but seriously, think about this. We tell our swinger friends, and we've all done it, hey, we've been invited, hey, Vanilla's going to be here. We've had events, hey, there's going to be Vanilla's here. We all do it. We tell our swinger friends Vanilla, but what happens when the fucking neighbors get a little drunk, and all of a sudden you find out the true thing of how they want to hook up with somebody or whatever like that, and they're drunk, and next thing you know, shit starts going, and the swingers are going to be like, uh, Can I fuck him now? I mean, it's like, I mean, that would, you know. I'd put the, I'll have a Mrs. Claus too. And that becomes, or we read it and then tell him we'll have a Mrs. Claus. That becomes a huge, a huge challenge. How do you do that without offending? Is it kind of offensive as adults that we say to other adults, hey, I know we're really good friends and, you know, normally were naked, but don't do that this time. I mean, can't that be kind of offensive? Should it always be segregated? Should it always be, you know? It doesn't have to be, but you, but know that there's always a risk. Isn't that funny, though? That's one of the ironic parts of this whole thing, though, is why? Why is there, I mean, when you think about it, we talk about all the things in the lifestyle community, you know, discretion, blah, But the reality is, every single person that's going to listen to the show is going to think the exact same thing. We're all going to think that, you know, oh my God, this is the one of people that are going to do something. Are they saying how long they want it for? No, she's saying how long would it be for. Did they say when they wanted it to start? You're going to get to watch it through the multitask here because this is important during the Santa season. I'm pulling a Santa gig out while we go. And the thing is, shouldn't we, should we not, we shouldn't have to, like, we shouldn't have to worry about that. Should we? I mean, really? I mean, that's the thing that I think is interesting. And I think feelings can be hurt. Tell me truthfully, do you think that somebody could probably take and have their feelings a little harder to go, hey, you know, I love you, Jeff, and you're a great person, but, you know, don't drink too much, because then you start getting handsy. I mean, it's like... Did you schedule anything else for that day? Yes. The 19th when? She wants in the morning. Yeah, we can do in the morning. We're free in the morning. She's saying how long? She wants to know how long your quota's good for. How long my quota's good for? How long would the visit be? Like an hour, hour and a half. I had to be somewhere else at 1230. So... And I apologize. The thing is, is that... Would it be offensive to do that? And how do we not hurt feelings with people when we take and put all these stipulations? For us, we have to keep it segregated because our jobs. It sucks. I'm not a fan of having to keep it separate, but my vanilla friends would not understand the lifestyle. Agreed. That's true. Do you think, though, shouldn't we... Well, how do we get to the point that we make sure that the lifestyle understands how to be in that situation. We shouldn't have to worry about it. Well, I would assume if you're really going to invite people personally to your house, and it's going to be non-segregated group. Right. Then you would invite people that you trusted to be on their best behavior on both sides. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny, because seriously, I think that's part of the problem. My wife went to a party that was supposed to be vanilla, but turned sexual. She left because the rules were broken. Absolutely. Yeah. And Tina, yes, I can. She had hurting feelings, but that's never the intent. And that's just it. It's so funny about the holidays in general. When you think about, okay, take the Hallmark out, the Hallmark concept of the holidays out, Norman Rockwell concept of the holidays out, Folgers coffee commercials, Let's talk real about holidays for a second. Me and Swinger aren't going to come and make me coffee in the morning. Maybe it could. No, but I'm just talking not Swinger. Just take all that out. Holidays is a general rule. It's a breakdown of time. X percentage of the holiday is awesome. X percentage of every holiday sucks. And I don't give a fuck who you are. You can tell me I love spending unlimited time with my family. Bullshit. There's at some point in time during the holiday weekend we were like, if Uncle Fred does X again one more time, I'm going to kill the motherfucker. Because trust me, if it wasn't that way, every day would be a fucking holiday. There's a reason it's like, hey, it's so great when you get there and everybody's really fucking ready for the holiday to be over. So we already know that the reality of holidays is that part of them suck. So why then do we take and try to, I mean, have hurt feelings on families, right? This year, especially with all things going on in the world, you're going to have hurt families that are pissed at each other. You know, you're always going to have somebody at a family dinner that says something that everybody else just goes, are you fucking shitting me? I don't care that Aunt Edith takes her teeth out when she's jacking off. Why would you say that at the dinner table? Every fucking one. Did you read the article about the things? I don't know if it was true or not. I assume it's true, about the girl that crushed the Thanksgiving dinner, family dinner. It was an ex-girlfriend, and she comes barging in with pies and ends up into, she's flinging pies and shit, saying about how she slept with the brother and slept with his friend. Jerry Springer on crack. Uh-huh, pretty much. Well, look, I mean, if you look at most Jerry Springer, if you go back and look at most Jerry Springer episodes, you know what? The problem started at some sort of family gathering. I mean, it is what it is. So, with that being said, we know a family member is going to say something inappropriately. Why are we worried about a swinger saying something inappropriate? Don't we have the ability to go afterwards and go, I don't know, I was just as shocked as you were. Because honestly, if you think about it, when you have had parties that were mixed, you know, when you mix with vanillas and swingers, have you ever had a vanilla person say something that afterwards, you're like, you turn to the swingers and go, I'm so fucking sorry. I can't believe they said that. Un-fucking-believable. I mean, that's the reality of it. But I think it's interesting we try to keep it separate. Now, earlier the point was brought up, wife went to a party that was supposed to be vanilla, it turned sexual rules were broken. So that's the next challenge with this is, can you have, okay, so let's say you made a decision, vanilla party's on Friday, Swinger Party is on Saturday. Can you have a Swingers Over and not be sexual? You should be able to. You should be able to, but how do you convey that message? I mean, seriously, think about it. How do you convey that message to say, or do you want to? I mean, that becomes the next question. Is it really more of a challenge to have swingers and vanillas together because you really don't want to be with the swingers unless they're fucking involved. I hate how I say that. We're getting comments, too. I can't say. No, that's still that lady. You know what I mean? Every time my mom opens her mouth, I'm apologizing. Seriously, when you think about that for a second. Okay, I have small groups over at my house who are vanilla 90% of the time. Okay, so... I think you can if you make it like a game night. But again, it would have to be... Well, yeah. You convey the message that it's just game night. We're not playing. It's non-sexual. It's just hanging out. I think a majority of people can handle that. You're going to have the certain... What? We're not fucking? That. Or the gal that gets too drunk and gets handsy. You know, You're always going to have, or just a handsy person, because God knows you've been around sober people that have done that to you. Well, here's the thing. Ken, is it actually humanly possible to shoot a game of pool without somebody whipping their tits out to try to flutter somebody in a shot? I've seen it at house parties. I've seen it at bars. I've seen it at regular bars. Is it even possible? So, I mean, that becomes one of the challenges. How do you do that? And again, wouldn't that, couldn't a holiday party that was a mixed party, between vanillas and swingers. Couldn't that be a great way to have a get-together with your swinger friends? Let's say you really wanted one that was not sexual at all. There was no way it could lead to something sexual. Wouldn't that be a great way to do that? I mean, to me, that would be something as an avenue to kind of steer the party a little bit. I don't know. Some people are probably going, why would you want to have anything swinger that couldn't be sexual? But, I mean, honestly, sometimes over the holidays, you do just want to get together for a holiday thing. And you don't want all the fucking shit of, you know, having to be turned into a sex party. You know what I mean? Right. And so that would, to me, could be a great way to do it. Let's see what they, let's see what the fucking computer. I think it can be done with the right people. I don't whip my titties out. every time I play pool. Why not? I've done it a time or two. But, you know. I don't know if I've done it at a vanilla bar. Yes, you have. Sure have. I've seen you make out on a pool table. Sure have. I've seen you suck a dick at a vanilla bar. You've seen me fuck on a tailgate at a vanilla bar. We've done lots of things at vanilla bars. But I just... Couldn't it be... Couldn't the mixing group be a great way to fucking... to be able to have a true holiday party that's not sexual. I mean, granted, fucking on the Christmas tree is great, but let's face it, sometimes you're just fucking tired. You want to get together and, you know, call it good and just have fun without the expectations of sex and all that because it's a different crowd. Well, sometimes you just want to hang out and just talk. Yeah, I mean, but, you know, wouldn't it be, here's the other thing, wouldn't it be a great way to find out which one of your swinger friends can handle being in a vanilla environment. And I say that based upon the fact of, let's face it, we've all had that moment. We've been out somewhere with our family or vanilla situation, and we see those people. You know the ones. You know the people I'm talking about. The fucking swingers you see that normally at a swinger event, they're a ton of fun. They're nice people. whatever, but you see when you're just like, oh, fuck my life. Because, I mean, seriously, it's like, so then the entire time, and they, without a doubt, will always come over to say hi to you when you're with. How do you know them? Yeah, but you're, and the whole time they're there, you're sitting there acting nervous as well, totally giving away the fact that you're absolutely, like, uncomfortable because you don't know how they're going to respond. Wouldn't having a get-together, something like that, that's in-house, you could, where you could easily turn to your vanilla friends later and go, well, they had too much drink. I don't know what that's about. That's kind of weird. Yeah. Type scenario. Wouldn't it be a great way to see how that would work? Or would the fear factor of the slip up be too much? Yeah. So here's my other point with the fear factor, though. Is the fear factor that you're really afraid somebody's going to say something so outrageously? Oh, look, could that be part of it? Could it be an intro here that maybe we're showing more than what we actually realize we're showing and that people actually know more than we think they know? Yeah. Okay, you got to talk for a while. You're sitting there going, yeah, and stuff. You're like the back of saying, yeah, hey, oh, yeah. No. And do-wop. Anyways, I just think it's interesting. I mean, my previous work found out. It wasn't even at an event. It started at an event. Of course, I remember you telling HR's husband that, yeah, she's hot. He said it first. That's what's so funny, is that I know people had a clue, and then in turn, what happens is, you're vanilla fucking. friends have a clue and they're feeling out what they can say around you because they look 99% of people would love or at least they think they would love at least once to do what we do okay if you're married and you've been fucking the same person for two or three four five ten plus years whatever or been with the same person long term there's a little part in your fucking brain that wonders who won just one time little bit of an itch what it would be like to stick your dick in somebody different or have a different Dick stuck in you. Now, whether or not you could do it after that or that moment in time, but there's a little part of you that goes, because it's not just the swingers watching fucking porn or you'd be out of business. It's not just swingers. So, huh. And so they fish. And what happens is they get somebody like an idiot like me, right? Especially if I've been drinking. Well, here, look at pictures. And I made us jump on tables and stuff. But I haven't done that. But then in turn, you know, you start to give a little bit more away. I believe, look, selling cars for 20 years, I know that if people know you are desperate for a sale, you need a sale. They're like dogs. They can sense it. They can sense it, and subconsciously, it changes what and how they respond to you. When people sense that someone's desperate, there's a part that instantly causes them to and stop. And I'm not talking just me chasing, like, new people out. I'm talking, like, they just sense, just like an animal can sense, clear it's the same thing. And I think the truth is, it's probably more people can sense that we do something different than what we want to believe or let on to. If you're hosting the party, people are trusting how you will run the party. Same if you're a guest, there is a trust. Absolutely. So, okay, so with that point, which I think makes sense. Then if you're the host, you can kind of control shit a little bit. So if I'm hosting the party and have to be, I walk over like, that's probably what I did there for those who aren't watching. I grabbed a boob and went, then people are probably going to know. And if you don't, I mean, I like to think it's like crazy winter nights. We set a certain tone. We set a certain tone for how things are going to be. Like, we blatant advertise. This is not a fucking frat party. If you want a frat party, that's not us. And so, in turn, people's level, they behave to the level of those around them. So, if you have something that people are mingling and you're making sure you're introducing people and it's very natural and normal and not like anything weird, then I think it can be fine. If you act weird, if you act like JoJo the a circus monkey. Motherfuckers are going to sense that a mile the fuck away. They're going to be... They're going to sense that a mile the fucking way. And yeah, now, okay, so... And part of what's going to be is how you react when something that you perceive to be a giveaway happens, but it's really not. Let's go back to the example of Pictionary, for example. Okay. Okay, here's the deal. Let me tell you how this works. Nine out of ten people, or nine out of ten dudes will go this way. If a certain thing comes up and a penis would be funny, or it makes sense, are going to draw in a dictionary. Oop, dick. Weep. Doesn't matter if you're a swinger, doesn't matter if you're a vanilla, doesn't matter if you're a poly, doesn't matter what the fuck you are. That's just reality. But how you react to it, will absolutely speak volumes. If you're like, oh my god, I didn't mean to do that, I'm really sorry. You look guilty as fuck. How do you catch a little kid that's eating cookies? It's all over his face. Did you eat a fucking cookie? No. I didn't eat cookies. I'm not supposed to have cookies. No. I didn't have cookies. Why would you ask me to have cookies? Because you have cookies. No, I don't. I don't have anything. Why are you upset that you threw a dick? Because I didn't want to offend you because you said I threw a dick and I was wrong. Motherfucker. Everybody thinks that penis is... Say penis. At your next Christmas party, for no apparent reason, walk in, talk to random people and go, I just want to see if this really works. Penis. And watch how many people chuckle. Because you know what? Probably half the dudes are going to be like... And same with the chicks. Pause. For the past week and a half, Cole has been a 12-year-old. Goddamn right. Everything is fucking perverted. Everything has to be twisted pervertedly. We keep a squirt bottle. And we squirt each other when we say we're hurting shit. And I've been wet a lot. Anyway, just so. Have you been wet? I've been wet. Just light and easy. Just driven. Moist. Really moist. And that's the thing. So, like, seriously, try that. Try that. If you don't believe me, try that. If you don't have an office party, try it at work. Try it in the lunchroom. Try it in a fucking meeting when I was having fun trying a meeting. I just want to say something here to help everybody just get in the mood for this meeting. Penis. And why? Because cock, it won't make you laugh, but penis will make you laugh every fucking time. Vagina. I just, I mean, it is what it is. That's normal. Like, so all of a sudden you act all fucking Jojo the Circus Monkey about it. Everybody's going to be like, then it becomes weird. Just laugh and go, seriously, dude? A dick. Nice. Excellent. And move on. And I mean, that's the whole thing. Every time you're looking like you're in a horror movie, you're terrified of what anybody's doing, if you look guilty, it will absolutely show your guilt. House Fonji, this is fucking straight up Pulp Fiction, House Fonji, be cool, be cool, just House Fonji, A, be cool. If you're cool, no one will fucking know, seriously. And I think the reality... But it's how many... Okay, so here, let's twist a little... Six beers into it, I'm going to be like, look at my dick! So let's twist it up a little bit. All right. Now I've got kinky. Oh, no, I forgot what I was going to say. You were twisting it up a little bit. Tit on red. Holy fuck. Really? We'll wait. We ain't got nothing going on. We're good. Fuck you. What was I going to say? What were you talking about? I was talking about acting guilty. Just act natural and you're fine. Most people laugh. You say penis. We got to go back and have this whole conversation. You go in the office and say penis, people are going to laugh. You're going to say, you know. Oh my gosh. I mean that vagina. I really don't know what I was going to say. Penis? No. Markers. I was going to twist it. I had a good fucking idea. Okay. And you totally, I just totally lost it. Okay. Well, when you think of just yelling out, don't wait for me to stop. No, I won't. It'll happen like two hours. We'll just yell it out then too. It's all right. We'll call everybody back. It'll be good. So the thing is, there you go. Honestly, what you may find is some of your vanilla people will come just to find out because they actually think you're fucking a swinger or something else and they really want to meet somebody else and find their way in. Just saying. Some might. Give them wristbands. That'd be hilarious. All right. Because I hate this. I'm not a fan of the wristband thing. Who wants to be educated? Well, I hate that. Like, this means we don't talk to anybody else without this. This means this. This means we're ready to fuck. I had to go. Have a Christmas party. Are you interested in being, are you down to fuck? Here you go. Here's a friend of the wristband. Wow. That'd be fucking awesome. Get somebody to do what? Huh? Get somebody to do what? I don't remember. Okay. Wow. Thanks for being there. Unfortunately, some people you hang around with, everything turns sexual. Fuck you. Even in front of others. Fuck you. I just, that's what I can, dick. Some people get together that's just who they are. That's the truth. Fucking perverts. Just saying. I wish I knew some motherfuckers like that. Well, okay, yeah. Look, if you have the fucking person that's a complete tool, that has the social skills of a fucking, you know, napkin. Don't invite them. I mean, but do that with your neighbors, too. Like, if you have somebody in your work that's just a cunt nugget, you know. How many people truly have a party mixing both? I don't know. We've never been invited. Apparently, I'm that person that nobody wants to invite because they don't judge what I'm going to fucking say. I'll keep my dick in my pants. I sweat. I mean, I don't smoke anymore. I don't drink that much. So it's probably for the most part better. Yeah, you know what? That just now taught me. That's it. What? We don't get invited? We're those fucking people. No, people know we can behave. Do not kid you. Okay, get enough to drink. But you pretty much quit drinking. Apparently not. When was the last time we were invited to a party? We're busy. Oh, yeah. And that's what they're going. Just tell them. I know you're busy. What weekend? What weekend in December do we have for you? I don't know. If somebody would invite us, maybe we'd go somewhere. No, we wouldn't get to see any shit. But that's December. It's once a year. Sand is making his fucking rounds, bitch. What about the other 12, 11 months, 12 months? What about the other 11 months that nobody invites us to shit? We're those fucking people. This show just got depressing as fuck. I just now realized. It's all your fault. Larry, am I the person you're talking about? So now, well, fuck you all. I didn't want to come to your fucking party anyways, dicks. I just feel sad. My jar. From laughing or the other side? Half and half. Maybe we are, though. I don't know. Well, okay, so... Or you get people like my 17-year-old and tell others his mom works for dirty swingers because he hears Cole talking way too much. Hey, look, man, it's a paycheck. Just go with that. Hey, we had a kid that did that in college. Yeah, and he couldn't hurt why all the kids... popped out to see their mom because they wanted to milk their mother. Just saying. I did too. Cole and Amanda, do you think the lack of human interaction, which is now very prevalent in our society, is driving the increase of pubescent, pre-pubescent, I can't talk, or C, sexual behaviors when people get together and actually interact? Yes. Absolutely. It's absolutely, it's absolutely, Killing the... It kills social... Social skills. Yeah. Because honestly... Okay, look. Okay. You leave me to my... Go ahead. It's like... It's like you have to train your kids later on in life how to answer a phone. It's ringing. Well, say hello. Yeah. Yeah. What? Hello. And then they just hang up. Did you not say bye? Yeah, they actually... And they don't actually know how to use it. So they're... Ability to do a lot of things has stopped because they don't have to talk. And, okay, so I'll use me as an example. My, because my brain works at a rate of a 10,000 perverted and just thoughts a second. What is. That's not exaggerated. What's funny is, so I have been out of the real workforce, like a real job for seven years. Slack. Almost eight years now. That's eight years. Let's call it eight years. that I don't have any of the social norms and values that need to take place in a meeting, in an office interaction where you had to have certain filters, where you had to have inside voice. I don't have, I'm not constrained to any of that. And there was a time I was. And even then I was like, fuck you, I did it my way. But for me, if you threw me back into a corporate setting right now. You could handle it. I could handle it, but there was, look, I was in sales and the one thing you learn in sales, you marry your customer. So if a customer doesn't cuss, you don't cuss. There, I say fuck all the time. I've always said fuck all the time. And there were times I was doing presentation. I got to tell you, it's the best fucking thing for you. Sorry. I apologize because it slips. I have seven or eight years of not being in that situation. And as fast as shit comes to me. And a lot of times it comes, goes here and out here with no stop. Yes. Am I an HR situation waiting to happen if I went back into a corporate America? Absolutely. Oh, that's not true. It is true. Because I've watched you do Santa Claus. No, it's not. You don't sit there and cuss at little kids and you treat them very... Oh, under my breath, I do. I have little fucking cocksuckers. Shut up. Oh, my gosh. Little bastards. No, you don't. But, okay, but you're seeing me that is... You're seeing me at a two-hour window where I'm focused. Not in my natural... Look, Okay, take me and I'm pissed off at Santa Claus. Because the reality is when I'm going to slip is not when I'm, like, focused and everything's feeling good. It's when somebody pisses me off and I'm going to go, are you fucking kidding me? Have you lost your fucking mind? I'm going to say that. Ask Jessica. I've said it to her. Not about her, but about other people. It will come out when I'm, you know, in that mode because I haven't been trained. So when you go to nothing but lifestyle events, for so many years, going to a vanilla event, it takes work to change the way you interact. Yes. Yes, it does. Yes, I agree with that. Absolutely. So to your excellent point, there is a loss of soft social skills, and it seems to be a skill set that can diminish quickly if it's not nurtured. Yes. Yeah, very much so. And look, that's part of the challenge we have in the lifestyle environment. in general is that it's part of the problem we have in life okay so from this is a very guy thing to say when i was a kid growing up and for all the years and time before then if you ran off if you popped off at the mouth right uh if you popped off to your parents you're probably gonna get popped but if you ran you talk shit you you probably you might have to throw hands right like Like, you know, here's the deal. You talk shit to the wrong person, you're going to get fucking punched in the face. We don't have that now. So now people can be keyboard warriors and say whatever with no consequences, right? So by the same token, okay, the hardest thing in the world, and the reason it's so the lifestyle gets hard for our age group is because it was hard to walk up and ask a boy or a girl out when we were kids because you could be rejected, you could be whatever. And if you said, if you walked up and you're like, hey, what's up? What the fuck? Right? Well, you can get away with that shit and not actually deal with consequences online. So our skill set is diminished. What we want, what's really funny, what we want is massively more interaction. We strive for it and need it more than ever before, and yet our skill set to get it is so diminished because the reality of it is, is that if you're an idiot online, what you want, as a guy, I want, Pussy. But I'm an idiot online, which means I'm not going to get any pussy, which means my drive to get it online increases and I become a predator and I become hungry and I become thirsty and a moron, which makes it even harder to get pussy and all I really want is pussy. Or if I would just shut the fuck up, think and present myself like a fucking rational human being instead of a ravenous fucking squirrel on crack, I might get some fucking pussy. And that's the reality of it. And so, to Larry's point, yeah, when you go to... The reason more meet and greets turn into a grope vest in a public bar is because, quite honestly, we don't fucking know how to do anything else. All we do is, people talk about it all the time, all we do is go to lifestyle events, well, gropeity gropeity grope, and then all of a sudden we get in public, we're like, well, what the fuck? We don't know any better. Our hands, it's rote, it's muscle memory. Like, here's the deal, I'm not thinking about touching a tit. My hands just rote muscle memory. It just, oh, look, tits. It sounds stupid. Watch Shawshank Redemption, and they talk about the concept of being an institutionalized man. When you first go to prison, you hate these walls, and then you learn to deal with these walls, and eventually you need these walls. It's a great part in Shawshank Redemption. I vote for it all the time. Love it. It's the same fucking thing with lifestyle. When you first go, you're just like horny. Then you get so, you get in a swing, you get used to it, and then you reach a point where you don't know how to function outside of lifestyle, where you can't just say whatever comes to your mind. You can't make that comment. I can't go, man, that's a tight-looking ass. You can't do that, but you're still out of practice. That's all you know how to fucking do. And it's a skill set that we have to practice. And the best way to do it is with your fucking neighbors at a Christmas party, wherever it gets drunk and you can be like, I was drunk, I don't know what happened. So who's going to party with us now? Wow. Oh, stop. Don't act that way. No, but I mean, you know, Okay, well, the biggest and most difficult things about living the lifestyle is managing other people who want to interact in the same way, high school way that they did when they happened upon sex in their early life. I cannot see. I know. I don't want to put glasses on. That makes me look old. So does your driver's license. Fuck you. See, it just popped right out. No self-preservation. To quote Brad Paisley, I'm so much cooler online. They want to be engaged in the same fashion they did in their childhood. One thing I can say is at least anybody around us or has been around us for a long period of time knows that we talk constantly. So like our kids, for example, were raised listening to us talk and they engaged in the conversation so they at least know how to talk. and carry on a conversation where not a lot of people have that. Yeah. Especially being educated on that nowadays. One of the things that is going to the concept of the Christmas party that I think people forget when we think we have to have it segregated out. It's far fun if it's segregated out. Well, not necessarily. Trust me. One of your neighbors is down to fuck. Don't kid yourself. You just don't know which one it is. And if you think I'm lying, I live in a neighborhood, I'm not lying. That's 100% true. The thing is, is that part of the challenge is that our parents went to, like, they went out all the time. They went to the Elks Club, they went to the Eagles, they went to, over to Happy Hour, they went to other people. My parents did Happy Hour with friends. There was other people going neighborhood block parties, right? They usually had not only just the neighbors, but their extended families and whatever there. That is a thing of the past. So what's really funny, as nervous as we are in the lifestyle that somebody is going to say something stupid from the lifestyle side, trust me, every wife or husband is going, don't fucking say something stupid. Okay? Because you're going to be like, now remember, don't show your phone around, dumbass. Right? Our vanilla friends are just as nervous because They're not comfortable. That concept of a holiday Christmas party with friends just coming over, everybody's coming over, is so fucking rare now. Like, that's not the norm. And it was a time. You want to watch somebody be nervous? Well, you still have some, you have the younger groups doing game nights and shit like that. Okay, to a degree. But I'm talking, that's not the average age of swingers. Swingers are between 35 and 55 and older. If you doubt me if I'm right How many people Have neighbors That have lived in your neighborhood Less than five years That at the holidays come up to your door And bring you a tray of goodies How many neighbors Do you know in your neighborhood That you have known for less than five years Do you go to their door With a tray of goodies And if you do. Amanda told me about it, that her neighbor moved in like during COVID and said we never got, put in a little note on some sourdough bread or some artesian bread that they made and said, we know we never introduced ourselves, but we're your neighbor. We moved in in 2020 and we thought you'd give you, you know, wish you a Merry Christmas. And she's like, it was so nice. We lived in a neighborhood. I used to do that all the time. We lived in a neighborhood for 20 years. We gave out stuff. We only had one day. We've lived here. And she was like 80. Yeah. And she was afraid of me. And it was a nasty pastry, but we took it every year because it was so nice. Hey, the fucking door, the door fucking stoppers here. But she was terrified of me. Super nice lady. We've lived here seven years. Yeah, I don't know anybody. We don't know anybody. And I can tell you with complete certainty. Next door would get shit. Well, I can tell you with complete certainty. Next door has been here the whole time we have. have. Across the street, on this side, has been there the whole time that we've been here. Across the street, that side has been here the whole time. I've spoken once to them. It's just a different time. So the funny part of this whole thing is... I think people get busy, too, anymore. They're busy, and we don't want to know. My dad hated people. My dad was like, fuck neighbors. If you know them, then they want to borrow shit. Fuck that. Go get them, Dad. Love you on that one. But the thing is, is that honestly, everybody The best thing that could happen, if your neighborhood hasn't had a neighborhood party, or you haven't had one, or no one's had one forever, is to have the swinger friends and your regular friends over and have a house party. And when everybody first gets there, fucking crack a penis joke, because seriously, everybody is just as fucking nervous, because they don't know what to do. They don't want to say something that's going to be offensive. Trust me, your neighbor's wives have told their husbands, don't fucking do anything stupid. I'm telling you, it has been fucking said. And the swingers, as soon as, like, as soon as Cole starts doing something, I'm getting slapped. Okay, so how awkward would it be when you, if you went to this party hosted by somebody else that brought both sides, right? You get in there and someone comes up to you. Well, how do you know them? I think it would be less embarrassing. What story do you want me to tell them? I think it would be less embarrassing. We met at a bar. We used to say, how many times did we say that? Yeah, but that's just it. It's like, you know, we've I've never heard of you yeah well I've never heard of you so fuck you you got nice tits I mean the thing is seriously but that's just I think to agree that's where we overthink it you know you want to know what but I'm an overthinker I'm a Gemini the family is the one that's going to go how do they know you that is don't invite your fucking parents don't do it just say you fucking know because your mom is going to walk up to you and you know god I miss my mom but she would walk up how do you know she wouldn't know because she knew We were swungers. Before she died, we were swungers. But everybody would be like, well, how do you know them? And she'd go, are you one of them? Yeah, and she's like, do you know them from, you know, wink, wink, nudge, stop it, mom. You know, but the thing is, is don't invite your parents. But most neighbors, most neighbors are not going, oh, how do you, oh, they're just going to assume you're somebody from work. Just be like, here's some friends of ours. You know, the best thing you can do is make sure that you introduce, cross-introduce, so that it doesn't become Walfour A, Walfour B. Yeah. And because I'm telling you, they're just as fucking nervous. The reality is, it's like, you could crack a joke, and I would do this, because I'm that dick. I would do this. I'm just like, okay. Now, before we go any further, I think the best thing to make sure this week is as relaxing as he is, let's everybody take off one article of clothes, and the party will start. Oh, whatever. Because, no, I would absolutely say that, because all the vanilla people would laugh, going, that's a cool thing to say, ah. And that would totally break the ice. It just totally wouldn't. Are people actually going to do it? The funny thing is, if you want to wind up and your neighbors are down to fuck, that's a pretty good way to start the party. Because trust me, you're going to have somebody that's going to be like, okay, and the wife's going to be like, put your fucking shirt on. Just saying. I'm telling you. That's who you give shots to. I've talked with friends about how we met before I meet their family or friends. Yeah, you kind of You can line that up. Once I had a couple visit to say hello, and I had them in for a drink, I had a tantric chair in my living room, and the husband didn't know what it was, but his wife mounted it correctly and quickly, and as her husband realized what it was, they never came out. I see. Okay, that's funny. And you put a special asterisk by that person's name, and it's like, ooh, invite to the party. It's honestly, and of course, we say all this stuff, joking and laughing, because it's easier said than done. Yeah. We had a bunch of friends at kids' graduation. It's amazing how fast the brain works under pressure. Absolutely. That is very true. We've all had to do it at some point. Oh, well, look, you want to know what the best part of that conversation is going to be? Seriously? God's honest with you, the best part of after you have your swingers and your friends are is the conversations you will have with both your vanilla friends and your swinger friends. Because your swinger friends are like, man, are you sure they're not swingers? I'd fuck her. I'd fuck him. And your fucking vanilla friends are going to be like, boy, that one girl, that was a hell of an outfit. That was some high fucking heel. Yeah. Boy, they seem really nice. Are they going to come back around? Time's almost up. Okay, so do you get concerned about how people dress? When they go to an event, someone's dressed in a stanley thing with their boobs halfway hanging out, and the vanilla people are going, oh, my God, she's dressed like a whore. No, look, here's the, and part of this is that ultimately. So she's confident in her body. Oh, well, part of it is, it's not your job. Look, if everybody walks in looking like Laura Ingalls off Little House on the Prairie and you're hanging up their bonnet, okay, that's going to look just as fucking weird. You know what? All right, back to the Amish store. If people are fucking... Remember, you have plausible deniability the next day to go... I don't know. Man, I was just like... I don't know, but I sure kept seeing her tits. I mean, the reality of it is that... Because if you go to any office party, somebody's dressing like a slut at the office party. I never... I know, I'm just hassling. But somebody is... No, no one's dead at ours. Oh, no. Somebody always dresses just fucking... And doing their own vibe. It's okay, because you know what? They know somebody else in their neighborhood that do the exact same thing. Actually, probably what that does is that causes more people on the way home to go, I told you you could have wore that. That's what that conversation is. And you know what? You're not their adult. Look, you are not held responsible. If somebody walks in, if I walk in wearing my Santa suit, because I just got done with the Santa gig, is it your fault? Oh my God, Santa, came to a party ruined it no you didn't tell me how to fucking dress it is what it is and you can be just as amazed whatever and again you want to find out what neighbors are down wait till the husband and wife couple that's two neighbor two doors down goes both of them are sitting there when you're outside talking later goes hey the next time that one couple comes over you should invite us over again that'll tell you everything you fucking need to know right fucking there and trust me most of your swigger friends never know it's amazing and city, even the size of Omaha or bigger cities, you walk into somebody's house, who the fuck is neighbors with who? So guess what? They may be swingers and know you're swingers, but they didn't know that somebody from their church lives right down your fucking street. Okay, so then there's another thing. Uh-huh. What if they get, you get in there and there's people you didn't know that were swingers? Would you be concerned about going, are you a swinger too? That's on them. And you can, because here's again, you have, this is what my therapist tells me, Derricka, you're so proud of me. You are not responsible for how other adults act and behave. You cannot control them. So if somebody says that, if somebody looks at this, so one of your friends is asking us if we're swingers too. Okay, great. They're doing what? Uh-huh. Well, that's news to me. Okay. You can't be responsible. If somebody gets, if one of your vanilla neighbors, if you have all neighbors over and one of the neighbors gets trainwrecked drunk and pisses in the yard off the front door on their way home. Did you do that? No. Are you responsible for that? No. If one of your friends stands up and goes, I hate midgets. All midgets are bad. Death to midgets. Did you tell them to say that? No. I mean, you can't be held accountable for that. It's like, now, if you go, if you do the big, I knew this was going to happen, I'm guilty. It's all on you. But don't. You can't control any of that. I've seen a mini in a vanilla situation. I have seen complete vanilla party. Husband and wife. I've seen it where a husband got fucking train wreck fucking drunk and started getting handsy and probably caused a fucking divorce. And I've seen where a wife got fucking train wreck drunk and was ready to fuck and moved and probably caused a divorce. It's not just a swinger thing. You know, it's just a happy holiday sort of thing at that point in time. I mean, I'm just saying, you know, so yeah. If somebody, enjoy the view. If somebody wears something super slutty and whatever, and if you really want to be the king of the neighborhood, women, I don't care if you don't listen to this part. If you want to be the king of the neighborhood, guys, you want to be the guy that everybody will mow your fucking yard and do shit for you and fucking let you borrow tools and fucking bring you beer and all that shit, and one of your swinger friends that's really hot wears something super skanky, whatever the game was going to be, throw it the fuck away. and get out the twister and you are now a god of the neighborhood just saying because jessica put my neighbor had mentioned once i have a lot of different men over to my house and then carnell goes jessica had a similar perspective from a male's perspective similar experience from a male's perspective see just saying why is it everywhere you go you have camera equipment i don't know who knew weird just saying i mean but that's it but Seriously, so the other thing that if you get nothing else out of this show, if you're going to have a party with vanilla and swingers or just a party in general, make sure you get a twister board and make sure that you're ready to know where it's at so that if any chick wears something super skanky, whatever, that at any moment in time you can quickly and easily whip out the twister board and go, okay, we're going to play twister and just watch the games begin and get a GoPro and have forms. Sign here. All right, what a great show. Did I get a Santa gig, too, in all this? Yeah. Oh, sweet. Awesome. Got a Santa gig. We educated. We talked. We came. We saw. We played Twister. I don't know. It's all good. Okay, so with that being said, well, we're going to call her tonight, wrap her up. Again, shout out to our sponsors, ASN Lifestyle Magazine, Motor Bunny, DiscreetDirtyCO.com. Check them all out. Visit them. You can get all in our show notes. You can visit their website, so feel free to check them out. them all out. Please visit them. Don't forget, get your fucking tickets to Crazy Winter Nights, kids. It's coming up 57 days away. We still do have rooms. They're going quickly. You don't have to have room to get it, but go on CrazyKazwa, K-R-A-Z-Y-K-A-S-W-H.com. Get your tickets today. Don't forget to follow her, all her porn stuff, her pussy's everywhere. Check it out. With that being said, kids, it's the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will. Droopy face and all. Kazna Style, out. Bye.