Krazy Truth about Swinging #330 Just not interested

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth About Swinging. I'm your host with the most, I'm Cole. I'm here with the lovely, lovely and soon to be much bigger tinted Miss Amanda. Hey. And we're here to tantalate, titillate. Oh, God. We're here to tantalate, titillate, and otherwise, we're glad to have her back in studio, in state, for a short time. In state, yes. In state. And she'll be leaving again soon. Of course, I don't mind the dry weather that I was going through. Probably not.
Speaker2: My hair wasn't as much of a rag.
Speaker1: But the rest of you was.
Speaker3: Right. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker1: For those of you following at home, this is season 8, episode 330 of our HBO.
Speaker2: Did you look that up first?
Speaker1: I did. I wrote down a note, too, so I remember it. And we're here to channel it. Quick shout-out to our sponsors before we get too far down the road. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. I don't know, too, so I remember it. And we're here to channelate and titillate. Quick shout-out to our sponsors before we get too far down the road. ASNLifestyleMagazine.com. If you want to know what's going on in the adult world as well as the lifestyle, make it a habit to read ASNLifestyleMagazine.com each and every month. We were on the cover this year. Yep. And they've got their awards going on. You can still vote for us in multiple categories. Anything that says crazy or Casbah is us. Don't forget to vote for Miss Amanda as well. Once a day, every single day, you can vote. ASNLifestyleMagazineAwards.com. Check it out. Also, hey, don't just spend money on any toy. Get a quality toy, sex toys that you know you can count on a name you can trust. Motorbunny, motorbunny.com, the top in name brand sex toys for years and years. It'll be that vagina straight to a happy pulp every single time, motorbunny.com. And finally, safety is my concern. It's your concern. It's everybody's issue and concern in the lifestyle. We do it. We believe in it. We sport it, obviously, for the adult world as well as for swingers. Basis DX. Check the show notes. You can get a link right to their website. Discrete, price effective, quick, and easy. Basis DX. In the comfort of your own home. In the comfort of your own home. That's right. Eliminating excuses and keeping you safe in the lifestyle.
Speaker3: There you go.
Speaker1: Okay, so we are back. Finally, we took a slight hiatus again, as we've done a lot. Remember whenever you see that.
Speaker2: First, happy Pride Month.
Speaker3: That's right.
Speaker1: That's correct. Yes, it is June 1st, which is Pride Month. Very much happy Pride Month to all of our listeners. If you're not, you know what? You might know somebody that is. Maybe you don't even know that they are. It's about love and respect. Treat people that way. You know, it's really weird. I saw a bunch of pages today. People talking about, in the lifestyle, rude comments in other groups about Pride Month. Seriously? Uh-huh. So don't forget, swingers, don't be assholes. The thing is, is we're supposed to be an accepting group. If you're not, and you can't accept people for their lifestyle, which includes bi, gay, lesbian, trans, then maybe the lifestyle's not for you. Just saying. But yeah. Wow. That's impressive. So, just the thing is, is how can best way to celebrate Pride Month? Be cool to everybody. It's not that difficult. We're going to miss the parade here in town. Yeah, again, it's your birthday when we're in Vegas, yes. So I looked at Vegas. I'm like, when do they have Pride Month? October. I'm like, oh, well, at least it's cooler. Yeah. Well, and that's, it's, yeah. So if there is events, check out if there's something you want to go see or go be a part of. Just be supportive. There's Pride events all over the country. You know, it goes a long ways. And like I say, really, seriously, just fucking be cool to each other. It's not that fucking difficult. It really isn't. But, yeah, absolutely happy happy pride month uh so we are back we've been gone for a while we tend to whenever you stick any time off yeah but it it's kind of throws things for a loop when i'm gone for a couple weeks at a shot after after eight years of doing this that's the that's the the nature of the beast now we're not as religious as we had good before I left to pre-record. We had good intentions. Look, the reality of this is we've kicked around going to bi-monthly show. We've kicked about ending the show. We've kicked around about monthly or even quarterly. Because we're in a different spot. After eight seasons, it's a long time to be doing this show. Yeah, we've had people go, no, you can't go.
Speaker2: I love listening to you. And we're like, oh.
Speaker1: Yeah, so we're still kind of trying to figure it out. So you kind of get us. It's like Johnny Carson. That'll date me as fuck. You know, guest hosts, we just don't do it as much as we should. But we're recording a bunch, so we should have a bunch going for the next couple of weeks and whatever. Yeah, because this is not filmed in front of our live studio audience. What's funny is I've got to record like fucking 15 rants. They do. Oh boy. I'm way behind on those also. Yay. You know why that is? Because I don't know how to run the equipment without you here. I believe that. Actually, you took that one with you. No, I did. I took my laptop. Oh, excellent. So it is, I just don't know how to run the equipment. Perfect. You're correct. That's awesome. So a lot of the short version of what's going on in our world. Lots of things. You just got done with a second tour out at the ranch. You were gone for about two and a half weeks this time. Definitely. I mean, we're not going to make the show dedicated to the ranch this time, but a a better experience than you had the first time. Better experience? It didn't. They always say the first time around is your roughest, and it was. But this time around, you know, it didn't bother you as much when you weren't picked out of a lineup, and it didn't knock your self-confidence down it's like okay but i have way more success
Speaker2: being picked out of a lineup right right you know the vibe of the house with the girls is a little negative which happens but a house full of women how can you expect it not to you're gonna it's gonna go in cycles it really is there was employment changes there was you know all kinds of different things so it's through a lot of people for a loop it's it's like anything else
Speaker1: I'll see you next time. cycles it really is there was employment changes there was you know all kinds of different things so it threw a lot of people for a loop it's it's like anything else it's like any other place of employment the difference is you're there 24 hours you don't leave yeah and so that that happens you can hide in your room which i did the second part of the week right but that's you know again the thing is is the more most important thing is is that how you process the information is different it lived up all the girls told you at the first one the first one's the hardest yeah and it lived after that you go back again in september and in september you're gone for basically the whole month you're gone september 10th until the last day of the month you You fly home, I think you come home like October 1, actually. And the last weekend of September is this huge biker thing. Right. Poker run. There's like lots of bikes. You'll probably actually come home the 2nd. Oh, of October. Of October. So a long stint. A long stint. But obviously, and we went into this one going, if you didn't like it, you weren't going to go back, and you're planning to go back. So that's good. So we had that, obviously, Memorial Weekend, just trying to get stuff ready. We're coming up on a couple of big events. We're really excited. We haven't really talked about it, is our bowling event. We said we only do the three events, and we have folks that put on CASBA meet and greet or work with one of our event coordinators, Jessica. She works with other groups, and they do multi-group meet and greets and whatever, and we try to attend when we can. But we're excited because we're actually doing just a – because your birthday will be in Vegas at Crazy Vegas Nights. We want to do an event, celebrate your birthday here, and just an appreciation event. And we've always talked about wanting to do this. So we're actually doing, it's free. We rented a bowling alley. We took, and it's free. We're covering free bowling for like four or five hours. I think that's what it is, five hours. I think we've got 200-plus people coming right now right now and we're excited to do it it's just a way to say thank you to all the people that have been supportive of us uh through the through the years and and through this last year and everything else so it's exciting to get to do that because it's something we've talked about oh it'd be so cool to do an event that we didn't have to charge anybody anything for and we've finally been able able – it worked out that we were able to do it. So that's pretty exciting. So we've got that coming up in a week or – well, not even a week. Well, we'd like for them, you know, for those attending to show their support and to buy drinks and food. I don't think anybody's not going to buy drinks. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Support the business because they let us come in there and have this. Yeah, and they've let us have other meet and greets and they've been really cool they know what we're what our groups are and they've been really really cool and that that's you know when we can when we can give back to groups or businesses that support the lifestyle like that because they don't have to yeah and they've always been super cool we we love getting to do that so and then we're at home for less than like a week and and then we're off to vegas because we have crazy vegas nights so we had got to go we've been at whispers once our entire year we got to be in vegas which that we had the coolest hotel room we need to figure out a way to put rooms we had a hotel room in vegas that was old school no that was old school vegas yeah 1600 square feet we could see the entire strip all the lights all the lights. It was awesome. So we've been on the road a lot. We're getting ready to go back on the road a lot for the month. And then, yes, then we are going to be in a situation because you are getting a boob job. And then for like the next eight weeks, six weeks, because then it's six weeks after you're out of surgery, you can do nothing. So I'm excited. That means I'm going to be running around. You can't lift more than like eight gallons or eight gallons. Eight gallons. No, you can't lift more than 10 pounds. 10 pounds. And, you know, that includes laundry. Yeah, laundry, driving, groceries, breathing.'t drive. Breathing. You can't. For the first two weeks, you can't live there. So, but it's exciting because it's something you wanted to do. And we're all about living your best life now. And it was cool because the doctor said to you in your first appointment, he was surprised when he saw your age. He goes, wow, a 53-year-old and you just want a boob job. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I want an augmentation. They're flabby. There's nothing left. They're deflated. That's what I call them, deflated. And he goes, okay, well, that's unusual because usually his clientele is way younger unless they're having breast reconstruction after a mastectomy. Yeah. So I just am fortunate enough that I'm just going to have fun. Just started stripping later in life. It is what it is. We're hoping they'll pay for themselves. So during that time frame, you know, watch her Twitter because you'll be able to put stuff like give Miss Amanda gifts. Send her shit, please. Send me gift cards for me, whatever. So, no, it'll be cool. He might want food gift cards so he doesn't have to cook. God, no. And Santa season's already starting. Yeah. Because we're doing year-round Santa stuff, obviously. And so adult advertising, we've already got stuff for in August when we're in Florida. We've got some gigs that I'm going to be doing, shooting some commercials of Santa and whatever. So we're on the go so we're excited uh and we hope you guys are coming along for the ride well updates and everything else but and then once once case it's crazy summer nights get here then we are fucking back on the road and probably really don't stop again until after crazy winter nights literally because once we get done traveling santa season starts my regular Santa season starts. That's true, Santa season. And shit gets crazy. I'm like, no, because, you know, we have August, then we have September. We have all of September. Well, no, September, I'm gone. Right, and then we have... Then October is exotica. Uh-huh, and we'll be shooting a lot because someone's got to make up for all the time they're fucking slacking around. And who's going to need to make content? I guess November then starts Santa season. Santa season. Never mind. Yeah. And last year we did almost 60 Santa gigs. So, and that was just. And we already had the one hospital book us both again. And that was just vanilla Santa gigs. That doesn't even include all the adult Santa stuff that we're doing. So it's going to be crazy. But that's all right. That's what makes it all fun. So today, though, we have a topic. And this was your – I'm going to let you talk about the topic a little bit because this was your idea of the topic. One of the things that fucking Zippy is going to have to do while she's laying around doing nothing is thinking topics.
Speaker2: I come across topics that are actual life stories that happened. It wasn't like it was just a fluke. I just came up with it on the top of my head. No, I didn't. Don't diminish it. I'm just glad you came up with something that made me so I didn't have to think of it. What did I name that? Oh my God, she's already fucking forgot. It was her fucking idea. It was basically talking about the fact it was basically about i was just curious what it was actually what i named it on here are you serious right now i cast ideas oh leading people on leading people on and away we go and away we go so what am i bringing this up yeah i don't care okay so when you talk to somebody via chat messenger in person whatever do you give them do you give them a definite yes or no if you're interested or not? Okay, this will be the last topic that Amanda brings up because we start wrapping up like an ass. No, I've done it. No. I've done it because I don't want to hurt people's feelings.
Speaker1: I'm a salesman. It's what I do.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So I am always, it's a never say never. I'm never going to paint myself into a corner that I can't do something or I'm never going to paint myself into a corner that I have to do something so I am the king of ambiguous answers which in turn means I am the king of leading a situation not not a person, a situation. I have tried, as I've gotten, as we've went along in the lifestyle, to get better at not doing that as much or to make sure to read the person better that I'm talking to because a lot of times if I'm not thinking about it, I'm going to, yep, you know, that's something we'll have to look into when I'm thinking about a situation. And I've learned.
Speaker2: He'll say yes and he doesn't know what he's saying yes to.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: And I've learned I need to read the situation so that if it's someone asking
Speaker2: about something very specific that it could cause pain for them in the future if I change my mind, if I can, or whatever, to not do that. So I try to be more focused on the conversation at hand versus just like, uh-huh, uh-huh, and rattling somewhere else. Because, yes, I'll leave the fuck out of people. Well, okay. So I do it with porn. It gives people a false sense of hope. Right. Duh. I don't wear a wedding ring, you know, unless who I'm shooting you with says, hey, can you wear that? Because they want to do more of a hot wife thing. Right. Fine. Only had that happen once. I've done it with the ranch. I had one guy that was flirty and he wanted to message on messenger i'm like fine so i message him he's talking about cream pies he's talking about this i'm like oh yeah i love it i could take it or leave it i mean it's fun because it's part of sex but then he's like well we will get along really great and then he led to that we're gonna have sex without a condom like oh no no the rules. And he's like, well, I'm never speaking to you again. I thought you said you liked it. I do like it, but I also follow the rules. But I've also had friends that have shared with me some of their experiences. And some of these people are like, yeah, it will happen type of thing, and it never does. And, you know, well, do you think that they're just pulling my chain, not pulling my chain? I'm like, eh, you know, I have a rule. If you're blown off so many times, then don't keep going. Right. Then open your eyes enough to go that probably this isn't going to happen. Right. Do I joke around? Do I have friends I joke around with going, oh, it's never going to happen? Yes. Will it happen? Yes. But that's just our joke. Have you given him sympathy, folks? Not lately. Have I? Yes. Well. Yes. Have I? Yes. There's some I totally like no. But if it's a hard no, I will blatantly tell them at this point in time no. Right. Doesn't mean later on it won't happen. It still gives them hope. It took you a long time to get to that point. Yes. But you did it for a different reason i don't remember
Speaker1: who it was well i'll give you a list because there's at least four of them they did sympathy yes uh the the thing is is but you didn't lead them on but you your motives were different your most were literally you didn't want to hurt their feelings I don't know. lead them on but you your motives were different your most were literally you didn't want to hurt their feelings and and you've since learned as we both have in the lifestyle that sometimes trying not to hurt their feelings can actually lead to way more hurt feelings than just being honest but also being in the spotlight does that make it harder to do that? Yes. It does because there's an added level of you're only as popular when you're a musician or an actor or a politician or whatever. Insert a coach. You're only as popular as long as the people let you be. So there's a thing of separating, and you're nice to everybody because they're customers. But when we first started in this, you've never done it vindictively. And I think there's a huge difference. in intentions, make a difference, in my opinion, if you're doing it, because you want to milk their ass. And there's people that do. I can honestly, I've been nice to people all the way through, I've never milked somebody just to make money off of them. I've never taken and tried to steer somebody If I've said Hey Mabel all the way through i've never milked somebody just to make money off of them i've never taken and tried to steer somebody i if i've said hey maybe we'll try to hook up at an event in my heart of hearts i really wanted to i meant that i now it's always wishful thinking my part but i've never said oh yeah yeah we'll we'll hook up have you bought your ticket knowing damn well with no intentions of doing it because just to get their money. We know someone that throws parties that did that. He literally slept with everybody to get their business. Yeah. Yeah. And we know people that still to this day throw events the joy of knowing people around the country. We know people all over the place to make their events popular will say whatever to get people to spend the money to go. That is malicious intent. That is you're trying to fucking rip people off. I don't think – and I don't believe most people in the lifestyle do that maliciously.
Speaker3: No.
Speaker1: No, I don't think so. I think most people don't want to hear from this, but I'm going to say this. I think, and I think this can go for either men or women. As a guy, I'm going to say only because of my perspective. I've seen more with women than men. Again, that's just my perspective. I think there are women that will they women than men again that's just my perspective i think there are women that will they they have malicious intent no they don't have malicious intent for somebody else they just don't give a fuck they just want it it's like a notch to them oh well all these guys just want me and they'll leave these fucking guys on because they just they feed off of that without a zero give a fuck about what they're doing to to the people that they're the guys that they're stringing along can guys do it too yes i i think they can it just Obviously, as a guy, I'm going to notice it more with women. And the shitty part about that, the two examples of malicious and you're trying to get something out of them or just to feed your own ego is that all the other people that just legitimately don't want to hurt somebody's feelings, don't know how to turn somebody down, whatever, get lumped into that one big category. And really, they didn't mean to do anything. They were just trying to be nice. They didn't know how to say, you know, I appreciate it, but no, I'm not interested. The other part of that is that I think that we all have a responsibility to learn how to be better at being honest and saying, I really appreciate it, but I'd rather have you as a friend versus whatever. Letting the chips fall where they may, and we all need to get better at that. But by the same token, part of the reason we, people in general, are going to take and say do the dance method and not be honest is because of how people will react. I'm sorry. No one wants to be at a bar, at an event, and trying to be honest, you know, I appreciate it. I like you as a friend, but I'm really not interested. and then have somebody just fucking lose their mind and we've seen that happen which instantly makes everybody a little edgy on wanting to be honest no it does my thing have you ever been honest because i can't think for sure and so i actually want to know have you ever been honest? Because I can't think for sure. So I actually want to know. I'm calling my needs. I want to know. Have you ever been honest with somebody and had it totally, I don't want to say backfire, but where they ended up being like dickish with you? Could be gyro because you're bi. So it could be gyro. Be bitch or dickish with you or go off on you or treat you shitty because you were honest? No. Not that I can recall. Not that I can recall. But, you know, early on, I would dance around it. You know, my favorite – give away my hints. My favorite response is never say never. Because at that point in time, it's a no. But it doesn't mean I won't change my mind later. And that's not a lie with you. That's 100% not a lie with you. No, because there's people at one point in time I had zero interest in and then later on ended up having sex and having a great time. It just depends. There's one I can think of in particular and obviously won't mention names but right on a piece of paper um i'd like to know who he's talking about okay hold on oh yeah okay you had for he had been this individual all always respectful yes very but he had been interested in you i mean we met him when we were early on in the lifestyle, relatively. And he had been interested in you all the way through. A little bit older, and at that point in time, age was still, we were new enough that age either way was still kind of like a... He wasn't that much older than I am. He looked a little bit older than what he is look at yeah and and just it we were we were new and so it is what it is and and it's like no you know you were always very polite and he was he he made sure to make it out he's all the way through he wanted to fuck you always respectful and then finally we're at an event and uh i'm like hey do you care if i go Thank you. Always respectful. And then finally, we're at an event. I'm like, hey, do you care if I go see if he wants to go play? Yeah, because he'd asked you to dance once or twice. It was like, holy shit, seriously? And it was kind of like, you're kind of like, okay, well, it was kind of going to be a sympathy fuck. Okay, let's go do this. And, like, three hours later, you still haven't reemerged. I don't think it was a sympathy fuck, but. It was a, you were horny. It was an event. It was somebody else to fuck. And, you know, what the hell. And the joke was, I'm going to go make this night. And you make this night and you asked me you care like no and and when i watch you go over and talk to him he's like i mean he just like fucking perked up and and away away you guys went and at that point in time he had the biggest dick you had ever fucking had yeah and he fucked you-hmm. And it was like two and a half throughout. I mean, he fucked you silly. Yeah. Because I remember at the end of the year, it was like, oh, wow. If I had known that, you know, it's like. And so it's when you say that to somebody, you're not lying. I've heard people that have said that to somebody, knowing damn well that they are lying. Yeah. Because I've had them say it to me. Well, i've heard people that have say say that to somebody knowing damn well that they are lying yeah because i've had them say it to me well i've heard people talk shit about somebody yep to us and say oh my gosh you know you know feel sorry and blah and what a pain in my ass and pathetic blah and then later on they're you know flirting and all this stuff and i go yeah yeah i thought you didn't like them yeah but now all of a sudden you do yeah and every time you saw the same pattern and and it's just um you know i mean and no they were just filling them full of shit they're just filling full of shit for the other challenge and this is where like booze and drugs and everything else that happens at events comes into play is it's very easy and there's certain people in this room that are the king of fucking miss messages makes messages uh to send the wrong message I'm going to put it right there. This is drinking at a vent. Here is one of the major problems with drinking at a vent and getting fucked up. You are... Kissing everybody? You are tongue-fucking everybody that moves. And the thing is, is that the next day, when they're reaching out, because, you know, you didn't maybe say a fucking word, but you're still giving them back their tonsils. You kind of sent them the wrong message. And then all of a sudden it's like, fuck. And now you're backed up because it's not the same the next day. At that moment in time, probably would have absolutely. You know? But it ain't that moment in time anymore. And now all of a sudden it's like, fuck. And now you have a double-edged sword. Because you didn't just say something to lead somebody on. You are making out with them. Actions speak louder than words. And you start to hope you hope that they notice the fact that you're doing the same thing to like 15 other girls. I mean, I've dodged a bullet or two because I did that at KWN. Not this most recent one, but it was at a KWN. And I was absolutely just tongue-flicking looking some girl and then i got called away from something and came back and she was waiting for me started to again and this other girl i really had wanted to comes up and i go excuse me and turned right around and just because i was so fucking train wrecked she got the hint but that's still a horrible thing that's part of reason my goals pretty much quit drinking is quitting stop drinking because it's easy it's easy to do or even if you're not fucked up you're nice you're more relaxed in an event it's amazing the power of a touch it's amazing the power of a touch. It is amazing that when you're sitting and talking to someone and you just casually reach out and touch their back and shoulders, you're talking to them. You're just making a gesture of friendship. But if there's someone that's very interested, it can be perceived as a totally... Yeah, but you can't stop who you are. No, but if you're not fucking half-twisted, then you might think of you just a scoge. But rumor has it that somebody gets kind of flirty and a little smiley and all kinds of other shit, apparently. While you were gone, I was told that, actually. That you were flirty? that i can get that way when i've been drinking but i just give this message this signal just i'm just awfully friendly no idea i would like to say that's a complete and total lie but i don't think it is probably just saying you never do that or i never notice i don't know no i don't make out with people usually at events unless the husband's going if he's gonna make out with you i'm gonna make out with you okay that doesn't happen very often it happened the last kdw but that's a good point it's not like i didn't kiss the guy before i didn't even notice i don't know what i was doing apparently wife. If you can think of who do you see right off the bat and start sticking your tongue down her throat. My. We met them in a town and hooked up with them. My, my dancing partner. Yes. She gets dressed like I do. Yes. Yes. It's the greatest story ever. I don't know who anybody says Oh my god Oh my god She likes to drink too It was the end of the night And me and her husband were just standing there Just watching going what the fuck At the end of the night Everybody was pretty twisted And they played Dirty Dancing And oh my good lord and you know what i can husband goes this is gonna be because all of a sudden we did and we went to opposite sides of the fucking dance floor like here it goes and you know a lot of people just stopped to everybody like you could feel in the room that's like this is gonna be bad because we were both way too drunk to try the fucking lip move. And you could just see. And y'all ended up, like, hugging or something. No, we couldn't do that. I didn't drop her. We didn't fall and I didn't drop her. But I would love to be able to. If people would have had bubbles above their head with words when she took off on the run, I'll bet it was priceless because there were people in the crowd that were like yeah we saw that and went uh-oh so yeah well mike goes what the fuck i'm like i have no idea here we go and he goes this is either gonna be good or it's gonna be bad what's funny is neither one of you two you didn't try to stop us no we were dancing just kind of just watched just kind of just watched. You guys were just kind of watched the train wreck. I really wonder if we would have fucking just like exploded. If you guys all would have just like, they deserve it and just kept running. Probably. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I know that's totally off topic, but I always think about that. I think about that a lot in a while. So, okay, so here's the thing. We're talking a lot as in singles, but this same concept can happen with couples.
Speaker2: Well, we're talking about it just in general because I wasn't necessarily talking about it. I mean, talking about a single, but.
Speaker1: Well, the concept with couples makes it, this is why it's pretty important. I've said this, and it's kind of old school rules and old school thought process. And it's rules that I broke and that we didn't necessarily do as well at a time when we were new. I'm telling you, if you're a new couple and you're listening to this, watch your partner. You should know your partner's subtle nuances.
Speaker3: Okay, your partner shouldn't have to be over here, like,
Speaker1: sending smoke signals, fuck, get me out of the, you know what I mean? You should be able to look over and notice and see your... See the stare. Well, just see the subtle uncomfortableness or whatever. Because you might not. When you have four people, you have four different perspectives. And, oh, my God, then go and talk before you commit to anything. Seriously. But I think that's the big part. Because here's the deal. If I'm over saying to the girl, let's go fuck, and she's like, let's go fuck, and you're over saying to the guy, never say never, there's going to be an awkward situation at some point in time because at some point in time we're going to go, well, we're all going to go fuck. For us it wouldn't be a big deal deal now because we play separately but if you don't play separately like you you have to be conscious of that and and you know so many times at events as couples you know you go to the bathroom or i'm going to the bathroom and you get grabbed caught by half the couple or whatever people in general if you said hey basically you know this is a no you need to share that information then like when you get back hey just so you know i just ran into you know jack and diane and i said hey you know maybe, never say never, so that everybody's on the same fucking page. Primarily because to avoid a very embarrassing situation. We have one couple friend that she would have her husband get her a drink, and when she said this drink, he knew that that was a no-go, and would go up to the bar and then go, okay, so that's not happening. Right. And then bring her a drink back. And that was their cue. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that, if nothing else. Again, just so you don't want the reputation of half the couple saying one thing and the other half saying something totally different. Because all of a sudden, well, you know, she's a fucking bitch. You know, he's trying to do something cheat or vice versa. You know, he's a fucking dick. She's trying to get something set up and he's constantly saying no and looks like an ass. The communication factor with it to make sure you're on the same page. And then understand as a couple, you have to have your boundaries as a couple figured out. Because really, again, let's face it, to avoid that whole concept of taking one for the team or whatever else, it's so that you can be honest. So as a couple, you can practice being honest. But nowadays, you can just text each other at the same table.
Speaker3: Back then, that didn't happen. No.
Speaker1: But you can text each other at the same table. But you have to be able to communicate to be honest and be okay with if your partner says, I'm not interested, so that you can have that honest conversation with that couple and a united front. And I'm going to tell you, presentation is everything.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: Because if you're not interested in a couple,'re like cole this is not you know i'm really not interested okay i'll handle it and then i go up and say to the couple you know trying to be honest i'd do it but she doesn't want to she's not interested but the thing is i've seen that happen before oh my gosh that's horrible you know or the vice versa well you know i would i'm interested but he's really not you know we appreciate the attempt to be honest is great some honesty needs to stay between the couple don't make you're still gonna hurt the other one's feelings if if the guy's interested in the girl but the girl isn't interested in the guy that's gonna hurt. Yes. I'm more about hurting feelings. I've always been a people pleaser. I don't want to hurt people's feelings. Yeah. No. It's – have you had times where – okay, we've talked about it. We have where it's burned people, where it came up later and basically – well, we've had people that are fucking – I was going to say back up. In terms of trying to save to save feelings actually i'm trying to think of an example where trying to save feelings down the road ended up like exploding in our face we haven't really had that i mean we've had where people are like well i thought you said maybe well it was easy to put hey look things have kind of changed some people though we had intentions but we just got too busy and it just didn't happen and they probably took it the wrong way yes which there's thinking how you want to we're busy and we can't always fit it in especially do not come and ask us at a event to save time because we don't have time we hardly have time to talk. Yeah, we let alone there's been people that we had intentions to that would have for whatever reason just never work out and then we reached a point that we became really good friends with and and it changed the dynamics you know i mean that that's we've had friends we've hooked up with and became really good friends with and it changed that dynamic and we haven't hooked up with for years and years and we're still good friends but we're still good friends and and all of those things are okay it's okay i think people don't understand it sometimes it's okay to change your mind it's okay to go you know like you say never say never and then at some point in time go well you know what maybe something's changed your life something's changed in some way they do something or you've learned something whatever and also it's like you know i kind of have no get to know him a little better i would like to you know there's nothing because sometimes nothing. Because sometimes you would like to get to know him a little bit better before you make that decision. Because personality plays a big part in, at least for me, on hooking up with somebody. Have I had my last minute? Oh, let's just go do it. Yes. And there's times that that's fun. We love to sport fuck it's a blast there's other times that it's been you know what for whatever the mood at wherever we're at has been off where we never dated we didn't we we didn't go out on dates whatever and most times if we were going out with somebody we were going to fuck everybody knew that's where we're gonna go meet no fuck but there's been, look, we were at another event, and it looked like it was going to, you know, hey, well, maybe we'll try to plan something. For us, planning stuff is always a fucking disaster, right? But it was just other things, nothing that the couple did, but just other things in life came up that just the mood wasn't there. It's like, you know what? No, it's nothing personal. No, just not. Or, you know, I think for us and other event planners, there is a challenge when you do events, even when you go to other people's events, it is a challenging thing to get an actual read on people. When we go to other people's events, you're in that frame of mind. You're so used to your own events. A, we have people come up and ask us about our events. So then you're kind of, for me, I kick in kind of into of into that work mode or whatever so i'm talking about events or i'm trying to see things that are really cool that maybe we could use our event or stuff because we when we leave other people events we always have the conversation well that was really neat i wonder how that would work something like that would work it whatever uh and when you go to events like our local area we know everybody really well and so it's kind of an extension and honestly when we go to events far away there's an added like okay that'd be great I can honestly say that you get so we don't have to work to have people come talk to us at our event because it's our event. And everybody has that, right?
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: So then we go to somebody else's event somewhere far, far away, and we generally stay pretty quiet with ourselves. We're not super flirty at that point in time. Have you ever noticed that? It's kind of funny. And I think for me, I, part of it is, you know, it's, it's, I'm a, I, I, I'm, I'm nervous to talk to people. I don't have to try it. People come up to talk to us, not to fuck us, but just to talk to us. So it's, it's interesting. And I think back now to all the time where we were, I don't know if we were picky and choosy, but we were like, ah, we could be. And we were a little bit. And so we were like, well, maybe I should take advantage of some of those opportunities. And not to be picky and choosy. It's kind of off topic. I apologize. But it still, it ties into it. Okay, so with that being said, rejection. I went through a big, huge. You did. Learn rejection because it's not, it's a killer. Yeah. I went through three weeks of it. And this is coming, I mean, keep this in in mind you have been in the lifestyle 14 plus years you have shot porn and shoot porn currently you have got your body at a point where you're very happy with your body you've worked very hard to get there and I'm only giving that so people understand understand this isn't like you know when we're brand new in the lifestyle you're pretty solid and confident in who you are and it was still a fucking huge thing and it was using here because i just felt so bad because there's nothing i could do no it was just a life lesson on how to take rejection It really was so for me if someone goes you know i i would rather not okay i'm still terrified of that are you i i i'm i'm terrified of that because i have no confidence currently in myself so to but you wouldn't overreact if someone were to say no no i in front of them i wouldn't wouldn't overreact. Well, no. When you got home, it'd be like, oh, shit. When we went back to the hotel room, I would just be like, I just want to go and just stay here and hide. Can I just cry a minute? Yeah. No. No, but I mean, it's a lesson on how to take rejection. Yeah. Yeah. Is it going to kill your ego a little bit? Not necessarily ego, but self-confidence.
Speaker2: Yeah, it does. But sometimes you have to process it of, you know, in the moment, yes, it's kind of like a, you know, your heart sinks a little bit of they don't want me. But then you also have to remember all the people that have said yes.
Speaker1: Right, right. So this one person said no the people that have said yes. Right.
Speaker3: Right. So this one person said no, but ten others said yes. You slut. Right. You know, shit, whore. You know.
Speaker1: Right.
Speaker3: Then you shouldn't gauge it on one person. Your self-worth should never be gauged on anybody else.
Speaker1: No. I can honestly say my fear of rejection now is enough that I would almost make it impossible for us to swing again as a couple.
Speaker3: Really?
Speaker2: Right now it would.
Speaker1: I would not. I would not. It would be very hard for me. I wouldn't say it's crushing, but it would be because I would feel like either a you could have but if i wasn't with you you know that i was i was the weak link that's that's a me problem right uh and and it just would have the fear of you know it's all a me problem at this point because I don't look and I don't feel like I used to. So I don't look as good as I used to, whatever. I would love to have the confidence to walk up to a mid-20s couple, right? Because you don't look your age and she might have daddy issues. But to walk up to a mid-20s couple and flirt, and I don't look your age and she might have daddy issues uh but to walk up to a mid-20s couple and flirt and and i don't um and i'm somewhat spoiled because honestly whether it's legitimate and real or just because of who we are in terms of because it's our event i haven't had to so long so i have a spilt and, which is part of the reason – the other reason why I've quit drinking because I actually have massive social anxiety. No one ever believes me, but I have massive social anxiety, and I could hide it. And I didn't necessarily get trained or drunk, but I could – if you weren't not going to be able to have a drink with me, it was a party and it was like, cool, it's fun and blah, right? So it's forcing me to try to be that without the protective something to hide behind a little bit. And as you start to look better and better in terms of not that you did before, but better and better to you, you start to hit your goals is actually what I mean, because as you start to hit the goals that you've wanted It's a great day. in terms of, not that you didn't before, but better and better to you. You've started to hit your goals, is actually what I mean. Because, you know, if you start to hit the goals that you've wanted to hit, which is awesome, your confidence, that shines through. And in turn, then, you know, so it's like, well, and I'm here. But I put myself in that position. I'm happy to be like, you know, and I'm a driver. And I'm okay with that, you know, which is really funny because it's just that's, you know. So Cole obviously needs to work on Cole. There's a lot of it. And I think everybody does. And I think that's part of the fucking reason so many of us try to be nice to not hurt feelings instead of being honest is because we can all relate to how we would feel. I don't want someone to come and go, you know, you're really nice and I like you as a friend, but I just, no, I'm just really not interested. I'm like, oh, I totally understand. And inside we're like, fuck my life, what, right? So none of us want to hear that. And I think think as a general most people are very empathetic to other people and they know if it would if it would be shitty for them to hear they don't want to hear it back they don't want to give it to somebody else and in turn it's really not helping anybody we're all kind of enabling each other to be uh to be bullshitted you know because we really we're supposed to all be adults and we all need to work on ourselves enough to understand that they're not rejecting you as a human they just don't want to have their your dick in them i mean you know yeah and and honestly there's some people that that are great people but you don't want to stick your dick in them or vice versa. And it's okay. Very true. The lifestyle has a lot of – there's a lot of it's a me problem in the lifestyle. And in turn, we actually make it worse because we don't – we're not honest because of it. But do you think it could be because we live in a kinder gentler world that we need to tiptoe and not hurt feelings and i mean that somewhat plays i think it i think it plays i think that's part of it i think we also live in a world with a lot of fucking karens uh you know and so and a lot of people pleasers you've got a multiple you've got people that are good that will sit there and go if he can't get it up then fuck him I don't want to fuck him I was on a group and somebody put well should a guy if they know they have issues getting it up go to even lifestyle events well fuck you welcome to the world and the lifestyle is also unique and you have a massive age range so there's some things that that 20 something year old couple might say or do they don't mean to be assholes but their life experiences is half of what ours is so you get a couple that's 25 and 27 we're 54 and 53 not yet close enough anyways they have half of the life experience and and the half they have even less of it is as an adult. So their perspective is going to be different. So they will say something. They haven't had it happen to know, you don't say that, that's a root type thing. And then you go to the other ones. There are people that come to our events that have us by 15 and 20 years that their perspective, you know, when I'm fuck this, fuck that, think that's totally rude and inappropriate because, you know when I'm fuck this fuck that think that's totally rude and inappropriate because you know so you just have a wide range with it in the lifestyle
Speaker3: yeah
Speaker1: that leads to it I think maybe we should do this for KWI I think that what they should have at one of these things
Speaker3: is
Speaker1: we do speed meet we do all those things I think that what would be Let's go. I think that what they should have at one of these things is, we do speed meet, we do all those things. I think that what would be hilarious is you have a seminar or session that is all where you're going to meet different people. You're meeting them. Whether you're interested or not doesn't matter. And you have to tell them they seem like a really nice person, but're not interested to practice actually doing it a class on how to how to tell a rejection without when everybody knows it doesn't mean you actually aren't interested it's a fun everybody will laugh everybody's just to teach everybody it's just to practice because if we don't practice it How can we get to it? And then let them have the dialogue of, you know, what did you feel? Because you're going to have a 20-something across from me, and I'm going to go, I figured as much. Because that would be how I can see it. Whatever. Or, you know, you're going to have a 28-year-old guy guy across you and go, well, of course, he's in most of them old. Or they're going to go, well, you know, why would they want us since we don't know what we're doing? We're young. Whatever. And it would be a fun, a funny and relaxed way to do it to practice with people. I'm totally talking to my therapist about this. I'm going to be doing that kind of thing. Actually, that's a really good idea. Except you just gave it away. Well, it doesn't matter. They've got to buy tickets yet. We've got to hold fucking eight months. No, I mean other people to steal your ideas because people like to do that. They don't listen to me. They don't listen. Thank God. If you're listening, fuck off. All right. That was a pretty good show. Good job. Now we've got two more to record today. Oh, boy. You going to do as good in the next one? I don't know. Probably not. All right. So listen to 231. It might suck because we're doing it next. No. So, hey, Noah, thank you very much for tuning in. Hey, if you want to come to any of our events, we do have Crazy Vegas Nights. There's still tickets available for that. Crazy Summer Nights is coming up in August. And tickets and rooms are going quickly and available for Crazy Winter Nights, which is January 30th through February 1st. So you check out crazycasma.com to get all of the tickets and information on those things. If you go to our adult websites, missamanda.net, triplexsanta.com, you can find out where we're going to be if you want to come visit us, because we're going to be at Exotic, because we're going to be in Orlando at ASN Awards, and we're going to be at some different places. So if you would like to ever come meet us, we would love to meet you. We're at some of the different places that we are at. And check out some of our merch and all the other fun stuff. Again, shout-out to our sponsors, VoterBunny.com we appreciate them very very much asnlifestylemagazine.com again uh sponsors of a lot of our events so we really appreciate it as well as basis dx again testing is everybody's responsibility make sure you do yours with that being said uh doing it the only way i know how the only way i want to and the only way i ever fucking will chasm style out bye