Krazy Truth about Swinging #332 Total Vacation mode

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm the host with the most cool. I'm here with the lovely, lovely chick, Miss Amanda. Hey. And we're here to titillate and otherwise on the eve of leaving for crazy Vegas nights. Eh. But for those of you following at home, this is episode, well, season eight, episode 332. 3, 3, 2. And we're excited to be here and ready to go. So a quick shout out to our sponsors. Go ahead and get your early yawn in because they might not know what the show is without that. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as in the lifestyle world plus more information recipes events advertisements you name it my sharing million subscribers you're not are you writing for asn magazine now i should you could i can talk to michael this weekend uh anyways make it a habit each and every month to read asn lifestyle magazine.com don't forget their awards going on and you want to vote for us every single day once a day through july 13th for best pro-am casbah studios best female porn star miss amanda best trade show convention expo crazy winter nights best adult takeover crazy winter nights and best social group crazy casbah that would be at asnlifestylemagazineawards.com also uh if you want a quality name that you know you can trust It's not easy. And best social group, Crazy Kazma. That would be at ASNLifestyleMagazineAwards.com. Also, if you want a quality name that you know you can trust in the adult industry when it comes to toys, don't settle. MotorBunny, MotorBunny.com, a name that has been around for a long, long time. Top quality products, whether it be the MotorBunny original or the brand new buck. Check it out today, Motorbunny.com. And finally, testing, we were just talking about it. It is important for everyone. Everybody needs to get tested, and there's no more excuses. Casbah Inc. is proud to be a corporate partner with Basis DX. It's quick. It's easy. It is in the privacy of your own home. Quick turnaround, and it's affordable, complete test. We do use it for all of our adult stuff as well as regular testing. Check it out today, basisdx.com. Make sure you check out our show notes and you can find links for Basis and all of our sponsors. Please visit them if possible. Okay, so we are on the verge of, well, it's Tuesday. Doug, because we record on Tuesdays. And we are actually leaving Thursday morning, but tomorrow night is really worthless to sleep again because we like to fly these stupid fucking
Speaker2: times. Hey, 7.30's late
Speaker1: compared to 5. It is late because we don't get into Vegas until fucking damn near the whole day's shot. Well, okay. We have a massive
Speaker2: layover in Phoenix. Phoenix.
Speaker1: And we don't get into Vegas until 2.45 Thursday. So we'll be on the road to Omaha at fucking 3 a.m. I'm going to stop and drop the car off and all kinds of fucking shit. So luckily we'll be doing that. So we'll basically leave here now until you head to Vegas on Thursday
Speaker2: at 2.45. Wow, he cries a lot
Speaker3: about that. Fuck off we'll be doing that. So we'll basically leave here now until you head to Vegas on Thursday
Speaker2: at 2.45. Wow, he cries a lot
Speaker1: about that. Fuck off. I fucking hate it. Do you know what I'm most excited for?
Speaker3: Suspenders.
Speaker1: Because now we have TSA pre-certified, pre-check. I don't have to take my belt off so I can wear suspenders going through the planing, on the plane, which is perfect because I don't give that if I can belt rub sore from being a fat guy. Just saying.
Speaker3: Anywho.
Speaker2: I just like not having to take shoes off.
Speaker1: I read that they don't have to do, they can still shuffle you if it's two lines to go through a regular line.
Speaker2: Do what?
Speaker1: They can still make you go through a regular line.
Speaker2: Yeah, I know.
Speaker1: Whatever, put that one on heaven.
Speaker2: Omaha's not busy enough.
Speaker1: I'm not worried about Omaha. It's on the way back in Vegas, and I care about it. Well, I care about it everywhere.
Speaker2: What time does our plane leave in Vegas?
Speaker4: Oh, fuck.
Speaker2: Listen to this.
Speaker1: Oh, my God. We have to leave the club at 11.15 at midnight, Sunday night, so we can go drop on the rental car, because our plane leaves Las Vegas at 3 in the fucking, I'm sorry, at 1 in the morning. 1 in the morning. Then we get to Dallas at 6 in the morning because there's a time change. 6 in the morning. We have an hour layover, which isn't shit. And then we don't get home. Then we get into Omaha at 9.30 in the morning. That's still breakfast time. Let me reiterate. Shut the hell up. Let me reiterate what that means. That means I'm leaving Las Vegas, Nevada at 1 a.m. And I'm on a plane or airport all fucking night. Which I wouldn't care as long as there's fucking places open to get food and shit. Just saying. But whatever. It'll be great. Anyways. What? Fuck off, bitch. You fit in those goddamn seats and shit. I don't know. I'll be by some fucking retard moron, motherfucker. You'll be by because you have the aisle seat and I have the middle one. It won't be you. It'll be somebody else. I love red-eye flights. I love red-eye flights because I sleep really good on red-eye flights. I like to turn out the window but I have a middle seat. The plane's all dark. It's quiet. And without a doubt, without ever hesitation, there's one cock fuck on the plane that wants to read a fucking book. No, I'll be watching a movie. And that's fine. I can deal with the movie because it's slight light, but they want to read a book, and they turn on the overhead light, ding, and it's usually really fucking close to me. So every place in the plane is dark except that fucking idiot and me. No. Every mother fucking time. Nah. As God is my witness, I want to cry. I've never been on one that did that. You haven't been on as many red-eyed flights as I have. If you didn't get a time, I want to take their book, reach over, put the little book board in it, close it for them, and then go to sleep. That's what the fuck should happen. Or I get the child, the cute, precious little fucking kid that they've been feeding should keep quiet all day that's wide fucking awake and just wants to fucking yammer. The last flight I was on, the only baby on the flight was in first class. Perfect. The thing is, is most noise, I can out-snore them. And there is something neat about it. On the whole plane, there's just a chorus of snores throughout the plane. Mine usually is way louder. I've had people,'s one poor old lady, I swear to God, this was years ago. I fall asleep on planes. And I woke up on her shoulder I was on her shoulder slobbering. And I was like oh my God, I'm so sorry. She goes you're absolutely really tired. She had like a two and a half hour flight of me like snoring on in her ear. I'm sure she died shortly. I have to go and get me off this fucking earth. Anyways, sure. Yeah, she will. She will fucking keep me. The bitch is, she does it. She continuously worries about everybody else on her plane. Hey, you're snoring. I don't fucking care. I do. This cock knocker with the little kid screaming, they don't give a shit. And this fucking person talking doesn't give a fuck. And this person reading doesn't give a fuck. So why do I care if I'm snoring? It's nighttime. Of course I'm snoring.oring if they'd let me i'd hook up my cbat machine just to make everybody happy but if they were all asleep like they would do then you know what no one would know i was snoring except the the stewardess just saying anyways so you go what i'm gonna do is upgrade his ticket and throw his ass in fucking first class. Fuck yeah.
Speaker3: And then I don't have to deal with shit.
Speaker2: I guarantee you'll still hear me.
Speaker3: Probably.
Speaker1: I cannot start a plane engine any day of the week. I don't know.
Speaker2: I pick the cheap tickets and get the back of the plane.
Speaker1: What did we talk about earlier this year? What did I say about flying?
Speaker2: I was going to fly first class.
Speaker1: I'm only going to fucking fly first class. How many times do many times i phone first class you want to pay for it yes the funny thing is i got the best deal on these airline tickets which means we are so incredibly best deal fucked on where no i paid a total for the two of us 22 okay and she did, and she did. But now wait, let me put this preface in there. The reason she paid $22 for these tickets is because I paid $4,000 for her deposit for her boobs that got us the miles. Yes, it got the miles. I had to spend so much on my credit card to get so many miles, and then it paid for the tickets. And did we go ahead and upgrade? No. So this is going to be $300 a person. Fuck that. I'm not paying an extra $600. I thought you were just sending me up there. Just kidding. I can still upgrade you. No. It's $162 a plane ticket. No, nobody cares about our travel shit. I don't know. It's kind of funny listening to you, bitch, because I don't sleep on planes. Well, maybe you should. I just watch movies. Maybe you should learn to sleep when shit's moving. If I could, I would. You know the best way to do it? Shut your eyes. Shut off all this shit. All week I have not been able to sleep at all well then you should be able to sleep on a fucking plane except melatonin but melatonin put me to sleep for four hours and I was white ass awake again at like midnight like fuck well we can try something new tonight if you want well we can we can I don't know what that would be.
Speaker2: You are such a liar. Oh, my gosh.
Speaker1: Anyways, no, I'm just kidding. Anyways, no, it will be nice. It will be a good time.
Speaker3: It's supposed to be hotter.
Speaker2: I would rather have a nice hotel than expensive plane seats.
Speaker3: Yeah. Agreed. Yeah.
Speaker1: Are we getting that? Anyways, yeah.
Speaker2: It's going to be a nice hotel.
Speaker3: It actually is a nice hotel.
Speaker1: We're back at the Rio. We're at the Riverport, and it's a nice hotel.
Speaker2: It's a nice hotel. It's not the same hotel room that I had before. That was all fun. I mean, the food was eh, okay. It's not as big as the other hotel was. Oh, my God. We're not going to have a 1,600-square-foot school. Hey, God damn it. It's all for you. I want you to have that experience, princess. That was for me. Anyways, so. I found a meme that if you're born in June, you're considered a princess.
Speaker3: Man, I've known you for 32 years and knew that even before you ever put that meme on. Whatever.
Speaker1: Just saying.
Speaker3: It's okay.
Speaker2: I've never acted it. Get over it.
Speaker1: No, you haven't. Anyways, let's talk about some of the people actually give two fucks about.
Speaker2: My birthday's Friday.
Speaker1: Oh, that's what it is. Friday the 13th. That's what people care about. Yep. Go ahead. I'm not going to say shit because when I say shit. That's all I'm going to say about it. No. Oh, fuck. No, it's not. Because when I say shit about it, then I'm going to get fucking made fun of. Because I'm being mean and picking on you because you're fucking going to be 54 and my old lady and two years older than me and all that shit. So if I say anything like that, I get in all kinds of trouble. Just because I'm acknowledging the fact that you've made an extra circle around the sun, congratulations, count the rings, that whole thing. Just saying. I wanted to crack a joke with the doctor who did the boobs to ask him to count the rings to see if it showed. But I didn't. He didn't strike me as a type that would appreciate that humor.
Speaker2: Yeah, probably not.
Speaker1: He was very... Your doc is very excited
Speaker4: about boobs.
Speaker1: Not just like...
Speaker2: He's excited about surgery.
Speaker4: Yeah, he's not as excited
Speaker1: like the way like swinger guys are excited about boobs but just like surgery. Like it's his passion.
Speaker2: You go and watch his Instagram videos because he's really big
Speaker3: I don't know. Yeah, he's not even excited like the way like swinger guys are excited about boobs. It's just like surgery. Like it's his passion.
Speaker2: You go and watch his Instagram videos because he's really big on the whole Instagram because he really just got it started.
Speaker3: Yeah, he's.
Speaker2: And there's one video where he's showing the machine. He goes, and check out this machine. And he's just, I'm like, oh, my God.
Speaker3: That's all right.
Speaker1: It's better than going, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I just cut and stick. Cut and poke, cut and poke.
Speaker4: Anyway, okay.
Speaker1: Now, talk about some of the people who give a fuck about them.
Speaker2: Which is what?
Speaker1: I don't know.
Speaker2: I thought you had this plan. No, I never.
Speaker1: When the fuck have I ever had this plan? Why seriously are we having this meltdown in season eight?
Speaker2: Oh, we had our bowling thingy. Last weekend.
Speaker3: Saturday.
Speaker1: Okay, so you're going to talk about balls. Is that the plan for the day or where's that going I didn't get to toggle any whose fault was that not mine I'm sorry did people forget to come up and fucking place their balls in your hand pretty much they didn't get close enough for me to toggle their butt nuts. Their what? Their butts, their nuts. Their butt nuts?
Speaker2: Well, two guys did. Two guys talked to me.
Speaker1: Did you toggle them?
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Oh, well, you still didn't.
Speaker2: I'm too nice. I don't do that.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker2: Unless you say, touch my balls.
Speaker1: Oh, bullshit. Because I said that before. You're like, we're at a restaurant no or we're doing this no if i do in bed if you say touch my nuts i will no no what you'll say is touch my ball what's in it for me i haven't said that in a very long time i haven't actually touched my ball in a very long time. That's wrong. I did, actually, yes. Yes, you did. But then you joked. Will this get me off? And I was like, maybe if you try really hard. I don't remember that. You're just keeping it real. It's okay. I don't remember that. We'll talk about something they want to hear about. Which is what? I don't know. What do some guys want to hear about? Apparently this was a horrible idea to do a Joe tonight. Put me on the spot. You can handle it. You're 54 years old. There was something earlier today. I was like, oh, that'd be a good podcast. I don't remember what it was. That's funny. What? See, you were thinking about it. I did think about it earlier. I'm like, oh, that'd did think about it earlier and then you fucking went then you went I'm old between the two of us we're fucked I'm just telling you we'll make it up and no one will know what's true and what's not including me I have no idea like i don't know i have no idea i have no fun clue uh no so uh one one interesting a relatively good topic i think to talk about i found this interesting i've seen a bunch of stuff about people talking about how swinger season is it's over swinger season is over and i'm like there's a season yeah that most swinger season is more the wintertime. And I'm like, I don't know that swinger swinging has a season. Unless you only like certain types of events. because the fun part of summer is there's a whole new plethora of a totally different type of events going on. When we first started in the lifestyle, the summer months were slower in terms of going to the bar that everybody met at. Until they had an outside thing. Well, ish. But but for the majority at the beginning of the summer everybody goes on their vacations yeah but i think i i think that i think that there's i think now it's it's there's just different types of swimming events now during the summer i think that i think that well there's just different types of events all the way around. That's actually a pretty decent conversation to have. I talked about it a little bit in one of my rants, my last rant. But how much the type of events and what people want out of the events has changed. I was trying to get out. I'll wait. It's okay. So, because even as we look at crazy summer nights for us, which is our camp, you know, and I was just, I was literally, we were delayed recording because I was on the phone talking about it. The, when we first started crazy summer nights, we had just, we tried to plan and coordinate all these activities and blah. Right. And as through the years, we've gotten smarter. And I think the difference in seasons is that during the summer, you don't need to have as much structure you still need you still need the parameters you still need consent you still need safety and all that shit but you don't need as much structure with summertime events like a picnic shouldn't be planned out to the minute right in real life so lifestyle events are a lot the same way you know there's lots of groups that do pool parties they do river floats they do you know camp outs like what we're doing they do all kinds of different things and part of what makes this time of year so much fun to be a swinger is that it's a totally different set of interacting with people you're not as it's not as stuffy it seems like as i think back through the years i mean your interaction with people you know is more laid back more relaxed more you know well Well, maybe it more has to do with specific activities. What do you mean? Meaning there are some people that refuse to camp. I won't name names. I will, Jessica. I was only going to pick on you. But there are certain people that don't like to camp, but there are some people that love to camp. So it's more catered towards the campers. Righters right there's some going down by a lake if you have a boat and you have jet skis and you have all that funsy stuff that's your little niche right then you'll go down to that one and go party with that one right where other people are like i'm not gonna go do that what's the fun in that you're hanging out on a boat by yourself but but i think how people interact with those events is different yeah but and which i mean it it follows suit with real life because obviously when you when you go to if your company's having some sort of outdoor activity your interaction is totally different it's totally laid back which that's part of the fun of swinging at these type of events is that it's like it's big open spaces so you can feel safer. You know, if you're in a hotel and you pull somebody off to the side to talk, it can look like you're trying to sneak them away. can look you know it can make people feel uncomfortable but it's the value of the great outdoors that big open space that allows you people to talk and to flirt more and everybody can see so there's an added degree I think of safety for that and I think that just outside in general promotes a more laid back I'll see you next time. just outside in general promotes a more laid-back type of event. I think as an event coordinator or a planner and organizer, the trap that we fall into or can is you're so used to how you do events and how to put so many things to keep people busy. It's like a little kid, right? When a little kid, during the summer, it's like, go play. But during the school year, and they're trapped inside. It's like, okay, do this, now this. True, true. But I think sometimes as a coordinator, or if you're going to put on an event, it's easy to start. You're still in that mentality, right? That you're like, okay, so then we'll have this event if you want to do this. I mean, think about our first fucking couple of KSNs, right? We'll have games going over here. We'll have this over here. When the reality is, is that if you let people, we're all caged in, fenced in. If you let people just do what they want, and for some people, like at KSN, for example, it's laying out naked all day long, bucking, whatever. Having a beer, having drinks, having a smoke, whatever, and just chilling out.
Speaker2: It's more walking around naked, getting in the pool naked.
Speaker1: Yeah, the pool. Some people like to go, you'll see them paddling around, laying around on the pond, or'll see we're going hiking, or you'll see if people want to play games, they do. And if you just, as an event planner, just let people do that, your event becomes way more successful. And it becomes more successful because you're not stressed out about it. Because I can honestly say, when I think back to our first couple KSNs, I was stressed in the box. Because I'm like, well, there's nobody doing this.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: What about this?
Speaker3: What about this?
Speaker1: Our biggest KWN, we had so many activities going on, and we were running amok, and everybody had a blast, and people still did exactly whatever it was they wanted to do, and if we could have had half the number of activities, people still were going to have fun. It was super hot. People were still, you know, sitting in the pool like Serengeti and it's just it was so it's just i mean that whole fucking thing so it's like to to try not to do too much the other thing i think is is a huge part of the lifestyle when it comes to seasonal stuff is for as an i know when you put on events we set our standards we have goals whether it be we forget that 10 people on an event can be just as much fun for those 10 people as if there's 100 people and 100% full transparency full disclosure I am that guy to a fucking T like I'm a numbers guy number want to grow or they have fun how they have fun just are people to grow during the summer taking all of those factors out i mean obviously there's cost factors you have to keep in mind somewhat right you have to know numbers because you depend on what you're providing but taking that out your people will have more fun if you're not sweating it yeah if you're sweating and i know jessica you see me pile past people you know and arrest like when things if when i do that in an event, it attracts attention. You don't say. Just add something nice with that. But it attracts attention, and the problem is, is that it attracts the attention of people, like, what's going on? It takes away from the activities. So if I'm laid back, because there's not some activity that I have to run to, then other people are more laid back accordingly. I think it's a natural thing that happens. I think that swingers need to try some of these other activities maybe they've never done. If you've never done, you know, we give Jessica crap about it on campus. She went to KSN last year. She gave it a try. It wasn't her thing. It wasn't her thing. And that's okay. That's okay. Rock on. But she gave it a try. And I think that if you're listening to this, check out some of the events in your area. That means you won't know if you like it unless you try it at least once. The worst thing that can happen is you waste a day, a weekend, a couple hours, whatever, and go, eh, that's not for me. the best the flip thing can happen is you waste a day a weekend a couple hours whatever and go and that's not for me the best the flip side of that is you may find someone that is a fucking blast or you may may meet somebody that is super cool or you may be the most relaxing fucking weekend you could ask for and and you hear all the time people go i only like i don't like big things i I don't, I only like hotels, or. I don't like this. And, again, I'm picking on Jessica. But to use her example, she said, camping's not really my thing. But she wanted to try it. She gave it a try. And here's the other thing is how she gave it a try was important. She went all in. She didn't go in, it's going to suck. She. She was like open-minded. Okay, did it convert her over to being a camper? No. She was drunk when we got there. She's just like all giggly. Yeah, she was running around drunk as fuck. So, yeah, she was, but I mean, you know, but she found that she would enjoy it if she could get one of the cabins.
Speaker3: Right?
Speaker2: So, but still, and that's the stuff.
Speaker1: If I think the intimidating part of summer activities, and I speak from this as a guy with body dysmorphia and just body issues, there's less clothes. So it's, you can't, you can't hide. or you don't feel like you can hide i know one's paying attention no i know for me that i like you know it's in to go to a pool party is more intimidating for me because i'm a big guy and i'm a pasty motherfucker to put it mildly. I don't tan tan i'm the dude that has to be slathered in sunscreen whatever so it's like i i think that we get in our own heads a lot a lot more with summertime activities than we deal with winter activities yeah i think especially guys because if you think about it, a lot of gals are dressing pretty fucking revealing at winter activities which takes a whole separate level of courage but I think for guys where you're like you know it's hard to be the dude with the t-shirt on in the pool. I mean, it just is. Not the only one, though. No, and part of the world is because I sunburn and also because I'm bloated. I mean, so you feel there's a more exposed thing. So I think that it's easier just to not try some things like that or go to that when the reality is just go and be you, however, whatever is comfortable. If that's slathering sunscreen, if that's wearing a fucking T-shirt in the pool, whatever it is, do it and just see. Because, yeah, once you realize that no one is actually paying any attention. Right. Or somebody might be, and it's because they want to fuck you. I mean, there's that. That's always there. You never know. You can't say anything, so I'm not just carrying this fucking show.
Speaker2: I don't interrupt.
Speaker1: Kind of hoping you will.
Speaker2: Do you not gather that? I do gather it. Have I ever interrupted you?
Speaker3: Okay. I mean.
Speaker1: Well, let's say some parameters with that.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: I was going to say what we're talking about.
Speaker3: During a podcast.
Speaker1: Are we talking about an argument?
Speaker3: No, because I'll step right the fuck up. I know. It's neat. Believe it or not, you know what would be awesome? Let them know you have a voice. We just did an interview the other day, and they had to ask her a question specifically just so people knew. That I did talk. That she did talk. Do you have something you'd like to add? No. Oh, you fucking bitch. You're such a fucking cunt. I'm not either. Yes, you are. There's got to be something. You have opinions. When we're riding in the car, you have opinions about everything. I didn't say it bad. No. Wow. No. Don't even go there. That's calling me an opinionated bitch.
Speaker1: No, I'm just, no! I didn't say you have stupid opinions. I said you have an opinion. There's a difference.
Speaker3: The
Speaker1: thing is, is that you know, you have opinions. They're generally intelligent opinions. When we're doing
Speaker2: a podcast, it sounds way more intelligent coming from your mouth than mine.
Speaker3: Okay. Do you know what?
Speaker1: We'll learn how to be a vanquilatrist, and I'll fucking go like this.
Speaker2: In school, I hated vocabulary. I tried not to learn them, and I did just enough to pass a test and then forgot the word.
Speaker1: Okay, well, here's the test.
Speaker2: So my vocabulary is very small.
Speaker1: So is my dick, but we still keep moving on. Thank you, apparently. That's what I'm saying. the test and then forgot the word okay well here's my vocabulary is very small so it's my dick but we still keep moving on thank you let's watch our interview with casey what was my interview and you were my assistant i was there you're small enough that if i could figure out how to work your mouth like that with using your hair we could do a ventriloquist act if i could learn how to fucking throw my voice or have you talk because you can sit in my lap it'd be so random and rare Here we go. using your hair. We could do a ventriloquist act if I could learn how to fucking throw my voice or have you talk. Because you could sit on my lap. It'd be so random and rare. Yeah. I'm just saying. You have to have people free to see us. That'd be great. And you see how when he talks and he hits the table? With the interview with Casey Carter, I had it on this tiny tripod. I don't even think it's in here anymore. Yeah, it is. This little tripod. So it's sitting on the table and every time I go ahead the phone, one time the phone fell over and said, you can't hit the table. Leave the table alone. I didn't make the touch table. And there's kind of a lot of time I made it to her. She's holding my hand. Okay, so what are some good summertime tips? Not tits, tips. Tips are the end of tits. That you would give. It's been a great ride in this whole eight years of this show, I swear to God.
Speaker2: I don't know.
Speaker1: People look at you as a champion of women and fucking health and success in this industry. The fuck they don't, goddammit.
Speaker3: Whatever.
Speaker1: So live up to it.
Speaker2: No, when it comes to swinging, you can't... Don't just quit on the summer unless you're busy. I'm sorry.
Speaker1: I'm sorry.
Speaker2: I'm sorry.
Speaker1: I'm sorry.
Speaker2: I'm sorry.
Speaker1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker2: I'm sorry.
Speaker1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm're busy doing family things. I think the most important thing is, let's be like all the other shows, shall we? Fuck family. I think your number one priority at all time should be swinging and swinging. My gosh, don't you know? We could talk about all these hookups we had. What hookups? I remember exactly. Because there's been so many. You've had more than me. Okay, the brothel and shooting content doesn't count. Why? Was there dicks involved? I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just no one wants... I applied, and no one was like, yeah, let's hire you. I don't think I would... There was not very many girls came in that could pop out of the lineup and be like, ta-da! What, at the brothel? Yeah. Just saying. There's some you could have fooled. Just saying. So, you know.
Speaker3: Oh, what is it?
Speaker1: Don't. Don't put mosquito repellent on your privates.
Speaker3: There's that.
Speaker2: Does it burn?
Speaker3: I don't know.
Speaker1: I've never done that. If a mosquito bit my penis and it made it bigger, is that like a form of natural Viagra? That's kind of interesting. Actually, it would be like natural trimix. Get it? That's funny shit right there. If you get that joke, that's funny shit. It would turn red. And then all of a sudden, people are looking at it going, oh my gosh, do you have a disease? The thing is, if if it swelled up with a shot. Get it? Yes, I got it. That's funny shit right there. I could take a shot in a nut sack. It wouldn't be a big deal because if it poofed up, it looked like it had two nuts again. You can't tell. You only have one. You don't know that. Yes, I've seen it. Oh, yeah, you have. Actually, no. Okay, so this is a great show. It's going absolutely nowhere. You have no tips? Helpful, helpful. Skin tips? How do you still look young for your age? No, how I did majority of my life is avoid the sun. This episode brought you by suntan lotion. No, really. No, I just avoided the sun. I didn go out in the sun. This episode brought you by suntan lotion. Not really. No, I just avoid the sun. I didn't go out in the sun. You always panic people at KSUN. It's so funny. Because you burn, and then it tans overnight. But every year old people go, oh, but she's getting too burnt. She's getting too burnt. Because you're walking on just fucking. Last year I didn't. If I recall, it was chilly and I was wearing a jacket most of the time. One year you did and everybody just panicked. Because my sunscreen was outdated. Did you know that it can go bad? It's like semen. Check the dates on your sunscreen before you go out. It's like semen. Isn't that what I'm most excited about for KSN? Semen? No. Oh, what? No, going to the Amish The Mennonite store. There's sausage. Yeah, I need to replenish my stash. Anyways, okay. Well, there you go. I don't know. I got nothing. Wow. Well, I mean, I was planning. I had, like, all these thought processes and some emails I got. I got all this stuff. And then I got Butterfly trying to get ready for Vegas because I was making sure I let people know what's going on with Vegas. Some people I think I love right now. I don't really know. But there's somebody coming from Hawaii to go to crazy Vegas nights. Yeah, Hawaii. That's nice. So, but yeah.
Speaker2: We'll miss the beginning of the pool party.
Speaker1: We'll miss the entire first pool party.
Speaker2: It's okay.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker2: They have it to where, if you can't check into your hotel, you can come hang out there for a while.
Speaker1: We'll be there first night for the party. But yeah, so I had all these gratities and I got butterfly. So this is basically going to be one of those shows that I'd have a show about nothing. Thank you. So I had all these gratities, and I got Butterfly. So this is basically going to be one of those shows that I do a show about nothing. A show about nothing. Kind of. You can make it about something. Well, we're midway through, and we've come up with nothing. The show kind of took a plunge. A show took a plunge after we did the sponsors from there. It's been kind of downward. Eh, it's... No, we talked about summer. Summer's important.
Speaker3: Just saying.
Speaker1: Trying to get these shows edited. That's right.
Speaker3: That's right.
Speaker2: You don't want that one.
Speaker3: What is...
Speaker1: I can't read that. Oh, my Lord.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: Good God.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: It's called relationship talk. Yeah. No. Yeah, no. Absolutely fucking not. No. God. No. We're just going to count yawns. What we're going to do is the second half shows at drinking camp. Fuck off. No, no. Quit telling me to fuck off. I get to flick your titties. Oh, hey, this is something fun we're going to do. We're going to do some pictures. So we're going to do a before
Speaker2: motorboat and after motorboat.
Speaker1: We'll make sure we post those. Goof-ass.
Speaker2: Oh, my gosh. You're a goof- ass. Are you nervous
Speaker1: about that at all? No. Just excited? I just don't. I just am different? Indifferent? How much do you think is going to change your personality? Not your personality, but how do you think it's going to change your self self-image?
Speaker3: Because I mean,
Speaker1: you're not doing it for other people. You're doing it because you want to do it. I want cleavage again. Right. So how much do you think because I mean you're not doing it for other people you're doing it because you want to do it I want cleavage again so how much do you think we both agree it will probably have some effect on the other stuff we do but how much do you think it will change like your thought process of yourself or your body or your body image? Well, somewhat. Because not much there. I lost weight and I lost a lot of it. So a lot of it is just floppy skin. I think that'll be interesting. How did I explain to somebody at the bowling alley? It's when you're doing doggy and you look at the video and your boob is this tiny, moving back and forth. I just mean, you know, I'm interested in the rest of real life. Would it be cool to be able to walk around without a bra? Yes. And not, like, have them down to your waist. Will you be more apt to do that? Because that's never been your style, even when you were younger. Not ripping them in that, but that was never your style. They don't recommend you do it too much. Right, but there was. Would I be more apt to? There was a time that you would never have went to. You weren't going to the store for nothing without having a bra on. You weren't going out of the house. You just didn't do it. Do I necessarily think it's appropriate to go to a store with your nipples just... Yes. God, yes. But that's my thing, is would you... I understand that part. What I'm trying to get to is how will it change things, or how do you think it will affect real life? So many times we do things to change our looks, whatever, especially if you're in the lifestyle, because of the lifestyle, right? So this is something that obviously
Speaker3: Thank you. do things to change our looks whatever especially if you're in the lifestyle because of the lifestyle
Speaker1: right so this is something that obviously carries over well it's obviously going to help your self-confidence well yeah i i don't know i'm not getting mine done so that's i'm are you sure yeah i'm just i'm gonna have a reduction i'm just wondering that's what i'm trying to fish out
Speaker2: from you is it'd be cute to have the lingerie where your boobs look all full and stuff and not
Speaker1: Thank you. It'd be cute to have the lingerie where your boobs look all full and stuff and not. Can I ask how it's going to affect you in real life and your day-to-day, regular life stuff outside of. Makes you feel prettier. You don't think I'd wear lingerie underneath clothing? Why? No. No. I don't think if you fucking had something done, if you pierced your pussy pussy that all of a sudden you were going to start wearing underwear again because lingerie underwear i don't see you doing well i didn't say underwear but it just depends i've worn some today you didn't know that's because i was going to the doctor right but what i said was if you had your pussy pierced, I didn't think it would cause you to do that.
Speaker2: Well, no, but that's not the same
Speaker3: thing. Okay.
Speaker2: Not even close to the same thing. Am I paranoid about my piercings because I'm supposed to take them out a week ahead of time? Yes. I already have it set up
Speaker1: time. Somebody haven't put them back yet. I know. I was just looking for the overall, the deeper, just the lifestyle stuff. I didn't say just the lifestyle stuff because I did say self-confidence, did I not? You did. You did. It's going to be the shortest show ever. Let's just wrap this up. Will it make me feel prettier? Is that what you're looking at? But that's because of's self-confidence the thing is is i'm not looking for any right or wrong answer i'm just trying to have an understanding because as a 54 year old woman you're doing something most people your age don't do and so because you are a person that does things for more than just outside influences it's things that you want to do that's something you want to do and the people would be interested to hear how they how that you came around to that decision and what that's the effect you think that's going to have there's a reason you don't want to have giant fucking watermelon tits fake tits you you want them to look natural you want them to i mean those are all things that are important to you so my assumption would be is that that carries over i don't think that you want giant solid tits like this in your real life even if it made you a million dollars in porn i don't think it would make you feel comfortable in your real life no i wouldn't i like to to be able to look cute and close all these women that have these big boobs have all this cleavage wearing low-cut blouses and i can't do that because i have these flabby things basically you're hoping to be able to hold pencils and other items in your tents i could and i can hold my phone in my bra night now i can't do that we will have games and activities like that maybe we could do that we could play quarters off your tits at crazy summer nights there there you go there you go that's you figured out what we're gonna what larry say will you change the way you buy clothes?
Speaker2: Will you want to show them off more? Will you keep them covered?
Speaker1: Thank you, dude.
Speaker3: Thank you. Good question.
Speaker2: I think to some degree I would buy more low-cut stuff because you'll be able to see it.
Speaker1: Will I go and just buy a whole new wardrobe? Probably not my clothes fit i'll probably still wear them i'm still a t-shirt type person we'll just be cut all the way down to here uh will you sell advertising on top of can we have boob sponsors no seriously. Seriously, you wouldn't do that?
Speaker3: They're not going to be that big.
Speaker1: If someone wanted to pay five grand to have their logo,
Speaker3: a sticker on your tit, you wouldn't do that? A sticker, yes. Tattoo, no. Why didn't it say permanent?
Speaker1: Because then you've got to have cross-outs and shit.
Speaker2: There's so many good times it's good for me, like a sticker.
Speaker3: Let's do a sticker.
Speaker2: Okay, all right.
Speaker3: So if you'd like to be a sponsor of Mr. Mabes' worth a try you never fucking know okay let's wrap this show wow 42 minutes in he feels like he's just floundering and struggling I'm done trying to pull teeth thank god Larry came to Larry good job're not going to be that much bigger. I'm more upset I sold all my bras that would fit me later. I sold all of them. Get rid of that old crap. Well, they weren't that old. New tits, new bras. That's the way to do it. They were still Victoria's Secret bras. They were still good. Well, but you know, who wants to put new shit? You don't take and put ratty old car seats in a brand new car. They weren't that old. That's why I sold them. It doesn't matter. It's still. I just bought them. I'm like, you got, these are going to have the new tit smell and you're going to, that should be a t-shirt. Is that a thing of smell? That could be a t-shirt. Oh my God. That's gross. A new tit smell. Larry, tell Brenda to write that down. Mmm. That new tit smell. That's going to be awesome, actually. But anyway, so you want to put new. Does it smell like rubber? Maybe. I don't know. That would be fucking amazing. No, it wouldn't. That would be horrible. It'd be like sniffing markers. Oh, my God. It would be like rubber cement. It would be like, oh, you'd be getting all like fucking, like a high, like a junior high kind of high sniffing glue wow now i can't wait what size are you going up to it's supposed to 22 double d no 22 triple wow i'm a 32 oh she's getting but it's like double d they're gonna be the size of my head, each one. 320 to 360.
Speaker2: And he better go to the 360 because that looked right. We kind of told him that we'd probably go to the bigger one.
Speaker1: Yeah, I tried to get her to add a squeaker, and she wouldn't even ask him about that. So once he puts her under her, I'll bring in a squeaker toy and see what good we can do. Tithuffin. Tithuffinuffing that's larry put that down too tit huffing why is larry is it larry's secretary no brenda is but larry's directing uh so yeah yeah that would be good tit huffing yeah that's that's they'll still be soft though yeah they be like that one guy with, like, cement tits. There was a guy at the brothel. You just wanted to go, how hard is it? And you wanted to poke it, because it was just. Hers will have memory foam. Okay, your double D and my double D are two totally different things. Well, yeah, hers aren't hers. Hers are on you. Hers will have memory foam. No, mine will be smaller. They have memory foam. They don't have memory foam, but they have memory. Because when we were playing with the implants, not playing with them, but touching the implants, to be more natural, it actually held its shape for a little bit, which I don't know if that's really. I mean kind of anyway so my bra my boobs aren't it's no i didn't think it did that much i don't think it did a ton but i mean you know what i didn't i didn't play with it a lot at the thing because it was kind of starting to look weird you wanted to my brother asked. My brother asked me if I grabbed two of them in Motorbutt. Oh, my gosh. No, but I thought about it because I've been funny as hell. Thing is, is I used to be a double D before I lost weight. And then I lost weight and they went down to a flabby-ass C. So, yeah. So now we'll just get the skin filled in. I'm excited to see what will bounce off our boobs and how far we can bounce it off our boobs.
Speaker2: So is that going to be a game at KSN?
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: Actually, probably. Larry, write that down. We need to practice it.
Speaker2: We need to find items to bounce off
Speaker1: tits. I'm sure we can. Ice, quarters, straws,
Speaker3: penises.
Speaker1: I'm sure we can find a plethora I don't know. off tits i'm sure we can ice quarters straws penises okay we'll find i'm sure we can find a plethora of things to try and then we got to find out because look this is all for science we got to find out if the right tit has the same bounce as the left tit because what if one tit is a flat spot? Well, you know my left one's going to be lower. Well, I understand. Because it's naturally that way anyway. Look, if we're going to shoot them into a cup or something, we'll have to change the angle. I get that. I'm just talking how much spring energy. I wonder if they could put springs in your tits. No. I also didn't ask them to see if she could start lactating again, but that's.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: Just saying.
Speaker2: No.
Speaker1: I'd put them in the fridge. That'd be a milkshake.
Speaker2: Not how that works.
Speaker4: All right.
Speaker1: Yep. All for science. Larry, you and I need white lab coats, I'm just saying. We want to look official in goggles and rubber gloves like we're going to do a fucking either wash dishes or a big exam. All right. With that being said, hey, it's been a great show. We're getting the fuck to do it. See, even Tina goes to do it for science. Everybody everybody We can do a raffle to name them. Name my tits. Oh, that would be fucking awesome. Good eye. Are they one name or one name and one name? No. two separate names so that we can up the raffle sales. It's all for Kaz McHarris. Keep it up, Larry. That's a good one.
Speaker3: I like that.
Speaker1: I didn't even think about that.
Speaker2: The raffle king didn't think of that.
Speaker1: No shit, man. That's fucking brilliant.
Speaker3: Wow.
Speaker1: And we can do it at each event. You can, like, raffle ownership. Remember when in school they had, like, the one home project where they gave you, like, an egg to take care of or whatever? We can, like, take care of your tit for a week thing or something. I didn't go through that. I didn't either, but I saw people that did. Just saying. Instead of a kissing booth. A motorboat booth. Oh, that's awesome. Truth and justice. We're going to get some great use out of your tits. Apparently. I'd like you to meet our newest corporate. Can I touch them? I'd like to get to the newest corporate officer of Casma, Inc., Mutt and Jeff. I was just saying. That's going to be sweet. That's going to be perfect. All right. So you'll have your own booth at CASMA, at KWN. I still have two weeks to go, two weeks from yesterday. And I keep grabbing them and blowing them to help, and it just doesn't do anything. I haven't yet. I will on the plane. All right. With that being said. all right, with that being said, I keep it iffy if I do that with her tits and she'll do it with my dick to pull up another ball. See what I'm doing? It's not just me being an asshole before I get letters. Okay. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for the sponsors. I'm not going to do all this shit again tonight. I don't even care anymore. Thank you all so very much. We do appreciate it. We will have updates. You don't see me go live or shit. I'm sure why I'm in Vegas because I tend to do that on occasion. You do that? I do that. What was that?
Speaker2: Don't. Leave my head alone.
Speaker1: You want to try it with mine? No. Lower. Anyways, with that being said, doing the only way I know how, doing the way I want to...
Speaker2: In the only way I know how, the only way I want to in the...
Speaker1: In the only way I ever fucking will. Doing it the only way... Wait a minute, what the fuck is it? Oh my god, I haven't thought about it. With that being said, doing it the only way...
Speaker2: I know how.
Speaker1: The only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever fucking will.
Speaker3: Wow!
Speaker1: Alzheimer's disease. Casper style.
Speaker3: Out.
Speaker1: Look at that show. This show's fucked up.