Krazy Truth about Swinging #344 It ain't easy getting older

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swain. I'm your technology moronic host, Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely, and giggling at My Stupidity Miss Amanda. Maybe. And with that, great show. Thanks for being here. Fucking shit's working. I'm pretty sure I got a virus. I have too many tabs open, but I'm going to get a new computer. So, I don't know what kind I'm going to get, though, but it's not going to be something I have to learn shit on. Anyways, for those of you following at home, this is Season 8, Episode 344. And we've had this computer for all... No, we haven't. No, we haven't. That's a lie. I've only had this for half time. No, you haven't had that that long. Like two years. No, it's probably been closer to three. Yeah, well, this fucking shit's outdated as hell. Time to modernize, because I'm a hip, young, now kind of guy. Yeah, wait till you... Okay, so I have one computer, since I'm going to interrupt him, because we've been on this whole fucking talk about computers. Mm-hmm. I have one that I refuse to throw away, because it has Photoshop on it, and I can still use it, even though it's really slow. Photoshop. I think it might be running Windows 10. Yeah, I don't know. This thing is about a virus now or some shit. And it's not from porn this time. I did do one computer that was years forward in the lifestyle that I got a virus from porn. I remember that. It was one of the, yeah, whoops. Oops, my bad. All right, shit one. Anyways, so. Be careful where you get your porn. No shit. Now it doesn't matter because I know the good sites because there's ones you're on. So season, I did that part, season eight, episode 344. Shout out to our sponsors first and foremost, motorbunny.com. Don't trust your hard-earned dollars and your junk to just any random sex toy. That's right. Have a name you can trust. Is a vag really a junk? Well, it's your junk. I mean, it's the general overall so that it's not fucking non-binary term. You know, you don't want to be like junk stick and junk hole. I mean, we could call it that. That's the only word. Hey, you got a sexy junk hole. A cookie box. A cookie box. Nom. Anywho, motorbunny.com, this is why they love to pay us money for sponsorships, right fucking there. Check them out today. You can get the original or the buck, and now they've got some handheld things. That's a bunny in the hand. So check those out today, motorbunny.com. I want to make a classic, classic sugar cookie. Or the caramel delight. I don't want it caramel. I don't want anything oozing out of it that slow. It should look like cream and not molasses. Just saying. That's gross. Oh, boy. There's a guy with the content has to shit on people. You know, theirs look like molasses. Anyways, so that being said, ew. Ew. Hard to believe we're going to have more sponsors. Oh, yeah. Discreet. Discreet. Dirty and Discreet. Company.com. Dirty and Discreet. Dirty and Discreet. CL. For your next event, if you want themed t-shirts. Discreet and Dirty. Discreet and Dirty. If you want themed t-shirts. T-shirts, funny, flirty, dirty. If you're in the know, you're in the know. Quality shirts, quick and easy. Customers, welcome to discreetanddirtyco.com. We are so not redoing any of these fucking people when this is over. This is the comedy edition. It's all good. Also, ASM Lifestyle Magazine. That's right. Hey, guess what? Awards tickets are already on sale for 2026. Hopefully we'll win something. Oh, we didn't bring our new hardware up yet. We don't put our new hardware in here yet. What the fuck? God damn it. Show's over. I gotta figure out where my poop is. A whole other shelf of fucking trophy shit. No, I'm having more shows. Anyways, asnlifestylemagazine.com. Make it a habit each and every month to read it. Check it out if you want to know what's going on in the lifestyle world as well as the adult world. Hey, we've got a foot in each and both. You know why that's so important? Because it's important for you to have your leg spread to make money in porn. I think we'll be here all week long. Anyways, check them out today. And finally, probasishealth.com. Probasishealth.com. ProDXHealth.com. We're proud to send their corporate sponsors with us for all of our testing needs, which they are. They have a name change recently, so that's what it's gotten all fucked up. Cut us some slack because it changed. But it is discreet. It is cost-effective. The privacy of your own home, we use it, obviously, with the Pro Kit for all of our adult testing that we need, but they have different kits designed specifically for the lifestyle. Check them out. There's no reason not to be safe. any longer in lifestyle. Prodxhealth.com. I did that for pause. I wanted to make it dramatic. Anyways. Holy fucking shit. Jesus Christ. Four minutes into it. Just get to the part of the fucking show that doesn't suck. So on Facebook, one of their ads popped up and it was labeled one night stand. It takes two minutes to do it. Due to the test, 48 hours for the results. Discreet. The comments were out there. Not out there, just rude. You know, because if somebody were concerned, I mean, how about not having a one-night stand? You know, or, you know, have you ever heard of a condom? Well, honey, let's give you some education on a condom. Let me help you out with it. There's a whole lot of guys that have heard of them, and when they're drunk, they go, I don't use that. I know one. I met that motherfucker. He has three children. I felt horrible. I didn't feel horrible because it's labeled that way. You're going to get some flack off of it. It's the very reason why we have shows and do this shit is because of the stupidity that comes with sexual education. Well, there's that and then there's just immaturity about it. But the Lord says, No One Goes and Fucketh in Carses. You know the biggest knock when they fucking started going to small cars, seriously? In the 70s, when the Japanese car came in with small cars. They couldn't fuck in them? Yes. Because what's more Americana than seeing the cheerleader and the boy in the Letterman jacket in the backseat of the 57 Chevy making out? What they didn't show was the fact that later he was nailing her in the ass with her pom-poms in the air. The first and second time fucked in a car or a truck. Well, okay. First time in a car and first time in a truck. Was with this big diehard Christian Southern Baptist. Who had a small dick. You never saw Jesus once, did you? No, I didn't. But, you know, later was like, I hope you forgive me. I have to forgive my sins. And she hasn't because now she's doing porn. It's all his fucking fault. She works at a brothel and it's your fault, dickweed. No, it's. You didn't send him that. That'd be funny as fuck. No, no. Because one time he said something and I said, it's people like you that made me not want to be part of organized religion because y'all drive it down people's throats and turn you away from it. And he goes, oh my gosh, I didn't know you felt that way. Dumbass. That's how I got a boyfriend. Now she's in a profession where she gets paid for him to drive it down her throat and she gags him. The more sloppy you like it, the better off it is. Just saying. And just one partner? Fuck that. Anyway, it is the reason why we have these shows. Because there is such a fucking stupid concept of sexuality and everything else. So, you know, guess what? Only the dolphins are allowed to fuck for fun. Yep, it just feels good for no apparent reason. You want to know why cats don't fuck for fun? Because it hurts. Their dick is like a little fucking clubby claw thing that looks like something to be able to storm a castle with. If my penis looks like that, I don't blame any girl for not allowing me to stick it in her. There's a reason it feels good. I'm pretty fucking sure that's why God didn't turn water into fucking milk. It was wine. I wonder fucking why. Just saying. You know? Now, the whole fucking anal sex thing, I don't know how it felt good. I don't know. Weird. Whatever works. Is there a hole that you absolutely doesn't feel good if you're in the mood for it? I mean, yeah, if I probably tried to stick my dick in your ear, you probably wouldn't like that. But I mean, mouth, If you are in the mood for anyone, it does not feel good. No. Nope, sex was never designed for fun. Abso-fucking-lutely not. Nope. You know when sex doesn't feel good for a guy? When you fucking do it wrong. If you're teethy. If you're biting my dick and I'm not into that, then you're doing it wrong. Then sex doesn't feel good. Any other rest of the time? You know what? There's a reason guys can fuck a doll, put lube water in a balloon and fuck it, and it feels good. That's designed to supposed to feel good to fuck. Just saying. Wow. So today, okay, so we know the guy that makes sling swings, right? Yes, we do. We know him. His name is Sam. He's kind of weird, but so are we. So we can't really say much. He really wants Cole to do stand-up comedy as Santa Claus. No, I'm not very funny. No one wants to do that. No one wants to listen to it. Dude, you could do a whole fucking comedy skit. You just spent the last fucking ten minutes doing one. Yes, you have. No. No, you did four minutes of an intro. But still, you can do a whole... Like, I have time for that shit. Just saying. What could possibly go wrong? Look, it's only a matter of time before the huge blow-up happens. And Patrick agrees that you would. When the world combines and figures out that both of my Santa Claus look the same. Vanilla and porn. Dun. That's going to be a day of reckoning. Just saying. Well, okay. So if you did comedy as Santa Claus, I would probably like not color your hair and like wear your green vest versus the coat. I do the green vest, but I'd still color my hair. You got to look the part, man. Just saying. Then I look like a homeless dude just wearing an outfit. It looks a little fancy, though. Well, I'm a fancy, fancy kind of guy. Just saying. You gotta wear the vest, too. Just saying. Okay, so we're getting on topic now. There's a topic today. I got a big, huge shipment of stuff from Amazon before I go to the ranch. And my old lady costume came. And it looks awesome. You know what's awesome? When she goes, God, I gotta make sure my tits finish. Mrs. Claus can have a rack. Yeah, I've got a Mrs. Claus. So Exotica this year, we're doing Santa. But because the goal is not to have Santa get all the attention, it's focused for Zippy. So she's got, this year you can come sit on Santa's lap, or you can have the female version of Santa sit on your lap. Just saying. And for a donation of $5. Do-do. Anyway, sorry. I don't know if I'll run all three days. You probably will. Smelly Santa suit. Mrs. Glaw smells like cum. No, no, that's just Dale Cookies. Dale? That's what happens when too many elves hammer away. Anywho, so we can actually talk about a topic of some variety. We could give out cookies. You could make cookies. We have 10,000 cookies at our booth. Just saying. Okay, so the topic that I thought of, because I thought it was interesting. There's a topic. Yeah, really, you know, just saying. So being that we're older swingers, well, you are. Okay, wait a minute, let's see. Before we went to ASN Awards, I had my shipment of dick juice sent to me, and I get shots every week to try to make my dick work. And 20, you know, I didn't. You could blame that on you losing a nut. On autism? Possibly. The thing is that when I was 20, I did not need that anyways. But the deal is a topic because I got told one time that they like when we talk about real life things that affect swingers. And so what I'm going to want to talk about is a huge challenge that affects swingers as we get older, which literally is medical. Okay. Because, okay, look, here's the deal. 20-year-olds in the lifestyle, God love them. Let me help you out with just a total side note here. Boys, don't fucking milf because you're just going to be disappointed for a lot of years. Wait until years become ones. Just saying. Gals, keep up the good work with daddy issues. But the reality of it is the things that a 20-something-year-old couple or a 30-year-old couple need to do to get ready for a swinger event, for the most part, is very different than hypothetically saying, like, I don't know, a 50-year-old couple, right? Because there's a lot of things that generally are going on in a world that's a little bit different in terms of your health, right? And it's very real. When you see people talk about misconnections, like cancellations, all that shit, it's a different ballgame as you get older. So, I mean, obviously, when we were younger, You know, we went through it. Every couple of your younger probably has. Period. Happens. Out of control. It happens. How many events did I get one? You know what? A lot. A lot. And it happens to a lot of people. And you know what? That's understandable. But I'm talking other hardcore issues. I'm talking issues that things, well, just like testosterone issues. Right? Well, it is new. Sorry. No, that's all right. If I'm boring, you just go ahead. Now the show's got exciting. It isn't even just you. Okay, so I remember when it was like, okay, so we're going to go do this. I need to take Cialis. You know, when you were trying Cialis, you have to take it, you know, so much beforehand. 17 hours ahead of time, I know exactly within 10 minutes. Viagra, you had to take it so much beforehand. You get older for a woman. Okay, so I don't do hormone replacement pellets. I don't want the up and down. So I do the straight pills and creams. So when it comes to, ooh, I think I'm at a play date, I take that testosterone, I double it up because that makes me wet where, you know, it might not work. And the reality of it is many times the truth is you have your physical health and your mental health because a drunken excursion, look, we had some great drunken sex, right? And it was awesome. But as you get older, the challenge is, Maybe I didn't get hard. It was half-ass sex on my part or before it lasted or whatever. You might have dried out midway through and you leave the activity. You leave the hookup or whatever and it has a totally different vibe to it when you leave because you're dealing with health things. Here's another one. Fucking mosquito. Go on. Here's another one. You have partial tears in your rotator cuff. Yeah. Right? I'm getting ready to have hand surgery on both hands. Carpal tunnel surgeries. You're having... Get that fucker. There are times that, you know, when I was 20, I could work all day long and then just fucking be stiff maybe the next day. No big deal. I go to an event now and I'm up on my feet all day long. Like at the end of Exotica. Like when it's time to go to... When we're done for the day. I'm fucking done for the day. Like, you're helping me get my cowboy boots off. You know, you can't. Maybe your workout, you need to start wearing the cowboy boots. That's it. There you go. Perfect. Now we got it figured out. But you, my legs are supposed to the next morning. You know, it takes 20 minutes. Like, if you have something at 8 in the morning, you got to get up at 6 because you got to give your body a chance to get fucking moving and going and fucking going. It's a totally different ballgame. It's just your overall health. in general, feeling fucking shitty, feeling sick. Hey, you want to know what I love? Nothing better than a hemorrhoid to fuck your day up in the middle of everything. And yes, it happens and it fucking sucks. And, or you, your conversation worries about the test you're going to have in a week from now. Yeah, it's regular routine maintenance, but it's still because you're over 50 type tests. I take a pill so that my prostate doesn't fucking get, so I can pee better, but it causes my cum to go in instead of out. things are different now than they were when we're 20. And the reality of that is that as much as the physical health, there are times literally now, and I've had to, we had to do it at, we had to do it at exotic or at ASN. You canceled the shoot because physically your body was like, nope, ain't fucking happening. And that's just the reality of it. And that's the difference. And I think one of the challenges of the lifestyle, when you're old, you're trying to find the day that you feel the perfect day. You're going to feel good. And at the last minute, something comes up and your body says, fuck you. And in turn, you're like, and everything stops. And I think that's a reality that goes through. And I think that in turn, it fucks with your mental as well. Feel free to read accordingly. Rachel says that she has a genetic skin disorder that it actually takes her a week-long prep to get ready for a play date absolutely absolutely and the thing is is it's the the challenge becomes is that well I like okay I'll call Larry on this one because I think he can appreciate this I know that I'm slowly getting there the workouts that you can do at our age now it's different than what you could do when you were young right just a natural part of life, whatever. But the recovery time, the recovery time, if you go, and Larry, jump in if I'm wrong, if you go and just fucking, you max on everything of your workout. Right. You're going to fucking feel it different the next fucking day. We have had times, us, to fuck after, I don't know, doing a project or whatever, where we're like about four strokes in this motherfucker and my back's like, nope, you're done. You know? You know how much difference not enough water makes now compared to when I was 20 years old? I didn't even know what water fucking was when I was 20 years old. I only drank that sparingly because that was bad. But, you know, rum did okay for me. I get more creams now than I ever did when I was 20. Magnetium helps a lot with that. Look, when part of your travel kit includes your place, bag, all right, and your toy bag, and your overnight bag, and then fucking between the two of us, you're carrying a fucking pharmacy with you. When your fucking pill cases don't hold enough pills for two fucking weeks, you have to take the bottom. I had filled mine, too. I filled mine, too, and you sure as fuck don't go anywhere without aspirin, like three different kinds of aspirin. When we travel, we have ibuprofen, right? We have Excedrin. And we have Advil back. And we have Advil back. That's our aspirin supply just to fucking go somewhere. It is different when you're older. So the thing is, how do you overcome, how do you mentally overcome that? Because the reality of it is, you don't want to fuck just other old people, because then it's just a bunch of fucking bones cracking around everybody. But the thing is, the nerves, that's a joke, you can fuck old people, only one. The joke factor is that it's like if all of a sudden you've got a 30-year-old that's interested, oh, fuck. What did Larry say? It's the truth. If your body is not used to it, it will let you know. The older we get, the more important hydration is. Cramps are easier to get. When you can take fuck it, when one of your meds is blood pressure meds. And we all joke. Look, it's the joke. Remember, if you're not old, let's remember this. Fuck you. But for those older, we all remember I Fall and I Can't Get Up. And that was a really fucking funny commercial. I Fall and I Can't Get Up. That was an 80s reference, but okay. It's not as fucking funny anymore when you go, I'm only about 10 years, 20 years from needing one of those motherfuckers. Excuse me, but I'm the one that busted my ass in the snow in January. You don't fucking count, dingle fuck. No, it hurts. Your family lives to be 187. Okay, when you hit 100, you're in midlife. So whatever, ride your broom somewhere and go away. We got no other fucking... I have no sympathy. Your fucking rotator... Here's the thing when you're old, you do stupid shit and then you have to deal with it. Like you try to roller skate. Because it's not the same as when you're eight. No, your center of gravity is a little different. And that was before her tits. Now she just go head over her ass. I picked them up today and I'm dusting them off and I go, I could take these... to the ranch with me and skate around like I get in so much trouble. If I get a fucking call and have to fly down early because you broke your fucking arm, oh my god, but there was a point to all this and I've lost a point. See, that's the other thing. Now you don't remember the name, not because you're fucking so many people, just because your memory's like, I don't know. But I think as you are getting older, you're kind of forced into some of these routines as you go. Yes. And so you don't realize how much is built up. Yes. When you get older. Yes. But mentally, you're still pretty sure that if you get a chance for a 20-something, it could kill you. When people look at you, let's talk about the mental aspect of it. Because this is true, at least for guys. When you know you're in a meet and greet and there are late women, I mean, they're fucking just kids, they're 20-somethings, right? And you know they're looking at you going, there's no way that motherfucker's heart is healthy enough for you. sex. Which is the same fucking joke I would have made about people. No, there's a couple of years ago. There's a couple people that you go, if you hook up with them, you need to have them sign a release that you're not, you're not held liable for them having a heart attack. I'm like, come on. And what's funny is there's some of them that probably are thinking the exact same thing about me. And let's face it. Go ahead. I know for a fact with all my surgeries and medications taken, it will affect your erection. You want to watch a 20-year-old fucking panic? A 20-something? Start fucking her and just start sweating profusely. Now, not just sweating, but kind of flush like a good workout sweat. Have all the color drained from your face at the same time. Because she's pretty sure at that point in time, you're either going to cum or die on her. She doesn't know which. She was 40. In her early 40s. No. Mid-40s? We were in our late 40s. Hadn't been our late 40s. When you decided to double up on Viagra because you were just terrified you weren't going to be able to get it up for. No, for both of you because I was going to have a threesome with you. It was a threesome. Yeah. And I was, yes. And he was totally afraid of it. I was impatient. Yeah. I took one. Very impatient because I'm like, once it gets going, they'll be good. And I was drinking. And then he takes a second one and then all of a sudden you're on top of me. Without telling either one of the two girls. And he's like turning butt-ass white. And I'm just like. Sweating. What's going on? Nothing. I just need a minute. I just need a minute. And I'm like, dude. And he goes, well, I might have taken a second. And they were both looking at me. My dick was hard, though. So there we had that. And they were both looking at me. And I was the color of like a fucking. I was even pastier than normal. And proceeded. To get a very big lecture from the both of us. Yes, I did. I did still finish. After a break, water, paramedics, you know, it was all good. But other than that, it's just the reality of it is that as we get older, and I can say this shit because you're talking to somebody who, you know, should cut their hair, probably should shave it for the bald spot, but have figured out how to do backward comb-overs on their hair. You know, I'm different in that. Like, gray doesn't bother me. That's my pet shot. Daddy issues. We can shave your head and get you a wig. We sure can fuck good. We can get a wig. If you get by the wig, then we'll do it. But the mental aspect of getting older in the lifestyle, because I think you still want to, you still want to play. You don't want to be regulated to, okay, well, if you're 60 and over, we can fuck. You know, you want to be able to still be in that pool. And how do you do it to overcome, one, your own insecurities and not doing things stupid to, you know, to kill the mutant? Trust me, these are all the, this is my brain because, you know, I've thought about this before. I've thought about when I've had girls over here. You know, nothing says let's fuck like my CPAP machine sitting on the side of the bed. I mean, you know, nothing just goes, huh, I'll bet he's going to bang like a fucking rock star. It's just, it's not, it doesn't happen like that. And, you know, I mean, if you walked in, there was like a ventilator, like an IV stand, would that do anything for you? So apparently Dan has died on Rachel and came back. Not during sex, but yes, if he starts to breathe heavy and et cetera. During sex, I ask if he's okay. So I had my couple of years ago. We actually know somebody and we've talked to them at one of the New Jersey exotic as a dinner where she's like, no, he literally was having sex and he had a heart attack. And as soon as we were done, I was calling 911. He was in the hospital. He was having surgery. And I'm like, holy shit. But he finished like a champ, just saying. Okay, so in all seriousness, because it totally had in my mind, this is a great topic. It's like, this will be really mature. We have fun with it. Well, you have to have fun with it because the reality of it, it is a real thing that we go through. And I think that a lot of people, it causes a lot of people to get out of the lifestyle, which, look, if you're, if you don't, if you no longer, the lifestyle is not if you rock on, you should get out, whatever, that's really cool. But you hate to see people get out of the lifestyle because they think they don't have an option or because they feel like they're going to be, they're going to be judged or they're going to be, whatever. Right? I mean, you hate to see anybody. It's like you hate to see anybody forced into retirement if they don't want to retire type scenario. So what? Scott. Okay. When I was younger, my partner had an age limit. So I get it. But it still hurts a little when you get turned down for your age. I mean, I still do pretty good for an older guy. Fucker, you're younger than I am. No, but okay. See, I can absolutely. No, I get it. I've turned down guys because they were too young. Right. You're over that now. How old was Black Glove at the Content House? Oh, my God. 20 what? Four. Four? Dun. So... Yeah, he's younger than my youngest. The thing is, is that we all joke, all guys joke about, you know, daddy issues, looking for girls with daddy issues. Here's the reality of that. We do that to hide our own insecurities. I mean, and that's really, that's really the, the. Well, we all do that. It's really funny. As I continue to get older and the lifestyle has brought this, has kept this in my mind a lot. I talk to my therapist about this shit all the time. Thank God. Thank God. Yay, Derricka. I told her I give her plugs on her show all the time. She's like, my dad said to me one time about, and he was probably about my age now. Yes, I would guess. Maybe a little younger, but somewhere. in his 50s, early 50s. And he said, getting old sucks. My dad was like, you know, the epitome man's man, right? I get my barrel chest from my dad, hard worker, fucking just strong as a bull, just incredible. And he goes, getting older sucks. It's everything. You can't lift as much. You can't, you know, you can't work as hard. You can't go as long because your dick doesn't get as hard. You're just, there's nothing about you. And at the time, because I was in my fucking 20s, right? It was like, okay, Okay, whatever, you know what I do. Right? But it's very fucking real now because let's face it, part of it is it's not just getting your dick hard as a guy. Now, okay, great, my dick is hard. But when you're stuck in wind, when you got to take fucking time out after three minutes because you're, you know, okay, great, I can stick a metal rod in my dick and it looks like it's hard, but if I can't breathe and I can't keep fucking... It is. But there's just you. You're not as flexible. You're not as whatever. There's just a lot of shit like that that goes on with it that you have to overcome mentally to fuck with it. Reality is the older we get, the more things won't work like they used to. Self-doubt will take over any moment because of that fear of performance issues. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I'm going to tell this little story because I'm going to tell it because I think it's a really good – it's a good story to understand. And I don't really like to bring porn stuff into it. Well, we do. But I know what makes nobody really cares. But – so at the content house. So there are – I don't know. When we were there, there was probably – I don't know, like eight or nine guys roaming around. Right? And people were shooting and whatever. Everybody's super, very fucking cool. Everybody, whatever. I think all but one or two of them were substantially younger than us, which is pretty common. Somewhere in their 20s and 30s. A couple of them that I shot with were in their late 40s. In their late 40s. Whatever. Still. Huge. This case, which is not always the case. And they're shooting. Like scene after scene after scene. Because that's what you're trying to do. You're trying to get as much fucking shit shot as you can. And most of them, younger, pretty in shape, which I'm not. It's something I'm working on. And I'm someone who doesn't generally lack confidence. And as I was telling you when we left there, sitting there waiting for me to get to shoot. One, look, the Santa thing is awesome and people love it and it's going to do really well for us. But you still feel silly at that point in time. It's like going to a costume party that you thought was a costume party and nobody else is dressed up but you are. You're like, hey, everybody. Hey, I'm an idiot. I mean, everybody's like, oh, that's really cool. But still, you just feel out of place. If Ash were there, would that make you feel better? It would have made me feel better. I mean, the thing is, you just feel kind of, it's like me trying to work deals at Exotica in my Santa suit. It's hard to be taking myself serious. But as you're sitting there, and it was hot as fuck in there. So I'm sitting there with my Santa pants and Santa boots. and no shirt. And these guys are walking out. These guys are fucking ripped. And these guys are fucking, you know, I mean, guys that pray don't even fuck. The fucking mind games that go through your fucking brain. And we know that I like attention. And originally we started with the shoot that we did where we were going to be out in the living room. And I thought we were going to actually shoot a bunch of them because originally you were going to shoot for me and you were busy doing a shoot. So I was like, okay. So that threw me out. And then I thought we were going to shoot in front of people. And I'm telling you what, the degree of panic that gripped me. I was sweating because it was hot anyways. The house was fucking hot. I said it was hot. You even saw it because all of a sudden you're like, are you okay? Because he's like, well, we'll start out here. And I'm just like, oh, sweet motherfuck. We're going to fuck out here in front of everybody. And the absolute panic that gripped me. You used to fuck on cam all the time. I wouldn't have cared. I'd had walked on campus with a dick hanging out. I didn't care. But it's funny how the mental games play and the mental part of that works in. And it made me think about that is a very real part of even meet and greets now. Because you start to, you transition from that age of you don't realize how old you are? It's like, yeah. Until you realize how old you are. Which plays into a lot of reasons why I've stopped doing a lot of things that I used to do at events. Like drinking and stuff like that. Because I need to give myself every fucking opportunity to be on my A-game. And I don't think, I think that women have their own, this is where I think men and women each have completely different I showed Cole a video of me giving him a blowjob where my hands didn't go all the way around because, you know, they didn't fit. That was beside the point. Beside the point that Amanda wasn't completely wet because she didn't prepare herself ahead of time because, well, you know, I didn't think I'd have to. So I did put my testosterone on, whatever, but it wasn't getting as wet as it should. And he's just like, well, grab a hold of my neck. Why do people want to fuck me standing up? I don't know, but I guess because they can throw me around. Because you're fun size. He did one pump. I said, we're done. I tell you that as of like yesterday, I finally quit hurting because I'm pretty sure he ripped me. Non-intentional? No. And he didn't do anything? It was dry. It wasn't wet enough for his size. And it was just like, oh my God. And I even said to the one gal recording it, I said, oh my God. My God, I need more lube. You've got to have lube. And she's like, gosh, I said, my God, you're just huge. And she goes, gosh, I must be weird. I didn't think he was that big. I'm like, for me, he's huge. I think, guys, we tend to forget. We go, well, you just have to lay there. No, shit hurts. That's the challenge with getting older with this is that, and learning to be okay to say, as a guy or gal, I need to take a break. Well, and it was like, I did one after him. And then it was just like, okay, we're done for the day. And I'm like, we are done, done. Sunday, that was Friday. Yep. And we didn't, I didn't shoot again until Sunday. And Sunday, it hurt, but you worked your way through it. And then I was like, I knew he was close to coming. It's like, hurry up. And you canceled the second one. And I did cancel the second one. Cancel the second one because that, but, and in the adult world, they're very cool with going, Okay, stop. We got to do lube. Whatever. But I think in the swingering world, it's sometimes we don't, we're afraid to say that. I think sometimes, and that's why. I never would have asked for lube. No. And now, I think part of it as you get older is we have to learn to be comfortable saying. Speaking up. Yeah, speaking up and saying, I'm sorry. I got to catch. Give me a minute. You know, we have to be willing and comfortable to say. Granted. I'm sorry. Wait, we need more lube. You're afraid that you're going to. Hurt the moment. You know what I mean? Yep. Or cause things to go down, or if it's not working, it's going to ruin the moment. Yep. You know what I mean? Yep. So it's like, how do you overcome that to say something without ruining the moment? Especially, especially, I think we feel that way if it's younger, if it's people that are younger than us. No, anybody. Well, I, because I would really, okay, so like the guy I worked with on Sunday. We were going at it, and I needed a break. But it was like, how do I say that? Because if I stop him, he's going to lose his boner. Well, then that kind of ruins the whole moment, and you have to start all from scratch. What does that do? The thing is, is what we have to learn is that, I think, we, if we think back to us, like when we were earlier in the lifetime, when we were 12, 14 years younger than we are now, You know what, when you had people, and we had such people that are older, that it was like, well, it was just off. Because you know what? Ultimately, if you're fucking a girl, and she's not into it, you can tell if you're paying any attention. If you're fucking a guy, and you're a girl, and it's something that's hurt, and it's not working right, you can tell. And what we have to not be afraid of, and I know I would be the world's worst, because I fight that It's like, oh, I can still do it. I can still do it. No, there's nothing wrong to enhance, to have a better experience or to want to have a better experience to say, I got to take a break. Hey, I got to get lube. If it kills the moment, you know what? So fucking what? Because ultimately, if it's horrible and you're in pain as a female because you're too dry, right? I'm not working. I'm frustrated and I'm just totally stressed out. Then the whole experience isn't going to be fun regardless. And that's what we have to learn to do. And sometimes, especially as we get older, one of the biggest pieces of wisdom we can pass on, especially hooking up with a younger couple, is being able, because when you're younger, a lot of times you won't say shit, being able, older, go, hey, rock on, you're riding me like fucking cheap horse, awesome, I gotta fucking take a break, I gotta breathe, you're gonna kill me, and crack a joke with it, and take a fucking break, because ultimately, if you can show people it's okay to say, Hold on a second. We have a right. Just because we get older doesn't mean that we have to just suffer through. And this is a big one. Obviously, if a guy, if it's not working, it's not working. And we all know that. But I think this is a big one for ladies, and I think it's a big one for ladies, your spouses, that if you need to stop for lube, or if it's starting to hurt, or a position hurts, or they're doing something that hurts, 99.999% of the time, no one's purposely trying to hurt anybody else. But to say, I'm sorry, I can't know, that position hurts, no, slow down. You've done that with porn, which is more common. But even with that, hey, you're bottoming out, you're hurting me. If someone gets offended about that, That becomes a them problem. And you don't want to be there anymore anyways at that point in time. Most people will totally respect that. If anything, you may have people go the other way, going maybe a little too soft then. They go, no, you can, you know, err on the side of caution. But we have to learn it's okay. I think that one of the things that, because seriously, I fight fucking hemorrhoids like a motherfucker and it can absolutely ruin two and three days of my life. my life at a shot. You know what? We're afraid to say. We come up with excuses why we have to cancel. You know what? Here's why I'm canceling. Because I'm fucking 53 years old and shit ain't working right. You know what? I'm canceling because my one nut hurts and it hurts. If I fuck you, it's going to hurt. You know, there's a time and place to learn how to be honest as we get older. And we have to kind of become that old version. Get out of my fucking yard! By me, we don't give a fuck if you like it or not. This is the truth. And if someone can't respect the truth, well, when they're older, fuck them. Do you think they believe that, though? Who the fuck is going to lie and say my ass is bleeding just for fun? Well, I don't mean that, but, like, my nut hurts. If they don't, they can come over and look at the one I have, and I'll show them charts. It doesn't matter if they don't believe it or not. Probably, I mean, I'm not saying it. If they don't believe it, I guess the thing is, is if the people don't believe it, if the people are pissed off because you stopped, if the people think, well, I like this, that position. If you don't fuck you, if they're like that, then here's the biggest thing that we have to learn in the lifestyle. We have to learn the CASBA thing. Fuck you. Because the joy of the lifestyle is supposed to be, it is supposed to be an interactive experience that's enjoyable for everybody involved. Let me say that again. An interactive experience is supposed to be enjoyable for all. That means if there's four people fucking, it's not about as long as the majority has fun, fuck the other one. It's not about half the people having fun. It's not about one person having fun. If it's my birthday and everybody else is hating it, it doesn't matter. If everybody's not having fun, then fuck that experience. You're doing it wrong. Just give me cake. I'll be happy. No shit. Just give her cake. She'll suck your dick for a while and move along. But I mean, that's really the reality of this. We have to learn to go. We have to learn to not be selfish and go. I don't care how much I want to. If there's a couple that's 25 years old and I want to bang the shit. out of her. Right? Dick shots, all kinds of shit. But if she absolutely wants nothing to do with the dude, we have to learn to respect enough to go, no. And not go, well, fucking just deal with it. Or vice versa. You have heard some spouses say that to their other spouses. We have. And that's good, and it's something that people have to. No, suck it up. No, it's not good. No, suck it up is not an okay thing. Okay. I would rather have the moment stopped early rather than ruin the future possibilities because someone is hurt and will not want to try again. Here's one of the interesting parts of being in the adult world. We hear about it more because we hear about comedies swear in the adult world. We were at Exotica in Chicago this year. A guy with an acquaintance of ours, an acquaintance, whatever you want to say, had to cancel on the first day. She was there every day early. On the first day, first shoot, she got tore. They were doing a position. Missed. Nobody was being vindictive. There was no, like, somebody was fucked up. No, just shit happens. Missed. Ripped her. Badly. She had to cancel. All the rest of the shoot. She was there for, like, four days. All of them were shot. We know of guys that have girl missed, fucking riding on top, just missed. FYI, be careful. Riding her. She's riding. She's riding. Missed. Broke his dick. Trip to the emergency room. It fucking happens. And the thing is, is like Larry said, you fucking, you tear a girl or they cause pain. Not intentionally. They're not going to come back. No. I mean, not intentionally. Even intentionally, they wouldn't come back. No. No. I have one guy I will not shoot porn with ever again. Because, yeah, he slapped your pussy. He smacked it. He hurt. Yeah. It's just like, what the fuck kind of porn you want to make? I don't want to make that. No. And the thing is, it's the same thing with guys if shit doesn't work. You know what? Selling cars. People come in and they want a car with all these bells and whistles on them, right? And this car is like $40, $50 grand. But they have a $200 a month budget. And whoever is the one that has to tell them that, when you're the one that has to go, okay, well, that car is a $600 a month payment. That car you want is a $200 payment. That's this car. What happens is they're embarrassed and they leave. And I promise you what happens is they'll go buy that same car for $200 somewhere else. But they won't come back to you because you're embarrassed. It's the same thing with a guy. If a guy is having trouble, or if girls having issues and they're made to feel bad or they're forced to keep going or whatever. It's the mental part of it. They won't come back because it just isn't. They're not comfortable. And that's a huge part of the lifestyle. We just have to be more aware as we get older. And if you're younger and you're listening and you are hooking up with an older couple, here's the deal. You don't even have to be older anymore. You know, people have issues at all ages. say anything. And so I was leaning to one side. We're doing a doggy. So now I got one leg kicked out weird behind. And the thing is, I started to get a cramp in the other leg. And I'm like, I'm trying to. And I had to stop. And she started laughing hysterically because she's like, I totally knew when you shifted that you got a cramp. And she's like, it was feeling good. But I'm going, I wonder when he's going to say something. And she goes, because literally I was like, ah, and just rolled up. That's hilarious. She's younger. And we have history. We had hooked up. many years ago. And she was laughing and asking because it happened. It is what it is. You know, I don't know. I don't know anybody at all. I just, I really was like, this is going to show some great value. It's actually been really good. I've enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it immensely. It's, and then you meet people. There, you know, there's a doubt. How old, by the way, how old do you think D.D. White is? How old do you guess D.D. White is? And yes, if you've ever seen. She's supposed to be the oldest. If you've ever seen Pornhub. She, her thing is, is BBCs. I would think she's like 78. Not quite that old. But her thing is BBCs. And they'll show her some ad clips. She's been around for a while. She used to go by Seika. Yeah, and she's actually, they want to come to crazy when they're not into us. I have pictures with her from the awards. They're super cool. She's very nice. She's super nice. She looked at me, she's like, are you wearing that to the formal? We were dressed in jeans. So we don't want to get all over us. But she's 71 years old. Oh, so Desiree's older? Desiree's older. Oh, I thought she was the oldest one. Oh, well, hell. And I just bring that because I've seen some of her videos. Some shit she's still doing. God love her because. She's 71. Cole reached out because she was looking for a mother-daughter scene. And Cole goes, well, you know, Amanda. She goes, oh, well, that's too old. Well, maybe we can do one as friends. No. Guess who that didn't go over real well. I'm like, nope, not so much. I'm still old enough to be your daughter. Just saying. But they're really nice. They're probably going to come to crazy one night tonight. They start out as swingers. Oh, did they? And they love swingers parties, so they're probably coming to you. He seems a little. I don't know. He does all her stuff. He's like me in like 20 more years. Yeah, but he has like more of like a military. Just by how he talks, you could tell he was military. Well, but you know, I mean, look at me. I'm pretty fucking. I'm pretty fucking. That's what I am. Fucking no. No. Okay. So quick side note before we got to wrap up. It's like time to go. So a couple things. Keep in mind some some really fucking cool shit that that is. I won't be here for three weeks. Well, you're probably going to do a show again on Sunday. Because he's leaving on Monday. Yeah. So my calendar's open starting Monday evening. Whoever would like to come over and cook dinner for me. I will actually. Now, here's the thing. I'm proud of him. I'm nervous. Because I am going to actually. I've been scheduling some stuff to shoot some Santa porn. But it's just me. So it's going to be just on a tripod shooting. So we'll see how that goes. But I think right now I've got. a potential like five set up. So we'll see how that goes. We'll fucking shoot some content. Yeah. This is going to be a disaster or whatever. It'll be a lot fun. But we'll get more at night. So closer to Hilton Gold. Anyways. His surgery is October. Yes. October 10th is my right hand. So then I'll have a stranger over here to help me for two weeks. And then November 7th is my left hand. And I'll be back to the regular friend. Anyways. So I'm going to have to make a Santa Jackanoff video too. I didn't think about that. Yeah. What Santa does in his life. Anyways, a cup of cocoa and a candy can. It'll be weird. Anywho, a couple cool things at KWN coming up, though, because it is KWN season. It's right around the corner. Quit fucking yawning. It's right around the corner. It's only 153 days away. Not that I'm keeping track or anything. Anywho, we are going to have a Adult Performer Area. So we're actually going to have an area set up where you can meet some. We're working on getting some of the fucking, some porn folks in. Obviously, we'll have Mr. L meet there. We'll have Savory Sunflower. We'll have Honey Bee. We'll have Miss Amanda. Nobody cares about me, so I won't be there. We also, right now. I don't have time to sit there. Fiona, the airline stewardess. No, flight attendant Fiona. Flight attendant Fiona. Yep. She's coming. She's super cool. And like I said, we're working on DD. You have to wear the Santa Speedo again with the sling. Yeah. No. And then we're working on DD White coming. And I've got a couple other male stars coming. We're working on it now. I've got stuff in the hopper. I've got stuff in the hopper. So we should have quite a few there to actually to meet. So it's going to be pretty fucking cool. And you want to check out some cool stuff because we're going to use some AI stuff on other stuff for the end of video. videos and stuff, which is really, really cool. And our newest wall will be in Exotica. So we'll have new pictures of Exotica. Because our newest wall will be there. So we'll have all three walls now. Which is fucking badass. Because we don't have room to put anything else. It's fucking the shit. Flight Attendant Funeral will probably spend some time over in our booth also at Exotica. And I think we're kind of shooting one there again. Who? So Flight Attendant Funeral. So make sure you are getting I'm telling you once exotic hits we sold today alone I sold like 10 tickets to KWN rooms are going so you might want to start getting your rooms up for KWN just saying because we got a lot of stuff coming so and obviously I'll give a shout out now since he bought into bought as well so a sling swing is gonna be one of our sponsors there so we're excited about we're excited about that and we got a couple other sponsors that are coming on as well. So we've got some international people coming. I got confirmed from there. So we're going to have some. It's going to be a fucking crazy fucking party because that's what the fuck we do. So with that being said. All right. Well, what a great show. Don't overlearn anything. Everybody had a great time. I've got a virus and need a new computer tomorrow. Oh, and the other thing is watch Miss Amanda has got an interview tomorrow. I don't know when it will air if it will be live. She will be on. The Smokers Lounge. It is a two-time AVN nominated for Best Podcast Porn Podcast. Some of the biggest names in porn have been on it, and he was excited to have Miss Amanda on it, so that's going to be cool as hell. So check out that and probably have her on a few other shows. I've got some stuff with Jiggy and some others. I'll get you on some other shows. So with that being said, kids, again, shout out to the sponsors, ASM Lifestyle Magazine, MotorBunny.com. ProDXHealth.com. All for dramatic pauses and discreetanddirtyco.com. Check them all out today. Don't forget to check Miss Amanda out. New content is out. You guys don't want to miss it. It's hot as fuck. And she will be at the ranch, so if you're going to Nevada and want to fucking bang Miss Amanda, schedule your appointment now. You can get some. It's sweet. With that being said, kids, doing it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I I ever fucking will. Casbah style out. Bye. Bye.